Perfected in Weakness (2 Corinthians 12:1-21)

Alright, good morning.

My name again is Pete.

I'm an elder here to bide.

In case we don't say it enough, we we're going, we we go through the Word of God, through the Bible, verse by verse, chapter by chapter, and uh we go through the word, and the important thing is you have a copy for yourself to go through.

Um it's not what I say this morning, it's the authority of the Bible.

So really that's where the authority is.

It's not in me, it's in what God has given us in his word.

Um this morning we're continuing through 2 Corinthians.

Pastor Chris has got to take a week away.

Um, and so he's doing well and on his venture back.

Um we're in the 12th chapter.

It is a great chapter.

I have the privilege of going through a really cool section of scripture this morning.

Just as a little reminder and background.

Paul's, this is Paul the Apostle, he's writing this book.

It's the second letter that he's written to the Corinthians that we have in the New Testament.

And there's other writings in the New Testament, so we may see or read things, and we may even hear of things that he's done.

We don't get it all, and not everything is in here, but we have what God has selected to be in Scripture, infallible, and here inspired for us.

So this is Paul's.

Uh there are two letters in the New Testament.

There's another letter he's referred to, but this is the second letter in the New Testament.

He's written to them before we're in his second letter.

He's writing to the Corinthian church and to the folks in the region of Achai.

The general thinking is that he's on his third missionary journey.

He's really what he's doing, he's about to go to Corinth, and he's writing it in advance to, he's writing in advance to the Corinthians.

He's trying to prepare them.

He's doing a couple things.

He's preparing for his visit, and Paul is defending his calling and his apostleship before them.

There have been accusations.

Paul's calling and gifting have been questioned before in the Corinthian church and before him, they belittled him.

He's calling, he's he is uh writing to defend himself.

He's about to he's about to venture that way.

He'd gotten a report from Titus.

There's still some things, uh, still some things that need to be addressed, and what he's trying to do, I don't know if maybe sort of is an example, uh like growing up, my parents might be out for a date, and they may say, Hey, we're on our way home, make sure the house is cleaned up.

I don't want to see a mess when I get home, right?

I don't know if this has ever happened to you.

But this is like, there better not be a mess.

Let's make sure it's right so we don't have a bunch of drama when I get home, and everything is a sty, right?

So I kind of think about that when Paul's writing.

He's he's writing ahead and he will mention it several times that he is coming again.

He's right, he's I'm coming to you for the third time.

We see that he he was in the area a couple times, New Testament.

He's talking about a third visit, and he doesn't want to come and spend all this time correcting, confronting, having a bunch of drama, and having no great time to really enjoy that relationship and minister among them.

He doesn't want to just come and do a bunch of a bunch of unfun stuff.

So he's writing in advance.

We talked several weeks ago about he's preparing, trying to prepare for a financial gift to the Jerusalem church, but he is a big part of the book.

The theme throughout the book is that he's defending his ministries and his apostleship to the Corinthians.

We've read in other a few other places that he had Paul had been accused of being unimpressive in appearance and contemptible of speech, unqualified.

We see that Paul, that he's far from those things, right?

But he's up against these accusations, against those who want to confront his calling and his uh his role as an apostle.

They might say, You weren't with Jesus.

But Paul will say, and he said it last week, especially in chapter 11, Paul's gonna say, I'll put my money where my mouth is.

I did and I have.

I've suffered, I've toiled, I've worked, I've put my life at risk.

He's already been to, he's already been stoned and survived.

This man is committed to the point of death.

He's committed to the gospel and to raising up this people of God.

Chapter 11, last week, the last half, we we saw that Paul was proving that through his suffering, through his service.

And he said, and we've seen a theme throughout is this boasting, right?

He says, I don't want to boast.

Well, Paul is boasting in a sense.

He's saying, I don't want to have to do this, but what I'm doing is declaring the things that I've done because I want to be able to show you that the accusations against me are absolutely false.

