More Than You Know | Pastor Chris Kouba

Moms, we love you.

You're the best.

There's no question about it.

The world would not work without moms.

All right.

There's just no way around it.

We are so thankful and we hope that you know how much here at United City Church.

We value you.

We appreciate you.

We love you.

We support you.

And we want to make sure today you get honored.

All right.

I don't know what your family has, but we have some photo booths out in the lobby that we want to make sure you take advantage of.

We have a coffee bar that is just for the moms.

Dad's last year crashed the coffee bar, all right?

It's for the moms, all right?

So just know we've got that special for you.

We've got an opportunity for your kids to begin to write you notes and letters as well.

But we also know maybe some of you, uh, your mom isn't here today.

They're maybe in a different place, in a different state, whatever it may be.

We've got an opportunity for you to write a letter to your mom expressing your appreciation.

You just uh address it and we will mail it off for you, and they'll get it this week.

We just want you to know you are loved.

Let's give it up for them one more time, mom.

You can go ahead and grab a seat.

Genesis chapter two.

Genesis chapter two is where we're gonna hang out a little bit today.

It's pretty interesting.

You know, you think about it.

Uh, mothers, uh, it's the only job where the best, the better you do at it, the less you're needed.

Think about that.

Like if you're really good at being a mom, then they don't need you as much anymore.

It's like you're working yourself out of a job from the very get-go.

Now I know some of you that may have adult children living in your house, like, well, it didn't work in a dog house, all right?

I want them to grow up and get on out of here.

And that's maybe a different conversation, but uh, it is amazing just how much God has allowed you to have the influence uh that you do.

And what I want to do is speak to you and speak to parents today.

You know, we're walking through a series in the book of Song of Solomon.

We're walking verse by verse through the book of Song of Solomon, which is a ver a book that talks about dating and relationships.

And uh last week we talked about the wedding and what the wedding teaches us about marriage and what we can learn about all of that.

And so in our calendar, uh, if we were to continue verse by verse through the book of Song of Solomon, this week is Song of Solomon chapter four, which is the wedding night.

But it's also Mother's Day, and I'm not an idiot, all right?

So we're so we're taking a break for one week.

Uh, we'll pick that back up next week.

And I just want to give a message specifically to moms and to parents that are in the room.

I've got two principles that I want to share with you today.

Uh, and then what I want to do is I want to show you uh from a personal standpoint what this looks like in a practical way through a panel to give you some tools and some handles on how to actually apply these two principles.

The first principle is this the greatest gift you can give your kids is a great marriage.

The greatest gift that you can give your kids is a great marriage.

Uh most moms I know would do anything for their kids.

They sacrifice sleep for their kids, they make immense sacrifices personally, all for their kids.

They do everything in their power in order to make sure that their kids have a leg up, their kids have all the advantages that they need.

And many times what happens is that you spend so much time pouring yourself out for your spouse that then, excuse me, you're pouring yourself out for your kids that you have very little left over for your spouse.

And so you hear this idea that your marriage is supposed to be foremost and primary, and you you're you're maybe one of the folks that just dedicated your kids and you're barely sleeping, and you're thinking, How in the world am I supposed to do that?

And it feels as though investing and prioritizing your marriage is actually counter to being a good parent.

What I want to show you though is that the actually the opposite is true.

If you make your marriage the priority of your home, it's actually the greatest gift that you could ever give to your kids.

Genesis chapter 2, verse 24, here's what it says It says, Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

This is when the family unit was established, right here in Genesis chapter 2, verse 24.

Genesis 2:24

And what it's saying is that a man and a woman leave their family of origin, they come together and they become one flesh, meaning that is when the family unit is now established, not when they have kids.

Now, when they have kids down the road, that's a blessing and it's a wonderful thing.

The Bible tells us that children are a heritage from the Lord, but it also implies we're gonna see that at one point those kids are gonna leave.

And the marriage which the foundation was built on to begin with begins to remain.

This is so important for us to see because the Bible suggests that the marriage is the foundation upon which a healthy family exists.

