Managing Stress

Let's open a prayer.

God, we thank you for the opportunity to be in your presence, Lord, to hear from you.

And we we make our hearts receptive to you, God.

We do that by acknowledging that it's in you that we live, move, and have our being, and it's in us that you live, move, and have yours.

And uh the fact that we have consciousness today means that we can receive from you.

Lord, we know you're God and we're not.

And so I pray that you would slow us down enough and that you would speak to us collectively and individually, and then give us the courage to act, Lord.

We thank you and praise you in Jesus' name.

All God's people said, Amen.

Amen.

We're starting a new series this weekend.

Uh, we're calling it well done, uh, which makes me think of steak.

Uh pretty much everything makes me think of steak, but um uh it's not about stake, okay?

This is about a life well done.

In fact, um Jesus uses these words and a parable he makes up in Matthew chapter 25.

Matthew 25 · chapter mention

It's called the parable of the three servants or the parable of the talents, where basically he makes up a story of a man who distributed his wealth to three different people and said, Do well with it, you know, and he gives them different amounts.

But he says, like, take it and do something with it.

So the first two double it, they invest, they they they they uh work hard and they double the money.

And the third, it says actually in Matthew 25, 25, when the master comes back to see what they did, the guy says, uh, I was afraid.

He said, I was afraid.

So he said, I buried it in the ground.

I was afraid I was gonna screw it up.

I was afraid I was gonna lose your money.

I was afraid my idea wouldn't work, and so he said, I buried it.

And then, of course, he gets this like like the master's like, you wicked, lazy servant.

Um, the parable, I think, taken well, gives us a responsibility around productivity and fruitfulness, and that we need to make our life count and to do good work.

I think taken the worst way or a bad way would be to have it turn you into paranoia that, oh, I'm just not gonna do enough.

Oh, I could have gotten two more.

Oh, I could have, if I would have done a little bit more.

I don't think that's the intention.

I think God wants me to be productive, I think he wants me to be fruitful, I think he wants me to work hard, do good work.

But I don't think God's up in heaven on pins and needles today, like I hope Ford brings it, you know, because if he doesn't, kingdom's in jeopardy, you know.

I mean, this guy, if he doesn't hit a home run in that sermon, man, you know, Jesus looking at the angels like this is our only hope, guys.

Plan A.

You know, we don't have plan B.

It's Ford.

Okay, he's gotta kill it.

If he doesn't get it, oh my goodness, it's an emergency meeting in heaven.

We gotta figure out what we're gonna do.

I don't think you're supposed to live with that weight.

I think it might crush you.

You're not designed for that.

So to have a confidence, like my life matters, but not like getting too big ahead on this whole thing.

God was doing okay before we got here, guys.

I think he's gonna do fine when we leave.

We get to run our leg of the journey well.

That's kind of the spirit of that text.

But he says this thing like, well done, good job, which is a nice affirmation.

Certainly from God, but it's a nice affirmation from anyone.

You ever done good work and your boss or the client you were working for is like, well done, I like that.

Good, you know, that was good stuff.

I think that's what we want our life in the big picture like to be.

I'm gonna operate under that assumption that nobody here is going, you know, I want to see how bad I can mess this thing up.

You know, I don't know.

I'm gonna see how many people I can hurt.

How much damage can I do?

You know, I just want to see the depth of the damage I can do.

Now, I believe everybody in this room wants a well done, I want to do this well.

So I'm gonna take over the next few weeks and pick a few topics, may appear non sequitur, but I think they all fit with this concept of our lives uh being well done.

The first thing I want to talk to you today is um a big part of your life being lived well is how you manage stress, how you manage stress.

Uh chances are you're probably trying to eliminate stress.

Alright.

Uh in fact, you might fantasize about a life with none.

Like, wouldn't that be awesome?

A life with no stress.

Uh I heard a guy the other day he was saying, um, he said, he said, man, when I was in junior high, I was dying to get to high school.

Then when I was in high school, I was dying to get to college.

When I was in college, I was dying to start my career.

When I was single, I was dying to get married.

When we got married, I was dying to have kids.

And we were dying to have kids.