And by the way, you should have, you should have been backing me on this.

You should have been defending me.

In chapter three, he'll remind us he he said, uh, well, hey, do I need to have these letters of recommendation that I can bring to you and that somehow you'll believe me?

He'll say, No, you are my letter.

I don't need a letter to you.

Paul was in Corinth for for about a year and a half.

We can read that in Acts 18.

These people are the very work, the testimony of Paul's character in ministry.

Paul's saying, I shouldn't have to defend myself.

That's the airs we're getting into the book that we have, and it's an emotional section.

I think it's safe to say, this seems weird saying this, but there's a lot of emotion and hurt.

We're gonna see it, and this is a real thing.

Paul, towards the end of chapter 11, says, If boasting is necessary, I will boast about my weaknesses.

We're gonna see that come in a lot of light in this chapter.

He'll start chapter, we'll start in verse 1.

Paul says, Boasting is necessary, it is not profitable, but I will move on to visions and revelations of the Lord.

I know a man in Christ who was caught up to the third heaven 14 years ago.

What does it mean to boast?

And this is kind of an important thing.

We're gonna get into this.

Um boasting in a couple lights.

And we're gonna see the paradox of our, one of the paradoxes of our Christian walks in the passage this morning.

Paul's saying in the first sentence, the first verse, he's saying, boasting is necessary.

He says, I have to boast because this is the way I'm going to set this right.

My position, my calling, and my authority as an apostle.

This apostle means a sent out one.

This is someone being sent out to proclaim the word of God and to raise up believers and disciple them.

He's saying, it's not necessarily what I want to do, but I'm going to go ahead and do it.

I'm going to boast, I'm going to move on to the visions and revelations that the Lord has given me.

Even though he doesn't want to do it and he keeps saying it over and over, he's going to give us yet another reason that shows that he has the authority of an apostle.

Paul is going to start the second verse, and he is so intent on not talking about himself that he's going to talk in the third person.

And as we get into the rest of the passage, we've read it, as we've read it, but as we get into it, we're going to see that he's intent.

He's going to talk in the third person partially because he knows he cannot exalt himself.

So Paul's going to start, he says, I know a man in Christ, and this is, it's it's him, but he's talking uh so that he would not, he would uh avoid highlighting himself as much as possible.

He was caught up to the third heaven 14 years ago.

When was 14 years ago?

Well, this is in the mid-50s A.D.

This would seem to be fairly early, but um it doesn't seem that this is when Paul was stoned.

It seems to be earlier than that.

Maybe he was returning back to Tarsus as he's really starting to ramp up before he's starting to ramp up into his public ministry.

We don't know exactly when, it's not super important, other than the fact this is the first time we've really heard of this.

We haven't heard that he's had this revelation, he's kind of kept it to himself.

And maybe that's because he's trying really not to be exalted in it.

He's not gonna boast, but now he's gotta pull the card out.

He's gotta say, if if I can just drive home this point, y'all need to understand, if it's not clear already, there's yet another thing that shows that I have the authority here to shepherd over you, and that I have the authority as an apostle to speak.

The third heaven, so there's there we'll see later in the passage in verse 4.

That's paradise, but there's so the first heaven would be the atmosphere in the air, the second would be the stars in the universe, and in the third he's referring to as heaven.

He's saying later it's paradise.

It's um he is saying that there was uh that in this this vision of revelation, he was caught up to heaven effectively.

He says in verse 3, I know that, sorry, uh verse uh it was verse 2, whether he was in the body or out of the body, I do not know.

God knows.

I know that this man, whether in the body or out of the body, I don't know, God knows, um, was caught up into paradise and heard inexpressible words, which a human being is not allowed to speak.

I will not boast about this person, but and but not about myself, except of my weaknesses.

So was Paul taken up, was his body taken up to heaven?

We don't know.

