Our Words | Ps. Keith Pittman

Welcome to the Celebration Church Orlando podcast.

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Alright, alright, church family, how you guys doing?

You guys doing good?

I love it, I love it, I love it.

We're so, so I'm glad that you are here.

If you have your Bibles, I want to invite you to join me in the Gospel of Matthew, chapter number five.

While you're turning there, I want to take a moment to um address the green elephant in the room.

I know that many who are part of our church community realize that for years I've stood on this platform and I have declared that the Philadelphia Eagles are indeed God's team.

And also with that declaration, there's been a rebellious spirit that has risen up that has tried to resist that.

Now, last week the Philadelphia Eagles were indeed involved in the Super Bowl, and it seems like they are the only ones who showed up.

And I know that you guys came here expecting for me to say some crazy things and to be disrespectful to the Chiefs fans, but this is the house of God, and we want to honor God's house.

And so today there will be no discussion about um the Philadelphia Eagles.

Is it hot in here?

Hey babe, can you can you hold this for me?

I'm just joking, I'm Petty Murphy.

We're gonna definitely be talking about the Eagles all year long.

There's so much I could say, but there's so much I need to say, so we're gonna we're gonna table this discussion, but it's gonna be a long year.

Um how about those chiefs?

Anyway, if you if you have your Bibles, we're gonna be continuing in our Sermon on the Mount series.

Over the past several weeks, we've been examining the the words, the ministry, the life of Jesus as discussed in the Sermon on the Mount.

And specifically, um, the point of emphasis has been Jesus talking about what does it mean to be a part of the kingdom of God.

He's talking to a group of people who have been oppressed by the government, he's talking to a group of people that have been manipulated by the religious folks.

And so Jesus is beginning to establish a new ethic that he's referring to as the kingdom of God.

And so as we've gone through this over the past couple of weeks, Jesus has addressed some things that are life-giving but also very challenging for us.

Um, I want to circle back real quick just in case if we have any youth in here.

Um, I think you guys heard me, but if there's any youth in here, you guys can be dismissed.

We have an amazing service for you guys in the back.

You see, I got that monitor up there, it talks to me and tells me the things.

So let me get back on track now.

Okay, so now we know that Jesus has been communicating these truths to us, and some of these truths have been very inspirational, talking about the blessed life, the good life, what it looks like and and and how we can receive these blessings.

But it's also been challenging at times where Jesus talks about the calling for us to live a life of impact, a life of sacrifice, a life of surrender.

Last week we talked about matters of the heart where we had to really examine and evaluate what's going on on the inside of us.

And quite honestly, Jesus continues in that same line of thought with the text that we're about to read here today.

What I want us to do is looking at Matthew chapter 5, we're gonna read verses 33 through 37.

Matthew 5 · chapter mention

Um, we have an on again, off again tradition where we read scriptures together and sometimes we don't, but today I want to read this passage together because I believe that there's power in declaring God's word together and in unison.

So I want to count up to three.

And on three, I want us to start reading from Matthew 5, 33, and we're gonna stop at 37.

You guys with me?

Okay.

One, two, three.

Again, you have heard that it was said by our ancestors, you must not break your oath, but you must keep your oaths to the Lord.

But I tell you, don't take an oath at all, either by heaven because it is God's throne, or by the earth because it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem because it is the city of the great king.

Do not swear by your head because you cannot make a single hair, white or black, but let your yes mean yes, and your no mean no.

Anything more than that is from the evil one.

Today I want to unpack this passage of scripture that quite honestly can be a little challenging for all of us, myself included.

Every time I stand on this platform and I prepare for God's word, it's it goes to me and through me, and then ultimately to you.

So as I was writing this sermon, it was very convicting, very eye-opening, but also very freeing.

And I'm hoping the same will be said of you.

If you're taking notes, and I hope that you are, I want you to write down this dismissed title, Our Words.

Let's pray and let's see what it is that God wants to speak to us today.

Lord, we thank you for your goodness.

We thank you so much for your grace, and we thank you for your truth that you make available to us because it is your truth that shall set us free.

So, Lord, I just pray over the next few moments that that I, that we can decrease so that we can hear everything that you have for us.

Lord, I pray in the name of Jesus that the Holy Spirit um begins to stir our hearts, stir our minds, and draw us ultimately closer to Christ.

So, Father, I pray for open eyes that we can see you.

I pray for open ears to hear you and open hearts to receive everything that you have for us.

It's in Jesus' name that we pray.

