The Way of Jesus 7.0

We are continuing our conversation on this series that we're in at the

moment, uncovering the way of Jesus.

And this morning brings us to a bit of a part two of a sub series within this

series, if we wanna put it that way.

So a couple of weeks ago, for those of you who were here, Melaney and I had a

conversation on the topic of control, the light, easy little topic of control.

And we felt that there was so much more to say on that topic

that we're gonna hit a part two.

And so I have my wonderful friend here, Luke, and basically we're just

gonna explore all Luke's control issues together this morning.

It's gonna be great.

Been chatting to Beck.

She's completely filled me in, because this isn't something that

I personally struggle with, so

Well,

you do all know me so well, don't you?

Set an objection.

Sorry, I needed to get someone up here.

Think.

That's it.

Oh, so funny.

All right.

I

do just, all right, so let me just intro this a bit and um, and then

Luke and I are gonna have a bit of a chat around some questions.

So we've got a bit of a definition to help guide our time this morning.

So, a working definition for this conversation around control.

What do we mean by control in this context?

So control is a heart posture that seeks to secure life, peace, or

identity through personal power or manipulation rather than.

Surrender and trusting God.

So it's a way of trying to live in this world that is an antichrist way of being.

Okay.

So the way of Jesus is the way of submission yielding to the will of God,

but the way of control is trying to get our own way by our own means, and it

will not lead to the fruitful, abundant life that Jesus has called us into.

And so why, just quickly, why do we control?

Um, because there's a lot of ways that we do it.

Some are very obvious and overt.

Others are more subtle and quiet.

But there is, I think, just a consistent theme that, um, lies as

the motivating force when we engage in controlling behaviors and, um.

Usually it's a fear-based thing.

Usually there is some kind of fear.

We are actually created to live in a state of peace, not a place

of chaos, but we live in a really chaotic, uncertain world, don't we?

And the place that humans thrive is actually.

In places of stability and security, places where there is that sense

of provision on physical levels, emotional levels, all of those things.

You think of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, right?

Um, but we live in a really chaotic world, and so the chaos can often

cause us to lean into ways of trying to bring certainty into our world,

trying to assure peace for ourselves through our own ways and means.

And it never works.

It will never produce the freedom and the life that we were created to know

and share in Christ with those around us.

And so there's something in us, we just cannot tolerate uncertainty.

And when we can't bear our lack of control, what we end up doing, we engage

in behaviors and thought patterns, from manipulation to coercion, to

intimidation, to information and knowledge gathering, to even superstition.

All right.

To try and give us a sense that we're in control and this urge is

so strong and idolatrous that we will often even imagine control.

Even when we don't have any, we will give into the illusion of control.

And things like superstition, right?

It was amazing how a superstition even exists in the church.

How we use the ways of God in a superstitious way rather than in

a faith, relational, trusting.

Way.

Um, and so all these little controlling ways can so easily creep in and

they do come at a cost, right?

And this is what we've gotta remember, that there is a cost when

we give into these ways that are antithetical to the ways of Jesus.

Because there is a way, God is the ruler of life, the author of life.

There is a way that he sets before us that will bring us into this life and

allow us to share it with those around us.

And then there is, there's only two ways.

The narrow way or the wide way.

Right.

And the wide way is the way that that leads to destruction.

And it can seem so good.

Yeah.

The proverbs verse that we've been talking about, there's a way

that seems right to man, but what in the end, it leads to death.

And we gotta remember there is no neutral, easy going third way.

We can't just go, oh no, I'm not in the way of Jesus, but I'm

not walking an overtly over way.

So you know, I'm in this median strip that's actually okay.

There is no median strip.

There is the way of life, there is the way of death.

There is the way of light.

There is the way of dark.

There is no happy middle space.

And so we gotta recognize that when we are walking in ways that are not the

ways of Jesus, there is, there is always a cost to us and to those around us.

And so this is why this stuff is really serious and the topic of

control that we're gonna be diving into, this is a real, I guess, to.

I frame it this way, this is is a real prophetic ness to this particular topic.

There is, God is highlighting this in our church family.

He's try highlighting it in me big time in our leadership, in just in the, and just

in our church and going these ways that you are giving into these are not my ways.

Okay.

