The BluePrint - Forgive as You're Forgiven

Amen. Good morning, everyone.

I think Chris does this sometimes, too, and I don't know if Greg does it, but we often, I know that some of us sometimes set up a clock, and then we never look at it.

So I'm going to put it up here and just maybe every now and then be like, clock, and that will remind me, oh, I should look at this.

So this week, we're in the Blueprint series, and it goes along with our house theme.

Isn't it cute? It is very helpful, though, because it is the inner structure and the plan that sort of guides us,

you know, and gives us our views to understand sort of what our parameters are and what we strive to, like, build support into and keep healthy amongst.

And so this week, we're in week eight. We're in the seventh Blueprint item, but we are in week eight.

And so we only have one week left. That means that we also only have one week left of kugles as well.

And so I know. But those of you who have been a part of community tables or just really paying attention well here, what have the values been that we've talked about?

Listening to the Spirit, rest, abiding, living at the table, praying, finding in prayer, practicing your faith.

Cindy showed this last week. Listening to the Spirit, reading the scriptures.

And these are things that most of those are like how we how we live at the table with each other and how we live out our life in Christ.

We really dig. We build deep into that particular value.

This week, we are talking about forgiveness, which is a super easy topic to take on.

You know, many of these values that we've talked about, if placed on a scale, might might seem like they sort of lean a bit more more toward the me and Jesus aspect of things.

But today's topic definitely reminds us how intertwined we are with other humans and that when Jesus said, Love God of your neighbor, today's value might remind us that not only are other people alongside of us in this journey through life,

it is unavoidably true that we are interconnected with them.

Only child who is happily introverted and happily single and happily lives alone. This is a cruel joke to make me preach on this this week.

I did. I chose this the week and I'm going to be the forgiveness week.

But forgive as you've been forgiven.

I think that among the values we've been discussing, this value is probably the one that is least pressed because it's so relationship heavy.

The other values absolutely affect relationships, but this one is particularly relationship folk comes to living our lives in community.

And we're not a society that's really good with like conflict and addressing interpersonal issues.

And so when I say forgive or forgiveness, I think that probably triggers some people.

And I think a lot of the general association words is a forget, forget and forget sort of scenario.

Someone exacts an offense, they apologize, we forgive or, you know, that's the that's the set.

And that just not really work for some people, depending on what has occurred between them and the other person.

I know that we know that that's not it, but I think we act like it is.

We don't scratch much off the surface, so I think we know we don't scratch much off the surface because I think we really deeply know that it is actually deep and profound work within our inning.

And that's a lot, a lot.

But the work of forgiveness is transformational.

It is transformational on a spiritual plane without plane without, but I would add that it is in fact, in fact, missionary in a world that seeks revenge and justification.

Forgiveness has the ability to upset and establish cyclical system of offense, offense, offense, offense, retaliation, which has no for no foreseeable.

Additionally, research has actually shown that forgiveness is linked to mental health and outcomes such as reduced anxiety, depression and major psychiatric disorders, as well as with fewer physical health symptoms and lower mortality rates.

Researchers have have even asked enough evidence of the forgiveness to fill a book and health is a book out on the market that you can get that details the physical and psychological benefits of forgiveness.

There are biological and social outcomes to forgiveness in addition to spiritual and personal ones, and that's compelling.

And I believe Jesus knew that when he when he when he showed showed a way of forgiveness.

It these other things were a pleasant and surprising secondary outcome like, oh, I didn't expect that to happen society has changed and we're healthier people and.

No, he knew.

God knew.

He knew that he had the forefront of his thinking, I believe, to keep us health us healthy society's healthy.

For Christ, forgiveness, forgiveness, which I have a disclaimer going forward.

I'm not able to cover every nuance or what about scenario as it really this topic, nor do I think you expect me to, but we all have feelings about forgiveness and I absolutely will overlook some of yours unintentionally.

What I do know, though.

I believe what I will overlook and miss I do know is that is that we have forgiven by and through Christ Christ Christ has made it an unhidden path and first step towards the level of freedom that he desires for us.

