The Gospel Promotes Humility (Philemon 8-16)

Well, this morning, I want to ask a question to you. Have you ever known people who aren't very tactful?

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And she goes, you know, what you're saying is good. It's good. It's great. But sometimes how you say it, it could come across a little angry. And I was like, no, we can't. I didn't say it. But I said, okay, well, I'll take that and try to think about that and think about how I say things.

And I think it's something that is important for all of us to begin thinking about how we say things. Dr. Danny Akin was one of my professors in cemetery. People have made that joke so many times to me that I didn't. I promise I didn't. In seminary, he was one of my professors.

And he would often part from his notes sometimes and he would just share some words of wisdom that he had learned from many years of ministry. And I remember one of the things that he would often tell us. He says, in ministry and life, for that matter, few things are more important, more valuable than knowing how to say the right thing.

Think about that. He said, in ministry and life, for that matter, few things are more important, more valuable than knowing how to say the right thing.

What do you mean how to say the right thing? If you're saying the right thing, it doesn't matter how you say it, right? Says every man who's never been married.

But he says, but Dr. Akin, he went on to say, he says, we need to learn how to say the right thing in the right way at the right time and to the right person.

So much in life is not just being right, but it's understanding how to graciously show our brothers and sisters what the truth is.

And so in our passage today, Paul is showing us by his example of the importance of dealing with potential issues in a tactful and godly manner.

He is also showing us we're not to avoid difficult conversations, but we're to approach them in a manner that brings God's name, honor, and glory.

We mentioned last week that we're coming into the middle of the story of Philemon, and we don't know the history of Philemon and Onesimus' relationship.

Although, what we're going to be able to see next week especially is there seems to be some tension.

There seems to be something that happened there where Onesimus probably stole from Philemon because we see next week in verse 18 where Paul says,

and he tells Philemon, he says, if he's taken anything from you, if he owes you anything, put that on my account.

And so we'll unpack that a little bit next week, but we see at least from the get-go that there seems to be something going on that would cause tension in this relationship.

And so he begins to address this, and so it's pretty safe to assume that Onesimus most likely took something from Philemon,

and for a slave to have stolen from his master, that would have been a very serious offense that came with serious consequences.

So the amount of confidence that Paul and Onesimus show in the gospel here,

the amount of confidence they have that the gospel changes lives is pretty staggering to think about.

They're sending, they're confident enough in the gospel, and the gospel, the fact that it changes people's lives,

that they're sending Onesimus back to reconcile this relationship.

And it's a beautiful picture of the power of the gospel to change.

And that's what we emphasized last week, the fact that the gospel changes everything in our lives.

The gospel brings people together, makes us thankful for transformation.

It works through gospel community in powerful ways.

And this week, we begin to see how the gospel changes, how we deal with conflict,

or at least the potential for conflict within the church, but really outside the church walls as well.

And so this is important because conflict almost seems to be unavoidable in our life.

You know, the last few months, we've been studying through the book of James.

And in James chapter 4, James addresses this very issue within the church.

James 4 · chapter mention

He addresses the fact that they're experiencing conflict.

And we know that James was one of the first books of the New Testament to be written.

And so very early on in the life of the church, James is having to ask this question,

what causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?

Because they're experiencing these things.

And conflict many times seems to be unavoidable in our day and time.

I've been to many pastors' conferences and read books on the importance of church health

and dealing with conflict in the church.

And one of the things that always comes up, they always say,

well, even if you're not dealing with this now,

just store it away because you're going to be dealing with it at some point.

I'm like, well, that doesn't, it's not really encouraging for long-term ministry somewhere, is it?

You know, you may not be dealing with it now, but just hold on, it's coming.

You're going to be able to, you're going to have to deal with conflict.

And so many times it feels unavoidable.

But thankfully, the Bible is not silent on the issues that occur within the church.

I'm thankful that it doesn't hide those issues.

I'm thankful that it doesn't paint an unrealistic picture of doing ministry with people who are saved,

but at the same time are still struggling with sin,

that are still struggling with these different things.

And it understands that there's going to be these things that happen.

But what we see as the case with Philemon is we get to see real-life examples of how to deal with it.

And so that being said, if you have a copy of God's Word,

I want to invite you to turn with me to Philemon.

And we're going to start in verse 8 and read through verse 16.

And this is what God's Word says.

It says this,

And so in this passage, we see not only does the gospel have the power to change our relationship with God,

but the gospel has the power to change our relationships and restore broken relationships here on earth as well.

