Submission In Marriage — A Doozy, Part 2 | 1 Peter 3:1-6 | Pastor Andrew Coleman | 12/7/2025

Well, this morning we um have a word

from God's word that may have an

extremely strong impact on the families

of our church. I pray for that. If you

don't have a sermon outline, there are

guys who are coming forward to give one

to you. If you're new to us, you will

need a sermon outline. Just grab one

there. Lift up your hand. They'll give

one to you this morning. Um, I want to

encourage us to push back against a uh

common uh difficulty that people have at

Christmas time when all of the lights

come out and we've got enough trees here

to be declared another national forest

uh in the state of Florida. when all the

trees come out and all the lights come

out um and all of the music um and all

of those things begin to occur and

ornaments and events, we also begin

eating a lot, right? And we enjoy the

sugar and we enjoy all of that. Um and

somehow spiritually, sometimes

in the in the runup to Christmas, we can

kind of have what I call the holiday

glaze come over us. And I want to

encourage you right now in the next few

minutes as we study God's word to just

push back against that. Just say, "No,

we're not gonna we're not going to glaze

over here." Because every single Sunday

in the life of this church, we seek to

take the word of God seriously. We dive

into this eternal book. We dive into it

because we've been hearing the world's

messaging all week and we really need

God's messaging. And so this morning, I

just want to encourage you to get right

back in that mode like we usually are,

even though it's December, even though

the lights are on. And as you've heard

me say, um, all of God's word is

important. And so, we are continuing in

our study of First Peter um, for this

morning. And I want to encourage you

with that. Do you have your outline?

Notice here with me. Notice the review

in the context. For those of you who are

new, we're going to bring you up to

speed so you can get everything out of

this word right here. First of all,

under review and context, take your pen

in hand and notice this. Peter's

overarching theme in this little letter

of first Peter is holy living amid

suffering in exile. So these people were

suffering. They were being persecuted.

They were having troubles. They and the

exile was this. They weren't outside of

their earthly country living in another

country. What Peter is saying to them,

your real home is in heaven and you're

not there yet. And because you're not

there yet, but you're God's, you're

going to suffer in a sinful world. So,

you're living in exile right now. You're

not home yet, but you're going to be one

day. How do we live that way? He's

calling us to live a holy life, a life

that is honoring to God. Look at this.

chapter 1 through chapter 2:12, he's

saying that Christians are a chosen

people. He calls them the elect. They

are set apart to declare God's

excellencies even when they are living

as sojourers and exiles in what does it

say? They're in a what kind of culture?

A what?

>> A hostile culture. And take note, be

don't don't be confused about this at

all. The world's culture is hostile

toward the things of God. Notice number

the next part that is here underneath

that chapter 2 beginning in verse 13 all

the way to chapter 3:12 which is where

we're studying this morning. Peter now

applies holiness to what is it? Social

relationships.

And he starts off he has government. He

first deals with government and then he

deals with your work life and then he

deals with what? Marriage. And that's

where we are this morning. So circle the

word marriage that is there. And then as

we come out of that one, we will go into

he deals with community life or the

community life of the church. And look

at this. This is very important. And

he's showing that submission to

government, submission at work,

submission in marriage, listen to this,

is not weakness,

but instead it is, underline it,

spiritual strength that glorifies God.

You see, a lot of people feel like

submission is weakness. Submission is

surrender. Oh my friends, listen. When

we look at the life of Christ, which is

what we'll see this morning, when we

look at the life of Christ, he submits

himself to the father's plan, he submits

himself, listen to this, even to our

ridicule. And this is all part of God's

great glory in showing his heart. And he

gives us the opportunity to partake in

that. And so submission is not a bad

word. Submission is a good word. Same

thing. How about this? The word

repentance, a lot of times people feel

like the word repent is a bad word. No,

repent is a great word. Repent is the

only way that we really come to God.

Jesus started out his first words of

preaching were this. Repent and believe.

Repent and believe in the good news of

God. And so, um, submission isn't a bad

word. Submission is a good word. So

first we studied submission in

government and we studied um submission

in employment. We now come to submission

in marriage. And when you start talking

about submission in marriage, let me

tell you there's there's a bunch of

people that they just immediately that

the hair stands up on the back of their

neck. And we're we've already mentioned

some of that about why that is. We're

going to see that a little bit more this

morning and uh in the in the next couple

of messages. So, we're we're not shying

away from that. I you know, there are

some pastors that they don't want to

come to any controversial subject

because they might offend someone.

Listen, it's not me. It's God's word.

And God's word offends us. It cuts us.

Listen to this. It corrects us.

>> And when it does that, we experience

life and healing if we will let it. Now,

some people are only offended and they

never get to the healing part. And so, I

want to encourage you to let God's word

speak to you this morning and help you.

Now, what I want to do um as we as we

look at this as we are already at this

issue of marriage and guys, you're

behind on the slides. So, go to the next

one there. Um thank you. Let's review a

little bit from the last few Sundays.

Okay? So, let's go to the next few

Sundays. Do you remember this? And this

was November 2nd. November 2nd, we

started this submission and marriage a

doozy. And we we so this is part two of

that message. But here's what we said.

Why do we need to take a little bit of

time to have some messages on marriage?

And it part of the reason that we've

done a miniseries on marriage for the

last few weeks is this. At the present

moment, look at the screen. At the

present moment moment our families, our

marriages need help and this is

everywhere. This is everywhere because

there is a great assault on marriages.

There is a tremendous frontal assault on

marriages. For the last 65 years,

especially since the 1960s,

marriage has been under fire. And um

this is both human and this is demonic.

It's both of those in tandem together.

Look at the third one. For over a

hundred years, the real meaning of

marriage has been forgotten.

