The Image of Christ in Marriage

Father in heaven, we thank you that your word addresses every aspect of human life.

And Lord, we would be foolish to be people that treat your word like a buffet,

taking what we enjoy, leaving what might seem unappetizing.

Lord, this morning as we open up in your word and take a look at what you have to say to us

about husbands and wives, Lord, we pray that you would, by your Holy Spirit,

help us to be underneath your word, to consider your word, even to wrestle with your word,

but Lord, ultimately to hear and do and obey and to live by your word.

Not because you are some kind of vindictive or angry or egotistical or tyrannical God,

because you are good and perfect and holy.

You deserve all the praise and you've given us your word for our benefit, for our encouragement.

And we pray all of this in Christ's name. Amen.

So, obviously by my prayer, you might have guessed we're looking at a potentially controversial text.

And what's interesting, and maybe you guys would pick this up living in a government town,

whenever there's a controversial announcement in the government,

be it the liberals or the conservatives, whoever,

it's usually announced in the afternoon on a Friday before a long weekend.

So, it just so happens that we are going to be talking about wives being subject to their husbands

on a long weekend.

That was completely coincidental.

I mean, it could have been last week on Mother's Day,

but I don't think that would have flown super well either.

So, the point is, we preach through books of the Bible.

We set our preaching schedule months in advance,

and it just so happened that, here we go,

we're preaching through 1 Peter chapter 3 this morning.

1 Peter 3 · chapter mention

But jokes aside, I want to open up with a question.

What is real power?

Is it the ability to subjugate, to conquer,

exert one's will upon another so that both you and the,

so that the subdued can serve you?

Is power merely a zero-sum game where there's winners and losers,

rulers and the ruled, the strong and the weak?

It seems that in our day, and again, generally speaking,

I'll use a lot of generalities, but I'll make sure I preface my generalities with,

this is a generality.

That seems to be the way power is portrayed.

But I'll just put forward to this right off the bat,

that we have a distorted view of power in the West,

partly because of the influences of socialism and Marxism

in universities over the last 100 years,

that seems to interpret everything through a power dynamic of oppressed and oppressor.

But I would say even more so because we are broken people.

We are bent.

We are addicted to power where we win and others lose.

We are addicted to a type of power where we are elevated and fawned over,

and that ultimately means people serving our interests.

We are addicted to a type of power that demands to be served and not to serve.

And by the way, if you aren't striving for the subjugating part of the power dynamic,

and you find yourself being subjugated and being on the low end of this equation,

that also speaks to the lens by which you view power in our world, strong and weak.

But you might just be on the weak end of it.

I would say, again, that this is a distorted view of what God intended when he created the world,

how we are to interact relationally with one another.

So we enter into a portion of our scripture, 1 Peter 3, 1-7,

that opens up by saying,

Wives, be subject to your husbands.

Big question underlines this entire section.

Is this a pretext to justify a ruler versus ruled relationship within a marriage?

Where the man is superior and the wife is inferior?

Or is there something else at work?

How should we navigate this text?

An easy way, and a lot of more conservative commentators would look at it as a contextual issue.

We can just talk about it contextually.

But really, that either diminishes God's word or it doesn't deal with the sharp edges.

So, how do we deal with a text like this?

I've said this in the past.

I'll say it again, and I'll say it in the future.

With trembling, we walk towards difficult passages in the Bible.

That's our commitment in this church.

That's why we try our very best to preach through the entirety of the Bible.

And that's what we'll do this morning.

But we're going to do so with the hermeneutic or the lens that God is good.

And that in God, there is no evil.

And that God looks to bless and to encourage and to build up.

Not to strike down, not to subjugate, not to curse.

So, this passage, like the rest of God's word, is good news.

If that makes your skin crawl a little bit, let's stick with me.

It is good news, not just for men, but it has to be good news for all, which includes women.

So, Peter does indeed address wives, verses 1 to 6.

The biggest portion of this section is addressed to wives.

Men have one verse.

However, in both cases, Peter provides principles that help men and women live in service to one another.

But most importantly, to glorify Christ and follow his example of using their freedom to serve others.

You would have known this if you were here the past couple weeks.

We talked about that Christ sets us free, not from responsibility, not from commandments,

but in order that we may serve and to lay down our lives for others.

That reality, that truth, is going to inform this section as well.

