The Way of Jesus 10.0

So yeah, we're continuing on this idea of the burden of the Lord.

So God shares his heart for the world's brokenness with us so that we can

participate in Jesus's redemptive work.

That's really what we're meaning by the burden of the Lord.

And we, we'll leave each have this unique sense of calling assignment

burden, however you wanna phrase it.

It's our particular way, according to our place and time, our unique gifting wiring,

that God is calling us to participate in his redemptive work in the world.

And so our focus to.

Day is one thing that can keep us from receiving or stewarding the burden

of the Lord, is that we are, when we are weighed down by our own personal

burdens, to the point that God's burden in us is pushed out to the

margins or isn't even in the margins.

It's just not even a reality in our worlds.

And so key thought for us today is that our posture, so whether we adopt a. Victim

or a victor posture will determine our capacity to carry the burden of the Lord.

So just follow that one away and we're gonna dive a bit deeper into it.

So our passage of scripture that we are drawing from today is

this, from Romans 8 37 to 39.

So Paul riding to the church in Rome says no in all these things.

So what does he mean by all these things?

So what he is referred to previously to this is persecution and suffering

and danger and sword and nakedness.

Like that's how many people were like naked.

This is, I, I just go like maybe facing humiliation.

That might be a 'cause.

Not a lot of us here are struggling with nakedness.

Um.

No.

In all these things, danger, hardship, persecution, whatever it might

be, we are what we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, angels, demons, neither the present

future, nor any powers nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,

we'll be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus, our Lord.

So if we just do a quick zoom out.

On what Paul is saying here, the context into which he is writing.

Okay, so Paul is writing to the church in Rome.

All right?

This is a church that is suffering.

Under persecution, but also internal divisions and factions because there's

Jews and Gentiles all trying to figure out how to get along together.

And so he needs this church to understand something really important because

what is Paul's burden of the Lord?

Paul's burden of the Lord is to see the gospel advance to

the ends of the earth, right?

To see the church rise up and to be a witness for Jesus Christ in the world.

This is a thing that fuels Paul, that enables him to survive ship.

Bricks and beatings and imprisonment, and he just relentlessly keeps moving forward.

But for in order for him to complete his mission, to fulfill his purpose, his

burden of the Lord, he needs the church to be all that God has called her to be.

So he is saying, church in all these hardships that are coming

against you, you are not victims.

You are.

You are overcomers.

You are more than conquerors, so don't let these hardships define you.

Don't let them distract you because they don't tell you who you are in Christ.

You are a victor in Christ.

You are an overcomer.

You are a conqueror.

None of these.

Things define who you are, don't get distracted by them from the main

mission, from the burden of the Lord.

And so he touches on a couple of really key themes that are

important for us to understand.

And we've got this next slide up here, Sabrina.

So he's talking about salvation.

So what is, what is Paul's perspective of salvation?

So what we learn.

And what we are assured of in Romans eight, because one of the key things

Paul wants to do in through this part of the book of Romans is to give a

deep assurance to the people of God that God has got them, despite what is

coming against them, God has got them.

So it's about giving them.

Assurance.

And so what we learn and assure it of in Romans eight is that our

salvation is, yes, it is a rescue from death and everything that leads

to death, but it also encompasses the salvation of all creation

through our individual salvations.

Our salvation is not that we're saved from the world, but rather

we are saved for the world.

Salvation does not merely involve transitioning from earth to heaven.

Instead, it transforms us into instruments who bring heaven to earth.

Our burden of the Lord is the unique way in this time and place and season

that we have been called to do that.

He's also speaking then to identity and purpose.

So the gospel means we are now God's children restored to right relationship

with him to fulfill the Genesis one purpose for which we were created to

be image bearers, dwelling with him and representing his will here on earth.

All right, so one thing that can keep us from receiving or stewarding the burden

of the Lord is when we are weighed down by our own burdens, to the point that God's

burden is pushed to the margins when we forget that we are more than conquerors.

When we have failed to apprehend our identity as victors as overcomers,

and it's the same root word.

You'll see the word victor.

You'll see the word overcomer throughout the New Testament.

Same root word as conqueror here that Paul uses in Romans

a. And so just that key insight.

Again, I mentioned at the beginning, our posture victim or Victor determines our

capacity to carry the burden of the Lord.

And so this really hit me at Women's Retreat.

Okay, so this moment on the final Sunday morning at Women's Retreat and Amy Talbot

from Paradox, she was, uh, teaching and ministering over the weekend and.

I didn't notice this until the Sunday morning.

She kept using this word overcomer.

Overcomer, and it wasn't, and she kept, you know, reminding

everybody that's who they are.

You're an overcomer.

You're an overcomer.

And it wasn't till the Sunday morning that I actually noticed my internal reaction

to that word, which was one of resistance.

Right.

Some of you might have noticed that in yourself, as I started

to use the word victor, overcomer more than conqueror, right?

