Trust God in Friendship | More Wisdom, More Life | Pastor Joe Coffey

Hey everybody, good morning and welcome to Christ Community Chapel.

My name is Joe,

I'm one of the pastors here, and I'm really glad that you've come.

Alright,

this is the second week of our ten week series.

We're calling More Wisdom, More Life.

We're spending ten weeks looking in the book of Proverbs for wisdom.

So let me give you the proverb we're going to look at this morning.

This is Proverbs chapter 13, verse 20.

Proverbs 13:20

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,

but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

That's it.

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,

but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Alright, let me start with a demonstration

of sorts, a prop, and then I will give you my three points.

So come on in.

All right.

Good job, John, thanks.

Okay, this is John Merkle.

John is on our production team and I have watched for a couple of years.

I have watched production

team members tooling around the church hallways on this thing.

It's called a one wheel.

I think it looks cool.

I think it looks pretty easy.

And I've never tried it before, but I was thinking about trying

it right here, right now, for the first time.

All right.

Now, if I ask my wife her opinion and she loves me

more than anybody, she'd be like, oh, I don't think so.

Right?

If I ask a kid down to the skate park, he'd be going

absolutely, I'll be there. Right?

Some of you,

some of you are waiting to take out your phones to see if I'm going to try it.

How do I decide?

Well, the answer is wisdom.

Wisdom. All right. Here are my three points.

What is wisdom?

Why you need wisdom.

How you get wisdom.

What is wisdom?

Why you need wisdom.

How you get wisdom first.

What is wisdom?

Wisdom is not the same thing as morality.

It's related, but it's not the same thing.

Wisdom is what you need for the 80% of day to day decisions

that don't have to do with right and wrong.

Morality is what God has given us

in the Bible that he is said, this is the best thing.

This is right.

This is wrong.

He gives us very detailed instructions about how to handle our sexuality,

about how to handle money, about how to handle our relationships with each other.

And in some ways, those instructions are the easy ones,

because at least we know at least, you know,

like if you decide to exaggerate

or gossip or look at porn or whatever you are saying,

I know the God of the universe who created all things

says I should do this or I shouldn't do this,

and I'm going to overrule him and do what I want to do, right?

It seems crazy that we do it, but those are the easy decisions

because at least we know what God wants.

The harder decisions

are the 80% of decisions you make every day that have nothing

to do with right and wrong, where the Bible doesn't tell us.

Should you give a smartphone to your child?

At what age should they get a smartphone?

What school should you go to?

What should you major?

And should you stay in the job that you're

in right now, or the relationship that you're in right now?

How do you handle your teenage daughter?

Should you take early retirement?

All those questions.

You will not find the answers in the Bible for those you need.

Wisdom.

In the ancient world, wisdom was defined as being able

to navigate the obstacles of life in the best possible way.

It was considered competence in how you deal

and navigate with reality

and what is true nowadays.

People tend to think that we can control reality.

That I have my truth and my truth then becomes what is real.

But that's not the way the ancient world saw it.

It's not really the way things work.

Let me let me give you this analogy.

I have seven grandkids that range in age from 17 years old to six months old,

and they all live around here in town, which is great.

And sometimes they all come over to my house,

and when they do, there's just, you know, chaos for a while.

And the the littles who I'll define as the two year

old, the four year old, the nine year old, the ten year old.

Sometimes they

they will run all around the go down in my basement

and play in my basement for a couple of hours.

And not surprisingly, they don't put everything back where it started.

So after they leave, if I'm going to go down in the basement,

it doesn't matter where I think things are

or where I hope things are.

If I don't want to hit my shin against something

or step on something, I need to turn on a light.

Light is like wisdom, however dim, that shows the obstacles

that you need to navigate in order to get where you want to go.

Right?

So I go home from work and I tell my wife,

hey Karen, I got, I got a great idea for like a sermon illustration.

It will make the sermon really memorable.

I'm going to ride a one wheel and she says, what's a one wheel?