These are not the ways of trusting in me, and these is where they're costing you.

And so I really invite you into this space of self-examination before the

Lord, the prayer that comes in Psalm 139, to test me and know me, Lord,

know my anxious thoughts, show me where I'm giving into controlling ways,

manipulative ways, coercive ways, ways that are not in alignment with your good.

Ways.

All right.

So just to quickly, just to point out a few scriptures to help frame this

and help, I guess grease the wheels of understanding to help you connect

to this in ways that you might be giving into ways of control, um, let's

just have this first passage here.

So I think root of control often is, is described in this passage

here from James four, where he talks about, you know, what's causing

all these quarrels amongst you.

Well, what it is he's saying is that you want your own way.

And you fight for it deep inside yourself.

You know this just, this is like the first year of marriage, right?

Two people get married and suddenly you've got these two willful people, and

they might not be obviously willful, but there's the battle of the wills and shoes

and how am I gonna get my own way here?

And often we don't even realize that's what's going on.

But at the core of it, if we stop and be quiet enough and go, oh my gosh, I'm

actually fighting for my own way here against this person that I'm actually

supposed to love more than anything.

And so inevitably so well.

Probably 95% of the time that we are in conflict with another person.

It's because of this.

We want our own way.

We want our own way.

Next one.

Um, fear of man has a huge, um, impact on our desire to control.

I must control others' perception of me.

So here we got the story of a nice and sfi right man.

The cost for them was huge.

They wanted others to think they were religious, that they

were pious, and so they lie.

Basically God not happy with them.

Big cost for these guys 'cause they wanna present a certain kind of appearance.

They wanted to be perceived to be holy and pious and generous and all of these

things that, uh, apparently good in the eyes of God, but they actually weren't

and they pretended and they're trying to control people's perception of them.

Next one.

Fear of circumstances.

I must control the situation with information.

This is a classic one.

So here we've got Saul.

Things are not going well for Saul at this point.

He's been waiting on Samuel to rock up to tell him what he should do.

Samuel doesn't come.

So what does Saul do?

Rather than wait on God, he takes matters into his own

hands and he consults a medium.

All right.

You could insert Google here.

Church.

Yeah, to modernize the context here.

I don't know what's going on.

I don't wanna wait on God.

I'm gonna go find the information for myself and I'm gonna go to Holy

Spirit Google in this instance, right?

We do it in different ways and means, but this Google's a pretty,

pretty good one, and suddenly we're just like tapping away furiously no

different to what Saul was doing here.

The cost of Saul was massive.

When he refused to just wait upon God and trust him in the space of the unknown.

Yeah, we don't like unknown, we don't like uncertainty, so we will grab a,

whatever means we can to feel like we've got that uncertainty, even if

it's all an illusion and at cost.

The cost us all was huge.

Finally, this one here.

Poor Moses.

This one breaks my heart.

Right?

Here's poor Moses.

He had journeyed with these difficult people for 40 years.

They are so close to entering the promised land.

The people are whinging and complaining at him again, and they go before God.

Him and Aaron go before God and they say, you know, people want water.

What are we gonna do?

God says, go speak to the rock.

But Moses, these people are so.

Annoying to him, and they're just so stupid and faithless and just, they've

seen miracle after miracle, and yet here they are all up in Moses' Grill again,

making his life very, very difficult.

I can so understand his frustration, but instead of speaking to the rock

as God told him, he hits the rock, he strikes the rock, and God says,

because you have not trusted me.

And the consequences.

When Moses would die, he would, from that point on, he wasn't allowed to enter the

promised land because he did not trust God and he allowed frustration and he needed

to demonstrate power in that space to take control over the people and God's like.

Can't do it.

That's not my way.

That's not my way.

And the cost to Moses was huge.

All right.

So there's just some spaces, maybe you've identified yourself

in some of those stories.

Um.

And if you have, we'll, in a moment we will get to what you can do with that.

Alright, my friend, Mr. Luke Bates, we've seen different biblical characters

here and their struggles with control.

So where for you, do you see controlling ways operating in your life?

And why is it a problem?

Ugh, here we go.

When we talk about control, I just want to, I wanna give context

of what I'm speaking, uh, into.

We're speaking about this unholy control in scripture.