He goes, when we was once we had kids, I was dying for them to graduate high school, and then I was dying for them to leave, and then I was dying to retire.

And he said, now I'm retired and I'm just dying.

Every situation, every blessing brought stress.

And yet you we don't want to be these people that just keep wishing ourselves out of stuff and get to the end and go, Yeah, I don't think I live that well.

I was actually trying to get out of everything I was in.

Stress management is really important.

Um, if you didn't have any stress, you'd probably be dead, frankly.

Because actually, stress is God's way.

God designed you biologically for stress to increase your chances of surviving.

Uh, there's signals from your brain that go to your adrenal glands that that actually uh you know release cortisol and adrenaline to actually go, there's a threat in front of me, uh, a rational, potentially rational threat.

I need to be highly alert and energized to battle this threat.

So if you didn't have that stress going on with real threats in front of you, you'd probably be dead.

But of course, if you have too much stress, you'd probably be dead too.

Stress will kill you.

Too much, overload, leads to heart disease, leads to high blood pressure, uh, leads to deep, deep depression.

So we got to figure out how do we manage this well.

And uh today I want to learn from a powerful woman in the Bible, a woman by the name of Esther.

If you have your Bible turn to Esther chapter 4, uh the question we're gonna wrestle with today, I'm gonna give you five things from her life.

Esther 4 · chapter mention

We're gonna answer this question: how do I handle stressful situations well?

How do I handle stressful situations well?

Let me give you a quick background on Esther, okay?

This story is interesting.

Book of Esther, 10 chapters.

God is not mentioned one time in the book of Esther.

Isn't that weird?

It's like in the Bible.

The Bible's kind of about God.

Uh, write that in your notes, okay?

Make sure you get that.

Bible is about God.

And yet Esther doesn't mention God, and it doesn't mention it anywhere.

So, which begs the question well, what's up with that?

Why would it not be mentioned?

Was it because God's not active in Esther?

And the answer is absolutely not.

God is totally active in Esther.

The writer of Esther invites the reader to actually look for God in places he may have been buried in your awareness, which I think might be the best training in the whole Bible.

Because how often is something happening on a Tuesday and you just think it's life happening and you don't see God's hand on it?

I do that all the time.

And bad news is St.

Peter's not following you around going, God did that.

God did that, right?

In the Bible, a lot of the narrative, the author says, and then God did this, and then God led them to this, and then God opened this door.

There's a lot of like giving God credit through the authors, but to the people in real time, it just feels like life.

So in Esther, we we we are taught to look for God's hand because God's all over Esther's story, all over.

He's all in it, and yet you have to have your head up to go, oh, okay, I perceive, I sense this is a God thing.

God's in the middle of this, and to find him where he may normally be buried.

The timing of the story is a hundred years into the exile of the Israelites, the nation of Israel into Babylon.

And what's going on?

We pick up this guy, Xerxes, who's the head of the Persian Empire, who in the beginning of the story he throws these two big parties, and this dude has way too much power.

He's unstable, erratic, and he drinks way too much.

So in chapter one, he's drunk at a party and he calls for his wife.

Somebody bring Vashti, bring my wife, she's beautiful.

I want everybody to see her.

So he's like, tell Vashti to come and parade her beauty in front of all my friends.

And Vashti's like, nah, I don't think I want to do that.

So she just passes.

Like, I'm gonna pass on it.

Well, his advisors go, Whoa, now, that was a big thing, dude.

You're you're Xerxes, dog on it.

You called for your wife and she didn't come out.

This is gonna set off a chain reaction, and the whole empire is gonna be catastrophic, okay?

Because what do you know what's gonna happen?

Wives are gonna think that they're in charge, okay?

We can't have that, all right?

So he said, you know, women all over, they're gonna start revolting and they're gonna they'll start coloring their hair and stuff, and it's just gonna get crazy, okay?

Gonna wear pants, like it's gonna be awful.

And and so um, so he says, you know what, you need to you need to deal with Vashti, you need to put her in check in front of everybody, and then you need to issue a decree.

Men are in charge and women need to act right.

And Xerxes is like, that's a great idea.

So he deposes Vashti, you're out, and then he issues this decree, and I'm sure it went over really well.