We don't know if it was that or if he was he was there brought up in the spirit.

We don't know, he doesn't know.

So we won't conjecture, but it seems to be so real that he doesn't know.

It seems to be uh that either way, he's had an amazing experience.

And really what he's saying is that it doesn't matter that he knows.

God knows what it was.

So that's all we need to, that's what we need to be concerned with.

God has brought this, got brought this about.

Verse 4 says he was caught up.

So he didn't march his way in, right?

He didn't uh he didn't go himself, he was caught up.

That's the pat what we call the passive voice.

So he was brought up or caught up into this place.

He he sort of, in whatever ways he found himself there, and his description is not what he saw, right?

It's more of what he heard.

And the little we hear about it, and there very well may be a lot of other things he could speak of or not speak of, but he says that he heard inexpressible words.

What were the words?

I don't know.

To me, this is like, and if I can explain, and this is maybe this is be a lot like me, say if I you you go on something and do something amazing, and maybe I go somewhere and my wife's not with me, and this happens.

Say I go to Yosemite and you go out through the tunnel and you're you see Yosemite Valley, and you I mean you can't go through the tunnel and not see the valley and be blown away, and you and say you're there for the first time and you come home, you're trying to describe it.

You're like you go through this tunnel, and it is you just you see towering buttresses, you see granite just that's been worn away, rock, gone, right?

And you go home, you're like, you wouldn't believe what it's like there.

And you try to describe it, and sometimes I mean this can happen, right?

You and you just get this blank stare.

Like, I guess it sounds amazing.

I'll I'll I'll have to go there someday, but yeah, that sounds amazing.

Well, there are times when we can't express what we've seen or heard.

Paul's saying he heard inexpressible words.

And he and he said, which a human being is not allowed to speak.

How are you not allowed to speak words?

I don't know exactly.

Maybe these are things, and again, does it matter if I conjecture?

I I'm just curious, and maybe these are things we'll find out more about, but it may be maybe there are things in heaven that we're actually gonna hear if you can imagine that we don't know everything, and that we're not going to, or we're not allowed to know everything, or some things are not for us on earth right now.

They're for the other side of eternity.

So maybe that's why, maybe he's not allowed to reciprocate these things just or to express them just yet.

It doesn't matter a ton.

What we're seeing is that Paul had an amazing supernatural experience.

Something that, you know, let's say you went to the White House and you you met the president.

You might be going home talking to your friends about, going to see the one of the most powerful people on the in on the face of the earth, right?

The humans.

But Paul, Paul's coming back, and there's a part of this he can't communicate, he's not allowed to communicate.

And he's saying, here's a revelation.

I'm I'm telling you, this happened to a guy I know, just a guy I know.

But it but I'm not talking about me.

This is I'm not even gonna speak about this being me.

I can't go there, and I'm gonna tell you why.

Paul says, I will tell you why.

And Paul says, but what I will tell you about is my weaknesses.

And this is gonna start blowing our minds because this is, we're getting into, we're getting away from our the where our natural flesh and our tendencies are going.

This is gonna be.

Paul is going to tell us things, remind us about things that are true about our walks that we have to, we have to walk in.

So Paul goes on, he says, For if I want to boast, I wouldn't be a fool.

So he's saying, Well, I wouldn't be wrong, and this would be true.

Um I would be telling the truth.

That's verse six.

And he continues, verse six, but I will spare you so that no one can credit me with something beyond what you've actually seen in me or hears from me.

Verse 7, especially because of the extraordinary revelations, the surpassing greatness of the revelations.

They hadn't actually seen this.

He's not gonna belabor the point.

So he's going to spare them continuing into this boasting, so to speak.

But he's gonna say, and here's the thing.

Because he is saying, because I, the Lord brought me this through this experience, so that I would not exalt myself.

Verse 7, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan, to torment me, so that I would not exalt myself.

Paul is saying, I boasted in this, but I'm not going to anymore.