Used to in this country and wherever the

Bible had been taught a lot in

Judeo-Christian culture, the real

meaning of marriage was very well

understood. the idea of a husband and

wife that's pointing to something. And

for many of you in the last few weeks,

this has been rather new to you. You

didn't you weren't sure what this

relationship of husband and wife is

pointing toward. But let me just submit

to you that several years ago, several

decades ago, everyone in America pretty

much got this that husband and wife

marriage pointed to Christ in the

church. and go back 200 years ago and

practically everyone understood the

basic theology that the husband and wife

relationship is pointing to Christ in

the church. And that's what God's word

clearly says. We've looked at those

passages over and over and over again.

And what is it? Notice this. The

steadfast covenant of God, the steadfast

covenant of love is on display. So part

of the reason God gives us marriage is

so that in your own personal life,

you're able to see in this earthly life

what God really wants with you. And so

this is a beautiful thing that God has

given. You know, I was very encouraged.

I was with somebody yesterday and they

said this. They said at my job, and I'll

just name the company, Chenmed. Have you

ever heard of Chenmed? ChinMed was

started by um a Chinese American family

right here in South Broward, North Dade

and um uh it's a Christian family um and

that ChinMed is really it's only aimed

at um Medicare Medicare patients. So the

idea of of ChenMed was to start um

medical care for elderly people and very

often elderly people that don't have

very good insurance, elderly people that

don't have very much money. And so

that's where ChenMed really got going.

And today it's a multi-billion dollar

company. And it's started by the Chen

family. And I was told this week that at

one of their big corporate meetings, one

of the main leaders, one of the doctors

with it, in fact, the wife of one of the

officers of the corporation said this. I

am very, very concerned because I know

she's speaking to hundreds of people.

She said, I know that many of you are in

marriages that are troubled and I want

to take a few minutes and pray for you

right now. Isn't that amazing?

That's amazing

because why? Out in the secular world,

the world feels it and the world is

experiencing it. Over 50% of marriages

end in divorce. This is a very real

problem and it's a real problem right

here in our own church family. The

healthiest of people go through times of

difficulty and we can lose sight. And

part of this is because of those things

that I just mentioned, a frontal attack

on marriage by Satan. He hates what it

represents. He hates that it shows us

what Christ is to the church. That God

wants a true relationship, an intimate

relationship with his people. Um, and so

Satan is doing everything. So, we've

taken a little bit of time to really

look at this because it's so very

important. And I I just want to remind

you some of the things that we looked

at. We looked at the covenant nature of

biblical marriage, part one. And let's

read this out loud together. Let's read

it out loud. Genesis 2 24. Let's read.

Therefore, a man shall leave his father

and mother and hold fast to his wife,

and they shall become one flesh. Is that

at the beginning of the Bible or the end

of the Bible?

>> That's at the very beginning of the

Bible. That is right there in the

creation account. God gives us this

beautiful plan. And he calls us to

leave. That's the first part of that.

This is a radical new alle allegiance to

cleave. That's to hold fast. And it's

the very word that God uses to describe

his relationship with Israel, his

people. He cleaves to them. and they are

to cleave to him. So it's this idea of

marriage not just between a man and a

woman but between God and his people.

And then what do we also see here? They

become one. There's the idea of union.

The idea is that there is true

relationship and beautiful intimacy.

That is so very good. It's the idea of

oneness. That's what God wants. And it's

not about a covenant. Excuse me. It's

not about a contract. It's all about a

covenant. A contract is to protect you

from one another where if somebody

breaks it, boom, you can I mean you you

have recourse. That's not it at all. Do

you remember what we said? A true

covenant is this instead. It's a binding

together. And that's what it's a holding

on to. It's a holding fast. Friends, the

world is not understanding that. the

shows you watch, as sweet as they may

even be on Hallmark. I know I'm

offending to some of you right now,

my wife being number one. Um,

the Swedish programming often doesn't

get it. Um, the the true message of

God's plan is that we are that we are

brought together in covenant

relationship. And this covenant pattern

is God's marriages to who? To Israel,

his people. And we see that over and

over in the Old Testament. We looked at

that. And Christ, when we see the

Messiah finally come, Christ is the

ultimate groom. And what? The church as

the covenant bride. That is the picture.

Every time someone gets married, it's

the picture of God marrying his people.

That is the picture. And then we looked

at part two of the covenant nature of

biblical marriage. We said this, what is

what are the implications of this? What

comes out of this? What we learn is look

at the paragraph that is there

underneath that. And and this is not on

your notes. This is only on the screen.

Every earthly marriage between a husband

and a wife is a temporary illustration

because you don't live forever. And your

marriage, despite what the Mormons say,

your marriage is not eternal. Every

relationship between a husband and wife

is a temporary illustration of God's

permanent relationship between himself

and his people is so that we might learn

of him. Notice this. It means that the

ultimate goal of our marriage is to

display Christ's covenantkeeping love.

Christ never abandons the covenant.

Christ never says no. Christ never fails

in his marriage to us. Now, this is

where we display it. We display it to

ourselves, the people that are married.

Marcy and I, as we grow in our marriage,

we're learning what it means to be to

know Christ. And what about other

people? Other people see your marriage

and they learn of Christ. I mean, we

just celebrated Devika and Muhammad's um

55th wedding anniversary. That is that

not an encouragement to you? And for

many who maybe even this morning right

now are wondering, can we make it? Let

me guarantee you um Muhammad and Dvika

wondered can we make it at different

points. Did you wonder sometimes

Muhammad?

>> I do.

>> Yes.

He said I do.

You can say I do when you get married

and you can say I do when you wonder if

you're going to make it.

Why? Because we live in a fallen world.

But what we learn is and what we see in

all this is very important is that God

means for our marriages he intends for

our marriage to be dissol indissolvable

indissoluble. That means they cannot be

dissolved. Why? Because his relationship

with us cannot be dissolved. It will

never be dissolved. In fact, we see

Jesus's own words. Look down there at

the bottom of this from Matthew 19.