And then uh, and then and then he decides, well, I need a new wife now.

So so they hold this contest to collect all the beautiful women of the region, and he's gonna, you know, he's gonna go down the line.

Well, I'll take the okay, I'll take her.

And so this is where this woman, Esther, emerges.

Esther is an orphan, both her parents are dead.

She's being raised by her uncle Mordecai.

That's like a mentor in her life.

And Mordecai, uh, or Esther goes and she she essentially now becomes queen.

She's hidden the fact that she's a Jew.

So so nobody knows this.

And and so now she's she she's now married to Xerxes.

Mordecai, her uncle, is uh he's a wise dude, he's a man of principle, and he works for the government, and he makes an unfortunate enemy.

There's a guy named Haman who is uh you know thinks he's pretty big deal.

And everywhere Haman went, people had to bow down.

But Mordecai, Esther's uncle, decides, you know, I'm not bowing to this dude.

It's one thing to obey the rules, it's one thing to be honorable, but I'm not going to worship a dude.

I'm not gonna worship a person, okay?

So I'm not gonna do it.

So every time Haman walked by, Mordecai didn't bow down.

And so now Haman, and with his ego blown up and you know that weird combination between arrogant and insecure, he's like, you know what, I'm gonna wipe this dude Mordecai out.

But then he goes, you know what though?

It's not just Mordecai, it's him and his people.

It's those people over there that basically none of them want to bow down and they're a problem.

So next time Xerxes gets a little, drinks a little bit too much, okay, here's Haman.

He's like, hey, there's Mordecai.

We got to deal with Mordecai and we got to deal with those people over there, these Jews, they're all a problem.

And so he comes up with a plan on how to exterminate not just Mordecai, but all of the Jews.

And he says, I can monetize it.

I figured out how to monetize it.

And Xerxes goes, Done.

Love that plan.

That's a great idea.

We eliminate a threat and make some money in the process.

That's my love language.

And so now here they have this threat.

Mordecai now is terrified because there's a date on it.

They literally put out a date on this date, wiping these people out.

And they they they put it in writing.

And Mordecai finds this out and he realizes dude, I didn't bow down.

This set off a chain reaction, it's an existential threat.

He begins weeping and wailing and crying.

And Esther now finds out that Mordecai's upset.

She doesn't know what's up, she doesn't know about the decree, but she knows he's upset.

Esther chapter 4, verse 5.

Esther 4:5

So she ordered him, her being her uh assistant, to go to Mordecai to find out what was troubling him, why he was mourning.

Mordecai told him the whole story, including the exact amount of money Haman had promised to pay the royal treasury for the destruction of the Jews.

Mordecai gave Hathitch, who was her assistant, a copy of the decree.

So here it is in writing.

This isn't just some rumor.

Here's proof.

And he issued it that was issued in Susa and called for the death of all the Jews, and he asked Hathitch to show it to Esther.

Esther needs to see this, explain the situation to her, and he also asked Hathitch to direct her to go to the king and beg for mercy and plead for her people.

Okay?

Five things we're gonna do with stress.

Five things of how we handle it well.

Number one, you have to look reality in the face.

You have to define reality, you have to look it in the face.

Okay, stress triggers a fight or flight.

Uh sometimes you gotta fight, sometimes you gotta flight.

And you gotta know who you are, what's your tendency?

Are you easily baited?

Are you a fighter?

Are you aggressive?

Are you proactive?

Do you tend to go headlong into it?

Okay, are you a combative, conflicting type person?

You know what?

Sometimes the the first conflict you have to have is with yourself to go, you know what, I'm gonna let this go off me like water off a duck's back.

You can't, you know, in the words of Winston Churchill, if you you you're not gonna get anywhere if you stop to throw stones at every dog that barks.

So sometimes you gotta let it go.

I'm gonna I'm gonna flight on this one.

I'm just gonna let it go because I have a limited quantity of energy and time and focus, mental and emotional energy and output.

I can't just fight everything.

But sometimes you can't avoid it.

I can't put my head in the sand.

This isn't just a rumor, this is a big deal.

And so, what is what does Mordecai do?

But he's starting, he goes to Esther and he's defining reality.

