20260503 Husbands and Leading Sunday Sermon Tim Dickmann

So we're going to continue here with our topic

of the family And we're going to deal this morning

with husbands and leading So a couple of verses

here That we've already read but again, let's

just read them again and so that we can see here

what the Bible says Ephesians 5 22 Wives be subject

to your own husbands as to the Lord for the husband

is the head of the wife as Christ is the head

of the church So we see there some instruction

for the wives, but it tells us what the husbands

are the husbands are the head Okay, so the wives

are to submit to their husbands Because he's

the head of the home as Christ is the head of

the church, so we've already we've mentioned

this before Ephesians 5 25 husbands love your

wives just as Christ loved the church so within

this role of husbands and wives we see the husband

as the head we see also how he's to lead we still

lead in love as Christ has led in love 1st Timothy

3 4 This is speaking of the elders He says he

must be one who manages his own household well

keeping his children under control with all dignity

But if a man does not know how to manage his

own household, how will he take care of the Church

of God? So this is directed specifically to the

elders, but it's not as though That was the only

guy in the church and the only men in the church

who were doing these things Okay, so this word

here that he says manage I don't know what your

translation may say, but it has to do with ruling,

presiding over leadership is what he's talking

about here. So this passage dealing with the

elders in particular, again, all men are to lead

their homes, manage their household well. And

then he says the same thing with regard to the

deacons in 1 Timothy 312, good managers of their

children. their households so ruling and leading

in a good way Another passage here that we've

mentioned before first Peter 3 7 You husbands

in the same way live with your wives in an understanding

way Or if you've got the King James it says according

to knowledge All right, so I like that better

that makes it real plain. I think According to

knowledge as with someone weaker since she is

a woman and show her honor as a fellow heir of

the grace of life So that your prayers will not

be hindered So we see here men are to lead that

they are the head of the home just as Christ

is the head of the church and We see there to

lead in love loving their wives as Christ loved

the church and we We've already heard this morning

how Christ loved the church, right? We've heard

that. It was a sacrificial love. It was a laying

down of his life in love. It was a service, a

life of service to the church, serving. And so

that's how husbands should lead. Christ is the

example in all that we do. We've heard that.

I think we all have heard that time and again.

Am I right? And I think, I hope we all agree

with that. I've not heard anybody say, hey, I

don't agree with this. So I hope we're all in

agreement, still. And so what is my point this

morning, my goal this morning? I want to give

some practical, helpful advice based upon the

Word of God on how we are to lead. We as husbands,

as fathers, are to lead in a certain way. What

is that way? What does that look like? What does

that mean? Right? It's great to say, hey, lead

your home. And we all say, amen, absolutely.

Let's do that. And then we all go about our lives

and we're all looking around and saying, is that

leading? Who's leading? How are we leading? Is

that leadership? I'm not sure. So let's talk

about that this morning. What does it mean to

lead your home? What does it mean to be the head

of your home? To lead your wife? What does it

look like practically? Well, first of all, hopefully

you got this from last week's message, but you've

got to lead yourself. You have to be a man in

order to lead a wife. A biblical man. So you

have to lead yourself. You have to be exercising

responsibility in all areas of your life. How

are you going to lead somebody if you're not

leading yourself? Right? I mean, that's just

obvious to us. You have to be seeing to the needs

of your soul. In other words, you've got to be

in the Word. You've got to be spending time with

the Lord. You've got to be growing. We mentioned

that last week. Learning, growing. You've got

to be seeing to your own physical needs. So your

spiritual needs, you've got to be dealing with.

You've got to be growing. You've got to see to

your physical needs. How are you going to care

for a wife? How are you going to care for children

if you can't even care for yourself physically?

