20260419 The Family Sunday Sermon Tim Dickmann

Alright, so we're beginning here what will be

a series on the family. And so, in the weeks

to come, we'll deal with a handful of topics.

The family, we're going to deal with what is

biblical manhood, what is biblical womanhood,

what is biblical discipline, what is biblical

child rearing, things like that. So I hope that

you'll be here. I hope that you will benefit

from it. I wasn't planning on beginning at this

point. You may find that strange. But I want

to ask the question this morning, what is the

family? If we're going to talk about family,

we better know what we're talking about. I asked

some of my kids yesterday, what's the family?

And they gave me some good answers and so I think

I think we're in agreement here. I hope But we

better be and so we're just going to start with

some basic things here. And so what is a family?

When the Bible speaks of a family, what does

it mean? Okay, where do we get the family? Is

this just some? Something that we've just kind

of established over time or is Is this something

biblical? Is this something scriptural? Do we

go to the Bible for it? Well, we obviously think

it is biblical, it is scriptural, that we have

warrant for what a family is in the Bible. And

so the first verse that we're gonna look at here

is out of Genesis. I'm gonna go to the very beginning,

the book of beginnings, Genesis chapter two.

And we'll begin reading here in verse 18. Then

the Lord God said it is not good for the man

to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable

for him out of the ground the Lord God formed

every beast of the field and every bird of the

sky and brought them to the man to see what he

would call them and Whatever the man called a

living creature. That was its name The man gave

names to all the cattle, to the birds of the

sky, to every beast of the field, but to Adam

there was not found a helper suitable for him.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon

the man and he slept. Then he took one of his

ribs and closed up the flesh at the place. The

Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which

he had taken from the man and brought her to

the man. The man said, this is now bone of my

bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called

woman. Because she was taken out of man For this

reason a man shall leave his father and his mother

and be joined to his wife And they shall become

one flesh and the man and his wife were both

naked and were not ashamed Here's the beginning

of the family the man and a woman Adam and Eve

here Jesus speaks of the same things Paul brings

up Genesis, right? Ephesians when he's giving

instructions regarding the family he says he

quotes Genesis there in Ephesians 5 we'll maybe

deal with that in a little bit but this is where

it begins begins in Genesis it begins by whose

design was it Adams design that he wanted a wife

and so he decided I'm gonna start a family no

it wasn't Adams design right It was God's design.

He said it's not good for the man to be alone.

And so he brought all these animals to him. Have

you ever thought of that? This is a side note.

Adam named all the animals. I mean that's phenomenal.

That is amazing to think that Adam named all

the animals. It's amazing. I mean just to think

how many names he had to come up with. The intelligence

that he must have had is amazing to think about.

Anyway, that's a side note. But there was nothing

there for him, right? There was nothing there.

And so God makes a woman. He brings the woman

to the man and says, here you go. And the first

family is formed there with Adam and Eve. And

so these are basic principles. And I think we're

all in agreement here, right? I don't think I've

got anybody sitting here telling me that I'm

crazy thinking these things. And I don't think

anybody here thinks anything different. But this

is where it begins. Right here in Genesis, and

so this is the foundation of our family, of our

view of the family. It begins here in the Word

of God by God's design, and it is good for us.

Let's read a couple of the passages here. So

if we go to the New Testament, in Ephesians there,

we'll read... couple of verses here out of Ephesians.

Maybe we'll just read this whole thing because

we're going to make mention or reference it later

on. Paul, he's giving instructions here. He says

in verse 22 of chapter 5, wives be subject to

your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband

is the head of the wife as Christ also is the

head of the church. He himself being the Savior

of the body. But as the church is subject to

Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their

husbands and everything. Husbands, love your

wives, just as Christ also loved the church,

and gave himself up for her, so that he might

sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing

of water with the word, that he might present

to himself the church in all her glory, having

no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that

she would be holy and blameless. So husbands

ought also to love their own wives as their own

bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes

and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the

church. Because we are members of his body. For

this reason, a man shall leave his father and

mother, and shall be joined to his wife, and

the two shall become one flesh. This mystery

is great, but I am speaking with reference to

Christ in the church. Nevertheless, each individual

among you also is to love his own wife even as

himself, and the wife must see to it that she

respects her husband." So again, Paul there,

he uses these words from Genesis in the very

beginning in the establishment of the family

as he gives instructions for husbands and wives.