There's, there's a lot of good things, um, readings, uh, Proverbs or Psalms about a

life in control, but it's always postured under the, um, Lordship or will of God.

And the issue that we face is that God has, has given us, um, sort of a

command to rule and reign under him.

And it's where, it's where we step out of that.

That we, we end up hurting ourselves and hurting others.

So where do I see it?

I see it in all aspects of my life.

That's good.

Um, from my role as a pastor, friend, husband, brother, father,

son, I'm always seeing these subtle urges of wanting to control.

Um, and, um, and, and why?

Why?

Well, I think the why is because we're fearful creatures.

We're anxious creatures.

Um, we long as Dale says, for comfort and safety.

That's, that's what we're desiring as humans.

Um, so we play the game, um, of attempting to control the uncontrollable.

We play the game of, of making our worlds get back to Eden, which

is actually the mission of God.

It is only by his will and his power that we'll see that achieved.

Yeah.

Um, and where it gets really, really dangerous, why is this bad?

Because there are times in our lives where we actually succeed in

controlling others, and that is.

Horrific.

That opens up a world of potential abuse and misuse of each other.

So my first example for my life in that confessional space, and the,

the reason why we're doing this is to welcome you into a journey

of asking the same question.

Where do I stumble in this area?

Is, is well, as a pastor, this role that I have, right?

That.

The sheer just position that I hold means that I have, I have the temptation at

times to control others or situations, both pastorally or in leadership, um, in

services, in my, the messages that I give.

Um, I'm constantly being met with the temptation to manipulate to control you.

Um, to control the situation because of the position that I hold as a pastor.

Um, and I think in, in, in any sense, there's a, there's a desire

in me that my hope is that I might lead in a non-anxious presence under

the will of God and lead in a, in a servant type of leadership with you.

That's my hope.

But there's the temptation that always rises because there's,

there's a, there's a power that is given to me to hold this position.

Um, which as I mentioned before, there is a, there's a rightness about that un

under the Lordship of Christ, but then there's, there's a, there's a, there's an

opportunity for me to be led astray and to use that in a abusive controlling ways.

There is that temptation in me.

So let me just, let me just name something that's actually happened

for me over the last couple of years where I have been tempted and I have

wanted to control you as a people.

This is so fun.

I don't mind confessional small groups.

Uh, but this feels more revealing.

About a year and a half ago before our trip away, I was,

I was feeling a real sense of frustration building up within me.

Uh, in my role and, and part of that frustration was real, really around

this, what I perceived as a lack, lack of joyful desire to come and pray

together as a community like that was crushing me as, as, as part of my role

is to oversee prayer within the church.

I was, I was feeling incredibly dejected by that.

And so the desire.

For me was to start guilt tripping in conversations was start to use

our announcements of prayer meetings as ways, uh, to sell a product to

you that your life would be better if you come to a prayer meeting.

You know, sort of that desire to use things like consumerism to get my way.

Um, and, and what, what God did for me was beautiful.

God really humbled me.

Uh, through this period of time, and he brought me to that realization

that I, I'm just a spoiled brat.

I'm, I'm looking, I'm not looking at the gifts that I have that God has given

me, but I'm, instead, I'm a spoiled brat going, I want more, I want bigger.

I want better.

And I desire to control that outcome.

Why?

Because if the church prayer meetings go well, then I'm doing a good job.

You know?

So at the end of the day, it comes a question around identity

and worth in me right now.

The problem is the misstep that that we make here is that.

As we enter into these, these ways of controlling, of manipulating, of of, of

trying to coerce people, what we do is we miss out on seeing the way that God sees.

Yeah.

So we, we gratitude's now out the door.

Yeah.

Goodbye.

Gratitude, uh, goodbye to seeing what God is delighting in, in his people.

And that's what God, that's what God revealed me in that, into that season

is the preciousness and that delight that God was actually enjoying.

The people that were gathering, that were praying, that were loving each

other so well, that were interceding for our community, and that set me free,

set me free, like, like Jesus was free.

Remember, Jesus goes around in his ministry and he's

like, Hey, come or don't come.

Yeah.

And he's at peace.

Why?

Because he knew, he knew who he was.

He knew the mission of the father, and he knew that the father's will

was gonna come to completion, where the people said yes or no to it.

