Desire Paths - Shame

So if I haven't said it yet, my name is Greg

Hampton. I'm one of the pastors here at the house.

If we have never met, I would love to meet you.

I'd love to buy you a coffee or soda or whatever,

get to know you, hear your story. Maybe if you'd

like to talk about Jesus, I'd really like to

talk about Jesus some. But we are in our last

week of a series that we've been calling Desire

Paths. And I'm actually, let's see, I'm going

to ask, JC, will you help me out here? Will you

pass one of these out to... To everyone. One

of those to everyone. Every single person. All

right. I'm about to hand you something that you're

going to be tempted to play with for the entire

sermon. Velcro is loud when you pull it apart,

isn't it? All right. So if a kid has it, it's

fine. Kids are kids. Let them play. But adults,

I'm going to ask you not to add to that, you

know, by just like 17 people sitting around the

room going, shh, shh, shh. Okay? But I promise

that this is going to come back, and then I'm

going to have a reason for giving you Velcro.

All right, so desire paths are the places that

we walk. They're the shortcuts that we... Create

when the sidewalk or the street that's already

there just isn't fast enough. I loved that our

students and our kids are part of the services

with us, the kids that are older than fifth grade,

because my son happens to be in that age, and

he's in seventh grade. And a couple weeks ago,

he sent me a picture of a desire path. Right?

He wouldn't have known what to call it before,

but he took a picture where he was, and he said,

hey, Dad, I found a desire path. This Lent, we've

been asking if there are things that we should

be paying attention to that may be desire paths

that we've created. And maybe over the course

of the last five weeks, you've started to see

more of those desire paths. Maybe you've started

to see like, oh, this thing that I'm doing or

this feeling that I have or that, that those

things, oh, I'm creating that path for myself.

Maybe that isn't the thing that God is actually

hoping that we will have. And I love that the

smoke just started because that'll come up too.

So this Lent, we've been considering those desire

paths that maybe we need to give up for a time

at least and see if it's something that God wants

us to be walking in, if it's actually something

that God put in front of us, or if there's something

else that he has for us. So far we've discussed

fasting from social media, from complaining,

from alcohol, From unnecessary spending and entertainment

and from food. Look at me, I'm already tempted

to pull it apart. But today I want to talk about

something that, I don't know, it might be a little

more abstract for some of us or might be close

to home because it's something that I know without

a doubt that Jesus wants us to give this up.

Today I want to talk about the desire path of

shame. Let's open our Bibles. We're going to

Hebrews 12. Hebrews 12, it's in the Newer Testament.

It's towards the back. It goes Hebrews, James,

1 Peter, 2 Peter, 1, 2, 3 John. There are Bibles

on the tables. You can download a Bible from

digital app stores. These blue Bibles, they're

actually out in the lobby too. You can take one

home if you don't have one. It's towards the

back again. It goes Hebrews, James, 1 and 2 Peter,

1, 2, 3 John, Jude, Revelation. If you see those,

you know you're in the right neighborhood. We're

going to be Hebrews 12, starting in verse 1.

We have a tradition of giving the scriptures

our full attention when they're read in the context

of a sermon. You can do that while you sit or

if you'd like to stand with me as I read. Hebrews

Hebrews 12:1

12, verses 1 and 2 says this. Therefore, since

we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,

let us throw off everything that hinders and

the sin that so easily entangles. And let us

run with perseverance the race marked out for

us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and

perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him,

he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and

sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Let us pray. God of every tribe, of every tongue,

every color, every nation. We thank you for the

scriptures that they have persisted throughout

the millennia. That we have them to read, to

consider, to learn from. And I just pray that

whatever you have for us to learn today, that

it would stick. That it would become a part of

the framework of our faith. As we become more

like your son, Jesus. Amen. Thanks, y 'all. I

can have a seat. Okay, don't raise your hand.

You heard me say don't, right? Don't. raise your

hand, but my guess is that if I asked you to,

if I asked you how many of us feel shame on a

regular basis, that a lot of our hands would

go up. If I asked if someone has shamed you in

the last week or month, a lot of our hands might

go up. If I asked have we used shame with someone

else, if we were really, really honest, A lot

of our hands might go up. Shame is a powerful

tool. It pushes without the power to actually

move us. Because shame doesn't motivate motion.

