20260524 Discipline Sunday Sermon Tim Dickmann

So this morning we are going to deal with discipline,

the discipline of our children. So in the past,

last Sunday and I think the Sunday before, we

talked about discipline and how that word in

Ephesians is broad, that it covers instruction,

correction, and also deals with spanking, the

physical discipline of our children. So the word

discipline there in Ephesians is very broad It

includes all those those different things we

mentioned that And so this morning we're going

to talk about Discipline in the sense of spanking

our kids and what is involved in that? Where

do we get that from? Why do we think that's good?

Is it good? So again I want to emphasize here

Ephesians 6 for before we begin, looking at some

other passages. Ephesians 6, 4, Paul gives some

clear instruction there to the fathers. He says,

fathers, do not provoke your children to anger,

but bring them up in the discipline and instruction

of the Lord. And so again, when we deal with

spanking, I'm singling out you fathers. It's

your responsibility. This isn't mom's job, in

and of itself. You fathers are to take the lead.

It is your responsibility. I want us to understand

another thing here, and I don't know that I've

made this clear, and so I hope I have, but maybe

I haven't. When does this role begin in fathers?

When is it that you begin to lead and take the

role in your children's lives? At what age? The

moment they're born, all right? So every decision

that is made for that baby, that baby comes home

with you. Is it mom's decision when that baby

goes to bed? Is it mom's decision who holds the

baby? Is it mom's decision for all these other

things, what we do, where we go? No, it's not.

That's not mom's decision. That's dad's decision.

And so let me encourage you young parents, you

young men, lead your wives. You make the decisions

in your home. You decide where you're going,

what you're doing. I think I've said this, but

it is imperative that your children assimilate

into your life. In other words, all of a sudden

you have a baby, life doesn't just... dramatically

change we never go out we never do anything we

can't go here we can't do that we can't make

the meeting we can't do this because little johnny

little jimmy is a newborn no they go to the meeting

they go to your friend's house right you want

to go out to dinner you take the baby it's not

like you've got to be home taking care of that

baby that baby goes with you and fathers you

should lead in that you mothers It's a scary

thing having this newborn baby. Everything involved

in caring for them, you're just like, we just

got to keep this kid alive. I remember when we

had it, it was just like, we're responsible for

this, this tiny little thing here. We got to

keep him alive. It's scary. It was for us. But

you get get used to that and next thing, you

know, you're going out you're seeing your friends

You're still going out to dinner with people

you're doing this. You should be doing a lot

of the same things Your baby just becomes part

of your family. You don't all of a sudden change

fathers. You need to lead in that Along those

same lines and this is a side note We'll deal

with this as we go on here, but we'll just deal

with it when we get there So fathers you are

responsible. It is your responsibility To lead

your home to lead your family and that begins

when that baby comes home, you know when that

baby's born so Discipline Hebrews 12. Let's let's

read that real quick Hebrews chapter 12 and verse

Hebrews 12 · chapter mention

5 Beginning in verse 5 So this word discipline

is used throughout this passage. We'll start

in four. You have not yet resisted to the point

of shedding blood in your striving against sin,

and you have forgotten the exhortation which

is addressed to you as sons. And he quotes Proverbs

here. My son, do not regard lightly the discipline

of the Lord, nor faint when you are reproved

by him. For those whom the Lord loves he disciplines

and he scourges every son whom he receives or

whips It is for discipline that you endure God

deals with you as with sons for what son is there

whom his father does not discipline? But if you

are without discipline Of which all have become

partakers then you are illegitimate children

and not sons further furthermore we had earthly

fathers to discipline us and and we respected

them shall we not much rather be subject to the

father of spirits and live for they disciplined

us for a short time as seemed best to them but

he disciplines us for our good so that we may

share his holiness all discipline for the moment

seems not to be joyful but sorrowful yet to those

who have been trained by it afterwards it yields

the peace peaceful fruit of righteousness So

there the discipline that is all discipline is

three different words In verse 5 Verse 6 and

verse 9 there's three different words that are

used for discipline when it covers all all the

bases instruction teaching chastising spanking

Correcting instructing all of those are included

all throughout that passage That's how God deals

with us He disciplines us, He instructs us, He

chastens us, He teaches us. All those things

are what our Heavenly Father does for us and

we as fathers are to be doing to our children.