And I say, it's like a motorized skateboard.

And she says, well, have you ever done it?

And I said, no, I'm going to do it for the first time in front of everybody.

She goes on the stage I see on the stage, she said, now,

if it's motorized, could it shoot off the stage?

I said, yep, it can shoot off the stage.

She says, well, Joe, you have ever really ridden a non-motorized skateboard?

What's she doing?

She's not raining on my parade.

She's trying to shed a little light in the dark basement of a man who's forgotten.

He's 67 years old, right?

Wisdom is something all of us need, right?

To navigate what life is like in the best possible way.

Right?

That's what wisdom is.

Now, the second point is why we need wisdom.

This proverb is interesting.

It says this whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,

but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

It doesn't say whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,

and the companion of fools becomes a fool.

It says they will suffer harm.

That's why I like the illustration of a one wheel.

Because if I tried to ride that one wheel right now and I'm not going to.

But if I did, it wouldn't make me a fool in all the other areas of my life.

But I could and probably would suffer harm.

There's a story in the Old Testament of a man named Ray Boehm.

He became king of Israel.

His father was Solomon.

Solomon ruled in the golden era of Israel.

He was super wealthy.

He built tons of cities and magnificent buildings and all that.

And when he died, he gave his kingdom to his son Rabban.

Now at that time there were 12 tribes in Israel, and they were like states,

and there were the northern states and the northern states.

They bore the brunt of the building.

And so they sent a delegation down to meet with Ray bone.

And they said to Ray Boehm, listen, you're your dad worked us really hard,

and we built most of this stuff, and we're tired.

And now we're just going to see how you're going to handle things,

because if you will let up some, we're good.

We'll serve you.

But if you're going to be like your dad, then we're going to have some problems.

And so Ray Boehm said, give me a couple of days.

And what he was saying was, I want time to seek wisdom.

I want to know how to navigate this particular part of life.

Right.

So he goes to his father's advisors first,

and his father's advisors say, yeah, they're right there.

Right?

Your dad worked them really hard and you should let up.

And if you will be their servant leader, they will serve you forever.

And he went, okay, okay.

And then he went to friends his own age.

And he said, what do you think?

And they said, no, absolutely not.

You tell those people that that your dad was nothing compared to you.

They're going to feel like they were on vacation compared to how hard

you're going to work them.

You go after them, tell them who's boss, right.

And if you're reading that for the first time, if you've never read

that story when you're reading it, you're going, oh, that is not good advice.

And sure enough, he takes their advice.

He goes to the to the delegation.

He tells them that they rebel.

There's a civil war the country is split into and never is the same again.

The companion

of fools suffer harm, right?

When I was 25 years old, I was going to buy.

I was getting ready to buy a house.

I was so excited because I was adulting and I was going to be the man.

And so I looked at this house, liked it, was going to buy it.

Then Karen, my wife's parents came into town and she invited them

to take a look at the house before we made an offer.

And so my father in law was walking through the house and he started to notice

some things that I had not noticed, like some of the doors

wouldn't quite shut, which I was evidently going to have an open door policy.

So that was fine.

He he went into one room and he pulled up the carpeting in the corner,

and the walls didn't touch the floor.

And so I went to my wife

and he said, honey, I don't think you should buy that house,

because I think the foundation has shifted.

It's it's a problem.

And so then Karen came to me and she said, my dad says we shouldn't buy the house.

That was so mad.

And I was like, how dare he?

You know, I'm a man.

If I had had a couple

of friends

that were my age and I went to them and I said, my father in law came,

he doesn't like the house I'm going to buy. And they were.

They'd said, hey, you should buy that house.

I'd be paying off that house today, right?

Still,

listen, what the Bible says is you are influenced.

Wisdom is contagious.

You're influenced either toward or away from wisdom.

There were two things I needed to come to grips with

if I was going to grow in wisdom.

These same two things you have to come to grips with, right?

First thing was this

my lack of knowledge about

certain subjects is staggering.

