Intersection | In My Feelings: Serotonin, the Soul, and the Whisper of God | April Farmer

Excited to be connecting with all of you at the Missouri City campus.

Those of you in West End and watching online, we're so glad that you're joining us today.

And a special, special welcome to all of our brothers at the Ramsey Unit.

Come on, you guys.

We love you.

So grateful for you.

This is gonna be an amazing day.

We have been in the midst of this amazing series.

And I know specifically I've been following along there in Atlanta.

But last week, oh my God in heaven, I told Pastor Chad, I said, you went in last week.

And so I'm excited and a little nervous to be able to follow up on what he has been talking about.

But we've been in this series called Intersection.

We've been bring uh bringing in and bridging this gap between faith and science.

And I know for a lot of people that may be challenging, but I love the beauty that has been created in this series.

And I pray that you have been taking home every week what God is trying to reveal of Himself to you throughout this series.

And we've been discovering that science doesn't replace God, but it actually helps us appreciate how wonderfully and how beautifully He created you and He created me.

And so throughout this series, we've heard some really big words.

I don't know about you, but I almost needed a vocabulary list to try to keep up.

But we've heard words like uh dopamine, we've heard words like oxytocin, we've heard words like neurotransmitters and all of that big science stuff.

And for some of us science nerds, y'all have been living your best life for the past few weeks.

And you brought your science friends, and I love that.

But today's message is a little different, and it's called In My Feelings.

Serotonin the Soul and the Whisper of God.

And this is really kind of, I think, uh God designed for me to be teaching, because I'm always in my feelings.

And a lot of us kind of can attest to that.

So before we get started, I want to pray real quick.

Father in heaven, may your name be glorified and honored and praised.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, for you, O Lord, are my strength and my redeemer.

Give us ears to hear this morning, eyes to see, and a willingness to respond in faith to everything that you teach us today.

In Jesus' name we pray.

Amen.

Amen.

Well, many of you know, if you've heard me speak before, you kind of have gathered how old I am.

And I grew up in the 80s and the 90s.

And what amen, I love it.

So what this means is that I grew up in an era of great music.

Absolutely phenomenal music.

No disrespect to the stuff that's out now, but y'all ain't heard music until you start listening to the 70s, the 80s, the 90s.

I might even give you early 2000s, but the bulk of it is right there in the 80s and 90s.

And what I loved about that time of my growing up is that everything I felt had a soundtrack to it.

Every emotion I had had a song attached to it.

When I had my crush, I could say, How did you know?

It's I never told.

You found out I got a crush on you.

I love it.

Y'all don't know nothing about the Jets.

Don't act like you know.

Or the first time I fell in love for your love, I would do anything just to see the smile.

Stevie gave us great soundtracks for those of us who were falling in love and having that first feeling.

What about that first heartbreak?

What about your first heartbreak?

I remember this like it was yesterday.

I was um in the 10th grade and I had failed the second half of geometry, and I had to go to summer school.

And this song came out, and me and my friend, we would always get out of class and go to the bathroom because this song had come out.

And we would go in the bathroom with these great acoustics and we would sing, although we've gone to the end of the road.

Still I can't let it go.

It's a natural, you know, those 90 songs had a big in all of them.

But the worst for me was unrequited love.

Do you know what that is?

Love that's not reciprocated.

You like him, but he don't like you back.

And I had plenty of embarrassing moments, but I remember very vividly one song that connected to that emotion to me.

And it says, I can make you love me if you don't.

You can make your heart feel something it won't hear in the door in these final hours.

I will lay down my heart and I'll feel power, but you won't know you.

Every emotion had a song, and I could connect.

That was the power of music.

But life isn't a song.

Life can hit really, really, really, really hard.

The death of a loved one, the divorce papers being slid over to you, the loss of a job, sickness, depression and anxiety.

Life hits hard and suddenly a song isn't strong enough to ease that pain.

We've all been there.

Some of us are sitting in that right now.

We're smiling on the outside, but deep down inside, we are on the struggle bus.

And we're wondering where these feelings come from.

I I can't seem to shake what I'm experiencing on the inside.

