The Way of Jesus 5.0

Church family, we are gathered here this morning, and I'm gathered here

with my wonderful friend, Milani, and most of you'll know Milani,

but if you don't, everyone, this is Milani Co. And, yes, give a round

applause, make you feel welcome

because, this is not

necessarily an easy, natural or comfortable space for Milani to occupy.

And so I am very grateful for her willingness, to join me this morning.

In these super fun waters that we're about to navigate and negotiate.

And I was just pondering during worship,

one of the, interesting

realities of doing anything in this kind of context.

But I think particularly with preaching, sharing God's word, that kind of

thing, it's quite a vulnerable space.

And one of the reasons is that despite how well one prepares.

How something is received is largely out of our control.

And so we come and we bring our prayed through

prepared best.

But how ultimately

it lands and how it is received is out of our hands once it's offered up.

And there, it can be a comfort in that, but they can also be a little bit of a.

Oh, I'll wait in that because as I was sharing with Mey this morning,

it never ceases to amaze me what people hear from what is said.

And the both, from both ends of

the spectr like sometimes

I am utterly stunned that the revelation people go, wow, you got that profound

revelation from, from what I shared.

That's amazing.

All the way to the other end of the spectrum of, you know, I. I do not

know how you heard that, though.

I did not in terms of deeply offended or

whatever.

So, that then

segues into our topic for this morning, which is continuing our

theme, uncovering the way of Jesus.

But what we are specifically Melania and I are gonna have a conversation

about in the presence of you good people, is around the idea of

control and,

. The way

of control versus the way of Jesus.

So these are the waters that we are stepping into right now.

And so

before I, proceed,

how about we pray for Father

God, we, submit this

time that we have to gather around your word and your truth.

Your heart, Lord.

We submit it into your hands and, we ask for your will to be done in this place.

Lord, pray for Melania and myself that we would speak only what is

helpful and that we entrust that you will fill our words with your

life, your spirit, your conviction.

Your comfort, your counsel, Lord, whatever is needed, to minister to the hearts

of the people who are here this morning.

And Lord, we do, we pray for each heart.

We pray for good soil.

We pray for willing

spirits.

Lord, we pray for, a humble, vulnerability,

Lord, to permeate this space this morning.

A

willingness, to receive

your truth, even if it might be hard, difficult, scary, whatever it might be.

Because Lord, we trust you.

You are for us.

You are with us, and if you reveal things to us, it is ultimately only for our good.

And so Lord, help us to rest in that space this morning.

Give us eyes to see, ears to hear, and willing spirits to respond.

Amen.

Amen.

Oh, all right.

So big idea this morning, church family.

And if you first time here, if you're just tuning in, you can

catch up on this series by, um.

Listening to the podcasts of them all, but our big idea for this morning, I've just

got new glasses and it's very specific.

The distance that I can operate from now, it's quite annoying.

My previous ones had a bit of grace, but these ones, if it's not

just right here, it's all fuzz.

All right.

Probably TMI there,

sorry, people.

So big idea

this morning.

The way of control.

Is rooted in self-trust, self will self rule.

The way of Jesus, however, is the way of surrender self-control

by the spirit and trust in the father's goodness, which I think

Luke really, shared well

on this morning already.

And one way, the way of control is the way actually leads to relational death.

Which we'll come to talk about a bit.

And the other is the way that leads to life and peace.

And so let me present to you this morning by way of greasing the wheel

and preparing our hearts, tilling the soil, all of those good things.

Where in your life do you need to be in control despite.

You know, the persona that you might try to project with the world around

you of No, I'm not a controlling person, you know, I'm just a chilled out dude.

No, no, no.

Because we all have places and spaces where we have this need to be in control.

Some of us are just more obvious about it than others.

So perhaps your finances, perhaps your schedule, your environment, your

home, your appearance, how others

perceive you.

Perhaps the

future.

You have that sense.

I need to be in control of what's coming next.

Maybe other people.

Parents are classic

for this, people's

choices, their behavior.

Where for you might you have this sense, I need to be in control.

And so let me throw this statement out there for your consideration.

Where you have to have control the most will reveal where you trust God the least.

Ponder that one where you are not trusting God.

You are going to be vulnerable or perhaps even giving over to walking in ways that

are ultimately wide and destructive.

So let me just loop back to a passage we've been referring

to a lot through this series.

Proverbs 1412.

There's a way that seems right, but in the end it leads to death.

And so let me just talk about that for a moment.

What are we, what does the Bible actually mean by death?

Right?

Because we.