He quotes Proverbs, Proverbs 3. I think it's

Proverbs 3, 11, or 11 and 12, 12 and 13. Let's

look at some other Proverbs. Yeah, that was Proverbs

3, 11, and 12. So a few more Proverbs. Let's

read these. You don't have to turn to them. I

have them written down, and I'll just maybe comment

a little bit on each one here, dealing with the

discipline of our children. So Proverbs 13, 24.

He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he

who loves him disciplines him diligently. So

we see there what? We see the rod. What does

that mean? What is this rod? Let's understand

what the rod is. It can be translated as a staff,

a club, or a scepter. So the staff there has

reference to what the shepherd would keep with

him. To care for the sheep. To discipline the

sheep. To deal with the sheep. Okay? So the rod.

We have the word discipline. Correction is what

the King James says. Again, it has to do with

chastening, the act of disciplining, correcting,

restraining someone, usually with the goal of

fostering moral improvement or humility. Makes

a person regret a past behavior and strives to

do better. That's what chastening means. So that's

what we're talking about here. Chastening. We

see here what if you love your son, you're gonna

discipline him. You're gonna chase him. You're

gonna deal with him So we have a love and hate

there, right? We're gonna see that later on here.

I Know it's in that one. I thought it was a different

one. He who withholds his rod hates his son But

he who loves him disciplines him diligently So

let's get this this worldly nonsense out of our

mind that if we love our children, we're not

gonna spank them That's just worldly nonsense.

If you love your children, you're gonna spank

them. Just as the writer to the Hebrews tells

us, that's what God does to us because he loves

us. So let's be clear about that. If you do not

discipline your child, you hate him. It's as

simple as it can be said. It's as simple as it

can be said. You love yourself more than you

love your child. Because it's difficult. Discipline

is hard. It's not pleasant. That's pleasant for

anybody. But it's necessary. Proverbs 22, 6.

Train up a child in the way he should go, even

when he is old, he will not depart from it. Train.

Train up. Your children what does that word mean

train has to do with Training just as you would

think the example that was given in my concordance

was Putting the bit in the horse's mouth leading

him around training him to do what you want him

to do So that word train it has to do with training.

Have you ever trained a dog? You've got to train

your children You've got to teach them and require

of them certain things. It requires effort. It

requires discipline on your part. Discipline

in the sense of consistent, consistently doing

this, diligently doing this. Train up your child

in the way he should go, even when he is old

he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22, 15.

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child.

The rod of discipline will remove it far from

him. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of

a child. What do the Proverbs say about foolishness?

Nothing good. Alright? The way of the fool, foolishness,

where does it lead? Destruction. Destruction

and death is the way of the fool. That child

left to himself will find destruction, guaranteed.

It is your responsibility to lead him in the

way that he should go. To train him according

to the Word of God. To discipline him and to

instruct him. And the rod is what is necessary.

The rod of discipline will remove it far from

him. Proverbs 23, 13, and 14. Do not hold back

discipline from the child. Although you strike

him with the rod, he will not die. You shall

strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from

shield. It seems pretty clear. Spanking your

kids. Seems pretty clear. Pretty obvious according

to these Proverbs. Proverbs 19, 18. Chasing your

son. Discipline your son while there is hope

and do not desire his death. My inner linear

Bible translates it. Chasing your son for there

is hope and do not set your soul. on making him

die. So if you're not going to discipline your

son, you're desiring his death. The King James

says, Chasing thy son while there is hope, and

let not thy soul spare for his crime. Those are

three different ways that verse can be translated.

Again, the Hebrew is a difficult language, and

so I'm not going to sit here and tell you. But

clearly those who were Translating the King James

thought it had something to do here with being

influenced by the crying of your children in

The Hebrew that must have been part of it So

they're not gonna like it. They're gonna cry

and you're gonna sit there and think I should

stop this this poor little guy is just Breaking

my heart crying No Save his soul Don't Don't

let them continue. Don't be influenced by that.