If you're not working, if you're not providing,

what good? What good can you do for a family?

following biblical principles in your own life,

I wrote down here. So, being faithful, exercising

wisdom, discipline, growing spiritually, devoted

to prayer, submitted to the authority God has

placed over you, His Word, right? That is our

authority, the Word of God. If we're not submitted

to that, Why do we think anybody is going to

submit to us? Submit it to the Word of God. Submit

it to the authorities over you. So we could say,

submit it to the elders. Submit it to your bosses

at work. Right? I mean that's how what a man

should be doing. A man leads in submission, leads

his wife in submission by submitting to the authorities

that are over him. You children You young men

You're not leading a wife yet, but you should

be submitted to your parents Growing in this

submission growing in manhood. That's one of

the things you should be doing standing for truth

I'll put down here You've got to lead yourself

if you're gonna lead a wife if you're gonna lead

children. You better be leading yourself As a

side note, you young ladies, you young ladies

who are looking for a husband, if these are not

qualities you see in him, run away. You don't

want any part of this guy. He might be a sweetheart,

really nice guy, a real charmer, but he's not

going to lead you when you marry him. Stay away

from him. You're looking for a godly man One

who serves the Lord and will lead you in the

way that you should go Parents you see your daughter

falling for this guy you say no, we're not going

there Parents if you've got a son who's not this

way and you see a young lady falling for him

You better say get away from him He's not ready

You want no part of him. He's not ready to lead

you. We have that responsibility as parents,

you young parents. It's a serious thing who you

give your children to and who you encourage in

their relationships. So, that's a side note.

Jake mentioned this morning already, Joel Beeke

and this book, Lead Your Family, right? How to

lead your family. We're going to give that out

to everybody. And in that book, he talks about

leading as a prophet, priest, and a king. Those

are his three, basically yes, three chapters.

In a conclusion, intro. But three chapters there.

Leading as a prophet, leading as a priest, leading

as a king. So I'm not going to go into all those

things this morning. We're going to give that

to you, and we're going to encourage you to read

that. Because there's great benefit in it. It's

a good book. It's a little bitty booklet. Everybody

can handle it. It's wonderful. But he talks in

there about a prophet. What was the role of a

prophet? The essential task is to be God's spokesman

to his people. So making truth known. Making

truth known to your wife and your children. Leading

as a prophet. That's part of your responsibility

if you're going to lead well. If you're gonna

lead according to God's design. Now, who was

a prophet? There's all sorts of prophets, right?

But Jesus, right? Jesus was the prophet that

was to come. He's our example. Who was the priest?

Jesus, right? Jesus, prophet, priest, and king.

So if we lead as a prophet, priest, and king,

we're leading like Jesus. He is our example.

So a prophet making truth known. Priest. Sacrifice

and intercession. Loving as Christ loved. We

already read that. Laying down his life. He was

that sacrificial lamb. Giving his life for the

church. We lead in that way. Giving our lives

for our families. For our wife in particular.

We do all these things that the priests did.

Praying for them, serving them, living a life

of sacrifice for them. We'll just leave it at

that. We'll deal with some more of that later

on. And then a king, he goes into the king leading,

taking responsibility, defending spiritually

and physically. So, it's a good booklet. And

these things that we're going to talk about this

morning... That you could put I think all of

them under that one of those categories there

So I just Give that to you as an introduction

So what is leading taking responsibility? That's

the first thing I have down here if you're going

to lead You have to know it is your responsibility

What is your responsibility As a husband in your

home, what is your responsibility in the home?

Everything. Everything is your responsibility.

If you don't understand that, then you're not

going to be a good leader. You're not going to

be a good husband. You're not going to be leading

in the way that Christ has told us to lead. You

are the head of the home. You are responsible

for everything that goes on and everything that

doesn't go on. You are responsible for it. Don't

give it on a job. Me, right? I'm building a house.

If at the end of the day, or end of the job,

the guy comes to me and he says, hey, we're supposed

to have a window here. There's no window. You

got a window over here. We're not supposed to

have one there. And you got these bedrooms all

mixed. Whose fault is that? I say, well, I had

Caleb laying that out. He says, sorry. No, it's

not his fault. It's my fault. I'm responsible.

I'm the guy. The buck stops here, right? That's

how it is in just supervision in life, right?