And so as we think about this passage this morning,

there are a few reminders that we see from Paul's actions that we would benefit from,

and also those around us who are hurting would benefit from us using them.

And so to begin with, what I want us to see is the gospel promotes humility.

The gospel promotes humility.

He says,

Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required,

yet for love's sake, I prefer to appeal to you.

I, Paul, an old man, and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus.

He says in effect here, he says,

I'm an apostle, I'm your spiritual father,

so I could have spoken to you with authority.

I could have demanded that you do what is right.

I could have given you specific instructions on how you need to handle this situation.

He says,

But for love's sake, I appeal to you.

I ask you to do what is right.

I'm asking you to do what is right.

Paul is telling him that he doesn't want Philemon to be forced to do something that he doesn't want to do,

but rather,

Paul wants Philemon to look at his own relationship with Jesus

and understand that the gospel changes differently.

The gospel doesn't just change our actions,

but it changes us from the inside out.

He says,

You have a new heart now,

and so I'm appealing to you to do what it is that you are called to do.

It doesn't just change our actions,

but it changes our desires.

What he's saying is,

He says,

I don't want you just to do the right thing,

but I want you to want to do the right thing.

I want you to do this because this is what God has called you to do.

And you see,

He could have asked him to do,

He could have just told him to do what He wanted him to do.

Because apostolic authority would have been something very significant at this time.

If you were to get a letter from one of the apostles like Paul

and asking you to do something,

it would pretty much take a blatant contradiction to the teachings of Jesus for you not to do it.

And so Paul could have easily said,

Look,

I'm the apostle here.

I have some authority here.

You need to do this.

But that's not how he approaches this.

That's not how he goes about doing this.

In fact,

it would have been taken as the word of God for him to do this,

but he doesn't want to do that.

He doesn't want to.

He says,

I don't want you to do this because of who I am.

He's saying,

I don't want you just to change your actions because of who I am,

because I'm asking you to do this.

But he says,

I want you to change because of who Jesus is.

Because of your relationship with Him.

You see,

to demand that wouldn't be the heart of Paul or the heart of Christ.

Because love is foundational to being a follower of Christ.

It dictates how we treat one another.

In fact,

Philemon's name,

it meant the loving one.

And so what Paul is asking him to do,

he's asking him to live up to his name,

say,

to live up to being who he is called as the loving one.

Paul's asking him to live up to this and let his attitude towards Onesimus be the same

as his attitude towards other people in his life.

But Paul,

once again,

is showing his humility by saying,

he says,

I,

Paul,

an old man,

and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus.

He's saying,

look,

I'm doubly helpless.

I'm not demanding anything because I'm doubly helpless.

I'm an old man now and I'm in prison.

And most scholars believe him to be around the age of 60 here.

Real old,

right?

So,

you know,

of course,

you know,

somebody told me,

I think it might've been clay.

Hurt my feelings.

He says,

you know,

you're closer to 60 now than you are 20.

And I was like,

20 just seems like it was yesterday.

And so I know this next 20 years is going to go by very quickly as well.

But yeah,

he,

so he's not really that old of a man,

but he's lived a hard life.

He's experienced a lot in his life and had many difficulties in his life.

And so he probably felt his age a lot more than we might today.

He says,

I'm an old man and I'm in prison.

He says,

look,

I'm not in a position right now that I'm going to demand something of you,

but I want to appeal to you.

I want you to ask you to do what is right.

So Paul is asking Philemon to show this old man and the prisoner,

the difference that Christ has made in his life and to do the right thing.

And Paul in making his appeal,

his request out of love is modeling for us an example of humility.

You might can force someone to do something they don't want to do for a little while,

but God is concerned with far more than right actions,

but he's concerned with a right heart.

Jumping down to verse 14 really quickly,

he says,

but I prefer to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion,

but by your own accord.

He says,

I didn't want to,

I didn't want to ask you in a way that you're going to do it because you feel bad for me or because

I'm demanding this.

I want you to do this because this is what you want to do.

We must first look at our own actions and make sure that we are acting in love as we deal with conflict.

One commentator,

he put it this way.

He says,

it's never right to be rude.

It's never right for those who follow Jesus to be arrogant,

abrasive,

or uncouth.

He says,

to be called obnoxious for Jesus is not a badge of honor,

even if you may be in the right.