We've dealt with some of these things before

so when I preach through Peter I don't want to

rehash everything so I think we all understand

it, but I'm just gonna say it There is an order

in the family we read that here the husband is

the head of the wife Just as Christ is the head

of the church wives are to submit themselves

to their husbands as the church submits to Christ

That's pretty clear It should be it's clear to

us. I hope There is this order in the family

and it is God ordained And I want to stress this

to us Because it is vital. It is critical. It

is not optional. All right To have a family is

not necessarily to have a biblical family Right,

can we all agree with that? Just because we have

a family doesn't mean it's a biblical family

even if we're in church every Sunday It means

nothing. If the husband is not leading the wife,

if he is not the head of the home, if he doesn't

wear the pants, it's not a biblical home. It's

not a biblical family. Let's be very clear about

that. You can come to church every Sunday. You

can even have your devotions every day and not

be leading your wife. as the Bible tells you

to be, and you have an unbiblical family. That's

just the reality of it. So there is an order.

Again, you can be the most spiritual wife in

so many ways, spending time in the Word, at church

every Sunday, Wednesday, when the doors are open,

and not be submissive to your husband, and you

don't have a biblical family. You're failing.

That's the crux of the matter, right? That's

the realities that we're dealing with. Is that

okay? No, it's not. It's not okay. And so that's

why we're teaching on these things. To make sure

that we're all clear on these. And that we can

all change and conform our lives to Scripture.

That's the goal. A very simple, clear example

Paul gives us here with Christ and the Church.

Christ is the head of the church as the husband

is the head of the wife Does the church say to

Christ? Hey, I don't really appreciate what you

did here. I don't like this teaching that you

gave us here and so We're not going to do that

That's laughable right we all would say that's

ludicrous that's insanity and yet That happens

all the time In the church. Church in quotation

marks there. But then also in the husband -wife

relationship. The wives do the same thing. Well,

I'm not going to follow that. I'm not going to

do that one. That sounds nice. Go ahead. But

that's not for me. That's not a biblical family.

You're in sin. Husbands. Lead. Right? How did

Christ lead the church? He gave clear instruction.

He gave guidance. He gave leadership. He loved

the church. He laid down his life for the church.

We look at Christ. All that he did, all that

he accomplished, all that he went through for

us. And we say what wondrous love is this? Oh

my soul. Is that how you're leading your wife?

Is that what your wife's saying to you? What

a wonderful love he shows me as he leads me in

these things. Let me follow him. We know these

things. Are we putting them into practice? Are

we loving? Are we leading? Are we submitting

as we should as husbands and wives? Like I said,

we've talked about these things before, so I

think we're all in agreement. But are we doing

them? It's one thing to say, yes, I agree. It's

another thing to do it. You young couples, it

is vital that as you begin your relationship,

these things are established now. It only gets

harder. It only gets harder. Have you ever been

at work? So this is my experience at work. When

I don't lead well, it goes poorly. So we get

some guys, maybe some new guys, and you know,

you want to be nice, you want to get along, you

know, you want to show them, hey, I'm not a big

over, even though I am. And so, you know, so

we're going to, you know, we're going to make

it, you know, just get along here. You know,

they're doing some things that you're thinking,

oh, well, you know, they're new. It's their first

week. Let's... What happens? It doesn't change.

And then you just got to put the hammer down

eventually. Maybe you even say, hey, you know,

you know, nice. Maybe we don't want to do it

like that. But you don't really tell them, hey,

that's not an option. We're doing it like this.

It's the same with your wife and your husbands.

It's the same thing. Just getting along. Oh,

everything's all great. Let's just get along

here and move on through Ten years later. Nothing's

changed and you've walked down this road and

there's no turning back it feels like Because

these habits are set the patterns have been the

way they are So you young people establish a

biblical pattern now? Husbands lead your wives

wives submit to your husbands It's important.