Why won't they go away?

And over the past few weeks, we've discovered that God created our brains with precision.

And we've talked about dopamine and oxytocin and all of those things.

And today we're going to talk about another chemical.

Today we're going to talk about serotonin.

We're going to talk about serotonin and science helps us understand how these chemicals influence all of our emotions.

They influence joy.

They influence connection, motivation, emotion.

But here's what's incredible.

Before chemicals identified serotonin, before anyone understood neurotransmitters, God was always and already showing up and showing us what it looks like when one of his children are emotionally overwhelmed.

This is not a new thing for our Heavenly Father.

He already had a plan.

Because science can help explain our emotions, but scripture reveals the God who responds to them.

And that's what we want to take a look at today.

And it leads me, it leads us to this question that I want to explore today.

What does God do when one of his children is overwhelmed by their feelings?

What does he do?

How does he respond?

Does he become disappointed in us?

Like, come on, you're stronger than that.

Does he become disappointed?

Does he tell us that uh we need to have more faith?

Come on, man up.

Does he shame us for our struggling?

What does God do?

Or does he meet us with something entirely different?

And to answer that question, we're gonna take a look at the life of one of the greatest prophets who ever lived.

And if anyone, if anyone in scripture should have been all up in their feelings, it was this guy.

If anyone should have been emotionally strong, it was this guy.

If anyone should have been celebrating and in a state of euphoria, it was this guy.

If anyone should have been on top of the world living his best life, it was this guy.

And his name was Elijah.

Somebody already knows.

His name was Elijah.

And so to appreciate what's happening in Elijah's emotions, we first have to understand what led to this place for him.

We have to understand what led him there.

So I want to give you a brief recap up to where we're gonna start this story.

King Ahab in 1 Kings, you can check out this story.

I want to encourage you to go read it.

But King Ahab and Queen Jezebel were in power.

And the two of them were the most wicked rulers in Israel at that time.

And they led God's people into the worship of an idol called Baal or Baal.

And so they led the children of Israel out of worshiping Yahweh into worshiping an idol God.

They replaced the worship of the creator with the worship of creation, idols.

And so God raised up this prophet to redirect and to correct and to lead his children back into truth.

And his name was Elijah.

He was a prophet, he was a truth teller, and he was bold and courageous.

He was a courageous servant of God, and God worked powerfully through Elijah and did amazing things.

Elijah announced a drought and it happened.

Elijah had a season where he was fed by ravens every day while he was being sought after to be killed by Ahab and Jezebel.

Elijah was lived with a widow and provided, that widow provided for him.

Elijah raised that widow's son from the dead.

Elijah called fire down from heaven onto Mount Carmel in this epic battle between God and Baal.

And Baal was defeated.

And then he canceled the drought, and rain finally comes after three and a half years.

I am telling y'all, Elijah was a bad dude.

He was that dude.

And if anyone should have been celebrating, it should have been Elijah.

But then something crazy happens.

And I want to pick up the story here.

In 1 Kings chapter 19, verse 1, it says, Ahab told Jezebel everything that Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword.

1 Kings 19:1

So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah saying, May the gods punish me and do so severely if I don't make your life like the life of one of them on this time tomorrow.

Then Elijah became afraid and immediately ran for his life.

When he came to Beersheba that but belonged to Judah, he left his servant there, but he went on a day's journey into the wilderness.

He sat down under a broom tree and prayed that he might die.

He said, I have had enough, Lord, take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors.

Then he lay down and slept under the broom tree.

Jezebel threatens Elijah.

One threat.

And that's all it took.

And this man, Elijah, runs for his life.

He leaves his servant behind.

He isolates himself.

And then he sits underneath this broom tree and listen to what he says.

He says, I have had enough, Lord.

Take my life.

Does that sound familiar?

It sounds a little familiar to me.

I've had enough.

The last time I was here, I shared with one of the services, I'm not sure if it was this one, but a few months back, I had some scans done, and they found a tumor on my right kidney.

And when I got this news, the doctor told me, he said, I think we're gonna have to take it.

Once the scan came back, he said it looks suspicious and it's grown, and we want to take it out.

