Ctrl/Alt/Delight - Shame

I was so excited to share this message today

on this series of control, alt, delete. Actually,

control, alt, and delight, but sometimes we have

wanted to control, alt, delete, right? And bear

with me because my sermon notes are always long.

but I try to condense them. And I am so honored

to have my dad here, who's been my inspiration

and my example, a pastor of over 25 years at

Spanish Mennonite Church. And my family and my

friends are here today, too. And so I'm so thankful

for everything that's been instilled into my

life to be able to pour out into community the

way that my dad did all of my life. So thank

you guys for being here. So in this sermon, we're

going to talk about freedom from shame and guilt.

And I remember growing up and being in youth

circles, and they would start conversations,

you know, as icebreakers, and they would want

to hear what your testimony was. And as a young

person, I felt like I really didn't have much

of a testimony because I grew up in church. I

grew up helping my dad out. I kind of, you know,

pretty much stayed on the narrow path of, you

know, if you want to call me a square, you can

call me a square. But I kind of felt like I really

don't have anything to testify about. And then

I realized that the testimony is a service unto

God, right? But believe me, I was about... 16

15 16 years old at that time I can tell you that

at age 47 I have a lot to testify about I have

a huge things that I have gone through under

over in many different ways you know we've gone

through things and are thankful for the grace

of God in our life right for his forgiveness

and his mercy that is new every day. And so I

asked you guys, if you had a superpower, what

would it be? You know, what did some of you answer?

Teleportation. Anybody else? Patience. That could

be a superpower. It's a superpower. Anybody over

here? Teleportation. They took it? All right.

Well, at that point in my life, a couple, some

years ago, I'll say over 15 years ago, I wished

that my superpower could be to be invisible,

to hide in a cave, to never come out, for nobody

to ever see me again. I literally wanted to control

alt and delete and start over. But I'm so thankful

because look at where I am now, right? Look at

where we are now. By the grace of God, I stand

here today and I glorify in knowing that he is

God and he is merciful and graceful. So in digging

into shame and guilt, I have to tell you that

I'm a bit of a psychology nerd. I love psychology.

I studied psychology a little bit. And so there

is a difference between shame and guilt. Shame

is something that is internal. Shame says, I

am something wrong. Shame focuses on self and

it focuses on your identity. Where guilt, it

becomes external. It says, I did something wrong.

It focuses on a behavior and a violation of personal

values. So shame is internal. Guilt is external.

Shame is a weapon when it keeps us in hiding,

it causes defensiveness, and sometimes it even

leads us to project hurt onto others. Where guilt

being external can be a gift when it leads to

repentance. It can often lead to apologizing,

repairing, and taking responsibility. You see,

shame affects our desired self -image. It really

affects who we want to be, who we aspire to be.

So when we feel shame, there's this sense of,

that's not who I wanted to be. And when we feel

guilt, we are acknowledging what we've done.

And it leads us to repentance and repairing and

taking responsibility. So in essence, we want

this. Spiritual transformation from internal

to external. And we want to realize that your

mistakes are what you did. They're not who you

are. They're not your identity. Your identity

is in Christ. So I'm going to say that one more

time. Your mistakes are what you did. They are

not who you are. Your identity is in Christ.

I had plenty of testimony in my life. And so

from the very beginning, the enemy has used shame

to separate people from God. We see that in the

story of Adam and Eve. Do you guys remember that

they went to hide because they realized that

they were naked? And so I can imagine they sewed

some leaves together and some twine, and they

covered their bodies. God comes looking for them,

and it says they didn't turn towards God. They

hid from him. They said, I was afraid because

I was naked. And before sin, nakedness was innocence,

right? After sin, nakedness felt like they were

exposed. And so shame will make you feel like

you have to avoid people, places, things. Shame

definitely doesn't allow you to delight in your

life. It makes you feel like you have to avoid

prayer. Like you have to avoid worship, avoid

fellowship, avoid community, avoid your calling.

But something that God did when he was walking

in the garden, he said, where are you? Not because

he didn't know where they were. I mean, God is

omnipresent. He's omnipotent. But because he

wanted them to say, we are here. You know what

we are here? It's a sense of restoration. Lord,

here I am. I'm exposing myself. So he wanted

their restoration. So know this, that God does

not abandon you in your shame. He comes looking

for you. He pursues you, even when you're hiding,

even when you wish that your superpower was to

disappear. God comes looking for you, and he

pursues your heart. See, guilt is cleansed and

shame is covered. In Psalms, we look at the story

of King David and he said, do you guys remember

the story where King David understood deeply

what his guilt was after his sin with Bathsheba?

If you guys want to know more about it, come

talk to me and we could sit down and talk about

it. But in Psalms 51, he cries out, wash me.

And I will be whiter than snow. Guilt says I

need cleansing. Guilt is external. It recognizes

what has been done. It recognizes offenses. And

the blood of Jesus provides this. So let's read

some scripture together. If you guys want to

stand with me. When I was studying how to do

sermons, a lot of the time I love to grab scripture

and take it apart. But sometimes there's a theme

that needs to be read. And so then there's scriptures

that come together in different ways. So we're

going to look at two different scriptures today.

The first one is Romans 8, verse 1. And then

Romans 8:1

if you want to follow along with me, it'll be

Isaiah 61, verse 7. So Romans 8, verse 1 says,

Isaiah 61:7 Romans 8:1

There is therefore now no condemnation to them.

which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after

the flesh, but after the spirit. And in Isaiah

61, 7, it says, instead of your shame, you will

receive a double portion. And instead of disgrace,

you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so

you will inherit a double portion in your land

and everlasting joy will be yours. Amen. Let's

pray real quick. Father God, we thank you so

much for your word, your message, and for what

we have to take away today. Allow us to focus

on you. Allow us to focus on delighting in you

and our freedom in you. Amen. I promise I'll

move right along. So when we read, therefore,

there is now no condemnation for those who are

in Christ Jesus, notice it says no condemnation.

