Can Grace Go Too Far?

Hey, what's up, one church?

Welcome.

Thank you for being here today.

I want to say hello to everybody in person.

Everybody joining online.

In fact, if you're in the house today, why don't you put your hands together?

Welcome everybody online.

I have a lot to share with you, so I'm going to get right in and open up in prayer.

Lord, we um we come to you today thankful uh for the uh privilege of living in a free country.

We thank you for those who have given their lives, the men and women uh who cared enough to protect our freedom.

We thank you that in moments like this you speak to us, and so we want to tune in to what you would say.

So uh Lord, I ask you on a personal level to help me.

Uh help me have the heart of God.

Uh help me to have the love and the grace and the truth of Jesus.

Help me to speak through the power of the Holy Spirit, and uh pray that you would illuminate within our hearts what you want us to see collectively and individually.

In Jesus' name.

All God's people said amen.

Amen.

Um last week I began a conversation, uh, started talking about a current event uh going on and trying to ultimately speak to the current event of the topic of abortion in Roe versus Wade, uh, to not just speak to that topic, but to you talk it about it in even broader terms, because as I mentioned last week, talked about four big events that rocked me from elementary school to college, and I had about a decade to process, and now uh the way information comes in, the way things are happening, things happen so fast you get four big events per month.

To try to handle that emotionally, to try to grieve properly, to give things their proper focus is difficult.

As a pastor, I ask for your grace because I know there are times where things are happening that are noteworthy, that are worthy of discussion, and I don't always talk about them.

We don't always talk about them in church.

I don't even necessarily sometimes I don't say anything at all, and so I know I've hurt people's feelings over the years, not trying to, but not saying I've always nailed it, but doing my best to do it well.

And um, but within this, I've kind of gone, okay, let's let's talk about this topic.

Last week I talked about the fact a few things we don't know or that we do know about.

One, we don't have uniformity.

A lot of people think differently in this church, see things differently, and that's everything from theology to social issues to politics.

We see all kinds of things differently.

Um, but yet in the there is no expectation of uniformity, but there is an expectation, even part of the uh new covenant, the power of the Holy Spirit is unity in the midst of lacking uniformity.

We can still have unity.

We talked about that.

We talked about love as actually a command and and um love as uh as the greatest law and the elevation of that through Jesus.

Um I did a lot of listening after that message, received quite a bit of feedback.

It was all over the spectrum, predictable.

I wasn't like, oh, what?

Not everybody loved everything I said, that wasn't a shock.

Um, I try to do my best for whatever it's worth.

Whenever I get feedback that isn't necessarily affirming, I I try to really listen, okay, and listen to the heart of what's being said and listen to what is being said.

I don't want to be just defensive, and I think sometimes people are always like, well, the haters, the haters.

You know, sometimes uh I had a mentor one time that said, um, sometimes the enemies will tell you things that because they're not worried about offending you.

And if you'll just take it and you'll find a bit of truth, it might be helpful to you.

So, and not that any, I don't perceive anyone in here to be my enemy, not at all.

So I try to not be defensive and to receive as best I can and and then and then take it to the Lord and pray through it.

I found myself really encouraged because I think of all of the feedback that I received, uh, even the people that didn't appreciate or uh agree with the things I was saying, I think everyone, I would characterize every single one of them as sincere.

I think everyone is sincere.

I think everyone is trying to go, okay, what is the right thing to do?

Greg, you talked last week about courage, compassion, and humility.

What is courage?

And so there was a lot, I I mean, I could feel it, and and so I want to keep talking about this a little bit.

I want to keep going with it.

And I want to address one question that that came in, and that came in from multiple people, and I think it's a really good question.

I think we should grapple with it.

And then kind of the spirit of the question is this can grace go too far?

Okay, can grace go too far?

In other words, Greg, okay, Jesus came full of grace and truth, John 1, grace and truth, and and yeah, we want to love the world like Jesus did, and yeah, we want to be accommodating of people who are far from God, or okay, all of this, but is it does it come a point where in an attempt to be accommodating, an attempt to be gracious and kind and loving, we actually do something less loving.