Ephesians chapter 5, verses 31 and 32.

Ephesians 5:31

Let me give you the context.

The apostle Paul is writing and he's been going back and forth teaching about how to live out your faith into a marriage relationship.

It says stuff like husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, and it gives all these descriptions.

And then in verse 31 of Ephesians chapter 5, it says this.

Ephesians 5 · chapter mention

You recognize that?

He's quoting Genesis chapter 2, the origin of a family.

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

And then here's the next line.

He says, This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

What he's suggesting is this he's not just talking about marriage, he's talking about a gospel presentation that is happening every day in your living room.

You want to teach your kids about the faith, show them a great marriage at home.

That's the number one way that they can see that God is real.

Let me show you another passage, Psalm 127, verses 1 and then verse 3 and 4.

Psalms 127:1

It says, unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.

Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.

Let me translate what this means is that if you want to build something great, then you better make sure the Lord's in it.

Because it doesn't matter what you build, if God's not in it, it's just not gonna work.

But if God is in it, then it can be something that transcends generations.

Skip down to verse 3.

Here's what it says Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb, a reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth.

Let's talk about this.

Because it says there arrows, it doesn't say ornaments.

What do you do with an ornament?

You put it up somewhere, it's stationary, and you just look at it.

You just admire it.

Arrows, what do you do?

You load them, you pull them back, and they're meant to be shot out.

The idea is this is that the family unit, going back to Genesis 2.24, was established with a husband and a wife, and your kids are temporary guests in your established home.

And at one point, they're supposed to be launched out, and then the marriage continues.

And so, therefore, the greatest gift that you can give to your kids is to invest and to love their spouse.

Please hear me.

The question is not what your children are achieving, the question is where your kids are being aimed.

The culture of the home is set by the marriage that's the center of it.

Now, I recognize as I talk through this that some of you are here today, and your situation is different.

Maybe you uh find yourself as a single parent.

Maybe you find yourself uh in a situation to where you're having to deal with the loss of a loved one.

Maybe you've been doing this whole parenting thing all alone, you've got an absent spouse, and so therefore, you're just like, okay, great, here we go.

Another marriage series, another relationship series has nothing to do with me.

And I would simply tell you don't let the enemy speak that over you.

But instead, you recognize that God has a word for you.

He is a father to the fatherless, he's a defender of the widow, which means this whatever you think you've lost, because that other person either is not partnering with you or is not physically there, God can restore the years the locusts have eaten.

God can do mercy and grace in the midst of your life, and you are to be champion today.

You are not to be judged, you are to be celebrated today.

And I want you to know that while you may be trying to do everything that you can, Psalm 68 says that he puts us in family.

And so, therefore, as a result of that, as a result of that, you have the opportunity to continue to thrive, even if it may not look the exact way that we just described.

But I promise you, you can implement and you can apply this second principle, which is this the flame gets passed at the table, not the church.

The flame gets passed at the table, not the church.

So I want you just to think about this image of a flame of the faith that's being passed from one generation to the next.

And what I want to tell you is that while we at the church want to do everything that we can to come alongside of you, we never want to replace you.

In fact, I get the chance to meet with uh folks all the time whose kids have made decisions to give their lives to Jesus.

And before they're allowed to get baptized here at United City, we ask them to go through a new Christian's class.

As a part of that new Christian's class, one of the things that they do is they go up to the baptism area and I have a chance to meet with them.

And so I show them the logistics of the baptism and what that's all going to look like and explain all the details to it.

And then we send the kids off and I get an opportunity to be with just the parents.

We ask that at least one parent come with them to the uh parenting class.

And I look at those parents and I tell them this I believe that your child goes to the greatest church in all of the air, Northeast Houston and beyond.

I really do.

I think United City Church is amazing.

All right.

And I would tell you, not only do I think the church is amazing, I would tell you the kids' ministry is especially amazing.

Because every single time that your kid goes and sits under our care, we're gonna make sure that they hear God's word spoken to them and over them.

And in fact, put us to the test.