Amen.

Amen.

You know, church family, I've I've learned a lot of things about myself over the years, and I've been a lot more um reflective of myself over the years.

And and something that I can acknowledge is a truth is that is that my personality is a little bit of a contradiction.

And what I mean by that is that there's aspects of me that is very, very um, that's very like analytical, that's very dolden, that's very specific, that's very critical.

But then there's also this other side of me that is very like, go with the flow, let's just see what happens.

And sometimes that can create uh a little bit of inconsistency.

It also can create some confusion because there are moments when when Megan and I, when we're going on vacation, there are times where I'm like, hey, listen, we're going on vacation, we're only gonna be here for the next five days.

We want to maximize every single moment.

I'm looking at the itinerary, we're gonna get our money's worth while we're here.

And then the next time we go on vacation, I'm like, why are you in such a rush?

We're on vacation.

I'm trying to chill today.

Like it's just very, it could be very inconsistent, but that's just a part of how I know that I can say that I'm wired, which then can often lend itself to a space that when I'm having communication with family members, even with friends, when we're talking about making plans, I'm like, oh man, that sounds like an amazing idea.

But also that other part of me is like, man, we're just gonna go with the flow and kind of see when it all happens.

There's a little bit of truth in in both of it, and nothing will expose that more um than ultimately my family, because they'll they'll call you out on these things.

My my kids will specifically call me out.

There's there's like this running thread in our family.

We're like, hey dad, are you are you cooking today?

And I'm like, Of course I'm cooking.

I got the meat out, but I'm cooking.

Why are y'all asking me if you're cooking?

They're like, because you say that you're cooking and you're never cooking.

And I'm like, well, that's not true.

I just don't cook when y'all want me to, but it does eventually happen.

I'm going with the flow.

So they're all trying to figure this out.

But I can tell you, when it really became a little bit more convicting to me is what my is what my grandchildren now.

Every time they come to our house, there's always these routines that we follow as a family.

And and so that includes some version of cookies or hot chocolate's gonna be involved.

Um, there's always gonna be a measure of going for a walk or going on their bikes, and then there's always gonna be a moment when we go to the park.

That's just what we do.

And so there's always this moment of what's breaking down the itinerary or the events that we're gonna engage in while they're with us.

And and I remember specifically, probably about a year or so ago, um, my grandchildren were at our house and we were going through the routine and the the cookies were involved, hot chocolate was involved, and and when I say that, I'm talking about Megan made cookies and hot chocolate and I participated in the moment with them.

Um I was there.

Okay, relax.

Okay, calm down.

Um, so we were we were we were all there, but then there was a moment where we said, hey, the next day we're gonna go to the park together.

So I had a couple of meetings earlier in the day, and it was all planned that we were gonna go in the afternoon when I got back.

In my mind, I'm thinking to myself, like, absolutely, we're we're gonna go to the park.

I get home, and it's just one of those days we're just mentally exhausting.

It was one of those days where I was just fatigued.

I just I wasn't myself.

And as soon as I sat down, it was like I was melting into the seat, and as soon as I put my feet up on my recliner, my grandkids came to me with their shoes on saying, Come on, G Pop, it's time for us to go to the park.

I looked them in their eyes and I said, Um, hey, we're we're gonna go, um, but but just give me a little bit of time.

They were like, but no, you promised when you got home we are gonna go to the park.

And you know when your kids start like throwing things in your like, but you said, I'm like, hey, don't use my words against me.

That's not why I said them.

So in my mind, and this is being completely honest, in my mind, I'm thinking to myself, like, yeah, well, of course we're still going to go, but we're not going to go right now, so give me a little bit more time.

Now, here's the thing there's grace in our relationships, but it was in that moment when they walked away disappointed that I realized that our words really do carry weight.

That for us, we could be kind of in one of those go-with-the-flow moments, one of those moments of like, hey, we're gonna do it, we're gonna get to it shortly.

It's not necessarily a promise, or I'm not breaking it, but we're just asking for a little bit of fluidity in it.

But there are people out there that when we say things, they literally want us to follow through as expected.

In the times of Jesus, this was a major issue.

He he's dealing with a group of people who had been told over and over again that if you have something that you're trying to say, make sure you make an oath to confirm that it's truth.

This is the day before contracts, this is the day before they had any of these things.

So the way that they would reinforce what they were saying is they would make these promises, and those promises came in a form of an oath or swearing to something.