At your work. There are plenty of supervisors

out there. Who's responsible? You are. It's not

Joe's job, even though you told him to. It's

your job. And that's how it is in the home. God

has given us as husbands that authority, that

responsibility. We have got to take hold of that.

Understand that it rests upon our shoulders and

we must deal with it. We have to leave. Everything

is our responsibility. Don't be like Adam. When

God came to Amod, it's that woman you gave to

me. It's her fault that we fell. It wasn't me.

Don't brush it off somewhere else. Own up. God

went to the one who was responsible. It was Adam.

We are responsible in our homes if you're unwilling

to take that role then you never should have

Taken that role You young people that's the role

that you take as a husband when you get married.

That's your role to lead To take responsibility

in all things all things so Understand that it

is your responsibility everything that does and

does not go on in the home is your responsibility

Husbands are the final authority in the home.

So leading means making decisions We said we

I've mentioned this decisions have to be made

in the home Who's going to make them? The husband.

The husband is going to make the decisions. Okay?

Plain and simple. Now how are you going to go

about that? How are you going to go about making

these decisions? That's the question, right?

That's where the rubber meets the road. There's

a few things, there's a lot of things, a few

things in particular that you need to keep in

mind, right? You've got to communicate with your

wife. If you're going to make a decision, there's

got to be communication between you and your

wife. At least there should be. If you're going

to lead well, if you're going to lead according

to knowledge, if you're going to lead in wisdom

and understanding, you've got to talk to your

wife. That means taking that first step in communication.

Here's what we've got, babe. What are we going

to do? Communication. You have to lead in that.

You have to come together and talk about these

things. Now, obviously, it's better when you

all are going down the same road together, alright?

Think of it. You've got to make a decision about

school. Where are we going to send the kids to

school? What are we going to do here? Are we

going to homeschool? Are we going to send them

somewhere? What are we going to do? Well, if

you're going down this road together, and you

already have all of these other principles in

mind of how we're going to raise our children,

and what are our goals, what are our aims, you've

already talked about all these things. And when

it comes to that, you say, okay, well, this is

our goal for our children. Does that line up

with that goal? Descending them to public school

line up with what we want for our children. And

then that influences your decision, right? Descending

them to Christian school, is that going to accomplish

our goals that we set together for our children?

Is home school, is that where it's at? Is that

what we're going to do? If you have communicated

together in the beginning, here's our goals.

When you come to make a decision, it's much easier

Because some things are going to align with those

goals and some things are not And so you're going

to move forward in that way so it's imperative

that you and your wife walk together in in unity

That you're going down the same road with the

same goals with the same desires in mind And

in order to have those goals desires aims. You've

got to talk with her You have to say What are

our goals? What do we want? What do we want in

our life? What do we want for our children? What

do we want for a home? How many children are

we going to have? All of these different things,

you've got to communicate. You have to lead in

communication. It's imperative that you communicate

with one another. So I'm going to deal here with

communication for just a few minutes here. How

do we communicate with our wives? How do we lead

our wives in communication? You start the conversation.

You husbands have got to start the conversation.

If you're going to lead, it's not just sitting

around waiting for your wife to bring something

to you. It's you starting the conversation. It's

not just you talking. It's listening to your

wife as well. Let's talk about this. Here are

my thoughts. What are your thoughts? Okay It's

important that your wife feels free To say anything

she wants to you there all of her concerns her

opinions her thoughts her worries her fears all

of those things she should feel like She can

come to you with all of those things and you're

not going to shut her down You have to be open

to truly hear and listen to your wife And then

you could talk about those things you communicate

with one another This is an on this is not a

good this you're not thinking right, honey This

is not something you should be fearful of the

Lord is in charge of that So let's deal with

this other thing whatever it is you communicate

with one another You lead her in that communication.

Hear her, understand, and make sure she knows

that you understand. Do you understand what that

means? That she knows? In other words, you can

tell her what she just got done telling you.

You can say, yes, I understand what you're saying.

This is what you're saying. This is why I understand.