And so I have found a delight over the last year freedom in that space of

our prayer meetings where I have just enjoyed them so much more delighting

in what God is doing in and through the people that are gathering.

You know, last one we had, we, we were having like 2020 odd, one of the

best prayer meetings I've been to was our last, uh, monthly prayer meeting.

We had 11 people here.

And I was just, I was walking out on the, like I was leaping out,

just going, oh Lord, you're so good.

And so I just want to encourage you that with control, control just blinds us.

It blinds us to seeing the delight that God sees.

It blinds us to see what God values and really coming into alignment

is what is what we get to enjoy.

Sorry, Dale.

No, no, it's great.

I think when we attach identity to outcomes, this is when

we get tempted to control.

And so in ministry it's, it's a huge temptation, but it'll be relevant for us

all in our different spheres of influence.

And so, you know, as Luke's testifying to there he is, there's

a, is that tendency to attach his.

Uh, identity to the attendance of a prayer meeting.

Sounds lame right?

When you say it like that, right?

Why would you?

But we, we all do it in different ways.

You know, we, we have these metrics in our head.

I'm okay if things go this way, and if things don't go this

way, then I'm not gonna be okay.

So I need to figure out a way.

And you take something like a prayer meeting, right?

This is where it gets really tricky, okay?

'cause the prayer meeting's a good thing.

Okay?

So then we.

We convince ourselves that, well, the ends justify the means.

So it doesn't really matter how I get people there, so

long as I get people there.

Yeah.

And actually, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

The uh, you cannot divorce in the ways of Jesus.

You cannot.

Divorce means from ends.

Yeah.

You cannot get Jesus ends without Jesus ways.

Yeah.

And I think that had the temptation in church context.

It happens all the time.

And even in your relationships with one another, you know, you

want godly goodness for the other.

And then you justify any means to get that person to conform to who you

think they should be or how their walk with Jesus should look and not, okay.

Parents.

Don't do it with your children.

Spouses.

Don't do it with one another.

Don't do it with your friends.

Okay.

Godly means lead to godly ends.

Unholy means will not lead to godly ends.

Doesn't matter how good they might look on the surface.

So look, so just before

we move on, can, can I ask that you please forgive me, the spoiled brat.

Uh, that did not see the delight that God saw.

And then secondly, can I be brave enough to ask?

Can you pray for me that I, in my work, that I see what Christ sees?

That's my, that's my request this morning.

Good.

Yeah.

And actually just to double down on that, pray for all of us, right?

Like.

You know, for those who are, who are leading you, it is in your

best interest to be praying for us.

Yeah.

That we would be wise to these temptations and that we would have the

trust in God to not give in to them.

That is gonna be how we are best postured to love and serve you,

and to lead you and disciple you.

So be praying for us in that space and we need it.

We really, really need it.

Um, you know, again, while we're, hey, while we're in confession mode.

You know, I'm, I'm talking to somebody on Friday night and somebody that, um,

used to be a part of the church community here, very invested and still still really

great friends, and we're just talking about their life and then they're telling

me about the church that they're now involved in and how things are exploding.

Um, and I'm just, I'm going, I'm watching my internal reaction.

I'm going, oh, that's not pretty.

What is going on there?

And, um, because I should have been just championing if, if.

The gospel is being preached and people are being, you know, exposed to the

truth of God's word, and they're growing.

Doesn't matter where it's happening, rejoice, but I'm noticing

this, eh, in my spirit, going, well, are we not doing things?

Are we not doing enough?

Are we not doing enough?

And this fear starts to, you know, we're not getting it right.

What are we missing?

Why aren't we exploiting?

And, um, and fear, fear, fear.

And then the temptation to go, okay, what are we gonna do?

How I gonna fix it?

Control, control, control.

It was like, ah.

So I took it before the Lord and I just sat in that space of discomfort and going,

Lord, what are we gonna do about this?

This is not a holy response that's going on here.

And again, oh my gosh, I can't believe how often this happened.

This is why we need your prayers, judge, right?

It's like, oh my God, I've made an idol, a red door again, I idol again.

Oh my gosh.

The temptation of the human heart to make idols out of things.

And when we make an idol out of this place, we as those who lead it.

But even for you guys too, the temptation can be, make an idol of your church

seems like such a good thing, right?

