20260628 Biblical Childhood Sunday Sermon Tim Dickmann

So this is the last message here that I'm going

to be bringing on the family. And so this morning,

we're going to talk specifically about children

again, but in a different way. So in Ephesians

6, Paul gives some specific instruction to children.

So in Ephesians 6, he says, Children, obey your

parents and the Lord, for this is right. Honor

your father and mother, which is the first commandment

with a promise, so that it may be well with you

and that you may live long on the earth. He says

the same thing here in Colossians 3. In Colossians

Colossians 3:20

3, verse 20, dealing with the family again, he

says, Children, be obedient to your parents in

all things, for this is well -pleasing to the

Lord. So, seems pretty clear, right? Children,

obey your parents. Who's he speaking to? When

he says children here, who's he talking about?

Is it all children? Is it little bitty kids?

Is it grown up kids? Well, I think we can apply

it to all children. Specifically, all the children,

I guess I would say, in the home. And so I think

Paul's instruction here is not just for little

ones, but teenagers still living in the home.

Really, I would say all those who are still under

their parents' authority. Now there comes a time,

right, where we're no longer under the authority

of our parents. I think we talked about that

when we talked about getting married, moving

out, cleaving unto your wife. You've left that

authority structure and you've begun your own.

We could also say perhaps there's a time there

where you move out, you're on your own. And so

again, you've left that authority. But certainly

while you're in the home, you're under the authority

of your parents. And so Paul gives clear instruction

here to obey. This is also should be taken an

admonition to the parents as well, right? What

does this say to the parents? You should expect

obedience. That should be an expectation. That

should be required. And again, that begins, as

we said, with the training, nurture, discipline

of our children. That begins when they're teeny

tiny, when they're crawling around, and then

as they begin to walk and so on. It begins then,

the expectation, and it continues. This is a

command. And so for those children who are converted,

this is a command from the Lord to obey. Do you

want to please the Lord? Obey your parents. It's

real simple. To be under the authority of your

parents is a safe place. It's a good place. In

a Christian home. And so to put yourself willingly.

Under that authority is a good thing. It's pleasing

to the Lord and it's safe for you. So, a clear

command there. How serious is this command? Have

you ever thought about that? Children, obey your

parents. Are we given any other instruction in

the Bible about obedient or disobedient children?

Well, we are. So let's read a couple of these

passages. The first one here is in Proverbs.

Proverbs 30, verse 17. The seriousness of obedience.

Proverbs 30:17

The eye that mocks a father and scorns a mother,

the ravens of the valley will pick it out and

the young eagles will eat it. Seems like some

serious things there. Those who would scorn their

father and their mother. And I think that scorning,

Would include disobedience. We have in Deuteronomy.

Deuteronomy 21. 18 through 21. If any man has

a stubborn and rebellious son. Who will not obey

his father and his mother. And when they chastise

him. He will not even listen to them. Then his

father and mother shall seize him and bring him

out to the elders of the city at the gateway

of his hometown. They shall say to the elders

of his city, this son of ours is stubborn and

rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton

and a drunkard. Then all the men of his city

shall stone him to death. So you shall remove

the evil from your midst and all Israel will

hear of it and fear. That's a serious thing,

right? It's a serious thing back in the day.

Seemed to be a grown man, or at least older for

sure. But there was obedience expected. And then

in Romans, this is mentioned again. Now I've

always just thought, how could this be? But in

Romans 1, 29 and 30. Paul says, now this is,

we'll begin in 28, and just as they did not see

fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them

over to a depraved mind to do those things which

are not proper, being filled with all unrighteousness,

wickedness, greed, evil, full of envy, murder,

strife, deceit, malice. They are gossips, slanderers,

haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful.

inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without

understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful,

and so on. I mean, that's a terrible list of

things. And here this disobedience to parents

is thrown in there. Do we ever think of it in

such a serious way? Murder, slander, evil, turning

their backs on God, all those things that Paul

mentions there. And then he throws in disobedient

to parents. So it's a serious thing. It's not

just a light matter that we're talking about

here when we're talking about being obedient

to parents. God expects it. God requires it.

And as parents, we should require it. We should

expect it. If you don't, then you're failing.