We do people a disservice because we withhold the truth that they need to hear.

So think of it like this: if I'm standing in the middle of the road and there's an imminent threat, a car is bearing down on me, I don't need you to go, oh, you're such a nice guy.

I need you to go, get out of the road, dude.

Okay, yell at me if you need to, push me if you need to, like get me out of this road, because the truth is I'm about to get plowed.

You got me?

So the question going, what does it mean to be courageous?

What does this even mean?

We all want that.

I think probably everyone in this room, I'm gonna make the assumption that everyone in this room is willing to be courageous.

We're all trying to figure out what that really means.

And the question is, it'd be nice to have all this grace, but does grace go too far?

That's what we're gonna wrestle with today.

I'm gonna start with the concept of a family, okay?

We all come from a family of some sort.

That might mean a lot of different things to different people, but I'm gonna give broad strokes.

In a family, you've got a mom and dad who get a little taste of deity.

They make a person, okay?

They create a person, and so then that person's kind of made in their image in a certain way.

They they kind of look like them, they should have their DNA.

Then you go through the process of providing and protecting as best you can, and then training and helping them understand right from wrong.

It's challenging because these little folks have a free will.

They have a free will.

You start out as a parent and you're talking about you're given goals and you're given dreams and plans, and it starts out with stuff like I want you to be safe, uh, I want you to be healthy, okay, um, I want to keep you alive.

I want I want you, I and it starts to even go beyond that.

I want you to be respectful and respectable.

I want you to be a good citizen.

Uh I want you to be successful in your own right, whatever that means for you.

Uh I want you to be successful.

Um I want you to have a good life.

Um you might even want them to be happy, to have joy.

I want I I want you um to ultimately have have those things.

Us also on top of that, sometimes as parents, we start to see a path our kids could take, and we want them to live their best life.

And and and this, we we try to influence that behavior.

We'll say if love is at the foundation of it, we also try to do it through a combination of things blessings or rewards and disciplines and punishment, right?

I got especially when they're at a young age, it's pretty pretty primal.

Like, don't go out in the street because this and the light socket will do that, and you know, you're trying to get them thinking that way, and so you got to do a combination of rewards and consequences.

As you get older, it you it your parents are still influencing you in some way, and humanity comes into it.

So you start to find out like your parents sometimes they'll guide you by based on what pleases them.

This makes my dad happy.

So you even if he didn't say it, you could see his face light up, or your mom, you know, felt great about this, so you gave more of that.

And then this over here displeased them, and so I want to do less of that.

And even it spills into our adulthood, even when you're a totally liberated adult, and it's like some of you deal with this uh and your parents mean well, it's not like they um, not like they're ready to banish you, but but they want certain things for you, and they've made it clear.

Like if you're single and getting older, they're like, When are you gonna find a good girl and get married?

When are you gonna find a good guy and get when are you gonna get married?

Or if you're married and you got no kids and you've been married for a while and not have kids and they feel like you've been married long enough without kids, they're like, when are you gonna give me a grandbaby?

Okay, when are you gonna now?

They're not saying, hey, if you don't give me a grandbaby, I'll stop loving you, but they're letting you know what it takes to please them.

So we have these dynamics in our family.

Let's move to God.

What is how does this work with God?

Broad strokes of the Old Testament, at the beginning of the Bible, there was a period of time that people lived with no law.

So they didn't even have the law.

The Bible says people did whatever was right in their own eyes.

Uh Paul synthesizes this concept really well in Romans 5.

So if you've got your Bible, you turn to Romans 5, don't worry.

If you don't, it's on the screen.

Romans 5, here's what Paul says.

He says, Um, when Adam sinned, sin entered the world.

And Adam's sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned.

What he's saying here is, Adam, with this combination of free will and flesh, sinned.

And when he sinned, others began to sin also because they had free will and flesh.

