Pastor Bryan Grant | Intentional Love | October 19th, 2025

How are we all doing this morning?

Can you do something with me?

Can you stand?

Boy.

Pastor Brody, when he was talking about what Jesus did on the cross and all that he's accomplished, and all that he's done for you.

I felt really strongly this morning just this deep gratitude for who he is.

So I just want us to take a few minutes.

Just close your eyes.

Just I want you to speak out loud what you're grateful for that God did in your life.

What is love in your life has actually shifted?

So let's just take a few minutes.

Just take a minute, 15 seconds.

I don't have enough time to discuss how good he is, but just in your heart, just speak it out.

God, you're so good for what you did on that cross and just receive what he has for him.

Endless love.

Endless love.

Amen.

Endurance.

Endurance and never giving up.

Amen.

Endurance and never giving up.

Sobriety.

That's amazing.

If there's more, speak them out, church.

Deliverance.

Amen.

Amen.

Holy Spirit fire.

Amen.

I'm struggling keeping this under control this morning.

Thank you, Lord.

Thank you, Lord.

Thank you, Lord.

Thank you, Lord.

This is lift our voice to him.

Thank you, Jesus.

Thank you, Jesus.

You're so good.

You're so worthy.

So here is where I feel for us this morning.

We're gonna be speaking about God's love.

So I want you to position yourself right now to receive something from him this morning.

To receive his love.

I just was struck with the thought this morning that some of you have never experienced proper love.

That some of you have never experienced God's covenant love, that some of your experiences with people have not led you towards love.

So there's broken, there's hurt, there's frustrations, there's anger.

I'm just saying to you this morning that God wants to clean some things up, to bring restoration, to bring healing to you this morning.

And if you want to receive that, I just want you to say yes this morning.

God, we depend on you.

We start with you and we end with you.

So we give you praise this morning in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Are you ready for the Lord this morning for the word?

Thanks, Evangeline.

We've been in a series called On Purpose.

And this last weekend, uh from Friday night, I pretty much just slept here from Friday until this morning.

We had our marriage conference, which was unreal.

We had such an amazing time.

God did some incredible things in our couples.

We're gonna see some real fruit of what God did, but God has done.

But here's the thing is that the whole weekend really was just about God's love, about actually living out our purpose in marriage on purpose, with intentionality, with direction, with intention in all that we do, intention in how we serve, intention in how we love.

Healthy relationships aren't built by accident.

So Pastor Brody started this series off talking about having an intentional, on-purpose relationship with God.

Then the week after, we spoke about intentional gratitude, on-purpose gratitude.

What does that mean?

Then he gave us a challenge to be intentional with people, send someone a text message, be intentional with that love.

You know what happens?

I'm gonna have a phrase, some of you may know what it is, and some of you won't, and I'm gonna explain it to you because it's a really cool thing that Jesus did.

Healthy relationships don't happen by accident, they happen when love puts on a towel and serves with a purpose.

Some of you are looking at me blankly, that's cool.

We're gonna get into this.

I'm excited for this.

I want to talk about a love on purpose through love and who he is and not an obligation.

So everybody loves the idea of love.

Y'all probably have one of your friends in your group that's like, I love love.

I don't know why I sound a little French there.

I apologize if I offended any of the French.

My wife in particular.

But everyone loves the idea of love.

Time to do, and we all love it until we get to the place where maybe we have to do something that's inconvenient.

Like we have to serve, or we have to forgive, or maybe we have to pick up after someone.

We heard on the weekend that apparently a sock on the floor is a real problem for one of our couples.

I'm not gonna say who it was.

But the love part gets complicated when we're actually asked to do more.

We hold the door open for a stranger, we serve people we don't know, but we won't hold our tongue for a family member.

We put hashtag I love my neighbor on our Instagram, and then we ghost them.

So we see something in John 13 that I want to read.

John 13, 3 and 5, it's not on a slide.

This is one of those moments in this morning that I just added this.

Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands and that he had come from God and was going back to God, rose from supper.

This is where we get to the towel.

He laid aside his garments.