So, Peter addresses wives with three imperatives, three things, three commands.

But he also addresses husbands, in the case of husbands, verse 7, with two commands.

It's very simple.

We'll look at wives in these three imperatives and then husbands with their two imperatives

and see how God, through the writings of the Apostle Peter,

calls both men and women to imitate and image Christ in their lives and together in their marriage.

Friends, I'll say it again.

This is good news for us.

It helps us to live faithfully for God's glory and the good of our neighbors

and as citizens of heaven as we live here on earth.

It's the message of 1 Peter.

But this is good news.

Why don't we jump right into it?

Let's take a look at these three imperatives for wives.

But before we get into it,

just a bit of a reminder, a critical reminder from previous weeks.

The first one is to remember that this section is not an island in 1 Peter.

It has a whole portion that goes before it that will inform our reading.

I've mentioned that a bit already.

But this section is embedded in Peter's letter.

So it opens up by saying in verse 1,

likewise, which connects it to the previous section that calls for free citizens of heaven

and to offer their lives as a sacrifice for the service of God and for others.

That is a very important point.

The section that goes immediately before it,

verses 21 to 25 of chapter 2,

is this beautiful portrayal of Jesus as the suffering servant

who lays his life down for his sheep

and gathers and oversees his sheep who are wayward,

who are lost.

He is the overseer of their souls.

The second important thing, sorry,

the second important thing to remember

is that we,

and this is from a number of weeks previously,

that the imperatives of Jesus

always precede,

the indicatives of Jesus always precede the imperatives.

What am I saying?

What God does through Christ

always informs how we then live,

which is to say,

Jesus dies on the cross making us his own.

In light of that, then we live.

But it's not the other way around.

It's not,

we do fantastic works for God,

we curry his favor,

we tip the scale in our favor,

God looks down,

he then says,

worthy,

and then bestows upon us salvation.

And that's an important key bit in this

because this is a hard text,

a very difficult text,

not just for Roman women in the first century,

but for women and men,

we'll see,

throughout the centuries.

So two really important bits

to remember from previous sections

in 1 Peter

before we get into it.

So, okay,

that's a bit of an important lens,

a reminder,

as we get into the portion of Scripture.

Let me read.

The first imperative,

the first command,

be subject to your husbands.

Likewise,

verse 1,

likewise,

wives,

be subject to your own husbands,

so that even if some do not obey the word,

they may be won without a word

by the conduct of their wives,

when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

Pause there.

The Roman world valued order

above almost everything else,

the building block for society.

A rightly ordered home

was critical

for a rightly ordered empire.

A properly ordered home

meant that a woman

would follow her husband

in all social,

religious,

and political matters.

Women would not enjoy friendships

apart from their husband's

sphere of connection.

She would worship

his household gods.

She would raise his children

and be faithful to him,

even though it was permissible

and almost,

it was almost ubiquitous

that men would have

mistresses

or other companions,

be they women or boys,

and they couldn't say

a thing about it.

But what happens

when a woman becomes a Christian

in ancient Rome?

The potential for disruption

or disorder

within the household

was a real threat.

That's specifically

if the husband didn't come to faith

as well,

but it was just

the wife.

She would not add Christ

to her household's

existing collection of gods,

but worship him alone.

Big problem in the ancient world

to not follow

one's husband.

She would have

a new friend group

outside of her home,

and not like a nice,

you know,

we're going to grab coffee

every, you know,

third Thursday of the month

and gossip.

This new friend group

was like a family.

She was welcomed

into a new community.

She wasn't calling

this person

or that person

by their names,

but brother and sister.

She would have

a new friend group

that would be

even closer

in many respects

to her own family.

She would continue

to honor the emperor.

We saw that

in chapter 2,

but no longer

would the emperor

be the god king,

for only Christ

is the eternal king

of kings.

You see how this

has a potential

to disorder

a home

and potentially

disorder

the empire.

it's in this context

that Peter exhorts

women to submit

to their husbands,

which raises

all sorts of

how does one

do that questions,

especially when one

considers that being

subject to one's

husband no longer

includes the very

aspects that would

maintain household

order.

This is a minefield

in the first century.

So Peter is doing

this for a couple

big reasons.

Number one,

God also is a god

of order,

not chaos.