And I'm like, you know, all right, I got this.

We good, we can do this.

But truth be told, something came over me that I had never experienced before in my life.

And it was a level of fear and anxiety and panic, and I did not see it coming.

I have been in this beautiful state of life, this season of life, my kids are gone.

I got grandkids coming out the wazoo, and I'm loving it.

My husband and I are on a high right now.

It's been wonderful.

And I haven't had a medical issue since 2018.

And now you gotta tell me I have to have surgery number six.

I was not happy.

And so when I read this story about Elijah, I get it.

I remember how I felt in that MRI machine, and I had my very first anxiety attack.

I literally squeezed the ball, like, get me out of here.

I want out.

And I had to own the fact that I was afraid because the last time I had a surgery, I had a stroke three days later, and I was terrified.

I didn't want to own that that's how I felt, but I was.

I didn't want to tell anybody, I didn't want to tell y'all.

But I said something, and the moment I started sharing it, God then began to minister to me, but I had to own that I was really afraid, but I felt like I should not be afraid.

I followed Jesus.

I know who he is, I know what he's done.

Why is my body responding this way?

Why am I so in my feelings?

I wouldn't even cry about it.

But what I realized is where I was and where Elijah was, this place of Lord, I have had enough.

No more surgeries, no more diagnosis.

I think I got it now.

But this wasn't weakness, it was exhaustion.

Elijah was exhausted, and science helps explain what scripture is showing us in this text.

God created our brains so beautifully.

And one chemical that he designed is serotonin.

And serotonin helps regulate things like mood and sleep and appetite.

Serotonin helps to regulate our emotional stability and our stress responses.

And under prolonged stress, those symptoms, those systems become overwhelmed.

I mean, think about it.

Especially in this particular story, Elijah had been going for three and a half years battling these horrific leaders.

And Elijah is overwhelmed.

And eventually, even heroes crash.

No matter how strong we are, we crash.

And I want to make a quick note scripture never says that Elijah had low serotonin.

And I'm not saying that either.

But what I am saying is that neuroscience helps us understand what prolonged stress does to a person.

And I think that's amazing.

I'm grateful that we have the science to help us understand these things.

And so I don't want to insert into scripture what's not there.

However, our creator, God, made every system in our bodies.

And fortunately, somebody has come up with the science and a name to tell us what it is.

So I think neuroscience helps describe what the scripture has already been showing us and what is happening here with Elijah.

And what's happening with some of you, what's happened with me.

And that's a beautiful thing.

So let's look at verse five and see how this story continues.

It says, suddenly an angel touched him.

Says, the angel told him, Get up and eat.

Then he looked, and there at his head was a loaf of bread baked over hot stones and a jug of water.

So he ate and drank and lay down again.

Then the angel of the Lord returned a second time and touched him.

He said, Get up and eat, or the journey will be too much for you.

So he got up, ate, and drank.

Then on the strength from that food, he walked 40 days and 40 nights to Horeb, the mountain of God.

Notice what God doesn't do.

He doesn't say, Pray harder, Elijah.

He doesn't say, hey, get on your face a little longer, Elijah.

Have more faith, Elijah.

Stop crying, Elijah.

Get over it, Elijah.

That's not what God does.

Instead, he sends an angel to say to him, get up and eat.

I love that.

Food is good medicine.

Facts.

And Elijah eats, and then what does he do?

He goes back to sleep.

That's some good food.

He ate and he went gold, he went back to sleep.

And God let him go back to sleep.

God didn't rush him through his emotions.

God didn't push him through his emotions.

God let him rest.

And the second time he sends another angel again and he says, Hey, get up and eat, for the journey is too long.

You're gonna need this nourishment for what's coming.

God knew Elijah wasn't just spiritually depleted, he was physically exhausted.

So much so that Elijah said, Take my life.

That's just how exhausted he was.

And again, we can we can testify to feeling this way.

How many of you, you don't have to raise your hand, but have been in that state where you felt like, you know what, I'm done.

I don't want to do this.

I'm tapped out.