But it says next, look at this, verse 13.

Yes, people sinned even though even before the law was given.

So there was no law, there was no Ten Commandments.

Moses had not come off the mountain with with the tablets and the Ten Commandments.

There was no 613 laws of the Torah.

It had not been defined.

But what he says here is people sinned before the law was given, and it said that sin brought death.

What does he mean by death?

Not talking about deceased, talking about all of the complications and all of the pain that comes along with sin.

So if you go all the way back before the law, you go to Genesis 4, Cain kills his brother Abel.

There was no thou shalt not kill yet.

That didn't even exist in terms of an articulated law.

But but did it bring death?

Yeah, it not only brought death to his brother, it brought pain to his family.

It brought pain to his life.

So before there was no thou shalt not lie, people were lying and creating death in their relationships.

They were betraying people's trust.

Um, there was violence that was happening, um, shedding innocent blood.

There was pain that came with the sin, even though it had not technically broken God's law because God had not given law.

It was still creating death.

So this is what he says in verse 13, the law hadn't even been given, but look at this.

It was not counted as sin because it had not yet, it was not yet any law to break.

Verse 14, still everyone died.

In other words, still everyone had to deal with the consequences, even though the law hadn't been broken.

From the time of Adam to the time of Moses, even though those who did not disobey, which is a double negative, but you get the idea, an explicit command of God as Adam did.

So as Paul is saying this, he's essentially talking about God, and he's saying, he talks about how God ultimately even created the law, created the law.

He says in verse 21, the law was given.

Why?

So that people could see how sinful they were.

What does that mean?

See how sinful they were?

Was it so that they would feel so terrible and have their tail between their legs in shame of going, oh, see how sinful I am?

No, he's going, dude, that thing you did is called a lie, and that lie produces death.

That violence you did, unnecessary, hey, that produces death.

And so he says, it was actually given, the law was given so that it could give us parameters and definition, because a problem undefined is undefeated.

So he says, but as people sinned more and more, look at this.

People sinned more and more, even though they now have the definition of the law, God's wonderful grace became more abundant.

So, in other words, God's grace was always a step ahead of our sin.

So just as a sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God's wonderful grace rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

So now, Paul again is synthesizing.

He's saying in the Old Testament, the way you dealt with your sin was you, you know, you shed the blood of an animal, and there was this whole process of reconciling or removing that barrier between you and God that sin created, and he says, now Jesus has done that, which is created this reservoir of grace.

Then he gets a step ahead of us because now we're like, well, what's up with that?

Because if I've got if grace is boundless, okay, well then why not sin?

I should probably just sin, do whatever the heck I want.

Paul's like, no, no, no, not so fast.

Romans 6, 1 and 2, he says, well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more of this wonderful grace?

If you read in the King James, he says, Should we sin so that grace may abound?

Of course not.

He said, That's crazy.

Now look at this language.

He says, Since we have died to sin, that's a poetic way of saying this.

Since we've died to death.

We've died to death.

What do you mean, death?

Look, dude, you don't want that life.

You don't want that life.

That's a complicated life.

You don't want that life that has all of this death in it, all this brokenness, all this pain in it.

He says, since we've died to death, how can we continue to live in it?

Why would you pick that?

Because it was wrong before it was a law.

Verse 5, since we've been united with him in his death, we will also be raised to life as he was.

So Paul says, he explains the grace of God in chapter 5.

In chapter 6, he says, so we don't sin so that grace will abound.

But then chapter 7 he goes, but what what happens when we do?

What happens when I already know?

I already know I'm gonna have grace before I sin.

And I choose to sin anyway.

Paul says this in in Romans 7.

He says, I really don't understand myself, for I want to do what's right, but I don't do it.

Instead, I do what I hate.

Verse 16, he said, But if I know that what I'm doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good.

In other words, Paul says, I know the truth, I know what's wrong, I know what my conscience says, I know what God's Word says, I know what's right, and I even know I'm gonna have grace before I sin.

