After the Message: Rediscovering the Awe

Thank you for joining us for After the Message.

To learn more about Celebration Church here in Orlando, you can follow us on social media under the handle at Celebration ORL or visit our website at celebrationorl.org.

Hey folks, welcome to After the Message.

We hope that you're having a good day wherever you are in your car, at home, whatever you're doing.

If you have stumbled upon this podcast, this is the Celebration Orlando podcast, our church here uh in Orlando.

And this is a segment on the podcast called After the Message, and it's pretty simple.

We talk about the previous week's sermon and just kind of continue that conversation.

And we hope it encourages you to do the same thing in your circles, in your community.

Today, I am joined by Miss Daniera Pittman.

How are you?

Doing good, how are you?

Doing well.

Thanks for coming on.

Thank you for having me.

Yeah, of course.

Um first of all, let's let's talk a little bit about school.

We were talking about it off air.

Why don't you tell the people kind of what you're continuing on in and what you're what you're doing and how that's going for everybody?

Yeah, so I am getting my second bachelor's degree in political science.

Um, I got my first degree in um ministerial leadership, so it's a big jump and different.

Um, but I really just felt like over the past summer God leading me in this direction, and I'm just hoping that with this degree that I'm just able just to bridge the gap between um the church and outside the church um through like nonprofit organizations just to help people in need.

So um this series has been really cool.

First of all, uh Pastor Keith's feeling better, which is great.

Praise the Lord.

Uh for those of you who don't know, uh our pastor uh had COVID and it you know took a toll on him there for a couple weeks, but he's recovering, getting his strength back, feeling good.

Um but we've had the opportunity to hear from a lot of people in the celebration family.

Um and you know, obviously with travel restrictions and stuff in the previous year and uh all that good stuff.

Uh it's nice to be able to do that again and and hear from people.

So um what's kind of been what's kind of been for you, what stood out to you the most, I guess, about this series, do you think?

Yeah, I would probably say this past Sunday.

Because two Sundays I was out.

Okay.

Um, but this past Sunday just really stick out to me of just being really intentional about being led by the spirit.

Um because I feel like I am for the most part led by the spirit because I'm I rely like on discernment and just waiting on the Lord to make a decision.

But it was just a good reminder and good refresher, like okay, in my everyday, day-to-day life, when I wake up in the morning, am I intentionally allowing the spirit to lead me and guide me before I get caught up in the busyness and life and things like that?

So I think this message from this past Sunday had really stuck with me.

Yeah.

Um, do you have like a we've heard, you know, some of the Pastor Clay, you know, mentioned his rhythm a couple weeks ago.

Like, do you have a rhythm?

Do you try different things?

Like, what what's kind of been for you when you're talking to God through the Holy Spirit?

What's what's kind of that what does that look like for you, I guess?

Yeah.

Um, when I wake up in the morning, I say, Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to see another day.

That's the first thing I say.

I think I got that from my grandma.

She's always said that.

Um, but I that's something that I've said, and then um and then like on the way to work, I always listen to worship music first.

I just have to I do listen to like a little bit of rap at the gym, but um I it's just like background noise for me.

I just need that energy.

But like on the way to work, I always listen um to worship music.

It just it just set my day is different if I don't listen to it.

So um that's what I do, and then when I get to work, I just start journaling a little bit and just kind of take my time to just be led by the Lord and whatever he wants to talk to me.

I start journaling and then I'll just open up scripture and start jotting notes down.

Yeah.

Have you learned anything, you know, with your personal relationship with God?

Like how how has that, I guess, developed like from day one, you know, with you following Jesus?

I mean, you're in the home of a pastor, so you know it's a little bit different, and I'm a PK, so I understand that, but but as I got older and um as I started to to really understand what it looks like to pursue God for myself, you know what I mean?

Like, how has that developed for you?

Because I know there's a lot of people out there who are wondering, um, man, this person seems so spiritual, you know, and Pastor Carlos kind of touched on that a little bit about um exercising that muscle, you know what I mean?

And and so you obviously have a routine now, but how did that develop?

Yeah, in the beginning, I I think I was overthinking it.

I thought that God was actually going to like speak to me audibly, like, and he may do that for some people, but I've just haven't had that experience.

Yeah.

So it took me like, I'm like, I don't feel like I'm hearing God.