So when you're talking to someone and you're making this exchange, hey, I'm gonna give you these cows, and when the harvest comes in, you're gonna give me the first of your produce.

How do I know you're gonna follow through on it?

Hey, I swear by Israel I'm going to do it.

And when I would hear those words, I would believe that you were honestly going to follow through with it.

Here's the problem.

In that culture, they had all of these loopholes that allowed them to get out of the promises they were making.

So, Jesus' time, they would say, like, hey, I promise to you by Israel that you're gonna get this from me.

I I promise to you, um, I promise on the temple.

I put this on everything that I love.

We say these statements that are meant to reinforce this truth, but actually, it was a loophole that would allow them to speak with words of deception.

Jesus was speaking directly to that because it was a possibility for people to be able to manipulate their words in just a way that they're telling half truths or had no intentions on following through what they were saying, and it was causing significant distrust in their community.

I wonder if that sounds familiar to us now.

We we live in a world where we can find ourselves saying things that are not necessarily whole truths.

We can find ourselves leaning on things when we know that there may not be any intention on actually following through on it.

Let me let me give you a couple of examples, especially for us as Christians, because Christians we love to use biblical words and ideas to to show our spirituality, but sometimes the follow-through is not always the most sincere.

Let's say, let's say, for example, you're talking to someone and they're saying to you, like, hey, I'm going through this hardship, like, oh my god, I can't believe that.

I'm praying for you.

That was the prayer.

Or, hey, hey, let's let's make sure we catch up real soon, with no intentions of really catching up.

Or, or someone, hey, do you want to come with us to this thing next week?

You know what?

Let me let me think about it.

Knowing that we've already made our decisions up in our mind.

Over and over again, these little subtle things, these little white lies, as we call them, these ways that we minimize what it means to be an authentic person, it worked its way into our spiritual ecosystem, and now our word no longer means what it's supposed to mean.

We live in a time of my truth instead of the truth.

We we live in a time of alternate facts instead of the facts.

Politicians will utilize words and phrases that completely sidesteps the reality that people are living in and they shape a context that people immerse themselves in that bypasses what's currently going on.

Network news, depending on where you lean, they all manipulate information in a way that will continue to foster the emotions of thinking that the other people are indeed the crazy ones.

Social media has this brilliant ability of using the algorithms to make sure that we see exactly what we need to see to reinforce the echo chamber that we believe is a reflection of truth.

And ultimately this builds up a little bit of cognitive dissonance where we confront informations and we believe to, we begin to find ourselves building our beliefs around our feelings instead of allowing the truth to be the conduit and the standard by which we live.

In 2016, Oxford Dictionary said that post-truth was the word of the year.

The idea means that the truth is defined by circumstances, an emotional appeal, and that outweighs what the facts really are.

This is what Jesus is confronting then, and I believe this is what Jesus is confronting now.

When he says, Let your yes be yes, and your no being no, anything else is from the evil one, he's making it very clear.

Either you're being inspired by God or you're being influenced by the devil.

There is no in-between.

That when you're speaking, either you're speaking the truth through the lens of God, or we're not.

Well, ultimately, what Jesus is saying is stop bending reality to fit your narrative.

Jesus is not calling us to be people who speak truth only, he's calling us to be people who embody it.

He's saying to us that from the abundance of our hearts, our mouths will indeed speak.

He's challenging us to make sure that when we speak and when we use our words, that they're measured in such a way and they're being inspired by the Holy Spirit so that way when we speak, our words carry weight.

There's value attached to them.

But here's the truth of the matter.

We recognize that we live in a world where a lot of things happen.

There's a lot of there's a lot of nuances that begin to take place.

So how do we how do we get to a place where we recognize that maybe there's areas of our lives that we compromise in and get back on track?

You know, I took my son to get his car worked on um the other day, and I went with him because when we're talking about truth, God only knows that mechanists can be very selective in what they present to us from time to time.

So I went there with my son, fully aware of what I wanted them to work on.

And my son was concerned because he had this little meter on his on his dashboard that popped up.

And so when we took it to the shop, they said, hey, that that meter is not communicating that the car is falling apart.

It's just letting us know that it's time for us to evaluate what's going on under the hood.

I believe it's in moments like this that God will bring us to spaces where we can allow ourselves to evaluate what's really going on underneath the hood when I am speaking.

Because the truth of the matter is, when I am speaking, if it's not fully truth, there's something that's influencing me.

And we have to ask ourselves why?

Why do we bend the truth?

Why do we exaggerate?