When you get in the car on the way home, ask your kid what they learned and see if they have something they would tell us.

All right.

And what I would tell you is I think it'll be very hard for you to find that they don't know.

Why?

Because we take it seriously.

We train our folks.

We want to make sure that we do everything we can to pour God's word into them.

That being said, I tell the parents every time we do not want to replace you as the spiritual champions of your home.

We believe that God has designed this for us to partner with you, not to replace you.

And so, therefore, we see you.

You're the primary person in their life who's gonna be the spiritual influence.

And so let us come alongside of you to support you and to cheer you on.

Moms, I want you to hear me today.

I hope this is freeing for you in every way.

You don't have to be your kid's pastor.

You do not have to be the one who knows every theological answer about every single situation that comes up in life.

Okay?

You don't even have to be a perfect parent, you just have to be a real parent.

Because can I tell you what kids can tell is whenever they have a mom who is fake compared to a mom who is real.

You have the opportunity to let your kids see a faith that is genuine and that is real to you.

Deuteronomy chapter 6 walks us through the model in verses 4 and 5.

Deuteronomy 6 · chapter mention

This is called the Shema.

In fact, if you were to go over to Israel, what you would see is that you see some of the Jewish folks with little bitty uh boxes on their head, tied to their head.

It's the Shema being right over their head, and they're literally beginning to pray these words that says this Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.

What is this trying to say?

This is trying to suggest that God must be the centerpiece of all of your life, and as an extension of that being the primary reality, it goes on to say in verse six, it says, And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise.

Meaning this, it's not a program, it's not a posture, it's faith passed down in the ordinary moments of an ordinary home.

Kids are remarkably perceptive about whether their mom is somebody who believes, or they have a mom who's somebody who performs.

And when faith is genuine, it makes deposits into your children's lives that go incredibly deep.

Research consistently shows that the single greatest predictor of whether a child holds on to faith into adulthood is whether they had at least one adult in their life, almost always a parent, who modeled daily authentic faith.

Not perfect faith, authentic faith.

This is great news for every mom in this room because you don't have to be perfect, you just have to be real.

What does this look like?

It means praying out loud with your kids when you don't know what to do.

It means using the dinner table as a place that you begin to talk about all of life as well as spiritual things.

You're probably doing this a lot more than you even give yourself credit.

And it is working even when it feels like it is not.

And now I'm getting to watch it in my own family.

Uh, and so what I want to do as a practical way of implementing these principles is I want to invite three people up on stage.

Hillary, my wife, would you come on up here?

Kinsey, my daughter, graduating here in just a few weeks, and then my mom, this is Rhonda, Kinsey, and Hillary Kuba.

Would you give them a hand as they make their way up here on stage?

This is certainly pretty exciting uh to have all of you here on stage as I was thinking through how to implement this rather than me tell you a bunch of things that I think.

Uh I thought it would be best for you to hear from uh Ground Zero.

These are folks that are living it, that are playing this out, that literally have modeled this in every single way.

Uh so, mom, you are where you're the where this whole thing starts.

Um, Hillary, you are carrying it forward in real time.

Kinsey, you're the one receiving it right now.

Before we jump into the questions, is there anything any of you want to say about what it feels like just to sit next to each other right now?

Um well, I'll just I'll just start off with saying it.

Can you hear?

I don't know, turn the power.

Um I'll just start off with saying I think it's just um a really unique privilege to be able to sit next to two amazing women who have really shaped me into the person that I am today.

Um and I know not everyone gets to have a great relationship with their mom or with their grandma.

Um, but I just think it's such a unique thing, and I'm really grateful for to be able to have such a great relationship with both of y'all and to have two people who really model their faith and um have really helped me in my own walk with the Lord.

So that's good.

Anything?

I just feel very hump, very humbled and blessed and to be on this panel with these these two.

It's good.

Happy Mother's Day to us.

Yes.

This would he owes us a lot.

All right, sweet.

Mom, uh, I grew up in a home where faith just kind of felt normal.