And then I would, if something would come up and or to make a decision in my life, because when I started following Christ was entering into my freshman year of high school.

Oh wow.

Um, I've always obviously I grew up as a PK, but like actually making the decision of I'm gonna have a personal relationship with God.

Um that was entering into my um freshman year of high school.

And so um, yeah, it was really hard transition into like, okay, like I'm I'm not hearing God speak.

Like, how do what are these speakers talking about?

About like hearing the voice of God.

Um, but I just knew like in moments where it's like, okay, like I feel like I s I'm supposed to do this, or feel I feel like the Lord is telling me this.

And then seeing that like kind of manifest, I was like, okay, this is how the Lord speaks to me.

And also through like um dreams as well.

I really I get really, really I have the craziest dreams.

You remember like you remember dreams when you wake up, you remember what they were, they're they're vivid.

Yeah, they're more vivid when I'm fasting, so I need to do that more often.

Wow.

Um, but they're very, very vivid, and I I dream every single night.

Um it's super, super insane.

So I'll have dreams and then I'll go to my dad.

I'm like, hey, I had this dream.

I feel like the Lord maybe try to tell me this, and then he'll try to kind of like interpret it.

And or I might talk to um a close friend of mine's mom, she's really good at interpreting dreams.

So that's been kind of helping me over the years of really trying to hear the Do you have any examples?

Like, can you share anything?

Like, would you be comfortable sharing anything, maybe?

Or I'm trying to think.

I have the worst memory.

So when I wake up, I literally have to I grab my journal and I have to write it down because I'll I will forget it.

Yeah.

Um because I can be skeptical skeptical about this stuff.

You know what I mean?

So it can be it can be, especially for other people too, I'm sure it can be helpful, but I don't mean to put you on the spot with that.

Yeah.

It's not like I'm seeing like Jesus or anything like that.

Yeah, yeah.

I just want to clarify, it's more like it's a situation or circumstance, or it can be like Caleb and I were walking down the street and we saw like this figure and it was trying to attack us.

Like, what is that?

Like things like that, yeah.

For example, it's not um like okay, yeah, like I had a Jesus is speaking to me and so it's almost like parables, like how Jesus spoke in story and used allegory and metaphor and a lot, and it's almost like, man, what was the lesson that I learned about that?

Am I on the right track?

Yes.

Okay, cool.

Exactly.

So sorry, I wish I had my journal in front of me so I can flip through some examples, but yeah, that's kind of pretty much it.

It's like a big picture, and I'm like, okay, for where I'm at in my seasonal life, what is God trying to like?

Is there things I should be aware of?

Are there voices that I'm allowing into my life that shouldn't be having a voice into my life?

It's like things like that.

Yeah, that's just I hope that adds clarity.

It does for sure.

It does for sure.

And it's funny because uh my wife always is telling me, like, you gotta hear this dream I had.

And it's not like in the morning, it's whenever we get home from work and we see each other, like maybe sometimes for the first time in the day, and she's like, Last night I had this dream.

I'm like, how in the world did you remember that from last night?

For me, I'd wake up and I have no idea what happened.

So it's crazy, yeah.

Um towards kind of towards the beginning of uh Pastor, first of all, Pastor Carlos, it was great to see him.

It was great to like meet him.

You know, I know him, obviously.

He's at our Amelia Island, he's the pastor there at that campus or location.

And uh I had met him a couple times before, but to actually uh sit down with him and talk to him and stuff was pretty cool.

But um he uh he had a great, great perspective on on what we were talking about when we're in this series called God the Spirit, and and towards the beginning of it, he was saying that um he would kind of ask the question like why does everyone have a different opinion of the Holy Spirit?

And you know, I've shared it on on the podcast before, but I grew up in a pretty traditional, you know, fundamentalist background.

So to me, when I came to Celebration Church seven years ago, learning about who the Holy Spirit was and continuing to learn in that has been eye-opening, uh it's been challenging, yeah, uh confusing at times, you know what I mean?

And so uh I don't know I know a little bit about your background, but but kind of talk a little bit about your coming up in the church and what your experience was like with other people in cons in in uh in conjunction with the Holy Spirit.

Yeah.

Um so growing up when we did live in Delaware, um, the church that we went to was more like of assemblies of God.