Why is that important? Because maybe you're going

to say, I disagree with you, right? And she's

going to be like, no, you don't understand what

I'm saying. And you're going to say, no, I do.

This is what you're saying. And she said, yes,

that's what I'm saying. And you say, I disagree

with you, right? We've all been in those conversations.

I really do understand. I've heard you. I've

listened. I understand. I love you. But I disagree

with you. And here's why. And so you communicate,

okay? That's imperative in a good marriage. If

you are truly going to lead your wife, she has

to be her. But at the end of the day then, after

you've communicated, you've talked, you've worked

these things out between you, and you still don't

come to an agreement, where do you go from there?

You make a decision, men. It's on you You say

honey, I disagree with you and here's why and

so this is what we're doing That's it End of

discussion right now. Hopefully that doesn't

happen often Hopefully that's not a normal thing

Hopefully she can say okay. Yeah, I see where

you're coming from that makes sense Let's go

together, and you walk down that road together

in unity Hand in hand, right? That's the goal.

That's what we're looking for. But it doesn't

always come like that. It doesn't always work

like that. And so you have to sometimes say,

I'm making the decision and here we go. That

is leading. That's leading in love because you've

talked, you've communicated, obviously you've

prayed about it, maybe you've sought wisdom about

this decision, and here you go. You're going

down this road. That is your responsibility,

men, and it is a big responsibility. I remember

in our marriage, one time, where we were just,

Amanda and I were just, we were just on two separate

pages. And at the end of the day, I had to make

a decision. And I did. It's not an enjoyable

thing. It's not an easy thing. It's hard. But

that is the responsibility of a man leading his

home. The decision had to be made and I had to

make it. That is how we lead. And wives, your

responsibility is to submit in that. Is it going

to be easy? Not necessarily. Right? It's not

easy. But that's what we're called to. To lead

and to submit. The Bible is very clear. So the

decision rests on you. This is one way in which

we lead we lead in communication and decision

-making Now we lead according to knowledge Peter

says there What does that mean a Few things I

wrote down here You have to know your wife If

you're going to lead her according to knowledge,

if you're going to lead her in an understanding

way, you better know your wife. You better know

her likes, her dislikes, her strengths, her weaknesses,

her fears. You better know her emotional state

when you're talking to her. You better know those

things that really set her off, so to speak.

she's really passionate about or every time you

talk about these things, it really is difficult.

You've got to know that so that you can lead

in a way that is helpful to her. So you can come

into this conversation or into this issue knowing

I've got to be very gentle here. My wife struggles

with this. I need to show her great love and

understanding and help her as we come to this

decision, as we come through this thing, whatever

it is. You have got to know your wife. If you

don't know your wife, you're not going to be

able to lead in a loving, caring, understanding

way that we're called to. So know your wife.

Lead her in an understanding way. One way in

particular that... Well, we'll deal with it So

lead in an understanding way children in particular,

you know Every everybody's different. So let's

let's just say that real quick here men and women

are different and Men and men are different and

women and women are different and so some women

are more emotional some men are more emotional,

right? I mean in a relationship everybody's unique

And so you've got to know one another. You've

got to know your wife in those situations. Children.

When you're dealing with children, that is a

difficult subject. Most women are very emotional

towards their children. They really love them.

And so when you're dealing with these things,

you've got to keep that in mind. You can't be

harsh with her. But you've got to lead her in

the dealing with children. It's important. It's

imperative. Know how she is Know what she's like

In all of these things It's important to lead

according to knowledge. It's according. It's

important to have wisdom in all of these things

To be led by the word to be led by biblical principles

Men we do not lead by fear and emotion. I'm afraid

of what could happen. That's not how we lead.

What if? That's not part of the discussion. We

lead based upon truth, based upon biblical principles.

Do not lead by emotion. Do not lead according

to fear. Now this has already been said, practically,

but I'm just gonna make it as clear, as abundantly

clear as I possibly can. You have to lead by

example. So again, we talked there about what

your life should look like. That's an example.