All right, let me like my lack of knowledge about

construction is staggering, right?

The same thing is true of you.

Your lack of knowledge in certain areas is staggering.

There are people sitting around you

that know more about certain things than you will ever know.

And if you think that you don't need anybody to tell you anything,

that you know all you have, all the wisdom that you need to have right now

and there's nothing someone can help you with, then you will never grow in wisdom.

All right.

That's the first thing.

The second thing I had to come to grips with was this I am as wise right now

as I have ever been, and as dumb as I ever will be.

Right you are to.

You are as wise right now

as you have ever been, and you are as dumb as you ever will be.

And I say that because life is a path.

That's what the writer of Proverbs says.

He walks with the wise.

Life is moving. It's like a river.

So that means the questions are changing all the time.

I used to think that someday I would get to the place where I'd be like.

Like a like a guru.

Like I would have all wisdom and I would know how.

But the problem is, the questions change that I need wisdom.

Like when I was in high school, the questions I needed wisdom with with

who are my friends going to be, whether I should, how much should I put?

How much effort should I put into grades?

How important are those?

Should I go out for an athletic team?

Should I go to homecoming those?

And then when I get to college, the questions change again.

What should be my major?

Should I join a fraternity or a sorority or,

well, not me, a sorority, but you should.

What should I do as I as I date and get serious when you get married?

And then how many children are you going to have?

When should you have children?

How do you discipline the children?

What schools do the children go to?

Then they become

teenagers and all those questions change and then they become adults.

And you have to learn how to be a parent of adult children, and then how to care

and honor aging parents and how to deal with your own aging.

This is the thing.

The reason that you need wisdom is that

it's like someone is changing the stuff in the dark basement all the time.

And if you're going to navigate the questions

that are in your life right now, you will need certain people to help you.

But ten years from now,

those questions are going to be different and you'll need somebody else.

And more wisdom, right?

So that's what wisdom is.

That's why you need wisdom.

Now the final question is how do you get wisdom?

How do you get wisdom?

Pastor Zach kicked us off kicked off the series last week

by looking at Proverbs chapter three, verses five and six where it says,

trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.

It's great beginning.

It shows that all of us need wisdom, and the

the source of all wisdom is God.

And if that was the only verse we had about wisdom,

you'd be tempted to

to look to God for every decision,

like not just the ones that are clear in the Bible that.

But you would say, okay, should I give my my child a smartphone?

The way I have to decide that is, I need to pray and lean

not on my own understanding, acknowledge God, and then just try to feel

what God wants me to do and then assume that may

that must be the wisdom that God has provided.

But that's not what the Bible says here.

The Bible says that sometimes God provides wisdom in His Word.

But there's other times

where wisdom comes from other people, and that's super important.

This is what I want you to get,

because there are a lot of really well-meaning, sincere Christians

who either try to get all the wisdom they're going to get from prayer,

or they use the Bible like a magic eight ball.

And I don't want you to do that.

They say, should I take this job?

And they open it up and point the finger and go, you most assuredly so.

You know, that's not the way the Bible is intended to work.

So what do you do?

Right?

It's what the Bible says you're in danger of.

There's a story about an old man who was living out

in the country by himself, and there was a flood that was coming.

It was raining, it was flooding, and a four wheel Jeep drive

pulls up and says, hey, oh, man, jump in, we'll save you.

And he says, no, that's okay.

My God will take care of me.

And then later on the the waters keep rising

and a boat comes by and says, oh man, the floods coming.

Why don't you jump in?

We can save you.

And he says, no, my God will take care of me.

And finally he's up on the roof and the waters are coming by

and the helicopter comes by, drops

a rope ladder and says, oh, man, climb the rope ladder will save you.

And he says, no, it's okay.

My God will take care of me.

And then he dies and he goes to heaven and he says, God, I understand.

I was counting on you to save me.

And God said, I sent a jeep, a boat and a helicopter.

I don't know what the problem was, right?