It wasn't a performance, it wasn't forced, it was kind of just the air we breathed.

Um, I'm the oldest of four, and and all of us would say that is the case.

And you made raising us and having a home where faith was normal look effortless.

I'm sure being on this side of it, that it probably wasn't.

What were some things happening behind the scenes to kind of create that culture that we grew up in?

Well, before your dad and I got married, one of the things that we talked about was we wanted our kids actively involved in church.

Uh, that was just an expectation we had going into that.

That's all I ever knew growing up.

Uh, was very involved.

And um, so we made that happen Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, all the things with church.

Our kids were there and they were a part of that.

And it was awesome because um we were able to, you know, have conversations with our kids about okay, what did you learn this morning in Bible study?

You know, talk to them about their salvation.

It was just a natural thing.

And it got to a point where there was a little more challenging situations, and we had the conversation.

You know, you're called to be different, you're called to be set apart, you're called to be a light in a dark world.

Many times they didn't want to hear that.

Um, but I said as a family, that's what our calling is, is to be set apart.

And so um we, you know, we really worked with that and we were committed to that.

And that just um kind of was just a natural part of our daily family life.

Yeah.

Um, Hillary, you obviously um you you've established now with with our family, it feels very similar to the one that I grew up in, but you obviously didn't grow up in this family.

You grew up in another family.

I mentioned before, I've got the best mother-in-law in the world, she's amazing.

You came from a great, great, incredible parents.

Uh, where did that come from for you to where faith was just normal in the home?

Well, I'm so thankful to also have an incredible family.

My grandparents, my parents just always instilled uh just what it means to believe in Jesus and have trust him as your personal savior.

And going to church Wednesdays, Sundays, anytime it was open was always something we were at.

It was never uh Chris has said this before, it's a Saturday night decision, but we didn't wake up and think, are we gonna actually go today?

Maybe if I don't set my alarm, I won't have to go.

But it was every Sunday we just knew we were going, rain shine didn't matter.

So I appreciated that because then when we got older, it was just already ingrained and instilled in us, and we've taught our kids that too.

Like it's we just go to church.

That's what our family does.

It's not because of his job, but we are church members.

We want to go learn about Jesus, and I just appreciate knowing that and seeing that lived out in my own family and just making that be a part of everyday life that's normal.

It's good.

Kinzie, you got two women sitting next to you, shaped you in different ways.

One's your mom, one's your grandmother.

What is something specific that each of them has deposited in you that you carry around each day?

I think one thing that both of y'all have done really well is just kind of showing me what hospitality looks like and to like truly um just be a hospitable person, especially in our own house.

Like we the cookie jar is always full, there's always muffins, we have so much food in my house.

And it's always just um a place where people feel welcome to come.

And then I think same with you, Mimi, like anytime the family has hung out, it's never been a question where, oh, you know, we could always spend the night at Mimi's if we wanted to, or we can always just go whenever we need to.

And it's not something that I have to be like, oh Mimi, hey, is it okay if I come?

It's always it's like I would just pack a bag anyways, like and just expect to stay over.

Um, and then I think for you specifically, mom, I've noticed a lot of service, and especially with that your heart posture, um, the way that you serve in like the kids' ministry and just kind of serve me and my siblings and like dad, like it's it's something you don't do out of obligation.

Like I can see your heart posture behind it, and I see the way that you feel a calling to obey the Lord in that way, and so it's not something you're just kind of like, oh well, as a pastor's wife, I should probably serve, or as a mother, I should probably make my kids dinner.

Like, it's something you genuinely do.

Um something you genuinely do out of just like a love and just kind of um a desire to serve the Lord in that way.

And then I think for you, Mimi, um, you're just a very empathetic person, and it's something that I've noticed for myself and I've noticed for other family members that you don't hide your affection for people.

And it's something that I feel like a lot of people kind of will try and stray away from, but especially in our family, it is so evident that you deeply love every single person and you are so involved and invested in every person's life, and you're literally everyone's biggest cheerleader.