This has been a very specific thing the Lord has done.

And I've needed there, and I've needed a the Lord realized that I needed something to keep this from becoming a problem.

What's a thorn?

The root is a stake or a spike.

Um the big thing is this is we're gonna read is not an irritation.

It's not irritating, it's debilitating.

If you've had a thorn broken off in your finger, if you've had a splinter, even those things can stop you in your tracks.

More so he says, a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan.

Does this sound a little bit more intense than uh than a goat head, maybe?

Yeah.

Is this a little crazy to think that that a very messenger or angel from Satan is has been allowed to come, the your word in your scripture may say uh to buffet or beat.

Does that sound pretty intense?

The last time I heard, or remember, one of the last times I remember in the New Testament about Satan's involvement with a believer was Jesus talking to Peter.

Right before he denied the denial of his denial of Christ.

Jesus says, Simon, Simon, look out.

Satan has asked to sift you like wheat.

But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail.

And you, when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.

So it's real that the Lord would allow, that he would allow Satan or a messenger of Satan to be brought to come into the picture, to torment or to affect a believer.

And that's pretty intense.

But does that it tells me that it was actually a pretty big deal that Paul not exalt himself?

He's saying, to torment me so that I would not exalt myself.

He's saying, look, I needed something to keep me from.

Paul was a very gifted man, right?

He was a Hebrew of Hebrews, he had every, he had the pedigree, he had the gifting.

You can go through the gifts.

Paul exhibited almost all of the gifts.

He could state her boast that he sacrificed, that he toiled.

And on top of that, this revelation, and maybe Paul was.

So, as much as it may maybe be a good helpful boast for Paul, this is also a way that Paul can be encouraged amidst all the trial and turmoil.

But Paul can't be exalted in it.

He's a very gifted man, the Lord knows.

Do you sometimes feel like you have a thorn or a spike?

Do you feel sometimes like you're being buffeted by Satan or a messenger of Satan?

Sometimes we feel that way, and maybe we are.

to really be sort of persecuted and and and not just annoyed, but but really, and this says, beat or tormented, that sounds um intense to say the least.

Do you sometimes feel that you have that thorn in your life?

Here's how Paul responded.

He says, Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times that it would leave me.

But he said, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.

Have you pleaded for to the Lord?

Has there been something in your life that you've pleaded for?

Have you entreated or implored the Lord?

It's okay that we do, and Paul did.

He didn't say, whatever, okay, it is.

I I can't change it.

He asked, he asked three times.

He he pleaded, Lord, would you take this from me?

Would it will it leave me?

What is the thorn that Paul had?

We don't know exactly.

It seems to be spiritual for one.

Some indications.

Maybe he had a vision issue.

In Galatians, we know he had a vision issue.

We don't know exactly what it was.

If it was a physical thing, he says in the flesh, so it makes me think there's something physical, but there's also a messenger of Satan.

It also sounds spiritual.

It sounds relentless.

And Paul says he asks the Lord, Will you take this from me?

Pray that it would leave me.

Does the Lord say, okay?

He doesn't say okay.

He doesn't say, no, I won't do it.

The response that we read, the Lord tells Paul, My grace is sufficient for you.

For my power is perfected in weakness.

The Lord told Paul that his grace would sustain him, to uphold him, to empower him.

How can God's power be perfected?

Does that seem how can anything of God be perfected?

Isn't he already perfect?

Yeah, seems a little does that seem funny?

If we are strong and capable, can is God's power effective in us?

He can still do things without us, for sure.

He can act and move without us.

Nothing keeps him from doing that.

But until we're weak, how is his power effective?

It's not effective.

I can have a powerful tractor or a powerful car.

If I don't hook it up to the trailer, if I'm towing a wagon, uh I don't need that power.

If I'm capable, I've got everything handled.

His power doesn't have a place to work.