Okay.

But it was the church service where it started like at seven or eight and we didn't leave till like three.

Nice.

Um and I was so young, like I I couldn't have been more than like five years old, but like I remember it so vividly.

There's red chairs, like I can I could paint a picture of what it looks like.

I just remember being there just like all day long.

Um and yeah, people would just be running around the sanctuary, shouting, yelling.

It was just normal.

Like my brother Keith and I would just try to like position ourselves to just sleep on one another.

Like it was just like I wasn't I wasn't there.

I was there, but I wasn't like actually there.

Yeah.

Um, and so then eventually we went to um when we moved to Florida, um, we came to Celebration where it was at Midtown at the time.

And um it was definitely different from the previous um culture that we came from.

Um, but I loved that we got out in like an hour and a half.

I get to enjoy the rest of my Sunday.

Like, you know, it's like my weekend as a kid, like I don't want my whole Sunday to be at chair.

Yeah.

Um, so yeah, I loved it.

And then um even back at Midtown at the time, I forgot what it was called, but Friday nights they would kind of have like Holy Spirit-filled nights.

It was kind of like a worship night.

Um and then some people receive like the gifts of the spirit and things like that, but yeah, that's pretty much my background.

Did have you had a specific encounter with a baptism of the Holy Spirit, or has yours been like a gradual kind of process?

It's been a gradual because I didn't get my prayer language until I was um, I think maybe 19.

Um, even though I've been in church, I've been at retreats and like have felt like the Holy Spirit present, but I didn't get it because I I'm an overthinker.

I overthink everything.

I'm constantly like analyzing just whatever it is.

I I've grown since then, but like I've that's just like my natural tendency.

Yeah.

And so I remember um when I was in the I was in celebration college at the time, and um Pastor Stovall was just like, hey, like we just need to pray over this thing.

And um if you have the gift of speaking in tongues, do it.

And then he was like, and even if you don't know how to do it, just do it anyways.

And like that's literally how I got my prayer language, which was just so and it was just so like I was like, okay, like this is I'm gonna try, like I don't know what to do.

And so that was kind of like my experience.

I was you just never know what's gonna happen.

Like for Caleb, he got it at um Caleb's my younger brother, but he got it and he was like maybe 10 or 11.

So you just never know.

And it's really hard not to compare.

Right.

Um, I was like, dang, like my little brother really got his before me.

That's so insane.

But you know, the spirit just he just moves upon you and I just really have to have that open heart and that open hand and try to not kind of like what Pastor Carlos was speaking about, like deconstructing like the weirdness of the Holy Spirit, you know.

Like I because I just because I've grown up in that environment, I'm like, okay, like do I have to like I went back and forth with like my um one of my professors.

I was like, do I in order to be a Christian, do I really have to speak in tongues or do other things in the gifts of the spirit?

Like I would have these like these conversations because I would be in environments and I would try to get it.

Um but yeah, just for clarity, you don't have to be you don't have to um have that gift in order to be a Christian.

But I those are things I was like wrestling with because I'm like I'm I'm doing I feel like I'm doing all I can to pray for it and ask for it and the Bible say to pray and ask for these things.

So yeah, I'm not sure if that answered the question.

No, it does for sure.

Um what uh what would you say to someone who uh or how how would you encourage someone who does seem frustrated?

Like I don't feel like I am operating in the giftings or I don't feel like I've been given a gift, you know what I mean?

What what what would you say to someone?

How would you encourage them in that?

Um I would say first and foremost, and it's kinda I don't know, but uh just take it to the Lord um first and try to to give those grievances to him because you don't want that to come out in other areas, like if you're serving somewhere or being part of being part of the ministry and doing different things, you don't want that kind of like that bitterness to kind of uh come from your heart.

Um but then I would say to also take the pressure off of yourself um because this is not something to be done in like your own strength, but like it's something that has to be totally dependent and reliant on um the spirit and just to continue to encourage yourself and scripture and to reach out to um a pastor or someone on our staff, and they we would be able to just help you and walk you through this process and just encourage you.

Yeah.

Um but yeah, just try not to overthink it, nothing's wrong with you because it took me forever, and um, I was just like, wow, like I'm really a pastor's kid and I haven't received this.

It's like this pressure that we put on ourselves that we it doesn't need to be there.