Shame sticks you to a moment. Now, I'm not talking

about guilt. We shouldn't be wielding guilt against

each other. Either the guilt has its place or

maybe I should say conviction. Conviction has

its place. Conviction is like a smoke detector.

Smoke goes up, the detector goes off. You're

supposed to go, oh, there might be something

wrong. That guilt or conviction is that moment

of, oh, something changed. Maybe I should pay

attention to that. But shame is different. See,

when there's healthy conviction and we... have

apologized. The fire has long been extinguished

and everything has been repaired and replaced.

Shame is like the smoke -covered clothes that

we won't take off. And so the smell is just always

with us. Either because we can't let it go or

because someone told us Those clothes are the

only thing that's left. Guilt or conviction is

meant to be about saving you from the moment,

getting you out of the fire. Shame is about convincing

you that you're still in it, even when you're

not. Shame tells you, everyone knows what you

did. They're thinking about it right now. Shame

whispers. They smell the smoke. Even if they

don't know, they smell it. Hebrews 12 says, therefore,

because we have such a great cloud of witnesses,

let us throw off all that hinders us and the

sin that so easily entangles us. There's this

question of what kind of cloud are we in? Are

we in a cloud of the smoke of our past mistakes

or are we in a cloud of great witnesses? Listen,

shame is not your skin. Shame is only the old

smoky clothes that are reminding you of a moment

that you no longer belong in. And you can take

it off. Have you guys seen that video of, there's

this guy that he left his retainers in for five

or six years? He had braces. And he's an adult.

He's a full -grown adult. And he got his braces

off. And the video is of him with his partner,

and his partner's trying to convince him, no,

you're allowed to take them out. And he's like,

no, I thought. I thought the orthodontist glued

them in. They're like there. So you can imagine

how yellowed plastic retainers might get after

five or six years, no matter how many times you

have brushed it. But he had never taken out his

retainers. He literally says, I'm afraid that

my teeth will come out if I pull too hard. Sometimes

we're afraid if we let go of the shame that we'll

lose something else that we think we can't replace.

Eventually in the video, he tries. He kind of

gets his finger in there. I don't know. We'll

do a show of hands. Show of hands who had braces

in their life. Yeah. So, show of hands. I'm guessing

most of us have been to the dentist. If you've

ever been to the dentist, that feeling right

when they're done, your teeth feel like they're

brand new. When you get your braces off, it's

like that feeling times 10. It's like, oh my

gosh, you have not felt, you've not felt your

teeth with your lips or your tongue for however

many years you had braces. And so it's just like,

he finally, he pries and he takes it off and

his teeth are perfect. clean, perfectly straight,

immaculate. Therefore, since we are surrounded

by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw

off, cast off, take out all that hinders us.

All the sin, all the things that so easily entangle

us. When I was a kid, I was taught... that any

time you see the word therefore, you ask what

it's there for, right? If you've never heard

that. Especially in the Bible, when you see the

word therefore, you're supposed to go, oh, I

wonder what that's there for. And so you back

up. And if you back up into Hebrews 11, what

you find is that the author has just finished

talking about all the heroes of their faith,

all the heroes of the Israelite faith. If you

read the Old Testament, the Hebrew Testament,

you'll see all of these people that they're talking

about. The people that were this great cloud

of witnesses. What's fascinating is that how

many of those heroes could have carried shame

instead of walking in faith. Abraham and Sarah

are mentioned. Abraham and Sarah are promised.

that they would have a child in their old age.

But what was their response? They laughed. It

says that Abraham and Sarah laughed at the idea

because they did not believe that God could do

what God had said God could do. Jacob was the

younger of two twin brothers. He literally conned

his brother and then tricked his father. into

giving him the blessing that was meant to go

to the oldest son. He ran for his life. Later,

when he was older, he came back fearing that

his brother would send out and go to war with

him. Joseph is known as the hero of Egypt. The

story goes that he was sold into slavery, but

then he rises to the level of second in all of

Egypt, and it was his plan that saved countless

lives. The trouble is that it was his same plan

that led the Israelites to be so poor over the

course of years that they ended up being enslaved

by Egypt. Moses, the man that led God's people

out of Egypt, one of the first things you learn

about him as an adult is that he was a murderer.