An ordered household

is a good thing,

not necessarily

in the Roman context,

but nevertheless,

it's a good thing.

But also because

Peter wants

to prevent

Christianity

to be seen

as a social ill

and an evil

that destroys

family cohesion,

but also,

and finally,

because this is

an opportunity

to evangelize

an unbelieving

husband.

That's all well

and good,

but it's still,

it's still,

there's still the rub.

Wives,

be subject

to your husbands.

So a few

important notes.

What this is not

saying,

and this is an

important bit,

this does not

mean that husbands

are to have

authority over

the wife

as if she were

a slave

or piece of

property.

Not at all.

The only place,

I'll just say this,

nowhere in the New

Testament is the

husband given

one-way authority

over the wife,

interestingly.

The only place

that that kind

of authority

over,

that authority

over,

is referenced

is in marital

relations where

both the husband

and the wife

have authority

over each other's

bodies.

Again,

we're not going

to talk about that,

that's a rabbit

trail,

but that would

be unheard

of in the

ancient world.

That's 1 Corinthians

7 if you want

to take a look

at it.

This is also

not a blanket

statement that

all women should

be subject to

all men at

all times.

Instead,

very clearly,

it says that

a woman should

be subject

to her own

husband.

Also,

when it says

to be subject,

is it saying

that a woman

in every context

should be subject

to her husband

without exception,

without pushback?

If a wife

tells a husband

to run an errand

or to consider

an issue

that he may

have overlooked

or encourages

him to do good

and not evil,

does that imply

an infringement

upon the commandment

in 1 Peter 3?

The answer

is no,

and we'll touch

on that a bit

more in the section

when we look

at husbands.

So,

that's all

of what

this isn't

saying.

So,

even that

is

some good

stuff.

I mean,

it puts it

in context,

it helps us

to nuance it.

Still,

it's a call

to be subject

to another

person.

And it's still,

there's still

a rub,

there's still

sharp edges

with that.

It's still

in a direct

contravention

to our,

to today's

egalitarian

standards and

values here

in Ottawa.

But again,

we must read

this text

and see

the great

wisdom and

encouragement

in it.

Men and

women are

different.

We are

different in

all sorts

of different

ways,

and some

of those

differences

are less

pronounced

in some

examples.

There are

some men

that aren't

as tall

as women

or as

strong

as women.

There's

a whole,

some men

are generally

speaking,

maybe more

nurturing,

some women

aren't so

nurturing,

but by and

large,

generally

speaking,

there are

significant

differences

between men

and women.

And to say

otherwise

is to not

understand

the way God

has created

mankind.

Women are

uniquely

positioned

in family

and community

to nurture

and to teach

and to guide

and to create

beauty,

to create

order from

chaos,

to civilize,

to cultivate.

But the

world does

not value

such qualities.

They're

spoken,

maybe not

ill of,

but they're

not elevated

to the

wonderful,

glorious

things that

they are

because it's

not a position

of power.

Such work

can't be

monetized.

It's a lie

that our

culture tells

us that

such work,

and by the

way,

this can be

done by

women that

work career

jobs or

not,

it's not so

much a call

for all women

to stay home

at all times,

but the lie

is that the

world tells

women,

in order to

flourish,

you need to

produce,

and you need

to earn,

and you need

to be a part

of the economy.

And I think

that's problematic

if that is

not understood

alongside of

this call

to create

and to

bless,

to cultivate,

to create

order out

of chaos.

It also

contravenes

this idea

of being

untethered

by nothing

or no one,

limitations

completely evil.

But what

is truly evil

is to call

foul what

God has

designed to

be good,

nurturing

and beauty

creation,

love,

teaching,

protecting.

It's a

beautiful thing.

I have a

dear friend,

he's preached

here a couple

times,

Dr. Lyndon

Jost,

he's in

Toronto at

Christ Church

Toronto.

He wrote

his dissertation

on headship,

this very

topic,

at

Wycliffe

College.

And he

said this,

our world,

quote,

our world

is confused

about what

true power

and authority

is.

In Christ's

kingdom,

it isn't

the external

things,

the overt,

strong,

harsh,

or abrasive

things,

but the

hidden,

gentle,

and quiet

things that

are beautiful.

Women are

called to be

exemplary of

what each

of us is

called to

be in

relation to

God.

