Clean or Uncaught | Pastor Chris Kouba

Hey, grab your Bibles, open them up with me to 2nd Samuel chapter 11.

2nd Samuel chapter 11.

If you are one of our kindergartners, one of our kids that got their Bibles last week and you were in Big Church One, welcome.

And you can open up your Bibles to 428.

All right.

428 is where it is for all of you kindergartners who got your uh Bibles last week.

And if you would grab your journals as well for me, if you would.

If you do not have a journal, want more journal, would you raise your hands, keep it up?

We'll make sure that our team can get these to you here in just a moment.

Open them up to page 16 is where we're going to be.

Page 16 in your journals.

We're encouraging you to take notes all throughout this series that we've been going through because we are using these notes in the big room to be able to have discussions in all of our smaller rooms that happen all over the place.

We have groups that meet in every single age group, and we are going through this curriculum together.

All the church, and so I want to encourage you to make sure that you're taking notes and are able to participate in that.

And if you've not part of a group, this is a perfect opportunity for you to jump into one.

Let me mention that as well.

2 Samuel chapter 11.

2 Samuel 11 · chapter mention

Elizabeth Holmes was 19 when she dropped out of Stanford to start a company called Thoranos.

Thoranos.

It's a company that had an amazing promise.

The idea was this that with just one prick of your finger, one drop of blood, you could then put that drop of blood into a machine.

It would run all of these various tests and it could tell you everything going on inside of you.

I'm getting my blood drawn this week.

This would have been a great thing because it said I've got to go and do a vial, I've got to do a big needle, and I've got to wait a couple of days to go to the lab and get all of the results back.

And it's only going to be some of the things, not all of the things.

The promise of Thuranos, though, was that it could do all of those things.

And if it was going to come through on its promise, it was literally going to change medicine.

And what you saw was that Elizabeth Holmes not only sold a product, she also sold an image.

She started to wear black turtlenecks everywhere that she went.

She started to make comments about how she was going to change the world.

People started comparing her to Steve Jobs, and she never corrected them when they did.

Here she was selling this amazing company that ended up getting investors that invested in it to the tune of$9 billion.

$9 billion.

A national drugstore grabbed their machines, they put them in every one of their stores.

Real people went into real stores, put their real blood into this machine, and got some results back.

But here's the thing that nobody knew.

It didn't work.

It never worked.

And every time she got asked about it, she would say it's inside her trading secrets.

I'm not allowed to tell you what the secret is to make this machine work.

And in 2022, in January, she was convicted of four counts of fraud.

And then in November of that same year, she was sentenced to 11 years in prison, which she is currently serving just up the road in Bryan, Texas, today.

Now here's the thing: the machine, it was a real machine.

The investors, the production, all the things that they did when she sold it, it was all real.

The investors that paid the money, all real.

The one thing, though, that wasn't real was the one thing the company said that they could do, which was to test your blood and get all the results from it.

Elizabeth Holmes did not go to prison because she could not build a machine.

Elizabeth Holmes went to prison because she kept selling the picture of it while she knew that it did not work.

And every day the gap between the picture and the truth got more expensive to close.

Why do I tell you this?

We're in week five of our King's Table series.

We've been looking at the leadership life of King David and specifically his relationships.

I've been telling all of you that all of you are leaders.

You're all a leader in some capacity, in some way, at a minimum, a leader of yourself.

And we've been looking and trying to see what David has can teach us about his relationships.

And this image that I've been presenting is of a table.

And that all of us have people around our table.

And whoever gets a seat at that table has influence on us, gets to speak into us, gets to guide and shape and direct us.

So the question ultimately is: who do you have around your table?

This morning, what I want to see is that the seat we're going to look at today is one where you get to choose who that's going to be.

And the choice you're going to make is going to be one of two people.

You're either going to find someone in that seat who can protect your image.

And if you choose that, you're going to ask certain questions of them.

Hey, how do I look?

How can I do this better?

How can I make sure that this looks more impressive?

Or the other person that you're going to have at that table is not someone who protects your image, but he's somebody who guards your integrity.

And when that's the case, you're going to ask a totally different set of questions.

Hey, how can I be around the wisest person that I possibly can so that I can be more wise?