It's important I'm gonna say this later on I'm

gonna say it now and maybe I won't say it later.

Does it does it really matter? Okay, we're gonna

talk about biblical manhood. We're gonna talk

about raising children disciplining children

Does it really matter if at the end of the day?

We stay married for 50 years. I mean, is this

really that important that we live like this?

Is it important that we discipline our children

a certain way as long as they turn out to be

good citizens? As long as they're productive

in society and they're responsible? Does it really

matter? You know, so -and -so raised five kids

and they didn't do any of these things you're

talking about. I know somebody who's been married

60 years and they don't do these things. Does

it matter? Yeah, it matters. Why does it matter?

Because we've been given instructions. We've

been commanded to do things a certain way. It

doesn't matter what you like. It doesn't matter

how you feel. It doesn't matter what worked for

somebody else, quote unquote. What matters is

are you being obedient to God? That's the Christian

life, right? Are we to just make up our own rules

as we go? No, God has given us instructions.

He has told us to do things a certain way. If

we neglect that, we're in sin, plain and simple.

Okay? So, my goal, as we go through all of these

things, is to give you what the Bible says. Now,

obviously, there are some things where I'm gonna

give my counsel, my experience in life, but it's

hopefully based upon biblical principles. If

you neglect those biblical principles, you are

in sin. Plain and simple. If you do not discipline

your children according to scripture, you are

in sin. If you do it your way and not God's way,

you are in sin. Is God glorified in that? No.

What are our lives supposed to be? What's our

main goal? What's our objective? To glorify God.

Why are we put on this earth? To glorify God.

We're failing at level one if we refuse to do

what God has called us to do. So the family,

we start here with the husbands and wives. It

is essential that these things be done in order.

That the husbands lead. That the wives submit.

The husband loves his wife and lays down his

life for her. These are essential. These are

essential to the family. Briefly then. That is

essential that the husband leads. But does every

family look the same? What does it look like

to lead? We'll deal with this more later on,

but consider that. A simple example. One thing

that I tell every married couple that I counsel.

Your family may look a little different than

mine. The way things run in your home may look

differently than mine. And that's okay. Because

the way I lead and the way you lead may be slightly

different. And the things that you require, I

may not require. But whatever those things are,

the husband is to lead in them. So for example,

does it matter who cooks dinner? Does it matter

who cleans the house? Does it matter who pays

the bills? Does the Bible tell us who's to do

each one of those things? Not necessarily. But

does the Bible tell us that those things are

supposed to be done? Yes. And so it's the husband's

job to what? See to it that they get done. If

that means delegation, if that means doing it

himself, it doesn't matter. He is to lead in

that. Leading is commanding. Leading is giving

instruction. Leading is saying this will be done

today. The house will be cleaned every whatever.

Dinner is going to be on the table for the family

so that we can all eat together. The bills are

going to be paid on such and such a date by me,

by you, by whoever. So that may look differently,

but it's all to be done. Those are three simple

things, but that branches out into all manner

of areas in your personal life, your family traditions,

things like that that you do. It's gonna look

different from home to home, but husbands are

to lead in all of those things. Okay. Why is

this so important? Why is the family so important?

Or is the family very important? Maybe I should

ask that question. Is the family important? Have

you thought about that? I mean, I think we all

think the family. We all love our families, and

so we're all thinking, well, yeah, family's important.

I love my family. But the family unit and the

way that the family is structured and organized

and run and so on so forth is that important?

It's vitally important It's pivotal. It's key

We cannot stress enough the importance of it

The world sees the importance of the family I

looked at one one website And they were talking

about how important the family is. And here's

the reasons why. And they were good reasons.

They were really good reasons. The problem with

the website was their view of what the family

was wasn't biblical. What is the family? Two

men? Two women? Two women and some children?

Well, yeah, they think all these things are true

regarding the family, but they don't have a biblical

view of the family So the world thinks family

is important Because it is impactful in the lives

of children impactful on society and That is

true Do you realize the importance? The huge

role that you play as a husband and as a father

in the lives of your children We are shaping

our children, either in a good way or a bad way.

