21st Sunday after Trinity 2024

Father, we ask for your blessing. Your Word, wherever we find ourselves in Acts, your Word is,

it is for our benefit. It is for our learning. It is for our growth. It is for the conviction

of sins if we need it. It's for right thinking. Lord, we ask that you would help us by your Spirit

and through your Word to understand who you are in greater depths, your heart, towards us and

towards the world. And Lord, help us, again, by your Holy Spirit to take these words that they'll

go into our souls and, Lord, that we would grow to be more and more like your blessed Son, Jesus.

We pray all of this in his name. Amen.

Amen. Having parents from two completely different cultural backgrounds is a wonderful privilege.

That's me, by the way. My parents come from two very different backgrounds. My mom grew

up just outside of Toronto but was born in Corner Brook. That's all her family is from. My father

was born in the Middle East. His parents come from Morocco. Very different. Completely different

cultures. And on one hand, it's a privilege. On the other hand, it's difficult to navigate.

A lot of differences with the two cultures. On my mom's side, conflict was usually avoided.

Little things. I'm talking big conflict. I'm not saying, like, you know, somebody ate my leftovers.

Like, I'm talking about, like, legit conflict. Was avoided until it was unavoidable. And then,

when it was unavoidable, you'd have it out. It wouldn't necessarily be civil. Maybe it would,

but by and large, you'd have it out. And usually, the issue wouldn't be the issue at hand, but it

would include other issues from weeks and months, maybe even years in the past. It's an interesting

way to do conflict resolution. On my father's side, you confront people when you disagree with

them, no matter what, even if it's offensive. Like, it's a bit something. It's a bit jarring for our

North American sensibilities. A story. So, Christine and I, we got married. We went to visit my family

in the Middle East. And my cousin, she went the whole, like, nine yards for us. She shifted her work

schedule. So, she was waking up to get to work at four. Not waking up at four, but getting to work

at four so that she could get off at noon and give us, like, spoil us for the week that we were there.

Wonderful. Loves Christine. But one of the first nights we were there, she said, listen, it's a pity

that Daniel didn't marry someone like himself. Like, she just said that right to her face. And Christine's

like, like, how to handle that. And then, you know, I know how to navigate it decently. So, we chatted

in the topic, the disagreement. We moved on from it fairly quickly. But afterwards, Christine was just

like, what was that? Interestingly, she didn't feel offended. Anyways, there's more to that story, but

completely two different ways to deal with disagreements and difficulties and conflict. Crazy.

But it raises the question, I'll put it to you guys, what is the right way to navigate

disagreements and differences? How do we do it well? How should we approach difficult situations

with people we love and especially people that we are in partnership with in the church? How do we

navigate this kind of stuff? People come from different backgrounds, different approaches to

conflict resolution or no background to conflict resolution. It can be a difficult thing to

navigate differences with people that you care for, that you're in relationship with. There's real

potential for relational breakdown. So, it's an important question to ask, especially as the church is

supposed to be, according to the scriptures, the family of God. That people that belong to the church are a part of

that household of God. Brothers and sisters in the faith.

That means we ideally go deep with people. It takes time. There's vulnerability, things to work through.

You want to gain people's trust. But by and large, this isn't just some affinity group or club. This is described as a family.

The text we have is short, the one that Jack read.

But as with everything in God's word, it is breathed out by God. It is for our learning. It is for our growth. It is for our

correction. And this morning, I think it's going to be for our training to how we navigate differences and disagreements in the church.

And the hope is, according to 2 Timothy chapter 3, that it will equip us for every good work.

2 Timothy 3 · chapter mention

So, if you weren't here last week, no problem. A bit of a background. We are in Acts chapter 15. And in Acts chapter 15, we have something called the Jerusalem Council.

Acts 15 · chapter mention Acts 15 · chapter mention

The question is, this is Cole's notes here, the question was raised, can you be a non-Jew and believe in Jesus and be a part of the church?

And the answer is yes, you can be. They worked out some of that stuff. And then they drafted a letter that would be passed around to the various churches, informing them of the decision.

And that Jew and Gentile were now one in the church. A Gentile is a biblical term for somebody who's not a Jew.