Well, in our weakness, God's power is perfected because it's shown, it's glorified, it's exalted, and his power can move because it's not our power.

It gives him a place for his power and for his action to move.

A lot of times we can get into our weakness, and we get a worldly Western view of our weakness.

Paul's gonna take this and flip it on its head here in the last half of verse 9.

He says, Therefore I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may reside in me.

Our Western way, our Western life, our flesh, this flies in the face of our society and our just the human nature.

How often do you boast in one of your weaknesses?

This week, can you think back on something when you boasted in a weakness?

I'm an engineer, just uh, you know, it's a disability of mine, and uh and I'll tell you the working world in as a professional, and it probably goes for everything each one of you does in your world, you don't boast about your weaknesses.

This is not something that you do professionally.

And a lot of times in our even at church, we we don't go around, it's very it's very counter-self to go boasting about how you're weak.

And let me tell you, let's say something, let's let's uh let's define things.

What does it even mean to boast?

If I said my son was boasting to his brother about some candy he got this last week, for instance, what boasting kind of infers a lot of times when we the the connotation, maybe the meaning of the word, that you're you're drawing attention to your strengths, to your accomplishments, right?

More of a kind of a boisterous or exaggerated level.

Do we do we talk or ex or exclaim our weaknesses in a boisterous kind of way?

Normally we don't boast about weaknesses, it's kind of an oxymoron, right?

You don't boast about something that's actually maybe negative or uh or that's of like detriment to your you know character, or but Paul's saying we he does, and that we should.

And you we can boast them, he's and he's gonna tell us why.

He's saying, I will most gladly boast.

He says, No, I'm not just gonna boast because I have to.

He says, I will most gladly boast.

Why?

So Christ's power may reside in me.

So Paul's saying, if I boast about them, then I will have Christ's power.

That's how I will receive and act and walk in Christ's power, is by boasting and actually confronting and walking in my weaknesses.

He says in verse 10, here's why.

So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and in difficulties for the sake of Christ.

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Paul's taking pleasure not just in thorns.

He says, I'll take pleasure in weaknesses, insults.

I'm going to take weaknesses in where I'm not strong in my fallibilities.

In the offensive derogatory remarks that demerit me.

Has anyone here taken pleasure in an insult recently?

In your hardships?

Have you taken pleasure in your hardships?

Not making rent?

Have you taken pleasure in a broken relationship recently?

What about when someone derails your faith or deriles?

Is that even a word?

When someone denies the truth you believe, when someone mocks you, when you're physically harmed, has anyone recently taken pleasure?

Maybe you have.

But it's a question, it's it's a question to ask because I'll tell you, my week, when things are threatening, people threaten uh, say, my reputation.

Do I take pleasure in those things?

No.

I so often don't take pleasure in them.

So quickly, we can get really amped up and try to try to correct those things, try and get out of them.

But Paul's gonna say he takes pleasure in them.

And he says, for the sake of Christ, why?

Why for the sake of Christ?

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

What does it mean to be strong?

We say strong, we usually mean, well, I'm capable, I'm independent.

I can do these things.

I have the strength, the endurance.

Paul says, well, it's not.

Paul says, I'm not strong until I'm weak.

And often the problem is that we won't believe that God's grace is sufficient until we believe that we are insufficient.

Until we believe and realize that we're weak.

There's no room for the Lord to work.

When we recognize our weakness, that's when the Lord is then able to move in us because we give him room in our lives to encourage us, to bolster us, to speak to us, to bring others when we're not going to give them the credit otherwise.

This is what I call a paradox, which is a truth.

It's a paradox is a truth, right?

It doesn't seem true, but it is at surface.

It's a paradox of our Christian walks.

And in today's day and age, our Western thought and in our flesh, we can hear a lot.

You need to look for just just pull in the positive energy.

Send your positive thoughts, right?

You need to find your inner strength.

And these are so dangerous in our walks.

