None Of My Business with Tony Jennings

Welcome to the Southside Church Podcast.

Weekly content that inspires all of us to follow Jesus.

Join us each week for a message from one of our fantastic communicators that provide practical ways to grow our faith, challenge ourselves, and to love others more.

And now, this week's message.

So I've got a question for you.

And you don't have to answer it out loud, but have you ever experienced something and thought to yourself, you know, if only I had said something.

If only I had done something.

Have you ever thought that to yourself?

Now, you know where this typically finds itself to be true?

It's within our family dynamics.

And let's just all be honest, all of our families are a little dysfunctional at times, right?

But that's usually where it pops up.

But you know how how transformative and how serious it is when no one makes the decision to intervene.

Maybe it was someone that had some type of addiction and no one said anything.

Or maybe it was the relationship, the marriage that's on rocky ground that everybody in the family notices, but no one decides to speak up, no one decides to say anything.

Or maybe it's the parent whose anger goes unchecked.

Or maybe it's the child that's shouting out, help in so many ways.

They're shouting out, help me, help me, please.

But everybody turns the other way.

And you know what's interesting?

More often than not, right?

Our decision not to say anything, our decision not to speak up, our biggest regret lies in our decision not to speak up.

Lies in our decision not to show up.

And let's be honest, we all sometimes think, well, what if I say something?

And what if the thing that I say it offends them?

Or what if I actually show up when they don't really want me to show up and they become so defensive and it ruins our relationship?

You know what I'll just do?

I'll just gonna mind my business.

I'm not gonna say anything, I'm not gonna speak up, I'm not gonna show up, I'm just going to mind my own business.

However, if you've been on the receiving end of someone intervening in your life at a time when you need it the most.

If you've been on the receiving end of someone saying something to you, of someone showing up to you when all you needed was someone to come close, you know how transformative it is when someone intervenes.

And yeah, at first, when they said something, when they acknowledged the thing that you've been struggling with, when they said the thing that you thought no one knew, that no one noticed, when they finally looked at you and said, Hey, I think you should.

Hey, it's probably wise if you think about it.

Or, hey, you probably shouldn't say that, you probably shouldn't go that way.

You know how transformative that was in a time of your life when you needed someone desperately to come close to you.

Yeah, when they said the thing, when they acknowledged the thing, you thought you were hiding that you thought no one else knew, you might have been a little frustrated at first.

You might have wanted to say some things that I don't think we'll say in church today.

But eventually, and eventually could have been two weeks later, two days later, eventually could have been about three years later.

You thanked God that someone showed up at the time of your life when you needed someone to show up most.

You thank God that they said the thing, the quiet thing out loud, that they said it to you in your face, and they just didn't say it behind your back, but they came to you, they approached you and they said to you that you can blank, blank, blank, dot, dot, dot.

And you look back on your life, and for many of you, that may have been the reason why you followed Jesus, because that has been such a bright spot in your story.

You look back and you go, what if they hadn't said anything?

I'm so grateful that they did.

I'm so grateful that they that they took seriously this passage that we are about to read in a little bit.

That they didn't just let you do the thing that you were doing, that they decided that you were so important to them in their lives, that your life was so meaningful, that your life was so valuable, decided to say something to you.

And let's be honest, in a world that shouts, hey, live your truth.

You do you, boo.

You do you do your thing, you do what's right for you, and you know what I'll do?

I'll do what's right for me, and we'll live happily ever after.

Guess what?

Autonomy.

And individualism has become our highest virtue.

Doing you.

Doing what's right for you is the right thing for you, and what's right for me is essentially the right thing for me.

And you know what's interesting about this?

This in many ways has found itself seeping into our churches.

And for Christianity, we've allowed this way, this way of thinking, to do just that, to seep into the very nature of our churches.

And partially it be it's probably because of the way, the way we're kind of set up on Sundays, right?

You you see that these incredible volunteers from Pat and Jason and James and Aaron who set up these amazing signs that you see coming in.

And then you walk in and you drop, if you've got kids, you drop your kids off in Upstreet or Wamblin or Transit.

You drop them off in the evening times at Inside Out, and then you come in, and if you don't have kids, you go get a great cup of coffee, and you come in and you greet a few of our guest services volunteers, you say good morning.

And for my introverts, well, you decide, you say nothing at all?