He's looking reality in the face.

It's in writing.

This isn't like murmuring, this isn't like a little thing, this isn't a couple people might get this is huge.

This kid, they're gonna wipe us all out.

And so so he goes to her and says, I need you to take your position and to get proactive and go to the king.

Okay, so they keep looking watch this ping-pong where they're defining reality.

Esther comes back and further defines reality.

Okay, here's what you asked me to do, sir.

All of the king's officials and all people in the province know anyone who appears before the king in his inner court without being invited in is doomed to die unless the king holds out a gold scepter and the king has not called for me to come to him for 30 days.

Esther's not saying I won't do this, but Esther is looking reality in the face.

Let's not be naive of the threats here.

If I go in, I could die.

Okay?

We know this.

What's reality?

Xerxes is an unstable dude.

Okay?

He's got a substance abuse problem.

He's he's unstable, he's moody, uh, he's impulsive.

Okay, he threw his last wife out because she didn't walk through the party.

He threw her out.

What would he do to me if I just come in?

This is what the law says.

He's empowered to do so.

This guy has way too much power.

She's not saying I won't do it, she's defining reality.

I gotta look the threat in the eyeball, I gotta look right at it and define what is reality.

So then Mordecai comes back with a further definition of reality.

He says to her, hey, don't think for a moment that because you're in the palace, you will escape when all the other Jews are killed.

In other words, I love this.

Hey, he's mentored, Esther.

Stress can make you short-sighted and myopic.

Thinking just about the moment and self-preservation.

Sister, don't do that.

Your life is about something bigger.

Your life is about something bigger.

And don't think for one second that you're gonna be able to get away just because you're in the in the palace, he says.

Now look what he says next.

He says, if you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die.

Ooh, I love that.

I love that because Mordecai has a belief in God and his faithfulness.

He's like, look, God wants to use you right now, but if you don't step up to the plate, make no mistake about it, God's not taking an L.

God's gonna raise somebody up.

But you will be won't be there to see it.

You won't be around to see it.

God's gonna raise somebody up.

He's positioned you to do something.

If you won't do something, God will find someone who will.

This is consistent throughout the Bible.

You see, when Saul turned his heart from God, God started looking around, found David.

I found me a man, I found somebody who's after my heart.

Okay, so Saul, if you don't want to lead right, I'll find me a leader.

But guess what, Saul?

You're not gonna be around to see the fruit that's gonna come from it.

And so Mordecai is, what's he doing?

Defining reality.

You're in a position to do something.

I know it's scary, I know there's a lot of uncertainty, but if you don't step up, God will do something.

God's gonna show up with somebody else.

What are you gonna do about it?

And so you have to define reality.

The second thing is you have to focus on your purpose.

Okay, look what he's doing here.

He's he's elevating, he's elevating her thinking.

He's elevating, he's helping her think bigger than just self-preservation.

He's helping her think purpose.

Look what he says next.

Relief from the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die.

Look what he says next.

Who knows?

If perhaps you were made queen for such a time as this.

This is the most famous verse in all of Esther.

Perhaps you've been put in this kingdom, perhaps you've been gifted as you are.

Your physical gifts and your mental gifts and your personality gifts all coming into an intersection with an opportunity that's positioned you in this place to do something about this problem.

Perhaps all of that has come together in a defining moment.

For this moment, he's saying, don't get caught up in self-preservation.

We're all going to die at some point.

But maybe the purpose that God has for your life is coming to fruition right now.

And you know what it looks like?

Stress.

A stressful situation.

And in that stressful situation, instead of getting focused just on the here and now and thinking petty and small, think substance, think big, think purpose.

He said, Maybe it's all for this time in this moment.

Number three, you gotta come up with a plan.

How do I handle stressful situations?

Well, well, I look reality in the face.

I won't let it bully me in my periphery.

Number two, I focus on perp on my purpose.

I gotta think bigger than just the moment.

But number three, come up with a plan.

Esther comes back to Mordecai with a plan.

She says, Okay, here's what we're gonna do.

Go and gather all the Jews.

Here's your part, Mordecai.

Gather all the Jews of Susa and fast for me.

Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day.

My maids and I will do the same.

And then, though it is against the law, I will go in to see the king.

Notice, let's deconstruct this real quick.

She asks for help where she needs it.

She gets help.

Okay, look, Mordecai, you're outside the palace, I'm in the palace.

You're on the other side of the gate, I'm over here.

Get the team together, and we're gonna pray and fast.

We're gonna get our minds right, we're gonna get our hearts right, we're gonna get focused.

Okay, we're blocking everything else out.

And we're we're gonna ask God for help, and we're gonna get the team aligned.

Why?

That's all we can do.

We're gonna ask God for help, and we're gonna get the team aligned.

How many of you know prayer is not the least we can do, it's the most we can do.

I'm going to God, I'm gonna get my heart because I'm about to go into the palace, I'm gonna do what I can do, which is I'm gonna walk in there, but I'm gonna go in there three days, prayed up, fasted.

I'm rolling in in good energy, okay?

I don't know what more uh what what Xerxes is gonna do.

I'm not, I don't know what he drank for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

I don't know if he's moody or what, but I know this.

I'm going in prayed up, fasted up, ready to go.

Here's my plan.

And she knew what to delegate, she knew what to entrust to other people, she knew where to get help.

Everybody played their part.

It says Mordecai did as she told him to do, and then she said, But here's what I'm gonna do.

I'm going in.

I'm going in, and I'm gonna do what only I can do, which is the fourth thing, which is to act courageously.

Okay?

One of the things that stress does, stress does, it causes us stress, is a feeling that you are a bystander in your life.

You're getting blown around all over the place.

Everybody's making decisions about you that affect you, and you have no power.

And you got all this uncertainty, and I don't know what they're gonna do, and I don't know what they're gonna do.

And if I have this conversation, it could go good or it could go bad, and this could happen, and that could happen.

And so all the uncertainty makes us feel stuck, makes us feel powerless, makes us feel weak.

And at some point you have to decide like I'm not going to let all the uncertainty keep me from taking action courageously.

Like, she says, We're gonna fast, we're gonna pray, we're gonna ask God for help, we're gonna get the team aligned, and then she said, and then I'm going in.

She could have said, I can't go in.

You know what?

I can't go in.

Uh I can't trust that guy.

You know what?

I can't go in.

The authority figure is erratic.

You know, I can't go in, it's against the rules.

I can't go.

At some point, she went, No, I've looked the threat in the face, I've defined reality.

This is a big deal.

There is No flight.

This is fight.

I'm going to get my plan together.

I'm going to get my heart right.

And I'm going to put one foot in front of the other.

And I'm going to walk myself into that court and I'm going to put myself in harm's way.

And I'm going to step up to the plate.

That's what I'm going to do.

And I think often, man, we start that, we think we have no no no power.

We're powerless in our own lives.

That is not true.

That is not true.

You have power in your life.

Sometimes I think, man, we got to get some of that some of that energy that we get, especially some of that new covenant energy of like who you are in Christ.

Like I know you feel powerless, dude.

I know people are saying stuff about you, doing stuff, making decisions about your life that you don't have control of, but you're not powerless.

There are some things you can do.

So sometimes you just got to power up in the new covenant word.

Like sometimes you got to get some of that Romans 8.11 energy.

And by the same spirit that God raised Jesus from the dead, he'll strengthen your mortal bodies by that same spirit.

You know what I'm saying?

You got to get some of that Romans 8.31 energy, okay?

That Romans 8.31 energy that said, if God is for us, who can be against us?

Some of that Romans 8.37 energy, okay, that I'm more than a conqueror.

I'm more than a conqueror.

Some of that Ephesians 6 energy, putting on the armor of God, so I can stand against the scheme.

And having done all this, stand it says, stand there for like, you know what?

I'm not weak.

I'm a courageous person.

And I'm gonna walk in, and I don't know what's gonna happen, but I'm gonna walk in.

I skipped one because that's number four.

Number three is come up with a plan.

But it's all right, we can get them out of order, still get them all uh right, okay.

The third thing is you gotta come up with a plan.

She comes up with Did I already say that?

I did say that, didn't I?