And mm, just a hazard.

A guess.

You may have come out of more charismatic Pentecostal church backgrounds where

these terms can be used very strongly shouted loudly and often, but often can

lack a little bit of substance underneath.

And that had been that that was my resistance to this word.

I'm going, man, I had that word shoved down my throat for years.

Uh, and it didn't, it just, it didn't seem to really mean, it didn't seem

to give me any assurance or strength.

It was just something that was shouted a lot.

You're an overcomer, you're an over, like if we just shouted it enough

for people, they would somehow get it and then they wouldn't have

any more problems in their lives.

Um, it doesn't run.

That's not what Paul is talking about here.

So I started paying attention to this resistance in me

going, what is that about?

Because actually it is true.

Paul says, we are.

And then I started to see the problem.

If we do not believe this, if we do not believe this about ourselves, and

if we do not believe this about one another, and this is what really hit

home to me, is how often we fail to see the others in our world as overcomers.

And we treat each other like victims.

And instead of having faith-filled, hope filled expectation and compassion

for one another in our suffering, we just dissolve into pity and they're

there and go, this is so hard for you.

This is so unfair.

And we just boo-hoo with one another and it's not.

Right.

That life isn't hard and life doesn't kick us in the guts over and over again.

Right?

But what is our expectation about what is in each other and our

capacity that through the love of God and the spirit of the living Jesus

Christ, who is in each one of us.

To overcome everything that would come against us.

Do we expect that we will overcome every hardship?

Do we expect that the others in our midst because the life of Christ is

in them, that they have every resource within them to overcome every hardship

and stay faithful to the mission and the person of Jesus Christ?

Do we carry that expectation for one another or have we given

way to the culture of the age?

All right.

So impact of living in a Victor identity, it changes our expectation

of life and of God and of others.

It reframes personal burdens into their right perspective.

It frees us to carry God burdens for others and for the world.

So just a quick slide.

Um, the connection between burden and identity for a moment.

So to carry God's burden, we must live from the identity he has given us.

Overcomer not victim.

The burden of the Lord is not just for world changes, though

I want you to hear this, right?

But it's also for everyday roles.

You can be right.

You can carry the burden of the Lord to be the best parent,

godly God honoring parent, right?

It's not about, you know, changing nations, right?

Changing nation by just sowing Jesus into your kids at home and creating

a home of life and joy and peace.

Okay?

So don't just automatically hear these words of overcomer and

burden of the Lord and think it's.

Gotta be on some global national scale, right?

It might be for you, praise the Lord, but it might be to just be faithful

in the little patch here right now.

Bringing heaven to earth in your home, in your school, in your

friendships, whatever it might be.

So if my own personal burdens dominate my heart and my mind, I, if I'm a victim to

my own pains, hurting wound and wounds, I have little room to embrace God's.

Burdens.

And you know what we, what you saw in those people who shared last week,

what did you see beyond their words?

You saw life and you saw passion, and you saw something bigger

than themselves being expressed.

And it brought them peace and joy and expectation and hope.

And it's not that their burdens are easy, right?

But they, these burns of the Lord always give us life.

They're always life giving and identity shapes capacity.

This final point, the victor can lift their eyes beyond their own challenges.

The victim remains weighed down.

All right, so Luke, so

yes.

Hi Luke.

Welcome to the conversation.

Sorry my friend.

No, no, no.

That's all right.

Um, so let us talk about a moment, a moment about the culture of the

world we live in and how it can tempt us to take up more of an identity,

a victim identity, than a Victor

one.

Yeah.

I'd probably wanna start with, okay, what are, what are the needs of the human.

Like, and I think the victim, victim sort of victimhood hood culture

that we experienced today, I think most of us would agree that there

is, there is this elevation of the victim in our culture, uh, today.

And so like this imagination of the, this selfless hero has diminished and now the

champion of our culture is the victim.

Um, and I think, I think what the culture's doing in short is

it's attempting to find peace.

It's trying to attempt to find fulfillment and unity without God.

And so what it, what's the, the cry of the human heart?

Well, the cry of the human heart is to be known, to be received, to be accepted.

We desire connection.

We desire intimacy and affirmation.

A life that's worthy of living.

That's what we desire.

We all ache for that.

And these God given, um, longings when answered in Christ, oh my word, we,

we enter into a place that I wanna describe as Shalom or the Garden

Eden, to be with God in perfect unity.

And the posture, posture of that, the victimhood culture.

It's as old as humanity.

You know, we start in the garden with Adam and Eve deflecting and blaming.

Uh, then we move on to Cain and Abel.

That ended well, didn't it?

Uh, and then even in Abram and Sarah's story, um.

And this all stems from this erosion or this, this leaving

this life of trusting in God.

It's the departing from this unity that we have in God in him.

And when we adopt that, that victim narrative, we embrace something.