And he says,

our evangelism would be more effective if we would remember this.

And he says,

so would our marriages and family life as well.

So let us respond to each other within the church,

within our families,

within our homes,

within the workplace,

in us with a sense of humility.

And so the next reminder that we see in this passage is something that's,

that I would say is difficult at times.

And sometimes it's avoided because we try to avoid conflict at all costs.

And while the Bible does promote unity within the church,

and it never wants us to,

to have conflict for the sake of conflict.

That's not a biblical principle that we see in scripture,

but it does want us to stand firm on the truth.

It does want us to speak up for those who have no voice.

And so that's what I want us to see next in this passage is the gospel promotes advocacy.

The gospel promotes advocacy.

Listen to Philemon 10 through 14.

It says,

It says,

And so we see advocacy in two ways here.

We advocate for those with no voice,

and we advocate for those who may be seen like a lost cause to everyone else.

So we advocate for those with no voice,

and we advocate for those who others might see as a lost cause.

To begin with,

we advocate for those with no voice.

We might miss the significance of verse 10 here because of the amount of background that we've given up to this point.

But I don't want you to lose the significance of verse 10.

In verse 10,

this is the first time that Paul actually uses Onesimus' name in this letter.

About halfway through is the first time we see who this letter is about.

The whole letter is a plea for Onesimus,

but this is the first time that he brings his name up.

And in fact,

in the Greek,

he doesn't bring his name up until the very end of this sentence.

It says,

in our translation series,

it says,

I appeal to you,

therefore,

my child,

Onesimus,

whose father I became in my imprisonment.

But in the Greek,

it would have been read more along the lines of,

I appeal to you for my child,

whose father I became in my imprisonment,

Onesimus.

And so all of a sudden,

this buildup to this point,

this buildup to his request for who this request is for is significant.

He's saying,

I appeal to Paul very graciously and humbly speaks up for Onesimus.

Now,

Philemon probably had already seen him since Colossians tells us that Onesimus accompanied Tychius

in delivering the letter to the Colossian church,

which was meeting in Philemon's home.

And so unless he was hiding behind the barn somewhere and trying to figure out how Philemon is going to take this letter,

he's probably already seen him.

But the significance of what Paul is about to ask him would still have taken him by surprise.

David Garland notes,

he says,

Philemon's culture had conditioned him to view slaves as less than full of slaves.

persons who were deservedly consigned to their lot by faith.

And Philemon would have been expected to exact revenge on one who stole away.

But Paul is not advocating for him.

But Paul is now advocating for his brother in Christ.

He's asking Philemon to not do what is culturally permissible.

And also,

honestly,

what is culturally expected to do.

But in a radical way,

show this former slave,

show this Onesimus,

the radicalness of God's grace in our life.

Don't just,

don't just do what is expected.

Don't do what everybody's expecting you to do.

But in a very radical display of God's grace,

bring him in as your brother in Christ.

F.F.

Bruce describes the significance of this appeal by summarizing his request.

He says,

He is requesting his friend and convert,

Philemon of Colossae,

to receive back his slave,

Onesimus,

on new footing.

No longer as a slave,

but a fellow Christian and partner in the service of the gospel,

to which Philemon,

like Paul himself,

is dedicated to.

Paul,

in his appeal to Philemon,

is advocating for his brother in Christ,

Onesimus.

Paul,

the apostle,

one of the key leaders of the early church,

the greatest missionary and church planner the world has ever seen,

one of the key leaders in the spread of Christianity,

in the spread of the church,

is now graciously and humbly using his voice

to speak up for one who has no voice.

Think about the significance of this.

Paul is humbling himself.

He is one of the greatest missionaries,

the greatest leaders of the early church,

and he's now using his voice,

his position of influence,

to speak up for someone who has no voice.

This is what God has called us to do as well.

If God has given us a position of authority,

if God has given us things,

he doesn't just give us those things to use them for ourselves,

but he gives them to use for his honor and his glory.

And so we are called to use our voice

to speak up for those who have no voice.

This is what it means to love our neighbor.

The mission of God involves speaking up for those who have no voice.

This is a vital part of sharing the gospel.

May we never over-spiritualize missions

and reduce it to only being concerned about a person's eternity

and not what they're going through right now.

Spurgeon pleaded with his congregation when he said these words.

He says,

Some cannot receive Christ

because they are so full of anguish

and are so crushed in spirit

that they cannot find strength enough of mind

to entertain a hope

that by any possibility salvation can come to them.