In our very, I guess, natural mind, we just go to death as, oh, that's that

place where you stop breathing and your brain stops functioning, right?

But that's not what the Bible means predominantly means

when it's talking about death.

And that's really not what this passage means.

Okay?

Because clearly we know we don't immediately, you know, have our

heart stop beating when we operate outside of the ways of Jesus.

So what scripture, let's just reign that word a little

bit better.

So in, in

a biblical understanding, death is essentially separation.

Death is separation from God, which is

spiritual death.

It's separation

from one

another.

It's separation

from creation.

It's separation from life itself.

And in a moment we're gonna talk about this ministry of reconciliation.

And because this is ultimately where life is found as we're reconciled

back from these places of separation, these places of death back into unity

and oneness with God and with one another, and with creation as well.

So what is death or death is a temporary enemy.

We know this, that Jesus has conquered through his resurrection, but it's a

spiritual relational, and it's a, and it's a physical fracturing of life.

I really like the understanding of that's what death is.

It is a relational, a spiritual, and a physical fracturing of life.

It is an anti creation power that is unleashed by human rebellion against God.

Whether rebellion is loud and obvious, or whether it's more subtle and

has the appearance of sanctified behavior, it still has the same result.

But however, it is a reality that we can push back against now

by living in the way of Jesus.

Mm. And so let's just throw up some definitions again to help our minds

and, and our imaginations begin to, take hold of what it is that

we're gonna talk about this morning.

So, general definitions of control.

So control is the power to influence or direct people's

behavior or the course of events.

So it's the act of limiting managing or having power over something.

So that's in its very abstract definition, but let's get a

little bit more psychological now.

So control is a strategy, often subconscious to reduce anxiety

by attempting to manage people outcomes or circumstances.

All right.

Next slide, Sarah.

Thank you.

Let's get

a bit more biblical and spiritual now with our definition.

So the attempt to be God of one's own life or others' lives trusting

in self rather than in God's sovereign wisdom and goodness.

The illusion that I can secure peace, safety, or identity

by making life go my way.

And so then to contrast with self-control, which is something that is obviously

as follows of Jesus, something we are to demonstrate and live out

of control seeks to govern others self-control, empowered by the Holy

Spirit governs oneself under Christ.

Was that all the definitions I had there, Sarah?

Oh no, there's one more.

One more.

So working definition for this conversation.

So control is a heart posture that seeks to secure life, peace, or identity

through personal power or manipulation rather than surrender and trust in God.

And so every part of the culture we live in, and this is one of

our struggles with this, right?

It tells us to take control.

You know, you be, you control your destiny.

You are in control of your life.

We're told that control is a really, really good thing in our

culture.

But this

isn't the testimony of scripture.

The good way that Jesus calls us to walk in is the way of

surrender and not control.

And a couple of weeks ago, we mentioned a passage of scripture from Galatians

five.

And, I just thought

I'd quickly mentioned

this before.

I invite

Melaney into the conversation.

So Galatian talks about the acts of the flesh.

These are obvious things.

Sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, discord,

jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissension, factions and envy.

Drunkenness, orgies and the

like.

Da da.

Those who.

Walk in these ways.

They're not gonna inherit the kingdom of God is what Paul is saying here in this

passage in Galatians, one of the things it mentions is witchcraft and you see can

go, oh, I'm not involved in witchcraft.

Anytime we engage in behaviors that are controlling it's witchcraft.

That's what witchcraft is.

It's seeking to use forces to manipulate.

The future and other people's behavior.

And so when we hear that word, witchcraft, don't check out, go.

Okay.

It's like, ooh, gosh, do I use words, actions, body language, whatever it

might be to try and control the behavior perceptions environment around me.

That's essentially what witchcraft is.

So in a, in a way, we're talking about this morning.

And I, and I say this I guess to kind of make you go, whoa, whoa.

Because we hear witchcraft and we go, Ooh, that's heavy, bad stuff.

Right?

But we can all operate at its core of what witchcraft is.

So this could, we could easily title this morning the way of witchcraft

versus the way of Jesus and I.

We got your attention now.

Right.

Okay.

Alright, so let's, um.

Let's just go to our first slide here.

All right, so Mey, and so why have I invited Melani up here?

This context is good, right?

Yeah, because she's about the most controlling person I know.

No,

not at all.

Not at all.

Mey and I have having a conversation on this topic for quite a while.

Fear is very much on God's heart for our church family.

So there's a real sense that this is a prophetic word.

This isn't just a good idea.

This is a prophetic word in season for our church family.

And, and Milani ops off operates strongly in this prophetic, discerning space.

And so we've been having conversations for a while around this.