But we get it, we get it.

Introverting and extroverting, I get it, I get it.

For introverts, extroverting is hard.

But then you come in, you sit in your seat, and because some of us are creatures of habit, we like our seats.

We sit in our seat and we sit down, and we may not say this out loud, but sometimes this is how it feels.

I'm ready to be entertained.

Entertain me.

Let's go.

And here's what we've done as a coincidence of that, and as a consequence of that.

We allowed our preferences and our comfortability to determine our relationship with Jesus, and more importantly, to determine our level of engagement.

So as long as they say the right things, as long as they sing the songs that are light, as long as he doesn't talk about me but talk about those people that need to hear these things, as long as he talks to my husband and not to me, as long as I can do this to the person I'm sitting next to.

Did you hear that?

As long as I show up in church once a month, once a quarter, or whenever my time, my time and my schedule permits me to do it, and if I pray once a week at least, I know that I'll get a good grade on my following Jesus report card.

And so it's incredibly easy for us to reduce our relationship with Jesus, to reduce Christianity with what fits best for me, what makes me feel comfortable, what matches my preferences.

Let's be honest, the setup in church somehow it convinces us that we don't need accountability.

Because guess what?

We are here in church, we're doing what is right.

And I'll be honest, sitting in rows, the rows that you're sitting in today, sitting in rows makes this easily avoidable.

And so does reducing Christianity to a list of beliefs and our very own preferences.

However, Paul, one of the authors of much of the New Testament scripture, writes to the church in Galatia.

And here's what he writes.

So if you have your Bibles, feel free to pull them out right now.

We're going to jump in Galatians 6 and 1.

If you've got your phone, you can pull that out too.

And guess what?

If you've got neither, they'll be on both screens for you.

Okay, so let's let's jump in.

He goes, hey, uh, brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, uh, sin simply means to miss the mark.

What's the mark?

The mark of loving God and loving people with all of our heart, making mistakes, doing things that are harmful to ourselves, and also harmful to others.

So that's sin.

Then he goes on to say, you who live by the Spirit, what does this mean?

Those who have surrendered to the prompting of God's Spirit.

Continues to write, should restore that person gently.

Restore.

This word restore means uh cause to function well, to put back in order.

And gently, well, because gentleness is one of the fruit of the spirit that Paul writes about later on in Galatians.

And so, so for us, you may be thinking, okay, um, how is this my responsibility?

Why is this my responsibility?

Can't I just show up to church?

This seems all too complicated.

This seems all too inconvenient.

This disrupts my comfort.

How why, as a follower of Jesus, specifically for follower of Jesus, why should I care about the other person?

I can't, it's it's too much to care about what's happening in their lives.

I have my own things that I have to navigate in my life.

This feels too much.

So what's our response?

We go, hey, well, no, thank you.

It's none of my business.

And Paul continues with this, and this is imperative.

This next verse is so imperative for every person that's a follower of Jesus.

And if you're here and you're new to faith or you may not follow him, this is one of the reasons why I think I imagine that it would be an incredible opportunity for you to lean in and maybe make the decision to follow him.

Because our responsibility as followers of Jesus is to carry each other's burdens.

It's essential, it is important, it is imperative, it is what we're called to do.

We're called to get under the weight of someone else's burdens.

I know that it's easy to think and to consider that we're meant to do life by ourselves, but we're not.

And one of the most challenging things for all of us to do is to consider what someone else might be going through, what someone else might be navigating, the challenges, the difficulties of life, and they're trying to carry it all by themselves.

They're carrying so many different different buckets, so much weight, and we're required.

It's our responsibility to carry each other's burdens, to get underneath what's separating them from their relationship with their Heavenly Father.

So Paul continues with this.

And in this, you will fulfill the law of Christ.

By confronting, by restoring, by coming alongside, you fulfill the law of Christ.

John 13, 34, it says like this a new command I give you, love one another as I have loved you, so you must love one another.

To carry each other's burden is a way that we show, a way that we prove, a way that we display our love for each other, and more importantly, our love for our Heavenly Father.

So this is important because this is essential for us.

This is not an option for followers of Jesus.

You don't get out of this opportunity.

It's something that we get to do, and this is following Jesus.

And because I once sat in your seat before, I know what you may be thinking.