Sure.

Yeah, and and if you look at the if you look at the original design, you know, what's what's the gifting for in the first place, you know, yes, it it can benefit you, but it's actually to lift up the church to edify others and to you know to be to be a gift for the rest of the church and not just yourself.

So I think a lot of times we can look inwardly and kind of like you said, we can say, gotta be something wrong with me or something of that nature, um, if you feel frustrated.

But um that's great, great advice, great encouragement.

Do it, don't do it alone, you know, don't go at it alone.

Because I I held it in because I was like, I don't want anyone to it's just awful.

For the PKs out there and staff kids, I feel for you, like just don't do it alone because I just I held that in for 19 years for what reason?

Like I could have brought that to other people and have them get involved into it.

So please don't do it alone.

Maybe we should start a pastor's kid like uh Oh my god.

What what would you call like some sort of group or something like therapeutic where therapy where pastors' kids could come even anonymously if you want.

One really cool thing, uh I think the biggest thing that's jumped out to me, let me go let me say this first.

The biggest thing that jumped out to me through this entire series is a lot of the pastors have been saying the same thing and unintentionally have been saying the same thing.

Because if you know anything about preparing a message, you're usually trying to do it ahead of time.

So even if you were to say, well, they probably watched the other person's message.

And first of all, you probably don't want to repeat what another pastor has already said, you know what I mean?

But they've all they've all been saying the same thing, and to me, that's just a a a tribute to the Holy Spirit within this teaching series, because it's not it's not like different interpretations of who God is and how He and how He acts and the way that He's ordained us and all that stuff.

So that's been that's been amazing to me is to hear uh from different communicators and teachers kind you know, similar teachings.

Um But uh one of the really cool things that unique things that I think Pastor Carlos said that I can totally relate to growing up is uh the Holy Spirit's not just there to sit in your soul.

Man, that is my upbringing to a T, I feel like.

And don't get me wrong, I'm so thankful that I was born in a Christian home and I was raised in the church, and I you know, I'm very fortunate to have have grown up that way.

Uh but it's only that that upbringing only brought me so far just because it was like, well, God lives on the inside of me and that's pretty much it.

Yeah.

What's the okay, well, what's the manifestation of that?

You know, not necessarily some supernatural gift, but yeah, fruits of the spirit and things of that nature.

So I don't know.

Uh that just really stuck out to me, like, no, God the Holy Spirit is here to enable you to, like you mentioned earlier, uh live out your daily life and yeah, what seems to be menial task, you know, because you never know what that could be for someone else, right?

Right, for sure.

So um another great thing that that he really touched on, and he kind of compared it to uh you know, physical exercise, but spiritually, he's like, you know, you're technically born with the same amount of muscle as everybody else, but you know, you have to exercise that in order for it to grow and to be stronger.

So I love that analogy.

It was really good.

And it kind of got me thinking, like, man, what am I doing?

What how am I exercising that part of my life?

What about you?

What would you say?

Like, how do you how do you exercise that in in your life?

Um, yeah, I think it's just that that discernment.

Um, sometimes the Lord will just place people on my heart.

And I'm like, okay, like yeah, I'll reach out to them in a few days or something.

Because of everything I have else I have going on.

Yeah.

And I'm like, okay, no, if the Lord's placing someone on my heart, then it's for a reason.

The Lord's telling me to go in this direction, it's for a reason.

Um and so I think it's just that daily practice and make sure I'm being just making sure I I I'm allowing and creating space for him to like speak to me and that I'm just being open because I just I don't want to be overly dist distracted.

Um so then I can't hear the voice of the spirit and then you just I feel like sometimes when I'm distracted, I I I like I just have hear confli conflicting voices.

Um so it's like, oh man, like I'm why am I in this mood?

And I'm like, I haven't done my diva today yet.

That's probably why, you know?

Yeah.

So um I think it's that's um the sanctification, like just making sure I am growing and I'm wrestling with the things of God and making sure I'm just progressing forward into um just getting aligned to more of his will and being obedient.

Yeah.

That's one thing that's hard for me is is this my voice or is this something that I've heard?

You know what I mean?

Like how do I how do I begin to understand what's my voice? 'Cause sometimes I want my voice to be God's voice.

You know what I mean?