You know how many times I wanted to call that doctor and say, you know what, it's just gonna be what it is.

I don't want to do this anymore.

I don't want to have this surgery.

I don't want to have to go through healing.

I don't want to be the sick person.

I don't want to be my husband's sick wife.

Those are the thoughts that I was having.

Those are some of the thoughts that you're having.

I don't want to miss any more work.

I don't want to have to explain this anymore.

But God never even answers Elijah's question.

He never responds to that statement of, I've had enough, take my life.

God never responds to that.

He tells him.

He responds to what's beneath his request.

What's truly going on in his heart.

And instead of correction, he gives compassion.

Instead of correction, he gives compassion.

Instead of condemnation, he gives Cares for him instead of a lecture, he gives him lunch.

Isn't God amazing that he cares for us so much that he sends things to respond to the real emotion that's going on in our minds and in our bodies?

Psalm 103, 14 says, For he knows what we are made of, remembering that we are dust.

Think about that for a second.

Because I think oftentimes we forget that we are just merely flesh and blood.

We are not superhuman.

We may love the Marvel comics.

We may love all of these superheroes.

Lord knows I wish I was Elastigirl.

Or Lord knows I wish I was superwoman.

I could just twirl around and just have all these superpowers, but I'm not.

I am flesh and blood.

You are flesh and blood.

And sometimes you just tired.

Sometimes you just need a nap.

Sometimes you just need some good old comfort food, some smothered chicken with gravy and rice and cornbread and collard greens and candy yams and a nice old slab of some German chocolate cake.

And I promise you you'll feel better.

And sleep real good.

Ain't nothing like a sugar coma.

Just ah.

God knows that we're flesh and blood.

And he made our brains and our hormones and our neurotransmitters and all of our emotions.

He made all of those things.

He's not ignorant of what's going on in your heart and in your emotions.

He gets it.

And nothing that Elijah was experiencing surprised God.

And nothing you're experiencing surprises God either.

Nothing I felt surprised God.

He understood.

And he met me exactly where I was.

And when I felt like I was going to sink to my lowest low, like I had never felt that bad, he sent his angel to minister to me by way of a friend.

To sit with me, to pray with me, to remind me of who God is.

And that it was okay.

I literally met with my spiritual director.

And she said, Um, April, let me ask you a question.

Uh when did you decide that you weren't allowed to have emotions?

That you weren't allowed to feel.

And I was like, okay, can we end this Zoom now?

I don't want to talk to you anymore.

I didn't want to feel that way.

I felt weak.

I felt like a punk.

I did.

But she gave me permission.

She reminded me that I'm flesh and blood and God cares about how I feel.

And if I own that with him, he's got an angel ready to minister to it.

If I say, Lord, this is where I am, just like Elijah did, I'm tired.

I have had enough.

Take my life.

Even if I wanted to end it all.

God, in his grace and compassion, doesn't respond to that, but he gets to the heart of the matter.

I know you're tired, baby.

It's gonna be okay.

And then I want us to notice the order of God's restoration of Elijah, what he did in response.

First, we see him responding to his body.

He gave him sleep, he gave him food, and he gave him water.

Hallelujah.

Then he reaches out and he connects with his soul in conversation.

He connected to him in conversation.

He allowed him to lament.

He says, Elijah, what are you doing here?

He said, Man, I've been doing the most for you.

I have been fighting for you.

I have been trying to get your people to do the right thing and they're not listening to me.

And now Jezebel is coming after me and she wants to kill me.

That's why I'm hurting so bad.

And the Lord let him say it all.

And I think that's something many of us miss.

We don't take the opportunity to lament, to actually pour it all out to the Lord.

I am struggling.

And I don't think it's fair.

I don't want to have to do this.

But God is meeting us right there.

So he ministers to his body, he ministers to his soul, and then he ministers to his spirit by offering him his presence and a whisper from God.

Let's look at verse 9.

In verse 9, he says, He entered a cave there and spent the night.

It says, Then the word of the Lord came to him and he said to him, What are you doing here, Elijah?

He says, I have been very zealous for the Lord, God of hosts, but the Israelites have abandoned your covet your covenant, torn down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, I alone and left, and they are looking to take my life.