And I know that I shouldn't abuse that grace just since I know it's gonna be there, that I just sin, but doggone it if I don't do it sometimes.

And he goes, if you re-keep reading, he goes, self-loathing.

I'm a wretched man.

I'm a wretched man because I know the truth and I know his grace and I know I shouldn't take advantage of it.

He's like, but sometimes my flesh is so weak.

And if you know anything about Paul, you know that Paul isn't some sloppy, undisciplined dude.

Paul is this guy, he's like, dude, listen, any of you that want to go blow for blow on piety and moral morality, I'm right there, dude.

But at the same time, he goes, but it it with all of my education and all my knowledge of the truth, my flesh still, still, I do this.

And then it leads to one of the best verses in the Bible, Romans 8 fires me up every time.

There's therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.

So he's introducing this kind of complicated thing.

God's this incredible grace.

Uh uh, I shouldn't abuse it, but sometimes I do.

But because I understand the depth of his grace, I don't live in condemnation, which then drives me back to not want to live in more death.

Which begs the question okay, can we disappoint God?

I know I can disappoint my parents, I know I can disappoint you, I know you can disappoint me.

Can we disappoint God?

Let's think about this.

Disappointment is a combination of surprise and frustration.

My friends sometimes disappoint me because they surprise me with their decisions.

Did you hear so-and-so did such and such?

What?

So-and-so?

Yeah.

They did such and such?

Yep.

No.

Yes.

So-and-so.

They did such and such?

They did such and such.

Didn't see that coming.

I'm surprised?

I'm frustrated.

I guess the first question is: can God be surprised by you?

The answer is no.

Okay, I said it a few weeks ago.

God can't be disillusioned with you because he never had any illusions about you.

I look at people, I go, didn't see it coming.

God's not up in heaven going, me either.

I didn't think he was capable.

Didn't think she had it in her.

No, man.

In fact, go back to the Easter sermon, man.

God's been setting us up the whole time.

Go back to the Easter sermon.

We talk about Jesus taking on flesh, which means he knows you better than you know yourself, which is why he's able to give you grace.

You can't give yourself.

You can't give yourself grace because you think you know you, but he knows you better, which is why he can give you more.

So you're not surprising God.

Nobody is.

The second is, are you frustrating him?

Are you fr is God frustrated?

Is God up there going, dude, if you one more time, come man, how many okay?

Uh God is unbelievably patient with you.

Paul says in Romans 2, so before he even gets into 5, 6, 7, and 8, in Romans 2, he says, Don't you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you?

Does this mean nothing to you?

Can't you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?

His kindness leads us to repentance.

God is not frustrated with you.

God's not up there like I'm gonna give you one more shot, you better not blow it.

Okay?

I gotta tell you, it took me a long time to figure this out, guys.

It was after I planted one church.

Because there were years within the beginning of the planning of one church, I was terrified of letting God down.

Terrified of disappointing God.

Going, I don't want to surprise him with my failure, and he's frustrated.

Greg, can you just get your stuff together and get that church going right?

Greg, can you just get figure out these systems?

Greg, can you just get better at retention?

Greg, can you just get can you preach better?

Like, and I'd get in my car and like, Lord, am I doing all right?

It took a while for me to figure this out that God's not up there going, man, I just hope Ford hits it out of the park today.

You know, if I'm just he's up there chomping his nails, just watching like, well, I hope he gets it.

Like, man, God loves me and he's here with me and he's you know functioning through me, and what I'm doing right now is bonding with him.

He's he's not he's not frustrated with you.

If you have a theology and a belief and a perspective of God that he's frustrated with you, it will cause you shame you don't need to have.

So you're not frustrating him and you're not surprising him.

Which then leads me to like, what kind of church should we have?

What kind of family should we have?

If God thinks this way, and if God, by the way, if God, by the way, created this gracious situation, doesn't want us to sin, is he frustrated with us in our sin?

He's frustrated for us in our sin.

