What Are You Wearing? | Pastor Chris Kouba

Hey Greg, grab your Bibles, open them up with me to Colossians chapter three.

Colossians chapter three.

As you are finding that, let me just kind of speak to you a little bit, give you a few announcements.

This is Holy Week.

This is going to be a very, very exciting week, not only in the life of our church, but of course, this represents all that Jesus did for us this week with all the different aspects that go along with that.

And we plan on celebrating that in a mere many different ways.

One, just let you know we have 18 different Easter egg hunts that are taking place all over the community, many of them at local schools, who have basically literally passed them out to their students for us, which is just amazing.

The access that God's allowed us to have in some of our schools.

We've got some parks that we're going to be doing them in.

Your life group should have already been assigned to those.

So hopefully you are going to be participating and helping us to greet folks and to get the word out about our Easter services.

This Wednesday, very, very exciting.

We're having a dodgeball tournament with our youth at Turner Stadium, which is pretty cool.

Uh, it's going to be a pretty amazing event and want to just encourage you one student to be a part of that, but also parents get your students there to be to participate in that.

We're hoping to give an opportunity not only to see a bunch of kids get saved, but also a chance to let people know about Easter services.

And then you should have seated a card in your seat, or maybe when you came in today, it looks like this.

So just want to make sure you grab this and know what the Easter schedule is this coming week.

It begins uh on Friday night, six o'clock is gonna be our first service where we are gonna have baptism and Lord's Supper.

If your next step is to get baptized, please talk to us.

We'd love to talk to you about being baptized, but also we're gonna be celebrating the Lord's Supper together.

It's gonna be a very special time on Good Friday.

And then on Saturday, we've got two services at 4:30 and 6.

And then Sunday morning, 8:30, 10, and 11:30.

What I'm asking you to do, if you are a regular attender here at United City, to consider going to one of our Saturday night services and serving with us on Sunday morning.

We simply know this the majority of our guests come on Sunday mornings, and we want to make as much room for them as possible.

So if you would consider either that 4:30 or that six o'clock service on Saturday night, we would really, really appreciate that.

Colossians chapter three is where we're gonna be today.

Uh, we are continuing in our sermon series that we started a few weeks ago on the topic of forgiveness.

And we've been looking at this very important topic.

We do an Easter survey, which we'll do next Sunday, where we ask folks, what is it that you want to hear uh God's word taught about?

We give you a bunch of different topics to choose from.

And two years in a row, the number two, almost number one topic that was chosen was the topic of forgiveness.

Now, based upon the feedback that we've gotten over the course of the last three weeks, and based upon the inner turmoil that Jason, Mick, and I have had as we've prepared these messages, I'm realizing that the reason that we all chose forgiveness is not because it sounds interesting, but my guess is because we're all carrying something.

Because I don't know about you, but this series has messed with me like very few series I've ever done before.

We planned these things out a long time ago.

And as I'm preparing, God's beginning to bring out, hey, have you forgiven them?

What about this?

What about, and it's just this constant type thing where I'm having to learn what this looks like.

If you remember, the very first week where we talked about was what does it look like if you need to be forgiven by God?

And we talked about the need for confession and how confession brings healing, and confession allows God to begin to cover over your sins.

We then talked about Francisco's story, and we talked about whenever somebody does something very wrong to you, when somebody offends you or abuses you or mistreats you or puts you in a position where they've hurt you in some big way, what does it look like to forgive them?

We talked about how Francisco got on a plane and he went all the way to Chile to forgive his father who murdered his mom.

And even though his father didn't have some magical reaction, you know what happened?

Francisco was changed as a result of that action.

Because so often, what takes place when somebody has abused you and you harbor unforgiveness, you end up putting yourself in a prison that they're not even in.

But you can find freedom when you experience forgiveness.

Last week, Jason Mick did an amazing job talking to us about some of the what-ifs, the barriers to forgiveness.

And what about this situation?

And what about this situation?

And we we looked at some of those and we saw how if you don't choose to forgive, it's like carrying around a big backpack of weights that are gonna weigh you down and keep you from living the life that God intends for you to live.

This morning I want to talk to you about something that's a little bit more daily.

I'm gonna be honest with you.

There are people that I love, there are people that are near to me, there are people that I interact with a lot, and I'm tired of forgiving them.