You're failing as a parent. You're not doing

what God's called you to do. If you're not obeying

as a child, you're in clear rebellion. Not only

against your parents, but you're in rebellion

against God. You have set yourself up as an authority

rather than who God has put as an authority over

you. So, it's a serious matter. It is a sin of

rebellion. That seems to be the big issue there

in all of those things is they were rebellious.

They'll not have anything. They'll not have any

other rule over them. They will only rule over

themselves. And of course, that was the sin of

Israel, right? They were a rebellious and stiff

-necked people. Would not submit to God. And

so, the same as a disobedient child. So, what

is obedience? We've talked about this already

when we talk about what we should expect as parents

of our children. Obedience is not simply an outward

act. It is that. That's part of it. But we also

said true obedience comes from the heart. It's

a desire to do what's right. It is doing what

we're told with a good attitude. With a submissive

attitude. With a heart to obey. And so, you children,

that's what obedience is. If you want to please

the Lord, If you want to do what is commanded

here and obey your parents, then you must do

it with a good heart, with a good attitude, with

a desire to submit to them. That's true obedience.

Now, does that mean if you don't have the heart,

then you shouldn't listen to them? No, you should

still listen. You should still do those things,

but know that that's not the right way. That's

not what's pleasing to the Lord. The Lord expects,

demands this true obedience from the heart with

a good attitude. And so parents, again, that's

what should be expected. It's not okay for you

to tell your kids to do something and for them

to go and do it kicking and screaming with no

consequences. That requires discipline. Requires

a spanking, whatever. So know that. Again, obedience

is commanded and required by God, and it should

be required by you as well. We talked about all

that. So, I mentioned already, when does this

end? When you're outside the home, when you're

outside the authority of your parents. We also

saw here in these other passages that these were

old, there seems to be, again, Some requirement

of older children. We're not talking about little

kids. We're not just talking about babies. And

so, you're under your parents' authority. You

should obey. That should be expected of both

parents. And you should willingly obey as an

older person living under the authority of your

parents. I mentioned this already, but just because

you reach a certain age, just because you're

18 and you're legal, that doesn't mean you no

longer have to obey your parents while you're

under their authority. Again, what is that? That's

just rebellion. That's just you doing your own

thing. You want to live your own life. That's

wickedness. That's rebellion. That's sin. Why?

Why is this a good thing? I wrote down a couple

things here. Why does God command or require

this? These are in no order of importance. But

it teaches submission. It teaches our children

to submit to authority. That is a good thing.

That they understand they are under authority.

There is someone above me. I am not top dog.

I am underneath this authority. We as parents,

we should model that. That whole idea of being

under authority. Whose authority are we under?

We submit to God, right? We are submitting to

God. He is our authority. And we should reflect

that. We should show that as we live in our home,

as we do these different things, our children

should see. Dad does what he does. Mom does what

she does because someone, God, has told them

to do it this way. They're not just doing it

because this is what they want to do. They're

doing these things because God requires it of

them. And so they're submitted to this authority.

And that's why they think I should submit to

their authority because this is the order that

God has placed. And so we should demonstrate

that in our own lives as parents. That we're

not our own authority. We are under the authority

of God. The authority of Christ. So they should

see that in us. And so it's good for them to

see it. It's good for them to know these things

as they move on in life. That they are able and

willing to submit themselves to the authority

in the home. And then the authority as they move

out into the world. Again, there is authority

in the world. You have laws. You have rules.

You have bosses. And all of these other things.

If you never learn to submit to that authority,

you're going to have a hard way to go. It's going

to be a difficult life for you. And so we as

parents should be teaching that at home and preparing

them to go out into the world in that way. This

begins, again, at an early age. But one thing,

one reason why this authority is good is it should

teach our children, and we should be instructing

them, that we do this, we expect this, because

we love them. This is a loving thing. So they

should know, Mom and Dad make these rules. Mom

and Dad tell me to do these things. Not just

to be hard. Not just to make my life miserable,

but because it's what mom and dad think is best.

As a child, if that is not how you view your

parents, then you are viewing them incorrectly.

Now, obviously, we're talking here in a Christian

home, right? If we're out in the world and we've

got these wicked, evil parents, then yes, they

do things just to be mean. No doubt. But in a

godly Christian home, when you are in that home,

you should have the understanding that mom and

dad do these things. Mom and dad require these

things because they love me. Are mom and dad

always right? No, they make mistakes. But it's

not they're doing these things because they hate

you, because they want to cramp your style. keep

you from having fun, and all these other ideas

that come into our heads. Even if mom and dad

are wrong, what's your response? Obedience. It's

not okay for you to decide mom and dad are wrong,

so I'm not obeying that one. That's not obedience.