But within the church, the family includes both Jew and non-Jew.

The story, our story, picks up right after this. And it says sometime after this. We kind of more or less think it's sometime in the spring,

after when this would have taken place in the Jerusalem Council and maybe the fall or winter time would be the spring.

And Paul and Barnabas, the key evangelists in the first missionary journey, we looked at that a few weeks back.

Acts chapter 13 and 14, there's a missionary journey that starts in Antioch, which is in a part of Syria,

Acts 13 · chapter mention

goes to Cyprus, then goes up to Asia Minor. If you can picture a map, that's the way it goes.

And Paul and Barnabas were key in all of this. They were key in spreading the gospel to these different cities across the known world.

So, they had this letter from chapter 15, and they were going to distribute it in the various churches

as they would do essentially a reunion tour of sorts back to the cities that they first proclaimed the gospel.

They're going to encourage them and give them this letter. It would be a fantastic thing.

Paul and Barnabas, they're back at it again. The boys, they're on it.

This time, they're not going to sail. They're going to walk it, which is crazy.

But they're walking it from essentially Syria all the way to what is modern-day Turkey, all the way back to Pisidia.

Just like a huge journey. They're going to do it. And then, a problem arises.

Barnabas wants to bring John Mark. John Mark turns out it's his cousin.

Paul says, not a chance. This guy, back in Acts chapter 13,

Acts 13 · chapter mention

if you remember a few weeks back, this guy was a part of that first missionary journey,

but we don't know why, but for whatever reason, he skipped out.

He did not join Paul and Barnabas and whoever else they had in their crew.

He didn't. He left. He went back to Cyprus.

We're not sure why, whether it was a good reason or not.

It wasn't really told to us in the text.

However, we come to see that it becomes the very issue at hand that we'll see.

We'll split these two brothers in arms.

There's a disagreement that arises.

How will they deal with it? How will they navigate it?

Let me read this first portion.

Again, page 92 in one of these books, and we'll start in verse 36.

And after some days, Paul said to Barnabas,

some days is an interesting way of saying weeks and months,

but after some days, Paul said to Barnabas,

let us return and visit the brothers in every city where we proclaimed the word of the Lord.

Let us see how they are.

Now, Barnabas wanted to take with them John called Mark,

but Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia

and had not gone with them to do the work.

Verse 39,

And there arose a sharp disagreement so that they separated from each other.

Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus,

but Paul chose Silas and departed, having been commended by the brothers,

that is the church in Antioch, to the grace of the Lord.

And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.

What's interesting is this text neither condemns nor commends this story

as a paradigm for how to disagree with somebody else.

It just states that there's a disagreement.

So one of the beautiful things about the scriptures is that

it gives us a picture of what has happened, both good and bad.

In this case, there is no papering over the issue.

There is no ignoring the fact that there is a disagreement.

There is a disagreement.

There were brothers, and now they have separated.

A really significant relational breakdown has taken place,

and it would seem that there is no condemning it or commending it.

It's just stated as is.

It's very interesting because it says to us that even godly and wise leaders

can disagree in very, very honest but difficult ways,

and there's implications and there's consequences to that.

They disagreed.

They separated.

And in this section of scripture and in the rest of Acts,

it does not seem like they reconciled.

Barnabas pretty well falls off of,

it falls out of the narrative at this point.

In other letters and in other parts of the New Testament,

we'll see that it would seem that Paul and Barnabas,

they reconciled,

that John was now in Paul's good standing,

even though before he wasn't.

But for this narrative, that's it.

That's all we get.

It's difficult.

It's a difficult narrative.

I think both sides of this,

it's funny, the commentators,

they'll almost certainly side with Paul.

Paul was so hardcore about the mission

that he would not even let a dear relationship get in the way.

He was on mission for Christ.

And I think that's commendable and wonderful.

And right.

But what they don't usually highlight

is that Barnabas, the encourager that he is,

he saw fit to take time,

as long as it took,

to restore somebody who had fallen.

Somebody who was not in a great spot.

Somebody that needed to be rehabilitated.

Not only that, we'll see later on

that Barnabas at Cyprus encouraged the church there.