Jesus is speaking and he says, "So that

they are no longer one, no longer two

but one flesh." Read it out loud

together. What therefore, let's read it

out loud. What therefore God has joined

together, let not man separate. And so

that is the that is the great intention

of God. Not this I'm in it till I'm

tired of it or I'm in it until you know

it just gets too hard or I'm in it until

something else. No, the picture is this

and we also have learned and that the

husband is intended. We see this he has

a great responsibility upon him. It is

it is God's intention that the husband

sacrifice himself for the welfare of his

wife. How often?

continually.

That is that is God's call to me for

mercy and my family.

And that is God's call to every husband

is that he would lay down his life. And

then look at this. Jesus did this all

the way to his death to save and to

cleanse the church from sin. Notice

this. Husbands, love your wives. What

does it say there? as Christ loved the

church and gave himself up for her. Now,

there's numerous places where we see

this in the scripture. You see a few of

them listed in the bottom there. There's

numerous ones. But what is what else do

we see here? It means that the wife is

to submit herself to her husband's

leadership. So, he's supposed to submit

himself to God and to his to sacrifice.

She is also to submit herself to God and

to her husband's leadership. Notice

Ephesians chapter 5. Wives, and this is

Ephesians 5 · chapter mention

from Ephesians. This is stated in

numerous places, both Paul and Peter and

Hebrews. Look at this one. Ephesians 5.

Wives, submit to your own husbands as to

the Lord. For the husband husband is the

head of the wife, even as Christ is the

head of the church, the body, and is in

himself. Look at verse 24. And now, as

the church submits to Christ, so also

wives should submit in everything to

their husbands. So the this is very

important. I want you to see this. Our

fallen sinful nature makes these two

things difficult.

What two things does it make difficult?

First of all, it makes difficult his

struggle to properly sacrifice himself

and lead.

That is a hard thing for a man to do.

But that is what he's called to do. He's

called to see the example of Christ.

He's called to go against everything in

the world around him that says, "Live

for yourself. Do what you want. Rule

over over others. Have your way."

Instead, Jesus says, "No, lay down your

life."

And then what is it hard for her? It is

hard. Her struggle is to graciously

submit herself and follow. Both of these

things are very hard. Now listen to this

and look at the screen. Satan is at full

throttle seeking to destroy God's design

of husband and wife.

He is at full throttle seeking to do

that. Why does he want to destroy this

example from God? Here it is. Because

marriage done right makes us more like

Christ and prepares us to meet him.

You see, part of God's gift to you is

giving you a husband or giving you a

wife so you can learn what real

relationship looks like. And all of this

as we learn to follow Christ, as we

learn to embrace righteousness and God's

way, and we learn to reject sin in our

way, as we do that, we're getting ready

to meet God.

It is God's intent that your life is

getting closer and closer and closer to

the likeness of Christ so that when you

finally die and you step across the

divide into eternity, you have been

prepared to worship God for all of

eternity.

There's a lot of Christians in easy

belieism and in false doctrines of of

easy belieism have said this. Well, you

go to church, you walk down an aisle,

you fill out a card, and you say this

prayer, and everything's good between

you and God. It's done.

My friends, that is only the beginning.

When you come to faith in Jesus, the

work is not over. Yes, Jesus's work on

the cross is what saves you. You cannot

add to that. But he has called you to

live in obedience to him, growing close

to him, becoming more like him.

So the person who thinks that what they

have is fire insurance, and now they're

going to go do whatever they want to do,

but they're not going to go to hell. My

friends, that just proves they don't

know the Lord.

>> Amen.

That is that is false easy belieism that

is very deceptive. And by the way,

that's very very indicative of cultural

Christianity. And what do we say about

cultural Christianity here in our

church? Cultural Christianity will do

what? It will take you merrily to hell.

Let's say that together. Cultural

Christianity will take you merrily to

hell because it will deceive you.

The true believer of Jesus Christ is

embracing what God has done in Christ.

And listen, is seeking to be conformed

to Christ in their life. And marriage

has a great opportunity to make you more

like him. Now, here's another beautiful

thing. Even if you're single, you've

never been married, or you're widowed,

listen to this. you still benefit from

everything we're talking about because

Pastor Ben just talked about this last

Sunday. He talked about being married to

Christ, union with Christ. That's really

was the essence of his message. He

looked at the prepositions that show

that we are to be in Christ Jesus. And

this is this is the picture of our

relationship

with God. What is union with Christ?

Union with Christ is the reality that

God is with his people. And listen to

this. In perfect union, this is so

beautiful. No barriers of sin, time, or

space. That's when we finally get to

heaven. But even though we're not in

heaven yet, we still have this union

that Christ gives us. Remember last

week, Pastor Ben gave some metaphors

that scripture gives us. metaphor is

like a an example of something. It's an

illustration of something. Jesus said,

"I am the vine, you are the branches."

Jesus talked about us being adopted as

sons of God. The Apostle Paul, the

Apostle Peter, Hebrews talks about our

adoption as this. The big example is

marriage. That is the the great metaphor

of knowing God between a husband and a

wife. The picture is Jesus calls himself

the groom and we are the bride. This is

the the temple and the building. God

coming into and dealing. We are the

building being built up in Christ. The

body, we are his hands and his feet.

This is another metaphor. Clothing,

putting on Christ, putting off the

world. So, the idea of clothing, these

are all metaphors that show us what it

means to know God. But the key one, the

key one in all of scripture is the

picture of marriage. And why do we say

that? Because we see it in the beginning

of the Bible, Genesis chapter beginning

of the Bible, Genesis chapter 1 and 2.

Genesis 1 · chapter mention

We see it all the way through the Old

Testament. We see it at the beginning of

the New Testament. Jesus's ministry

begins where his first miracle is what?

At a wedding. He turns water into wine

at a wedding. And then we see the last

chapters of the Bible. It's all about a

marriage. So the key metaphor that is

given in the Bible concerning our

relationship to God is the idea of

marriage. And it's very very important.