Like I'm just done with it.

It's not necessarily because of how how bad they've treated me or because of what they've done to me has been so horrible.

It's mainly just because it just keeps coming up over and over and over and over again.

Do you have people like this in your life?

You know, I'm talking about when basically it's not a situation to where it's all about the forgiveness with some big grand moment and some big grand experience.

It's uh I get it when it's like I gotta get on the plane and I gotta go to Chile and I gotta go to the beat to dad and all that stuff.

That's one thing, but what about like the daily interactions, the stuff that happens on Tuesday, the stuff that happens on Wednesday, the stuff that happens again on Thursday, and then it comes up again on Friday.

Let me just paint a scenario for you.

Let's say you're uh a pretty early riser, you get up, you're about to head out of the uh of the for the day, whether it be to school, whether it be to work, 7 a.m., and as you're about to head out the door, uh you begin to stew over what your spouse, or maybe if you're if you're not married, but you've got a roommate, your roommate said to you, uh, and you begin to kind of begin to think about that.

And it's not like it was so bad that it's worthy of bringing up on the prayer request list.

And it's not even so bad that you want to necessarily go and bring it up to the other person, but it's something that you thought about that they said before you went to bed, and you woke up and you're still thinking about it.

Anybody ever had that experience before?

Some of you just looked at each other like, I had that experience with you last night, all right?

And and we're not dealing with that yet, okay?

And then you go to work or you go to school and you interact with that guy or that girl.

You know what I'm talking about.

It's the one you just thought about whenever I just mentioned that, okay?

And it's not so much that they do anything that like you need to report to HR or you need to like turn them into the authorities, but they're just annoying.

They're just do stuff that you're like, why do you do that?

Why do you chew that way?

Why do you act that way?

Why do you respond that way?

And it's just this constant kind of just grinding that every time you're around them, it just kind of begins to just make you frustrated.

Then you go home and you look into your sink, and there are dishes that are left in the sink for the fourth time this week.

And not one specific thing throughout the day you could say, oh man, my day was ruined right here.

But if that moment, you just kind of have a feeling.

It's hard to describe the feeling.

Maybe it's anger, maybe it's resentment, maybe it's irritability, maybe it's just this unsettlingness.

But you know this, you feel like you were on the verge of blowing.

And what's weird is that you weren't abused that day.

You weren't abandoned that day.

There was no big massive event that took place that kind of ruined your day.

But it's the daily little bitty grinds.

My brother and I, whenever we were growing up, just like typical brothers would do, we'd always pick at each other.

And so what I would go is you're not supposed to punch, you know, I wasn't supposed to punch my brother.

And so what I would begin to do is we go over to each other, and then what we do is we just kind of tap each other.

Tap each other, right?

And each individual little tap isn't that big of a deal.

But like when you're like 20, 25 taps in, you know what starts to happen?

It starts to hurt, it starts to be like a bruise.

I think that's a good description of what life is like for a lot of us.

How do we deal with the little taps that end up becoming something that's painful?

Like, how does this forgiveness thing work?

I get it in the really big stuff, but how does it work in like the daily stuff?

Like the normal interactions of life.

Main point I want you to write down for this message today is this forgiveness is not an event you survive.

It's a lifestyle you practice.

Forgiveness is not an event you survive.

It's a lifestyle you practice, and what I've discovered is that it feels like we don't usually talk about this.

Like when we think about forgiveness, it's always super heavy, but a lot of times a lot of little things make something heavy.

And in and of themselves, they're not big, but collectively altogether, they're huge.

So, what I want to do is I want to talk through how to address this before you do everything, anything else tomorrow morning, before you pick up your phone, before you check your counter, I want you to do 30 seconds, before you walk out the door, and I want you just to pose this question.

Lord, who do I need to forgive today?

Who do I need to forgive today?

Would you help me do that right now?

I'm gonna come back to this 30 seconds, but I want to just tell you what I'm about to walk you through is the theology behind those 30 seconds.

The Apostle Paul in Colossians chapter 3 is about to walk us through a whole series of relationships.

Colossians 3 · chapter mention

He's gonna give us guidance down the road.

If you were read Colossians 3 and 4, you're gonna see how he gives guidance on how to deal with with a working situation, how to deal with a family dynamics, how to deal with parenting situations, how to deal with unbelievers, but he grounds all of that in this theology that we're gonna look at in Colossians chapter 3, verses 1 through 14.