And I think that's something that has come from the Lord because not everyone is able to implement that, but you implement it really well in our family.

That made me grab a Kleenex.

Good.

I'm on crowds at a commercial, so we got Kleenexes up here, all right.

Hillary, I want to ask you something.

I genuinely believe one of your greatest gifts.

You are so steady.

Um, you you don't get too high, you don't get too low, you're not drama at all, which is so appreciative, especially with our family, with the stage of life that we're in.

It's almost like a superpower that you've got.

Uh, where does that come from?

How does that develop?

Can you walk us through what does that look like for you just to have that steadiness that kind of keeps all of the chaos calm?

Well, um I I am uh that is my personality.

It's not, I don't like conflict at all.

But um something that I did used to do that is not good is just internalize it and try to keep it inside, make everything seem like it was fine on the outside, and used to have really bad migraines, I believe, as a result of that, of just trying to keep it all in.

And over time I've just learned to really give those things over to the Lord.

And I think I used to just think, oh, they're trivial, it's not a big deal.

You know, I'm worried about something I have to do coming up or something the kids have going on.

And I just think that's not that big a deal.

It's fine, we'll get through it.

But um, it's something that I have tried to pass down to the kids just whenever we're having conversations, staying up late and getting to hear about their day or whatever.

But to be able to point them to God as well and just say, Have you have you prayed about this?

What is God leading you towards in this decision, especially as they've gotten older and we're trying to launch them out and just teach them to live on their own, but really teach them to go to God and their problems and their just little things that come up, but that they would seek him first and all their decisions.

Um that's good.

Well, I'm gonna ask you something about Hillary.

You didn't raise her uh, but you've known her a very long time.

Um what have you watched her do as a mom that is genuinely impressive?

Well, I knew from the time that she was going to marry you, she had uh you know it was gonna be tough being in part of ministry, but from the get-go, she has always been your champion.

Uh she's been your supporter, your cheerleader in ministry.

Started having your children, and she is their biggest supporter, their biggest cheerleader.

She makes each one of them feel like they're the only one.

And her calendar is insane.

I can't even begin to fathom how she has her calendar.

And um, she just that's just a gift for her, and just um just that supporter and with the family.

And I'm just amazed at that.

Hilary, how many calendars do you have?

I think 25, 30, I'm not really sure, but all the kids have their own.

There's some that Chris needs to see, some that they need to see, and there's so many colors.

It's wild.

If it's not on the calendar, it's not happening.

Yeah, for sure.

Mom, speak to this uh about balance.

Uh you juggled four active kids.

We were pretty spread out.

Uh, you were a high school principal at Deer Park High School for 13 years, and then uh went into upper administration after that, and have always worked forever, and you've been very successful, have had multiple promotions throughout the time, but you also were very active at the church and then you were very active in the community.

In my view, you made it look easy.

Uh, but I know that there's probably a lot to that.

Like, I'm sure it was harder than I imagined.

How did you keep balance while doing all of the things that you had to do?

Balance.

That's interesting.

I'm sure your dad would disagree that it would be balanced.

Um when I first was talking, you know, Lord, what what is it that you want me to do?

I I really thought he was going to take me overseas.

I was gonna be on the mission field uh overseas, and I just thought that's what I was gonna do.

And then my life just took a different, different route.

And I went into education.

And the first time I stepped into my classroom with my students, the Lord impressed on me that this is your mission field.

And so being in education and being a part of all the different roles that I played, I knew that if this is where God wanted me, then this He was going to sustain me, He was gonna give me what I needed.

Another part of that, just balance for me, I have to get up early in the morning before everyone else, and I have to have my time alone with the Lord.

It is critical for me because that is time I can get into the word.

I can pray for my husband, pray for my kids, pray for the day.

Um, I know that if I don't have my spiritual walk in check, it's not a good thing for the family.

And so I know that those things were really critical uh as I, you know, walk through having a job and having a family.

Those two things were critical.

The other piece was your dad.

I could absolutely not have done all the things that I did without my husband's help.