So it's not as if he only focused on John Mark.

But what we see here are two people

with, by and large, the same goals,

going about things different ways.

Neither are wrong.

I mean, the scripture doesn't say of name calling.

I'm not talking about maybe they handled it this way or that way.

But by and large, the disagreement is,

it's not wrong.

So what can we gather from this section

on how to move forward

after such a disagreement takes place?

I mean, unless there's some gross misconduct

that somebody is just completely stubborn about,

by and large, issues that arise,

people are both at fault,

but also people are both in the right.

Disagreement is messy.

It's difficult.

How do you untangle it all?

So, a couple things

on how we navigate disagreement well.

The first thing,

it is often better to communicate

and air disagreements

rather than ignore or deny them.

That can be very hard for some people

who struggle with conflict,

who would rather peace at any price.

It's, I get it.

I think there's something,

you know, I don't look down my nose at that.

Who wants to be in conflict?

Who wants to be in an argument?

Who wants to be at odds with somebody

butting their heads?

It's uncomfortable.

It risks a lot.

It risks relational breakdown.

It risks being hurt

or hurting somebody else.

Many of us,

we value harmony

and relationships

at all costs,

peace at all costs,

like I've mentioned.

So, we can bypass

constructively dealing

with differences

and disagreements

and we flee conflict.

But here's the thing,

when you flee conflict,

the conflict seldom,

if ever, goes away.

It usually just gets built up.

The example I gave

with my family,

my family's on my mom's side,

it's not like they're not,

I'm over-exaggerating

for the point of illustration.

But there was times,

like you don't deal with things

and all of a sudden

it comes out

and the issue isn't

helping out around the house

or a snarky comment made.

It is months and years

of built up frustration

that just,

it just comes out

and it's crazy and intense

and where did that come from?

But when you flee conflict

at any cost,

it doesn't go away.

It just builds up.

It's a pressure cooker.

So, first thing,

it's better to communicate

and err disagreements

rather than ignore

and deny them.

And I'll just say,

that doesn't mean

every way that we communicate,

even if we step on people's toes

and make them feel this big,

is better than not saying anything.

No, there's,

you need to grow

in our communication.

But by and large,

we can't ignore problems.

Conflict is difficult.

We should not enter into it lightly

or with any kind of animosity.

However,

we need to enter into it nevertheless.

So communication is important

even if it leads to sharp disagreement

like we see in the text here.

So in this case,

we see reconciliation

not take place.

And like I mentioned,

we see in Colossians 4

and in 2 Timothy,

at the end of 2 Timothy,

there seems to be

some kind of reconciliation

that takes place.

And here's an important principle

with that,

is that as we,

especially as Christians,

we look to address conflict,

we have to entrust it to the Lord

because some of these conflicts

and some of these issues

are just too big of a burden

for us to handle.

They're too big of a problem

for us to fix.

So we commend them to the Lord

and we try with the best wisdom

and the best patience

and the best strength

that God is giving us

to address it.

But in the end,

we entrust it to the Lord.

We ask Him to do the heavy lifting,

even though it feels like

we're doing the heavy lifting.

We ask Him to do the heavy lifting.

So prayer and wisdom,

it's key to all of this.

The second thing we can see

from this text

is the importance of

staying the course.

Sometimes conflict can be

so derailing

that it wipes us out.

The things that we were responsible for

or the things that we are doing,

we just take a break from it.

We stop doing it.

We check out mentally or otherwise.

Here, what's interesting is that

this disagreement seems devastating.

And disagreements can often feel devastating.

But there is great wisdom

in not allowing our feelings

of panic and pain

to shipwreck the good things

that we are doing.

We stay the course.

that often requires help

and often requires inviting people

to pray for you

and sharing the difficulty

that you're going through,

which is very difficult.

That's not what we're talking about here.

That is another sermon or another talk.

Vulnerability is needed.

But nevertheless,

you stay the course.

And we see this.

Paul and Barnabas,

they're not standing down.

This huge rift happens

and neither of them says,

this is too much for me to handle.

This is causing a huge problem.

I'm done.

I'm checking out.

No, no, no.