It doesn't say now there is now some reduced

condemnation or half -off condemnation or clearance

condemnation. It says there is no condemnation.

For those who are in Christ Jesus. And it also

makes it a point to say, therefore, now. So the

condemnation isn't delayed. It's now. It says

a present moment, immediate reality for the believer

rather than a future hope. So Jesus took the

punishment for our sin. And the condemnation

is not delayed. It's now. So therefore now there

is no condemnation for those who are in Jesus

Christ. So through Jesus Christ, your guilt is

forgiven. Your record is cleared. Your sentence

is canceled. And so we don't have to sit there

and worry that, what about what I did? What about

this shame that I feel? Your first step is recognizing

guilt externally. And knowing that through Jesus

Christ, there is no condemnation. And he kind

of did a big thing. He died on the cross for

our sin, for our guilt, for our shame. And he

didn't do this secretly, you guys. He did this

publicly. He was humiliated. He was shamed. He

was beaten. It was a public display. Do you think

that at any moment that Jesus was enduring all

of this humiliation that he wanted to go hide?

Didn't you think at one moment that he said,

God, take this cup away. I don't want it. He

wanted to hit that delete button. I'm sure, I'm

sure of it. At one point when he was enduring

all of the pain and all of the humiliation publicly,

I am absolutely sure that at one point he didn't

want it. The cross was not just painful, it was

humiliating. It was public stripping, public

mocking, public rejection. Jesus took your shame

so that you would not have to live in it. The

enemy wants you to remember your worst moment.

He wants you to believe the false narrative of

your identity in shame. He wants you to remember

all of the bad things that you've done. He wants

you to remember all of the embarrassing moments.

He wants you to remember all of the shameful

moments. He wants you to remember that you need

to sit in guilt. But you know what God wants

you to remember? That Christ finished work has

cleansed you of your sins. That him dying of

that on the cross. has taken all of your guilt

and your shame and it has wiped you clean as

snow. That fresh snow. Not the snow after the

dirt and the mud and the animals have gotten

to it. Clean as snow. Not the snow where the

tires have run through the mud and there's speckles

on the snow. Clean as that fresh fallen snow.

Isaiah 61, 7 says, instead of your shame, you

shall receive a double portion. Everlasting joy

will be yours. Do you think that's delight? Do

you feel like that's delight? A double portion

of everlasting joy will be yours. So instead

of a double portion, instead of double shame.

So God makes an exchange. God makes this amazing

exchange. He doesn't just remove shame. He replaces

it. Double portion instead of double shame. God

makes an exchange. Where you were embarrassed,

he gives honor. Where you were rejected, he gives

acceptance. Where you were broken, he gives purpose.

When I read this every single time that I got

to this part, every time that I moved things

around, tweaked this message, every time that

I got to this part where you were broken, he

gives purpose. So how do we walk in freedom?

We want shame to... be from an internal place

to an external place where we realize that guilt

is not our identity, that there's forgiveness,

that our identity is in Christ, children of God.

So we confess, honestly, like... Sometimes it's

really hard for adults to just be honest about

who they are and all of the uglies that they've

done. And sometimes there's moments of who they

are in secrecy that maybe their spouse, their

family doesn't even know about them. But a freedom

from shame and guilt comes from honesty, an honest

self -reflection of who we are. And if we can't

be honest with ourselves, then who can be honest

for us? We have to expose our guilt when it comes

out of shame. We have to be accountable for the

things that we've done. We have to replace shame

with accountability. We have to replace shame

with... Letting people know, I need prayer. I

need help. I need Jesus. I need my broken pieces

to feel whole again. So if we confess our sins,

he is faithful and just to forgive. That's 1

John 1 .19. Receive forgiveness fully. Stop asking

God over and over to forgive what he's already

forgiven. You have to reject that false identity

that you are not what you did. You are who God

says you are. You are his child. You stand firm

in your identity in him. He wants you to feel

his grace, his love, and his presence new every

morning, every day. He gives us his gift. We

need to step out of hiding. Step out of wanting

to delete those parts in our life. They formed

us. They created us in who we are now, right?

Shame survives in secrecy. It breathes in darkness.

And freedom grows in light. Guess what? The cross

was enough. You're not disqualified. You're not

permanently stained. Your shame is removed. Your

identity is restored. Your future is secure.

So we lift our head. Psalms 34 .5 says, Those

who look to him are radiant. It doesn't just

say those who look to him are good. Those who

look to him are okay. It says those who look

to him are radiant. It's that inner joy, that

inner freedom. Their faces are never covered

with shame. That's in the Bible, you guys. If

there's anything that you can write down today,

Psalms 34, 5. Those who look to him are radiant.

Their faces are never covered with shame. That's

freedom. That's delighting in the Lord. And freedom

belongs to us. There is freedom in having a relationship

with Jesus Christ. There might not be freedom

in religion, but there is freedom in relationship.

There is freedom in standing firm in your identity

in Christ and who he has called you to be. And

freedom belongs to you. Amen? Amen. I promised

it was going to be short and sweet. Let's pray.

Father God, thank you so much. for healing us

from our shame and our guilt. And healing is

constant. Healing is every day. And if it wasn't

for your healing grace, I don't know where we

would be. Thank you for coming into our lives

when you did. Thank you if you've always been

in our lives. Because that is a testimony. Thank

you for freedom. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.