We see that in Ephesians chapter 5. Look

Ephesians 5 · chapter mention

at verse 32. This mystery is profound.

And I'm saying that it refers to Christ

in the church. And that's the idea of

marriage. Now this morning I want us to

look at the actual text that we have

been getting ready for. We've spent the

last four weeks, five weeks getting

ready for that. I want us to read it

very quickly and I'm going to fly

through it and let you get some great

things out of it. So, this is going to

make a lot more sense since we have gone

through all of the background of this

and I pray that God uses this in your

mind and in your heart. Look what it

says in First Peter chapter 3 and verse

1 Peter 3 · chapter mention

one. And this is in the box on the page

in front of you. Likewise, who?

>> Wives. Now, the likewise there put out

there to the side of likewise,

government and employers. Okay. So the

first two that were mentioned if you

were to go back and read the verses

before this he's talked about government

submit to government. Now he and then

he's talked about submit to employers

masters and slaves or or your boss. And

then we come to number one. Likewise,

just like government and employment,

wives be subject to your own husbands,

so that even if some do not obey the

word, they may be one without a word by

the conduct of their wives. Verse two,

when they see your respectful

and pure conduct, do not let your

adorning be external, the braiding of

hair, the putting on of gold jewelry, or

the clothing you wear. Verse four, but

let your braiding be the hidden person

of the heart with the imperishable

quality of a gentle and quiet spirit,

which is in God's sight, which in God's

sight is what?

>> Very precious.

>> Very precious. Verse 5. For this is how

the holy women who hoped in God used to

adorn themselves by submitting to their

own husbands. as Sarah obeyed Abraham,

calling him Lord, and you are her

children if you do good and do not fear

anything that is frightening. We're

going to say, what in the world does

that mean? What what what does that

mean? We're going to see that in just a

minute. And then verse seven, what does

it say? Turns the focus to husbands.

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives

in an understanding way, showing honor

to the woman as the weaker vessel since

they are heirs with you of the grace of

life, so that your prayers may not be

hindered. Now, let me tell you, verse 7

is a huge mouthful. We're not going to

deal with that one today. We're going to

deal with that one next time. But we're

going to look at verses 1-6. I want you

to notice this um first of all in the

context of the passage. And this is in

your next part of the outline. Notice

there context of the passage. Why are

six verses dedicated to wives and only

one dedicated to husbands? How many of

you had that thought? Did anybody notice

that? Are y'all noticing that? Okay, a

couple of you are.

Um, why in the world are six of these

dedicated to wives and only one? Well,

there's some very good reasons for that.

I want you to see what they are. This is

going to make a lot of sense. Number

one, because in Peter's day, which was

the first century, women were viewed as

inferior to men. Women were viewed as

inferior to men. Greatly inferior to

men. Number two, when wives became

Christians without their husbands,

it created real conflict. So, kind of

think about these two together. Men are

very dominant in Roman culture. I mean,

that's that's they're stronger. They

doesn't always matter what she thinks.

Um, sure, there's certain things that

she can do to manipulate him, but by and

large, he's stronger. The whole culture

views it that way and she is to some

degree subjugated.

And then imagine this. He has his views,

his religion and so forth which is

supposed to be the families. And then

something happens to her.

She becomes one of those Christians.

Oh my. What in the world? You did what?

You believe what? What? What are you

doing now? I mean, this is this creates

a real conflict.

Notice number three. This was viewed as

an extreme act of defiance

that brought embarrassment

and shame.

In fact, I want you to think about this

and notice what a Greek historian from

this very time period when Peter wrote

these words. Look at what he says. A

wife should not acquire her own friends

but should make her husband's friends

her own. The gods are the first and most

significant friends. For this reason, it

is proper for a wife to recognize only

those gods whom her husband worships.

This was the thinking of the day.

So you can imagine as the gospel starts

to go ripping through the Roman Empire

um that the influence of all of this um

whether it be Greek philosophy or now

Roman philosophy both of those were in

action you know the the Romans just

adopted most of the Greek gods and

renamed them. So we we see this

together. This this mentality is highly

controversial

and we see that there's a there's a

tremendous

controversy

around that. Notice the next one that is

here number four. Because in Roman

society, like our society, women were

severely

objectified. What does it mean to

objectify something or to someone? What

does it mean? If you if you look at

somebody and you objectify them, that

means you make them a mere object.

You make them a mere object for your

use.

And my friends, that is what happens

when women are objectified,

especially sexually.

So, they become an object instead of a

human.

um that can happen at a very uh cursory

light level or that can happen at a

level to where there's even a person

who's a sex slave. They're they're

they're completely objectified

merely an object for someone else's use.

You see, their wealth facilitated

widespread obsession with appearance and

sexualization. You say, "What does

wealth have to do with it?" Um, can't

this happen anywhere? Yes, it can happen

in poor societies. But one of the things

that we notice as we look back through

human history, the wealthier a society

becomes, very often, the more decadent

it becomes.

Um, when we see the Roman Empire, if you

study the Roman Empire, Marcy and I ran

a company that took people on on trips

into Roman, what is called Roman

patrimony or Roman um Roman uh tourism.

We would we would go to Roman ruins all

over North Africa in the Middle East.

And as we did that, you can you can get

all of this tremendous information from

the way the Roman society operated. and

they were very wealthy, uh, tended to be

extremely wealthy. But there were there

were some places that we would go to

ruins and I couldn't even bring

Christians to those ruins and to those

areas because of how unacceptable and

how um, just absolutely u horribly

sexually explicit the carvings were in

those areas and the mosaics were in

those areas. They were things that that

just were completely you couldn't even

look at them in a historical way. Um

extremely vile things that lasted 2,000

years. As we uncover the sand from

everything and we look at the mosaics,

the imagery or we look at the carvings

and everything else. um we find

depictions and everything else that is

extremely objectified in women and

children completely objectified in that

regard. So um that was true in the Roman

society when this was this was written

and my friends is that not true

today?