So if there's anything today that you walk away with may it be that you find yourself more willing to trust the process of forgiveness and be led by the spirit into the hope that the weight you carry can be lifted.

And that you will be with us.

As you've been forgiven, given in our English translation of the Bible forgive and its variance of the word is a is a word that shows up many times, but doesn't always carry the same tone or distinction there's multiple words that we translate not like there's hordes of

but there are a few words that we translate into forgiveness.

In fact, because of Jesus's death on the cross the New Testament's discussion on forgiveness looks very different than the different than the old discussion on forgiveness.

And so because and so because we'll find ourselves in the old and using the New Testament today.

Jesus began talking about this new way of relating to a previously elusive God, but people comfortable to downright angry about. There were those who were offended by him acknowledging a very personal connection with God the Father, it was unsettling to them.

What was really upsetting to some was that Yahweh through Jesus's eyes was lavishly loving unconditionally merciful and problematically merciful and forgiving.

Wait, if that thing is forgiven, if God God is the fall What does that mean for our structure of religion, as we've had it. It was disrupting. As I said, it was a revolution.

From what we know in Scripture, Jesus notably forgave multiple times, particularly when it would have made the most sense not to to and it sent waves through the through the like their jobs as the morality morality police.

Jesus told the paralyzed man's on you are forgiven. Jesus told the woman who washed his feet with her hair, your sins are forgiven. Jesus told the story of the son who came home fully accepted and welcomed.

Jesus said to the woman caught in adultery, I do not condemn you, and she was really, she was really, Jesus said to his father for other forgive me know not what they do. She, she was resurrected and stated reinstated Peter who deeply betrayed him.

That's the story of our entire Christian tradition, not our faith because that was Jesus, but the of the church is rooted in the act of Jesus forgiving Peter.

He did not have a have a lot with the person, he did not recount not recount is he did not ask them how they were going to do better next time. He did not demean them he did not speak down to them.

That's remarkable. Jesus loves love into new life.

Forgive the revolution.

Forgive, as you've been forgiven.

I have a tradition of reading scripture together out loud and I and I stand if you are and would like to, to read that the parable of the and most merciful servant is in.

You know what I told you to stand and do this and then I and then I didn't write down my reference.

And I've been reading so many references.

I've been reading so many references that I'm now I actually have to legit look it up.

So bear with me.

Thank you. I was gonna say it's in Matthew.

Thank you. 18 I had, I had the book, I did not have the chapter and then I had the verses.

Alright so Matt so Matthew teen 21 and we're going to read through 3334.

It says then Peter came to Jesus and asked Lord how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me up to seven times.

Jesus Jesus and tell you not seven times but 77 times.

Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.

As he began the settlement, a man who owed him 10,000 bags of gold of gold brought to him.

Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

At this, the servant fell on his knees before him and be patient.

He begged and I will pay back everything.

The servant's master took pity pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him 100 silver coins.

He grabbed him and began him and began to pay back what you owe me.

He demanded his fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him.

Be patient with me and I will pay it back.

But he refused.

Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison to pay off the debt.

When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

Then the master called the servant in.

You wicked servant, he said.

I canceled all debt of yours because you begged me to.

Shouldn't you have mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?

In anger, his master handed him over to the jailer tortured until he should pay back all.

Jesus today with this word in front of us and your presence here, would you teach us and move us forward in the way of forgiveness?

You open our hearts and make us more willing to see through your eyes those around us

and have the presence to understand that in all things you've forgiven us and we are to extend it to others.

We pray this all in your name. Amen.

May be seated.

So here's what I want to say about this passage.

I mean, there are so many things I want to say today and in particular about this passage.

But here's what I want to say about this.

Guy in the passage, open letter to the guy in the passage.

Wait, what?

You got to be kidding me, right?

You mean to tell me you just walked away from a full debt relief package,

package, weight lifted off of you, knows what, knows what that feels like and means for your life.

And then you won't extend that to someone else for a debt so much far, far less you owed.

We why that doesn't work, work, right?

Like it doesn't make sense how it doesn't check out.

Forgive as you have been forgiven.

My point is we have got to figure this out, Christ followers.