Be influenced by what is right. Proverbs 29,

15, and 17. The rod and reproof give wisdom,

but a child who gets his own way brings shame

to his mother. Correct your son and he will give

you comfort. He will also delight your soul.

The rod and reproof give wisdom. So let's understand

that, okay? When we are disciplining our children,

there must be instruction. And there should be

instruction before that, so that they understand

why it is that we're giving them the spanking.

If they have no idea why they're getting the

spanking, you've not instructed them properly.

There must be instruction. Once there is instruction,

then the rod is necessary. Okay? But they go

hand in hand. There should be instruction before

so that they know what's expected. When they

fail to do those things or not to do those things

that they should be doing, then the rod is brought.

And then there's more instruction given. Here's

what happened. Here's why we're doing this. Do

you understand? And so on. Instruction. We talked

about instruction in weeks before. We should

be instructing our children in all things, always.

Okay. So those are a few verses. Probably the

bulk of them there. Dealing with spanking your

kids. This word, strike. you shall, where is

it here, in Proverbs 23, strike, beat, or smite,

again my lexicon says a single non -fatal blow.

So we're talking about a spanking. When does

this begin? Very, very, very early. You all,

you new parents out there, hopefully you're already

starting this because it should have already

begun. Before that baby can crawl, they can be

sitting on your lap and what are they doing?

Pulling on your necklace, yanking on your earrings,

swatting the plate of food while you're eating

dinner. All those things, right? None of those

things are acceptable. And instruction and discipline

is required. There's no reason that you can't

sit at the table and have a peaceful meal. Holding

your baby. If you can't, then you're not dealing

with them. You need to deal with them. So it

begins early. Begins early with a slap on the

hand. As they're reaching... Swat when they're

crawling and going to grab something No, don't

do that and they continue you spank them you

swat their hand and It continues like that for

the rest of their lives While they're home there

while you're raising them while you're training

It's an ongoing process That feels like it's

never -ending Okay, because it's continual You

have to be diligent in this So The rod and reproof

are necessary are essential it should be started

at a very early age I want to try to give some

practical help here. And before I do, let me

say this. I hope we're all clear of what these

passages that we've read are saying to us, that

the discipline of our children, the spanking

of our children is God's design, God's way. If

you disagree with that, then you disagree with

scripture. Can you think of any other scriptures

that deal with the discipline of our children

in a different way? Another way that we're to

correct them and to discipline them. Is there

another way given to us in scripture? I don't

know. I can't find it. What does the world say?

Oh, don't do that. So I want to be clear that

this is the way. This isn't one of many. Time

out. That's just Satan's design for the family.

Put them in time out. Where do you find that

in Scripture? Put them in time out so they can

scream, cry, get angry and frustrated even more

and then release them back into the family. Wickedness,

that's all that is. That's not dealing with your

children in a wise way. How about grounding?

We're going to ground our little kid. Or we're

going to take his toys away from him. Where do

you find that in scripture? Is that a good thing?

No, it's not. Did you deal with the problem?

No. Did you deal with the heart? No, you just

made him mad. Spank him. Discipline him. That

is God's method. You say, you'll hear it all

if you haven't already. Well, we tried. We tried

that. You know, we tried to spank our kids and

it just didn't work. What's my response to that?

Well, you mean to tell me that you were consistent,

diligent. Did it exactly how the Lord told you

to do it time and time and time again? And the

Lord's way failed you and so now instead of doing

what God has said You're gonna do it the way

of someone else your therapist your psychologist

whomever Worldly wisdom foolishness It's sin

is all it is. How about this one? Well, you know

I get angry and so I don't want to discipline

them in anger. Amen You don't want to discipline

them in anger. So you better deal with your own

sin so that you can deal with your child's sin.