Listen, you may be looking for wisdom in a particular area of your life.

And you're saying, God, I need you to show me wisdom.

And the way he wants to give you wisdom is through a person, not through a feeling.

Right?

Because what the proverb writer says is that wisdom is contagious.

You catch it, you understand it by the people that you walk through

life with.

All right, so this is the thing.

How do you recognize somebody who's wise?

Let me give you three things to look for.

If you're looking for somebody who's wise, look for who they love.

That's the first thing you look for, who they love.

What I mean by that is you need to find somebody that the

the Bible says that the definition of being a fool is somebody who rejects God.

Proverbs chapter

nine, verse ten says, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

So you want to find somebody who is wise.

You've got to find somebody who knows and loves Jesus.

You can't count on wisdom to be the the person who is a an influencer

on social media, or who's a talking head in your favorite news show.

Look for somebody to help you who at least knows and loves Jesus.

That's the first thing.

The second thing is not only look for who they love, look for how they live.

When I say that, I don't mean how they behave,

I mean how they approach life.

The people I've known in my life who are wise have a

a serenity like a solid ness about them.

There are two things that make me dumb.

I think one is pride in the other's fear.

Like when I almost bought the house when I was

25, I almost bought the house because of pride.

If I had this much more pride, I would have bought that house.

People who are wise

aren't driven by pride or fear,

and the things that the thing that deals with pride and fear is the love of Jesus.

So people who are wise, the love of Jesus has gone deep down inside of when.

When I'm feeling the love of Jesus, strong in inside of me

that I'm not, I don't have the need to inflate myself.

I don't have the need for pride.

And I'm also not nearly as afraid.

So the first thing you look for,

if you're looking for somebody who's wise, is look for who

they love, that they love Jesus.

But the second thing is, look that they are that they understand

the love of Jesus so deep that it gives them

an ability, a peace and a serenity that you're looking for.

And the third thing is look for what they know.

Look for what they know.

Do they know the best practices of God?

Are they living generous, sacrificial, faithful lives?

Do they

know about the area that you need wisdom in?

If I if I'm looking for wisdom on how to deal with the teenage daughter,

I don't want to talk to somebody who doesn't know anything about teenage girls.

I want to find somebody who knows something about them.

Listen, this is the truth.

You're going to need wisdom.

If not right now, then the questions that are coming

you will not know the answer to.

And you're not going to find them all in the Bible.

There are times when God gives you wisdom.

That's true.

But the other times he gives you people.

He gives you people because wisdom is contagious.

And one of the great advantages of being a part of a big church

is there are lots of people.

There are people sitting around you right now who might have the wisdom

that you need, and you don't know it because you're not connected.

One of the disadvantages of being a large church is that you can slip in and out

and take advantage of certain things, but never really get connected.

And I'm telling you, if you do that, you're going to lose out on wisdom

according to this proverb, because that's why we have

we are always pushing you to get connected, to go through reimagine,

to join a circle, get a part, become a part of a

of a Bible study of men, study a women's study.

If you're a grandparent, come to the grandparent huddle because you never know

when God will have the person sitting right beside you

who has the wisdom that he wants you to have

to navigate the world that you are in right now,

and have the answers to the questions you are asking right now.

Every single one of us

needs wisdom, and God has provided it

right here, right now.

Don't miss it.

What you need for wisdom is a wise,

some wise friends to walk with you through life,

because with more wisdom comes more life.

Would you pray with me?

Father in heaven.

Thank you for the way that you have made everything.

I know sometimes there are times when I wish you would answer every question.

Those questions that you have answered about morality.

I pray for every person here, that we would not be so foolish

that we would turn our backs on

what is clear, what you tell us clearly to do or not to do,

but also pray that you would help us to to find the wisdom from each other

that you want us to have to connect with each other in such a way

that we will be able to to walk with each other

and navigate life in the best possible way,

and to find the life that you really want for us.

Thanks for loving us.

Thanks for giving us Jesus and we pray this in his name.

Amen.