Like that sounds nice, but like how do how do people begin to to distinguish the two?

Like your inner voice, like, man, I really think God's telling me this when in reality it may just be you wanting it.

Do you get what I mean?

For sure.

Yeah.

I think if it's like for me personally, if it's super self centered, then it's not um It's not of him.

Just for me personally.

Like if it's serving or doing something out of my schedule, because I am very scheduled and regimented.

Um, if it's doing something out of what I would want to do, if I'm like at home and the Lord is like, okay, you should probably get coffee with that person.

I'm like, oh my gosh, this is my only rest day.

Like, you know, like doing things like that, that's how I know, like, okay, like this is probably the Lord.

Yeah.

In some instances, that's just how it's been for me.

Yeah, absolutely.

I can relate to that.

I think too, um one of the ways that I would describe maturing in the Christian life, or I guess advice that I would give people is um begin to get comfortable with discomfort.

Yeah.

Um, begin to uh be okay with being disrupted, you know, and being disturbed a little bit.

Yeah.

Um, especially if you read scripture um through the you know, with the Holy Spirit guiding you, um, there are definitely gonna be more times than not you will be disrupted and disturbed than you I mean, not to say that you're not encouraged.

You of obviously, you know, the Holy Spirit's a comforter and a helper and a friend, but um it'll point out it'll point out the stuff you don't necessarily want to look at.

I don't know if you've experienced that as well.

Yeah, for sure, especially when he wakes you up like at like 3 a.m.

and it's like wow, you're just not letting me go to sleep.

Okay, let me open up scripture.

Oh, okay.

This is what you wanted to tell me.

Yeah, fun.

Yeah, thank you.

Appreciate that.

Appreciate that.

I'm gonna go back to bed now, but um Pastor Carlos kind of mentioned how the modern day church has uh the benchmark for church has been attendance, or the benchmark for church has been who's communicating, or the benchmark for church has been how are you operating, you know, and as opposed to are you being spirit-led, you know.

Um and first of all, being spirit-led, in my opinion, and I think this lines up with scripture, but it there's a it's not ambiguous, you know, it's not it's not a free-for-all.

Okay, and I think a lot of times we use the term, you know, I think God said or the spirit's leading us, and and it's it's out of line, it's out of order, it's it's chaotic a bit.

Um so we apologize if anybody's ever experienced any of that.

But but I think that was a really great point, is um he was he was just saying, like, w why don't we start to have the benchmark of of what God is leading you to do through his spirit?

Um and and does your church operate that way?

Yeah, you know?

Um are your toes getting stepped on, you know, because if they're not, you may be in the wrong place, you know, if you're always walking away, like um again, not to be not that you're just getting beat up every week, but if you're not being disrupted a little bit, if you're not causing things to come into question about your life, you know.

I I don't know how how you feel about that.

I know definitely because you work with the next generation, you work with youth and stuff, and they're definitely told they're a little bit more coddled, I think, than any generation before.

So I don't know if you've had to explain that to younger generations or not, but what what do you usually say when it comes to those types of things?

Yeah.

Um it's it's really hard because you know, in this in this generation now, it's hard to say anything without it feeling like judgment.

Even though when you're not trying to be even when you're not being judgmental, it still is like, okay, well, you're not just loving me for who I am.

And it's not like for not loving you for who you are.

We just believe that the Lord has better for you.

Yeah.

If that makes sense.

So it's just been having to have those conversations.

It's better to have them in person than over text because it does not really translate well with um the youth.

But yeah, it's just it's it's really hard.

I'm I'm still trying to figure out Gen Z, even though I'm technically a part of Gen Z.

Are you?

Technically, I feel like I identify with the millennial.

Okay.

I really is that the next step?

I because I think I'm a millennial.

Yeah, you're a millennial.

Okay.

And then the next one's Gen Z?

Yeah.

Okay.

I'm on like the higher end, so I'm like the oldest of it, and I'm like, I don't really get you guys, to be honest.

Some things I do, but and some other things I don't.

But yeah, with this generation, it's just super hard because um we're seeing like as generations going on, the youth are stepping, stepping away more from the faith.

And so I've just been trying to figure out like what is my role?