Because these little statements make it seem like it's all of you.

They make it sound like, well, you just need to pull it up from within.

And what we need to pull up within is the truth of God that's going to tell us where our right place is and what the right context is.

The reality is that we're not, the world wants to show us that we're supposed to be independent, not dependent.

But we want to be dependent on the Lord.

When we're incapable, then the Lord can be capable through us.

Paul said in Romans, for I consider the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

Paul knows this suffering and this weakness, these are circumstances.

We often look at the weakness or the difficulty, the trial, the persecutions, the insults.

And these are circumstances.

That's the tough part.

And so we can push back and we can ask for a prayer request to get us out of it.

And that's okay.

Paul asked for this thorn to be removed, right?

It's not a bad thing.

But we often miss the step where we ask the Lord to be our strength.

Because when he's our strength, when we're weak, he can be our strength.

That's the paradox of the Christian walk.

As Paul continues in verse 11, he's going to continue to talk and prepare the Corinthians.

He's going to continue to talk about trying, he's going to continue to convince and discuss how his apost how is how he's a apostle.

Sorry.

He's going to defend his apostleship.

Verse 11, I have been a fool.

You forced it on me.

You ought to have commended me, since I am not in any way inferior to those super apostles, even though I am nothing.

Paul's saying, again, I have been a fool.

He's being sarcastic here, but he's saying, you force me to do this.

I have to defend myself to get these things right so that we're in a proper place and you see me and view me in the right way as I'm coming to visit.

As I'm not inferior to these super apostles.

You can bet the super apostles are not sacrificing like Paul, sacrificed, toiling.

He says, even though I am nothing.

Paul knows that he is nothing, he brings nothing.

As in Philippians 3, Paul said he counted all of those things lost, his credentials, his pedigree.

He knows that those are all trash and rubbish apart from Christ.

He says in verse 12, the signs of an apostle were performed with unfailing endurance among you, including signs and wonders and miracles.

He says, you saw it.

These other things that show that I'm an apostle, these have been done among you.

You have, you've seen the supernatural proof of it there.

In verse 13, so then in that way, are you worse off than other churches, except that I personally did not burden you?

Forgive me this wrong.

Do you hear the sarcasm?

This is a hurt guy.

He is really hurt by the Corinthians.

He's trying to write the letter, though, so when he arrives, he doesn't have to go through this.

In verse 14, Paul's going to say, I don't come to take, but to give.

I want to try and resolve these things right now.

He says, I'm not seeking your money.

He's going to try and do a collection to take back to Jerusalem, right?

He says, I'm not I'm not seeking what's yours or your things or for you to somehow bless me.

He's I'm seeking you.

I want to be with you.

He says, in the same way, children ought not to save up for their parents, but parents for their children, right?

So this isn't like the parents and their kids are working away and they're like, okay, I gotta bring home the money, and hopefully that's not the case.

Maybe in some cases that's how it works.

But in all right ways, that we as parents were going to work.

The kids, you don't want the current kids burdened with that.

You don't want the kids thinking, oh, I need to go earn money.

A parent puts up and saves and spends on their kids.

Paul says, does this sound this in verse 15 I will most gladly spend and be spent for you?

This is the mark of a committed pastor, a committed shepherd.

Paul doesn't need to boast.

The boasting is really in the pudding, the cream, the the the proof is in the pudding, so to speak, with Paul.

He's showing his dedication, he's showing his place among them through his service, through his sacrifice, through his selflessness.

Verse 16.

Now granted, I did not burden you as as sly as I am.

I took you in by deceit.

He's being sarcastic again.

Did I take you, did I take advantage of you by any of those I sent you?

I urged Titus to go and I sent the brother with him.

Titus didn't take advantage of you, did he?

Didn't we walk in the same spirit and in the same footsteps?

So he's bringing back into question this Titus' visit.

Titus has come back and given a report.