You may be thinking this uh, hey Tony, how does sticking my nose in someone else's sin fulfill the law of Christ?

I get it.

I get it.

But for us to fulfill the law of Christ is to love others the way He has loved us.

Because here's the thing: Jesus, when Jesus died for us, he could have easily just abandoned us.

But Jesus didn't do that.

He didn't leave us to our sins, he didn't leave us to our mistakes, he didn't leave us so distant from our Heavenly Father.

That's what Pharisees do.

That's what people who care only about religion, that's what they do.

They say, hey, get your act together, and then we can hang out.

Once you get it all together, once you figure out and navigate this journey and this path that you're on, once you make it through this hard time that you're struggling with a thing that no one knows you're struggling with, once you get on the other side of it, guess what?

We can finally talk.

Get your act together.

This this woman basically, this woman has committed adultery, throws stones at her.

Let's fulfill the law of Moses.

She deserves to die.

There's this moment when in John chapter 8.

John 8 · chapter mention

Jesus is outside of the temple courts.

And these religious leaders and people, they bring out this woman who had committed adultery.

And they go to Jesus because they're trying to trap him a little bit.

They go to Jesus and say, hey, um, the law of Moses says to that we should stone her.

She should be put to death.

And Jesus, in Jesus' fashion, he kneels down and he begins to write something in the sand.

And then he says, hey, if if anyone is basically without sin, go ahead and stone her.

You know what happened?

No, people didn't pick up stone.

They started to walk away.

They started to walk away.

And Jesus looks at her and basically tells her, You're free to go.

I'm not going to condemn you.

Leave your life of sin.

In this moment, Jesus doesn't condemn her.

He doesn't make her feel less than.

He doesn't make her feel small.

He doesn't make her feel insignificant or invaluable.

No, what he does is so like Jesus.

What he does is filled with so much grace and so much love.

What Jesus does is what we're required to do, he restores her.

And for many of you who've been following Jesus for a while now, you've probably asked God's forgiveness over a dozen times.

And I beg to believe that you're confident that he forgave you.

Now that doesn't mean that there aren't consequences for the things that you've done wrong.

No, that there are.

But you know that he forgave you.

You're confident that he restored you.

And you've been on the receiving end and you know what that has felt like in your walk with him.

Now we've been given this extraordinary opportunity for followers of Jesus to give that away.

To extend forgiveness to other people.

Can I get your eyes for just a moment here?

Can I get everybody's eyes?

Specifically for followers of Jesus.

The less someone deserves your forgiveness, and you make the decision to forgive them anyway, the more like Jesus you become.

The more like Jesus you become.

And now you're probably wondering, um yeah, that seems difficult to do today.

That seems extraordinarily hard because of what I've experienced.

So for followers of Jesus, you may be thinking, well, um, hey, uh, can I just attend church occasionally?

Right?

Wouldn't that make me an okay follower of Jesus?

Remember, I just need D's to pass.

C's and D's, they get can't I just believe a few things?

As long as I believe that Jesus died and rose for me, that God sent him, that he is God's son, and as long as I believe somewhat in the Holy Spirit, can't can't I isn't that enough for me to pass?

Can't I just give a few dollars when the air quotes spirit leads?

Isn't that enough?

Isn't that enough for me to at least be a part of the kingdom of God?

But but here's here's what I want you to know.

And this is important.

Like yes, you can do these things.

But you may end up standing outside of the kingdom of God and watching God do extraordinary things in the ordinary.

The consequence of that is that you you may be filled with a little bit of regret.

And that's not, those are those are not my words, those are Jesus' words.

You might be thinking, well, as long as I do these three things, won't this be enough?

No.

Because here's what we miss when we think this is it.

We miss the opportunity for accountability.

We miss the opportunity for community, we miss the opportunity for belonging, we miss the opportunity for care.

We miss the opportunity to experience life connected.

And my teachers in the room, you may fuss at me right now, but hold on, don't fuss at me too soon.

Because here, this is why we've organized around groups, because part of the reason is we believe that circles are better than classes.

I didn't say classroom, not your classrooms.

But circles are better than classes.

But there's entire place and need for classes.

But community is essential.

That's why when Peace Tree City, our campus, one of our campuses on the south side of Atlanta, when they decided to lunch, they lunched over 20 years ago.

They decided to lunch around groups.