So we had a great conversation over the last couple

of weeks.

And so Milani

just has a beautiful, um.

Fear of God birthed burden on this topic, for our church family.

And so I trust her implicitly in this space.

And

so Melany, she went

away and she's thought about it and she came with like.

12 pages of notes and so, and then we've condensed it into

what we're sharing this morning.

And so let's go to this first slide.

Okay.

So I just wanna say it's well with my soul.

This morning, whatever.

My lot, it's well with

my soul.

So when we

look at the word control, it's not a word that actually we read in

the Bible, just similar

to the word

trinity.

It's not

specifically mentioned, but the idea of control captures a deeply

biblical theme.

And really

what it is, is a heart posture of self rule that leads us

away from dependence on God.

So if we

look at, two Corinthians

five 17 to 21, I'll just read it.

So therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come.

The old has gone.

The new is here.

All this is from God who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave

us the ministry of reconciliation that God was reconciling the

world to himself in Christ, not counting people's sins against them.

And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.

We are therefore Christ's ambassadors as though God were

making his appeal through us.

We implore you on Christ's behalf, be reconciled to God.

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become.

Not righteous, but the righteousness of God.

Mm,

very good.

So, Milani, how does this passage connect us to this, to the big picture

idea of the testimony of scripture?

So this passage connects us, it takes us right to the beginning where.

God had a creation and as a result of disobedience, this creation was lost.

And so this ministry of reconciliation is God reconciling this creation

back to himself through Jesus Christ.

Yeah, yeah.

And then how do you link this with what we're talking about today?

So this rebellion, in a way, can we understand it as control?

Yes.

We can understand this as

control.

So what we

often do is I. We look at dealing with symptoms.

Yep.

So one of the symptoms of being disconnected to God and being

disconnected to one another is that we show symptoms of control,

manipulation, passive aggression.

Many of these,

um.

Anxiety, depression because we can't have our own way.

And so really if we look at what this ministry of Reconciliation is

calling us back to, the root of it is the disconnection of us to God.

And us to one another.

And so what, what God is doing by presenting to us this morning, this

ministry of reconciliation is, is actually calling us back to himself.

He's not calling us to religion.

He's calling us back to himself.

He's calling us back to intimacy.

He's also calling us back to truly reconcile with one another and not.

Pretending that it's okay because we are very good with that, to pretend

that things are okay, but we are not truly reconsult with one another.

And

then also, calling us

back to holiness and pure living.

I. Yeah.

And so this is the goal.

Um

hmm.

Very good.

All right, well,

I think, the next

slide will help kind of explain this a bit more.

And so let's just have a look at this next one.

Okay.

So if we look

at then the next slide.

So what happened at the fall?

So really at the fall, if we look at it in its score, we see that

the divine order was reversed.

So the temptation was on Satan to say, if you eat this, you will become like God.

And so the moment Eve took that.

She expressed a desire to become like God.

Yeah.

Okay.

So it's reversing that order and so ever since then we've been trying

to rule the world because now we, God and we have to rule the world.

And so if we look at the next two slides, so just one at a time.

So this is what.

What it was

meant to be, before the

fall.

So God is the source.

He created the world.

He created Eden.

He created this beautiful space for Adam and Eve, and so all they

had to do was to paint on God.

He told them he created the fruit.

God is the creator and we are the creation, and we

cannot exist unto ourselves.

We exist unto God.

He created us.

And then this, this one, the next one is the important one for our topic today.

So God has control of the world.

And we have control of ourselves.

We have self-control.

So God is the judge of life and we experience this life that he's given us.

And God designed life and its rules, and we obey the rules and

we live the life that God designed.

Mm-hmm.

So move on to the next slide.

So now it's called the desire, because the desire was there to be God.

We are not God, but there's a desire to be God.

So.

If, if I'm God, then I'm the source.

So now I have to depend on myself.

I can't, I'm not depending on God.

I'm also the creator if I'm God, so I exist unto myself.

So this is really, truly the root of all selfishness.

Yeah.

If we look at, we have control of the world.

So if I'm God, I have to control everything.

So now we are trying, and we are inadequate to do this,

to control our world control

circumstances.

Whilst in

the, the process of this, we've lost control of ourselves.

And then we become the judge of life.

So what is happening in our heads?

Well, we judge ourselves.

We, God condemn ourselves.

We accuse one another.

And then in, in this process where we have all this judgments going

on in our heads, we actually lose the ability to connect with one

another.

And we, we

can't experience true life relationally

anymore.

So, God designed,

we, we now have to design life and his rules.