I think that's somewhat partially true.

There's a longing there, but ultimately, without God, it's powerless.

To fulfill us, to bring us peace.

So for example, let me just give you an example of where we've ended up.

I love history and I love understanding how we got here.

Uh, whether it's the church or the culture, I love the context of that.

It gives us insight.

In the sixties and seventies, we had the sexual liberation.

And what did that give us?

What shaped a mindset that actually restraint is oppressive?

This is, this is what we've adopted, that any form of restraint or guidelines

or holding back from seeking our pleasures is oppression, isn't it?

And then where does that flow into it?

It flows into, uh, in the west the pursuit of no fault, fault divorce laws where

if ha happiness fades, what can we do?

Bye, I'll go pursue happiness somewhere else.

And then we move into the highest abortion rates the world has ever

seen in the eighties and nineties.

Uh.

If a child hinders my pleasure, I can just be rid of it.

Our culture now views the restriction on personal identity, whether in

marriage or gender as equaling hate.

This is where we've ended up with a posture of victimhood.

Apart from God and um, and you and I might not identify with those

specifics, like those particular examples, but that's all to say that the

temptation for us to use victimhood for self-justification is really universal.

It is something that, that culture today is desiring to push.

Um, so consider for yourself, let's not look outward, but

let's look inward for a moment.

Consider yourself like, where was the last offense in your life,

in your heart, in your mind?

Was it that person cutting you off in traffic,

Dale?

Oh no, not me.

Never.

And the epitome of patience on the roads.

There's practically a halo over my car.

Yeah,

I say that one 'cause you've mentioned it quite a few times.

Yeah, no, not at

all.

Or was it, was it your boss saying no to you?

Or was it your spouse correcting you on something or a friend pulling you aside

and saying, Hey, that behavior's not okay.

Where was it?

Or was it in the church community that, that we have not lived

up to your expectations?

Where's that offense?

Where's that, where's that temptation to come and use

victimhood to self justify, to blame?

You know, and, and, and all this is really laying on the bare rock of

that we have fallen for the belief as victims, that the ultimate state of

the human is pleasure and happiness.

And that's not true.

We're not promised.

Happiness or pleasure?

Are we in fact, in, in scripture?

Does it, does it promise us that?

Does it, does it promise us that in Christ we'll have no worries, we'll have no pain,

we'll have no sufferings, of course not.

And in life, we're not promised that we're, you know, that we're gonna be

given a life of complete happiness.

Um, so without mercy and grace.

This narrative without mercy and grace and without the love of God, the inner

victim, which I've seen within our culture, tends to fall back on themselves.

They look inwardly as opposed to actually being open to welcoming correction wisdom.

We have a big problem with that within our society.

We are not open to wisdom and correction, and I think that's seeped within to

the culture of the church as well.

We retreat into denial, distraction, blame, and I wanna also say that I

have felt a temptation to reside in resentment as a place to soothe myself.

I don't know if you've experienced that as well, have you?

That, that temptation to self justify, deny blame, others hold

resentment as a protection mechanism.

Right?

And, um, I wanna say that the church is missing out on things here as well.

That in fact, the truth is this, that in this narrative of Vic Victimhood

that we all swim in is this, that in our sufferings, we actually

join in with the life of Christ.

That our sufferings are actually an o opportunity to walk into

the life and experience Christ.

Have you ever framed it that way, that your pain, your rejection, Asiah 50

53 describes the Messiah as, as one who is what despised and rejected.

A man of suffering, familiar with pain, and I wanna say that if we can,

if we can open ourselves to experience grief, rejection, and loss as a

sharing in the story of Christ, oh wow.

Then happiness and pleasure become these wonderful little gifts that

we can have on the way through life.

Yeah.

So I wanna reframe it.

I want to help reframe it for us within the church as we look out into

the culture that, yes, as Dale said, we start as victims to sin and death.

But that's not the story.

The story doesn't end there.

The story ends with the victory of Christ over sin and death, and that

we can receive his victory, we can share in that victory with him.

Dale,

very good.

Um, yeah, so I think just to, I guess maybe just to summarize

what Luke has said there.

So in our culture, and you don't have to look very hard for it, right?

Is this exultation of the victim?

Yeah.

Right.

Because it's, our culture has shifted from what is my responsibilities in

our culture to what are my rights?

Yes.

Right.

And that is the, the posture of the victim is what is my rights?

How am I being treated and who's at fault and what's everybody else

gonna do about it to make sure that my rights are guaranteed?

My rights my way, my, my, my, my, my, my mine.

Is it Finding Nemo?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The um, you know, the, yeah, yeah.

The seagulls.

Mine.

Mine.

My, my rights.

My rights.

My rights.

So one at the moment that is relevant.

Mm. You know, store the stir the pot, but why not?

Um, is, you know, wa looking to change its surrogacy laws.

Yeah.

Have I seen that unfold over the past week or so?