That's not honoring to God. So, Your children

should know why you do what you do. For their

love, because of your concern for them, your

desire for their good. That should be evident.

And you should show that and explain that. I

remember telling my kids that. I know you don't

enjoy this. I know this isn't what you want.

I know you'd rather do this. But we're not doing

that. I think this is best. And they can hopefully

receive that and continue on in obedience and

love. But that's the type of relationship we

want to have with our children, that they know

we do these things for their good. Again, when

they're young, I don't know if I said this ever,

but when they're young, they don't need an explanation

for everything. You know, that two -year -old

running around doesn't need to know why he can't

do what you tell him not to do. But as they grow

up and they become reasoning and they're like,

why? Why is this, Dad? Why are you saying this?

There's nothing wrong with a conversation. Well,

this is why, buddy. This is what I think. This

is why we're doing that. He can receive it or

not, but at least he knows, hey, Dad has my good

in mind. Dad loves me. I can talk to Dad about

these things. So that's a good and a healthy

way. To develop a relationship with your children.

Explaining those things. When it's appropriate.

When the time comes. At a good age. Along those

same lines. Let me say this. I don't know if

I said this or not. But I thought of it. A couple

of different times. As parents. Our desire, I

know we talked about relationship, our desire

is to foster a good and healthy relationship

with our children, to be able to communicate

with them, for them to share their concerns with

us, and to be open and honest with us. And this

is one way that we do that, is explaining to

them, I understand your frustrations, I understand

what you don't like here, and that's, I understand

that, but it's not, we're still going on here.

Again, that helps with relationship. But what

we want as parents, what we want to foster in

our children is when they do move out, when they

are gone, we still want that type of relationship

with our children. That we can go to them. They

can come to us. We can still have open lines

of communication. We can still speak into their

lives. Say, why are you doing this? What's going

on here? Why did you make this decision? This

doesn't seem very good. It doesn't seem wise.

It doesn't seem profitable. What's going on?

This all begins early on. And so foster that

relationship so that as they move out, as they're

no longer under your authority, you still have

opportunity to speak to them. And them knowing

they can come to you for any advice and any help

and any concern that they may have. So, obedience

is expected by God, and it's good for our children.

It's right. Along these same lines, obedience

should not just be expected in your home, but

your children should be expected to obey all

those that are in authority. So this is a separate

issue here, but when you leave your children

with somebody, You should be giving them all

the authority to deal with your children. Otherwise,

why are you putting them in their care? If you

don't trust them to care for your child, why

do you leave them with them? So when you drop

them off at grandma and grandpa's, do grandma

and grandpa know they can spank them? Do grandma

and grandpa know they've got rules and kids are

expected to obey grandma and grandpa's rules

just like they're expected to obey your rules?

If that's not something that you and your parents

have talked about, and if they don't know, that's

not a good situation. Grandma and Grandpa should

know. They trust us enough to care for this child,

and we're going to care for him just like he's

ours. Same way we cared for you, we're going

to care for this grandchild. So there should

be that. Type of expectation. That you are going

to care for that child. As if he's your own.

In love. And discipline. When necessary. Because

discipline is love. So. Again that teaches our

children. To obey all those in authority. And

you put them in their authority. And they should

obey. Alright. The other part of this here is.

He says here. What's the next thing that he says?

He quotes here. Honor your father and mother.

What does that mean? What does this word honor

mean? Honor is to love, to regard highly, to

show a spirit of respect and consideration. It

also has to do with reverence. And so it is different

than obedience. And when I think of honoring

my father and mother, again, this is something

that hopefully begins as they grow older, while

they're in the home. But this is something that

continues on for the rest of your life. You should

be honoring your father and mother. So all of

us are children. Some of us don't have our parents

with us anymore. But even though I'm outside

of my father's authority, I am no longer in his

home, and I have my own family and all of that,

I am still expected, God still expects me to

honor my father and mother, to respect them,

to love them. It's a difficult thing when they're

unbelievers. And so I want to say a few words

about that. It doesn't mean that we no longer

have to honor our parents if our parents are

unbelievers. But it is a different relationship

there. There still is a need to honor them. And

as we honor them, as we show them respect and

love and so on, Hopefully, we are showing them

the love of Christ, how Christ has loved us.