As you sin, you might cost yourself opportunities, you might cause death.

And he's up there going, and you hurt me too.

No, he's the same grace extended is in place of grace already given, which is to help me in my healing, to come alongside.

Look at the person of Jesus.

Jesus, who on his way to the cross and in the book of Luke, goes and he looks at Jerusalem, who is about to put him to death, and he weeps for Jerusalem and their blindness.

He wasn't frustrated with them, he was frustrated for them.

Look at how blind you are.

I'm broken for you.

So, as a church, what does this mean for us?

Um, okay, recently I was talking to a friend and he's telling me, he's telling me a story, and he's telling me about his dad, and he said he had a really hard dad.

His dad was very strict with him, his dad was hard on him, and and so he said, growing up, he said he became very accomplished because his dad applied all kinds of pressure.

But he said he became an adult man, and although he had accomplished a lot, and some of it due to the pressure of his dad, he said, I realized I didn't just have a complicated relationship with my dad, I hated my dad.

He said, I hated my dad.

And he goes, and then he had kids and he had a son, and he go, and he was trying to figure out in his own mind, like, what do I take and what do I leave?

Because I don't want to just swing the pendulum and do the exact opposite of everything my dad did, because some of it was probably good.

But he goes, so I was trying to pick and choose, and he goes, and all of a sudden I realized like I got a bad relationship with my son.

He's like, I'm being really hard on him, but I don't know where the lines are.

He's like, and I can feel I'm losing him.

And it felt like history was starting to repeat itself.

So he said, I got so desperate, I went to a counselor to try to get my head above water.

And so he sits with the counselor and he tells him the whole story, and the counselor's just listening, he's listening to him, you know, and tells him all about his dad and all about his son.

And after all, he'd said everything he wanted to say, he said, Okay.

Let me ask you a question.

He said, um, do you think your son is clear about your expectations?

Is he clear about what you expect of him?

He said, yes.

He said, you've told him?

He's clear?

You've expressed to him what you expect.

He said, You're darn right I have.

He said, that's the problem.

I keep telling him, and he's not doing it.

And he said, but you know he's clear.

Yep.

He goes, maybe you should stop telling him.

So let me ask you this.

What are you gonna do if he doesn't live up to your expectations?

What are you gonna do?

He's like, I don't know.

He's like, well, let's think about it together.

What are you gonna do?

He said, are you gonna stop loving him?

No.

Are you gonna love him less?

No.

Maybe go tell him that.

Because he knows what you expect.

But maybe go tell him that if he doesn't meet your expectations, not only will you not stop loving him, you won't love him any less.

And then see what happens.

Now, that's not a guarantee.

It could be.

His son is so hard-hearted and hard-headed, hard-hearted, that he goes, Oh, cool, you're gonna love me no matter what.

I'm gonna be a loser.

I'm gonna be an underachiever.

I'm gonna raise hell.

There's a chance.

There's a chance.

Darn it, that free will.

God, I like a lot of the stuff you did, but that free will thing.

I mean, don't take mine, but take hers, please.

As a church, as we're trying to influence the world, trying to help them understand the love of Jesus, how do we do this?

And I think we gotta think about it, do some deep thinking and praying.

Because the refrain that I hear consistently among some Christians is that for some, the ultimate and for others, the only act of courage right now for Christians is to stand up and make their point about right and wrong as loudly as possible.

To say it again and again and again and again louder.

And that anyone who disagrees with you, anybody who doesn't receive it or rejects it, the answer is more boldness and more courage, and to say it louder and louder.

And I think if you'll look inside your own heart at what actually helps you and persuades you, if you've ever had somebody on a different subject fully convinced that they were 100% right and you didn't agree, and they said it and they made their point and you didn't agree, and they said it louder and you didn't agree, and then they said it more repeatedly and you didn't agree, and then they tried to gang up on you with a bunch of people and you didn't agree.

You didn't find yourself more persuaded or invited in unless you were weak-minded.

You found yourself going, get out of my face.