They met in Fayetteville, in Noonan, in Peace Tree City, in Tyrone, some in Atlanta, some in Jonesboro, some all over Clayton County.

They met in groups because they believe and we believe that circles are better than rows.

And I think we spend more money than any other church, more resources than any other church, making sure that there's incredible content, incredible gatherings, incredible opportunities for you to gather in community, for you to gather in small groups.

Because circles are better than rows.

And here's the thing AA, they figured this out a long time ago.

They figured that sitting in rows leaves too much wiggle room.

I mean, because just imagine, just for a little bit, if each of these rows were turned in circles.

Imagine what would happen.

It is hard to sit in a circle and not be vulnerable.

It is hard to sit in the circle when someone is sharing some of the most heartfelt things that have happened in their lives, not to care for them, not to encourage them, and not to offer a head to support.

And I think this is why Paul points out the very next verse.

Why we resist this level of connection and accountability.

And here it is.

If anyone thinks they are something, right, basically what he's saying, if anyone thinks that they're above, um, having the need to connect with someone else, having the need for community, they're probably thinking, hey, that's for less busy people.

That's for people who are not leading Fortune 500 companies, that's for people who don't have organizations that they're leading or a ton of kids that they're parenting.

That's for those, that's that's not for those for the other people, not for people who have busy lives.

Paul says, well.

When they are not.

They're not all that.

They deceive themselves.

But basically what Paul is saying, and Paul is trying to encourage us that hey, apart from the community, you're nothing.

I am nothing.

Apart from the people around us.

And y'all know this is so true.

And y'all y'all are way smarter than I am, so you so you know this to be true.

The easiest person to deceive is not the people that are sitting next to you, it's yourself.

The easiest person to deceive is yourself.

Thinking that, hey, I can do life by myself.

Life is for me, life is about me, I can make all of my decisions on my own.

I don't need any help in any area of my life.

I got this.

Right?

And often we've been communicated, and y'all know this to be true, we've been communicated that that's strength.

That's being strong.

But in actuality, y'all, that's arrogance.

That's arrogance speaking.

That's arrogance speaking to you.

And you know what arrogance communicates?

And it convinces us?

It convinces us that we're above the need of support, above the need of communicate of community, above the need to communicate to someone else.

Above the need to belong.

It also communicates.

I've got this.

I don't need help.

I don't need anyone speaking into my life.

And the opposite holds true as well.

It also whispers this that, hey, no one needs me.

No one wants my encouragement.

Who will trust me enough?

Me.

Someone like me to speak into their lives.

To speak into the things that they need to actually show up and support them.

Who?

Who will do that?

Who will want someone like me in their community?

But I need you to hear me when I say this.

Arrogance, it's ignorance.

Because it communicates.

It communicates that, hey, I don't need anyone.

I can do it by myself.

I've got this.

I'm strong.

I'm confident.

I'm confident in myself, in my ability, that it's all about me.

It's all about my thinking.

What I want.

It communicates that my perspective is the only perspective that matters.

Because arrogance is ignorance, it is also very, very dangerous.

Because it tells you that you don't need wise counsel.

You don't need anyone to hold you accountable.

That you can hold yourself accountable, and we all know how untrue that is.

And here's the thing: one of the greatest, and some of the greatest failures that have ever happened, not just in scripture, but in everyday life, and maybe you've had a front row seat to failure, wasn't because someone lacked talent.

It wasn't because they lacked ability to get it done.

It's because of their unwillingness to listen.

It was their unwillingness to learn.

And the harsh reality of arrogance is that it isolates.

It pushes the very people away that God is trying to place in your life.

And it yells out loud.

It convinces us that inter-independence.

Independence is maturity.

When biblical maturity is actually interdependence.

It's the ability to depend on someone else and allow someone else to do this, to depend on you.

Here's what I need you to know.

God never designed us to carry life's burden.

But y'all know this better than I do.

That it takes humility.

It takes humility to stand underneath the weight of someone else and go, hey, I'll carry it with you.

It takes humility to go to them and say, hey, how can I help you?

How can I serve you?

How can I walk with you through this?

But it also, it also takes humility to let someone in.

It takes humility to go, hey, I really need accountability.

I really need support.

I really need someone to intervene right now because if you don't intervene, I don't know what'll happen next.

Here's the thing.