And so as God, then I can then also decide that I want to live life my way.

Yep.

Okay.

Beautiful.

All right,

so let's, try and frame this in, ways that, . I guess

familiar maze we might be able to discern in ourselves.

So next slide here.

Sarah, what does control look like today?

What are your thoughts, Milani?

Okay, so control in today's life, in modern life would

look like, it can show

up in perfectionism, in passivity, um.

Just wanna keep the status quo, wanna keep everybody happy.

In terms of perfectionism, it's like a

standard, that we have

to live up.

And I just wanted to clarify.

It's not that we want to give anything less than the highest

standard to God, it is actually what happens when something goes wrong.

How does that influence our behavior?

So it has to be.

You know, we have to control

that space.

So that keeps

us, it's another way to look at it is it affects our joy when things go

right, but when things go wrong, then suddenly we lose our joy, we become

depressed, we become, you know, a little

bit flat.

Things like

anger.

Rise up in our hearts because people are not behaving the way that we want them

to behave.

Also emotional manipulation.

Emotional

manipulation is where.

I don't get my way, but then I can't contribute wholly in someone else's way.

So I withdraw or I

pouch, or I, I'm there,

but I'm not a hundred percent there.

So it's just a way of

controlling, avoidance, avoiding

to have honest.

And sincere conversation.

And instead of that, avoiding it, but then allowing things in our hearts

to stew.

And, and

really not the ability to speak

about it.

And then

often things like religious behaviors

that we, conduct in.

But, it, it looks

very spiritual, but it can be at the root, very

ungodly.

And then

so some of the modern parallels that we can say, you know, okay,

let's, let's pull it even closer.

This was very general.

So in our

community, you know,

where, where can we

see that?

So we, we

can see this in controlling spouses, both sides, where we want people to do things

our way, and then when things don't go

our way, you know,

we, we have a reaction, we have a behavior thing.

Mm. Parents controlling

children.

We want them

to do things our way and then when, when they don't do it our way,

we become very unhappy with them.

And often what we do is we withdraw our love.

Mm-hmm.

Um.

Flattery where we say things because we want people to participate, or

where we compliment people because we actually wanna use their skill.

Things like that.

Or

micromanagement.

Where the

alternative is to give freedom, but enforce

consequences.

The other,

another way is, for

example, image protection.

Mm-hmm.

I want you

to see me as.

A righteous woman, a prayerful woman.

And so I protect this image of me.

And so when God asked me to do something that is against

that image, it's very

hard for me to do that because it's against this image of myself or

somebody that's, you know, got a talent and God sees put that down.

We, we can't

do that.

Another way

is passive aggressive

behavior.

So we don't

openly say what we don't agree with, but then we have these behavioral things that

come up.

And then

what was the other one I'd mentioned?

Flattery.

And I mentioned

micromanagement.

Yeah.

Yeah, I just

thought I'd throw a few more thoughts out there.

See where they

land.

Church.

One of the

things that I am, have become more increasingly aware of, and just to go back

to this one about religious behavior, how we can use religious behavior to control.

One of the most insidious, abominable ones that is used in the church with

monotonous regularity is God said, yeah.

Oh my word, people.

Stop it.

Like if you are just, if you are afraid of some situation, don't use

God said to try and protect yourself.

Okay.

Like if God genuinely said.

Great.

If you have prayed and you've discerned that, but just be so, so careful.

Walk, walk in the fear of the Lord around using that phrase,

because our own hearts, right?

And I say this to condemn, okay, we only try to control when

we're in places of fear, right?

When we're self-protecting, when afraid of something.

So this isn't to shame you all into right behavior, but it's

a, it's, it's a horrible thing.

That has crept into the church of, it's a way of controlling the narrative, right?

If I can say, God said, or God told me, we, how can that?

How can the person you are relating with have any comeback to you?

You've just pulled the Trump card.

You know, I've just used the God said card, and that's blasphemy.

So when the, when you know in 10 Commandments when it says You're

not, shall, you know, don't take the Lord's name in vain.

It's not talking about using God's name as a swear word.

It's using God's name to get your own

way.

And, and we need

to really be really

careful, of that.

And I wanna

say two in this moment.

Um.

One of the chief ways that, spiritual abuse happens in church, and some of you

have been on the receiving end of that is through coercive controlling behavior

from those who are in positions of power, who in a church context, who use guilt.

And shame to get you to behave according to their own ends, to whoever

the leader or the powers that be.

And if you have been on the receiving end of that, that can

be a really damaging place to be.

And I know some of you have, and you've been on a journey of healing, maybe you

have had full healing in that space.