How can I be around someone who's going to speak truth and honesty to me, even sometimes when it hurts?

Two different seats.

One affirms, the other anchors you.

I want you to take your journals out on page 16.

I want you to write down the bottom line for the message today, the main takeaway, which is this.

Leaders protect their integrity before they protect their image.

Leaders protect their integrity before they protect their image.

Make sure you hear what I didn't say.

I didn't say that integrity is perfection.

A person of integrity is still gonna sin.

The difference is not that that person never fails.

The difference is what a person of integrity does 90 seconds after he messes up.

That choice changes everything.

So this statement, if it's true that leaders protect their integrity before they protect their image, then the question that I want us to answer today is this how do I protect my integrity?

How do I guard and preserve my integrity?

I want to show you three things out of this chapter in 2 Samuel chapter 11.

2 Samuel 11 · chapter mention

As we begin, would you stand in the honor of the reading of God's word with me?

I want to read the first four verses.

David sent and inquired about the woman, and one said, Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Iliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?

So David sent messengers and took her, and she came to him, and he lay with her.

Now she had been purifying herself from her uncleanness.

Then she returned to her house.

You may be seated.

Three things that I want to tell you about how you can protect your integrity.

I want you to write these down.

Number one, be where you are supposed to be.

Be where you are supposed to be.

Back in ancient times, everybody knew the calendar.

Spring, it's fighting time.

The kings rally their people, rally their armies, and they're gonna go and they're gonna battle.

Yet in verse one, it says that Joab went, the servants went, all of Israel went, David stayed home.

I want you to see that David stayed home, and everything in his life changed in the next few verses.

Like verse one, don't miss it, is an accusation.

It's intentionally naming every single person who did what they were supposed to do, and then clearly mentioning at the end of the verse, but David didn't.

David remained in Jerusalem.

I want you to see that in verse one, David's not doing anything wrong per se.

He's just not where he's supposed to be, which allows verses two through four to happen.

You know, I've found that there are two different times in life whenever this can be very much a temptation for you.

One is whenever you're going through stressful times.

We all know what that's like, okay?

You're in a stressful situation, and so therefore, maybe there's a vice, maybe there's a sin, and you can run to that sin and use that as a way to escape the stress of all that you're dealing with.

But the other time, a time we don't nearly think about enough, is a time of blessing.

Not a time of great stress, but a time of great blessing.

That's what David was experiencing here.

Things were going really, really well for David.

Like militarily, he had been making victory after victory after victory after victory.

In fact, in 2 Samuel chapter 9, we even see that David has this heart of compassion, and he goes and takes one of the relatives of Saul, the one who was trying to kill him, Mephibosheth, and he invites him into his house.

2 Samuel 9 · chapter mention

So, like David is riding high in this moment.

And now he gets to chapter 11, and here's what happens: he starts to think that the rules don't apply to him.

Why?

Because things are going good, things are going really well.

This is the same guy, we talked about this two weeks ago, who remember he was running for his life from King Saul.

He then found himself in a cave with the king, a sword, and the king in a vulnerable position.

And what does this say?

Conviction overcame him, and he didn't kill Saul in that moment.

The same guy who experienced that conviction now is in a place where he no longer needs God.

And guess what?

He stopped hearing what God said.

He's just doing whatever he wants to do.

When he wants to do it, how he wants to do it.

And as a result of that, it leads to an epic fall one afternoon.

Look at how it actually happened.

Wrong time.

He stayed home when kings were supposed to go out to war.

Wrong place.

He's on the roof with nothing to do.

Wrong response.

He sees her, and instead of turning around, he sends somebody to find out who she is.

Only one of those three things is sin.

But look how fast it happens.

Like falling off the cliff happens real fast.

Look at the verbs that are used.

Verse 2, he saw.

Verse 3, he sent, he inquired.

Verse 4, he saw and he took.

There's no pause between those four verbs.

Why?

Because there was no pause in David.

He saw what he wanted and he went after.

This whole thing should have been over in verse 3.

He looks at her, he sees her, he inquires about her, and he gets word.

Hey, dude, she's somebody's daughter.

You know she's somebody's wife.

It's basically saying, dude, are you sure that she's married?

What are you doing?

That's essentially, and what does he do?