It is completely true today. And the

wealthier a society is very often the

more obsessive it is in that regard. And

so the apostle Peter is writing to us.

He's writing to the young men in this

room and he's writing to the young women

in this room that are about to live

their whole lives. And he's writing to

you what your focus ought to be and what

your focus should not be. And that's

part of what we see in this. Notice

number five. Peter, like the Apostle

Paul, was writing against the godless

cultural forces that opposed God's

design in marriage and mature godly

relationships. He's writing against the

things that stand against those things.

Look at number six.

This is interesting though, and we're

going to talk more about this next week,

but unlike today,

men in that day tended to be leaders.

I'm going to say that again. Unlike

today, men in that day tended to be

leaders. They just had to be taught to

lead in a godly way. So, they they

hadn't given up leadership. They they

were leaders. society. Society enforced

that in a way just kind of a natural

way. We must realize that today while

men are still dominant,

they are often not leaders. Don't turn

the page. I want you to think about

this. While men are often dominant,

they are often not leaders. Just because

you listen to this guys,

just because you dominate, that does not

mean you lead.

You can dominate and not lead.

Why?

Why is that? How is that? That's part of

what we're going to be looking at next

week. And we're going to be looking at

what God desires for us to do, what he

has designed for us to do. Well, let's

look and let's see submission in the

household and why God would do this.

First of all, we see it up there in the

next page. Likewise, wives, be subject

to your own husbands. This is in the box

on the page. So that even if some do not

obey the word that they may be one

without um the conduct by by a word by

the conduct of their wives. Number one

is submission in the household is

Christ's example on display. This is

Christ's example on display. Uh I want

you to see this first. And what we see

in this example is humble strength.

Humble strength. So when the apostle

Peter is writing to the women in that

day and time, he's saying be like Jesus,

you say, "Well, Jesus is the king of

kings and the lord of lords. How can I

relate to that?" Oh no. Jesus was also

the one who came as the suffering

servant.

Jesus came submitting himself. Jesus

came in submission to the father's plan.

And Jesus subjugated himself to become

the sinbearer.

And so what we see is his humble

strength.

Though equal to the father, notice this

and fill it in. Though equal to the

father, he voluntarily

submitted himself

to God's role for him. Now, I I wish I

had had space and everything else in

order to share with you all of these

verses, but can you just listen to a few

of these? Just listen to a few of these.

John 5 and verse 19 says, "So this, so

Jesus said to them, truly, truly I say

to you, the son can do nothing of his

own accord, speaking of himself, but

only what he sees the father doing. For

whatever the father does that the son

does likewise. The son though equal with

the father in the trinity. The son

voluntarily takes the role of suffering

servant comes to the earth and submits

himself to what the father is doing.

John 6:38 the next one. For I have come

John 6:38

down from heaven not to do my own will

but the will of him who sent me. This is

Jesus submitting himself. Look at John

John 8:28

8:28. So Jesus said to them, "When you

have lifted up the Son of Man, then you

will know that I am he and that I do

nothing by my own authority, but speak

just as the Father taught me. And he who

sent me is with me. He has not left me

alone, for I always do the things that

are pleasing to him."

I want you to see that over and over and

over we see in this that Jesus has come

to do the will in perfect submission. In

fact, we couldn't we wouldn't be able to

look at this without looking at

Philippians 2. Can you circle that one

there? Philippians 2 5-8. Listen to what

it says. Have this mind in yourselves

which is also yours in Christ Jesus. And

by the way, this is for men and women to

have this men mindset.

who though he was in the form of God,

did not count equality with God a thing

to be held on to or grasp. But he

emptied himself by taking the form of a

servant, being born in the likeness of

men, and being found in human form, he

humbled himself by becoming obedient to

the point of death, even death on a

cross.

So when we see the Apostle Peter and the

Apostle Paul, the writer of Hebrews,

when we see these writers and when we

see the picture of God's design here

calling women to submit, they're calling

women to submit as Christ himself

submits.

You see, submission is a relational

posture. It's a relational posture, not

a value or ability statement. It's not a

statement about your value. It's not a

statement about your ability,

but it's a it's a relational posture

that God has designed in roles.

Part of the purpose here, notice the

purpose. when unbelieving husbands, part

of the reason the the apostle Peter is

writing this is that when unbelieving

husbands

um can be one by actions more than

words. Would you look at verse one and

two? Look what it says. Likewise, wives,

be subject to your own husbands so that

even if they do not obey the word, so

this means they're not believers. They

may be one without a word by the conduct

of their wives. Now you see that's just

opposite of what maybe was tending to

happen. You see what was tending to

happen was these women would get saved

without their husband in that society

and that was an extremely defiant thing

to do and suddenly she has a different

set of values and that it's a set of

values that are connected to somebody

way bigger than him to God. And so she's

right to come to faith in Jesus, but she

would be wrong to say, "I'm a Christian

now. Forget you.

Sorry, turkey unbeliever." I mean, that

would that would be ext that she was not

to do that. She was not. We see in

Corinthians, do not divorce your husband

because he does not believe. Do not

divorce your wife because she does not

believe. Now, if they decide since

you've become a Christian that that they

don't want you anymore, that they want

to do, let them go. You're not told that

you have to hold on to them and that you

should hold on to them. Um, but you it

it is acceptable to let them go if they

if they hate that, if they hate you as a

result of that, if they want a divorce

because of that, we see that we were

told to let them go. But in this case,

we see that you are to hold on to that.