There's a huge responsibility upon our shoulders

as parents. Here's a list of things that this

website talked about. Socialization, behavior,

identity, your children's identity, the values

that they grow up with. social skills, education,

providing physical needs, emotional needs, emotional

support, stress, anxiety, depression, all these

different things. If the world sees how important

the family is in the life of a child, as a church

do we see the importance of the family in the

lives of our children? We are to instruct them

in godliness, in the gospel. The values that

we share are not the values that the world shares.

They say instruct them in these good values.

What are they based on? Whatever. Doesn't matter,

right? Just as long as the family's together.

Just as long as you instruct them in whatever

it is. But no. The family is vital for those

reasons because we are training, disciplining,

teaching, shaping our children. It is critically

important, this family structure. It's important

in society and it's important in the church.

Do we view it in that way? Do you see how impactful

the family is? Couple of quotes here. As the

family goes, so goes the church and society.

That's true. That is true. As the family goes,

so goes the church and so goes society. A wise

man has said that. Here's another one. This is

from Joel Beeke. Godly husbands and fathers are

at the center of biblically ordered families.

Biblically ordered families are vital to the

health of the church. The church is the beachhead

of God's kingdom and both the salt and light

of society. The family impacts the church and

society. The breakdown of the family is a breakdown

in society. It is a breakdown of the church.

It is key that we maintain the true biblical

family that we are given in the Word. We see

the destruction of it in our society. Okay? So

I want to make that clear. So this website that

I got on to look at these things, they had some

nice things to say. They were some good things.

This list that I said, how parents impact and

the family impacts the children, that's true.

But they tear down the family because they don't

hold the family for what it really is. They don't

view the family in a biblical way. It doesn't

matter what the family looks like to them. Whatever

that family may be, they're happy with that.

That's not okay. It's not okay that two men have

children. Of course, it's physically impossible,

but they shouldn't be adopting children. That's

not a family. That's not a good thing. Is that

child going to grow up with healthy values, with

biblical values? with a proper view on all these

different things? No, of course not. But the

world loves that. They think that's such a wonderful,

loving thing that these guys have adopted some

children and now they've got this wonderful family.

It's not. It's horrible. It's a total disregard

of all truth. We should be willing to stand for

the family. Saying what I'm saying here, the

family is what it is according to Scripture.

Husbands and wives, children, husbands and wives

in this biblical relationship leading, submitting,

children obeying. We have got to stand for those

things. Satan's desire. is to destroy the family.

And we see that. We see that in our society now.

I remember years ago, what was the big thing?

It takes a village to raise children. Right?

Maybe they still spout that, I don't know. I

remember Hillary Clinton was all big into that.

Was that back in the early 90s or something like

that. That's nonsense. That's foolishness. That's

the devil. Takes a village to raise a child.

No, it doesn't It takes two godly parents. That's

what it takes Relying upon God led of the spirit.

That's what it takes to raise children It doesn't

take a village Black lives matter. I was that

came to my mind for some reason this week. And

so I was looking up some stuff and Did they were

they really seeking to destroy the family and

you know, you get all these different articles

Some people say, well, no, they weren't. Some

say they were. They went about it in a roundabout

way. Saying, well, yeah, we don't want to destroy

the family. We just don't think that the family

as it used to be is really very tenable any longer.

And so what is that? That's a destruction of

the family. It's no good. It's no longer okay

in this way. Family is more this, community.

And, you know, too many single people. And so,

you know, that's the family. And that's what

we need to nurture and encourage now. That's

not family. It's not a biblical family. Do we

have single mothers and fathers raising children?

We do. And we love and support and help them

all that we can. But we don't say that's a good,

biblical, fine role model to have their single

parents with children. That's not a good thing.

That's not okay if that's just how it happened

to play out. It's not acceptable. In society,

it's acceptable any longer, right? Anything goes.

That's not family. And you see our society falling

further and further and further because of it.

We should stand for truth. and stand for a biblical

family. It is essential. Satan would seek to

tear it down, corrupt, diminish, and destroy

of the biblical family. And he has done that

in many ways in our society. And so, be on guard

against that. It's not a family, all of these

other things. It's not. Alright. So. Let me conclude

like this then. As I've already said, I want

to look at these things from a biblical point

of view. I don't want to just give you my opinions.