He just ignores it and he keeps it going.

Church family hear this.

It is easier to avoid temptation than it is to resist sin.

It is easier to avoid temptation than it is to resist sin.

If you're trying to make the decision in the moment, good luck.

Instead, the lesson for us is to make the decision 15 steps before we get in that situation.

We think this thing through and wonder, where am I supposed to be?

Am I where I'm supposed to be?

Because if not, it's just a gradual progression to all of a sudden you end up and you're having to make a tough decision in the middle of the moment when you've already lost all of your fight.

First Corinthians chapter 10, verse 12 and 13 says it like this: Therefore, let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.

1 Corinthians 10:12

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.

God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability.

But with the temptation, he will also provide the way of escape that you may be able to endure it.

Verse 12 reminds us that everyone has the potential to be David.

I don't know about you, my time alone with the Lord this week.

As I was studying and thinking through this passage, I began to read this and think, David, you're an idiot.

Like, how could you do this?

And it was like the Lord reminded me, you are 15 minutes away from screwing this whole thing up.

And by the way, so are you.

All of us are.

I tell it to our team all the time.

We are 15 minutes away from screwing this whole thing up.

We have an enemy who is persistent, who is patient, and who is personal.

He will wait you out.

And so therefore you must be vigilant.

Verse 13 reminds us that there is a way of escape, but it's always earlier than you want it to be.

Meaning this, it is back at the moment when you thought, I probably shouldn't be doing this, that's when you should stop, right there.

I tell us to my kids all the time: if you gotta ask, is this okay?

It's probably not okay.

All right.

When you feel that sense of conviction, that's your glowing light saying, Stop, don't do this, don't go there, don't walk down this road, don't open that door, don't go in that situation.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer put it this way: When we are tempted, God does not become hateful to us, He becomes forgotten to us.

That's why the command for the moment is not to stand and fight, it's to run.

You don't flirt with sin, you flee from it.

David got about four minutes of what he wants and a lifetime of misery to follow.

Let me just tell you something.

When you're standing up on that roof, you're not doing the math.

Nobody does.

Because if they did the math, they would say, This is not worth it.

And what God is calling us to do is to run the numbers.

I'm telling you, you're not gonna do it in that moment, but right now on a Sunday morning, when you're sitting here, ask this question.

If I play this out to its logical conclusion, do I want that?

And what hopefully you'll discover is that you realize, no, this is not at all what God wants from me.

And this isn't what I want from myself.

But when you make that choice in the moment, guess what?

You're not thinking about the math, you're not thinking about a month from now, you're not thinking about 10 years from now.

I've said this, shared this before.

I want to share it again for some of you.

It's a reminder for some of you, this may be uh a piece of advice that somebody gave to me that's really been helpful.

Um, I had a number of pastor buddies that had fallen and chosen to disqualify themselves both for ministry and in their family.

And so um I heard about this this list to make.

And so I decided to make this list.

For me, it's called What I Would Lose list.

That's what I call it.

I did a podcast episode on it, and you're I would love for you to take a listen to it.

I go into detail about coming to some of the stuff that I put on the list, but I'm at 35 things right now where literally I write out in detail what would happen if I chose to walk out of my marriage.

Walk outside of my marriage.

And I look at that list rather often for the sole purpose of literally trying to scare the hell out of me.

Like I want all the hell out.

All of it.

All of it.

And every single time it's a sobering reminder.

I lose my job, I lose my ministry, all of that.

I don't want to look at my kids and tell them what their dad did.

No one thinks about that on the roof.

I don't want to have to go through the shame of my girls questioning men because their dad wasn't trustworthy.

What I'm asking you to do is to count the numbers, run the math.

And what you will begin to discover is that God in his mercy wants to protect you from what you would choose on your own.

By in his kindness coming to you and saying, Hey man, you you you don't want to do that.

Go to war, go to battle, be where you're supposed to be.

Leaders protect their integrity before they protect their image, and it starts of being where you're supposed to be.

Now, let's be honest.

Problem is some of you are already already past that.

Like you've already messed up.

And I need you to hear this before we go one step further.

The question is never going to be if you're ever going to blow it.

You will blow it, I'm going to blow it, all of us will blow it.