Like how do I love people while but also guiding them to truth because I don't want to just get so caught up in grace that we miss out on the truth because Jesus was very direct about yes, um, he was very direct about certain things, and so it's just I don't know, it's managing attention because I just want to love students well and I just want to be um the person that I didn't have when I was younger.

So I don't know if that answered the question.

I mean, do you think that I I feel like uh society is is constantly a pendulum swing.

You know, so do you think that perhaps um the church or Christianity has like dug a hole in a sense, you know what I mean, that now we're we're trying to get out of because we've been hyper focused on the wrong things, maybe?

Yes, I agree 100%.

Um how how do we in your estimation how do how do we do it correctly?

Like how do we not go to the up to the other extreme?

Yeah, how do we balance out?

I think we have to the church has to set the standard.

Um and so I feel like sometimes we have let society like set the standard on what we communicate or preach to students, but I also feel like we like the Capital C church, we have gotten too caught up in society as well.

So we're preaching things from a platform that necessarily need to be preached, like politics, like preaching what we feel should be what we feel aligns with God's will.

Okay.

And I don't I don't know, I don't think that necessarily is help is like, you know, healthy in helping like people who are broken and hurt and because it's just projecting things like that, it can just be super harmful or it can feel like judgment and condemnation and things like that.

And so there has to be a middle ground of you know, the church is the standard because I mean the world looks to the church um for things, but I also believe that we can't keep just can't keep preaching the world to people.

Beating around the bush?

Yes.

Yeah I'm not sure if that makes sense.

Yeah, it does.

What what are some of the things that and I may have a even asked you this on the last time you were on, but what are the some some of the things moving forward for the church that you believe that we can see, or maybe things that you're praying that we will see, you know, and how how the church operates, you know, moving forward, especially coming out of uh what was 2020, you know.

So and and maybe some of the lessons that the church uh worldwide has learned and what what are what brings you hope?

Um I guess what brings me hope is just communicating with um a lot of the people in our communities and seeing how we're um I'm not trying to say this pridefully, but like how we're actually like making a difference in people's lives um at a local scale.

That's just been a super like a s huge encouragement for me personally.

Um I also um I I'm hoping and I'm praying that the church becomes more honest and more vulnerable um to just some of the I don't know, I'm trying to filter my words.

Just being more um vulnerable with um the congregation and just being able to have open conversations and dialogue.

I think that when we don't have that, it can create mistrust and it can create um people kind of like not feeling like they can um either kind of like speak to things or feeling like they have like a relationship with um just people in the church, the church in general or God too, just based on how things can appear and things like that.

Yeah.

Do you think do you think there are other settings beside a Sunday that are more conducive to that?

And if so, what what do those look like, you know?

Yeah.

Do you think it's around it's at home, it's in homes or it's in, you know, maybe groups or prayer meeting.

I d I you know, I don't know what everyone's church background is and stuff, but um it can't just be a Sunday or something.

For sure, 100%.

I think it's in groups, I think it's in community, I think it's connecting um with people who are I don't want to say high up in leadership, but just people who are able to like lead you forward.

Um because sometimes um having an outside perspective into things um doesn't make you it doesn't like I'm trying to put into words, but it doesn't give the context that's needed.

Um so I think sometimes having like an inward perspective to things and kind of bridging the gap that way um allows a lot of you know like grace and just open dialogue and all that kind of stuff.

So I for sure don't think all this can happen on a Sunday.

We don't have enough time.

Yeah.

But I think it's really just like Well, you did it at your old church in Delaware.

For sure.

But like truly sitting down with people, having a conversation, getting dinner with them, groups and community, that's gonna be like your biggest friend into getting some of that vulnerability and bidging bridging um relationships.

Yeah.

Do you think there's a hunger for that out in the world right now?

Or do you think people are okay with kind of their own bubble?

Because I can see how you could say both sides.

You know, maybe there's a hunger for it, but we've lost touch so much that we don't know how to get there.

Yeah.

Or maybe it's just like I'm content with my Netflix and my Uber Eats.

Does that make sense?

Yeah, I think it's I think people try to search for it in other things.

And so I think people try to just search for that peace, search for whatever it is, which is it's obviously like God and Holy Spirit and um just Jesus speaking to you or fulfilling you.

But I think a lot of times people try to just fill their hearts and their souls with just things that aren't of God, thinking it can replace Him or give that satisfaction because we can't see, you know, the Lord.