Why do we say things that we don't intend to follow through on?

It's not as simple as just saying because you're a liar, but sometimes there's some things that are happening underneath the hood that we need to check out.

Here's one of the things that can be happening underneath the hood.

We're craving for validation.

We're just looking for validations.

We we live in a world that says you are what others think of you.

And so validation becomes the measuring stick of our self-worth.

It leaves us dependent on external feedback.

Now, I want us to understand that validation is a human desire that God has given us.

We want to be recognized, we we want to be appreciated, we all are looking for moments where we can feel affirmed this is very normal to look for these things.

The problem comes when my identity is built around those things.

When I'm when I'm craving them in such a way that I'm willing to do whatever I need to do just so I can get the validation for man.

We can exaggerate stories so that we can be a little bit more interesting.

We find a way to insert ourselves into other people's stories so that we can also get a little bit of attention.

This validation can sometimes become compulsive, and as the brain begins to release this dopamine of saying, like, look, you are important as well, it can also lead us to do some things that are contrary to what God's best is for our lives.

It's it sneaks in so quickly.

Think about when we sometimes post things on social media and then we instantly go back to see how many people liked it, how many people are commenting on it.

We're constantly looking back at it and we're wondering, well, well, when so-and-so posted that, they got this many likes, but how come that person didn't like mine?

And I posted the exact same thing.

We're we're looking for the validation of man.

I I've seen this in my own life in a multitude of ways.

Being a preacher of God's word, there's these moments when, yes, you receive feedback, you receive words of encouragement.

I'm a words of affirmation person.

I remember when I first began to preach and what I would call like the mega church online internet era.

This is back when you began to like hear feedback online.

And I remember when I was living in Jacksonville at this at this massive church, about 15,000 people, and I would preach there maybe like once per quarter.

And so the first time I preached, I remembered opening up my social media account, and man, they were like, yo, this dude is the best preacher I've ever seen in my entire life.

And I'm like, Yes, he is.

Um so then after they saw the buzz that it created, then they asked me to preach again a couple weeks later.

I preached again, same thing.

People were like, yo, did you hear that message?

Like, oh my gosh, that that was that was insane.

And I'm like, Yes.

Yes.

Third time I preached, fourth time I preached.

Next thing you know, every time I preached, people were coming and they were expecting, like, and they were announcing, like, hey, Pastor Keith's gonna be preaching, and and it just began to build and it began to build and it began to build, and there was this momentum, and I would go online and my name's being mentioned, and man, it felt good.

But then I was asked to preach specifically on a segment of scripture that was a little bit more challenging.

We were inside of a series and Corinthians, and and 1 Corinthians has these passages that are that are beautiful, but they also have some passages that are challenging.

And there's this passage specifically that talks about sex and sexuality, and it can confront us a little bit.

And when I remember standing on that platform and I studied the way that I normally study, I examined God's word the way that I normally do, and I preached the truth from God's word.

But man, the next day, the shadows weren't there like they were before.

People weren't amening me like they were before.

They weren't shouting me down, it was none of that.

People were walking out of the church and not even giving me eye contact.

So, you know what happens when you have this dopamine release of this is the best message ever to people not want to give you eye contact?

It made me wonder if I did something wrong.

That's a possibility.

But I remember sitting with that because I wasn't receiving the feedback that I was used to receiving.

Interestingly enough, about two years later, when I was living in DC, I was asked to preach on the exact same passage again.

I remember that moment of me preaching this hard text that was confronting and very uncomfortable, and I was like, man, I I don't want to revisit that.

So when I rewrote the message, I glossed over the hard parts.

I kind of like just mentioned them, but I kept it going.

I I I acknowledged that they were there, but I but I wanted to emphasize more of the other side instead of the side that was actually challenging us to change our behavior.

The people clapped, the people smiled, they were like, Amen.

But that was the one and only time when I stepped off the platform that God said to me, I'm glad you got the applause from man, but you didn't get it from me.

It was when I was confronted with this reality that if we're not careful, we can find ourselves chasing after the validation of man and miss the well done from God.

I remember that feeling that night, a feeling like I missed the mark completely because I was looking to get man's approval instead of God's anointing.

I miss what God was pressing me to do under the pressure of feeling as if I fit in.

Family and friends, what I'm communicating to you is that it's possible for you to be doing the things of God and completely miss God because you're so focused on a reaction from God's people.

And what God is ultimately saying is yes, those things matter, but nothing is more important than recognizing that I am validated in the presence of God.