When God asks him to go back and lead the people

out, he questions God whether he's got the right

guy. Rahab was a woman that was living in the

wall of Jericho when the two spies came. She

was a sort of innkeeper. Tradition has said that

she was a sex worker. Samson was a mighty warrior,

but he was a philanderer. The greatest and most

beloved king of the Bible, King David. was both

an adulterer and a murderer. This is our great

cloud of witnesses. How much smoke of shame could

this cloud carry if it wanted to? But in Hebrews,

these are the people that we are told that we

can look to. That we can take as our example.

Because their failures did not define them. Their

faith did. Now, it doesn't mean that we dismiss

bad behavior. Forgiveness doesn't always preclude

consequences. But it is to say that no matter

what they did, no matter what we have done, that

a repentant heart is made clean. Faith. changes

the story so what if we really did what if we

really did what if we believed what the bible

says what if we really believed that shame does

not define us what if we really believed that

we can throw it off how much time how much time

How much space in our brains would be freed if

we really believed that we could throw it off?

Maybe even just for the next week until Easter,

we committed to try to fast from shame. Easy

for you to say, Greg, you're a pastor. I bet

you never feel ashamed. You're so close to Jesus.

Listen, it is true. I am. Go on. I live with

a conviction that all of my sins are forgiven

by Jesus. I really do believe that the work of

Jesus on the cross is complete. I believe that.

And because I believe that, it is also true that

I do not spend a lot of time feeling bad about

mistakes that I make. Because I apologize when

I need to apologize. I know that the Lord has

already forgiven me. But... If I feel out of

place for even a second, if I feel like I put

my foot in my mouth, if I feel like the butt

of someone else's joke, I might feel deep shame

for hours. Sometimes days. Because... Shame isn't

about the moment. It's about sticking us to a

moment. Shame says, that moment, that is who

you are. And for me, it's not even the moment

that's happening. It's the moment where I switched

to a new school in second grade. And the first

kid I met said, what are you doing here, freckle

face? Shame tells me that's who I am. I didn't

feel like I fit in right there. I'm just that

little kid. I didn't say the right thing. Not

a sin, by the way. I'm just that freckle face.

They made that joke at my expense. Can't wait

for the next five years of being bullied. My

wife, Cindy, right here, lovely, wonderful. You

should all know her. She's great. She has this

beautiful thing that she does for the kids when

they're being too hard on themselves or when

they're stuck in a moment. She says, what is

true? What is true? She has this way of bringing

them. Back to the truth of who they are. The

truth is that they are loved. And they have nothing

to be ashamed of. I wonder if maybe today that

Jesus can bring you back to the truth of who

you are. Because of the truth of who he is. Because

of the truth of what he has done. Hebrews tells

us that he is the pioneer and perfecter of our

faith. For the joy set out before him, he scorned

the shame of the cross. In the first century,

there was no more shameful way to die than on

a Roman cross. We believe, as Christians, That

when he took that cross, that he also took every

bit of our sin, every bit of our shame, and then

he left it in the grave. Maybe today, maybe today

you will believe that. That you really have no

sin to carry. Because he already took it. You

have no shame to wear because he bore it. Anytime

you feel that you do, it can be taken off. It

can be taken off. I don't know about you. A lot

of this has to do with being a second year. second

grader in that happening. I rarely feel like

I legitimately fit in. There's never been a moment,

I might be hyperbolic, but I don't, I think I'm

telling the truth. There's been almost no moment

in my entire life where I felt like I was cool.

I'm the cool one. That's funny. A couple months

ago at Comedy Sports on Friday night, I looked

around at everyone that was in the green room,

and I realized I was the tallest player that

night. And I was like, no way. Because I'm 5

'10". Like, I'm the tallest person in the room

right now. There's something about being seen.