I could stand here for the next hour.

Well, y'all got excited.

There we go.

I could stand here for the next hour and just talk to you about community, community, community, and how much it matters.

But I'd rather you also hear it.

Your story of how community has truly impacted someone else's life.

Let's take a listen.

Growing up, I was no stranger to challenging situations.

I was raised by a single dad, and I lived by the mantra that he taught me, which is I can handle this, I can take care of myself, and I can soldier on.

And that's pretty much what I did.

From the time of my parents' divorce, uh, my father told me as a 10-year-old, um, Jim, I need you to be independent.

I need you to be able to take care of yourself, I need you to be able to handle yourself.

You know, that worked for me.

That worked for me for 30-some years.

Professionally, my life is going great.

Meet a girl, it uh turns into a six-year relationship.

We do end up getting married, and it's just not the right fit.

We end up coming to a point uh where we end up getting a divorce.

And even at this low point, I just kept doing what I would do previously, which is put my head down, push through it, make a way for myself.

I did have one friend that I that I kind of counted on.

Um turns out that he was eventually interested in dating my ex-wife.

I remember the morning that he told me that this was happening and going to happen.

And I just broke.

I did not know what the next step should be.

I just collapsed on my couch in tears and just not having any knowledge of where to go.

I thought to myself, maybe this is where life has gotten me, doing things on my own.

And that maybe I should try a different path.

Thinking to myself, you need to give this Jesus thing a shot.

And so the next step for me was to get myself in a group.

My first group's experience literally lit a fire under me in terms of being in community, being around other people, being in circumstances and with people that we could do life together, that we could share, that we could open up, that we could be real with.

And it just has paid off in so many ways.

If I had a chance to go back and talk to my younger self, I would tell him, you don't have to do it all yourself.

You can actually be better by being with others.

It's so much easier and richer to go through life when you're known by somebody else and known by others.

It will make things so much more fulfilling for you.

Okay, so I know that I've made um being in community groups very, very serious.

Um, but it's not as serious.

Yes, it's important, but it's not as serious.

Um, yeah, you're gonna be sharing some of your burdens, you're gonna be sharing some of your sins, some of your mistakes, you're gonna open your heart up in ways that you probably thought was impossible to do.

That's gonna happen, and that's going to feel serious.

But we're gonna do this quick exercise, um, and I'm gonna show you a little bit also what can happen in groups as well.

So I need everybody, we're gonna clap together.

Okay, here we go.

Ready?

I'm gonna start.

Well, I'll I'll start and then y'all join in.

Okay, you ready?

All right, here we go.

This is simple, this is basic, but but I think it'll truly, truly um give a good example because I'm looking at some of y'all's faces and you look so serious.

Okay.

Here we go.

You ready?

All right, I'm gonna start and then y'all will join in.

I'll tell you when to join in.

Okay, all right, here we go.

Um, not yet.

I want y'all to see me try to clap and have some rhythm here.

All right, now join in.

Let's go.

Okay.

Now, everybody, smile a little bit.

No, I need to see teeth.

I don't see teeth.

There we go.

I'm seeing some teeth.

All right.

Now look at the person next to you around you somewhere and do the same thing.

Smile and clap.

Smile and clap.

Okay, stop, stop, stop.

Did you hear that?

Y'all heard that, right?

Y'all heard a little laughter?

Y'all saw the smiles?

Y'all, that's also what can happen in groups.

That's also there for you.

Yes, you're gonna share some of those burdens, some of those hardships.

Yeah, for sure.

But you're gonna laugh a little bit.

You're gonna dance probably more than you ever thought you could dance.

You're gonna sing some sums, you're gonna share some celebratory moments in your life.

So here's what I know to be true is that life is better connected.

And I want you to experience the beauty of community.

So let me pray for us.

Heavenly Father, gosh, what a gift it is as always, um, that we get to come together, folks from all walks of life.

We get to sit here on Sunday and be in community together.

I say this all the time because I don't want us to take it for granted.

But there are folks around our world.

They have to hide doing this, they have to do this in basements, they have to do this at 2 o'clock in the morning because of what could possibly happen to their lives.

So we thank you that we get to do community and worship and learn and sing and gather together.

So I'm praying that that all of us will take a step.

One step.

That could hopefully help us become more like Jesus.

So in your name we pray.

Amen.