There would be nights that I would go, excuse me, I've got this, this, this, and this, and the kids have to be here, here, here, and here.

And it was just divide and conquer.

But he was always there.

Uh, he was there when the days weren't great, and he picked up the pieces, and he was there when we had, you know, there was success.

And I just, you know, that's where that balance came in.

And I'm glad you thought it was easy.

Yeah, no, I mean, I did seriously.

It was uh it it felt seamless.

And I mean again, my mom was she was really high up in in the district and did a lot of things, but I think uh, you know, I don't remember her not being at stuff.

I don't remember any of those types of things that I'm sure maybe felt like a tension in that moment.

I remember vividly the image of walking down the stairs and seeing my mom at the kitchen table, at the head of the kitchen table, with this very flowery Bible cover and a Bible that was well worn and written.

And then as I would go to school, she would tell me about what it is that she's praying for, quoting verses that she had read that morning.

So it was just almost like this covering before the day started.

So, in some sense, I would just challenge and encourage you.

If you're here today and you feel like you're just trying to survive, one, that's okay.

Like, don't don't don't beat yourself up for that.

But also, like she said, spend the time with the Lord because the Lord it seems like by doing that, I don't have the time to do it.

The reality is you don't have time not to.

You're so busy, you you've gotta do this, and by doing it, you're gonna create a a legacy and a foundation that I think you're gonna allow your kids to walk in, and they're not gonna remember all the things that may you you may find yourself feeling guilty for.

Uh they're gonna remember those deep deposits that are that are there.

Hillary, this is a loaded question to follow up on.

Uh, how do you actually keep the marriage at the center when the kids are loud, the calendar is full, the needs are constant.

We have four teenagers, one that just graduate finished their first year at school, one's about to graduate high school, and then two basically about to be in high school as well with them.

What does this look like practically in our house for our marriage to not take a big back seat?

It has to be on the calendar, pretty much.

Um we we Chris has mentioned this before that we have a standing Friday lunch date, and for the longest time that just was the day that he had most free, and the kids were in school, so that was easy for us.

And lunches um were cheaper than dinners.

And so a lot of times we would do that.

Even when they were really little though, we would sometimes do Thursday nights just at home.

And just we knew in our minds that I was gonna feed the kids early.

They may or may not be in bed, but they we would eat together separately.

We also did something called couch time when they were really little, and we'd put them on a blanket on the floor and just even if it was 15 minutes.

But when Chris would get home and we would just sit on the couch and talk and about our day, and the kids just saw us together and saw like we're the ones having this conversation, we'll talk to you in a minute, but this is mom and dad time, and they just could see those boundaries early on that we are the original family unit, we have each other's back, we're on the same team, and we love you, but um you're not our priority at the moment.

And um so it just has definitely taken some intentionality and just making sure that we're speaking well of each other when we're not together, and you know, you hear of locker room talk with guys or just girls that want to just gang up and drag their husbands through the mud, but I just think that that's a huge thing to always speak well of your spouse.

And um so that's good.

Well, let me ask you the same question next year, right?

50 years?

Yes.

Next year, which is pretty exciting, pretty cool by itself.

How did you and how how did you and how do you prioritize your marriage so that the best is even after the kids are gone?

All right, your dad and I married young, and uh two years after we married, we started having children, and um you you are there's an 11-year gap between you and your youngest.

So it seemed like we had kids all the time.

And but they were our family.

That was our family, that was our life.

That's what we did, and um, we shared in that responsibility, and so it was just a part of what we did.

And we, you know, we took time, but not as as diligently as we should have for each other.

Um, but we had those seasons of life that, you know, different seasons, hard seasons, heartbreak seasons.

And you know, I can't imagine going through that with anybody but Keith, because he was always the rock, he was always the protector for our family.

And so we, you know, we would do things as a family, and that's what I think really enriched our lives.

And now we're in a new season of life.

Um, me recently retired, he's getting ready to retire and a lot of transitions, just a lot of transitions, and uh that's been exciting because we love being with our family, we love being with our grandkids, and so really looking forward to what's ahead.