The mere struggle to exist

exhausted all of their energy

and destroyed all of their hope.

I do not wonder that a great many

are unable to receive the gospel

in the city of ours

because their struggle for existence is so awful.

If any of you can do anything

to help the toil-worn workers,

I pray that you do it.

I pray that you do it.

Let us do all we can for the weak

to alleviate their present suffering

and let us do all that we can

to tell them of a Savior

who made a way where there was no way.

Who left heaven and lived the life

they couldn't and died the death they deserve

so that they now can have new life in Him.

Not only do we advocate for those

who have no voice,

but we advocate for those

who others may see as a lost cause.

He says,

Formerly He was useless to you,

but now He is indeed useful to you and me.

I am sending Him back to you,

sending my very heart.

You see, the name Onesimus means useful.

And so often slaves would be given this name

in hopes that they would live up to their namesake,

in hopes that they would be useful.

And now there's almost this play on words

where He says,

Useful was useless.

A useless runaway slave

would have seemed like a lost cause to many.

It would have seemed like,

what's the point in even addressing this?

What's the point in even giving Him the time of day?

As we noted last week,

Alistair Begg described Him

as what would be considered

one of the dregs of Roman society.

But the reality of the gospel

is that we are all lost.

That we are all lost causes apart from Jesus.

But the beauty of the gospel

is that with Jesus,

there are no lost causes.

The beauty of the gospel is

that nobody is too far gone.

There's no such thing.

In society today,

many people fall into two categories.

They'll fall into one category

of saying,

You know what?

I think I'm a pretty good person.

And I've lived a pretty good life.

And because of that,

if you look at my life

compared to everybody else's life around me,

I'm doing pretty good.

And the problem with this

is you don't see your need for a Savior.

If you think that you've got this

on your own pretty good,

that you've got everything under control pretty well,

then all of a sudden,

you don't see your need for a Savior.

If you don't see the significance of your sin,

you're not going to see

the significance of the cross.

But at the same time,

there's a whole other group

that in society today

that I feel like they're just lost causes.

They look at their life

and they think about all the ways

they've messed up over and over again.

And they seem to just have

this overwhelming sense of sin in their life.

And they think,

What's the point?

God's not going to want this.

God's not going to want to do anything with this.

But nothing could be further from the truth.

And so we must not find ourselves

in either one of these categories.

But let us understand

that yes, our sin is a big deal.

Our sin has separated us from God.

And apart from Christ,

we are all lost causes.

But because of what Jesus did,

because of who He is,

what He accomplished on the cross,

there's no such thing as a lost cause.

And so if you're here today

and you think,

Well, I just,

there's no way that God would want me.

I've messed up too much in my life.

There's no way,

there's no way that He can bring me back from this.

There's no way He would want

to bring me back from this.

Understand,

nothing could be further from the truth.

That what God accomplished on the cross

can count for you

by placing your faith

and your trust in Him.

Ultimately,

Paul is asking Philemon

to love Onesimus as himself.

Love the one that everybody else

would have given up on

as yourself.

Jesus said,

The greatest commandment is,

You shall love the Lord your God

with all of your heart

and with all of your soul

and with all of your mind.

This is the great and first commandment.

He said,

And the second is like it.

You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

On these two commandments

depend all the law

and the prophets.

You are to love God

and you are to love your neighbor

as yourself.

This means that every aspect

of human existence,

every part of us

is touched with the gospel.

All of a sudden,

our priorities are different.

We're to love God

with all of our heart,

soul, and mind.

And we're to love our neighbor

as ourself.

Carl F.H. Henry once spoke

of the evangelical tendency

to speak only of the spiritual aspect

of mission.

He said,

Only speaking directly to evangelism

and not speaking to mercy

that people need.

He says,

This mercy asks the simple question,

If I am to love my neighbor

as myself,

do you minister to yourself

in the same way?

He says,

Do you refuse to feed yourself

because you have the gospel?

He said,

Do you refuse to clothe yourself

because you have the gospel?

No, of course not.

So love your neighbor

as yourself,

your whole self.

Advocate for those

who have no voice.

Advocate for those

that the world would see

as lost causes

and share the greatest news

the world has ever heard.

And so the final reminder

that I want us to see

from this passage is this.

The gospel promotes

dependence on God.

The gospel promotes

dependence on God.

15 and 16,

it says this,

For this perhaps

is why he

was parted from you

for a while

that you may have him

back forever.