Two sins don't make it right. Your sin, their

sin, and then where does that leave you? Disobeying

the Lord in all ways. There's no excuse. Deal

with your sin and deal with your child. So there's

one way that scripture has given us. One way,

deal with them according to God's word. So early,

it must be started early. Spanking, swat on the

hand as they get older, you're gonna be swatting

them on the leg. Maybe you're gonna get a spoon

as they get a little bit older and then you're

gonna have to graduate to something bigger, the

paddle, whatever it is. It's got to do what it's

meant to do. We did one swat, that's all that

was necessary. One good swat, they're done. They

don't want no part of it after that. But it's

got to inflict some pain. It's not just a love

tap. A little swat on the diaper, oh come on

now, quit that. You've accomplished nothing.

If that child isn't thinking twice about doing

the same thing that he just got done doing, you've

not dealt with him. If he goes right back to

it with no tears, you've not disciplined him.

You've not spanked him properly. Spank him. Save

his soul. One thing we're trying to do as we

discipline our children is to break their wills.

Do we all understand that? That's a good thing

to break their will. We want their will conform

to ours because we know what's best and we know

what's right. Think of our relationship with

God. Was your will ever broken? Jesus said, not

my will, but thine be done. Not what I want,

but what you want, Father. The same is true of

our children. Our will as parents is bent to

the will of the Father. Our children's will is

bent to our will. Break their will, their will

to disobey, their will to do all of these other

things. Break it. Oh, but they're self -esteem.

We don't want to hurt their self -esteem. We

don't want them... That's all worldly wisdom

and foolishness. Break their wills. Bend their

will to yours. Require obedience. Obedience,

right? That's what we want. What is obedience?

You say, tell little Johnny, hey, it's time to

get the living room cleaned up. We're gonna have

some family devotions, go get all your toys put

away, whatever. And he says no. Well, that's

pretty clear, that's a spanking. He said no,

well you're gonna get a spanking for that. So

then he goes and gets his toys and he's throwing

them in his room. He's all mad. But he's doing

what you said. You said go put your toys in your

room. And so he's doing it. Is he being obedient?

No. He needs another spanking because now what

have we got to deal with? His sinful attitude.

Obedience isn't just an outward act. Obedience

is an inward reality. You're going to do it and

you're going to do it with a good attitude. And

if you're not going to do it with a good attitude,

then we will apply the rod. And then you will

do it with a good attitude. We deal with the

heart It's not just an outward thing It's an

inward thing When you break their will and you

deal with the heart the outward falls right in

line Break their will deal with the heart a wrong

attitude and Perfect outward obedience is a spanking

It's not okay Again, let's think about our own

relationship with the Lord. Is that pleasing

to the Lord when the Lord tells us, do this,

and we do it, whining, crying, angry and frustrated?

Is that pleasing? Is that good? No, absolutely

not. We've not been obedient. The same is true

with our children. Deal with it. Break their

will. Bend it to your own. Deal with their attitude.

Expectations then. What do we expect in obedience?

Do we expect first time obedience? So the moment

we say, pick up your toys. Come here. Go get

your brother. Whatever. Whatever we tell him.

What is expected? Surely we've all seen it, right?

The little kid, he... Mom says, hey, go put your

toys away. What does he do? I'm gonna put two

more blocks on here. Two more blocks on there,

and then I'm gonna go do this. That's a spanking.

He didn't obey. He got his way. I got two more

blocks built before I obeyed Mom. won that battle

right go get your brother okay next thing you

know I mean it's ten minutes later they finally

made it to the door but they were on their way

they were on their way that's not obedience that's

again them exerting their will saying I'll do

what I want you're not gonna tell me what to

do that's a spanking obedience is a medium I

said this and you jumped. That's obedience. No

exceptions. No exceptions. If you make exceptions,

what happens? What have you done? You've trained

them that you usually have to obey. Most of the

time. except for the special occasions or the

really important ones. No. Immediate obedience

all the time, every time. It's not one, two,

three. What have you taught them there? Well,

you got to obey at three. Not right away. But

when I finally get to the point, right? Consistency

in this is key, parents. It's not once you become

frustrated that you require obedience I've been

telling you this for the last five minutes little

Johnny Now you're getting a spanking Now I'm

frustrated you're annoyed with me because I keep

saying the whole thing over and over again and

Now you're gonna get a spanking no Our frustration

and our anger often comes because we've not dealt

rightly with our children. We become frustrated

because we keep saying the same thing over and

over and over and they won't do it. Why should

they? You don't require it. They're not stupid.