Paul continues on

with the missionary journey.

This time he gets Silas

to join him.

Later on,

it'll be Timothy.

But Barnabas also,

he is committed

to this wonderful,

beautiful,

broken man

that is his cousin,

John Mark,

who will end up writing

the gospel according to Mark.

He's committed to him

and he sees it

all the way.

He stays the course.

It is not easy to do so.

We have responsibilities

and those responsibilities

require a level of mental strength

and emotional strength

and conflict

and disagreements

and relational breakdown

can sap us of that.

And I'll say,

don't give up.

Don't throw in the towel.

Don't check out.

You need time.

You take time.

But don't give up.

Ask for help.

Seek the Lord's face.

Ask brothers or sisters

to help shoulder this burden with you.

So the question I want to ask is,

how is this way to deal with conflict,

how is it any better or different

than the best wisdom

and it is fantastic wisdom

that the world can offer?

I'll say this.

Oftentimes,

we don't seek out

the best forms of psychology

or conflict resolution.

Oftentimes,

oftentimes,

we get tools

from popular psychology

and popular psychology

can be sometimes good.

Oftentimes,

can be fairly detrimental.

The idea that you ought to cut yourself off

from every toxic person in your life

might sound like a healthy thing to do.

And I think there is a place

where you just have to

maybe not engage

with somebody

who is abusing

and emotionally aggressive.

I'm not saying that

in all circumstances

not to do this.

But by and large,

this idea that you cut yourself off

from toxic people,

what ends up happening

is that you fail to judge yourself

by the standard of other people.

As if everybody else out there

is toxic except me.

As if I don't have problems.

As if my issues

are small

and easily dealt with

and really,

they're not really issues at all.

It's just a misunderstanding.

But them,

they're the problem.

They have the issues.

They're the ones

that have

a wrong way of thinking.

But the scripture here

and in elsewhere,

throughout the scriptures,

it commends us

to have the mind of Christ

which is

to seek understanding,

to not think

so low of somebody

but to steel man them

as opposed to

straw manning them.

To seek reconciliation

until things get reconciled

or until all avenues

of peace are spent.

And even then,

it may not be

the end of the relationship.

As we gather

from Paul's letter,

we commend things

to the Lord's hands

and we trust

that in His time

and in His ways,

He might see fit

to reconcile.

That's what we see from here.

The reality is

sin makes things toxic.

It makes people toxic.

It makes us toxic.

And the only antidote

to that toxicity of sin

isn't behavior modification,

however good it is.

It is to deal with

that toxicity of sin itself

and that is by the shed blood

of Christ Jesus our Lord.

So when we put our faith in Him,

He gives us His Spirit

and this begins

this cleansing work

in our lives,

changing our view

from a worldly view

to a godly view.

It takes time.

It takes a whole lifetime.

But this is the promise for us.

What's the big marker

of the person

who has a heart

that is turned towards the Lord?

It is a love for the brethren,

the love for other Christians.

And this is why

conflict resolution

in the church

is so important

when differences come about.

Because how we love each other

and how we approach each other

is this proclamation

to the world

of Christ's goodness

and kindness

and grace

and love.

So if you remember,

Jesus

washes the disciples' feet

and then says this

groundbreaking,

gives them this

groundbreaking commandment.

And this is from John 13,

34 to 35.

He says this,

A new commandment I give to you,

that you love one another

just as I have loved you.

You also are to love one another.

By this,

all people will know

that you are my disciples.

How?

If you have love

for one another.

This love,

again,

coming on the heels

of Jesus washing the disciples' feet,

it implies a servant-oriented,

a selfless type of love,

a sacrificial love,

a love that is willing

to get dirty and messy

and to struggle

with the difficulties of life.

Sometimes this love

is difficult to stomach

because we are difficult

to stomach sometimes.

You are difficult

to stomach sometimes.

And the background

that we've had

and the experience

that we've been through

just cause us

to have that flight

or fight reaction.

and we're not willing

to engage,

but to the best

of our ability

with God's strength,

we are called

to love one another

and it is messy,

but it is wonderfully beautiful.

In the church,

by God's grace,

this is how we are

to navigate

disagreements well.