The question about integrity is not just how do I avoid ever making a sin.

The question of integrity is what do I do after I've blown it?

How do I respond when I've messed up?

Which all of us can relate to.

And that's the second thing that I want you to write down today, which is this confess it before you have to cover it.

Confess it before you have to cover it.

Like instead of letting verses one through four be the wake-up call that it should have been, it's just a disaster the rest of the chapter.

Like it's just a total train wreck.

David goes into full cover-up mode from this point forward.

He comes up with three elaborate plans to fix the situation.

His first plan, he sends for Uriah, the husband, from battle, makes some small talk when he comes into town about Joab and the war, and then he tells him, Hey, why don't you go home and sleep with your wife tonight?

The problem is the plan doesn't go like it's supposed to, because uh Uriah, according to verse 9, sleeps at the door with the servants and never goes into his house.

So David has to run plan two.

His second plan, he confronts Uriah about it, and here's the answer that he gets in verse 11.

Uriah said to David, The Ark and Israel and Judah dwell in booths, and my Lord Joab and the servants of my Lord are camping in the open field.

Shall I then go to my house to eat and to drink and to lie with my wife?

As you live and as your soul lives, I will not do this thing.

Uriah isn't being difficult, he's being holy.

He's not gonna take comfort while his ark and his brothers are all sleeping in a field.

So here's David's plan.

He's gonna get them drunk, and what we find is that a drunk Uriah still has more integrity than a sober David.

David was driven by privilege.

Uriah was driven by principle.

So he goes to plan three.

Look at verse 14.

In the morning, David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it by the hand of Uriah.

In the letter he wrote, set Uriah in the forefront of the hardest fighting, and then draw back from him that he may be struck down and die.

Think about this.

Uriah was given a piece of paper that he's supposed to go carry over to the general, and you can only imagine what it would be like for him to ultimately realize that he was carrying his death wish.

Now, here's what's interesting to me.

You can you you wouldn't blame Uriah, who's this trusted official, for taking a quick peek at the battle plan, right?

Like on the way, just like, oh no, we're gonna be doing, you know, kind of looking at it.

Had he done so, it would have revealed that he was gonna basically be killed.

He never did that, which ultimately means this.

He walked right up to Joab and handed him a death certificate.

Think about what's now taking place.

Joab reads it, Joab does it, Joab never says a word.

And other men died in the assault because the plan needed a real battle to hide the death that it was actually written for.

I want you just to think about where we've come at this point.

Think about the cost.

He's now lost a loyal soldier in Uriah.

Other men have also died.

He lost a battle.

Joab's soul has been lost because David made the general a murderer and handed him leverage that he could hold over him for the rest of his life.

Think about the alternative.

If he confesses in verse 5, it's bad.

He loses his reputation.

But in comparison to what he ultimately lost by the end of the chapter, we see that it costs him a woman, a soldier, a general, a battle.

He paid 10 times the price to avoid having to pay the smaller bill.

We gotta stop for a second.

We gotta clarify one thing because somebody in this room has been a Uriah.

You've been the one who got used by a person who's trying to protect themselves.

You were loyal, and it ended up costing you.

And nobody ever said a word about it.

I want you to hear me.

I think it's so clear in this text.

God saw it.

God saw every bit of it.

In the same way that he wasn't with King David when he was up on that roof approving of what he was doing.

In the same way, the same God is not approving of what people have done to you.

He sees.

And ultimately, we must allow him to be the one who gets the vengeance.

The justice.

But we don't want to feel like we're all alone.

Proverbs 28, verse 13 says this.

Proverbs 28:13

Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper.

But he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.

I love reading the Proverbs because so often it has these sentences that are like this that have two different phrases and both are just packed with meaning.

I want you to notice which side of the equation the mercy shows up on.

It's on the side of confession.

It's not on the side of concealing.

Which means we need to ask this question.

What is it costing you right now to keep whatever it is that you're keeping quiet?

Like, who else are you gonna have to pull in and to keep it going?

What is it costing you every month, next month, and every month after to be able to hold this in?

We need to know this that your sin is not what takes you out.

So often it's the cover-up that takes you out.

Sin will always take you further than you ever wanted to go.

It will always keep you longer than you ever wanted to stay, it will always cost you much more than you ever wanted to pay.