You have to lead by example. Your life in order,

your life doing all of these things that... You're

supposed to be doing and that you want your wife

to be a part of Lead by example we've all heard

it actions speak louder than words right and

Your wife knows is this just something he's saying

He's just saying this I really don't need to

follow it because he's not gonna do it. I know

he's not gonna make me do it That's not leading

that's just sin Lead in a way that you want them

to follow Now that applies and we'll deal with

some of this later when we deal with children

that is of course imperative When you are a father

and you're leading a wife and children Kids know

kids know what's really important to you they

see And if you say one thing and do the complete

opposite, they all know it. They may not say

it, but they all know it. And they're going to

act accordingly. Your life has got to be an example

to your wife and to your children. If you are

to lead in a God -honoring way. Your words and

your actions have to align. Some practical ways

that we lead what are things that should be in

our lives and ways that we should be leading

Family devotions I Put down here family devotions

and the meetings of the church Okay, those are

two separate things but they are they kind of

go together their family worship and corporate

worship If you want to think of it like that.

How do we lead in these things? How do we lead

in this? Well, obviously you've got to be at

the meeting, right? That's just a no -brainer.

If you're going to lead your family and you're

going to show them, because let's be honest,

what are we telling our kids about the meetings

of the church? Are they important? I think everybody

here would say, they're important. Yeah, oh yeah,

they're important. But then you're not here.

Are they important? No. No, they're not. They're

going to play second fiddle, whatever else. Whatever

else is out there. Yeah, it's important as long

as it fits into our schedule, right? That's how

important the meeting of the church is. So you've

got to lead by example. You've got to be here.

Family devotions. How important is it? It's very

important. We should have family devotions. Are

you? Your kids know what's important and what's

not. They're not stupid. Are you leading in that

way? Now, is it enough to just be here on Sunday

morning? Is that what we're talking about? No.

No, it's not. That's not what we're talking about.

We're not talking about just showing up on a

Sunday morning. Once you're here, that's just

the first step. What does it look like to lead

your family on a Sunday morning? You're leading

in a very clear way. Can't wait to get home.

We're singing. Is this song over yet? Oh, somebody

just sang out of tune. We laugh at that, right?

I mean, that's funny. Ha ha. It's not funny.

Are you leading your family? Are you singing?

What do we sing? It's that simple. Is the singing

important? Is that an important part of the worship

of God? Sure seems to be. It's all over in Scripture.

Old and New Testament. Are you participating

in the prayer meeting? Are you praying at home

with your family? Are you singing at home with

your family? My poor kids, I used to get on to

them all the time. I can't hear you guys. Sing

louder. And then they'd sing a little louder

for the next song. And then the next night, I'd

be like, guys, I can't hear you. You need to

sing. You've got to instruct. You've got to lead.

You've got to show them we sing as a family.

We worship as a family. And when we're a family

at church, we're worshiping together in the meeting.

We're singing. We're praying. We're participating.

How are you leading? That's that's just basic

leadership as an example to our children Singing

praying instructing reading all of those things

are basic Lead in that way if you're not you

are not being a biblical husband a biblical father

You are not pleasing the Lord plain and simple

Plain and simple. That's all there is to it There's

no other way to say it Are you leading in work?

Are you working? Are you a diligent worker? Or

are you just a complainer? You gotta go to work.

Now, I'm guilty here of complaining about the

people I work with. And I need to change in that

regard. But are we diligent in work? Are we diligent

to do what we're supposed to be doing? Or do

we just complain about work and complain about

everybody else? Lead in that way. Are you instructing

your children and your wife? Are they working

doing the things that they should be doing? Are

you instructing and leading and being an example

in that? Punctuality I have here. Is that really

important to be on time? I'm seriously asking

the question for you to consider that. That's

not just rhetorical here. I'm asking the question

to each and every one of you. Is it important

to be on time somewhere? I'm not just talking

about the church meeting. Is it important to

be on time? Husbands, are you leading in that?

I think it's very important for a number of reasons.

