Inward Beauty vs. Outward Beauty | Shawn Miller

Now the title for the sermon.

This morning I was again struggling with what do I title this sermon?

Not that it's that important, but I also know that Isaac is going to ask me for a title for the sermon this morning, so I had to have something.

So this morning I think I'm going to go with Inward Beauty vs Outward Beauty.

Or a second title I had was A Godly Marriage, because Peter chooses to use the example of a husband and wife when he goes through the difference of inward beauty versus outward beauty.

Before we read the text, I'll begin with just an illustration.

So with my job at work, where my office is at, my office is right, basically there's a wall between my office and the front door and I have a window facing out towards the parking lot and oftentimes during the day, we get many salesmen, we get many vendors, we have dealers stopping in, we have customers stopping in, get many vendors, we have dealers stopping in, we have customers stopping in, and I often see, when people drive up and I notice that oh, here's a stranger, I've never seen this person before and I do really need to watch myself that before I even speak a word with them, or before they're even in the front door, that I haven't stereotyped them into who I think they are with, just going on first impressions.

We have people drive in in black Escalades and they might come into the front door and I'll notice they're maybe a Rolex or a few thousand dollars or at least a few hundred dollar watch.

And sometimes they come in all dressed up in the finest attire.

And then also I notice people drive up in a very modest vehicle and I notice that they're dressed.

They're nicely dressed but in very modest clothing, and they'll come in the front door.

And even those people I have to watch that I don't stereotype into a good stereotype before I even talk with them.

As we go through the meetings, as we sit down around our conference table and we get to know these people, no matter.

Is it the guy driving the black Escalade or is it the person driving a very modest, whatever it could be?

By the time they leave I find that I am no longer even thinking about what they drive or the watch on their arm or the clothes that they're wearing.

But I'm drawn to.

Are they a nice person with a gentle spirit or are they a rude person with a cocky attitude?

It no longer is appearance, but I am then drawn to their inner man, their inner, either beauty or ugliness, no matter what I see in their outward appearance.

Let's read 1 Peter 3, verses 1 through 7.

1 Peter 3:1–7

1 Peter 3, verse 1.

1 Peter 3:1

Likewise, wives be subject to your own husbands so that, even if some do not obey the word 1 Peter 3, verse 1, on of gold, jewelry or the clothing you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which, in God's sight, is very precious.

1 Peter 3:1

For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, and you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

And men, in case you were thinking you're going to get off scot-free this morning, verse 7, likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

And that's where we'll stop this morning.

So in I think it was two sermons ago, talking in the context of 1 Peter, I looked at our response to civil authority, the need for us, as believers, to respect the authority, the civil authority under which we live.

Now, if we look at the context of this setting, remember at the beginning of 1 Peter we had these exiles dispersed into five different areas and in this time and era, a lot of these areas were under the Roman rule and the Roman rule was not from a Christian viewpoint.

So they were enduring persecution.

There was a lot of opposition to their faith, but here Paul is telling them be submissive to your leaders.

Now he says likewise, and he brings it into a more personal space between husband and wife, and I figure Peter decided he's going to write so that we can all understand what he's saying.

Now I know there are some of you sitting here this morning that aren't in a marriage relationship.

However, even if we're specifically talking about the wives or we're talking to the husbands, there's something here for all of us this morning, because a lot of what we're going to talk about this morning can actually go both ways.

But in the context that Peter is using, we are going to specifically address wives and then we'll also address husbands.

But keep that in mind.

A lot of the principles we're sharing this morning are meant and can go both ways.

So he says likewise, wives.

Just as there needs to be submission and respect shown to civil authority and to our earthly masters, whoever we're serving under, peter is saying there needs to be a structure of authority, respect and submission in our homes, in our marriages.

God has ordained a headship order, and a lot of what I'm going to be talking about this morning will not be new to many of you, but I think it's good that we remind ourselves.

I'd like to take a look you don't have to turn to it, but just to go back and see the order that God has ordained as a leadership structure in our homes.

In 1 Corinthians 11, verses 1 through 3, paul says this be imitators of me as I am of Christ.

1 Corinthians 11:1–3

Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions.

Then he says in verse 3, so to translate that into our own words, paul is saying just as Christ submitted to the Father and we all know, jesus went through quite a few things that he would have rather not gone through when he was in his human flesh here on earth we have the example in the Gospels of Jesus being in the Garden of Gethsemane, basically pleading to the Father to let this cup pass from me, but not my will that thine be done.