And here we see don't drive him away by

preaching at him and by hering him and

arguing with him. Here we see love him,

love him, submit to him, serve him in

such a way that he may be seeing a

totally different you

and be one to faith in Christ. Look what

it says there in verse two. When they

see your respectful and pure conduct. So

when he sees that his wife changes and

something happens, at first there may be

frustration. At first there may be anger

but over a period of time if the aroma

of Christ is changing her life or if the

aroma of Christ is changing his life

then we can see that they can be one to

faith in Christ. Some will be one to

faith in Christ in this. So um notice

this the purpose win unbelieving

husbands by actions more than words. Um

notice the next part here going with the

grain of God's design um of submission

in marriage instead of against the grain

of the fall. What do I mean by that?

Have you ever um unfortunately a lot of

our pews you can see the grain in the uh

in the top there. You can see the grain

that is there. And there's, if you've

ever worked with wood, if you run your

hand with the grain or if you run a

paintbrush with the grain, it it goes so

much easier. But there's also something

called going against the grain. And if

you run your hand against the grain,

what might happen?

You can get splinters, right? One way

it's smooth and there's no splinters.

The other way when you go against the

grain, boom. Ah, that hurts because it

it's it's not the way um it flows. It's

not the way that it goes. It's not the

way that it's supposed to go. And so

what happens is going against the grain

of God's design and this is rebelling

against um in this case your husband or

this is opposing him at every turn. the

this goes against the grain and it it

winds up

being one of the parts of the fall that

destroys you. Look at this in Genesis 3

and verse 16. This is part of the fall.

This is part of the curse of the fall.

your des the the Lord says to Eve, he

says, "Your desire shall be for your

husband, but he will rule over you."

And this is part of the condemnation of

the fall. For women, they're going to

desire to lead. They're going to desire

to dominate, but by and large, that's

not going to happen.

And part of that is he's bigger than

you. He's stronger than you. So if

you're talking about in a society where

mere brawn and mere size uh and strength

matters, we we see that men and women

are obviously vastly our world is very

confused about that at this day and

time. Um, but there there's obvious

differences,

but just like there's certain things

that a man in his strength can do, there

are certain things that a woman in her

intuition and a woman in her strength

and abilities, he cannot do. Well, one

of those would be to feed a baby with

his body. He can't do that. She can. She

There's many things that she can do.

There's many things that are part of her

intuition, part of her wiring, part of

her makeup that she understands and

sees. And those things are extremely

important.

But we live in a world that is that is

seeking to either minimalize those

differences um or trivialize them as we

see a complete attack upon God's design

for the family, God's purpose for the

family, God's listen to this, priority

of procreation. That was the first

command that he gave us. And we see that

has been um all but destroyed in many

many cultures in many parts of our

culture. Notice this. Godly conduct can

open closed hearts. Godly conduct can

open closed heart. Look at this.

Submission is a missionary strategy, not

suppression

or oppression. That's a key thing to

understand when you're studying this

passage that this is that this is even

though we're not in the first century,

we are in this century. And in this

century, many of the things the curse is

still there. The curse is still part of

this. Your desire will be for your

husband. You but you will not rule over

him. And so God has a better plan and

it's a missionary strategy. And then we

see it change a little bit. So verses 1

and two is um about winning your

husband. Look at the next part here as

part of this and this is another big

part of the culture that was going on

regarding women. Do not look at verse

three. Do not let your adorning be

external, the braiding of hair, the

putting on of gold jewelry, the clothing

you wear, but let your adorning be the

hidden person of the heart with the

imperishable beauty of a gentle and

quiet spirit, which is which in God's

sight is very precious. Let's look at

these very quickly. Number two, true

adornment of women is internal more than

external. Now, you know what

the world does? just the opposite.

The world emphasizes just the opposite.

And this is nothing new. When Israel

needed a king and Samuel went looking

for a king, even the prophet of God was

down there with all of the sons there.

And what is he looking for? He looks at

this son. Oh, that's got to be him. He's

big and strong and good-look. He goes

through all the sons. God says no to all

of them. And he turns around and he

says, "Do you have another one?" said,

"Well, we got David, but he's out in the

field. We'll go get him." And when they

went and got David, God said, "This is

the one. Anoint this one."

And Samuel was just, you're sitting

there thinking, "Why this one?" I mean,

the other ones are bigger and better

looking. Why this one? And God says,

"Because man looks on the outside, but I

look on the heart."

>> Amen.

>> God has a totally different sense of

value. And young people, listen.

God is looking at the heart. He's

looking at your heart. And he wants your

heart to be all that he has designed it

to be. He is calling your heart to his

heart. And so that's what he's looking

at. Ladies, it doesn't matter how much

you weigh. It doesn't matter what the

complexion of your skin is. It doesn't

matter what your hair looks like and all

of these things. Yes, Hollywood may

herald it as the greatest thing and

YouTube and Tik Tok might say this is

the way to look. This is the really cool

thing. But listen, that doesn't matter

to God.

>> God looks on the heart.

When we focus

when we focus on the things that the

world focuses on, our values get off.

And the people of First Peter were

struggling with that. You wonder why

there's six verses because that was a

big part of their culture. Roman culture

had objectified women. Roman culture had

made women's appearance because there is

no doubt about the fact that men are

visually attractive. There there's no

doubt about that. Um women don't tend to

be as visually attracted. Some are but

most of the part that that's that's not

the case. So when we start looking at

all of that and when God is not reigning

over our sexuality when just it's us and

when it's just the world it gets bad.

Amen.

>> But when God is saying, "Look, your

sexuality isn't what's most important.

Eternity is what is most important."

You see, he he has a different set of

values. And that's what Peter is trying

to get Christians to see.

The world says, "Do marriage one way.

Rule over your husband. Do this. Go

against." Yeah. Oh, wow. You became a

Christian. Great. Tell him to go to hell

with his gods, you know, that don't know

God. I mean, that's kind of that's kind

of the way that some Christians would

have done it back then. But Peter's

saying, "No, you can't have that

attitude.

Love your husband. Respect your husband.

And don't act like the world, ladies.