And we're loving you because Christ loves us.

Christ commands us to love you and to honor you,

to show you respect. It is a different relationship,

though. I'm not going to go to an unconverted

parent and ask for biblical godly counsel, right?

That would be silly. That doesn't mean I can't

go to them and ask counsel, right? I remember

Bob Jennings talking about his dad, that his

dad was an unbeliever, but he could go to him

and he could ask him counsel. And he did. Bob

said he had some good counsel for him when he

went to him. Again, it was, I forget what exactly

it was that Bob had been talking about, but he

went to his dad and said, what do you think about

this? And his dad gave him good counsel. Again,

his dad loved him. He wanted what was best for

him. And he gave him good advice, good counsel.

And so we can still show our parents honor and

respect in that way, even if they are unconverted.

It's just not as easy, necessarily. And you have

to weigh it a little bit more. But we can show

in that way, and it's a good thing. It's a good

thing to show honor in that way. So honor our

mother and father throughout our lives. What

are a couple of ways here that I wrote down how

we can do this, how we can honor them? By listening

to them and hearing them. Surely, we've all experienced

mom and dad saying things as we've had conversations,

giving their opinion. Listen to them. Hear what

they have to say. Don't be dismissive of them.

Oh, you've got nothing to say. You're an old

fuddy -duddy. You're living back in the Stone

Age. Or whatever. Don't be dismissive. Listen.

Hear. Consider what they've got to say. That's

honoring them. Showing respect in that way. Asking

for counsel. That's another way that we show

honor and respect for our parents. Asking counsel.

Asking what they think about a certain decision

we're trying to make. So on. That's a way that

we can show honor and respect. That we can show

them that we care for them and we value them.

I already mentioned unconverted people there.

Having an attitude of respect. That's important.

That's vital. If you're going to honor your mother

and father, you have got to show an attitude

of respect. You must have an attitude of respect

for them. How about even thankfulness towards

them for all that they've done for you? Your

whole upbringing. The love, the care, the concern

that they've showed you. your father and mother

also involves not holding a grudge against ways

that they failed you. I know that I have failed

my children. I know that I have not been a perfect

father. I know that my father was not perfect.

But I have forgiven him for all of those things.

I know that he didn't do anything out of malice

or anything else. I know he loved me. He cared

for me. provided for me, all of those things.

And so to hold on to any grudge, any bitterness,

is not showing honor and love for your parents.

So forgiving them, moving on, honoring them in

that way. Thinking and assuming the best of them.

I guess the flip side of that would be not being

degrading and looking down upon them. So these

are a few ways where we can honor our parents,

where we can show them love and respect in a

way that is honoring unto the Lord. I think this

honoring also includes physical help for our

parents. If you remember, we read this a few

weeks ago, but in Timothy here, 1 Timothy 5,

5 -3, it's the same word. It says, Honor widows

who are widows indeed. And then he goes on to

talk about widows. And the honor there has to

do with caring for them physically, taking care

of them. And it's that same word that's used

here. It includes that. And so I think there's

also a responsibility in that regard in honoring

our parents. Another passage here is in Mark

that I wanted to read here. Mark 7, 9. So Jesus

here is rebuking the Pharisees. He says in 6

and 7, They honor me with their lips, but their

heart is far from me. He calls them hypocrites

earlier. But in vain do they worship me, teaching

as doctrines the precepts of men, neglecting

the commandments of God you hold to the traditions

of men. Then he says, You are experts at setting

aside the commandment of God in order to keep

your tradition. For Moses said, honor your father

and your mother, and he who speaks evil of father

or mother is to be put to death. But you say,

if a man says to his father or his mother, whatever

I have that would help you is corbel. That is

to say, given to God, you no longer permit him

to do anything for his father and his mother,

thus invalidating the word of God by your traditions,

which you have handed down, and you do many things

such as that. And so Jesus is telling them. Moses

said, honor your father and mother. And part

of that is caring for them. But the Pharisees

said, if you make this vow that all that you

have is given to God, then you no longer have

to help your parents. You don't have to give

it to God, but it's given to God. I'm going to

keep it and give it to God. But again, both sides

could be there, that you would give it to God

and then you didn't have to help your parents.