So as Christ was called to be subject to His Father, so we as husbands are called to be subject to his father.

So we as husbands are called to be subject to Christ.

That is our place in the headship order.

And as we as husbands are called to be in subjection to Christ, so the ladies, the wives, are called to be subject to her husband as her head.

Now this doesn't mean that the wives in any marriage relationship this morning, that we're looking at the wives as a doormat for us husbands just to rule and reign and to walk over and to not use their ideas, not give them input.

That is not what Peter or Paul are saying.

But we do have the headship order of the head of the woman is the husband, the head of the husband is Christ and the head of Christ is the Father God, verse 1,.

Likewise, wives be subject to your own husbands so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives.

The influence of a godly wife is often underestimated.

Peter says the influence of a godly wife has the power to bring an unbelieving husband to the Lord, and the conduct of a godly wife is even stronger than the words that she might speak.

It is not the words I will say this morning, but rather the conduct of a godly wife that casts the most influence.

How many of you husbands would agree that we are often affected by the actions and attitudes of our better halves?

Does anybody want to give an example?

What's that?

You don't want to get in trouble?

Okay, we'll give you a pass.

I think we would all agree that our wives have a great influence on us as husbands and on our children.

Our children spend most of their time in their youngest stages of their lives in the presence of their mom or their school teacher, because us, as dads, are usually at work.

So our wives carry a huge influence.

Moms, you carry a huge influence, and I know this is not Mother's Day that's next week and I'm going to reserve that in case Randy wants to have a Mother's Day sermon.

But I will say this morning you as moms, you as wives, are very influential.

If you realize that or not, a godly woman is a powerful person.

Peter is calling you as wives to be respectful and pure in conduct.

This can be extremely difficult for the wife whose husband is not in his rightful place in the headship order, but Peter does not give an excuse or a loophole for even the wife that is in that situation.

But Peter says depending on your attitude, depending on your attitude, depending on your inner beauty, you can be influential in drawing that person back to Christ.

In verse 3, I'd like to read verse 3.

Do not let your adorning be external the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear but let your adorning be external the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which, in God's sight, is very precious.

So here Peter takes the inward versus the outward.

Peter contrasts outward adornment with inward beauty.

I'm not going to go back and read the whole passage, but in Isaiah 3, verses 16, through I think it's 26, god has some strong warning to the women of Israel in their haughty spirit, and he says they actually walk around with their heads held high.

Isaiah 3:16

I'm going to read verses Isaiah 3, verses 16 and 17.

Isaiah 3:16

Listen what the Lord has to say to this.

The Lord said because of the daughters of Zion are haughty and walk with outstretched necks, glancing wantonly, with their eyes, mincing along as they go, tinkling with their feet.

Therefore, the Lord will strike with a scab the heads of the daughters of Zion and the Lord will lay bare their secret parts.

God has some strong language for any of us that look at outward adornment as more important than inward adornment.

So what does the word adorn mean?

In the Greek it uses the word cosmos.

It means to add something for the purpose of making something else more attractive.

A while back I was at a meeting and I was sitting beside a gentleman and I look over and he had this nice fancy watch and the watch caught my attention.

And as I was looking at the watch, all of a sudden I discovered it doesn't even work, because his time was way off from what the normal time was.

It didn't leave a good taste in my mouth.

It didn't leave a good impression.

Outward beauty versus inward beauty.

Godly character is more beautiful than physical charm.

Godly character is more beautiful than physical charm.

Now I know we all like to when we dress to go away.

We all like to look decent.

We all like to look good.

We like to look at.

Do my clothes, do they match?

Are they working in opposition to one another?

We like to look neat, but adornment to where we draw attention to our outward beauty versus what is on the inside.

Solomon, as he should know, with the many wives and concubines that he had, had this to say in Proverbs 11, verse 22, like a gold ring in a pig's snout, is a beautiful woman without discernment, and that can go for us as men as well.

Proverbs 11:22

So Peter uses three things where people often try to adorn themselves and, as I thought through this, I'm like man.

He's right.

Those are the three things that we usually focus on when we try to make ourselves look really good or try to make ourselves look like somebody we're not.