So that, um, members of the L-G-B-T-Q-I-A.

Community, um, can have access to same, um, access to the same IVF treatments

and surrogacy, um, services, oh gosh, as, um, a heterosexual couple.

Right.

And so how, how is the media going about how are politicians going about

getting that bill passed is to parade.

The victims, the, the wonderful, you know, gay men who are being deprived

of having children of their own.

And then what is, what is the posture they're, they're trying to elicit from

people is, oh, we should feel sorry for them and we all need to just do

what we can to make sure that they get their needs and their wants met.

But nobody's asking where is anybody talking about the rights of a child?

You know, in all of this, it's just the rights of the victim.

Yeah, yeah.

Because this is what our culture has done.

Nobody's going, where is the responsibility here?

And it's a massive shift in a culture.

It erodes a culture, right?

When people shift from a posture of what am I responsible for?

To what am I rights?

Oh, it's just, it just.

Dumbs a culture down makes us so, so immature, and it's one of the,

you know, we talk about this series.

There is a way that seems right to man, but in the end it leads to death, right?

This way that seems right in our culture is this way of getting my own

needs met first, getting my rights met.

That's where the good life is found.

But the way of Jesus is no you.

Meet the needs of the other you, other you care for the other.

And in that you will find the life that you so desperately are looking for.

Um, and so it is this blame culture.

And like Luke said, we see it right at the beginning in the garden, Adam and Eve.

What happens?

They stuff up.

God.

God says, where are you?

And he starts having a conversation with 'em about what they've done and what

are the first thing they start doing?

Blaming each other.

Blaming the serpent.

It was a serpent.

And then Adam, it was the woman You put here with me, God, he does

a double blame in one sentence.

Go, Adam, well done.

And that's what it does.

Right.

That's what sin does.

Turns us into victims, and it causes us to point the finger

rather than taking responsibility.

And then we're enslaved.

We're ensnared.

And so this is just a natural posture of the human heart

that we can easily give into.

Yeah.

And anybody's raised a child for five seconds.

We'll see it in their children, but that.

Horrible toxic thing in our culture today is we now elevate this.

And so the victims now are the ones who are elevated in society.

They are the ones who are morally untouchable.

Nobody can contradict a victim.

They are the ones that held up that we all now in the search for the human

heart and an ache for righteousness.

'cause we all long for righteousness.

How does the world find it now?

Finds it by identifying with.

Victims.

Yeah.

So this is where virtue signaling comes in.

Okay.

So I now find a victim that I can identify with, and I now have a

sense of righteousness because I'm doing something good by identifying

with, and we continue to promote.

The narrative of, and it does horrible things to people.

To who?

Who have had horrible things done to them.

It does.

So don't mishear me in all of this.

There are people who have been genuinely victimized.

Yeah.

Who have suffered unjustly in the world.

But we do people a disservice who have suffered by encouraging them into a

victim mindset to say that there is poor you, and to just douse them in pity.

Yeah.

All right, let's move on from that.

Very good.

Actually, let's summarize it this way.

We've got a slide.

Slides are good.

Uh, next slide.

Okay.

Victim or Victor, how do I know the difference?

So, victim posture, inward focused, consumed by my own personal struggles,

what everybody else has done.

To me, expectations are shaped by disappointment.

Hmm, that's an interesting one.

Limited capacity to love others as well, because you're so consumed with what

has been done to you, and this is key.

The most important thing about somebody who is.

Trapped in a victim mindset.

And this is not to condemn anyone or cause shame or judgment.

All right?

These are just ways we learn to cope in this world.

And you know, we framed this whole series around like Proverbs 14, which

says There is a way that seems right to men, but in the end it leads to death.

These are just ways that we can get.

Tempted to believe mindsets that we can be tempted to take hold of thinking that

they're gonna lead us to the good life.

But they don't.

They do the opposite.

They rob us of life.

And so for those who are trapped, and this has been me, and early on in my

Christian walk, it was like, oh my.

And the good Lord opened my eyes and it was a fairly

disturbing moment when he did.

And I saw this mindset that I had adopted.

Um, and it was, yeah, it wasn't very pretty.

Um, the most important thing about you is what has been done to you.

Okay?

So we, when, when you're trapped in a victim mindset, and this is where church

can be really, really tricky, right?

And this is what happened to me.

So I'm putting it out there just in case it's relevant for any of you.

So I learned early on.

So I was somebody who was, you know, just desperate to be seen.

You know, I came from like, so just loneliness and rejection.

I succumb to Christ.

I come into this church community.

Oh, they're Christians.

They have to care about me, and you learn.

And I didn't know I was doing this early on.

But I learned that, oh, if I've got an issue or problem,

then Christians care about you.

So I better keep having problems and that better become the

most important thing about me.

I better be keep showing up with deep wounds that I can show to

other people so that they can get care and attention from them.