Colossians 3:1–14

If you would, would you stand in the honor of the reading of God's word as we read this passage together?

Verse 1, if then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.

Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.

For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Put to death, therefore, what is earthly in you sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

On account of these the wrath of God is coming.

In these you too once walked when you were living in them, but now you must put them all away anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.

Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices, and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.

Here there is not Greek or Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, scythian, slave, free, but Christ is all and in all.

Put on, then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and compatience, bearing with one another, and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Verse 14, and above all these, put on love which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

You may be seated.

I want you to notice what happens in the first four verses of Colossians chapter three.

He begins to say that Christ has been raised from the dead, and Christ is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

And then it says that if we are believers in Jesus, then we have the same location.

We ultimately will be with him in that place.

And so the idea is this if you're gonna be in a different location, you gotta think differently.

Like you can't just do the same old stuff.

If you're gonna follow Christ, it means that you have to have a different mentality as to how you view the world.

He then begins to move in verse eight to a very familiar language that everybody would be able to relate to, and that is clothing.

He talks about some things that you're supposed to put off.

The New King James translation says this one says put them all away.

The New King James translation says to put off.

Then it says that a few verses later, there's certain things that you're supposed to put on.

It's like a daily choice, and I'm gonna choose to either put off these certain things or I'm gonna choose to put on these certain things.

This is the choice that is in front of me.

Now I know some of you, you all we all respond differently as it relates to the clothes that we wear.

All of you had to make a choice when you put on your clothes this morning.

Some of you in my house, but some of you here today may do stuff like some people in my house who basically they try on all of their closet to make the decision on what to wear that particular day.

I don't understand it.

It didn't change from the day before, but every day, it's every single outfit.

It takes a, it's like an hour process just to figure out what to wear to go to church, okay?

Or you've got other people in my house that literally choose whatever is most available, whether it's clean or not, and they just grab it and they put that on, and that's what they choose to wear.

Whatever way you are, all of you have to make a decision as to what to wear each day.

The same thing is true spiritually when it comes to relationships.

When you interact with other people, when you interact with your family, when you interact with your coworkers, when you interact with your neighbors, when you interact with your friends, you've got to make a choice.

What am I gonna put on?

What am I going to wear today?

And there's a key verse in the midst of this, verse 13, which says that I'm to forgive other people as God in Christ has forgiven me, which means that it allows me to make a choice.

I'm not just abound to whatever I wake up and think.

I instead have a choice.

God has forgiven me, which gives me the power to then make a choice.

What I can choose is this rack over here.

I brought some of my outfits here, my clothes.

And this right here I'm gonna put as the put off category.

Okay.

Now I want you to know right away there's some items that don't look that bad.

But this items that are on this thing, in fact, many times what you begin to see is the things that we inherit, the way that we interact with other people, has less to do with what God's word and the spirit of God moving inside of us and more to do with how we were raised.

What do my parents do?

Or what do my friends do?

What is the environment I'm around?

I'm gonna treat people that way.

He's saying, No, no, I'm gonna make a choice to put these things off.

Or because I've been forgiven and the Holy Spirit of God lives inside of me, then I can make a choice to put on certain things, which we'll look at here in just a moment.

Know that I have a choice as to which one of these I'm going to do.

Let's walk them through, okay?

First of all, let's look and see the things you're supposed to put off.

Colossians 3, verse 8 reads again.

Colossians 3:8

But now you must put them all away or put them off.

Anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.

Everything that's on this rack is what I choose if I don't choose to forgive.

I'm gonna naturally lean towards these things.

I've got here, uh, this is what I call, I'm sure it's got a better name than this.

It's my Columbia, I call it puffy jacket.

It's probably not really what it's supposed to be called.

I wear this three days of the year in Houston, right?

Like it's 50 degrees.

I'm busting this bad boy out, right?

Just because I want to be able to wear it.

I really, really like this jacket.

Like I love it.

I think it's super comfortable.

It's got omni heat inside.

I don't know if that's a big deal, but it sounds cool, right?

You know, it's kind of a cool deal.

And so I love this jacket.

Anytime it's cold, again, I'm like trying to think through how I can wear this jacket.