One of my friends, Dave Domini, he says, he says, a plan, coming up with a plan is how I soothe myself from stress.

Okay?

When you look at the causes of stress, I went online, I was looking at what causes stress.

Difficult relationships, problems at work, grief and loss, an overwhelming project, unemployment cause stress, uh, academic pressure, health problems, financial difficulties.

Every one of these things you can come up with a plan for.

Okay, I've got a relational problem, man, a key relationship.

Okay, what's your plan?

What are you gonna do?

Uh uh gotta have a crucial conversation, but I'm not good at those.

And I get in, okay.

What's your plan?

See, there's no law that says you can't write your thoughts down and go to the person and say, look, this is a really important conversation, and I don't want to start saying things I don't mean because if I do, I can't put them back in my mouth.

So I've written my thoughts and I'd like to read them to you so I get them completely right.

Okay, what was that?

That's a plan.

Is it gonna work?

Don't know, but it's a good plan.

And guess what?

When you come up with a plan for your physical health or what you're gonna do about academic pressure or what you're gonna do about your job stress, if you have no plan, it's even more stressful because you're like, uh, I don't know.

I I've had bad plans that made me feel better, you know.

It wasn't even a good plan, but it's like it's a plan, you know, it'll it'll work.

Like, let's let's give it a shot, okay?

How many know you can score a touchdown on a bad play if you throw your weight into it, okay?

You've seen it snap it over the quarterback's head, somehow they end up in the end zone, bad play.

But you know what?

Sometimes they work.

A plan, a play, it helps with stress.

So you come up with a plan, you act courageously, and the fifth thing is this you release what's out of your control.

Probably the second most famous words after such a time as this is Esther says, after she says, I will go in to see the king, she said, and if I must die, I must die.

If I must perish, I must perish.

She got to this place where she said, You know what?

I don't have control of that.

I'm not ignorant of the threat.

I've looked reality in the face, but I'm not gonna overthink it.

Here's how I think about it you gotta look reality in the face, but don't stare too long.

If you stare too long and you start thinking, oh, here's everything that could happen.

And he could be in a bad mood.

Well, he might, but you worrying about it for three days isn't gonna help it.

So, yeah, he could be in a bad mood.

Well, he could be in a good mood, but if he's in a bad mood, your three-day stress didn't help you out.

Uh well, he could kill me.

And here's about 45 ways he could kill me.

Maybe he impales me on this, maybe he hangs me.

You're staring at it.

You've looked at it, you know what's possible, quit staring at it.

Notice she takes three days to fast and pray and get her heart right, not three days to think about all the things that could come and just stare at what if Xerxes.

And you know what's interesting is if you keep reading in chapter five, she's fasted up, she's prayed up, she's got the team aligned, she puts her robe on, she walks in the court.

Xerxes is like, what's up?

Nice to see you.

Like from the moment he sees her, he's like, Happy to see her.

What a waste of energy, what a waste of stress.

If for three days she's like, What if he's uh what if he's in a bad mood?

What if he could?

You know when you walk in, it's like it's going good.

It's going good.

Could go bad.

I'm not ignorant.

He could do me like he did Vashti, he could do me a whole lot worse.

But you know what?

It went well.

And because it went well, now it started, you see, if you as you keep reading, God uses both Esther and Mordecai at a defining moment to save a nation, a defining moment to help their people, a defining moment to make a gigantic change, to come up with problem-solving things and ideas and things that they didn't nor they wouldn't have normally had.

So you have to release what's out of your control.

I I end with this.

Um I I was I I was feeling stress in my life uh recently, and you know, I was feeling fear, like kind of a deep fear, and I decided, you know, I'm gonna I'm gonna figure out what this is.

Fear and stress, they can be this bully that it's out here, and I'm like, I want to figure this out.

So I had some conversations and I was able to identify some core fears for me, two in particular, that have created kind of an undertone in my life that was stressing me out.

And so I was able to put language on it, two core fears.

I'm gonna share one of them with you.

One of them, a core fear that I have, is that I get to the end of my life and I have a major regret that I look back and go, I blew that, and now it's too late.

Can't do anything about it.