We have got to figure this out because we are terrible offenders of this.

We are terrible offenders of accepting extraordinary and unbelievable forgiveness and not extending it to others.

And what I'm reading here, it's not even an option.

Like you do have the freedom to choose not to forgive somebody.

But you understand why it's not even a choice to be made, right?

Based on this, like it would seem very, very clear of all we've been given to not offer that from, you know, from that point on.

When we follow the foots of Jesus and dare I even say the logical path of this parable, tell me why the revolution has stopped.

Like where did we, where did we veer off that we thought, thought was not, was not and shouldn't be?

That's because forgiveness is simple, but it's not easy, right?

This passage is very clear.

It's very simple, but it's not easy.

We are not a people with a practice of forgiveness.

That's true.

There is no lack of opportunity to practice forgiveness.

We are flush with opportunity, opportunity to be forgiven and to offer forgiveness.

But we are, we are way more adept at avoiding difficult, awkward things.

Our shows up front and center and we see how practiced we are, unpracticed, excuse me, we are at conflict revolution.

And so we don't know what to do about forgiveness.

We don't know how to navigate that.

We don't understand what it is and we don't understand how to practice it.

And that's, that's really it.

We don't practice it.

You, you practice something, you get better at it.

But we, but we don't practice it.

We don't find ways to extend it.

We don't find ways to explore it because it is messy.

Again, that interpersonal thing is really hard.

And so we, we put it aside to deal with it at another point.

But I've talked about this before.

Anything that we, anything, anything that is one of us as a thing to, to engage with of any kind.

If you keep putting it off, it's not like it gets easier.

You know, like I have, I have, Kenan can attest to this.

She's, she's one of my penins, Ruby as well.

That the music they started with when they first started playing piano felt hard.

It was a great face. Thank you.

It felt hard.

But if Kenan, you were going to, you were to go back to it now, you'd be like, but it's so easy.

But that's because she practiced and better.

And so the stuff that she has now, now she was looking for it when it came to her.

And she's an excellent piano player, by the way.

I should, I want to give props to her.

She just went like, oh.

But, but because she has played a long time and has continued to play what's in front of her, taking it as it comes,

she can now play the challenging things because she worked her way up to it.

Opportunities to forgive don't get easy easier.

But the more, but the more we sit, we will understand how to navigate those things better.

And those of you who are in marriages, have families, close personal relationships,

you understand that the opportunities to forgive are plenty.

And being practiced at them, at them, right?

We need to practice when the opportunity is put in front of us.

Earlier I touched on how we have, what forgiveness is, and that in the end, I think,

we think it's a tactic to make us kiss and make up and there, voila, everything's over and everything's fine.

Forgiveness was not given to us so that we might simply forget what happened and moved on.

That's not, that's not the way of it.

Forgiveness is not meant to erase the reality of what occurred.

It is not meant to be a white flag of surrender, actually, either.

It is no secret that we are broken and hurting people.

There are prevailing ideas that we are perfect just as we are, just as we are.

I disagree. I think we are loved perfectly as we are, but I know the darkness in my own self.

And it's not just something that shows up sometimes.

I am a human being on this earth still dealing with the effects of, and because I am this,

I make choices, sometimes even deliberately, sometimes entirely unintentionally though,

that affect others in unfavorable ways.

And this is not just true for me.

I am not inherently good with some rough days thrown in.

I am someone that needs Jesus's forgiveness all the time.

But because I rest in the truth, that of it, I am assured that Christ has forgiven me and I win that.

I don't walk around feeling terrible about myself.

I can confront the fact I need Jesus and I need God's forgiveness all the time.

That's actually really hopeful.

The gift of Christ's forgiveness in my life keeps me steady.

It reminds me of how deeply loved I am by God,

and it keeps me, keeps me mindful and compassionate about the rest of us when I'm hurt by someone else.

We're all in the same boat.

Forgiveness from God through Christ frees me from constant negative talk where I spin out on my own inadequacies,

and it frees me into a place of hopefulness where I'm not building up a stockpile of remembrances of why I'm terrible,

and I'm not, and I'm not there either.