Like Paul and Barnabas,

Barnabas,

such love in relationships

it requires a commitment

to the Lord,

a love for his church

and a trust

in his providence

and grace.

So,

Paul goes one way,

Barnabas goes the other way

and the story

then continues

on both of them

committing the situation

presumably

to the Lord's hands

and we see

the Apostle Paul

make his trip

from Syria

to Asia Minor

to encourage the churches.

This gets to

our second point.

If that first point

was how to deal

with disagreements

within the church,

how do we navigate

differences?

Disagreements

and now differences.

Look with me,

verses 16,

chapter 16,

verses 1 to 3.

Paul came also

to Derbe

and to Lystra.

A disciple was there

named Timothy,

the son of a Jewish woman

who was a believer

but his father

was a Greek.

He was well spoken of

by the brothers

at Lystra

and Iconium.

Paul wanted Timothy

to accompany him

and he took him

and circumcised him

because of the Jews

who were in those places

for they all knew

that his father

was a Greek.

If you aren't familiar

with the Bible

or the Old Testament,

why is circumcision

mentioned here?

Why is an adult

getting circumcised?

Good questions.

I'll try to give

just a nutshell of it.

Circumcision

was the sign

of being a part

of God's covenant community,

God's people

in the Old Testament.

It was just

for men

and boys

were circumcised

at the eighth day.

Timothy

was Jewish

and Greek.

His mom

was a believer

but he

essentially

was a Greek

in all

aspects

of his being.

And from

the Jerusalem council

we learned

in chapter 15

that there was

a whole segment

of Jewish people

that although

they were open

to the

Jesus being

the Messiah

and Jesus being

the Savior

and

the gospel message

and maybe they even

accepted it,

they struggled

with

moving past

this idea

that

to be a part

of God's people

no longer

required circumcision.

Paul here

and elsewhere

he is rock solid

on this issue.

He is saying

you become

a part of God's family

by faith

in what Jesus

has done

not by circumcision

but he's saying

hold on a second here.

For the cause

of differences

that we'll encounter

if we

bring Timothy along

and Timothy

needs to come

because he is

this excellent

person,

he is going to be

an excellent

brother in arms

as we do

the missionary journey,

if they see

that he's a Greek

they're not going

to listen to us.

Their ears

are stopped.

We're not going

to get

through the

front door.

So

we'll circumcise

him.

Not that we

believe that

it is a means

of faith

that brings him

into the family

of God

but it is a way

that we can

then communicate

to get on

their level

to eliminate

a difference

between us

and them.

I don't know

if that made sense.

You're going to

talk to me afterwards.

The idea of

circumcision

it's like

it's a big one

but hopefully

I've done

a decent job

kind of

cold noting it.

So he is not

circumcised

out of conformity

to the law

nor as a pretext

to salvation

but rather

as an open door

to open doors

for this fruitful

missionary journey.

What we see here

I think is a

beautiful picture

of how to deal

with differences

that aren't

of first order issue.

When I say

first order issue

issues around

salvation

or issues

around who

God is

Father, Son,

and Holy Spirit

or issues

around who

Jesus is

fully God

and fully man

but second order

issues

or third order

issues.

It's to

eliminate as

many differences

as possible

in a recognition

that listen

the gospel message

itself

is a scandalous

message

and we want it

to go forward

and that

these people

will embrace it

and we will do

anything we can

to that end.

So consider

the heart

of the apostle

not from

Acts chapter 16

Acts 16 · chapter mention

but actually

a letter he wrote

to the Corinthian church

1 Corinthians chapter 9

1 Corinthians 9 · chapter mention

and this is what he says

in verses 19

to 23

he says this

this is Paul talking

for though I am free

from all

I have made myself

a servant to all

like a pause there

that is the heart

of the apostle Paul

that I might

win more of them

to the Jews

I became as a Jew

in order to win Jews

to those under the law

I became as one

under the law

though not being myself

under the law

that I might win

those under the law

to those outside the law

I became as one

outside the law

not being outside

the law of God

but under the law

of Christ

that I might win

those outside the law

to the weak

I became weak

that I might win

the weak

I have become all things

to all people

that by all means

I might save some

I do it all

for the sake of the gospel

that I may share with them

in its blessings. There's similar sentiments in 1 Corinthians 8 and Romans 14. This is the man's