I I have learned a valuable lesson since then that I will stand ten toes down on the truth of God's word.

In the times past, I used to honestly believe that maybe I need to protect people from God.

How ridiculous is that?

I need to protect people from God's word.

So when there's a con when there's a when there's a topic in there that's a little bit harder to receive, well, let me find a way for us to say it in a way that's more graceful because after all, that's how you're gonna grow your church.

I will have friends tell me, like, hey, you gotta stay away from these topics because when you talk about that, it it isolates people.

So so don't preach on these, don't preach on these.

But if you preach on this, you'll you'll grow your church.

But guess what?

You're not growing people.

So I felt like God began to say, Are you doing this for me?

or are you Doing this for them?

Are you going to live in alignment with me, or are you going to continue to chase after the goals of man which can change overnight?

I can speak for anybody else, but what I can say for me is for me in my house, we're going to serve God.

I've recognized a long time ago that I am going to live for the audience of one.

And I believe that God is challenging all of us to make sure that when we speak, we're speaking in a way that's going to be honoring to God.

That we recognize that sometimes we're not going to get the affirmation from man.

That sometimes the people aren't going to pat us on the back and tell us, good job.

And if I'm looking for that, I can compromise who I am to chase after that.

But this is why I believe God gives us a glimpse in his word where it says that David encouraged himself in the Lord.

Because there were some people that wouldn't pat him on the back.

In fact, all of the people that were supposed to be with him were talking about him.

If he was so consumed with validations from man, he would have completely walked away from his calling.

But because David knew that he was in fellowship with God, the word of God says that David encouraged himself in the Lord.

I'm here to talk to somebody right now that maybe you're wondering how come they don't pat me on the back?

How come they don't shout me out?

And I can't speak to that.

But what I can tell you is that God is saying, Well done, my good and faithful servant, that David encouraged himself in the Lord, and so do we.

That we need to recognize these moments that God is challenging us to stop chasing after the accolades of people because sometimes our desire to get confirmed by people, it could cause us to say things that are inconsistent with our character.

Here's another thing that can sometimes happen because it's not always meant to be vilified, but for some people, the reason why we can extend ourselves beyond our comfort is because we're just afraid of disappointing people.

At its core, we just want to make everybody happy.

There's nothing wrong with that.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a person who leaves positive impact and influence in people's lives.

Who doesn't want to do that?

But it can sometimes get a little bit unhealthy where we're not even checking in on ourselves and we find ourselves overextended.

See, people pleasing, it will masquerade as kindness, but underneath it is actually fueled by anxiety and insecurity.

People pleasing is often rooted in our home or influences of origin.

And here's what that means: that means that somewhere along the lines, we recognize y'all didn't know y'all came here for a counseling session.

I'm not even gonna charge y'all for this.

This is like 90% of the therapy that we do.

You somewhere along the lines when you were when you were growing up, you had picked up that as long as I perform well, that I am treated well.

So we end up wiring that into the way that we function, and now we say, hey, as long as I say yes, then I'm good.

As long as I'm making people happy, then I'm good.

And we call that a hustle for love mentality.

As long as I'm doing what you need me to do, then I'm going to do it because I want to make everybody happy.

The sad thing is though, it comes at the expense of our peace.

So when we're invited to do things, we say to ourselves, yes, I I'd love to do that, knowing in the back of our mind there's nothing more we would want to do less.

When we're invited to say, hey, you want to come and check out this new restaurant, you're like, absolutely not.

But you're like, yes, yes, I do want to go with you to this restaurant that is overpriced and I'm on a budget and the food is terrible, but yes, I want to go.

Absolutely, I want to go.

Because somewhere along the lines, we were made to believe that if we say no, that somehow we're no longer in fellowship with people.

When sometimes when we're asked to serve at an event, like, hey, listen, I know that you've served every single week for the past six weeks, but we also have this outreach opportunity on Saturday from 8 a.m.

to 8 p.m.

You love God, don't you?

And we're not giving you any food or water.

But be on time.

And stay late and also help us to pick up the chairs when we're done.

If I say no, what does that mean?

If I say that I just need a day to rest, what does that mean?

If it doesn't mean that I'm being selfish, does it mean that I'm being self-centered?

So, in an effort to make sure that everyone thinks that I'm a good Christian, I'ma say yes.

But unfortunately, that does not build kindness, but it does build resentment.

Because we find ourselves doing everything we can do to make people happy.