But if that is you, and you find yourself here this morning and you go, I feel

like that has been my story and it has.

Broken me and crushed me because it is a horrible place

to be in.

Please come

and

talk to us.

It's, it's,

you need to go on a journey of forgiveness and healing in that

space so it doesn't continue

to have, voice in

your story.

Any more.

And so, yeah,

again, shame is another one we use.

We use it in the church.

Parents use it on their kids.

It's a horrible way of trying to control other people's behavior.

And it happens in church through narratives like, you know, you

need to serve or you know, God's not gonna be pleased with you.

Different, different, I mean, you know, we don't usually do it

in ways that are that obvious.

But we gotta be really, you know, careful, careful guarding our

hearts in this space and going, ooh.

Particularly, particularly, particularly my friends, if you are in a position of

authority, whether that's in a church, whether that's in your home, whether

that's in the workplace, if you are in a position of authority, walk so very

carefully in this space of self-assessing.

Am I giving in to controlling behaviors to try and manipulate the people around me?

Um.

And then if you recognize you are, you go, well, why can

you bring it before the Lord?

All right.

Milani, how

might we appear spiritual but be operating from a controlling spirit?

Did you have anything you wanted to share on that one?

Yeah,

I think, whatever we do, it must always

be that Jesus must be glorified.

So Jesus is the only one that really knows what is the motives of our hearts.

And so sometimes we can do things, it looks very spiritual, but the

motive is really to be acknowledged.

The motive is really to be seen or sometimes to display.

Um.

Your creativity or your ability.

I can speak about this because I had a problem

with this.

And I know

because if you find your value in performance, this is something

that you do, you have to perform in order to feel valuable.

And so this is something that you need to

lay down.

So yeah,

it it is a very dangerous space.

Yep.

Anything else you want to

add on that one?

Should we move on to the next one?

No.

I think it's good.

Yep.

All right.

Can we have the next slide there,

Sarah?

Okay.

So what we've got is, just the

heart of control.

So if we look at that, oh, sorry.

Maybe I, I do wanna add just one thing.

Yeah.

Back up

the truck.

It, you were

just asking, we were just talking about

control.

And I'm,

I was talking about my life and one of the things in my

own life, that I realized

is.

Control manifested in my life that as a, as a

young person, I had a aggressive

controlling dad.

So I have actually adopted the way, I learned the way of passivity.

I learned that in order to feel safe.

I have to do everything to keep my dad happy,

which means, there's things

that are done that is not right, but I can't address them.

I have to keep my dad happy.

And so what happens is there is things that you are unhappy about on the

inside, but you can't speak about it.

So what you then do is you stew on it, you become better, and you, you, you actually

harbor unforgiveness in your heart.

And then what I've also realized, what I do is.

I make a case in my own mind

against, you know,

why, why is it okay not to speak

about it?

It is like

I need to become more spiritual.

I need to be more patient.

I need to grow up in Christ, you know, so it's all these spiritual, I oversize it.

The other thing that I also realize what I do is you build a case in your

own mind, for the goodness

of this person.

Because it's like, well, this person is doing this and this, right?

So how can you complain

about that?

And so it's

like a distortion in your own mind.

And this is one of those distortions that he talks about in two

Corinthians three, 10 verse

three, four and five, where it says, take.

Captive in our minds these thoughts that are exalting against the knowledge of

God because those thoughts specifically keeps your you in a place of bitterness

and unforgiveness, and it actually keeps the person that you pacify in a place

of immaturity because they continue.

They are most often people like that are oblivious, oblivious to

the fact that they are overstepping a boundary in somebody else's life.

Yep.

So just wanna mention that.

Mm. And I guess just to frame it another way, when we're operating in ways

like that, passivity

not, you know, stepping lovingly into places of confrontation,

it's like we are not loving the

other.

Yeah.

We are again,

self-protecting, trying to keep ourselves safe.

And what that does is it kills

relationship.

Yeah.

Deep, intimate,

genuine, authentic relationship because deep, genuine, authentic

relationship only comes with deep

vulnerability.

And, and that

means willing to go.

I, I'm seeing this, actually, I'll use this

example.

So it was

interesting.

I'm just like looking at Caleb

down here.

So Caleb

and I were chatting the other Sunday night at church.

Don't worry, Caleb, I'm not exposing you.

Now.

I'm exposing me.

You're safe.

You're safe.

Because one

of the, one of the strategies I use to control people's perception

of me is self-deprecation.

If anyone noticed, if you know me, five minutes, I'm pretty good

at the humor of self-deprecation.