Leaders protect their integrity before they protect their image.

Here's what it's interesting.

If you read the chapter, everything David planned works.

And then he goes and gives Bathsheba.

Look at what the scripture says in verse 27.

And when the morning was over, David sent and brought her to his house, and she became his wife and born.

Like his images of hell.

No one's questioning stuff.

No one's wondering about the timeline.

They're just assuming you're right and David goes against Bashiva.

They had a baby nine months later.

David had done please.

Don't just get away with it.

Get clean.

Don't just get away with it.

Between the first part of verse twenty seven and the last part of verse twenty seven.

I guess right here.

Things are great.

Things have been able to be accomplished, and there's no issues, there's no disruption.

I got away with it.

Sigh of relief.

The problem was David was not considering the one person that he couldn't come on.

And that was the woman who'd been watching the whole time.

When my girls uh turned 16, uh, when my oldest daughter turned 16, we got her uh a 2008 Toyota Camry that had 200,000 miles on it.

We felt like it was the perfect first car to get for our kids.

Um, and so it had it as a car that had been through, let's just say it had been used, all right?

It had been some experience, some, some, some obvious signs of wear and tear.

Would that be a fair enough statement?

Um, we we got them that because we wanted, no matter what, we ever got them in the future, for this to be an upgrade and it for sure it was okay.

Um, but we also got them that because we know a lot of times teenage drivers sometimes have a problem with just making sure that they, you know, don't hit all the curbs or the poles or the things like that.

And at times it can feel like the car can be a little bit more like a bumper car kind of a thing, okay?

And so sure enough, my daughter um uh was driving the car and she backed up and she backed into one of those immovable poles at a gas station, okay?

And then sure enough put a good little den in the back little part of that vehicle, okay?

And it was one of those situations where it wasn't so bad that we wanted to get it fixed, because literally, to get it fixed would cost more than the actual car was worth.

All right, that didn't make any sense.

But it also wasn't so bad that we thought we needed to fix it, we just thought it looked like character, okay?

And so, sure enough, the car looked like it had some character.

And so we had a bunch of people over in our house, a lot of our family over in the house, and so uh we had cars parked all over the place, and we were trying to figure out how to get them all moved and we had to get somebody out, and so therefore, um I found myself trying to move cars, I got my my daughter's car, and I'm doing like a 15-point turn around trying to get where I needed to be.

I'm getting real frustrated at this point, and I can't quite get the thing loose.

And then all of a sudden, I decided it was time I think I'm having my one-win runway to get this thing fixed.

And so I gunned that thing and nailed a tree.

I mean, nail, nailed a tree.

And I nailed it in the exact same spot that my daughter had already hit that pole.

I get out, look at it, that's not good.

All right.

And I thought, you know what?

But you still think they did it, and they didn't realize that they did it.

So I pulled that car into the spot where my girls parked their car, and I parked that thing, and I walked off, put the keys up on the deal, and felt great.

Just got away with it.

A few hours later, the family's all there.

And my youngest sister just is like, Chris, how's the tree doing?

What are you talking about?

The tree nailed with the girl's car.

Your situation may not be a 2008 until you had a came with two hundred thousand miles on.

But you need to always remember this.

Even if you don't see somebody watching, somebody always is.

Please hear me.

Our relationship that we have with God is not just one where we don't get caught.

It's one where he wants to make us clean.

And the only way that happens is when we're honest and open about what it is that he's already seen.

1 Samuel chapter 16, verse 7 says this, but the Lord said to Samuel, do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him.

1 Samuel 16:7

For the Lord sees not as man sees, man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.

If you remember, this was the verse we looked at the very first week that we started the series.

God picked David precisely because he wasn't impressed with the outside.

And now you see the same kid spending everything that he has to make sure everything looks good on the outside.

Your profile is not true.

Not because you lied on it, but because it cannot show the one thing that only God can see, and that's your heart.

The chapter ends like David got away with it.

But next week, Nathan's coming.

And God did not send Nathan to destroy David.

God sent Nathan because he would not leave him in that place of guilt, in that place of shame.

2 Samuel chapter 12, verse 13.

2 Samuel 12:13

David said to Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord.