Do any of you, and do any of us, is there some circumstance where you've been really hurt and find yourself wanting to withdraw?

The danger here is that even this isn't just a a pastor or an elder, but any any of us in a church circumstance, we can go through the same thing.

We can find ourselves, Paul is sounding burned to me.

Is that a good word?

He's sounding really burned.

He's sounding like he's been denied.

Someone has basically said, no, that sacrifice, the toil, the hardship, your investment, your living amongst the church in Corinth means nothing.

That's what they're saying.

Because that's all the testimony that you'd have to deny for this to be true.

The danger is in our own Christian walks, in our circles, in a church, that we can find ourselves in this position also feeling burned or hurt.

And Paul here is actually pressing in, he's writing them, he's trying to address it.

Paul's still engaging, he's still willing to spend and be spent.

But this is a really tough thing.

And in our own Christian circles and walks, we have to be really cognizant of when we're feeling burned or hurt, that we don't draw back.

But this is really tough to hear because sometimes that in Paul's case it'd be something you think he'd be saying, I cannot bear this anymore.

But then I've got to go back to verses 9 and 10.

Because that sounds like a hardship or persecution.

And what would Paul say?

Well, when I'm weak, then I'm strong.

We've got to confront these things for sure and watch out.

It's just one aspect of our church body and of our walks and our lives.

Paul says, Paul continues in 19.

Again, he's preparing these folks so that he can arrive.

He wants to prepare ahead for his visit.

In verse 19, have you been thinking all along that we were defending ourselves to you?

No, in the sight of God, we're speaking in Christ.

Everything, dear friends, is for building you up.

For I fear that perhaps when I come I will not find you to be what I want, and you may not find me to be what you want.

Perhaps there will be quarreling, jealousy, angry outbursts, selfish ambitions, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorder.

Paul's also saying, I'm not just defending myself here.

He's saying, really, and I say this in the in truthfulness, we're speaking about Christ in truth, and it's to build you up.

And if we read through a lot of Corinthians, Paul speaks about his ministries, powerful ministries.

Paul wants to build them up with these things, but he also wants to get it right so that there's no one, if these super apostles are casting doubt, his words are, there's gonna be a doubt on his preaching, on his words and his ministry.

He's trying to set this up so that he can be more effective when he arrives.

In verse 20, he says, I'm fearing that perhaps when I come, I won't find you like what I want.

He's saying, I'm fearing that you're not gonna, that there's gonna be those among you who are still not recognizing who I am, or that you're still in sin.

He says, You may find me to be, you may not find me to be what you want.

What is that?

I'm thinking Paul doesn't want them to find him confrontational or hurt.

Down on the whole scenario, he says some pretty specific things.

I'm pretty sure he's he's not just thinking generically it may not go well.

He's saying quarreling, jealousy, angry outbursts.

And the problem is that the quarreling, have you ever quarreled with somebody but never actually fought with them?

I I maybe this is just me, but having this like conversation in your head and and it's like about how you're right, and man, if I could, if they would just understand, and you're quarreling in your mind and your heart with them.

Maybe it's just me.

But and it's probably better that it's quiet, right?

But man, these are litmuses so that if we see these in our hearts, we can avoid them coming out.

Jealousy, definitely something that can be inside of us, not just coming out, but you know, it's like, oh man, that guy's ministry.

I wish I had that ministry.

Angry outbursts, so upset that it comes out, right?

Selfish ambitions about you and your your your great your uh the attention to you or getting your own, having your own accomplishments, arrogance.

These things shouldn't be in our hearts, let alone coming out.

Paul's saying, I'm kind of seeing these could be coming.

Let's make sure we really don't want this to be uh amongst us.

We don't want, I don't want this to be how our time goes.

He says, I fear that when I come, my God will again humiliate me.

This is verse 21.

How would Paul be humiliated?