But no, because it has to go a certain way for you to be okay.

And then we start to control.

So, Luke, on that topic, um, what's your go-to means of manipulation and control?

Yeah, I'm quite.

Glad you are Dale.

And uh,

because the great thing about this is like Luke does not come across as an

obviously controlling person, right?

We have these caricatures in our head of what a controlling

person is like, and Luke doesn't necessarily fit that stereotype.

And this is what's great about this conversation because

what I, the hope is that.

It's gonna be exposed in all of us.

We all have this tendency, it goes back to the original sin in the garden, right?

That was an issue of control, right?

Eve's confronted with this fear of fomo.

I'm gonna miss out if I don't do something.

And so she takes control.

Mm. It's in all of us.

Some of us just operate it in more subtle ways.

Than others.

So what's yours, Luke?

Absolutely.

I think as, so as I've reflected on this question, um, I think I'm beginning to

realize that a helpful signpost to, to ask how, how do, how do I manipulate

or how am I prone or tempted, uh, into spaces of manipulating others?

One of the most helpful signposts is going, who am I?

So what is my personality type, but also how has God gifted me?

Um, I, I've seen the connection between how has God gifted me and

my, my prone to how I manipulate in, in, in relationship with others.

Alright, so God has gifted me, um, in, in that area of teaching.

I love teaching.

I love it so much and, and I love, I love I delight in going away,

struggling through things, reading, um, and then coming back to the community

and going, look what we've, look what I've discovered in, in God's word.

Uh, let that be a blessing.

Let that build you up.

And let you be released, um, into the knowledge of Christ as well.

I get, I get really excited by that.

I get really excited, um, sitting down and talking with other people.

I really enjoy meeting with others who disagree with me.

I really enjoy it.

Like that's my personality.

Trying to give you a bit of context of what I, how I work.

I really hate debating.

I, I love, I love meeting with someone who disagrees with me, but having a

conversation of generosity and charity to each other, I really delight in that.

'cause I wanna learn more.

Yeah, I, I, I, I delight in being proven wrong.

I actually enjoy that.

Um, but I don't, I don't like debating with people, and so

I'm a bit of a peacemaker.

Um, I enjoy having relationships that are steady.

Um, and if there is a sense of friction, I, I wanna make that right.

I wanna fix that.

So, one, one of the ways that I've, I have in the past, and I was atrocious at

this, guys, my wife should have left me.

I was shocking.

In the first five years, the way that I would manipulate Beck

was through the word of God.

It's disgusting.

And that's 'cause of my primary functioning is as a teacher.

So the motives, the motive starts off fine.

Right?

Here's Beck struggling with something, or she's doing something

that I don't particularly enjoy.

And so I go to her and in my desire to help her to fix her,

um, I use God's word to manipulate the situation to in, in what way?

To get what I want out of it.

But that, that, that's, that's what I've, that's what I've done.

Um, so God's word is not it, it becomes less of a delight in that relationship

and it becomes this heavy burden crushing kind of thing that's used to

force the other, to do what I want and.

And through God's grace and through Beck's Grace, we've been able to name

and call that out as a dynamic in me.

Um, and I, I wanna say, and hopefully Beck can attest to this, I have grown

dramatically in that, uh, I now can, can tell, I can tell the thought processes

as, as conversations and, and, you know.

Some of the time I nip 'em in the butt before words come out.

But I'm also aware that if words do slip out, I'm, I'm able to quickly get

to repentance and ask for forgiveness way more faster than what I used to.

And so that's, that's been a massive thing for me.

Yep.

And I, as a teacher, you know, a, me as a teacher, I can do the same.

Um, our temptation to use the word of God to control people to get

our own way is another way of like.

Well, it's the good thing.

It's the word of God, right?

Oh, yeah.

But why, what's your motivation there?

And so, and it, and it happens, um, all the time, um, just to make, because not

all of you will have that same struggle.

Um, can I just have that slide on the one that says, um, ways we control, so.

Ways that we control often through knowledge and information.

If I've got more information, if I've got more knowledge than you, um, then

I can control the narrative, um, or get you to behave how I think you should.

Um.

Power is another one.

Um, so where you are in positions of authority, using that authority, um,

to get your own way, huge temptation.