Children are not stupid. They are intelligent.

They know exactly what they're doing. You have

got to deal with them. You've got to deal with

their attitude and their self -will. immediate

obedience and as soon as they don't obey it's

not hey you're getting a spanking in five ten

fifteen minutes when I get around to it it's

right then right there you drop what you're doing

you spank their butt and you send them on their

way to obey it's what is essential do you want

a home of peace and joy and happiness this is

the method This is it. Those kids will be happy

as can be because they know what's expected.

They'll fall right in line. Now it may take some

time. It's gonna be difficult. And there'll be

good days and bad days. I mean, let's be honest,

right? I mean, who? I mean, with my kids, I experienced

it. I experienced it at the hands of my mother

and my father. Good days and bad days. It's like

all of a sudden one day that the switch is flipped

and it's like I'm just gonna be bad today Mom's

gonna have to spank me all day and then dad's

gonna have to spank me when he gets home It's

like I don't understand it, but that's how it

happens. I Remember that day in my life It was

brutal. I Remember dealing with my own kids like

that sometimes it's terrible Generally speaking

though It creates a home of love, of joy, and

of peace, obedience, and expectations. I wrote

this down so I've just got to say it. If you're

chasing your kid, don't. Just don't. Don't even

go there. When you say, come here, they better

just hop to it. If you're chasing that kid around

the room to get him, you have failed in parenting,

and it's time to change. It's time to put an

end to that. I remember that happened to me one

time, but it was because we've been playing.

We've been playing some games, chasing the kids,

roughhousing, goofing around, and it was time

for them to listen now, you know, of course I'm

chasing them, they're running. And I remember

saying, it's time for whatever. And they took

off running. And I thought, well, that's what

we've been doing for the last 20 minutes. So

I said, hey, it's time to be serious now. We're

doing this. We're not playing games any longer.

When they looked at me and they're like, oh,

games are over, okay. But do you understand that

situation there? I didn't spank them for that

because we just got done doing that. But then

they had to be instructed. When game time is

over, it's immediate obedience. Yeah, we're horsing

around, we're chasing each other, I'm trying

to get you. But that's not life. That's game

time. If it's not game time and you're chasing

your kids around the house, you've got a problem.

You've not been instructing and discipline. So

have that expectation of complete, immediate

obedience. This is the same for mother and father.

I want to make sure we're clear on that. This

isn't just for dad. All day long, mom, you bear

the brunt of this. You're home with the kids

way more than dad is. You have got to do this.

We've already mentioned this, but mom and dad

need to be in agreement here on spanking the

kids. What it looks like, how it's done. What

is required? You must be together, walking in

unity here. That is essential. The kids don't

run roughshod over mom all day, and then when

dad gets home, now we're gonna discipline the

kids. No. It's all day long with mom. And when

dad gets home, you better have been good for

mom, because now dad's gonna deal with you. But

you have got to expect the same thing, and you

have got to discipline them accordingly. It is

imperative. It is imperative. Fathers, husbands,

you have got to instruct your wives in these

things. You've got to require, demand this. Sometimes

it's a lot harder for mothers. So be it. So it's

harder. You've got to do it. Nobody said it was

easy, but it's what's necessary. Walk together.

A couple other examples here that I want to give.

Training our children, okay? What does that mean

in your home? In our home, it meant we didn't

pick everything up. So... I picked up the valuable

things. I'm not going to leave my $10 ,000 vase

sitting on the coffee table once I've got a toddler

running around there so he can break it. That's

just foolish. But I got my remote sitting down

on the coffee table. I got the Kleenex box on

the coffee table. I've got all these books sitting

around. Things that kids aren't supposed to have.