Submission,

ironically,

is true

power,

for every

woman in

her marriage

has the

freedom to

choose whether

she will

submit or

demand

submission.

The world

confuses

beauty all

the time.

It takes

what is

good and

tarnishes

it, or

excludes a

key aspect

of what

makes it

beautiful.

This is

what it

was in

the garden

when Satan

said to

Adam and

Eve,

calling into

question what

God truly

said, the

beauty, the

goodness, the

kindness, the

grace of

God's

command.

He didn't

create, but

he bent and

tarnished and

confused,

bastardized.

Lyndon, my

friend Lyndon,

touches on

what this, the

beauty of what

godly submission

can look like,

both for men

and for women,

by affirming

what Peter says

about the

second imperative.

That second

imperative is

this, the

adornment of

a godly

heart.

So look

with me at

verses 3

and 4.

Do not

let your

adorning be

external, the

braiding of

hair and the

putting on of

gold jewelry, or

the clothing you

wear, but let

your adorning be

the hidden

person of the

heart, with

the, here it

is, imperishable

beauty of a

gentle and

quiet spirit,

which in

God's sight is

very precious.

Does Peter

forbid all

aesthetics?

The answer

is no.

I think what

is, to draw

from this a

legalistic ban

on beauty or

clothing is to

misread this

text.

Instead, what

he is doing is

lifting up what

is true, eternal

beauty.

And it is not

on trend that

trends come and

go, but it is

kindness and

goodness and

truth and

faithfulness and

compassion.

The kind of

beauty that is

not subject to

the whims of

whoever is the

number one

fashion whatever,

I'm not a

fashion guy, I

don't know what

they're called,

designer of the

day, but rather

it's rooted in the

imperishable

Christ.

And like this

view of power

that is broken,

we have a broken

view of beauty in

our culture.

And it is like

hyper broken in

our day.

Online influencers,

style blogs,

social media,

communicate to,

sorry, communicates

to us that youth is

the only thing that

matters.

Wrinkles,

grays,

didn't know how

to say this,

so I said this and

hopefully it's funny,

but you understand

what I'm trying to

say.

Any body that's

not a 21-year-old,

nine days a week,

Pilates instructor.

Anything that

deviates from that

isn't as nice,

isn't as beautiful.

You can't diet

enough, you can't

exercise enough,

you can't serum

your wrinkles away

enough, you have

an entire, we have

an entire anti-aging

cosmetic industry

that promises youth

and virility.

So last year,

Canadians spent some

four billion dollars

on anti-aging.

That includes

cosmetic surgery.

I'm not lifting

this up to say

it is evil,

but just to say

it is disordered.

Beauty,

aesthetics,

they are God-given,

God has made this

world to be beautiful

and to capture it

and to enjoy it

is a wonderful thing,

but what happens

is that we put

our eternal worth

on the exterior,

not what's inside.

so pervasive

is this lie

that many young

women and

increasingly men

in their 20s

and 30s

are getting

body augmentation,

plastic surgery

to change the look

of their face,

but nothing is done

about the hidden

heart,

the character

of men and women.

Christ,

through Peter,

is saying,

listen,

where true beauty

resides

is in the heart

that is turned

towards God

in the service

of him and others.

By the way,

that's a call

for both men

and women.

The call

is towards

modesty

and restraint

in beauty

and aesthetics,

which will look

different from

culture to culture,

culture,

but it should

always mark

the Christian.

Again,

both men

and women.

Once again,

we are free

in Christ,

but what do we

use our freedom

for?

For the service

of others,

to grow in faith,

to give God

glory.

So it boils

down to this.

Go home

and trash

all of your,

no,

I'm not saying

that at all.

Ultimate worth

has to be found

in Christ

because only

Christ

is eternal.

Only he

is imperishable.

If we are

wearing nice

clothing,

if we want

to take care

of our bodies,

that is a beautiful,

godly thing

to do

if it is

properly ordered.

But it is a check

on our souls,

on our hearts.

Throughout history,

clothing and

jewelry have been

signs of worth

and empowerment

and value.

Purples and reds

were worn,

and maybe still are,

I don't know,

but they were worn

to show your wealth,

to show your

prowess.

Gold

to show,

again,

your wealth.

If we are dressing,

if we are engaging

in such a way

to promote

who we are,

but we are

leaving

the inside

much dirtier

than the outside,

we are missing

the point.