Or you could say it's devoted to God, and then

you didn't have to give it to your parents, but

you could use it however. And so Jesus there

is saying, you totally dishonor God by neglecting

his commandments to honor your father and your

mother. So there again, there seems to be, clearly

from Jesus' standpoint, a responsibility on the

part of children to care for their father and

mother. That is one way that we honor them. As

they grow older, as they need help, maybe it's

financial, work around the house, whatever it

is, we have a responsibility to honor them and

to help them in those ways. And so that is part

of this honoring our father and mother is making

sure that they are cared for, making sure that

their needs are met. All right. want to encourage

all of you children that are still at home to

be content where you are. Don't be desiring to

just get out there, to be on your own, to do

your own thing. Be content where the Lord has

put you. Be content under the authority of your

parents. It's a safe place. It's a good place.

It's a place of love and care. And part of the

Christian life is a life of contentment. So if

you're a believer and you're at home, be content.

Don't be just chomping at the bit to get out

and be on your own. Obviously, if the Lord leads,

so be it. But don't just desire to get out just

to get out. Be content where the Lord has you.

If you're unconverted, there's no better place

than the safety of your home, where you have

rules, where you have responsibility, where mom

and dad love you, where you're cared for. It's

a good place to be. It's a safe place to be.

It's a God -ordained place to be. So be content

there. And then along these same lines, I was

thinking of singleness. So children grow up.

Maybe they're still home and they're single.

Maybe they move out finally. Maybe not finally,

but they move out, you know, whatever. Maybe

they go to college. Maybe they just, you know,

think it's time to have a place of their own

and so be it. A bad place to be single. Alright,

and so I want to encourage all of you who are

single to be content where the Lord has you.

That that is also a good place to be. There's

nothing wrong with it. I also want to encourage

you to use that as Paul said. 1 Corinthians 7.

Should we read it? 1 Corinthians 7. But I want

you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried

is concerned about the things of the Lord, how

he may please the Lord. But one who is married

is concerned about the things of the world, how

he may please his wife, and his interests are

divided. The woman who is unmarried and the virgin

is concerned about the things of the Lord, that

she may be holy both in body and spirit. But

one who is married is concerned about the things

of the world, how she may please her husband.

It goes on then. What is Paul's point in all

of that? Neither one is fine. But he says, use

your singleness for good. Use your singleness

to serve the Lord. Devote yourself to the Lord.

While you're able to. Because there will come

a time where you won't have that type of freedom.

You won't be able to do what you're able to do

as a single person. And so be content where the

Lord has you and pursue Him. Minister to the

church. Minister to the needs of the needy. Minister

to the lost. Be able to devote more of your time

in the Word and in prayer. And so I just want

to encourage you to be content. That doesn't

mean you can't pray for a spouse and desire a

spouse and ask the Lord to bring you a spouse.

But use this time for good in your own life and

to minister to the church and also in preparation

for a wife or a husband. That you would be ready

when the time comes when the Lord would give

a spouse to you. Maybe I don't know if I need

to say this or not, but I will. Singleness is

not a lesser thing than the married couples.

So it's not like you have this hierarchy of,

you know, the married couples are really godly

folks. And then you got these singles down here

that never really figured it out. And the Lord

hasn't blessed or any of that nonsense. We all

are valuable to the church, to one another. to

the body, and obviously in the eyes of the Lord.

And so singleness is not a lesser calling than

marriage. I mean, you can look throughout church

history. I was just thinking about it. The Lord

has used single people abundantly. I was reminded

of Gladys Aylward and all of the work that she

did in China. I'm reading about Amy Carmichael

and all that she did in India. I've already mentioned

him, but Bruce Olson, he was planned on being

married at one point, but his fiance died, but

he never was married and was used mightily by

God there in South America. And so singleness

is not this lesser. lesser thing where you can't

be used by God and you can't minister to the

church and all of these other things. It's a

great blessing as the Lord has given it to you.

So use it and be encouraged in it. Be content

in it and wait on the Lord if you desire a spouse.

But use your time wisely. Use your time for good.

For you really young people who are still single,

use this time for growth. For maturity. Develop

good habits. Good responsible habits. Develop

a hard work ethic. Develop patterns now. That

will pay dividends when you do get married. Or

if you do get married. But will also be beneficial

just in life. And so use your singleness now

for good. Be content where the Lord has you.

And minister to the church. To your family. To

the community. However the Lord would burden

you. In that way. Well I guess that's it. That's

all I've got.