Then he says, Go out and stand on the mountain in the Lord's presence.

At that moment the Lord passed by.

A great and mighty wind was tearing at the mountains and was shattering cliffs before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind.

After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.

After the earthquake, there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.

And after the fire, there was a voice, a soft whisper.

When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle.

He wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.

Suddenly a voice came to him and said, What are you doing here, Elijah?

He says, I have been very zealous for the Lord.

God of hosts, he replied, But the Israelites have abandoned your covenant and torn down your altars and killed your prophets with the sword.

I alone am left.

I alone am left, and they're looking for me to take my life.

God says, What are you doing here?

Elijah.

God didn't need that information.

God already knew.

But Elijah needed to reveal why he was there.

Our God knows us, but he does want to hear from us.

He wants us to share our emotions with him.

And so Elijah poured out of his heart.

He says, I've been faithful, I'm all alone, and they're coming to kill me.

And his feelings became his reality.

And for some of us in the room today, our feelings are what we are living in.

We are in our feelings.

Okay, nobody tell us nothing.

Nobody can lift us up.

People are trying to encourage us.

God is sending angels to minister to us, and we're just rejecting them.

No, I want to stay in my feelings.

Nobody gets it.

Nobody understands.

Nobody's been here.

Nobody hears what I'm what I'm saying.

Nobody understands what I'm feeling.

And what we feel becomes our whole truth.

What Elijah was feeling became his whole truth.

But the whole truth is always found, the real whole truth is always found in the presence of God.

Our feelings can be deceitful, but in the presence of God is where real truth lies.

And so then the wind came and the earthquake came and the fire came, but God wasn't in any of those things, but it was that gentle whisper.

Sometimes God moves with power.

Sometimes God moves with might.

But sometimes God speaks with gentleness.

God didn't uh compete with Elijah's chaos.

He met him in his presence.

He met Elijah in his presence.

And so there's three things that I want us to remember from this scripture when we talk about serotonin and being in our feelings.

The first thing I want you to know is that your feelings are real.

You're not making it up.

You're not crazy.

Your feelings are genuine.

They are real.

They're yours.

And God knows them.

Don't deny what you're feeling.

Don't dismiss how you're feeling.

Don't minimize what you're feeling.

And don't let anybody else minimize them either.

Because God doesn't.

They have value to Him.

And how you're feeling isn't sinful.

It's not wrong to be weak.

It's not wrong to be tired.

You're not a bad Christian because you're weary and you're worn out.

They're actually indicators, but they're not dictators.

Your feelings are indicators, but they are not dictators.

Don't let them navigate the rest of your life.

Number two, your feelings are not your leaders.

They're not your leaders.

Feelings make terrible leaders.

Horrible.

Why?

Because while they're real, they're not always true.

They're real.

Hear what I'm saying.

You are feeling that, but it doesn't make it true.

It doesn't make it true.

Elijah felt alone.

He felt defeated.

He felt finished.

But God said otherwise.

I felt like I could have another stroke.

But God said otherwise.

Because I'm standing here today.

And I had surgery on June 24th.

And what I had to remember is that what was does not have to be now.

And I had to remember that the same God who kept me through surgery number one and surgery number two and surgery number three and surgery number four and five will also keep me and carry me through surgery number six.

So I had to not let my feelings become the leader of how I walked into that season of my life.

And so don't allow your feelings and your emotions to become your dictator and to lead your life.

Number three, God's presence is greater than your feelings.

His presence is greater than your feelings.

I say this to y'all all the time.

I say it to everybody.

Get in God's face.

Get on your knees, get in his face, get in his presence, lift up a worship, and watch those emotions start to shift.

Watch those feelings start to come in line with the truth of God's word.

Feelings fluctuate, but God doesn't.

His character is consistent, his promises are true, and his purpose remains.

What God has begun in you will be completed.

I don't care what any doctor says, I don't care what any papers say, I don't care what any school says.

The work that God has started in your life, he is faithful to complete.

So tell your feelings you need to talk to the Lord about that because I know what he said.