At least not in my home. They're all right there.

And why? Why did I leave all those things out?

So that I could give instruction. So that when

they reach for the remote, I can say no, we don't

touch the remote. When they start pulling Kleenexes

out, I can say no. And I can give them a spanking.

And then I can sit there and watch. And what

do they do? If I'm not looking at it, Dad can't

see me touching it. Right? It's kind of funny,

but it's not. Again, it's that rebellious nature,

that rebellious heart coming out. I'm going to

get my way. So they go to the remote, they go

to the Kleenex box, they go to the books, they

go to the things, whatever you've said no to.

What do you do? Do you pick them up? No. My no.

You spank them. You say, hey, we're not doing

that. You may not touch that. You set them on

their way. Do you say, oh hey, don't touch that,

come get this over here. Come get your toy. No.

The toy's laying on the floor, they see it. They

want the remote. You've got to deal with their,

their will. What they want, bend it and break

it to your own. Spanking. It may be a big battle.

It may be a half -hour ordeal. I don't know.

Every kid's different. Maybe it's just one and

done. And then just every now and then you got

to remind them of it with a little spanking.

But when they get older is when that bears fruit.

Because now they're older and you can... It's

obvious. It's clear. We don't touch things that

are another other people's we don't break things

We don't throw things and when we do we discipline

that but it all begins at that young age So we're

not distracting them from the things. They're

not supposed to touch. We're spanking them and

teaching them obey obey It's important it all

begins there it all begins there Don't distract

them. Don't move things. You know, we never put

locks on our cabinets. Kids knew, don't get in

the cabinets. I think there was one drawer that

they were allowed to get into with all the Tupperware

in the cups. For whatever reason, kids love Tupperware.

So if you give them Tupperware, they're happy.

Tupperware is unbreakable. So be it. They can

be in the kitchen with mom. Mom was fine with

it. They can play with their Tupperware on the

floor there. Great whatever rules you you have

if that's an acceptable thing then great so be

it But we didn't get in all the cabinets. We

got into one that was it everything else was

a spanking I Think this is from a book to train

up your child. He says don't child proof your

home home proof your child Train your child to

live in your home and everybody else's home Without

destroying things without getting into things

Discipline them train them Giving in to your

children So they're nagging you they're whining

It's just continual You can't give in to your

children's nagging and they're whining so when

they're a little baby Right? They're going to

whine at you. They're going to want something.

You're going to tell them no and they're going

to start whining and crying. What are you going

to do? You're going to have to swat them. You're

going to have to give them some instruction.

Now that becomes a lot easier when you know for

sure they understand exactly what you're saying.

But that's not when it starts. It starts earlier.

You've got to deal with it whining is a sin folks

Whining is them telling you I don't like what

you're doing. I want my own way Deal with it

address it don't give in to it I Hesitate to

say this, but I feel as though I must And the

reason I hesitate is it's so rare. Reasonable

expectations. You've got to have reasonable expectations

for your kids, all right? That doesn't mean we

give them a pass, because that's what so many

people think. Oh, well, they're just so young,

and so I don't want to be unreasonable. You're

right. You don't want to be unreasonable. But

those kids can be held to a very high standard.

A lot higher than most of us think. And so I

say that as a warning. Be reasonable. Don't,

don't, you know. But make sure we're expecting

a lot. There's still a high standard. But don't

go crazy. And that's why I say I hesitate to

say that because so often that's not the problem.

It's very rare. that I've seen people with these

unreasonable expectations. But I have seen it.

And so that's why I say it. Because it can be

a danger. It just rarely is. Rarely is. So I

say that because I think that I should. But don't

take it too far. Don't go too far with it. Wrote

down here some excuses excuses not to discipline

our children So I mentioned one I just can't

control my anger Deal with your sin and and discipline

your children. We tried and it didn't work again

nonsense Deal with your sin and discipline your

children Well, they're tired How many times we

have to hear that all they're tired so that's

why they're acting like this Now they may be

tired But when you're two three and four year

old is tired and they're throwing a complete

fit It's still no excuse Even when that one year

old is throwing a complete fit when they're tired

What's the problem? Maybe it's you Maybe you

Should have put them to bed already Maybe you

should have been more responsible as a parent

or maybe you just haven't trained them. It's

not okay to throw a fit even if you aren't tired.