We will not

be free,

but we will be

enslaved to our

passions and desires.

This is telling us

that the inward

is the real.

Inward is the authentic,

the genuine.

The outward

fades and perishes.

It just does.

Concerning the gentle

and quiet spirit,

this is not some

euphemism,

this is not some

kind of veiled

way of saying

women need to be

pushovers or

defined by passivity,

not at all.

It is a call

to be like Christ.

Matthew 11,

29,

Jesus is described

as gentle

and lowly.

Gentle

and lowly

is our Savior.

He is compassionate,

he is loving,

he is empathetic,

he is kind,

he is ferociously

protective of the

vulnerable.

Again,

like my friend

Lyndon said,

women are called

to be exemplary

of what each of us

is called to be

in relation to God.

It changes things

when we read it

that way.

I mean,

you can read,

it's a terrible thing

about certain

interpretations,

you can read

whatever you want

into this,

but again,

we have this

hermeneutic

that we can't

read one part

of the Bible

at the expense

of another part

of the Bible.

We can't read

a quiet

and gentle spirit

without reading

about how Jesus

is gentle

and lowly

and all

of what that means.

The final imperative

is to fear nothing.

Take a look with me

at verses 5 to 6.

For this is how

the holy women

who hoped in God

used to adorn themselves

by submitting

to their own husbands

as Sarah obeyed Abraham,

calling him Lord.

And you are her children

if you do good

and do not fear

anything that is frightening.

The third imperative

is found,

verse 6,

fear nothing

that is frightening.

Once again,

this is not some kind

of blanket command

to never fear,

but again,

it's in the context

of hope in God,

a life of faith.

To have faith in Christ

even in a situation

where one's husband

is an unbeliever,

it's no easy task.

Fear seems to be a default.

Courage is not common.

That's why we hold up courage

as this wonderful,

beautiful virtue

because it is not common.

It is remarkable.

It is exemplary.

In this case,

this is a call

to not fear.

And this is

a tough situation

because marriages,

even the best,

can be full and fraught

with difficulty and trials.

In the case of Sarah,

she entrusted herself to God

even as Abraham

led her

into some horrendous situations,

marrying her off

to basically a warlord,

lying,

not showing courage himself.

He was not a good man.

He made decisions

that put her life

and her future in jeopardy.

But she entrusted herself

to the Lord.

And I think this is

the big emphasis

behind what Peter

is trying to say.

But this raises

another question.

Does faith in God

mean that a woman

ought to stay in a marriage

even though there is

abuse or neglect?

She is subject to her husband

no matter what, correct?

It seems like there's a bit,

there's no caveat here.

There's no,

only in this case.

But again,

we don't read

Bible portions

as islands.

Historically,

in the church,

there has been,

well,

I'll say this first.

This is not a how-to manual,

an exhaustive how-to manual

of how husbands and wives

ought to live.

It's a part of that.

But it is not an exhaustive.

So that's why we

can't read it as,

aha,

this is justification

for enduring

terrible abuse.

Historically,

abuse has been

among the three

legitimate reasons

for separation.

The other two,

abandonment and adultery.

It's easy to remember

the three A's.

Abuse,

abandonment,

and adultery.

But again,

what is in view here

is that a wife

who willingly submits

to an unbelieving husband

or in a problematic situation

within a marriage

is to do so

in order to

win

her husband

to faith.

To lay down her life

for the sake of her husband

and to trust in God's

leading and provision.

I mean,

listen,

I'm not saying

it's an easy text

here to read.

This is stuff

that we have to wrestle with.

Christine and I,

we have a mentor couple.

They were instrumental

in us coming together.

They are retired missionaries

in France.

But Catherine has this line

where,

well,

I guess David as well,

where they say,

listen,

you just,

you lead people to Jesus

and they can wrestle with him.

They can wrestle with him.

And in a sense,

this is what we're doing.

We're coming before this text

taking a hard,

honest look at it.

It is not easy.

Wrestle with God over it.

His shoulders are broad.

He can take it.

But thanks be to God

that Peter doesn't stop here

but also address his husband.

So,

women,

wives,

they are called to be subject.

There's all sorts of different caveats

that we looked at.

They are to adorn themselves

with godly character,

which is our call as well

as husbands and men

married or not.