And it's exactly what Elijah did.

He got sleep, he ate, and he received help.

So I'm here to tell you today, eat.

Well, y'all got plenty of options here in Houston.

I love it here.

Anything you want, eat.

Don't let your body sink.

Eat.

Sleep.

Rest.

And that's not even just physically, but rest in your soul.

Walk around.

Well, maybe not in this heat, but go somewhere where there's some AC and get some fresh, good, air-conditioned air.

Go for a swim.

Go to the pool.

Take a vacation.

You got plenty of vacation days.

Your job don't need you that bad.

Take some time off and go somewhere.

Spend a little money and get some rest.

Sleep.

And if you need help, go get help.

Tell somebody else what's happening.

Talk to someone.

You have a wonderful care team here at your church.

They are here and available to walk alongside you, to give you resources and people who can help you.

If you need a little medication, take the medication.

When I went into my surgery, they asked me, they said, hey, we've got this, uh, we call it a happy shot.

But it's just this little pill to kind of reduce your anxiety going into the surgery.

And I wrestled with it for a second.

I was like, I thought I got over this.

I'm a woman of faith, but if I take this shot, am I telling God that I don't really receive the freedom he gave me from this anxiety?

And I was like, nah.

Give me that happy shot.

And I went on to sleep and I had, oh, it was great.

Take some medicine if you're prescribed medication and pray over that medication and thank God for the science that created it and worship God and rest.

None of those things compete with our faith.

They come alongside it.

And they may actually create the space where your faith can breathe.

So don't limit yourself in that way.

So our takeaway today isn't about serotonin.

It's about God.

It's about the God who feeds exhausted prophets.

It's about the God who sits with depressed people.

It's about the God who speaks to fearful hearts.

It's about the God who whispers to every weary soul, yours and mine.

It's about the God who reminds broken people that I'm not finished with you.

You have a work to do.

And I know you're in your feelings, but I'm with you.

Elijah thought his story was over.

You may think your story is over, but I'm here to remind you today that God says that your next assignment is waiting.

The purpose that I have started in you will be fulfilled.

And when Elijah was in his feelings, I'm talking about all in his feelings.

God didn't give him a sermon or a lecture.

God gave him sleep, food, and water.

And most importantly, God gave him his presence, he gave him his voice, and he reminded him of his purpose.

Why?

Because God cares about your feelings.

He really, really does.

So maybe today you're feeling like Elijah.

You're exhausted, you're anxious, you're depressed, you're sick, you can't eat, you're overwhelmed, you feel like giving up.

And I want you to hear today the gentle voice of God saying, get up.

Eat.

Get in my presence.

Let me do the work that I have to do in your heart.

Not because he doesn't care about your pain, because he has strength for your journey.

Everything you need to walk out everything in your heart and your purpose to do.

And he's not finished with you.

He's not finished with any of us.

So let him give you what you need to, as my mama would say, go another further.

It's right there, waiting for you.

Can I pray for us?

God, we thank you.

For caring for how we feel.

Thank you for the permission.

Thank you for the permission to have a bad day.

To have a bad season.

Thank you for the permission to be human and feel weak.

And need your strength.

Your word tells us that your strength is made perfect in our weakness.

So, God, here in this moment, we lay our feelings at your feet.

We start now.

Thank you for the reminder that you care about how we feel.

Thank you for giving us a level of understanding that you created our brains to have these feelings so that we can acknowledge them and own them and share them with you.

You want to minister to exactly where we are.

Help us to let you do that.

Help us to receive the help that you have available to us.

Help us to say to someone that we need help in this season of our lives.

And thank you for your presence.

Thank you for your purpose.

Thank you for your soft, sweet voice saying, I understand, and it's gonna be okay.

And I pray, Lord God, that you would help us to remember that our feelings are not our Father.

Because our Father leads us in truth.

Help us to replace those negative feelings with the truth of who you say we are and the opportunity to gain strength in you to go the distance.

We can do it only by your strength, your mercy, and your grace.

We thank you for that opportunity.

And we will go forward moment by moment, day by day.

In Jesus' name we pray.

Amen.