Can I want you to let this jacket represent to you the first two items that are on that list, which is anger and wrath.

Anger and wrath.

These aren't the same thing, but they're a progression.

You see, anger starts whenever somebody does something to you, they offend you in some way, they mistreat you, or they're just annoying to you.

And their actions just begin to kind of make you just really, really frustrated.

And it's like a slow smoldering thing that at the end of the day isn't that big of a deal.

But if you let it go, it begins to just like a fire, like a little spark, it just kind of gets bigger and just gets bigger, and just begins to get really big, and you're like, man, that thing is really, really huge.

Let me just stop right here and just tell you in the same way that I really like wearing this jacket, there's a lot of times whenever there's people that are around that I'm in a relationship with that annoy me that I kind of like wearing anger.

Like I just kind of like to, I just kind of like to sit in it a little bit.

Like I don't just want to look, I know I'm supposed to forgive you, but I kind of just want to be mad at you for a little bit.

Like I just want you to know this.

The problem is, Ephesians chapter 4 says that you should not let your anger last overnight.

Ephesians 4 · chapter mention

Why?

Because it results in a root of bitterness.

You know what bitterness does?

It begins to lead to something that's way worse than anger.

It begins to lead to wrath.

It's like a fireball that kind of grows, that anger that's inside of you.

And if you keep it long enough, then what's gonna happen is instead of you just looking at that anger and letting it sit there, you're gonna want to pick it up and throw it at them.

You're gonna want to make sure that they experience the annoyance that they are to you.

You want to make sure that they know the way that they have hurt you.

And don't get me wrong, there's something that feels very comfortable about this cloth.

But what the Bible tells us is that we are very clearly not supposed to allow it to just fester, but instead, we are to take that and we are to put it off.

Next item I got here, I just want to give you a little preacher's secret.

We go all out for Christmas Eve and for Easter.

Those are like our Super Bowls.

So, what that means is every Christmas Eve and every Easter, I'm getting new clothes.

All right, that's exactly what that looks like.

I always do that.

When I was growing up, we always got new stuff on Easter, and I've kept the tradition alive, even more so now that I'm a pastor.

This right here is a shirt that I actually got for last year's Christmas Eve service.

All right.

It's a quarterway shirt.

I don't think, I don't know what you think about it, but I think it's kind of cool.

All right.

So uh uh this is a shirt here.

And the reason I bring this up to you is that look, at the end of the day, this next thing that we're gonna look at, which is malice, doesn't on the surface look that bad.

Like if you just looked at somebody, it would be hard for you to discern malice is what they've got in their hearts.

Let me tell you what malice actually is.

Malice is a word that carries the idea of ill will.

It's a deep-seated desire to harm someone who has harmed you.

But here's the thing: it's the inner life of revenge, but you don't act on it externally.

Here's the antidote to it.

Romans chapter 12, verse 19 says, Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God.

Romans 12:19

For it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.

Here's what malice looks like in real life.

You don't act on it, you don't confront the person, you don't spread the story, you just quietly hope it all goes really bad for them.

Like you hear something didn't work out for them, and in your mind, oh, I'm so sad.

Yes.

You never say it out loud, but it's there.

I've been there.

And here's what I've learned: the moment that you stop expecting to forgive someone and start waiting for them to get what they deserve, you've handed them something that they don't even know they have, and that is living rent-free in the basement of your soul.

Because when you harbor unforgiveness and it looks on the surface like you've got it all figured out, but the reality is this what's happening is it's just going underground.

And man, when it goes underground, that's whenever it begins to get really bad.

Here's the Bible says before you even get to that place, get it off.

Take it off.

You don't need anything around it.

This next one, whenever I uh was telling my wife that I was gonna be doing this illustration, I put this on and said, Hey babe, what do you think?

And she's like, not your look, all right?

Um I was like, why not?

And she goes, well, first of all, it doesn't match.

I don't have any clue what matches or whatever else.

I have to text her and talk to her all the time.

Like, what does this look good?

Whatever.

Uh but she also said, Hey, just my opinion, but the whole t-shirt and vest thing, not a good look, all right?

Apparently, if you wear a color shirt, it's fine.

And some of you are like, I have that on right now.

I'm so sorry.

No judgment.

I'm just telling you, my wife doesn't think this looks good for me.