You actually found yourself probably in a visceral reaction putting up walls, and it became a blockade, it became an obstacle, a stumbling block on something that may have even been true that you stay blind to because tactically they thought themselves courageous, but ultimately they were harming you by their approach.

Are people made in the image of God?

Oh yeah.

Genesis 1.

God creates the heavens and the earth, he makes the land, called it good, made the water, called it good, made the animals, called it good, kept going, made man and woman, made humans and called it very good.

Yes, life is sacred 100%.

So we we stand for life for everybody.

I mean, people living in the world, we we stand for people's lives, we stand for life.

Okay, so that's not the quote.

The question is what does the church say to the world?

What does the church say?

What do we do?

What's the right thing to do?

We all want to be courageous, but there's a lot of like courage isn't enough.

Courage, compassion, humility, because a lot of courageous people do lots of damage.

You can be courageous and bring lots of destruction.

This takes a massive amount of wisdom to go, what do we do?

No one wants to be a coward, but at the same time, what is what what one person, one person uses discretion, somebody calls it a coward because you didn't yell loud enough.

What is time and score?

Where are we?

What does the world need to hear?

I was I was thinking about this.

I was kind of a I was imagining this in my mind, and I said this, uh, don't hear me proclaiming prophetically, okay, I'm not saying God said gave me this in my mind, because sometimes people do that and it's the ultimate zinger, right?

It's like, you've ever been arguing with somebody and they're like, well, God said this, and you're like, okay, I mean what am I gonna do with that?

I was I was I was in a Bible class in college and there there was a debate, uh, a cognitive scholarly debate on who wrote the book of Hebrews, which is like ambiguous.

Okay, you're like, who cares?

Well, they did care big time, and people were this guy's arguing this, this person's this in the middle of it.

Somebody starts speaking in tongues, and at the end of it, they're like, Thus saith the Lord, it was Paul.

It's like all right, you know, I mean what what are you gonna do?

Like, argue with the Lord?

So uh I'm gonna give you a vision.

I don't know that this is what's been in my mind.

So what's been in my mind's eye, and I don't enough said.

Um what I picture in this whole Roe versus Wade abortion, I look at our country, I see a lot, I see a lot of women, my mind's like in the ocean, and they've got a baby in one arm and they're swimming with the other arm.

And on the far horizon, there's land, but it's a long way away.

It's hard to even know how far away it is.

I just can't see land, but I don't know if I'm gonna get there.

And some of them are maybe strong enough swimmers and all this that they're like, man, I can make it like this.

And then others that are genuinely questioning, I don't know if I could make it without the baby.

If it was just me.

Much less you give me a baby, I I I know I can't.

So they're starting to think, survival, it's primal.

Do I do I do I have to do the heart?

Do I have to do this?

Uh I think sometimes in the good and evil, black and white, right, wrong, we just go, uh, there's just a lot of bloodthirsty people out there that are just or just or just irresponsible, playing fast and loose with their sexuality, using abortion as birth control.

And I'm not saying that doesn't happen.

Somebody's some people are doing that, but that doesn't represent everybody.

There are some, I think, that are going like this, and they're going, I don't know if I can do this.

And then the other thing is, I was thinking about this vision.

I'm like, under the surface, there's stuff we don't know about.

Somebody got their leg bit off by a shark.

So not only are they swimming with one arm, they're swimming with one leg, and they're really, really struggling, and they're trying to, and then others, some are just they're just going, I got it, I'm doing this.

Does it make it right?

Uh no, it is it, but this is there, you don't understand.

This is what's going on, this is where I'm at.

And so here we are as a church and saved people and Christians, and we're in these, we we got these boats, and then we got these megaphones, and and and they're man, we're what are you gonna say?

What's the right thing to say?

What's the courageous thing to say?

Well, it's a complex, there's lots of it.

That's why you gotta pick your words carefully, very carefully.

Because communication isn't just what you say, it's what someone hears.

I learned that years ago with my wife.