Okay?

We can all fall prey to this in different ways, shapes, or forms, right?

And it's that cry of the heart just to be seen.

But then God showed me how I was manipulating people.

By doing this, by always having a problem, by always having an issue.

Good.

Christian, you must care for me.

But then what also happens, right?

You start to suck the life outta people.

Yeah.

And then you start to get the very opposite of what you desperately

crave because you become a bottomless pit and people see you coming and

they're just like, oh my gosh, I dunno what to do with this.

Well of need in this person.

Different levels of maturity in the church.

And then you feel rejected and then you go, people don't care.

And it's all just a little toxic web.

Anyway, that one was for free.

So Victor Posture anchored in Christ's finish work, sees challenges through

the lens of God's ultimate victory, carries hope for self and for others.

And the most important thing about you is what has been done for you.

The most important thing about you is what has been done for you, and that's

exactly what Paul is talking about when he says, you are more than conquerors

through Jesus Christ who loved you.

That's why you are not because of your own good self, but 'cause of who loves

you and what he has done for you.

So just some self-diagnostic questions here.

Where are my thoughts most of the time?

Are they on my own struggles, my own offenses, my own wounds?

Or are they on God's power purposes and promises?

Yeah.

Whew.

Makes a night and day difference to the posture of your heart.

Do I expect God to work through me despite hardship?

Or do I wait for life to improve first?

Oh man, we can get really trapped in that second part of that one,

and that's just a hopeless spiral.

But when we hope that eager expectation that God is able,

not just able, he's willing.

Um, how do I view others in their struggles?

Do I view them as capable in Christ or do I view them as just stuck in

their hardship and in their suffering?

Because you know what?

If I'm going through something deep, I need you to have a hope

filled expectation that Christ will be victorious in my suffering.

Amen.

That is the very best thing that you can give to me is your genuine

hope filled expectation that Christ will be glorified in my suffering.

Because when you are going through really hard things, yes, compassion

is good, and empathy is good.

Sometimes the pity can get a little bit much right, but what I

really need when my own strength is failing, when I have no hope of my

own, I need you to give it to me.

Yeah, by you having a faith filled expectation that Christ will

be glorified in your suffering.

And I'm not just saying that as the right Christian thing to say.

I'm saying it because I've lived it myself.

So let my testimony help you overcome.

How do they overcome by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony as

we sow our testimonies into one another.

Yes.

All right.

Sorry Luke, I'm gonna include you again in the conversation.

Um, all right, so Luke came across something just this week.

Just gone.

And I thought it was very helpful for what we're talking about.

Um, and so this thing that Luke, um, was learning about was

these four types of core wounds.

That we can all carry, and that if we do not find healing in them, they will

cause us to be stuck in a victim posture rather than that overcome a posture.

And when we get stuck in that victim posture, we, we have no

room for the burden of the Lord.

We just become all about our wound and our pain.

So let's have a look at these.

Shall we, Luke?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So we're gonna play a fun little game that, um, I wanna call,

uh, you know, discovering Mike.

Core wound.

Um, so everyone, everyone, that's gonna be great.

We're locking the doors.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then, or maybe

we could guess each other's.

That'd be fun.

Yeah, that's

right.

Yeah.

Let's, we could do Slido.

Yeah.

We could do Slido.

Yeah.

And have each name up.

Yeah.

And we all take turns.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So when I go through them, I want you to be open.

'cause I mean, as I was sort of reflecting, I went to a, an open lecture.

And this lady was talking about these four corn wounds that are taken, taken

from the Garden of Eden narrative.

Um, and actually came about by a, um, by, um, a, a. I think he's a

psychotherapist and, um, and theologian, and he proposes that, that these are

four core wounds that we operate from, um, because of our separation from God.

And so what you, I want you to be open and just sort of be open to the

fact that God's gonna identify one.

One core one.

Mm. Because you're all gonna, you're all gonna go, oh, yeah.

I can see that in myself.

That itself.

But be open to what is the one that's really sticking out to you, because then

we're gonna have a bit of time at the end just to reflect and pray, uh, into that.

Awesome.

Are you ready?

Yes.

So, so good.

Alright, our first one is rejection.

And, um, now I want, I want you to, to see what's going on here.

These four.

Core wounds actually stem from, um, core needs and desires.

Okay.

And, and these are in response because we have not had these needs met.

Yeah.

In our separation and our distance in perfect unity in

the father, son and spirit.

Okay.

So the result is a need for attention, and I'm talking about excessive attention.

Uh, uh, quite a needy disposition.

Um, the negative awareness, this is what's going on in the

background, is I do not count.

I am overlooked.

The lies that we believe that we adopt in this core wound is I'm not important.

I have no value and I'm not desired.

And then we begin to speak vows over ourselves.

So we adopt the lie and then we speak vows or commitment to that lie.

I will never let myself be rejected by anyone.