Our servant friend from the parable, that immense feeling lifted off his shoulders once the senses were stricken, stricken.

Can you imagine how that felt?

He had a significant debt, and it was going to affect his entire family, the entire family.

He was responsible for something that affected the entire family, their family.

And when that was forgiven, he didn't have to hide from the other guy or leave his phone calls unanswered or avoid the place, the place is the at.

He was now, he was now that.

I feel that.

And all of this is really beautiful.

But this is all about what it means to receive forgiveness.

When things turn around the parable and we find ourselves with the power to forgive, we can get real weird about that.

When we have the power of the power of the poverty of offering forgiveness to someone else, to someone else, we forget.

We forget what it felt like to have that relieved from us.

We forget what was forgiven in us.

We get games with it.

We might even string the sit-in along a little bit, see what we can pull from it.

We do things like we keep reminding the person of what they did.

We hold those offenses, those offenses again, a little bit of time leveraging them to see if we can get something from it.

And we all know we all done it.

And what that is, is a people out of practice of being forgiven and offering forgiveness.

We see the perversion of the power.

When we see that, it's very telling.

Here are some realities about forgiveness that may be a relief to hear or potentially tough.

I don't know.

They'll be both.

Forgiveness has layers to it.

As I said, simple, but we make it complicated.

From Christ, a full forgiveness, which is hopeful in itself.

I do not have to create it.

I just simply need to participate in it.

I don't have to create it.

I just need to participate in it.

From Christ's story, the prodigal son is reminded that he is still fully the son.

He do sonship with the father.

He did not father's love.

He was forgiven fully and fully in his were not held against him by his father, the brother on the other hand.

But his father did not hold it against.

He was just so happy to have the son back in his arms.

That's the father's love for us.

But humans, we will have a harder time with this.

While God's love allows God to turn on us as we are, we come into every circumstance looking at things through multiple lenses, assumptions, our own experiences.

We have baggage and we carry it everywhere.

This informs how we handgiveness.

So yeah, there are layers.

I'm going to walk through three particular layers that scripture touches on and also taking a step further to some psychological connections to about what forgiveness looks like and how to move forward at various levels of offense.

So exoneration is forgiveness that is fully, fully.

It's when the eraser has wiped it clean.

Sometimes there's offense in which no parties are to blame.

I think we've all been in this situation.

Something has happened.

There is nowhere to blame, to point the finger, and we just on both sides are like, that happened and that was unpleasant.

But it's done.

Or both.

Or both.

Clearly the situation and responsibility is just taken.

And an understanding is arrived at clearly and easily.

And that's a that's a wonderful situation when that happened.

Or we see things when a child may do something that just causes an issue, but you just know they don't know.

They don't know.

And of course, they're forgiven.

We don't hold it against them.

We don't bring it.

And that's fruitless.

How could they have known they haven't learned yet?

And so in this case, restoration and reconciliation come fairly quickly after this.

That's an e-next step past the forgiveness.

And so exoneration, when it can just be wiped clean.

And that's wonderful.

But that's not always the case.

And it's not always serving the situation best for the people involved in it.

And so next we see forbearance.

It's a fancy word.

But it's there's sort of like this watch and wait component to it.

This shows up commonly in the language of forgiveness in the old in the old test.

But there is a watchful watchfulness associated with it.

Forgiveness may occur and it is sincere and forgiveness needs to be sincere and done in love for it to be true forgiveness.

But forgiveness may occur.

It might have been connected to a repeating issue.

And perhaps the relationship feels like it should have some new boundaries set and some discussion about proceed.

And so there is forgiveness but there's also caution.

Because there is love and sincerity.

There's a different tone to it.

Again, it's not one that keeps bringing up the offense.

But it recognizes that there may be a repeated one.

And we're just going to proceed with maybe some new boundaries and discussion on how can we prevent this in the future?

How can we help each other walk walk for.

I mean, there's release.

This is forgiveness that may not come with an apology.

And you may find you are dealing with this on one side only.

I would dare say all of us have probably been in a situation as well.