It's, it's an Australian thing.

It's certainly strong in my family and because what I, I learned early

on to do is like, if I can mock myself first, I can make myself safe.

Because I can get in before you.

Yeah.

Because that's what I learned when I was younger.

And so that's why, and so Caleb interestingly called me

out and the other night I was.

You know, self-deprecating again.

And he goes, I really don't like it when you do that and luck.

No, it was totally, you weren't judging at all.

It was, it was, it was a genuine, authentic moment of you responding

to something you knew wasn't good in

me.

And, and just

that, just that little phrase, oh, I don't like that.

I don't like it when you do that.

Like, that's just a really kind, gentle way of calling

someone out.

When they're

behaving in a way that isn't godly or in this case, trying to

control.

Beautiful.

All right, let's go to that next slide, Sarah.

Okay.

So if we look at really what is the heart of control, remember now we wanted to be

God, so it means we trust in ourselves.

So really it is trusting self and not God.

So at its root.

Control is really idolatry.

It is a self-trust replacing God trust.

So why is this opposite to the way of Jesus, do you

think?

Well, if we look

at the

next slide, the way of Jesus, Jesus.

I

don't think we're particularly excited about what was lying ahead.

Mm.

But he submitted his will to the will of the father.

So he said, yet not my will, but your will speed, your will

be done in another place.

Jesus also said, he said, my food is to do the will of the father.

Yeah.

So, um.

It is opposite to the way of Christ.

Because the way of Christ is the way of surrender.

Yeah.

It is the way of, I want God's will above everything else, whereas the way

of control sees I have to have my way.

My way.

Yeah.

Yep.

That is so true.

And you know, Luke already touched on this

scripture.

If we can

just go back to that scripture there, Sarah, let me, Luke already touched

on this one this morning and it is so.

It's so key.

This is what the heart of what we are talking about this morning.

It is because control and, and its core is my way.

Yeah.

And, walking the

way of Jesus ultimately is, yeah.

His way and the way of formation in Christ.

One way of framing our understanding is his journeying away from this to that.

And what Jesus modeled and demonstrated for us is that life of complete

trust, of complete surrender, and that is where true life is found.

For you and for those around you as well.

Yeah.

Beautiful.

I think as well, I just wanted to mention this, is that if we understand, that's

why we started right at the beginning.

If we understand where it comes from, what is the root of it, then

it's not a place of condemnation.

Yeah.

It is actually a place of.

Leaning into the power

of Christ.

This where

it says that the grub nature of man is very self-centered.

If we get that, we don't condemn ourselves.

We just realize, listen, I, this is now my nature.

This is the nature that I need to consider dead.

Yeah.

In Christ Jesus.

So it actually removes for me that whole thing of condemning myself

and that I'm not good enough.

Yeah.

You know what the corrupt nature is controlling the corrupt

nature wants its own way.

Yep.

That's why Jesus said in

Isaiah 53, there's,

it says, we all like sheep have gone astray.

Each one has turned to his own way.

Yeah.

And the Lord has laid upon him the iniquity of us all.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Very good.

All right, let's go to the next slide.

Sarah.

What have we got there?

The way of Jesus, which is the way of surrender, self-control, and trust.

So let's talk about this a bit more.

Okay.

So the way of Jesus is not passive.

It's not a, it's not a.

Passive, surrendering,

like, oh wow, I don't care.

It is actually a surrendering to the will of God.

That is the important thing that we have to

grasp here.

It is not

controlling others, but really learning spiritful self-control.

So we don't have the power to control, but we do have the power to surrender.

So it is like Jesus was a man.

Under authority.

Mm-hmm.

So if we just look at the

scriptures, Galatians

5 22, 23, so I'll read it here.

But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance,

kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Again, such things.

There is no law if we look at the next slide.

Thank you, Sarah.

Um.

God gave us a spirit, not a fear, but of power and of love and of

self-control.

If we look

at some of the other versions, it actually says that we self-control, sound

judgment, or discipline or a sound mind.

And then the next part of the verse says, therefore, be not ashamed

of the testimony of the Lord.

So you can see that.

It's the self-control that brings us to a place

where we, we are not

ashamed of the message of Christ.

So if we look at the

next one, to Peter

one, verse five to eight.

So this one says, for this very reason, make every effort

to add to your faith goodness.

So we make the effort to add to our faith goodness, and to goodness

knowledge and to knowledge, self-control, and to self-control,

perseverance, and to perseverance.

Godliness and to godliness, mutual affection and to mutual affection.

Love for if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you

from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

So here we can see that.