Taking a towel, he tied it around his waist, then he poured water into the basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

Sometimes love gets c complicated and even gets more complicated when it starts to cost us something.

This is exactly what we see in this scripture is that Jesus knew who he was.

You know what I love about this?

Is Jesus like, I'm, you know, God sent me.

I'm sent by God to do this thing.

He had all the power, he was the one that was doing miracles, he was a well-known teacher.

He walked the earth.

People were trying to touch his garment because he had so much power.

People be healed by Jesus.

He knew what he had who he was, he knew what his job was, he knew what he had to do on the cross, and still he goes to his knees and he serves the disciples.

So we see the world saying to us all the time, protect your peace.

But Jesus just picks up the towel and he goes and he serves.

Culture says, follow your heart.

Jesus says, deny yourself.

Culture says, love people who love you back.

Love people, love the people who only love you or who love you back.

Wow, that was a hard sentence.

Jesus says, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

Do we see the difference between the two?

One is all about comfort, the other is all about calling.

We, as Christ followers, are called to so much more.

Every one of us.

This comparison shows that there's something deeper in this scripture.

That love that follows the world is self-serving.

But a love that follows Jesus is self-emptying.

We empty of ourselves to serve those that are others, to serve others.

This is where Galatians 5.13 is going to point to us.

Freedom that finds us purpose in serving others.

Serving on purpose means that we do what love would do.

And here's the part that we don't always like, even when we don't feel like it.

I mean, I love my wife.

Why do you wait and pause and just like, does he really?

We know that.

I love my wife, but I don't always like her or want to serve her.

I'm just being honest.

And if you're honest in your relationship with a friend or your spouse, you would say the same thing.

I love this person, but right now I don't want to help them.

They made me mad.

They hurt my feelings.

Feelings.

I joke around that I only have one feeling left.

But there's something that happens.

Love or service without love is performance.

Love without service is just talk.

But when love actually moved, that's when God's kingdom can show up in a relationship.

Are we here?

This is what it says in Galatians 5.

You can turn to Galatians 5, 13 to 14.

Through love matters.

For you were called to freedom, brothers.

Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but to but through love serve one another.

For the whole law is fulfilled in one word, you shall love your neighbor as yourself.

On purpose love.

Paul says this straight.

To love with purpose.

God's grace isn't a permission slip for bad behavior.

This is sometimes how we use it.

It's the power to change when you need to change.

That's God's grace.

When freedom doesn't flow through love, it turns toxic.

Isn't that true?

When we have freedom in Jesus, but it doesn't, and we don't act out his love through it, it will turn toxic really quick.

When our ones through God's love, it becomes holy.

And what spiritual maturity begins to look like is we're using our freedom to serve, not to satisfy ourselves.

God's grace isn't a license to sin any way we want, it's his power to change.

And this is what Paul is saying.

Paul's concern was, and what we see all over culture right now, was that people would use that newfound freedom that they have in Jesus and go out and sin as they please, do as they want, say what they want, and actually trample on the rights of others to make money and do things that would hurt other people.

So he's saying to us, here's a warning don't use your freedom for something that's going to cause destruction to others.

But Romans 6, 1 and 2 says, What shall we say then?

Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound?

And then he says this by no means.

No, you're not supposed to just go out and keep sinning when you give your life to Jesus and you walk in his freedom.

How can we who died in sin still live in it?

And what I love about this is clearly we still have a choice.

We give our life to Jesus, there's that option, this danger.

It's open to us that we can take the freedom that God gave us and we can spin it and use it in a way that satisfies our flesh at the expense of others.

This is what Paul is telling us.

Paul is making it very plain.

When freedom's all about you, it turns selfish really fast.

But when freedom runs through love, it turns holy.

This is the mark of someone or something that is spiritually mature, using your freedom to serve others, not to satisfy yourself.

And I still love how God does this for us.

Send his son to die for our sins.

We received a free gift.

We received the free gift of salvation that many of us at one time in our life have received.

So powerful that knowing us, he knows that we can still use this gift for good or evil.