When an offense has been made, an apology has not been issued or there's no chance of an apology being issued.

And we have to find a way forward.

But the goodness is not conditional upon an apology.

It's great when there can be one.

But it is not conditional on it.

And that may be a new idea to someone when you don't have to wait for an apology and be bound by somebody else's first step to move forward.

You may be dealing with someone who does not know that they did something wrong.

They do not know that they hurt you in some way or they may no longer be around and able to apologize.

They may have a different value structure than you do and register to them that an apology is needed or valuable.

You can still forgive anyway.

You can still forgive and you yourself be released from the situation so that the effects of the situation do not keep harming you.

You're able to say, I don't know if they understand, but I know we are all broken and capable of doing harm and offense.

They are dealing outside of me.

We trust that God will deal with them in God's own time.

And I can focus on the healing that needs to happen to me.

I do not need someone else to apologize in order to begin the healing in me.

And that's good news, but it's also because sometimes we don't want to let off the hook of that apology.

But here's a reminder, though we are independent, we are not codependent.

And that's the distinction.

In waiting for somebody to make their move on an apology for you to be able to find healing and health, that's codependency.

Being interdependent means I understand, stand, affected by this issue.

You need to deal with that separately.

Then I need to deal with that and we find healing.

And that's the release, because it's too damaging to do it together.

And so there are situations in which there is abuse and that there are things happening that are too deep and it is better to move forward separately.

But we are still able to be released through Christ's forgiveness and find healing ourselves.

And the reality is some people move forward on an issue at different paces.

So maybe you both agree that some agree that some don't, but your pace at moving along the line of that may be different than yours.

Because we are different people.

And that's awesome until we need people to think exactly like us.

Then it's a problem.

But on that point, forgiveness does not mean, the definition of forgiveness is from restoration and reconciliation.

It does not even mean restitution.

This can feel like a mix of good and bad things.

Forgiveness does not have to mean you are reconciled with someone or something has to be restored.

Forgiveness in your heart and mind is a gate opening step, if that's what the parties hope for and are willing to work for together.

Forgiveness is the gate opener towards those things, but it doesn't equal those things.

So, forgivings does not mean that you are restored.

And that can actually leave for some of you, because for some situations, things should not be restored to what they were.

Sometimes that's the case for a little while and sometimes that is forever.

Reconciliation and restoration are different things from forgiveness.

But forgiveness is the gate that opens it and absolutely the first step that needs to be taken.

We can do that on our own if we know.

And we can do it with others as well.

This of forgiveness is hard, because we are human beings and we have so many things going on with each of us.

However, practicing unforgiveness is worse.

And the truth is, if you are not practicing forgiveness in your life, you are practicing unforgiveness.

There is no passive middle ground.

You've heard the statement, not doing this, and it means you chose this.

That's absolutely true.

Because you are confronted with situations all the time with people.

And you've made choices on how you're dealing with them.

Neither you move forwards in forgiveness or you don't.

And that is unforgiveness.

And so, that's something that I think we need to hold in our hearts.

That if we're not practicing for life, we are practicing unforgiveness.

I think Kelsey is probably in the other room.

She and I were discussing a book this week that I really love.

And she just finished it.

And so, because she was reading it, I jumped the last hundred pages of it to read the last stretch with her.

And I forgot how much I love the book.

I knew I loved the book, but I really loved the book.

And so, there was a great little pair.

And I loved it.

There's a girl who makes a deal with the darkness, makes a deal with the devil.

And over time, she sees things one way and they end up crossing paths a lot.

And he sees things another way.

And there's a soul that is being contended for.

And so, this character, Addy, says to darkness,

you only see flaws and faults, weaknesses to be exploited.

But humans are messy, Luke.

That is the wonder of them.

They love and they make mistakes and they feel so much.

And so, she says, Henry is, this is the soul being contended for, and Luke says, lost.

And she says, he is searching.

And he will find his way if you let him.

And I loved that because she points out the way of unforgiveness,

the part that only sees flaws and faults, weaknesses to be exploited.

It looks for the problems because it just cycles in this place of,

like unforgiveness is unresolution, and it's a place of pain and hurt.