There are no excuses for disobedience. They're

tired, they're disappointed. We've heard all

those things. Oh, they're just so sad that they

didn't get this or that. Too bad. Life's full

of disappointment. They need to learn to control

their emotions and to control their temper at

a young age It doesn't happen all of a sudden

when they're 16 now all of a sudden I can control

myself No, it happens when they're young Teach

them to control their tempers to control Their

bodies it is it is essential How about these

I mean, these things are laughable. My kid has

disruptive behavior disorder. That's a real one,

folks. Disruptive behavior disorder. How about

obstinate defiant disorder? Right? There's another

one out there. Aggressive disorder. Oppositional

Defiant Disorder. Anxiety Disorder. Mood Disorder.

I mean, they go on and on. Separation Anxiety.

Oh, there's just separation anxiety. That's why

they're acting like this. Folks, those are all

just the lies of Satan. Those are excuses why

your children can be terrible. Do kids have mental

problems at times? Are there things that they

struggle with? Sure, no doubt. There's no doubt

that there's issues. Oh, he has ADHD, so he just

can't control himself. So much of that is just

utter nonsense. So much of that is laziness on

the part of the parents. So much of that is just

the world looking for excuses. Why? Their system

is okay. Well, all these kids have all these

problems. That's why we can't do this, that,

and the other. The reason the kids have the problems

is because they haven't been disciplined. They

haven't been taught. They haven't been trained.

They haven't been loved. Okay? That's all it

is. Mom and dad don't love them. They love themselves

more than their children. And it's easier to

label it and to medicate them than it is to deal

with the sin. That's what it amounts to in the

vast majority of the cases Don't give in to excuses

Don't give in to the laziness that is so easy

to creep in as parents Let me encourage you it

is a long battle With a me and Amanda there were

times where we would see we're really slacking

off It would be looking back. It's It's like

we would You'd go gung -ho right and you're just

really being diligent and you're on it and you're

disciplining the kids and things are going Well,

and then you kind of things are going well. So

what's your tendency? Maybe pull back a little

bit or you know, maybe you just don't notice

this or that or the other And next thing you

know, I remember telling her, boy, we got to

crack down. So -and -so is really pushing us

here. We've got to deal with him. We've really

slacked off here. It happens. And then you've

got to be like gung -ho all over again. Back

at it. Diligent. Consistent. That's the key.