But he still offers it to us anyway.

Is that not powerful?

He says, I know what they might do.

And I'm still gonna give them the gift of salvation.

I'm still gonna offer them freedom.

I'm gonna still love them and show them the way.

It would be easy for us to, and it is, and I have been guilty of it, for to think freedom that gives us just the right to sin.

That all of a sudden we have an entitled privilege to do whatever we choose.

Instead, the liberty, the freedom is the spirit-given desire and ability to do what we should do before God.

We okay?

Let's go back to Galatians 5.13.

Just this part right here.

Do not yours use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love, serve one another.

And I love how he says this.

Paul doesn't say just serve, he says, through love, serve.

That's the game changer.

That's what it takes when it takes it from checking a box to carrying God's heart.

This isn't forced love, forced love and what we just have, we're trying to just make it happen.

It's a spirit-led love.

This is how you keep freedom from turning into selfishness.

Is that we receive God's love.

Our flesh always wants to make everything about us.

You know how you know when there's oftentimes a difference between what God wants and what the enemy wants?

Is one is going to tell you to serve yourself.

This will satisfy your flesh.

If you do this, this will fill that craving.

If you do this, this will be better for you.

And it just keeps pushing you further and further.

And you go down further and further down that road.

Our flesh always wants to make it about us.

It makes about my comfort, my opinion, my way.

Amen?

But we when we through love serve one another, we shut the flesh down.

You don't conquer selfishness by sitting around hoping that selfishness just stops.

Someone have let's be honest here.

How many of you have had someone tell you you're being selfish?

You keep those chuckles under control there, John.

But when we through love one another, we can conquer selfishness by getting up, stepping out, and serving and loving someone on purpose and doing what God has called us to do.

We see here that God isn't separating love and service.

He actually welded them together like they were one thing.

It's not service or love, it's both.

Through love means that we channel the service through God's love.

Paul just doesn't say serve, he says through love serve.

This is the big thing.

The word serve comes from, I love the the Greek sometimes has so much more potency than the English language.

From this word called dulio, to act like a bondservant.

Paul is saying you're free, you have been set free.

Now make yourself, use that freedom to make yourself a servant.

We okay, church?

So when Paul writes serving one another, he's not talking about casual volunteerism.

He's not talking about just doing favors when it's convenient for you.

He's talking about a willing surrender of self for the good of someone else.

That's God's love.

Over the weekend, we learned that covenant love is how we love each other.

How couples love each other is through God's love, through his covenant, what he created.

How do we love people in our life?

Through God's love.

If you knew my justice side, people would be wiped off the earth because of frustration or anger in the moment.

It's a good thing that I have God's love, especially when I'm driving my car.

Amen there's always an amen to that one.

Right?

If I didn't have God's love in my heart, I couldn't love people the way He's called me to love people.

I couldn't love my spouse the way I'm supposed to love my spouse, or my kids the way I'm supposed to love my kids, or my friends the way I'm supposed to love my friends.

Because He changes my heart, He makes it soft, He sets me free, and then I see them the way that God sees them, not the way that I see them.

Freedom isn't the right to do what we want, it's the power to do what love requires.

What do we see when we practice this?

When love is the motive, our service becomes worship.

When love is the motive, giving, like we did today, feels like gratitude.

When love is the motive, forgiveness frees both people.

When love is the motive, sacrifice that we make for church, for our families, for careers, whatever God has called us into, that sacrifice feels like a purpose.

When love is the motive, correction is not rejection.

Godly covenant love with an intentional, on-purpose love that God's called us to builds people up, it doesn't tear them down.

When love is the motive, humility looks strong.

When love is the motive, leadership serves.

When love is the motive, marriage will feel like a mission.

And what when love is the motive, we get to serve the way God's called us to.

But when service is driven by ego, you always know those people that's just they're doing it so they get their warm fuzzies and they get a pat on the back and say, Hey, good job.

But when service is driven by ego, pressure becomes exhausting.

But when you're serving out of God's love and his love that he has for you, you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

Amen?