I will meet everyone's else's needs and please them so that

I will be liked and needed.

So there's two extremes going on there that people can respond

to that core wound of rejection.

I will isolate myself, I'll withdraw.

I will not get close to others, I will not be vulnerable, or I

will go into people pleasing.

Uh, the truth is that Jesus will never reject you.

Amen.

John six, for all those that the father gives me will come to me and I will

not reject anyone who comes to me.

That's the truth.

Our second core wound is abandonment.

And abandonment is, um, the result is a need for obviously affection.

Um, self-indulgence, self me medication, and becoming these, becoming

coping me mechanisms because I feel like I'm not receiving affection.

The negative awareness is I'm not connected, I'm not loved.

The lie believed is I am all alone.

No one understands or cares for me.

And then the vows that we begin to say to ourselves is, I will

net not never get close to anyone.

I have to grasp for my own needs.

So there's that sense that abandonment is actually, or

the pit of abandonment is this.

So desperate need to be welcomed into community, and the response

is to remove myself from.

I, so there's this self-fulfilling prophecy in this wound.

Um, I have to grasp for my own needs.

I will fill my emptiness with food, sex, drugs, or work.

And the truth is, Jesus will not leave you nor forsake you.

And it says that in Hebrews, I will never leave you nor

forsake you The third core wound.

Uh, that was identified as helplessness.

And this is, this is a deep need for approval, um, often paired

with a sense of self-hatred ness.

And so we've all got that inner critic.

We've all got that, that little voice within us.

But for some of us, that void is very loud and it dominates our thinking.

Okay, and this would be a response to that helplessness wound, negative awareness.

I'm not competent.

I'm not good enough.

The lies believed.

I don't know what to do.

I can't change it.

I'm a failure.

I feel trapped, and the vows made.

I will prove myself.

I'll not fail or I will never show up.

So I'll either try my hardest and try to push myself to prove myself, or

I'll be apathetic and just not try.

The truth is in that, is that, um, God is the one that strengthens us, says I can

do all things in him who strengthens me.

That we don't need, we don't need to find that strength in ourselves.

We can.

It's actually given to us by our beloved Heavenly Father.

Okay.

And then the F final wound is fear, and that's a need for.

Affirmation and it causes feelings of isolation.

The negative awareness is I have no courage.

I will have to do it all myself.

And the lies believed is if I trust I will be hurt.

Something bad will happen.

And so again, this is this closing off mechanism.

This I will not have intimacy with this other person because it's too vulnerable.

I can be hurt here.

The vows made are, I will take all kinds of risks to show that I'm not afraid.

I'm not going to do anything to risk, so that you've got the both.

And there, I'll either be ridiculous and be too risky, or I will not risk

anything because I will just get hurt.

So that play it safe, that protection, the walls, that sense

of control in our relationships.

And the truth is I am vulnerable.

I am weak.

Yeah.

So I can be affirmed by another.

You can actually have your weakness be made strong in another, in Isaiah 41.

Do not fear for I'm with you.

Do not be afraid for.

I'm your God.

I will strengthen you, I will help you, and I will uphold you with my right hand.

That makes things right.

And Jesus, for each of these, gives a response and answers

this in various passages.

And I'm not gonna go into them, but I'm just gonna say this.

He meets rejection with an invitation to be intimate with God.

He meets abandonment with his presence.

The promise of the Holy Spirit, that God is with us, we're not abandoned.

He welcomes us into that core wound or from that core wound of helplessness

into co-creating or co-laboring with him.

And then fourthly, fear with, ah, come meet my father.

You can trust him.

This is the invitation and in the Sermon of the Mount, Jesus actually

gives us some really, really valuable spiritual disciplines that you and

I are invited into to find freedom and healing in these core wounds.

And I'll just, I'll give you three.

The first one is everyone's favorite, and that's fasting.

Oh, no one nodded.

Did anyone nod?

Anyone loves fasting?

Yeah.

Ooh, nice Jane.

That was like three more than what I thought would put their hands up.

F what fasting does, what does it do?

It turns our eyes off ourself to him.

Yeah.

The second bit of advice Jesus gives in the Sermon of Mount is to give

generously to those who are in need.

So the first one, fasting.

Eyes upon the father in heaven, the second eyes from myself to others.

And then the third is prayer, which is intimacy with God.

And these are the answers, or these are the, the spiritual directions

that Christ gives us in the Sermon of the Mount, fasting, generosity

of those in need and prayer.

So good.

Very, very good.

So as we've looked at those four things there, perhaps one

was very, very clear to you.

Um, or perhaps you've gone, oh my gosh, I've got all of them.

I'm just a walking wound now in some way, shape, or form.

Right.

We we're all gonna struggle with.

All of these four.

Right.

But there will be one.

Mm-hmm.

Usually one that is your stronghold, that your is your place of deepest pain.