Self-control is part of the process where we grow into, a fruitful

knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ.

And so the next slide, thank you, Sarah, is Philippians two,

verse 12 to and 13 where it says.

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always ab obeyed, not only in my

presence but now much more in my absence, continue to work out your salvation

with fear and trembling for it is God who works in you to well and to act.

It is God working in you to well and to act in order to fulfill.

His good

purpose.

So then just drawing out of that scripture there.

Yeah.

How is Spirit empowered self control different from just trying to be better?

Okay.

Trying to be less controlling.

I. Okay, so

we have to, it's very important that we grasp

this, that, self-control

is not bringing ourselves under the power of our own discipline and our self effort.

So if we would do that again, we would just marvel in our own

ability to, to actually

be

self-disciplined.

But it is

actually to bring ourselves under the power of Christ.

And the important thing that we have to remember, it is only Christ Jesus that has

the power to overcome our fleshly desires that is opposing to the ways of God.

None of us have the power to overcome that or to subter you that.

If we, if we could do that in ourself with self-discipline, we don't need Christ.

So we do need Christ.

And it's just surrendering, giving ourselves to Christ under his control.

And that's the, you know, that's the temptation when we, are dealing with

subjects like this, isn't it to go, oh, I recognize in myself now I've gotta go fix

myself, which is then just another form of

control.

And so it

is coming to that

place of, again, yielding

all of this to God.

Right, because if you are going, oh man, I've, I am having some control,

you know, revelations, I'm having some control stuff exposed in me through this.

Take it to the Lord.

He already knows.

Right.

He knows your places of fear.

He knows your places of shame.

He knows where you are trying to get your own way, and you're

being a real pain about it, right?

Like don't sugarcoat it before him.

Bring it to him and ask for his help, right?

And remember that it is his spirit in you that you have all you need to be able

to yield this to God, to lay it down to

him.

And, and so resisting

that temptation of behavior management in this space, but

seeking God for his grace, for deep actual transformation, deliverance

healing.

Because for

often where, where there is places of where deep controlling behavior, there is

some healing that's gonna happen, right?

You're manifesting this behavior because something really hard and

horrible, traumatic happened, and that's this behavior you now adopted

is how you have learned to be safe.

In

the world.

All right,

let us, then this will lead next to our, to our final slide.

So returning to dependent trust in God, what's the key thought there?

Milani.

I. So

I think, it's really

important when God calls us to speak about something, it means that his

grace has gone ahead of us and is waiting there for us to be able to

address this in a godly way and to grow

through it.

It's not an, we, we, we

mustn't look at this and say, okay, God wants to nail us.

Yeah.

God is truly interested in our growing up.

Into the likeness and the image of Jesus Christ.

He paid for it.

Yeah.

That's what he wants.

Yeah.

And so

I think, I'm just

gonna read Revelation two, verse

20 to 23.

There is

also a warning for

us here, not to condemn

us, but to say if we read Revelation, it says, but I have,

it's Jesus speaking to the church.

He's not speaking to a person.

He's speaking to the church of th diara and he's saying, I have this against you.

That you tolerate.

The women Jebel, who calls herself a prophetess and is teaching and seducing

my servants to practice sexual immorality and to eat food sacrifice to idols.

I have given her time to repent of her immorality, but she's unwilling so I

will cast her on a bit of suffering and I will make those who commit

adultery with her suffer intensely unless they repent of her ways.

That's very interesting.

I will strike a children deed then.

Then all the children will know that I am he who searches hearts

and minds and I will repay each of you according to your deeds.

So we don't want to make something really overly spiritual of this actually

what Jesus is saying to the church.

He's saying, thi you are tolerating in your midst.

Somebody that is operating.

With control and man manipulation.

And that control and manipulation is leading the church away from the

plans of Christ for this church.

So what is his plans for us is that we grow up into this mature image of Jesus,

that we will have purity of heart and single eye devotion for Jesus Christ.

And so he's just saying,

listen, we are, . Tolerating

that we are seeing it, but we are tolerating that.

Yeah.

Mm. So good.

All right.

Well, oh my gosh, it's 1128.

All right.

We need to bring this home then.

Yes.

Let's, land the plane here.

One of the things I think, and if Melania, and I've been talking about this

a bit lately, one of the thing I think that helps in this space as we go on

journeys of deliverance transformation,

healing, from these

deep matters of the heart, is actually allowing and inviting

the conviction of the Holy Spirit.

But then.

Allowing ourselves to come to a place of grieving over

the cost.

There is

a deep cost when we operate in manipulative, controlling kind of ways.