My wife would say something, and then five minutes later I'd go, and but you said that.

She's like, I didn't say that.

I'm like, excuse me, you did say that.

I wrote it down, word for word.

This is what you said.

She's like, that's not what I said.

That's exactly what you said.

That was the subject, that was the predicate.

You used exactly that word, and she's like, but that's not what I meant.

So, what I learned a long time ago, if I'm gonna communicate well, I don't say this is what you said, I say this is what you guys are smart, man.

This is what I heard.

So sometimes she says something, she's to this day, like every day, like this morning.

She says something, and I say, This is what I heard you say.

Is that what you said?

No, that's not what I said.

Okay, should say it again.

Say it, this is what I heard you say.

We'll go back and forth until she's like, Yep, that's what I said.

You bust this thing out, okay?

You you go, all I said was pro-life.

But you gotta understand what a lady who's holding a baby like this, or who has dropped a baby, what she's hearing is condemnation.

What she's hearing is, look at you're going, that's not what I said.

I'm saying value of life.

No, I understand.

I understand that.

I'm not trying to put words in your mouth.

What I'm trying to do is have us all be aware of what's being hurt.

What it, what, what they hear is abortion is murder.

Murder.

You don't drop that baby.

Christians are rowing in their boats with their megaphones.

Don't drop the baby.

Hear the consequences.

Not only have you broken God's heart, but you'll think about this every day for the rest of your life.

You'll think about this every day for the rest of your life.

That's what they're hearing.

Well, Pastor, I can't assume what everyone will hear.

Then you can call it courage and not care.

It's up to you.

I don't think it reflects the heart of the Father.

I don't think it reflects the gospel of Jesus.

So if you got one crack at the megaphone, what are you gonna say?

You're welcome in my boat.

Come get in my boat.

I had a talk with my daughter about sex.

She turned 11.

Smart kid, starts asking questions.

My wife's like, we better talk about it.

She goes and explains to her how it happens biologically, all this.

Then I meet with her.

And this is the conversation we had.

Alright, Ella.

When you have sex, brain chemicals are going nuts.

We talked about oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine, adrenaline.

These are things that cause people to be addicted to drugs.

When you take drugs, drugs don't do anything to you, they make you do stuff to yourself.

So they're shooting off your own chemicals.

So this is what caused people to get addicted, why they get addicted sexually.

And God, in all of his greatness and his power, created this thing where you, in moderation, in the right context, in a fully committed, intimate relationship, you have this amazing rush of pleasure.

It's like riding a roller coaster, taking ecstasy.

It's amazing.

In that context, if you overdo it, we talked about the law of diminishing marginal utility, which means actually it more isn't more, more becomes less.

God made it this way.

Keep it in this context, you'll get the most out of it.

We talked about consequences, STDs.

Okay, you mess around, do this, you can have this.

We talked about possibilities like single mom.

Okay, God's connected this to procreation.

So you might have somebody you think you're gonna be with forever, and and and you, you know, you trust them, and then they do this, and then you end up with a baby, and you could end up a single mom.

Baby's not a consequence, but the baby, you know, baby's made in the image of God, but it could cost you opportunities.

You it could limit you in some way, you just gotta decide is it the wrong right thing at the wrong time?

So you gotta think all this out.

She's like, So we get the end of the conversation.

I said, any questions?

She's like, no, I think I got it.

I said, okay, one last thing.

You have a free will.

Whatever you do, whatever you choose with this, it will be a path, and you'll have to live with cause and effect.

And whatever you choose, I'm in.

You end up addicted, I'm in.

You end up with an STD, I'm in.

You end up a single mom, you can count on me.

You have a free will, you're gonna pick a path, I'm gonna take the path with you until you kick me out or till I die.

Craig, you idiot.

That's gotta be the dumbest plan I've ever heard in my life.

Giving your daughter up the freedom?

What happens?

She gets in the back seat of the car, she's feeling tempted, some guy's pressuring her, and she's thinking, you know, my dad's gonna be here no matter what.