Because as soon as you do, slack off. They know

it. And they're like, oh, mom and dad haven't

been getting on to us for this. Let's go a little

further. Again, that's what they do. That's the

way it is. Be diligent. Be consistent in your

discipline and your expectations. I wrote down

here, choosing your battles. You know. Your children

will test you at the worst times possible. And

so I just want I just want to throw this out

there that there are times where you may say

I'm not going to deal with this here. Not going

to deal with this in the middle of the grocery

store. But it better not be a big deal. Because

you've got to deal with it no matter where it

is. If you deal with it at home, generally speaking,

when you're out in public, you're not going to

have that big of a problem. And maybe it's an

issue where you can say, I'm not going to deal

with it right now, but when we get home we're

going to deal with it. Because maybe it's going

to be a big deal. But be wise in where you are

and what you do. Okay, and I'm not saying don't

spank your kids in public. I'm not saying that

at all I spank them out in the grocery store

plenty Because that's what was required But if

you've got to deal with them, and it's going

to be a huge ordeal Then maybe you need to get

out of the grocery store and take them home and

really deal with them But don't be afraid of

that But if you're consistent at home when you

go out a lot of times. It's not that big a deal

the kids know if I test mom I'm going to get

the same treatment I got at home and it's not

going to be favorable. But I remember I remember

my own life testing mom when we were out and

about. And I don't know if we left early what

we were doing, but I remember knowing when we

left it was a big deal. And I'm getting it. When

we get home and I did. And I got it again when

dad got home. So be mindful of that. If it's

going to be a big ordeal, you may need to get

out of there and go deal with it. But choosing

your battles, what do I mean by that? I mean,

just be mindful of your kids, where they're at,

and the situation. You don't have to make a huge

deal out of everything. Sometimes you do, those

certain things. But just be mindful of the battles

that you pick sometimes because you should know

If we go down this road, this is going to be

a big ordeal for this kid. Every time we've dealt

with this, it's been a big battle. Am I ready

for it? Is it necessary? If it is, then you better

go full on. But don't be silly. Don't be foolish

in dealing with your children. Know your children.

I'll give this example also, not in that regard,

but just in knowing your children. Caleb was

a ball of energy and never wanted to leave, no

matter where we were. He was playing with his

cousins, his friends, and every time we left,

it was a huge ordeal. I had to spank him just

about every time and I was like, I don't know

what to do. But I had to spank him because I'd

say it's time to go when he'd throw a fit. then

one day I said to him five minutes early I said

hey we got to leave in a few minutes and he said

okay he went and played his heart out I guess

for the next few minutes and I said hey it's

time to go and he said all right and off we went

and I thought well that was the greatest thing

ever right there we're just going I don't even

have spanking and from then on I always said

hey we got to leave in a few minutes And he was

just like, it's just like it allowed his mind

to wrap around the fact that the playing was

gonna end. But know your children and deal with

them accordingly. Know what to do, what not to

do. And if you can do those things to make life

enjoyable and easy with them, then fine. There's

nothing wrong with that. Again, we're not just

giving into them. I'm not saying that. I hope

we understand that. But know your children. Know

what sets them off. Know those things that are

hard for them. And try to be mindful of that

as we deal with them, as we discipline them.

We don't just want to, you know, make their lives

miserable for no reason. We want to teach them

and train them in a way that is pleasing to the

Lord. So know them. It goes without saying, never

deal with them in anger. Alright? Don't deal

with your children in anger. If that means you've

got to sit down yourself for a couple minutes

and gather yourself together, then so be it.

Deal with your own issues and then deal with

your children. But if you're angry and fuming,

it's not a good time to spank them. Send them

to their room. Say, I'm going to come get you

in a few minutes and we're going to deal with

this. Deal with your own sin. Settle down. Get

your mind right. and deal with them in the way

that you should in love and concern in a right

way. A warning then to you grandparents, to myself,

to you aunts and uncles. Don't hinder. Don't

hinder these parents. Oh, he doesn't really need

a spanking. He didn't mean that. Oh, he's fine.

Don't worry about that. I know he told you no,

but come on. We're at grandma and grandpa's house.

Don't be that. Don't be like that. That's how

my dad always was. Oh, he's fine, Tim. Just kidding.

But don't be like that. Encourage these new parents.

Encourage your brothers and sisters to deal with

their children in a good way. It's a good thing.

Help them in that Don't be a hindrance to them

All right Encourage them. It's difficult being

parents guys. It's a hard thing. It's a it's

a joy. It's a blessing It's wonderful, but it's

hard. It's hard work and so Press on it be diligent

Ask for counsel. I don't know if I said this

maybe I didn't say we don't get counsel from

the world If you're getting counsel on how to

deal with your newborns, how to deal with your

children from Facebook and Instagram and TikTok

and your neighbor. No, we don't go there. Dave

said something. Dave just said this was that

Wednesday or the Wednesday before he just said

something. It wasn't in the context of parenting,

but it was in the context of counseling. Some

other things we don't go to the world. If that's

where you're going. Get out of there. Alright?

We go to the Word of God. We go to those older

and wiser and experienced in the church. That's

where we receive our counsel and our instruction.

And to those of us who are giving counsel and

instruction, you better be giving it according

to the Word and not according to the world's

philosophies. Counsel comes from God. So, let's

be clear on that. Be clear on that. Eh.