We prioritize other people's happiness over our own integrity, and we're living as a shell of ourselves because we've been conditioned to people please.

These are the things that can sometimes be happening underneath the hood that leads us to spaces where we're speaking things that are not rooted in the truth.

But there's encouragement for us.

I want all of us to know that we can step off of this exhaustive treadmill of image management.

That in God, he sees you as you are, and you are validated in him.

That in God, he sees you as you are and he loves you as you are.

That doesn't mean that there are not going to be moments that we need that we don't need to sacrifice.

I want to be very, very clear because what I don't want is for any of us to walk away and saying, like, man, if I say yes to something I don't want to say yes to, that's me people pleasing.

And the pastor told me I need to say no.

That's not what I'm saying.

I'm trying to keep your marriage whole.

There are going to be things that you're going to have to do that you may not want to do.

That's just a part of being in the community.

That's that's a social contract.

That's a part of it.

Yes, I am in a marriage.

So when my wife asks me, hey, do you want to go to the store with me?

What do I do in that moment?

I want to be with you, but not there.

So is there any way that we can be together and it doesn't cost me any money?

Oh, that's not an option?

Then yes, honey, I do want to go with you to the store.

Absolutely.

And that is why we've been together for 29 years.

Take note.

So absolutely, there are going to be moments that require things of you that you don't want to do.

That's what sacrifice is.

I'm talking about when we completely ignore something that we know that's against the core of who we are, and we're only saying yes to please other people.

That can lead us to a place of burnout, exhaustion, and to make terrible decisions.

So God is saying, let's not function that way.

Let's be true to who we are.

Let's learn what it means to have to have sacrifice that we give to one another.

But by all means, make sure that you know that you're validated in me.

So I want to give us three simple, quick points that I think are practical that can help us as we're looking to get back on the track of being people who are mindful of our words.

Here's the first thing I want you to write down: Examine your heart before you speak.

Jesus reminds us that our words do not originate from our mouths, but they flow from the condition of our hearts.

That words are often a symptom of deeper emotional, even psychological patterns.

And when we're speaking into things and we're invited to do things, or we're just having casual conversations, let's ask ourselves, why am I saying this?

Am I saying this because I want to please people?

Am I saying this because maybe in me saying these things it can bring me some measure of approval?

Or am I saying this because I'm just trying to avoid conflict?

What I believe God is inviting us to do in these moments is before we speak, to evaluate the condition of our hearts so that we can make sure that our hearts and our words are in radical alignment.

Here's the second thing I want us to write down.

Commit to radical truth, delivered with grace.

Commit to radical truth, delivered with grace.

I'm going to say this the third time for the people in the back.

Commit to radical truth, but make sure that it is delivered with grace.

Ephesians chapter 4, 15 says this speaking the truth and love.

Ephesians 4 · chapter mention

Speak the truth and love.

We live in a world that if we don't want to hurt people's feelings, that we can speak nothing but grace and there's no truth behind it, or we also live in a world where I'm going to speak the truth and I don't care who it offends, and neither one of them are Jesus.

We don't have permission to speak the truth in a way that brings people harm and say that I'm speaking the truth.

I'm going to tell it like it is.

There's nothing, kingdom, about that.

Truth without grace wounds the soul.

Grace without truth distorts reality.

We need to make sure that when we're speaking, that we're mindful of both, that I understand that I'm going to speak the truth, but I'm also going to be mindful of how it's being delivered.

I I remember many, many years ago, being in the hospital room with a young lady whose father had just gotten into a motorcycle accident.

When I arrived there, it was her, it was her mother, it was her brother, a couple other friends from the church, and I was just there as pastoral support.

And I wasn't quite sure of the extremes of the accident.

I was just told, like, hey, my father was in an accident, can you come out and pray with us?

And so when I got there, it it didn't, it didn't look good.

I remember sitting in the room with the the daughter and her trying and believing God that he was going to be healed, and me wanting to link arms with her and speak words of life, but also recognizing the current reality we found ourselves in.

While we were there, and I'm trying to balance the dichotomy of encouraging and speaking words of hope and recognizing that God is present, but also not wanting to build false hope, and you're just walking in this sensitive spot.

The doctor walks in and we're kind of having like this spiritual moment, and the doctor walks in, he kind of pauses and waits for us to get done, and we look over and we see him, and I'm like, okay, yeah, the doctor's here.

And he looks at her, he looks at the mom and says, like, yeah, your father's not gonna make it, and just turned and walked away.