No longer as a bondservant,

but more than a bondservant,

as a beloved brother,

especially to me,

but how much more to you,

both in the flesh

and in the Lord.

Achan makes a powerful observation

from this passage.

He says,

The Roman Empire

saw Onesimus as a slave.

It saw only with its,

with the eyes of the flesh.

Paul,

in stark contrast,

saw Onesimus

as a dearly loved brother.

He was now part of

a special family,

God's family.

For Paul,

this was especially precious

because he saw Onesimus

as not only his brother,

but as his spiritual son.

Now, for Philemon,

the new spiritual status

of Onesimus

should be much more special.

He is getting Onesimus back

both on an earthly

and a spiritual plane.

Philemon had to see this.

He had to rejoice in this.

Only the eyes of faith

and faith in one crucified

like a slave himself

could enable Philemon

to see things as they were.

Only God can do this.

Only God can transform like this.

Only God can transform our lives,

restoring our broken relationships

with Him,

but also our broken relationships

with one another.

Only He can do this.

And maybe it was because

there are so many groups

that are studying

the book of Esther right now

on Wednesday nights

in our life groups.

But there's a passage,

there's a verse

that kept coming to mind

from the book of Esther

as I was reading through this,

especially this verse 14 right here

or 15 where it says,

for this perhaps

is why He was parted from you

for a while

that you may have Him back forever.

See, in Esther 4, 14,

it says,

Who knows whether you have come

to the kingdom

for such a time as this?

For perhaps

this is why He has parted from you

for a while

that you may receive Him back.

Who knows whether you have come

to the kingdom

for such a time as this?

I love how these verses

recognize the sovereignty of God

while at the same time

humbly recognizing

our inability to know.

We don't always know

why God has placed people

in our lives,

but we do know

what He's called us to do.

We don't always know

why God has placed us

in different places

at different times

in our lives.

We don't always know

why God has put people

in our lives,

but what we do know

is that God has called us

to love.

God has called us

to love them

and point them

to the greatest hope

this world has ever heard.

Perhaps

God is placing people

in your life

that you need to do

all that you can

to point them

to the gracious

and loving Savior

who died on the cross

for their sins.

Perhaps God is placing

people in your life

who desperately need

to know

the only hope

in this life

is a relationship

with Jesus.

Perhaps we need

to respond to others

in a gracious

and humble way,

in a way that we see

modeled for us

throughout Scripture.

Perhaps God is placing

people in our life

who desperately need

to know Him.

Perhaps we need

to open our eyes

to the needs

that are around us.

Perhaps we need

to be more intentional

in allowing people

into our lives

and pointing them

to hope.

Perhaps we need

to advocate

for those who

have no voice.

Perhaps we need

to understand

that there are

no lost causes.

perhaps we need

to look at

our own lives

and realize

that we are sinners

and that this

is a big deal.

And that we recognize

that our only hope

in this life

is a relationship

with the King of Kings

and the Lord of Lords.

The one who

left the glory of heaven

for us

to restore

that broken relationship.

So perhaps

we need to look

at our lives

and see what God

is calling us to do

in the places

that He's called us

at this time.

Father,

we thank You

so very much

for all that You do

for us each and every day.

God,

we thank You

for this story

of Philemon here.

A story that reminds us

of the mighty ways

in which You work

in this world.

A story that reminds us

that we are to

approach conflict,

that we approach

difficulties

in the church

and in our lives

in a humble way,

in a humble

and gracious way.

But Lord,

also a story

that reminds us

that You've called us

to speak up

for those who have

no voice.

That You've called us

to show hope

to those

that the world

claims are hopeless.

But Lord,

we recognize

that You

and You alone

are worthy

of our worship.

And we recognize

that You

and You alone

are the one

that can save.

And so Lord,

help us to give

our lives to You.

And I pray

that if there's someone

here today

that doesn't know You

as their Lord

and Savior,

Lord,

that You would

burden their hearts,

that they would

come to You,

that they would

recognize that yes,

we all,

apart from Christ,

are hopeless,

that we can't do

this on our own.

But because of

what You accomplished

on the cross,

because of who You are,

there's no such thing

as someone who's hopeless.

And so Lord,

help us to give

our lives to You.

Help us to follow You

in everything

that we say and do.

So thank You

so much for Jesus

and the difference

that He makes

in our life.

And we ask all these

things in His name.

Amen.