Money is another one.

Another great means of trying to control people, trying to control

situations give you an illusion.

Control.

If I've just got enough money, I've got the illusion of control, autonomy,

you know, it's where it's just huge.

Yeah, I'm in just an independent island and I can just make my own decisions.

And this happens, this is a massive problem in church, um, because

people just wanna be autonomous.

They don't wanna be accountable, they don't wanna, so it's

just between me and God.

And, and, and don't you dare try and tell me.

So I'm gonna control through my declaration of autonomy and

you can't tell me anything.

Um.

Theology as Luke's just referred to using the word of God theology

shame is a massive way we control.

It's one that parents are constantly tempted to give into.

When you see your child behaving in a way that you don't think is, and you can have

the best of intentions, but then you start to use shaming narratives to get your kids

to behave, to get what will people think?

That's a shaming narrative.

Yeah.

Prophesying doom over your child if they don't be, behave for a

certain way, you know, if you go out dressed like that, then duh, duh.

Shame, you know, and we, ooh, again, best of intentions, but

it is horrible things, right?

And this is, can we just go the cost slide, what it costs.

It always breaks relationships, right?

Causes exhaustion and burnout.

Body shame is a massive one, right?

We try and troll through how.

That's how our bodies look.

We try and control people's perception of us and we shame ourselves.

Society shames, you know, not predominantly women, but men too.

Um, and um, and that's a huge, huge cost.

So rather than just being able to be a piece in our bodies and know

that they are good because God created them, there is a shame.

And it's a narrative of our culture.

That's why you, it's how gym membership sell and diets sell and Oh, products

and potions and lotions because you're trying to ease the shame that you feel

controls you, controls you, doesn't it?

These narratives and so, and exhaustion, um, what it costs us anxiety.

It all breeds anxiety and it breeds exhaustion.

Did you wanna talk about that exhaustion thing, Luke?

Because you mentioned that when we were chatting about this.

Yeah.

Um, which kind of answers that next.

Sort of question we had.

Um, yeah.

So we had a question that we sort of wrestling over together this week here.

What do you think is going on internally for, for you and per perhaps others,

um, when you pick up ways of control?

And, and to answer that, I, I really wanted to look at the values.

Um, of, of society, like the waters that we swim in and how that forms us.

Um, and then work backwards from there to the root cause.

I'm gonna be gonna be quick.

This isn't gonna be a giant thesis

few.

Um, so we find ourselves as a society in the west, um, we've been slowly on this,

this journey, this promise of nirvana.

Of liberation.

By, by what means?

Well, two means by giving, um, people more choice, right?

And autonomy.

That's been the, the two idols of our society.

The highest value that you have choice and that you're in a, you're the, in regards

to your relationship with others, the primary concern for you is your autonomy.

Yeah.

Okay.

Um, so more choice.

More freedom to create my own self will then make me freer and

more fulfilled within the society.

That's the promise.

At the moment, Tim Keller in 2020, um, made this observation about society.

He said, we as a culture, we used to be about having the

freedom to be your true self.

Yeah.

So you can just, you can just be you in community.

Um, but now, more recently, he mentioned it's about creating your own self.

Do you see the, the, the heavy burden that we're, we're calling each other to?

So the problem is that we have more choices.

The problem is we have greater autonomy, um, because it hasn't, it

hasn't actually yield the promise of a more fulfilled at peace.

Society has it.

Every metric that you read is that we're more anxious and more depressed

in the West than we've ever been.

But because the narrative is so loud for us, man, we get

caught up in that all the time.

Let's be honest.

We all do.

Yeah.

Exhausted, heavy laden.

We just march through life trying to attain more choices mean we need

to not just be settled with who we are, we actually need to start from

scratch and create ourselves anew.

So we're invited into the crushing attempt to do the work in God ourselves.

That's horrifying.

So we need to work out who we are.

We need to work out what we are.

We need to work out our place in God's creation.

Exhaustion is the great symptom of this in our society that we're,

we are living out of God's ways.

What we've done is we've gone, let's take up my way, as opposed to the good way,

which is the God way or the wide way.

And the narrow way.

There's always been that two options for us as humans.

My will be done or your will be done.

Yeah, it's always been there.

The good way is that way of God.

It's true life.