And then to fear nothing,

which again is a call

to a life of faith.

You see,

all of these imperatives

are applied across the board

to everybody

regardless of where they are at

relationally.

But let's take a look at husbands

as we continue on.

Before we get into it,

I'll read this wonderful quote.

By Ambrose of Milan.

You are not a master

but a husband.

What you have acquired

is not a handmaid

but a wife.

Be a sharer in her love.

Verse 7 says this.

Likewise, husbands,

live with your wives

in an understanding way,

showing honor to the woman

as the weaker vessel,

since they are heirs with you

of the grace of life,

so that your prayers

may not be hindered.

The first commandment

we see here

is to live with one's wife

in an understanding way.

This is, I mean,

maybe the most challenging

imperative

that command

that is given

because it requires men

to be humble

and brave.

To authentically

and genuinely count

his wife's needs

as more significant

than his own

means asking questions

and lots of questions,

listening,

empathetically,

doing the hard work

to understand

what makes

one's wife tick,

which is to say

recognizing her uniqueness,

her strength,

her weaknesses,

her qualities,

her quirks.

It means earning

her trust

and safeguarding it.

It's hard work.

It might seem

so overwhelming

that there's

a paralysis.

That's where

the bravery comes in.

there's a call

to be brave

in all of this.

It's to restrict

your enjoyment

in terms of hobbies

and the way

you spend your money

and your time

to focus on

this person

in front of you.

You know,

it is also the call

for all of us

as we interact

with brothers and sisters

in the church,

not to the same degree,

but it's still

the call

to live

in a godly,

selfless,

self-giving relationship.

Whenever

Christine and I

have disagreements,

which happens,

I mean,

every fifth year

or something,

it's,

we're always,

we nail it

all the time.

No,

we get into,

we get into arguments

and almost every time,

9.5 times out of 10,

I'm saying,

you're not

understanding me.

You're not

understanding me.

And somehow

I turn into,

like an Italian,

like you're not

understanding me,

my hands go crazy.

The call isn't

for her to understand me,

although that's

a very appropriate,

that's a very good thing.

I am called

to understand her.

In the moment,

that means

I may or may not

get to my issues

within this disagreement,

within this

tete-a-tete.

But I ought to

get to hers.

How on earth

are you to understand

anyone,

let alone

your own wife?

Or, again,

expand it out

to your friends,

to your parents,

whoever it may be,

if you are heavy-handed,

demanding,

and using your authority

for your selfish gain

and not for her flourishing.

How on earth

can you understand

your wife?

If your chest

is so puffed up

and your ears

are so stopped

that you can't

understand what

she has to say,

what's even worse

is when you tell her

what she thinks.

And I'm not trying

to make a joke

about that,

because that is

a dismissal.

That's not hearing

somebody.

That is thinking

you hear somebody.

Different things.

you start to see

how this call

to understand

the wife

that you are living with

is not some kind

of throwaway command,

but it is deep.

It's heavy,

but it is good.

The second command

is no less demanding,

though,

showing honor

to the woman

as the weaker vessel.

Let me read here.

Showing honor

to the woman

as the weaker vessel,

since they are heirs

with you of the grace

of life.

I'll pause there.

Let's deal first

with this weaker vessel

comment.

For Aristotle,

women were weak

in body and courage.

For other philosophers,

women also lacked

mental endurance.

Peter's not saying

either of that.

But he is certainly

referring to physical strength

in comparison to a man.

And that, by the way,

has other implications

as well for how women

have been pushed down

and subjugated

and how that can

cause all sorts

of other appearances

of weakness.

I'm not saying it is,

because it would happen

in a man as well.

But Peter is specifically

talking,

almost certainly,

referring to a physical difference,

a physical weakness.

And again,

it is a generality.

There are some women

that are stronger

than some men,

but generally speaking,

men are stronger

than women.

And by doing this,

he recognizes

the very real vulnerability

men have,

or that women have faced

with men who take advantage

of their vulnerability

over the centuries

and millennia.

So the response

to this reality,

showing honor.

Honor includes living

with understanding,

like we just saw,

but also seeking the good.

Remember,

the previous section,

Peter says,

show honor to everyone,

including the emperor.

It means spending

one's life,

his talents,

his time,

his treasures

for the sake

of one's family,

but also others as well.