But one of the things that is really helped our marriage is we laugh a lot.

Um, he tends to make me laugh when I don't want to laugh, and then he's taught me how to not take myself so seriously, and so that's that's been a fun part.

And then, like I said, the days ahead we're looking forward to, and we don't know what it holds.

So be ready.

That's good.

I I mentioned earlier that you know, motherhood is an interesting thing because you're kind of working yourself out of a job.

Uh, I'm in a season where I'm learning a ton from watching my parents now, right?

Uh, I'm still still learning, right?

I'm still watching and seeing, and just their desire to be together and their desire to have fun and live life together, I think is something that is is life goals, right?

And it's something that I think we are always teaching through our modeling in every way, and which is pretty exciting.

Kenzie, as you're hearing this, what have you watched your mom and your grandmother do in their marriage and their parenting that you say, I want to, I want to do that one day?

Well, I think kind of going back to what you're saying even at the beginning of your sermon, like y'all both individually love on your spouses so well.

And it is like encouraging to me because being, I mean, I'm not necessarily about to get married, but it is something that's like I hope not.

Um it's something that's kind of coming up in my future and something that I want to think about.

And so um just seeing the way that y'all do y'all's marriages individually, it's kind of in the back of my mind too, where whenever I'm looking at someone and I I just kind of want to have a marriage similar to y'all's and I want to find someone who um I'll be able to invest in and they'll be able to invest in me and so that hopefully my family one day will be able to grow up in a family similar to the one I've grown up in.

Um, because I am really grateful for the one I've grown up in, and especially talking to uh other friends.

I know it's not one that everyone has grown up in, and I think my experience is really unique, but I want that to be something that's implemented for my future family.

Um, and I think it's just uh really incredible to see the way that y'all both intentionally invest in each other first before the kids.

Um I mean, you say this a lot too, Dad.

Like you'll say it, but at the same time, I can see it in y'all's marriage that y'all truly love each other and that you are putting each other first before the family.

And I don't ever feel like left out because of that.

I always just I I see it as something that I want to model and um I really appreciate it.

Last question I want all three of you to answer.

We'll give you the last word, Kinzie.

Um if you could give every mom in this room one practical thing to do, a word of advice, small enough to actually do it this week, what would it be?

I would say just teach your kids to live out your faith in everyday situations, just reminding them like, let's pray about this.

This seems really frustrating for you.

I know you really wanted that toy, or you really wanted to hang out with that friend, but just to take it to God, say the Lord, help me be a better friend, or whatever it may be, but just to always consistently think of the Lord and how you can bring situations to Him to help you in your day and just your marriage, relationships, all of that.

Mine would be be the prayer warrior for your family, for your husband, for your children, for your grandchildren.

Um, just be on your knees and you know, just praying for them.

I had a mom and I had a grandfather that they were our prayer warriors for our family.

And that's what I would encourage you to do.

I would say be intentional with your conversations and just kind of when you're implanting faith into those conversations, because especially um with the season of life that I've been in being a senior, like I had to pick what college I was going to, pick my major.

And I think one thing that really helped me throughout that was talking to both of y'all, and even you not even being like, Hey, I think God's telling you this, like you were just kind of there being like, Hey, have you talked to the Lord about this?

Is this something that you feel like the Lord is calling you to?

And even though I'm thinking about everything so realistically at the same time, uh by y'all saying that, I would kind of take a step back and be like, okay, wait, this school seems awesome, but is this where the Lord is calling me to?

Is this where my new ministry field is gonna be?

Um, and this is something that I would be able to find godly community at, like just kind of thinking about uh things from a biblical standpoint, and I think that really started from y'all just implementing, hey, have you thought about this?

Hey, this is really stressing me out.

What is the Lord saying about this?

So I think just being really intentional with placing faith in conversations, it doesn't have to be a whole gospel talk where you're like just this whole thing.

It can just be a simple little, hey, have you prayed about it?

Have you talked to the Lord about this?

What is the Lord saying about it?