For one, I think it's rude to be late because

someone's expecting you at a certain time and

for you not to be there or for you to hold up

the show because you're not there is rude. That's

not. Is that Christ -like to be inconsiderate

of other people's time? Is it rude to interrupt

something coming in late? And we've all been

late on the occasion. But is that your normal

pattern of life? A disregard for everybody else's

time. Punctuality. I wrote down here some practical

things. Sunday morning lateness. Can it be avoided?

Yes it can, because we always start at the same

time. So you can get here on time. There's no

reason not to, right? I was talking to Amanda.

Saturday prep for Sunday morning. You go to bed

early so that you're not tired. You can get up

on time. Is the meeting of the church important

enough for that? To go to bed earlier on a Saturday

night to get up in the morning? Should be. Prepping

the kids you got their clothes laid out. You

got everything ready to go. You've done your

meal prep You don't not prepping for the Sunday

afternoon meal Sunday morning Running around

scatterbrain trying to figure out what we're

doing. Well, we got to run by the store, you

know What have you done there you've you've put

everything during the week as more important

than Preparation for Sunday morning. It's like

Sunday morning is just an afterthought. Oh man,

we gotta go to church today, I forgot. Oh, and

we're having a meal this week. Because we do

every week. Planning, preparation, punctuality.

Lead. Lead in that way. There's no excuse. Prayer,

singing, repentance. Put those three down here.

Lead are you leading as a repentant father and

husband? Do you apologize to your wife when you

when you sin when you felt your kids know? Hey,

I sinned against mom. I was upset with her. I

sinned against you. I was angry with you Are

you leading in repentance? That's how we lead

practically Everybody all of your kids know that

you're not perfect Right? I mean, you're not

hiding anything there. They see it. Your wife

knows that you're not perfect. How are you leading

them? Are you leading them in repentance? Humbling

yourself and asking forgiveness. You've got to

lead in that way. Finances. Okay? Husbands, you're

responsible for the finances in the home. Now

does that mean you have to be the one to pay

the bills? No, it doesn't. But if your wife pays

the bills, you better make sure there's money

there to pay the bills. Or you better make sure

that things aren't being overspent in certain

areas. Okay, it's not that you have to do everything.

We've said this before. You don't have to do

everything in the home But you're responsible

to see that everything is done. And so if there's

overspending being done, you've got to deal with

that. That's your responsibility. If it's you,

you better quit. If it's your wife, you better

deal with it. Babe, we can't spend this money.

She keeps spending it. Honey, we don't have the

money. She keeps spending it. What are you going

to do? You better deal with it. You better take

the card. You better take the debit card, the

credit card. You gotta do something. Because

you can't overspend. You're responsible to lead

her in those things. Deal with them. Leading

is not, man, we overspent again. We really gotta

get that under control. And the next month, boy,

it didn't get any better this month. We did the

same exact thing. That's not leadership. That's

failure. You have got to lead your home. How

are your spending habits? Are you leading your

wife in sleep? Is that an important thing? Are

you getting to bed when you need to? Are you

rising at a reasonable time? That's your responsibility.

Your kid's the same thing. What example are you

setting? Is it I sleep as much as I possibly

can and I still get my job done? No, that's not

how it works. If that's your mentality, go to

the ant, thou slugger. Consider her ways and

be wise. Get up. Get up at a reasonable time.

Get up and get your job done. Get your work around

the house taken care of. Spend time with your

wife. Spend time with the Lord. Spend time with

your children. Get out of your bed. Are you leading

in that way? Are you leading your wife in that

way? Does your wife get up at a decent time or

is it just whatever she feels like? Are you leading

your home? Are things being accomplished that

are supposed to be accomplished each day in your

home? If they're not, you're not leading well.

Don't know if I wrote this down or not, but just

yeah time management Are you stressed and hurried

and never feel like you never have enough time

in a day if that's how you feel You're not you're

not leading yourself. And if that's how your

wife feels you're not leading your wife Your

wife should not feel stressed and hurried and

there's never enough time in the day to accomplish

what needs to be accomplished If that's the case,

you failed. Because how much time do we have

in a day? Just enough. The Lord has given us

things to do in a day and enough time in the

day to accomplish everything that we're to accomplish.