So important is this

that Peter says,

an abdication

of such command

will stunt

one's spirituality.

how can one pray

to the Savior

who had all the freedoms

and privileges

of heaven

and left it

to take on human flesh,

to die as a servant

on our behalf?

How are we

to pray to that God

when we are subjugating

the very person

that he has given us

the privilege to help

in their walk

and life to flourish?

You can see how

it would totally

stymie

one's spiritual life.

Again,

a call for the inward

to match the outward,

right?

So what ends up happening?

We see that in the call

to show understanding

and to honor a woman,

it is directly connected

with what we will be judged

with as men.

Because Christ himself,

what will he,

at the end of the age,

what will he do?

He will present his bride,

the church,

spotless before God.

And that in a part

is our call as well,

to make sure that

the people in our lives,

especially wives,

they flourish,

they grow,

that they are heard,

that they are understood,

that they grow

in their spiritual life,

in their emotional life,

that they are healthy.

It's not a perfect thing,

but it is a good thing.

You know,

there's a,

and I'll just say this,

because men in our culture

have been really struck down

quite a bit.

I'll wrap things up shortly.

They have been struck down,

men have been poo-pooed,

and there's a certain segment

of a type of masculinity

that is not good.

But by and large,

men have been told

that being a man

is a problem,

and that it's pervasive

in the church.

But what's interesting

is that a lot of studies

are coming out now

that show that men

who take this seriously

are laying down their lives

for their families

and their wives.

They are living in homes

where they are valued

as fathers and husbands.

It's not just church talk.

There's empirical research

that backs it up.

There's a wonderful book,

Worth Your Time.

It's called

The Toxic War on Masculinity

by Nancy Percy,

and she dispels

a lot of myths about this.

Anyways, to wrap things up,

Peter has called men and women

to a high standard

of sacrificial living.

That's really what it boils down to,

and it's incredibly difficult

because the ideal

is incredibly high,

for it is Christ Jesus himself.

We are called to imitate

and image him.

Women in this context

imitate Christ

by using their freedom

to willingly be subject

to their husbands

as Christ uses freedom

to willingly be subject

to the will of God.

She lays down her desire

for self-glorification

so that through her

imperishable beauty

Christ is glorified.

This is something

only women can do.

Only women can image

and represent Christ

in this way,

in the marriage context.

Men are to imitate Christ

by using their freedom

to willingly serve

and lay down their lives,

their ambitions,

their goals

for the sake

of their wives and families.

He should not use

his physical prowess

to subjugate,

but to protect

and provide

to help life

and beauty

and goodness

flourish in his home.

He will be judged

by how his home flourishes,

how his wife flourishes.

And by doing this,

he imitates Christ,

something he alone can do.

A woman can't do this

like a man.

So what does this tell us?

That it takes both men

and women

to image Christ

in a marriage context.

It's not simply

Jesus is the husband

and the church is the bride,

therefore that's kind of it.

And that is good,

but that is not

the full picture.

Both men and women

image Jesus,

proclaim Jesus,

what he has done,

his goodness,

his grace,

his gospel.

Power and strength

in this context,

in the context of Christ,

is never to subjugate

and dominate,

but always to love

and to serve

and to bless.

And like we learned earlier,

this is what true power

looks like

and it's displayed beautifully

on the cross of Christ.

Friends,

whether you are married

or not,

whether things are going

well or not

in your marriage,

throw yourself

at the mercy

and the grace of Christ.

Look to him.

Imitate him.

Work hard

by his strength

and trust that

by his grace,

by his cross,

he will bless

and he will help.

Let's pray.

Father,

thank you for

tough passages

in your word.

Lord,

we thank you

that

that truth is good.

for us,

whether we want

to hear it or not.

Not to say

that every last bit

of what we needed

to cover

was covered,

but God,

there's enough in here

where we can wrestle.

But also, Lord,

we can be encouraged

that we are not

called

to live lives

for our own

selfish gain,

but selflessly

for the sake of others.

Lord, help us.

We need your help.

And Lord,

we pray that

in this church

that you would

bless marriages,

that you would

help marriages,

husbands and wives

to grow together,

to grow as one

and to do so

for your glory.

And for those

that aren't married,

Lord, we pray

that you would

help them to serve well

and Lord,

we ask that you

would bless them

if it is your will

for marriage.

We pray this

in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.