And it doesn't have to be something where I answer right away.

But I think by just saying that I then am going back by myself and with the Lord, and I'm just kind of like, okay, I have been thinking about this real realistically, but Lord, what is your will for me in this situation?

Really, really good.

Let's give this other panel a hand and celebrate them.

Thank you for the coming.

Let's uh let's pray together.

Let's pray together.

Father, we do come before you and we thank you, Lord.

We speak Jesus over every situation that's in this room today.

We speak Jesus over the moms that are here today.

I pray, God, that they would live a life where they get to be childs of God and experience the love that you have, and Lord, out of that love, may they pour that out to their kids.

We speak Jesus, Lord, over the marriages in this room, that you would strengthen them, that you would allow them to be the model that you intended them to be, not only to their families, but to a lost world of what it looks like, to prioritize you in all things.

We speak Jesus over those that are hurting today, over the ones where today is a hard day, it's a difficult time.

Maybe they're walking through something personally that is challenging, feels overwhelming.

We speak Jesus over that, not like it's some kind of magical phrase, but it's a declaration of allegiance that we want to align ourselves with what you want.

As Kinsey told us, Lord, we want to we want to pray for your will to be done, for your kingdom come.

God, we want what you want, because we know that what you want is best.

And so, Father, whether we have been acknowledging that, whether we've slowed down long enough to ask, Lord, we do so right now.

God, would you speak to us?

You guide us.

Lord, may we not walk in judgment but in grace.

Lord, may we walk in obedience that leads to joy.

May we have peace that passes all our seeds.

The Bible is very clear that you were created by him.

He designed you to have a relationship with him.

But because of the sin that you were born with, and the sin that you commit, things are broken.

We live in a broken world that has broken relationships, that has sickness and disease, but it also has separation from us and our God, our Creator.

But God the Father looked at our situation and didn't just say, try harder, do more, keep going.

He sent his son, Jesus, on a rescue mission for you.

He died on a cross, taking your sin upon himself, not because he deserved it, because you did.

He died on that cross, he rose from the dead three days later, he defeated the power of sin and the power of death, and now invites you to receive as your personal Lord and Savior.

You get to have all of your sins forgiven.

You get to experience all of his righteousness, and you get to be called judge.

If you've never done that, what I want to ask you to do today is to give your life to Jesus.

Just a moment, we're all gonna stand.

That's gonna be your cue.

To just step out from where you are, to come forward.

We'll have our team at the front of the church, we'll have our folks at the bottom of these aisles.

Just go to the nearest person and just simply say, I want to be a child of God today.

Others of you need to come and join United City Church.

God is leading you to make this your church.

He says he puts the wandering in family.

God's wanting you to make this your family would you come today.

By your coming, you're gonna lead the way.

Encourage and inspire others need to respond as well.

Maybe others need to be baptized like this student that we saw earlier.

It's his next step of obedience.

God's leading you to make that choice today.

Would you come forward?

Maybe others.

Maybe you need prayer.

Today's a hard day.

I don't want you to do it alone.

Come and let us pray with you.

Maybe you have prayer because you have some kind of need.

Maybe you have something that is pressing on you, something that feels heavy, something that feels weighty.

Don't walk that alone.

Let us come alongside and pray with you.

Lift up your need before a Father who not only hears but cares.

And who loves to hear from his children.

Father, I pray that you would move in these moments we have left.

Lead people to make life-changing decisions for you.

Father, for those who need prayer, I pray that today they would receive the comfort of the Holy Spirit as we lift up our cries to you.

Those that need to respond to you, to be baptized, to join this church, Lord, I pray that you would walk with move with you.

And that God, you would be made much of today.

It's in the name of Jesus that I pray.

Amen.

Man, what an amazing time that we had today.

Hey, if you know of someone that needs to hear this message, we'd love for you to share that on socials.

We'd love for you to actually go and check out our socials so you can stay up to date on everything happening in the life of United City.

And if you need to take the next step, we'd love to help you do that as well.

Love you guys so much, and we'll see you next week.