And here, I am not a doctor.

But what I can tell you is, I know that that job is hard, but I also suspect there was a better way to say that.

I suspect there was a way to acknowledge and say, Listen, we did everything we could.

I know that you're a person of faith.

Whatever there's a way to say the truth in a way that doesn't completely crush somebody's soul.

This is what God is saying to us.

No one's saying don't tell the truth, but make sure we're mindful of how it's being experienced.

One of the things that I learned as a husband, particularly when I especially when we started going through counseling, not only as individuals, but when we began our academic counseling journey, is that it's not just a matter of what you say, but it's how you say it.

My wife has been saying that to me for years.

It's not what you said, it's how you said it.

And I'm like, do you want to come up here?

You're preaching in a couple weeks.

You can say what you want to do, but right now I'm gonna tell my truth.

Anyway, like so, so, but here's the thing.

In my earlier years of my marriage, when she would say, like, hey, I don't like the way you said that, like, I would say, like, that sounds like a you problem.

I didn't say it out loud, I said I thought to myself, like, that that sounds like a you don't like the way that I said something.

So the way that I would get around it, I'm like, hey, that wasn't my intent.

So that became the escape clause when I said something that she didn't like the way I said it, hey, that wasn't my intent.

I didn't mean for it to come across that way.

I if I if I offended you, sorry.

That's we we say these things, right?

But but I began to look at things a little bit differently.

And the way that I began to look at things is not a matter of what I'm saying, but how am I being experienced?

When I say these words to my wife, what is her experience of me?

Because if I'm saying things just to be heard, but not to be received, that's literally an environment that creates abuse.

But when I'm mindful of my words and I know how they are being received, it allows me to speak the truth, but in a way that I know that she can receive and understand it.

I'm trying to help some marriages right now.

It's not our responsibility to say what we want to say and leave somebody to deal with the bombs after we drop them.

It's actually our responsibility to be mindful because we love the people we're talking to, to be sensitive of their experience for us so that we can speak the truth with love.

I think it's interesting how we want grace to flow to us, but we never want it to flow from us.

When we make a mistake, hey, give me grace, but where's that same grace when I need it from you?

What I believe Jesus is challenging us to do in these moments is to make sure that when we speak the truth that we do it in love.

And here's the third and final things let's do our best, whenever possible, to follow through on our commitments.

Ecclesiastes 5 5 says this it is better to not make a vow than to make one and not fulfill it.

That it's important for us to understand that chronic commitment and broken promises can begin to create low self-worth and fear of disapproval.

Whenever possible, that when we're speaking words and we're we're saying we're gonna do something to do our best with following through.

Now, here's where grace comes in.

There are gonna be nuances, there are gonna be challenges, there's gonna be moments where things don't line up the way that we thought they were gonna line up, and then it's in our responsibility to communicate said things.

But whenever possible, let's be people, followers of Christ, that follow through on our commitments.

This is something that's profoundly personal to me on a multitude of levels.

Several years ago, when I was still living back in Jacksonville, I remember a young man came up to me and he said, Hey, I would love for you to officiate my wedding.

And so I was like, okay, absolutely, man.

Like I hadn't been doing a lot of weddings, my preaching calendar wasn't that full.

So I was like, absolutely, like whatever you need, like let me know what the date is and and we'll and we'll do it.

So the date was like nine months from the time that we had the conversation.

I'm like, all right, cool, man, I'll I'll put it down and we'll we'll work from there.

I hadn't seen the guy in about six months since then.

So I'm thinking to myself, and as time moves on, I'm I'm I honestly forget all about it.

And then, like two weeks before the wedding, I get an email from the wedding planner with a breakdown of all the activities that are going to be happening.

I have since filled my calendar with a bunch of other things.

I was actually traveling that weekend.

I completely forgot about it.

I hadn't seen him, there was no follow-up.

And so there are moments when we were on that journey, I'm like, man, I need to check with this guy.

Like, is he still, does he still want me to do his wedding?

I hadn't literally seen him in months, but I continued to move forward.

So now here we are, two weeks from the wedding day, and the wedding planner is asking me, Hey, what time are you gonna be there?

All these other things.

So I had an assistant at the time.

I was like, hey, let them know that I'm not available.

Like, I I got another pastor that can come and do it for them.

And so I remember the other pastor went, he he did the wedding, but when I saw that young man again, I could see that it crushed his soul.

I still remember the look in his eyes of disappointment.