Maybe she just goes ahead and gives in so that grace will abound.

Maybe.

I'm just betting everything on love and grace.

I'm betting it all.

And here's what here's what I believe.

I believe.

Because she knows how incredibly loved she is and the value that's put on her life by her God and her father and her family, that that sort of grace would cause her to go, you know.

I don't even think I need to get in the backseat with this dude.

I'm not looking for anything he's got.

I ain't looking for anything over there.

I don't need that over there.

Is it a guarantee?

No, it's not a guarantee, it's not a guarantee.

People have free will.

It's no guarantee.

I just like my odds.

I like her odds.

And the bottom line is if she steps outside the boundary, will I be disappointed?

As a human being, I probably will be surprised.

Because I don't think she's going to.

But if she does, she's gonna get more grace than she's ever seen in her life.

And you know what she's gonna do?

That same grace will help her heal.

I think she's more likely to come to me, by the way, after a bad decision that will then I'll be able to come and support her in a way she doesn't make five more bad decisions because she's living in shame or privacy or hiding or thinking it's her against the world.

Well, Greg, what does this have to do with abortion?

Everything.

Everything.

You got a megaphone.

What are you gonna say?

Well, Greg, what this was a real concern people have, and I understand it.

I think it's sincere.

If we're this gracious as a church, what about the lady that's sitting in the church right now?

She's on the verge, she could go one way or the other, and you're talking all this grace.

Maybe she goes, maybe she goes, well, if they're gonna love me no matter what, I'm why I would just go kill this baby.

Maybe, maybe not.

I mean, think logically for a moment.

If you're a woman pregnant, feeling unsupported, do you think if you have more support, you're more likely to hang on to the baby or to go, you know, if I'm gonna be unsupported, do I want to be unsupported with a baby or without a baby?

If I'm supported, if I'm supported and loved and journeyed with, maybe that's just enough to go.

I'm gonna hang on.

But here's what I'm gonna tell you.

You're welcome in this boat.

What if she drops, what if she drops her baby?

You're welcome in this boat.

And and by the way, if you drop your baby, I'm gonna do we're gonna do this.

Two more things.

Fast.

Number one, the easy to fall into trap as a loving parent is to start creating goals for your kids.

Creating goals for your kids, and that your goal becomes that they're good citizens, that they're moral, that they're successful, that they're self-actualized, whatever you want to say.

1 Corinthians 14, Paul says, Let love be your highest goal.

Often we go, do we want to use love to get somebody to the ultimate goal, which is morality?

Or is love a goal all by itself?

Churches are famous to say, people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

I hope you mean that, really mean it.

Otherwise, it turns into pretend to care about people so they'll listen to what you know.

Act like show enough care so that you let their wall down, so then now I can tell you what I know.

And true love and care is actually, I will love you even if you never listen to me, even if you don't do what I think you ought to do.

Last thing I say before we uh pray.

If you're a woman who is thinking about an abortion and you don't understand the consequences, I'm not going to tell you about those.

Why, Greg, are you scared?

Terrified.

Because I've not walked a mile in those shoes.

But I'm not gonna leave you hanging.

I got one better for you.

Go to our website one.church slash groups and go to care.

We have a group, a care group of women who have had abortions, some of them who have had abortions, and they can tell you with as much detail as you'd like to know if there's any ambiguity about what are the consequences.

I'm not gonna leave you hanging.

Go there, and they'll tell you everything you want to know.

And by the way, they'll support you whatever you do, they'll support you whatever you do.

We're in your corner.

Church, I'll say this: God's given us the opportunity to live in this day.

Understanding what is the courageous thing to do can be complicated.

We all like to make it simple.

We all like to go, this works every time.

But they're walking in the Spirit is taking what I understand about God's word, listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit, and going, Lord, in this case, right now, what is mine to do?

So I want to invite you to take a moment right now to pray to allow God to process what He wants you to hear in this moment.

Let's pray together.