It's discovering that in God, we are met with these answers of who I am.

The way of more choices and autonomy just returns us back to that tree

and tells us to eat the fruit.

Once again, it pulls us away from God ordained blessings of submission

to him and to others in community.

He is our greatest

in the world that we live.

There is no helpful guide, no shepherd available to us.

All is left to us to deal with and create in ourselves, and that's exhausting.

It's elusive of peace.

We've believed a lie taken on the idenity that was actually never ours

to take like we did in the garden.

And our fears stream from worth the constant expectation to do great

things, to be great in and of ourselves.

And the truth is that we will be free when we realize there is only one who is great

and that is God, and that he's in, that He, he deserves that role in our lives.

In one chronicles that says yours, oh Lord, is the greatness and the

power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty for all that is

in heaven and in earth is yours.

And this is where I have found freedom.

Over the last few years,

I have finally gotten to a place where I have come to the, to the recognize,

the recognization, the realization that I don't need to be great.

I can actually enjoy God's greatness.

That the place that I find myself right.

As a minister here at this local church is what God has placed in my

hands and his call is to be faithful.

That's your call.

What has God placed in your hands?

Be faithful to that.

That's the call.

The call isn't to generate in and of yourself some reality of who you are,

what you are, but it's to actually receive that from God himself.

And this, this illusion that there are no boundaries.

Well, that's, that's just taking us back to Eden again.

That God created good boundaries in Eden for us to enjoy freedom and liberty.

And we kinda look outside the walls of Eden and go, yeah, but what's out here?

What's out there?

We're tempted again that the grass is gonna be greener if we have it our way.

And that's a, that's act that's a huge lie.

Apart from the fact, and this is, this is something that I've just so enjoyed

over the last few years, Paul talking to the church, the Thessalonians,

he, he calls them, and this is in the context of sanctification, right?

Growing into Christ's likeness.

He calls them to a life of, of quiet.

Go out and lead a quiet life.

Go out and work with your hands.

Go out and bring honor to his name by just being faithful in what God has given you.

You know?

So I think, I think for us as a people in the West being caught

up in the culture that we are, I'm really rambling up on, I'm so sorry

that we've gotta be recognized.

We've gotta recognize that and go.

You know what my call is to be faithful to what God has given me.

And that's it.

And that's a good life.

That's a great life.

Yep.

Yeah.

Amen.

Look at your ambition to lead a quiet life.

How liberating is that?

Instead of being told you need to go change the world,

that's a lot of pressure.

Um, um, by way of a practical means, right?

To help navigate these waters.

So we've got this, can you just have the, um, slide up, you know, one, right?

So we've got this worksheet.

It's available on the, um, the podcast notes on the app.

So if you go to the app, you'll see the notes there.

And we've got this.

How do you identify lies and strongholds, right?

Because whenever we're tempted to give into controlling behavior,

there'll be some kind of lie there, some fear, possibly even a stronghold.

If you recognize I am a really controlling person, right?

There's probably more stronghold level rather than just temptation level.

And this is just a really helpful set of questions, prompts to sit with God, right?

And this is what we don't take the time to do, is actually just sit.

With God.

And if you like, if you want a PDF of this, come and see me.

I can email it to you.

I'll put it, post it up on church center and make it available

in different ways and means.

Um, but if you go through this, I mean, I did this last night and it

was so liberating and it's so often if you take the time to sit with

God with this stuff, invite him into it, what he actually shows you.

He is often very different from what you think the core problem is.

And you're like, and when you see it, when he shows it to you, reveal

it, you're like, oh, oh, oh, oh.

And so that sort of, for me with this I love church, it was like, oh

yeah, I didn't think it was that.

I thought I, I thought they were the problem.

I'll say.

Uh, can we have the next slide?

So identify, it says a process.

Identify the lie.

Then you replace it with the truth.

What is the truth in this situation that actually answers this fear

or this lie, this guilt, this shame, this condemnation, this.

Desire to control that I've got, what's the, what's the actual

truth that's gonna ground me?

Again, sit here.

Don't just immediately go with your first assumption because you need,

allow the spirit to reveal the truth that you need to take hold of the

truth that you're not taking hold of.

Sometimes that can be a surprise too often.

Uh, sorry.