He uses the hair, he uses jewelry and he uses fine clothes, and I think we can throw them all into the same bucket, because Peter uses all three.

One is not necessarily worse than the other.

All three have to do with enhancing and making us look better than we actually are.

None of these three the braiding of the hair or how we have our haircuts or how we trim our beards, or, however, none of the hair.

Or how we have our haircuts, or how we trim our beards, or, however, none of these three.

How much jewelry we wear is it expensive watches?

Is it gold jewelry, whatever that might be?

Or the expensive clothes that we wear in order to make an impression on whoever that might be?

None of these enhance the inward beauty.

It actually detracts from the inward beauty.

None of these enhance inner beauty or end the character.

Real beauty is eternal and is that which draws an unbeliever to Christ.

What Paul is saying here wives, if your husband is not a believer, do not try to attract him by beautifying the outward.

That is not going to work, that is not going to last.

But he says, your pure conduct, a gentle and quiet spirit, will be far more attractive to bring your unbelieving husband to Christ.

One's inner beauty is rooted in one's heart.

What is in our heart will come out.

If my heart is full of temporal things, if my heart is full of making as much money as I can, if my heart is full of living like the Joneses, if my heart is full on making that best impression to the next person I meet, or if I know I'm meeting with this very wealthy man.

Well, I want to make a good impression on him.

Then.

That's what's in my heart, what is in my heart this morning?

What is in your heart this morning?

The inner beauty is rooted in the core of a person's heart.

It comes from the heart.

All of our external bodies will eventually age, trust me, I'm 50 years old and, as was mentioned, grace Point, we have a ball team back at Winesburg this year and I'm still not sure if I made a wise choice.

But I did choose to help play ball this year and I'm really enjoying it.

But always in the back of my mind I'm like am I going to be able to get out of bed the next morning?

Our outward appearance diminishes with age, deminishes with age.

Our inward beauty Enhances as we mature in Christ.

Our inward beauty is the magnet that draws people to us.

The way we portray God with our inward beauty Draws people to him Because we're showing Him in an accurate way.

The outward adornment works against that.

While the external body ages, the internal nature of a woman is imperishable.

Peter is saying this it will not decay but will even become more beautiful.

I'd like to look at verse.

Read verse 4 again.

But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.

What do we mean by a gentle and quiet spirit?

Being gentle and quiet, like I mentioned before, does not mean that you as wives are simply a doormat, that us men have the right to just make all the decisions or to just do whatever we think is best.

In Christ's eyes, we are equals, although us as men are called to the leadership roles in our homes with the headship order that God has ordained.

And we'll get to the men in just a minute.

So, men, you have a few more minutes to be comfortable.

Then we're going to hit you with a couple of things A meek or a gentle and quiet spirit.

A gentle and quiet spirit will also make it possible for a wife to stay in her rightful place, even if her husband is not in his rightful place.

Think through that.

That is the hardest place for a woman to be, to be in their place of the headship order when the husband is not.

And husbands, this morning I challenge us are we in that rightful place?

Are we subject to Christ, as we think our wives need to be subject to us?

Where are we in the headship order?

A gentle spirit.

Most of us would agree.

Agree, most of us men would agree that if one of our children falls down and skins their knee or they hurt their, whatever it could be, why don't they usually come to dad running wanting to be fixed up or wanting to be cared for?

They go to their mom, our wives, wives, and part of that is because of the gentle spirit of the ladies.

That is what God's looking for, a gentle spirit in quiet humility.

That is what draws the unbeliever to Christ.

That's a picture of Jesus far more effective than anything that adorns the outward.

A Christian wife is to adorn herself with inner godly qualities which will enhance her beauty and will be more compelling to her unbelieving husband and will eventually help bring her husband to Christ if she is dwelling with an unbeliever.

Verse 7,.

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life.

So that your prayers may not be hindered, we, as husbands, are called to be sensitive to the needs and preferences of our wives.

What does it mean to honor our wives?

Live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor.

I must say I have failed in always showing honor to my lovely wife.

And just because us men come home from work and our minds are still spinning at 80 miles an hour and we're rehearsing the miles an hour and we're rehearsing the day's events and we're rehearsing what?

All we have to do that evening?

Is it a meeting, or is it work on the outside?

Or is it bills to pay, or is it dealing with whatever it might be, dealing with some of the children?