That is the one where if it gets poked, your system just gets flooded and it is

that you go into fight, flight, freeze.

Fawn, whatever other F there is, right?

You just have that reactionary response like when your knee gets hit, you,

you know that reflex and you're like, whoa, why am I behaving like that?

It's probably 'cause that wound just got poked, and that's

usually the way to identify.

For me, it's rejection.

That has been my biggest one and my journey of experiencing

freedom and liberation from it, and oh my gosh, it is a glorious.

Thing when the good Lord set you free from these strongholds and these bondages

because they are horrible burdens to uh, to be under that rule that they rule

you and they just destroy relationships.

You can't trust other people.

You can't get close to other people.

'cause these wounds scream so loud ears just through prayer and confession

and just being honest with those around me, going, I'm feeling this.

I know this sounds ridiculous, but, and confe this space of confession.

And prayer.

Incredibly powerful.

But the other thing I want you to reflect on as we think about these is.

Maybe someone else came to mind for you through this, and this has been, um, I

guess maybe the most profound part of this journey for me as I've been reflecting

on this area of victim or victor and this space of wounds is going, I'm starting

to think about the people who are really giving me the, its right now, right?

The people that I find myself tipping into a fence and resentment

really quite easily over, and then going, oh, I wonder what they weed.

Is some of them, I actually know their stories, and so it's just

like, oh yeah, you know, their wound.

So I such a judgmental.

Um, and then I start to think about, oh my gosh, no wonder there

the compassion that comes, right?

Rather than judgment and frustration and resentment.

Oh my gosh.

Just, you know, if these, this, the word wound is actually

a really good word, right?

Because if people actually manifested externally mm-hmm.

In some gaping hole, a rejection wound, we would all just innately

have compassion, wouldn't we?

We would all innately just treat them accordingly because they've got their

gaping wound, they're bleeding out.

And we would tend to them accordingly.

But this stuff is all in the heart, isn't it?

And so we don't have, some of us, some of us not some of you're very compassionate

and understanding and gracious people.

Some of us struggle to get there.

We get there a little slower than the rest of you.

But to see people in that like this, this is a wound.

How would I treat them if this was a gaping flesh wound, right?

Mm-hmm.

I would have care and I would understanding and I would

do what I could to help.

Right.

And this is no different at the end of the day.

And when we come with that posture of compassion, that's when we become a

vessel for healing in the life of another.

But when we just respond outta frustration, right?

Because often people will respond immaturely when this is their wound, okay?

And their responses think in marriage, right?

Doesn't they?

You only be married five seconds before you start pushing each other's wounds and.

So much the better.

If we have compassion on one another rather than going, well, that's really

immature, why don't you just grow up?

And that never really helped anyone did it.

But if we have compassion and understanding, understand why the other

behaves that way, we are far more likely to be that, uh, vessel of grace that

will actually be healing for another.

And so, um, you know, as we just bring this home, because I just wanna

give you some questions just to sit with, um, yeah, my, my, the thing I

really felt strongly about as we, um, presented this topic tonight was yes.

That perhaps if you felt recognized that you are in a place of

stuckness with one of these wounds.

And this wounds really has a really strong.

You know, voice in your life, a really strong controlling presence, a enslaving

presence in a way that, uh, you would have that opportunity to maybe identify

it in a clear way, but then also that permission to just to just come and

ask us to pray with you and to go on a journey of healing in this space.

So this thing doesn't occupy your world in this enormous sense.

And that it's not blocking out the blessing of having a burden from the Lord.

Right.

And it doesn't, you're not constantly bumping up against

people and being offended or, or running away and self-protecting.

Right.

And, and isolating from community.

'cause you're so scared of getting hurt again because you don't

know that you're an overcomer.

You've forgotten that.

Right.

And this is all overcomeable in the name of Jesus in you.

Um, and I was thinking this, this particular person,

couple came to mind and.

Um, for me as I was reflecting on this, who just for me embodied this overcoming

journey from a place of deep wounding and deep pain and, um, known these

people for a good couple of decades now and dial it back a couple of decades.

Um.

You know, the one of them, um, was just profoundly crushed in ministry

profoundly, um, to complete breakdown level emotional, spiritual, mental,

physical breakdown, and, um.

And in a sense, yes, there was a sense, a bit of a perfect storm.

Their own brokenness just in that and just meeting the, A church

culture that wasn't helpful for them in their particular brokenness.

There wasn't, they were a victim in a sense, and it

crushed the life out of them.

Mm-hmm.

But what I watched in this couple was this utter resolve

that the wound would not win.

And uh, the journey of healing was long and it was painful.

But the resolve in them that I will not.

Forsake the gathering of the saints that I will keep showing up even though

everything within my body is screaming at me to isolate, to quit on the

church because it is too hard and it is too painful that resolve in them.

And so that, what that meant was they would come on a Sunday and

for the first however long it would be, they make it to the front door.