The next slide, confess, repent and give thanks.

Just a process there to go through because this part is really important.

Doesn't do you any good just to see it's go.

You've gotta confess.

What, what this lie has cost, why you have held onto it.

Acknowledge the ways that it's sinful.

Yeah.

We are a little bit too therapeutic sometimes in the

church and a little bit too there.

There.

Rather than going, oh my gosh, God, this is how I have sinned

against you by believing this and actually own it for what it is.

And then repent.

Turn from it.

What am I turning from?

What am I turning to?

And then next slide there.

Dumb.

Obedience.

This is really key too 'cause it's, it's great that this thing, this all

happens here in an emotional and mental and cognitive way, spiritual way.

But if it doesn't actually outwork in changing how you

love and live and serve others.

It's like, well, what's the point?

Right?

Um, so how, how am I gonna walk differently in the light of this

truth that I've now taken hold of?

How am I gonna love my neighbor?

How am I gonna love God more because of this?

How am I gonna love my neighbor because I've been set free in this place?

What's this tangibly gonna look like?

Next one, and community, who might, this is so important.

Who is God asking me to share this with?

This confession with, you wanna smash this stuff dead?

You bring it into the light and you share it with another person, no

matter how ridiculous it sounds.

Yeah.

No matter how lame you think you might be for fearing something, you know,

you, you confess it, you bring the light into it, and it's amazing, the

power to see it crucified in your life.

All right.

Just as we bring this to a close, um, one thing I wanted to quickly touch on,

one of the things we are tempted to do in the church is to try and control God.

I really felt prompted to share this this morning.

Okay?

And we try and control God through the way we pray.

We try and control God through our fasting, through our serving, through our

church attendance, by being a nice person.

Um, and then stuff happens.

How do we know we've been trying to control God?

'cause something will happen, doesn't go your way.

And you go, but God, I did all of this stuff for you.

And when we try and control God, it will shipwreck our faith.

Right.

We can't control God.

Okay, don't use, and we go, but that person prayed and then

God did that thing for them.

Yeah.

The point of prayer isn't to control God and get him on board with your plans.

All right.

The place we need to start at, when we recognizing this stuff in

ourselves, we recognize these places of temptation and fear and anxiety.

This is why it's so important to connect with our feelings.

We don't get led by them, but we allow them to reveal the story that's

going on in us, and we actually take the time to pause long enough and go.

What's going on in my body right now.

So that was me on Friday night and going, Ooh, this whoa, yucky

stuff going on in here, right?

So we invite God into that space.

We don't go, I've gotta deal with this yucky feelings

first, and then God will come.

No, no, no, no, no.

I clearly, I need the peace of God right now.

All right, so your place of distress, your place of discomfort,

dis-ease, place of fear and anxiety.

Invite God into that space and start there.

Start there.

He wants to bring his peace to you.

He is both able and willing, right?

He doesn't need to be coerced to come and bring you comfort and

peace in your place of distress.

And he's not going, oh, pathetic human.

You really worried about that?

He's, he's a good dad.

He is full of grace and mercy and compassion.

Now, what he might have to say to you in the midst of it might be hard and

difficult to hear and humbling, but it's always gonna be from a place of

compassion and kindness and grace.

So invite him into that space.

All right.

And the other thing we gotta do to is remind ourselves the truth of the gospel.

Yeah.

We gotta remember, okay, we don't need to perform in order to earn.

It goes back to what, um, Adam was saying at the beginning of the service.

You're safe in him, your home in.

Because of what he has done.

Okay.

Not because of what you do.

And so remember the truths of the gospel.

There is no situation that isn't under control.

God's sovereign control because Christ now rules over all things

for the sake of his bride.

Yeah.

And that has been proved at the cross.

He now rules over all things.

He is sovereign over all things, even death.

The thing that we ultimately can't control at all, right?

That can strike terror into the hearts of people.

He is sovereign over all of it.

And the other truth, not only is the situation under the sovereignty of God,

he is at work in all of it, doing the good that he has promised to do, and

you can rest in that so you don't need.

To control.

You can yield to his will.

You can wa you can walk the uncomfortable narrowness of his ways.

Knowing all will be well, all shall be well 'cause he is sovereign over it all.

Amen.

Amen.

All right.