People try to gravitate to things that they can't see, yeah.

And to fill their souls, and so um yeah, I think it's I think there's a tension in the middle between it, because I feel like people are like, Oh yeah, I'm I'm just content in doing what I'm doing, but we shouldn't necessarily be comfortable in what we're doing for the kingdom.

So Yeah.

It's kind of like uh, you know, whenever Pastor Keith prays before he continues on in his message, he always says, uh, give us uh eyes that we can see you, ears that we can hear you, you know.

So uh I think that's it's definitely profound to think about like not being able to see in physical form, but God granting you the ability to see spiritually, you know, in in a in a sense.

So um I know you're you're a a reader, right?

I'm correct in that, right?

Yeah, I haven't been doing that good of a job because I've been in school.

Are you reading anything right now?

Um or what's the last thing that you read?

I've been reading this book for like the past three months.

That's fine.

But it's it's a really good book.

I might start it over because I just want to have it fully into my system, but it's called The Best Yes by Lisa Turkers.

Um, it's so good for those who are overthinkers like me because I just want to make the best decisions that align with God's will.

Like looking at my old journals, I would be like, Lord, like what's what's on your will for me today?

Like it was just super intense.

And it's like, it doesn't have to be like it doesn't have to be like that.

Like my tattoo says, let it happen.

And I got it because I was just so fearful of stepping out and doing anything.

I wouldn't do anything.

Oh my gosh, I'm not gonna get emotional.

But I wouldn't do anything because I just didn't want it to like be within like the will of God, or I don't want to make mistakes or things like that.

And it's just like it doesn't have to, it doesn't have to be that way, just take the pressure off.

If you do make like a mistake, it's a lesson learned, and every mistake I've made in the past has just been able to allow me to help people now.

So yeah, that was a long answer.

That's good.

What uh what what what brought you out of that?

Was it just continually like having to learn lessons, or was there s was there a moment where you're like, what am I doing?

Yeah, there was like I I don't remember the moment, but I was just like, I can't live my life like this.

Like I just can't live my life in fear.

Yeah.

Like I'm I'm not really enjoying my life right now, and I'm not doing things out of fear.

And so it's just just overcoming that fear.

I really, really struggle with it.

And it was something I had to bring before the Lord daily.

So speaking of lessons, what what's maybe something that God's been trying to teach you right now?

Maybe the Holy Spirit's been speaking to you, or maybe you're not sure the whole story of it yet, but you're getting bits and pieces.

Maybe what what's what's De Niro walking walking through that that God's teaching?

Um that I can't do everything in my own strength.

I can't do it all on my own.

Um, and so sometimes I just like to do things I just like to do things on my own.

Like I just like to do whatever I'm doing without the help of people.

Because I just don't want to I don't know.

Like I just I don't know where it comes from, but I just don't want to appear as a weak.

Like I'm like, no, I'm strong.

I can do it.

I can I got it all on my own.

Um, but it's just not realistic and it's exhausting.

Like it's exhausting to try to carry all that I'm carrying like on my own.

It's n it's just and it's also not healthy, like it just gets in the way of you know, hearing from the Lord and all that kind of stuff.

So I'm learning to be more reliant on people and being more open about that, which is super hard.

So I think that's going back to you know the beginning of the discussion, it's it's one of those voices that creep in sometimes, you know, and we don't even realize that we're listening to it.

Because I th I I definitely think that's one of the that's one of the tools that the world uses.

I mean you you hear it all the time, you're talking about rap music listening to in the gym, like self-made, you know, like I got here on my own, I didn't need nobody else, you know.

And and so I I I definitely think that that's one of those voices that can creep in, and before you know it, you're looking back going, where is everybody?

Well, you kind of decided that you wanted to do it by yourself.

So but uh thanks for coming on.

I I I always enjoy talking to you, whether it's on After the Message or around the lunch table when you're bringing up Did you hear about this?

So uh really appreciate it.

Yes, thank you for inviting me.

This was a lot of fun.

Yeah, of course.

Looking forward to the next one.

Yes.

Bye.

Thank you for joining us for After the Message.

To learn more about Celebration Church here in Orlando, you can follow us on social media under the handle at Celebration ORL or visit our website at celebrationorl.org.