And are you willing to allow through the revelation of the spirit, God,

to show you that cost, what it is costing the people around you?

As you control, as you manipulate, as you operate out of fear, even if you're doing

it in really nice ways, not necessarily dominating aggressive ways, but it's

there is going to be a relational.

Cost there for you and those around you.

So are you willing to have that?

Because where you see that cost and your heart is grieved, that is a precious,

precious space for the ministry of the Holy Spirit to actually come

lead you truly to repentance, right?

'cause when we see, when we are grieved, right?

That is when we turn, that's, I don't want this, Lord, this is horrible.

Help me turn, which is what repentance is.

Yeah.

Help me get off this way and get on your way.

And the other word I'm gonna throw out there, which is the Jesus way

and it is the antit control way and it is the way of vulnerability.

And it is so it's seeking the Lord.

Lord, how do I?

Vulnerability kills control big time.

You'll no longer be operating in spaces of control.

You cannot be controlling and vulnerable at the same time, and

so it is pursuing the courage to be vulnerable in relationships instead,

allowing fear to control you.

You name it.

And you share with those around you.

I am so afraid of this right now, and I know this seems dumb and stupid, but I am,

and it's controlling my behavior and it's making me whatever it might be for you.

And so, but that's vulnerability, right?

It's calling the fear out.

It's naming it and it's sharing it with those that you trust.

'cause that kills it dead.

When we are brave to do that in that, that in that space and

vulnerability is truly, truly where deep, intimate, authentic, unified.

Community is able to happen and thrive and flourish, and that is

the place where formation into Christ's likeness happens as well.

Not just behavior modification.

Too often the church settles for behavior modification.

Let's all just come and say the right things and look good, but

hearts are still bound up by fear.

Yeah.

But we want true transformation, freedom, deep, profound

vulnerability with one another.

And courage.

Oh, courage.

Oh, we need to be brave.

And so that is my prayer and my hope for us as a

church family.

All right.

Let us land there, my friends.

I could see you memorizing.

Did you wanna land it in any particular way?

Luke, Adam?

Yeah.

All right.

There you go, Luke.

Awesome.

Thank you guys.

Why don't we give them a hand?

Thank them for their

preparation and

delivery and, there is

so much to think about, isn't

there?

Hmm.

As I was

sharing in our

pre-service, I had sort

of prayer

meeting and, just going

over this morning together in our teams, there's a temptation when

we talk about these things to look

outward.

Mm. It is very

tempting to, to see where this is manifesting in the other, and again,

that, that influx is to protect, it's a self protection sort of manifestation

in us is to go, yeah, oh, I look at that person, they're, they're controlling.

You know?

It's very easy for me to look at all the ways that Beck

manifests this, my wife, you know.

But the, the, the, the welcome is that there is actually, there's

something that God's welcome us into and that is a, a better way.

And that is to actually, to ask Lord, where, where in me, where in me is this

manifesting?

Where is

the giant log in my

eye?

And, when we talk

about control, we're, we're talking about, oh, in areas where we are living this out.

We're speaking that we don't trust in God.

We don't trust in His goodness, do we?

And, and yet the gospel, the scriptures reveal the God of, of

such overwhelming goodness to us that he, he, he desires the fullness of

what it is to experience goodness.

Yeah.

He ex, he doesn't desire death.

He doesn't desire that, that anyone would be lost, but he desires all that

all would come and have life in him.

As Mey said, God's God's mission is to redeem in unity all of

creation back into himself.

And you're a part of that.

You, you, you cannot escape God's desire for his goodness.

But, but because God is so good, he, he waits patiently for us to say, come and

let me experience your goodness, Lord.

Yeah.

That's how good he is.

He's so kind.

He's so gentle to us.

So first off, as we leave today.

Battle battle at hard.

The temptation to go.

Ah, that's right.

I see.

You know, I see in Caleb all the controlling things manifesting in

him, you know, so see it in summer.

I, you know, no Bella's battle at hard.

I see.

In Roz.

I don't see anything Ross.

Really?

You guys

will chat.

But okay.

Where in me, Lord, search me.

That's Psalm 139.

Dale's been reminding us to continue to pray this in our staff, and at the end

of Psalm 1, 3, 9, it says, search me God.

No, no.

All my anxious ways, all my concerns, what is in me that is

not a part of God's goodness.

Let's go there.

So let's, let's, let's commit to each other as we leave today to

the, to the, to the pursuit of God.

Uncover that in me.

Imagine a community if we're all dedicated to that pursuit.

Oh, this would be a community of goodness.

Yeah.

Amen.

Beautiful.