Don't dress like the world. The world

has objectified you." Look what it says

in verse three. Do not let your adorning

be external. The braiding of hair, the

putting on of gold jewelry, and the

clothing you wear. And there were

certain there's all kinds of things

about that that we see both from mosaics

and we see from writings that there were

certain ways in which women would do

those things and very often it would be

very sexualized.

But let your adorning be verse four but

let your adorning be the hidden person

of the heart with the imperishable

beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit

which is in God's sight is very

precious. So what he says is internal is

more important than external. what not

to do. Look at what not to do under

verse three. Roman culture was

preoccupied with appearance. They were

preoccupied with appearance. That this

is what it meant. They would dress. They

would do their hair. They would wear

their jewelry to either do this to show

status. Well, I'm a better than you. I

have more money than you. This the way I

dress is is more status than you. Or

sensual. I'm gonna wear things that make

me look sexual. I'm gonna wear things

that make me and suggestive is sensitive

is is similar to that. Wearing things in

such a way that it objectifies your own

body. And so you say, well, it's not

just about men doing that. It's very

often women fall into those desires,

fall into that trap where they do it to

themselves.

That's that's what Christians are not

supposed to do. Um that is what is here.

So look what it says here. Don't be like

the pagans that are just living for this

world. They're getting theirs now and we

are going to have ours later when we are

safely home in heaven. And we are to act

like it. Notice what to do. What are

Christians to do in verse four? Look at

verse four. But let your adorning be the

hidden person of the heart with the

imperishable beauty of a gentle and

quiet spirit which in God's sight is

very precious. So what are Christians to

do? Christian culture is to keep

appearance in a respectful place. The

way you dress and the way you walk and

the way you talk it should be

respectful. The jewelry you wear should

be respectful. It's not that you can't

braid your hair. It's not that you can't

put on dresses. It's not that you can't

have gold. Many of the translations that

are um out there today say that it's not

merely this. The word merely is not in

the original language. But we but we do

know that Christians are called,

Christian women are called to adorn

themselves, but not to adorn themselves

like the world.

Um, notice this. Christian culture is to

keep it respectful. And we see that in 1

Timothy 2:es 9 and 10. Paul is writing

to Timothy who's a leader of pastors.

And he says in verse 9, "Likewise also

that women should adorn themselves in

respectable apparel

with what?

modesty and self-control,

not with braided hair or gold or pearls

or costly attire. So now some people

would take these verses like the Amish

or other Menanites or others, they they

they would not say um well

if you do that you're you're not a

Christian, but they would say we've

chosen to be very very uh literal about

this. So, we've really stepped back.

They don't even have buttons on their

clothing. Um, they the whole point is to

not to be obsessive with appearance.

That's their point. Let me tell you that

there are times when I look at Amish

life or um some of the Menite life and

there's aspects of their life that looks

very attractive to me. And and I mean

that in a in a sense that I would desire

for a simpler life. Wouldn't it be nice

that when the sun goes down, you got a

little lamp, you read your Bible, and

then you turn it off and go to bed.

You don't have to worry about what's

going on anywhere else. You just you you

live a pretty simple life. That there's

aspects of that that would be very good

for your mind and your heart. There is

no doubt about that. Um, but part of the

picture here is that we're just not to

be trying to chase the world, listen, in

its sensuality.

And that is very very important. It's

not that you neglect yourself. Let me

say that too. Women, you don't neglect

your appearance. Well, I'm not supposed

to give any attention to that. What

matters is on the inside. Well, listen.

In your neglect of the way you look and

the way you dress, you can be

disrespectful to people also.

When you don't comb your hair and brush

your when you're not the word kemp the

idea is that you're not disciplined in

the way you take care of yourself that's

that's disrespectful to yourself and

it's disrespectful to others.

Marcy Marcy is the one who says this not

me. She says any old barn looks better

with a fresh coat of paint. So when it

comes to makeup. So,

so she's over there putting on her

makeup and she goes, "Any old barn looks

better with a fresh coat of paint.

Um,

so we're not saying that we ignore that.

We say, "Love me the way I am.

We do take care of ourselves, but we

just don't enter into all of the look at

my body. Look at the way I move. Look at

the way I walk. Look at look at the

stuff that I wear that looks like so and

so from Hollywood or so and so from

South Beach or Bickl Avenue.

That's not what we're supposed to be

doing as Christians. As Christians,

we're living for eternity, not the next

five minutes or the next five years.

We're living for eternity. Young people,

you need to recognize that

because it's it's a vast difference in

quality of life. You see, ladies, your

real self is what matters to God and

godly people.

Now, I put on there not just God, but

godly people because if you're all

concerned about dressing a certain way

so as to attract a certain guy or

certain,

you need to be very careful about that

because very often that's not going

toward that which is godly. And you

don't need to attract ungodly people.

When you attract ungodly people, you'll

pay for it.

>> Amen.

you will pay for it.

What you need is godly people. So in

fact, a really good guy who loves Jesus

and wants to marry someone who's a godly

woman, when he sees you dress in a

provocative way, he's going to go, I

don't need that.

>> I'd rather have someone who has the

hidden person of the heart.

This is very important.

Physical beauty will fade.

Spiritual beauty will season and bloom.

There is a very big difference. I I had

asked my brother this morning for a

couple of great pictures of my mom. My

mom was a beautiful young lady when she

was 25 years old um before she had three

kids and and it kind of made it a little

bit more difficult. But, uh, my mom,

when you see her as a young lady, she

was she was astoundingly beautiful. And

you see her today. I look at her today

and I think she's more beautiful.

I really do.

Because of who she is in her heart.

She spent her life seeking to become

more like Jesus.

She spent her life submitting to God's

word, submitting to my dad, and

submitting to our church. And she spent

her life seeking him. And today, she's

the sweetest thing I know.

She's beautiful.

It's a different beauty.