And Nathan said to David, The Lord also has put away your sin, you shall not die.

The exposure that David is about to experience isn't punishment, it's mercy.

It's God saying, I love you way too much to let you get away with this.

God uncovered him because he had no intention of ever losing him.

So here's what I want you to do today.

Would you grab your journals, take them out with me?

I don't want anybody looking around.

I want this to be a personal moment.

But I want you to pray this prayer that I'm just gonna tell you is dangerous.

Like if it's if you're real, you pray this for real, it's very dangerous.

But it's also perhaps the most freeing thing you could ever do.

Holy Spirit, what do you want me to do with this?

That's what I want you to pray.

Holy Spirit, what do you want me to do with this?

How do you want me to respond?

What I want you to do is just whatever God is prompting you right in this moment, write it down.

Whatever it is.

If it's some massive thing, write it down.

If it's some little thing, write it down.

What we don't want is for you to be more knowledgeable in your disobedience.

We instead want to walk in integrity, truth, holiness before our God.

What I want to challenge you to do this week is whatever it is that you feel like the Lord is leading you to do, you tell someone.

Maybe it's a trusted friend, maybe it's a member of your small group, maybe it's a pastor, maybe it's a counselor.

God wants to, the enemy wants to isolate you.

God wants us to live in community.

So, in light of that, what he's inviting us to do is to not have to post something online and tell everybody, you don't have to do all that.

He does want you to walk in obedience with others.

You're gonna see next week that there's so much freedom on the other side of that.

Let me ask you the question that I asked you at the beginning of the message: Who are you putting in that chair?

Somebody who makes your image look better, or someone who builds up and protects your integrity.

Leaders protect their integrity before they protect their image.

Finally, I want you to think about Uriah.

He was innocent, he was loyal.

He wouldn't go home and eat and drink while his brother slept in a field.

He carried his own death sentence in his hand and he walked it all the way to the place where he would ultimately be killed.

Uriah is a picture of Jesus with one big difference.

Uriah never knew what was about to happen to him.

Jesus knew the whole time.

He lived a life of integrity that none of us have ever lived.

He never sinned, not once, and every bit of what you and I have done, everything that you're still covering right now, he carried to the cross anyway.

He paid the debt, the sin debt that we owed.

He rose from the dead.

He is not waiting on you to clean yourself up first.

He's the only one who can make you clean.

When God finally uncovers a person, he's not doing it to end them, he's doing it so that he can have them.

The uncovering is the mercy.

So let me ask: are you clean before God?

Or are you just uncaught?

Could you bow your heads and close your eyes with me all across this room?

Please no one looking around in these next few moments.

I want to ask you to do something because I want to pray for you.

If you're here today and you have something, something that you need to confess, whether it's massive or whether it's small, it makes no difference.

Something that you know, the spirit just said, Man, you need to talk to somebody about that.

You need to tell somebody about that, you need to confess that to somebody.

Would you just do me a favor?

No one looking around, do it really quick.

I don't want to embarrass you.

Lift your hand up really quick and then put it right back down so that I can see it.

I want to pray for you.

All over this room.

Lift your hand up, put it back down.

Father, I pray for all of these who've raised their hands, Father, that they would hear the truth of 1 John chapter 1, verse 9, which says if we confess our sins, that you are faithful and that you are just to not only forgive us of all of our sins, which is enough by itself, but you will cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 1:9

Thank you for your mercy, thank you for your grace, Lord.

May we walk in openness to the God who already sees.

May we stop hiding, and may we walk in the light as you are in the light.

Lord, I pray for healing in this room.

I pray for hope.

I pray for verse five confessions instead of verse 27 disappointment.

Lord, may we not worry about our reputation, but we instead may we only worry about our standing with you.

I thank you, Lord, for Jesus for what he has done even before we brought it up, but while we were still sinners, he died for us.

Lord, I pray that right now, if somebody doesn't know you, that they would give their lives to you.

Man, what an amazing time that we had today.

Hey, if you know of someone that needs to hear this message, we'd love for you to share that on socials.

We'd love for you to actually go and check out our socials so you can stay up to date on everything happening in the life of United City.

And if you need to take the next step, we'd love to help you do that as well.

Love you guys so much, and we'll see you next week.