Someone seeing you for who you really are. The

moment where Cindy tells the kid, what is true?

And I had it in my notes and I took it out. When

I had it in my notes, I said, maybe I'm saying

too much. And then I took it out, but I'm going

to say it anyway. There was a couple years ago,

maybe it was only a year ago, it might have been

two years ago, we were at a community table at

my house. And there was someone there that we

were sitting at the dinner table. And in the

community tables, we split up and we kind of

subgroup. We have different conversations. And

she was talking about the pastor at her old church.

She was telling these, like, really lovely stories.

And she had this phrase where she said, and that

was kind of like his thing. And so as the night

went on, maybe 20 minutes later, 25 minutes later,

I said, hey, if you, earlier when you were talking

about that, you said that that was his thing.

And I was just curious, like, if you had to describe

me to someone, what would you say is my thing?

And now I'm used to people saying, oh, worship

or singing. You know how many people have said

like, oh, you're the social justice pastor or

any number of things, which all have a measure

of truth to them. But she said, oh, your thing

is that you just remove all the barriers between

people and Jesus. If I had to make a list of

the times that I have felt truly seen in my life.

That would be pretty high to the top. And there's

something about being seen when someone tells

you who you are. When someone tells you who you

are and they are right, you have no sense of

shame. You have no sense of, I wish that is really

who I was. Because when people tell me I'm the

social justice pastor, all I can think of is

how I'm really not. I'm not nearly as much as

you think, oh, man, but I wish I was. When she

said that, I was like, man, no one, no one has

said, man, I feel so seen right now. And when

you finally feel seen, maybe today by Jesus,

you will know that it is Jesus telling you that

this is who you are because you will feel no

sense of shame about it. Because when Jesus looks

at you, he's not looking for sin. He's not trying

to go, hey, you're my sinful creation. And I

think that's what we're so used to people telling

us. In Christianity, well, Jesus looks at you,

oh, you've got to, no. I've said this before.

When Jesus looks at you, he's not looking for

sin. Because when the Father looks at you, he

sees his Son. When the father looks at you, he

sees his son because of what Jesus has done.

Maybe today's the day that you believe it. Maybe

today's the day that I can let go of some of

the shame that I feel in the moments that I feel

like I don't fit in. And so now, I told you.

I'd come back to the Velcro. Shame is sticky,

huh? You can do it now if you want. Shame is

sticky. It doesn't want to let go. This is what

I want to do. I want you to decide which half

of this is you. All right? Listen, let's be honest.

Some of us are prickly. Some of us are soft.

Some of us are mixed, right? But I want you to

decide, okay, which half of this is me and which

half of this is some shame that I need to pull

off? Which half of this is, all right, Jesus

is going. This is just who you are. I love you.

This is exactly who you are. I love you. I love

you. I love you. I don't want to get all goodwill

hunting right now. It wasn't your fault. It's

not your fault. If you don't get that reference,

go watch the movie sometime. But you are legitimately

loved by God. I cannot say it enough times. You

are loved by God. You are loved. God loves you.

God loves you. And this is not your life. What's

going to happen is when we bring these trays

around, when you receive the elements, when you

take a cup, I want you to take the half that

isn't you, and I want you to put it in the space

where you took your cup from. Give it to God.

Receive the elements. Receive Jesus and give.

God all of your shame. Give God all of the sin

that you've convinced, that someone has convinced

you is just you. And just keep you in Jesus.

And let today be the day that we begin to fast

from shame. To begin to fast from believing that

our sin defines us. Fast from the moment that

we are stuck in because the moment of Jesus'

death and resurrection is what we actually live

in. Because he rose, we live. You do not need

to carry your shame anymore. Amen? Let's pray.

Father, we thank you and we glorify you and we

lift up your name. Because when you look at us,

you do not see our sin. Because it is gone. It

fell on the back of Jesus. It died. Went to the

grave. And as Jesus rose to new life, so we are

raised to new life. Clean. Forgiven. New. Clean,

forgiven, and new. By the power of your Holy

Spirit, I ask that you convince our hearts of

that now. That we hear the sounding alarm and

that we move towards the safety of your love.

Amen.