And it's a lot of times unforgiveness self-inflicts that over and over again past the initial wound.

And so, then it creates a whole worldview of flaws and faults and weaknesses.

Bless you.

But on the path of darkness, there is hope.

And I love this hopeful statement, he will find his way if you let him.

Unforgiveness is destructive, and forgiveness is the revolution.

We've been doing, we've been taking some time to practice some of these things

at the end of these messages over the course of the Blueprint series.

And so, I'm going to just give you some thoughtful thoughts and invite you just to take some time to think through them.

But you can offer this prayer that you, I'll leave space at the end of each line,

and you can repeat it in your heart as I say it.

Just three lines, the first one is,

Forgiveness comes through Jesus.

Forgiveness is always offered in Christ.

I choose to participate in the gift of forgiveness.

I'll say it one more time, forgiveness comes through Jesus.

Forgiveness is always offered through Christ.

I choose to participate in the gift of forgiveness.

So this week, I'm going to give you three things to move through.

Well, I'm going to take you through a thought exercise, and then I'm going to give you three.

I want us to say together, I will forgive as I've been forgiven.

So I'll say it one more time, I will forgive as I've been forgiven.

Let's say that together, I will forgive as I've been forgiven.

So I want you to take a moment and consider what it means to be forgiven.

Say with me, I am forgiven.

Think about what the servant in the parable felt when his debt was relieved.

And consider there may be something heavy on your heart that you feel needs to be forgiven.

It may be between you and God, it may be between you and another person.

But consider the weight that would be gone if that moves towards a place of forgiveness.

Just take a moment.

I want you to consider the feeling or idea of what it means to offer forgiveness.

Knowing what it could feel like to have to have such a weight off of you.

What would that be like to offer that to somebody?

So I want you to say with me, you are forgiven.

You are forgiven.

Take a moment to explore what it means to forgive somebody else and to offer that forgiveness to somebody else.

So this week as you explore the idea of forgive as you've been forgiven,

I'll give you three places to consider forgiveness.

I didn't touch on this one, but I don't think I need to a whole lot.

Because I talked about forgiveness between you and God.

But I also talked about forgiveness between you and someone else.

But when Christ said love the Lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself, the as yourself part,

do you need yourself for anything?

You're holding onto that you have harbored the offense towards yourself and you've not let it go.

You've not really self into the forgiveness.

So that's the first thing I want you to think about this week.

Is there an offense towards yourself that you need to just say I forgive myself through Christ.

I am forgiven.

And secondly, do you need to ask for forgiveness for something with Christ?

Do you need to settle something up that you've just gone hard and heavy on a thing

and you're like I don't want to talk to Jesus about this because that's a thing.

I'm a little uncomfortable with that.

We certainly do that.

We're like Jesus you're mine, but let's not talk about this because this is ugly.

I just don't want to deal with it.

Why don't you deal with that this week?

And then lastly, do you need to forgive somebody else or do you need to ask for forgiveness from somebody else?

What is it interpersonally in your life this week?

What does that look like between yourself?

What does that look like between you and God this week?

And what does that look like between you and others this week?

And that's what I'd like to encourage you to spend time processing through as you go forward.

To close, I want to read Ephesians 1, 7, and 8.

It says, In him we have redemption through his blood,

and the goodness of sins in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he has established on us.

Let's pray.

Jesus this week, help us walk in this freedom and fullness of forgiveness.

Help us be safe because it is unpracticed territory and it is uncomfortable.

So we do need your help.

But we, as we listen to your spirit, you are a faithful leader to us God

and will lead us so carefully in the direction that we need to go.

I'm so grateful for that.

Help us trust you, follow well,

and help us live in this freedom and hopefulness of what it means to actively practice forgiveness.

Open our eyes to where we need to see it and understand it better,

where we need to be more compassionate,

where we need to remember how much forgiveness has been offered to us

and where we can offer it to others.

How we can be as a community, as people.

The revolution that is against the systems and structures that are cyclical in our world.

Help us be the other.

I'm going to pray this in your name.

Amen.