All right, that's all I want you to know, okay?

But I want this one though to be a slander, folks.

Let me just go ahead and tell you a little secret.

Slander's not a good look, it doesn't look good.

And it's one of those things that's loud.

Because now, whenever you have that frustration or you have that anger, you have that wrath, or like malice at least is dignified enough to look good on the outside, it's just going on on the inside.

Slander, you just let it all out.

You start telling people all that you think, and this is what happens when you process your pain with your mouth instead of processing your pain on your knees.

You tell others, you build a case, you begin to recruit people to your side.

Proverbs chapter 16, verse 28 says, A whisperer separates close friends.

Proverbs 16:28

You know what happens whenever you begin to slander?

You begin to pull people into your trap that at the end of the day they never wanted to be a part of.

But they're hearing you slander somebody else, and then now they put themselves in a really difficult place.

Before you share, you should ask, Am I processing?

This with somebody?

Or am I poisoning somebody with this?

Those are very different things.

The Bible says there that we are to put these things off.

Last one is is this one here.

It's my I won this.

I don't even where I was, but I won this somewhere.

It's a Patagonia fleece.

But it's pretty cool because it zips up the whole way.

A lot of times I'm an early riser, and whenever I get up pretty early, it's still kind of cold in our house because everybody's wanting to sleep with temperatures that are like that.

And I know it's going to get warmer later.

So I will grab this as like my go-to all the time, just to basically provide me some warmth just for a little bit.

I just absolutely love it.

Super comfy, super, super uh cozy, and allows me to warm up a little bit.

What I want this to represent is contempt.

I want this to represent contempt.

The phrase that Paul uses is obscene talk from your mouth, which goes beyond just like you curse.

It's the names that we call other people in arguments, or the labels, or the tone that says, You're beneath me.

You never do this, you always do this.

Why don't you all do this?

And you just have these accusations that are just laced with the phrasing that you use.

Folks, we all know it.

We're all really good at it.

In fact, most of you, if you're married specifically, probably know the exact words that could set the other person off.

And it's this idea that look, I I I've got to I've got to understand contempt is one of those things where it's like, if I'm not forgiving someone, then what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna eventually vilify them and begin to treat them like they're not actually somebody made in the image of God.

It's that point where we've stopped seeing the person as someone to forgive and started seeing them as someone to dismiss.

That person at your office, I'm just gonna ignore them.

I'm just gonna ice them.

I'm just gonna act like they aren't even around.

Marriage research confirms what scripture already knew.

Contempt is the single greatest predictor of divorce.

When you speak about someone with contempt, you're not just being rude, you're sinning against an image bearer of God.

I'm better than you.

And so therefore, I don't need to forgive you.

I need to make sure you know the power dynamic that's going on here.

Every item on the rack is something that we put on instead of forgiving.

And someone hurt us, we may find a way to make ourselves feel better by making them feel worse.

But here's what Paul says take it off.

All of it.

But God doesn't just leave us with an empty closet, He instead gives us a list of things that we are to choose to put on.

He begins it in verse 12.

Let's read it again, the second rack.

He says, put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved.

That's a description of who we are.

Here's the phrases compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another.

And if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

What I want you to see is that before we walk through this list, Paul doesn't treat in verse 13 forgiveness like it's one in the list of virtues.

He's instead showing that forgiveness, this whole idea we've been talking about, is the thread which all of these things get connected together.

Ephesians chapter 4, verse 32 says it like this: be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32

It's a thread running that connects everything all together.

Here's what I want to look at what is a what do we need to put on and what do these things represent?

This is by far my favorite sports coat.

Um it says here, Chris Cuba 2019.

I got this in 2019 whenever I left Preston Wood, where I'd served for 17 years.

Uh they were so gracious and kind to me on my exit, and one of the things that they gave me was a custom sport coat.

Like custom, meaning like I met with a guy who like measured you and all that kind of stuff.

And I'm just telling you, it's hard to go back whenever you've had that experience.

All right.

Uh uh luckily they paid for it.

So it was like, man, this is it just it, I love this this coat.

I love it.

I love how it looks, I love how it fits.

I love everything about, in fact, every time I put this sport coat on, even right now, I'm thinking, man, I wish I dressed up more.

Like I do.

I just I like dressing up.

I like the look of it, I like the feel of it.