heart in doing this, to eliminate differences, to meet people where they're at. Missionaries

across the world, across the generations, have sought to eliminate as many differences as

possible, the good godly missionaries that are following in the apostles' footsteps,

by adopting the dress of the people, dropping the diet of the people, adopting as many customs as

possible of the people that they're evangelizing to, to bridge as many gaps, to eliminate as many

differences. Why? So that the gospel message can be heard. It's an act of love. It's an act of service.

It's taking our freedom and not using it for our own benefit, but for the benefit of others.

So there's always time to concede ground for the sake of differences. And this is interesting.

There's this very kind of pithy but wonderful quote by a Lutheran theologian, Robertus

Meldinius. I have no idea if I pronounced that right. He wrote this in 1627, well into the 30

years war that ravaged Europe, which a big part of it was on religious grounds. And this is the quote.

He says, in essentials unity, those are those first order issues, in non-essentials liberty,

that is freedom, but in all things charity. It's a wonderful little line. In essentials unity,

in non-essentials liberty, in all things charity. This man wrote this. He penned this. Nobody,

I've never heard of this. Man, I've heard of this line for years and years and years, but I had no

idea who this Lutheran theologian was. And yet he wrote it in almost 10 years into the 30 years war

that absolutely decimated a continent. Over what? Differences. Over differences.

We would do well, friends, to eliminate as many differences as we can for the sake of others. So

I'll ask you a few questions. What motivates your actions? How do you view your freedoms? Are you

willing as someone who has been freed from the slavery of sin and death and the resurrection of

the Lord Jesus to make yourself a servant of all? For the benefit of unbelievers coming to faith and

for believers to be strengthened in the faith? What sacrifices are we willing to do? What

things are we, differences are we willing to concede on? Ultimately, the example comes to us of Jesus

himself, himself seeing the chasm, infinite difference between him and us.

All the privileges he suspended coming down into human form as a servant, fully man, yet still fully

God. Why? In order to bridge the gap, to eliminate the differences, to deal with the differences and the

disagreements so that in Christ, if we are in him, we are forever redeemed, connected,

connected to him for all eternity. He unites himself to us, to us toxic people.

And the wonderful thing about what Jesus does is that he doesn't then demand soul-crushing,

personality-killing conformity. But in him, we can be our most truest self because now we are

able to enjoy human life the way that God intended it for us to live, connected to him again.

So Christ is our most excellent example, but also the power by which we then follow his example.

So what is the result of Paul and Timothy making these concessions in the hope of seeing people come

to salvation? Look with me, verses 4 and 5. So 4 on 92 and then 5 on 94.

Verse 4,

The result of being a servant of all is the strengthening of God's church.

And the salvation of many who are outside of it. I'll end with this. Disagreements and differences

in the world's eyes can very much seem fatalistic. They're emotional and relational dead ends.

But in the gospel and in our text today, in the gospel, such things have the potential of being

transformed into opportunities of love and grace. They're not dams. They don't have to be dams that

block the flow of a river, but rather they have the opportunity to transform into streams that can

irrigate and spread the life-giving flow to many. And friends, this is the strength and the power of the

gospel of Christ. Let us pray. Father in heaven, we thank you for even narrative, short little narrative

bits in your word like what we read today. Lord, a lot to glean from, a lot to consider.

Lord, we pray that you would give us, first and foremost, a love for those that are in our life

that we struggle with, that we come into conflict with. Lord, we pray that you'd give us a great love

for them. And Lord, give us also a great courage to the best of our ability so that when such conflict

arises by your strength, we would not run away but have courage to walk toward. And Lord, sometimes

there is no peace to be found. So please help us to commend such things, such conflicts, such disagreements,

such differences into your hands. And trust that you are the great reconciler. You are the one that desires

to heal and to piece together and to restore and to redeem and to rehabilitate. And that we'd have great

faith to that end. And we pray all of this in Christ's name. Amen.