But that was it.

Then it would all just all just become too overwhelming.

But then they managed to get a foot in the door, and that was enough for that Sunday.

And then it was okay, we managed to stay for five minutes or worst year, right?

And it was this slow journey, but it was this resolve.

The wound is not gonna win.

It is not gonna become the most important thing about me.

And I watched them fight year in and year out to overcome this.

Such brokenness and now, oh my gosh, the capacity of these people to carry the

burden of the Lord, to be so and light in this world, to take the light of Christ to

places where it's so desperately needed.

They were broken.

They were so broken, but they never quit, but they were

overcomers and they didn't just.

Shouted at themselves.

They lived it.

They daily bore the burden of being an overcomer, and they showed

up and they trusted that even though it seemed hopeless, that

God would make a way, and he did.

And now they carry the burden of the Lord and they are just.

They're my heroes.

Right?

And maybe you think of people like that too.

People who you've watched them overcome the most horrendous circumstances in

the name of Jesus and they now have gone on to glorify God in all they've do.

They've not been victims.

They have had every right to be You.

Think of those people you know, you have had every right to be a victim.

Life has just dealt, you blow out to blow, but you keep getting up.

And you keep trusting that in the name of Jesus that you will overcome because

you have a burden from the Lord to carry and you are not a victim and you

are made for greater things than this.

And this thing will not become the most important thing about you,

but the victory of Christ will be the most important thing about you.

And it won't just be lip service, but it'll be testified to the way that you

live and the way that you overcome.

Because life, maybe life hasn't come for you yet.

It will.

Yep.

Yeah.

You will face hardships, but who are you gonna be?

Are you gonna be a victim or are you gonna be an overcomer in the name of Jesus?

And allow the life of Christ to reign victorious over

every single circumstances.

Knowing nothing can separate you from the love of God.

All right, let's have a look at these questions, discussion

slash reflection questions.

Am I living from a victim posture or a victor posture?

How can I tell, hmm, what burdens currently weigh me down so much that

God's burden is pushed aside in me.

Perhaps how would my perspective on these burdens and how I carry them change if I

truly knew I was an overcomer in Jesus?

If you truly, truly knew it, you didn't just know it here 'cause

it's the right thing to say as a Christian, but it was in your guts.

You know it, and you know, so how do I view others in the church in their

struggles as victims or as victims?

All right, so let's just take a moment just to sit with these questions, see

which one of those questions perhaps is personally relevant for you, and

just allow just a moment in prayerful reflection before the Holy Spirit, um,

to see what he might reveal in you.

Father, we thank you tonight as, uh, we bear our hearts before you.

I thank you that you are gentle,

you are loving, we are safe in your arms.

And, uh, father tonight, if any of us have felt like a wound's been poked

at or touched in a way that hurts

and needs the soothing touch of the father's love, holy Spirit come.

Cleanse and soothe and heal the deep wounds of the heart.

Father, even right now, God, that these wounds from this point forward would

not hurt like they used to because we presented them to the perfect surgeon.

We presented them to God and he has touched.

He is healed.

He has taken what's broken and made it right.

Father.

Many of us have.

He had had that wound healed, but we're still carrying some residue

of that brokenness where we've put up walls of self protection.

Father, forgive us when we've postured our hearts to a victim mindset.

Forgive us.

Have us to see with eyes wide open

what we're doing, how our hearts are responding, how our actions are aligning.

Either to the message of the victim or the message of the kingdom.

And Father tonight over all of us, I wanna speak one John five

that begins like this.

It says, everyone who believes that Jesus Christ

is born of God and everyone who loves the Father loves his child as well.

For everyone.

Born of God overcomes the world.

This is the victory that has overcome the world.

Even our faith, who is it that overcomes the world?

Only the one who believes in Jesus believes that Jesus is the son of God.

Father tonight, if we're, uh, wrestling these wounds tonight.

God, we just wanna confess that this is not about me

doing better or trying harder.

This is about surrender, and we're saying, Lord, have your way.

We believe in you, but you fight this battle for us right now as

we surrender our grip, our own capacity to self-protect, and we

surrender to your perfect plan.

And Father, as this moment unfolds and progresses in our lives, father, we

ask that this wouldn't just be for our benefit, but the burden of the Lord

would be made more and more visible as our hearts become more and more free.

And so, Lord, do that in our midst.

May the dreams that you've placed in our hearts continue to get clearer and clearer

as we become more and more whole.

Father, thank you for your presence tonight.

Thank you for the deep work you are doing in our church

family from youngest to oldest.

And we thank you God, that we are not here for therapy sessions today.

We are here to be healed and to go and to make a difference and bring the

light to bear wherever our foot treads.

And so, father, thank you for this coming week that we are light bearers.

We bear the image of God no matter where our foot treads.

And so Lord, use us this week cause us not to look down, but to look up and

see you in all things in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Amen.