So, notice this. And in fact, it says it

in our verse with the imperishable

beauty. You see, your physical beauty is

going to fade. You've seen the pictures

from from Hollywood. They start off with

some gal from 25 years ago when she was

at her popularity, the height of it, and

then it goes to the way she looks now. I

mean, the physical beauty is in that

regard. You know, at one time she was

the bell of the ball, and now she can't

get a job in a film.

Well, that's because the world looks at

the things that fade. God looks at the

things that are eternal. And there's a

very big difference. And that's why this

verse says with the imperishable beauty

of a gentle and quiet spirit which is in

God's sight is very precious. Okay. So

then he goes on verses five and six very

quickly. For this is how the holy women

who look at verse five. For this is how

the holy women who hoped in God used to

adorn themselves, by submitting to their

own husbands as Sarah obeyed Abraham,

calling him Lord. Now Marcy doesn't have

to call me Lord. There's that. That's

not the point of this verse,

cuz Marcy's not going to call me Lord.

She never has. She never will.

But when you look at what's going on in

the culture, when you look at what's

going on in Genesis, and when you look

at what's going on with Abram and Sarah,

we we begin to see this beautiful

picture of Sarah. And and I this is this

is amazing. And I don't miss Wednesday

night. I will say that. Make sure you're

here Wednesday night. But notice this.

Look what it says.

um the examples of the holy women of the

past. Let them be your true models.

You don't need the models from Paris.

>> Amen.

>> You don't need the models from

Hollywood. You don't need the models

from Miami Beach. What you need is the

true models are the holy women of the

past.

Their beauty was in their faith in God.

Look what it says there. The holy woman

women who hoped in God. It doesn't say

the holy women who were the most

beautiful.

I mean, it's not talking about it's

we're not uplifting Bath Sheba here.

We're uplifting Sarah.

And

what an amazing life that she lived.

Many opportunities. Look at this.

Strength was in embracing God's design,

submitting to their own husbands. This

was the picture that God was going to

use even as we come to Christ.

So the last point here is imperfect

Sarah and imperfect Abraham is what is

used here. Look what it says there in

verse six. As Sarah obeyed Abraham

calling him Lord. You are her children

if you do good and do not fear anything

that is frightening. Well, a whole

message could be preached on that as you

look at Sarah's life. But look at this.

Those sinners, they displayed faith and

godliness in the way they lived. Sarah

and Abraham, they were sinners. You can

see where they both sinned in Genesis.

But they displayed faith and godliness

in the way they lived. Sarah lived in

faith, not in fear.

There was a lot of things she followed

Abraham when she didn't when he didn't

know where he was going. It says that

Abraham followed the Lord and he went

out not knowing where he was going cuz

the Lord called him to go out. And you

know what? Sarah went with him. She

didn't say, "Look, dude, you go on out

and when you figure out where you're

going, come back and get me." That's not

what we see happen. And there were time

and time again where even Abraham

sometimes made decisions that were not

right decisions and she stuck with it.

When he lied saying that this is my

sister instead of my husband, she didn't

go, "What are you talking about?

She she didn't do that." And you know

what she could have done because she was

so beautiful? You know what she could

have done? She could have gone off with

the guys that he had just told that to

and said, "Yeah, I don't know who that

guy is.

I mean, she could have gone and lived

with the the high rollers of that

culture when they when Abraham was

afraid of them.

She didn't do any of that. She stayed

with him. And then when it came to

having a baby late in life, yeah, she

laughed. She didn't think so. But in

time, she turned. God rebuked her for

laughing. God rebuked her for um for

mocking that and she repents of that and

goes and says, "Lord, your will is what

I want." And what happens? She gives

birth to those that would be part of the

lineage of coming into Christ. So we see

imperfect Sarah but living a godly life.

And she was not fear filled with fear

but she was filled with faith. Sarah

fulfilled her role when there were many

opportunities to leave God's plan. So,

we're starting to get a little bit

better picture of what this is talking

about of submitting. The culture was

rough and there was an opportunity for

witness and we start to see God's design

in marriage and his plan that both

husband and wife are to act like Jesus.

Husband is to lay down his life for his

wife, acting like Jesus. Wife is to act

like Jesus, submitting to the plan that

God has. And as we do that, God says,

"You do it my way and you will have my

blessings." Amen.

>> Notice here at the very end, biblical

submission for women and everyone else

is couragebased.

It's not it's not weakness. It's

courage-based.

And here's your here's your great

opportunity in the next few days. I want

to encourage you to do this. Go back to

Genesis and read Sarah's life. How can

you be like her to display the glory of

Christ? How can you be like her? Because

that's what this passage is telling you

to do, ladies. This passage is saying

look at Sarah. And so it would be a good

idea for you to go look at Sarah and say

how did she display faith and obedience

to God so that you can display faith and

obedience to God. Look at this picture.

God has called us

to embrace his plan for marriage. God

has called us to embrace his roles. He's

called us to embrace his way. His way is

the best way. And as we do that, he'll

work through our sin. He'll work through

our weaknesses. He'll work through our

troubles. Amen.

>> Let's stand together for prayer. And um

I pray that God will do a great work in

us. Let's pray. Father, I thank you for

your word. I thank you for showing us

how to live with one another. and not

just live with one another, but how to

represent you to the world. I pray that

you would help us with that. I pray,

Father, that you would allow our hearts

to embrace

what you've designed. And Lord, where we

resist that, I pray that you would

convict us and encourage us and help us.

Lord, I pray that our men

would learn to be leaders.

real leaders,

leaders that lay down their lives,

not only for their wives, but for all of

those around them. And I pray that our

women would reject the ways of the

world, see that that's the road to hell,

and that they would say yes to the ways

of God, that Jesus went before us,

showing us what submission look like

sometimes even when it doesn't make

sense.

So Lord, we thank you. Pray that you

would help us to embrace your plan in

Jesus name. Amen.