I like, I like how I like how I just feel confident whenever I'm wearing something like this.

But I also know this isn't my default.

I live in Houston, Texas.

I'm not gravitating towards like, man, let me get a sport coat today.

I'm not usually trying to do that.

I'll wear it when I need to, and I really enjoy it.

And every time I do, I'm like, man, I wish I did this more often.

But this sport coat is one of those things that, man, it's just amazing how good it feels.

I want this sport coat to represent to you the very first thing there, which is compassionate heart.

The Greek word that is mentioned there by Paul is one that means intestines or the gut or deepest internal organs, meaning this.

This isn't just being nice.

It's being moved at the deepest level by somebody else's pain.

Jesus, it says this all the time throughout the Gospels.

It says that he looks at the people and he said they were harassed without a shepherd, and he had deep compassion on them.

It doesn't just mean, like, oh man, I hope that works out for him.

It means that he felt it in his gut.

Man, I wonder what they're walking through.

I wonder what they're dealing with.

I wonder what that looks like.

This is where forgiveness has to start, not with the offense, but with the person beneath the offense.

Compassion asks this question: What is the person that offended me carrying that I can't see?

The person who is hardest to forgive is almost always the person most in need of compassion.

Because forgiveness without compassion is just gritted teeth.

Fine, I forgive you.

It's instead moving to a posture which says this.

I don't know all that's going on in your story, but I just need you to know this.

I've I forgive you.

A few years ago, back whenever I was in my last church, I was dealing with a situation where um I had a staff member that was doing the same thing over and over again.

It wasn't a crisis, it wasn't like a uh a catastrophe, it wasn't like something that I needed to reprimand them in an HR way or anything like that.

It was just something that they were doing over and over and over again, the same pattern.

And I basically just found myself at a place where I was done with my patients with it.

And I'm just thinking, man, I'm just I'm I'm gonna deal with this.

And I remember going to another staff member and I remember selling them about the situation, and the staff member asked me a question that stopped me cold.

Hey, do you have any idea what's going on with them right now?

I had no clue.

You want to know why I didn't know?

Because all I'd been doing is rehearsing the offense, and I had not once thought, what's going on with them in their lives?

You see, compassion is what I'm gonna choose to put on.

Here's the thing: it didn't change the need to address the situation with the staff member, but it radically changed my posture towards that staff member.

Folks, I'm not trying to say that you just need to like, well, I'm just need to experience abuse or uh I'm a toxic relationship.

I'm not saying that at all, but I am saying this you don't need to rehash it all and think about how great you are and how bad they are, because I'm just telling you, it's not gonna lead to a good place.

But you instead need to maybe ask this question Man, what what may be going on with them?

How can I pray for them?

What does this look like to put on this radically?

And here's what I'm telling you when you put it on, it feels good.

Like it gives you a confidence in a situation that previously nothing in the circumstance of the situation has changed, but the very posture and the clothes that you've put on has changed your confidence about that situation.

Because it allows you to see them differently.

Let me give you the next one.

Here's a just a normal, this is a little J.

Crew Oxford.

I really like this shirt right here, particularly this color, because I feel like this is one of those shirts that at the end of the day you could wear with anything at any time.

It's one of those that I could wear open.

This is one of those that I could wear closed, this is the one I could tuck in, this is one all the different things, no matter what you put underneath it, kind of just a standard, no matter what color.

You can wear navy, you can go black, whatever it is, you got all the different options with this one.

I want this to represent kindness.

I want this to represent kindness.

This is again not just a pleasant disposition, but it's practical, generous orientation towards people who may not have earned it.

It's grace expressed in action.

Kindness is for what forgiveness looks like when it stops being internal and it starts being visible.

You can say that you've forgiven someone and then treat them with coldness, but that is not forgiveness, that is just a ceasefire.

Real forgiveness eventually produces kindness, meaning I'm not gonna forgive you and then ignore you.

I'm gonna forgive you and then give you grace you don't deserve.

Like, how am I gonna do that?

Because you're gonna wake up and you're gonna remember what God has done for you and you're gonna decide to put this on before the day even starts.

Because if I walk in there keeping tabs and records of wrongs, then guess what?

I'm always gonna look good.

But if I start off the day realizing all that God did for me, guess what?