And that's why we started here. We started with

the family. We started in Genesis there. We looked

at this passage in Ephesians that Paul deals

with, where he deals with husbands and wives,

talks about the family. We are going to deal

with these other topics that I've already mentioned

And it's not an easy thing I just want everybody

to know that for me to stand here It's not an

easy thing What am I going to say to you regarding

manhood what is it to be a biblical man Do you

think I'm perfect in that No, I'm not. But I

can look out here and I can see too. You guys

aren't perfect in this. And so what am I gonna

do? I'm gonna be calling you out, right? Again,

I'm not gonna try to call you out personally,

obviously. But it's not an easy thing to sit

here and say these things when we start dealing

with children. That's not an easy thing either.

I want you all to know it's not easy for me to

say the things that I say if you're offended

by them. That's not my goal to offend you. My

goal is to nurture and to grow you up in the

truth. To help you along the way. That's my goal.

Because I love you. So if I offend you, I'm sorry.

I don't mean to be offensive. But if the truth

is offensive, then good. I hope that it strikes

a nerve, strikes a chord, and it changes you.

I hope the truth is transforming. That's my desire.

That's my goal. Not to be offensive because I'm

saying the things in a way I shouldn't say them.

That's not what I want. I want to say them in

a way that helps, that encourages. you to change.

All of these topics are important for every one

of you. You young women. Izzy. Julia. I'm sorry,

I don't know your name. Mia, that's right. Biblical

manhood. Does that mean anything to you guys?

Is that important to you? It is, it should be.

Because you're gonna seek for a man one day to

be married, hopefully. And when you do have a

man, hopefully you'll have children, and you

wanna raise them up to be men. Men of God. Charlie,

Josh, Mike and Marty, Ben. What does a biblical

woman look like? You guys are going to look for

those one day. It's important, right? Womanhood,

manhood, children, it applies to all of us. Grandparents,

we, we've got something, right? We should be

able to give wisdom and instruction in these

things. So it's important for us to know what

these things are. It applies to all of us. And

so just because I'm not speaking to you to change

your life doesn't mean you shouldn't be thinking

about what these things mean in the lives of

the ones you're looking to in the future and

your children and so on. So they are of vital

importance to us. I want us to take these things

to heart. I want us to change. I want to change.

I want to be a better man. I want to be a better

father. A better husband. I have not arrived,

as you all well know. Growth and maturity in

these things is the goal. To the glory of God.

To the honor of Christ. I want to say that just

as we begin here. These things that I've already

said, we know those things. They're clear. Hopefully,

we're striving after those things or changing

our lives to be better husbands and wives in

that regard. I didn't want to say this because

I think this goes to what I said earlier. The

means do not justify the ends, okay? I said that.

You don't, it doesn't matter that so -and -so

raised their children and they didn't apply any

biblical principles and their kids seemed great.

It doesn't give us license to do that. I was

reminded here of the story of Moses in Numbers

20, where the people complained and the Lord

told them take your staff and go speak to the

Rock. Remember that? And what did he do? He goes

and strikes the rock and the rock brings forth

water. It was the same end. The people got their

water just like God wanted. But it didn't happen

in the way that it was supposed to happen. What

were the repercussions of that? Moses didn't

enter the promised land. That's huge. Have you

thought of that? I mean, I sympathize with Moses.

Here he's got a stiff neck, rebellious people.

Constantly dealing with them. Constantly bringing

them to the Lord. Trying to get between them

to the Lord that the Lord wouldn't wipe them

out. And he's had enough. He strikes the rock.

He doesn't enter. That's amazing to me. That's

how serious obedience to the Lord is. It's not

a small thing. The same end came about. The people

were given the water, but God was not glorified

in that. And Moses suffered for it. must be obedient

no matter what. Or we will suffer the consequences

of that. Our children will suffer for that. Our

wives and our husbands will suffer for that.

Society will suffer. The church will suffer.

Obedience is paramount. Obedience to the Lord.

in every area of our lives.