It's a little hard to think, but I kind of think, well, you send your child to school, or maybe you have a sitter, and when you come back, you don't want to hear that they tore up a book or drew Sharpie in the wall or had a tantrum.

You don't want to go and be humiliated for how your kid was behaving, or that you have no effectiveness among a people.

Humiliated, like your work is your the fruit of your work is not showing itself.

He says, I will grieve for many who sinned before and have not repented.

He's wanting to make sure that there have been those that he he's he wants to be sure that they have repented and that he doesn't have to grieve when he gets there.

Overall, we see Paul in the passage.

Overall, he's trying to prepare ahead and trying to bring up these last, these other defenses of his apostleship.

But in the midst of it, he's saying, look, I'm boasting about these things, and there's a boast about this revelation.

But let me tell you, what I'm going to be boasting in, what I'm going to boast in, if we can just absolutely make sure this is clear, is that I really don't want to boast in all of these accomplishments, these things that make my ministry.

He says, I want to boast in my weaknesses.

And that is the paradox.

This week, as we're wrapping up, this week we'll all be confronted with thorns, with hardships, with trials, insults, hardships, with persecutions.

Paul is exhorting us to get that right and to embed the and to allow him to embed his word in our hearts and our minds so that when we when we approach them, we realize, well, the weaknesses, though I might not go around being awkward about them, but I'm going to boast about my weaknesses because when I boast about these things, that's when the power of God is strong in me.

That's when we're going to find ourselves so much more content with the circumstances and the trials and the hardships because it puts in perspective.

And let's let's put it this way too.

And if we're honest with ourselves, we can ask those questions.

Why do I have this anxiety?

What about these?

I'm getting panic attacks.

I can't get out of it.

I have struggled for this for years.

I've asked the Lord to take it for me.

That can be incredibly overwhelming.

Sometimes the Lord knows.

Does the Lord give Paul the thorn because of sin?

Or so that he won't sin?

He says, so that I wouldn't exalt myself.

A thorn in the flesh given to me so that I would not exalt myself.

It's not because he did, we don't read that, he maybe he did.

It's not so that he would exalt, it's not because he did exalt himself.

This happened so he wouldn't.

God is powerful and knowledgeable enough to know that there may be things in our lives that he needs to do, not because we sinned, but to keep us from sinning.

And if he knows that we get in a trial and we're saying, Why am I going through this?

It may be that God knows better, that we're better in that trial, because we're going to be crying out to him and pleading, and we're in a better position crying and pleading than we are outside of it.

And I don't know if you've been a trial, but sometimes it's really fast and quick that we're not pleading and crying out and recognizing our weaknesses and experiencing his power the moment the trial's gone.

And I think that Paul is experiencing Paul knows that.

It doesn't say we don't read the thorn went away.

In our own lives this week, as we as we as we go in amongst our days and our weeks, it's so easy to think, oh, this is why is this not going away?

And for the world to see us going through a hardship and to hear us complaining about our circumstances and stressing out, and I've done this this week, don't worry.

Is they see the they see the stress and they don't go see, oh, but the power of God is mighty in him.

And we've just blown it and we don't get the testimony of the Lord's work in our lives.

Anyone else experience that?

So may we go for this week and may the Lord people see the Lord through us in these trials and insults and hardships and persecutions because when we're weak, he is strong and he gets the glory as we're going through and walking through our lives.

Pray with me.

Father, we thank you so much for all you're doing and all you want to do in our lives.

We pray that you would show us.

Father, remind us by your Spirit that when we're weak, you are strong.

That we would take pleasures in infirmities and weaknesses and persecutions and hardships.

Father, that you would be strong among us.

Lord, that you would work in us for our own issues when in hurt, in being burned in in our Christian walks, Lord, that you by your spirit would work among us, in and amidst us, as there's offenses, as there's hardships.

Lord, that you would be, that you would show your power among us, that we'd walk in all the truth, and that you would bet it deep in our lives.

In Jesus' name, Amen.