There ain't nothing that could happen the whole rest of the day that could ever warrant how much I already got that morning.

And because of that, I can put on that kindness, which hear me, it may not be your natural disposition, but can absolutely be a fruit of the spirit and begin to come out.

Look at the next one.

This is uh I mean, I feel kind of bad even doing this, honestly.

This feels like I'm cheating a little bit, but this is my Easter coat.

You guys are getting a little bit of preview of the Easter coat, all right?

I like it so much, I'm wearing it a week ahead.

That's what this means, okay?

Uh I love this coat.

It's a tan coat, it's one of those coats that you can dress up, but it's also one of those that you can also dress a little more casually.

Uh, it's a perfect, it just fits perfect.

I got this at Macy's right off the rack, and it was just like, this was made for me.

You know what I mean?

It's just kind of one of those types of feelings where it just feels, again, incredible, the same kind of feeling whenever you put on a sport coat.

I want this to represent the next two items, which is humility and meekness.

Humility says, I may be right about what happened, but I'm not morally superior to the person who hurt me.

I'm a fellow debtor.

I'm a fellow sinner.

I'm a fellow person who needs grace that I did not deserve.

The moment you cast yourself as the righteous one and them as the broken one, forgiveness becomes impossible because you begin to think, well, I don't need forgiveness at all.

And you may not need forgiveness in the relationship of the person that harms you, but you need forgiveness somewhere else.

So we must not act like I'm gonna hold you to a standard that I would never want God to hold me to.

But instead, I'm gonna realize, man, I'm gonna screw up trying to figure out how to do this whole thing.

And by God's grace, I am what I am.

And in light of that, I'm gonna allow you to have the same freedom.

I'm not gonna be like the debtor who was forgiven millions and then begins to go to the one who owed him thousands and held them to a different standard.

I instead want to put on that humility, which then ultimately leads to meekness whenever it's used in the moment.

Meekness is power under control.

The response that you could give, but you choose not to give.

The last word that you could say, but you choose not to say.

The pressure point that you know could basically push the button and then makes them all mad, and you choose not to push the button.

Meekness is choosing not to reach for it because you've already chosen forgiveness.

Last thing here is my bomber jacket.

My bomber jacket.

I uh don't ride a motorcycle, I don't fly airplanes, but when I put this on, I just feel like Maverick.

I'm not gonna lie to you right now, all right?

Like it just feels cool.

All right, I love this jacket.

It's it's got the right, it's a perfect Houston jacket, right?

Because it's whenever it's just slightly cold, you can put this on and you can get a little bit of warmth, but it's not too heavy to where you have to worry about that.

It's just a perfect fit.

What I want this to represent is patience.

This is patience.

It's interesting whenever you think about patience, you typically think about patience as it relates to circumstances.

Yet every time the word patience is used in God's word, it's actually used to refer to people.

Think about that.

It's the patience required to stay in a relationship with someone who keeps disappointing you.

God has been patient with you far longer than you deserve, which is the ground by which you show patience to somebody else who doesn't deserve.

Paul does something unexpected at the end in verse 14.

He says, Above all of them, put on love.

Not as the first item, but as the belt that holds the whole outfit together.

Every virtue on this rack is love expressing itself in a specific situation.

Forgiveness is love's most demanding one.

Look at what it says in verse 13 again.

Bearing with one another, and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other.

As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Forgiven people, forgive people.

Not because it feels good, but because they cannot forget what they have been given.

The question is not whether you're gonna need to forgive, it's whether you've built a rhythm for doing it.

Let me give you some application.

I want to walk you through a little daily rhythm to help you with forgiveness.

The first thing is this every morning, choose your clothes.

Choose your clothes.

What am I gonna put on today?

You do anyway, whenever you're in your closet, make that the thing you ask.

Take that 30 seconds and just stop.

God, who do you want me to forgive today?

How about even saying this?

God, who do you want me to pre-forgive today?

You know you got that meeting at 9 o'clock and you know they're gonna annoy you.

God, who do I need to pre-forgive today?

You know you're gonna drive in traffic and you know it's gonna be on.

Who do I need to pre-forgive today?

Make that choice.

Stop.

Just spend some time making the decision.

What clothes am I going to put on today?

Number two, real time.

Address it while it's small.

Address it while it's small.