But that was vague for me because I was feeling all the time, like, is what I'm doing today, is it contributing to what I'll regret or not regret?

Like I hadn't really gone in to do all the thinking of like what would I regret?

So what it did was when I started talking it out with with with and getting some help, I was able to really, really define my priority and actually imagine myself on my deathbed looking back, like, what would I regret?

Like, imagine this scenario, how would you feel?

Imagine this scenario, how would you feel?

And because what I was what I was trying to do in my life, because I was worried that I would regret, is I was trying to do it all.

Because I was worried, like, if I don't do it all well, I'm gonna get to the end and I'm gonna be like, oh, but I missed that.

And so I was able to come up with tremendous definition around what priorities I have, and and and then now now I can come up with a plan.

My plan is I'm going to learn as much as I can and give my best energy to the things that matter most.

And because it was that it was that stress, stress in some ways is an invitation into development.

Stress is an invitation to do some thinking if you'll walk into it and really look at it.

And sometimes you do some editing because you're empowered and you go, you know, I've been putting up with that relationship too long.

That's done, that's causing stress.

And get I've been kind of thinking I couldn't end it, but I'm ending it.

You know, this this job over here, okay, I know unemployment's scary too.

I'm not saying it's stress, stress list to be unemployed, but you know, I'm doing this to it's toxic, I'm done, I'm cutting it off.

And so sometimes you you you do some editing in the process, you take the power that God's given you and the the ability to do some things that you have assumed constraints on your own life.

But for me, it caused me to really, instead of this being this ambiguous fear that I was living with on a daily basis, Greg, you're gonna get the end of your life in regret.

I was able to come up with a plan and create tremendous definition.

So, like, I imagine this.

I imagined my max amount of success and taken, you know, professionally and as a leader and as a teacher and all this stuff, and what that would be.

And like, I imagine myself on my deathbed going, man, I got every drop out of my potential, and I did all this.

But I really didn't know my wife, I didn't know her that well, and she didn't feel really loved.

Would I regret that?

That's what I'm scared of.

So then I'm like, well, but I don't want to underachieve as a leader professionally and all the my endeavors and my mission and all this.

I don't want to do that, but what if I had to pick, you know?

What if I was like, I had a PhD in my wife?

Like, dude, I knew that woman, everything about her, I knew what that facial expression meant.

I knew, I knew I finished her sentence, I knew it was in her heart, I knew what made her feel fulfilled, what caused fear.

I just I'm just studying her every day.

I got there, but yet I didn't maybe get to the heights I could have over here.

Would I regret that?

No, no.

So now I got my priorities in line, I've looked reality in the face, I realize to pick this over here means I'm gonna have to say no to some of this over here, which is going to cost me something.

It will cost me something.

Could cost you money, could cost you respect, could cost you opportunity, could cost you something.

Count the cost.

I know what that costs, I know what that pays, I know what this costs, I know what this pays.

I'm gonna pick.

So when I make the pick, I make it, and I make it well, and I don't feel a visceral fear, they're like, but I'm gonna miss.

No, no, no.

I pick my priority, I like my plan.

I'm working my plan now.

I work in my plan now.

So you know what happened?

You know what the byproduct of that was peace and rest.

When you got these on this undercurrent of fear and stress, you can't rest.

You have a nervous breakdown on the beach, sunscreen on your nose, buried in the sand, stress, having a panic attack.

Why?

Because I got this deep stress, man.

This fear under, I don't even know what it is.

Look it in the eye.

Look it in the eye.

Think purpose, come up with a plan, act courageously, release the unknown.

Hey, I don't know if it'll cost me.

It might, it might not.

I'm willing for it.

I'm working my plan and I'm gonna release the things that are out of my control to God and watch what emerges from that.

All of a sudden, peace emerges from that, all of a sudden rest emerges from that.

You can actually take a day off, you can actually exhale a bit.

Why?

It came from actually the stress.

I walked, this is development.

God's doing something here.

Don't wish for, hope for, try for a stress free life.

God, put it into your biology for a reason.

But don't let it overload you to the point that it kills you before your time.

You got to go into it and find how to manage it.

You want to live well, well done, well life, life well lived, you gotta learn how to manage this stress.