And so if at the end of the day you say, I didn't

get done what I needed to, you haven't managed

your time well. Maybe you slept too much. Maybe

you daydream too much. Maybe you worried about

things that you shouldn't have been worrying

about. You men are to lead in this. You are to

lead your wives in this. Order your day appropriately.

You are responsible to lead your wife in her

emotions. Now, I understand that some men are

more emotional than women. I get that. And so

I'm not talking to you right now. If your wife

is a more emotional creature than you are, then

you better lead her in her emotions. She's not

to be led by her emotions and her feelings and

all of the threats and stresses in life. No.

You are to lead her and instruct her and encourage

her in that. We do not fear, hon. There's nothing

to fear. We're not going to live based on fear.

We're going to base our lives on trust in God.

We're walking by faith, not emotion. If it's

the other way around, if you men are more emotional

than your wives, get it under control. Deal with

it. Lead as you should. By showing her, I can

control my emotions. I'm not going to be led

by fear. I'm going to lead in a way that the

Lord has called me in trust and faith and walking

as God has called me to walk. That is how it's

done. There's no excuse. There's never an excuse.

Men, if your home is not in order, whose fault

is it? It's yours. If your wife is discontent,

it's your fault. You haven't done it. You have

failed. You are responsible to lead in every

area of her life, your life, and your children's

life. That is what Scripture commands of us as

men, as husbands, as fathers. There is no off

day for us. There's no off moment. We work continually.

Our work is never done. leading in a godly way.

If you find it difficult to lead, okay, again,

everybody's different, right? There are men out

there who are just natural leaders. They know

what it is to take charge. They're more than

willing to take charge, and they do it, and they

do it really well. Well, that's wonderful. Continue

on. If you're not that kind of a person, what

do you do? If you're more of a, I'd rather just

kind of hold back, lay back, and you know, I'm

happy my wife is willing to really get after

it. You have got to lead. You've got to step

up. You've got to deal with your inadequacies

of leadership and be a leader. It's not an option

not to be. It's not an option to follow your

wife's leadership. That's wrong. That's sinful.

That's unbiblical. That's not pleasing to the

Lord. You have to be the leader of the home.

So you have got to step up. You've got to be,

again, intentional in these things. Maybe you've

got to make a list each day. These are some things

I need to talk to my wife about These are some

things we talked about a couple weeks ago or

a couple months ago that we've never really resolved

We've been thinking about them and so I've got

a lead in this and so we can make some decisions

Whatever you have to do. That's what you do To

lead your wife Wives if you're more of the take

charge and leader type What do you have to do?

You have to pull it back You have to encourage

your husband, not nag him. Encourage him, help

him, right? Why was Eve given to Adam as a helper?

It's not a demeaning position. Wives, help your

husbands lead. Honey, we really need to make

a decision here. I know we talked about it. What

do we need to do here? Lead me in this. Help

him, encourage him. And when your wives are doing

that, say, yes, I will make that decision. I

will get it to you in the morning. I will have

a decision, whatever it is. You have got to take

charge. Lead your wives. Pray for him, encourage

him. Help him in all that you can. Don't usurp

his authority and think that things are going

to go great just because he won't lead. Encourage

him in his leadership. Thank him for it. When

it happens, encourage him in those ways. Do everything

that you can to help him. Men, step up. Be responsible.

Lead by example. Lead in all ways. I hope that

that is helpful. I hope that it gives us some

things to think about as husbands. I hope the

responsibility that rests upon us I have brought

home to you today. It is not a small matter that

we are called to as husbands. It is a huge deal.

It is a huge responsibility. We need the help

of the Lord in this. Ask for that help. Seek

Him. Spend time in prayer. Spend time in the

Word. So that you can lead your family. So that

you can lead your wife and your children in a

God -honoring way.