Whatever might be, we have absolutely no excuses to be rude or to dishonor our wives.

This is what Peter is saying.

We must seek to know her thoughts and feelings.

And I know most of the couples in here.

Your personalities are probably different.

Your love languages are probably different.

How am I doing with seeking out the love language of my spouse?

How am I doing in being sensitive to giving her time to talk, giving her time to vent at times, giving her time to speak, without then being the fix-it person?

Oh, I can fix that.

No, she might not be looking for you to fix things.

Something that's helped Bernita and I over the years is if I come home from work and she needs to talk about something.

If I literally ask, do you want me to fix it or do you just want me to listen?

And I'll tell you 99% of the time she just wants me to listen.

Am I sensitive to the needs and the feelings and thoughts of my wife?

By being sensitive and showing that I care, I'm honoring her, even if it means laying aside something on my agenda.

We must not be selfish or callous, as some of us men at times tend to be, but we must be understanding.

And it might mean laying aside one of my hobbies that I wanted to do that evening, or telling her that I'll take care of the children tonight.

You go, take some solitude, go to a coffee shop and just spend some time by yourself.

How am I caring?

How am I honoring my wife?

We are called to show honor to our wives through love and respect.

Through love and respect.

Although she may be the weaker partner physically I don't believe Paul or Peter is saying that she is the weaker intellectually or spiritually we are one in Christ.

We are heirs together of the grace of life.

We both need salvation, the husband and the wives, husbands.

And I don't think this is a case here, but there are cases where the husband might be living with an unbelieving spouse, an unbelieving wife.

In the same way, have a gentle spirit.

Don't just buy her things to attract her to Christ, her things to attract her to Christ.

Let the inner beauty of your walk with Christ be the magnet to draw her.

Then Peter has some pretty strong language for us as husbands, at the end of verse 7.

And as many times as I've read through that, it never made an impression on me until I was studying this.

I'm going to read verse 7 again.

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Is he actually saying if we are not in our headship order, if we are not subject to Christ, if we are not honoring our spouse, our wife, that our prayers will not be answered?

I believe that's what he's saying.

It is highly important, men, that we find ourselves in our rightful place in the headship order.

It is highly important that we honor our wife as the weaker vessel physically, not spiritually or intellectually.

It is highly important that we honor the emotional status of our wives.

It is highly important that we live our lives unselfishly, or else, god, it will affect our asks and our requests to God.

Selfishness and a lack of harmony in the home can lead to unanswered prayer.

I think that's a pretty strong statement, but if I interpret what Peter is saying here, that's what it's telling me, that's what scripture is telling me In closing.

A husband that honors his wife while fulfilling his role as a godly leader, alongside a wife that displays the inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, this makes a strong Christian marriage and relationship that'll last forever, no matter what setting we're in, no matter what we're facing, no matter what persecution we're facing, what persecution we're facing, no matter what struggles we're going through.

If we can maintain those things us as husbands in our rightful place and the wife displaying that gentle spirit of inner beauty it makes a strong, lasting relationship.

I want to bless all of the marriages that are represented here this morning.

We all go through pretty much the same things.

We all have our highs and we all have our lows.

But I want to encourage all of us this morning to seek to find that inner beauty in each other and to not be focused on the outer beauty but to be focused on the inner beauty and to draw each other to our Heavenly Father through allowing Him to work through us, our inner being, and extend that inner beauty to each other.

So this morning I bless all of you in your journeys.

I bless all of you as you continue to work on your marriages.

And I know Peter's focal point was not just on good marriages but his focal point, I believe, was on the inner beauty versus the outer beauty.

But he uses the parallel of a husband and wife and how beautiful that can be to exemplify what he's trying to say here.

So I bless you as you continue to seek out the beauty in each other and let God live through each one of us to make strong relationships.

Let's bow for prayer, our Father, god, this morning, as we look at this passage, lord, I pray that you might impress on us the vanity of outward adornment versus the interlasting beauty of inward adornment, through a gentle and quiet spirit and through us as husbands, placing ourselves in the rightful place in the headship order and honoring our wives and being there for them, no matter what it takes.

So, lord, I commit the preaching of the word into your hands and I pray that you might grant the increase.

Thank you for being present this morning.

I pray this on your name, amen.

I will just briefly open.

It Is there.