When you feel the bruise forming, deal with it before it settles.

That means one of two things.

Either release it internally, make a decision, a conscious verbal decision in your own head.

I choose to let this go.

I'm not gonna pick this up.

Or you address it with the person.

And not every offense requires a conversation, but some do, and the ones that do get worse the longer that you wait.

So the goal is simple.

Process it.

Don't accumulate it.

Don't allow that bruise to turn into an open wound.

That pile that you have right now, it didn't build in one day.

It built because Tuesdays, small punches, got added to Mondays and then Wednesdays, and nobody dealt with it.

So deal with it in the moment.

Deal with it real time.

Last thing is this in the evening.

Clear the cache.

Clear the cash.

You ever had your situation with your phone and you got so many apps open and so many things going, or your computer where it just kind of wigs out and doesn't work, and you have to basically reset the entire phone.

You turn it off and you turn it back on.

And what does that do?

It clears the cache, it gets all that stuff out, it allows you to start fresh.

Folks, what some of you need to do is before you go to bed, you need to lay in bed and say, God, what where was I offended today?

Who do I need to forgive?

What do I need to let go?

It keeps you from allowing today's frustrations to become tomorrow's resentment.

Tomorrow morning it's gonna be 7 a.m.

again.

Your spouse is gonna say something, the coworker's gonna do that thing, somebody's gonna leave the dishes in the sink and you're gonna stand in front of two racks.

You gotta choose to put these things on, or you're gonna choose to put these things on.

The reason we can choose this is because verse 13 says, As the Lord has forgiven you, God looked at every wrong that you've ever done, not the small stuff, the real stuff.

And instead of demanding payment, he absorbed it himself.

Palm Sunday is the greatest example of all when Jesus headed into this week, knowing what was going to be at the end of the week, when he would be crucified for our sins, pre-decided to forgive us the very ones whose debt he would be taking on himself.

And because of that, because of that, we have the opportunity to do relationships differently.

Would you bow your heads and would you close your eyes with me?

Many of you know the truths that I've talked about today.

The problem is you just stopped living them.

You went from rack one back to rack one, you've been getting dressed for it from a long time.

But it's time to you to start changing clothes.

Would you make a commitment today?

You're a believer in Jesus, you have the Holy Spirit of God living in you.

Choose wisely.

Some of you are exhausted, you've gone to rack two, but by dinner you're back at rack one.

Let me just tell you this: you're just normal.

It's a sign that you're fighting for something real, so just keep going.

Others of you aren't sure this is even real for you.

You're carrying guilt, maybe you're carrying shame.

You're wondering if you qualify, and you do the same forgiveness that was you were struggling to extend to that person who hurt you.

God extended that same forgiveness to you.

He did it by dying a sacrificial death on a cross.

He rose from the dead, defeating the power of sin and the power of death, and he invites you to receive him as your Lord and as your Savior.

In just a moment, we're all gonna stand up.

We're gonna have folks at the bottom of the steps and the bottom, in the front of the church.

If you're here today and you've never received Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you've never experienced forgiveness.

Would you come forward?

Let us talk to you about that, pray a prayer with you that you can leave here today knowing you have a relationship with Jesus.

Others, if you need to come and join United City Church, we are not a perfect church, but we are trying really hard to be a community that forgives quickly and practices it daily.

We absolutely fail at this.

But we want to be better.

We're a people committed to confront and to encourage, to walk alongside of each other.

You're gonna hear more about groups.

This is one of the ways that you can do that.

God's calling you to be a part of a church like this through your membership.

Would you come and join officially here at United City Church?

Others need to be baptized like these four that we saw.

Would you come and would you let us help you take your next step?

Others of you need prayer today.

And this is hard stuff, but there's so much joy on the other side of heart.

When we walk with the God who loves us and cares for us and is near us.

If you need prayer today for any need, you need prayer today to walk through any specific situation.

We want to come alongside of you and pray with you.

Father, I pray you'd move in these moments we have left.

Thank you.

Thank you in Jesus' name that we are not by ourselves.

But instead, Father, you are in and over all of these situations.

Guide and lead us as we respond to you.

It's in the powerful name of Jesus that I pray.

Thank you so much for joining us this morning.

We can't wait to see you next week for any of our services at 8 30, 10, 11 30, or Espignol at 1 o'clock.