And and now I'm I I feel this regret because I'm like, dang, I I wish I would have just circled back and and checked in with him.

As time was moving on, I should have followed up with him to see.

And I hate that that I left a mark in his soul.

And if there's anything that that challenges me more as a pastor, is this very concept of being a shepherd of a church of our size, that it's still challenging to connect with every single person, the text messages, and and many of you guys are still waiting for text message response.

I promise I'm gonna get to it at some point.

I'm gonna follow through on that commitment.

But but it can be overwhelming, and and you get busy and you get sidetracked, and you want to do coffee with this person, you want to do dinner with this person, and the schedule gets away from you, and and and before long you have people who are just wounded waiting.

And I hate that I could have been a person that perpetuated that.

Our words matter.

And so one of the things that I'm working on, I'm a work in progress, is that I want to make sure that I count the cost before I commit.

I want to make sure that I'm actually available before I can do it, and I'm gonna do everything I can do to follow through on it.

And if I can't, we'll have a conversation because we're all adults and that's what we do.

But the reason why I say that is because it's a journey for all of us to be people who are responsible for the words that we speak.

Because there are people that are looking at us and they're trying to take us out our words and they're wondering if we're gonna follow through.

And so Jesus is challenging the community of faith.

Can you not just tell the truth, but can you embody it?

And if there's moments where you say something that you're not able to follow through on it, can you handle it appropriately?

This is a challenging message for me, but I pray that it's a challenging message for you.

Because what if the community of faith could actually be known as folks that don't live with alternate facts, but we live by God's spoken truth.

With every head bowed and every eye closed, Lord, I thank you.

I thank you, Lord, for you making your word available to us.

I thank you, Lord, for the truth which sets us free.

God, I pray for our community, every single one of us who maybe we have been on the receiving end of people who didn't follow through.

God, I pray that you heal those wounds in the name of Jesus.

Father, I pray for those of us who sometimes want to people please and looking for opportunities to be available at every opportunity, hoping that that somehow we can get validation and we're seeking the approval of man at the expense of us overextending ourselves.

God, I pray that we can recognize that we're validated in you.

And Father, I also I repent.

I repent for moments where I didn't follow up, I didn't follow through.

We're we're all on this journey together, but God, I I pray that that I could be an example of letting us measure our words and measure our commitments because we want to be a community that our word means something.

So I repent before our church and I pray that all of us repent in our hearts for the times that we've spoken words that we didn't follow through on, those times when we were seeking affirmation of man and we overextended ourselves or for even continuing to people please at the expense of our own peace.

God, we surrender it to you with a belief of knowing that you're going to heal, restore, and redeem.

Staying where you are, I want to ask this question of us.

Maybe you're in here with us right now, and you know that your next step is to simply say yes to Jesus because he is the truth, and he is the truth that will set us free.

And and I want to speak a very real truth to us right now.

The Bible says that there's no way to make it to the Father except through the Son.

That's the truth of God's word.

There's no alternate ways into the kingdom of God.

It goes through Jesus, and it starts with our surrender.

So if you're in here with us today and you're ready to commit or recommit your life to Christ, I want to give you the space to simply lift a hand so that we can include you in a prayer.

On account of three, to say yes to commit or recommit your life to Christ.

One, two, three.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

God bless you guys.

Amen.

Amen.

You go ahead and put those hands down.

Church, can we celebrate with everybody who's just said yes to Jesus as being the truth?

Let us stand on our feet.

We're gonna go back into a moment of worship, of collectively coming together and exalting the name of Jesus.

But before we do that, I do want to pray with those who have just said yes to Jesus.

I truly believe it's the best decision that you could ever make.

And we're gonna come alongside you and help you as a church, and we're gonna demonstrate that right now by praying this prayer with you.

So, all of us together, let's pray this prayer in unison.

Say these words with me.

Say, Lord Jesus, I repent of my sins.

I believe you died on the cross and that you rose from the dead, and today I am saved.

Fill me with your spirit and order my steps.

In Jesus' name.

If you prayed that prayer, we believed with the confession of your mouth and the belief in your heart that you are saved.

And the Bible says that all of heaven is celebrating with you, and we're celebrating with you right now.

So now we're going to collectively go into a time of worshiping God.

So let this be a moment where we can lift our hands up.

Let's receive the love and grace of God, knowing that He is more than able.

Thank you for joining us to learn more about Celebration Orlando, a church devoted to reaching the lost, equipping the found, and helping the hurting.

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