You will do things, go do say things, go further, and do more than what God's called you to do when you're relying on him and not on your own strength.

I don't know how many times I've relied on my own strength to accomplish even things in this job as a pastor.

In my marriage, as a dad, as a friend, doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

I have relied on my own strength way too many times.

And push God out because my way is better.

Push God out because I really don't want him to speak to me because I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't want to do it.

Maybe you're in this place and you're serving someone and you're just feeling resentful or you're tired or you're just secretly hoping that someone sees all of these things.

But what happens is when service isn't done through love, we are running on no fuel.

You have nothing to offer, you have nothing to give.

Serving and loving without love is like driving your car on fumes.

You can do it for a while, but you're gonna get stuck.

You're gonna end up on a shoulder, sitting on the side, having to call someone that loves you, ironically, to come help you fill up.

But through love means I serve in the character of Christ, not out of guilt or out of control.

So here's what I want to start talking about is agape love.

Well, we see in scripture that there's four different types of love.

Paul Paul says our service, our service has to flow through love, but not every kind of love gets the job done.

There's some love that's reserved for certain people.

So there's four that I see in scripture that we I studied.

Storge, which is the family love.

It's the natural kind, it's the built around what happens behind between families.

It's the one that says you can pick on your sibling, but anyone else does, and you're gonna end them.

Right?

Philea love.

I'm pretty sure I say that wrong every time.

The the love you choose.

This is the real ride or die type of love.

Shoulder to shoulder, standing together.

Real friendship that pushes you closer to Jesus.

Here's a word for some people in the room.

If you have friends that aren't pointing you to Jesus and are trying to drag you down, you need different friends.

I think Pastor Brody said this before.

I love what he is.

He's like, I can look at the five people around you and tell you where you're gonna go.

It's true.

Eros love, it's romantic.

That's the one that's met between just husband and wife.

That's not for anyone else.

You choose this, it's desire, it's attraction, it's connection, it's a spark that God designed for marriage.

And then we see the divine love of the agape love.

This is what it is.

This is the God kind of love.

This is the kind of love that keeps serving when it's not seen.

That love that kneels when it could command, just like Jesus did.

Some of you have been shown love wrong.

Some of you don't know how to receive love from people.

Some of you are hurt and struggling in frustration.

Just like I said at the beginning, I believe this is a really important thing for us.

This is not contrary just to those who know Jesus.

This is everyone.

I've been a Christian for a long time.

I did not know God's love.

I had to experience his love for myself.

He surrounded me with people that showed me the storgay love.

That showed me the friendship love.

But I had to want that and I had to be able to receive it.

The agape love is the heartbeat of the towel that we saw Jesus wrap around himself in John 13.

So I want to go a little bit deeper into this.

This love is the ultimate on-purpose love.

It's not the Hallmark love.

It's not the mushy, silly movies, the Christmas movies are gonna be coming out soon from Hallmark.

I'm so unhappy.

They're the worst.

Do you like them?

Oh man.

Natalie Kalman's like, these are yeah, I can't believe like they're it's essentially they have they have two scripts and they reverse the man and the woman uh to do the thing.

There's a big New Yorker that comes to a small town that has a taco stand, they fall in love and they have this taco stand franchise, and it's just like that's every Hallmark movie.

I've told you the story, you don't need to watch it.

Just save yourself.

It's alright, back on track, guys.

But the agape kind of love is not for the weak of heart.

It's love that requires from us.

Agape is the God kind, the kind that chooses, the kind that serves, the kind that sacrifices, even when it's not reciprocated.

Even when you're not receiving it, you still choose this.

First Corinthians, we see gives us the blueprint.

Love is patient, love is kind, love is not self-serving.

You know the scripture.

In Romans 5.8, it says this, and this is where we get to the the good stuff.

It's all been good stuff, but this is even better good stuff.

Romans 5.5, and hope does not put us to shame.

Because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

His love has been poured into us.

You commit your life to Jesus, you have new love.

And this means that agape isn't something that you can manufacture.

Love for other people is not something that you can just muster up with strong willpower.

I'm gonna white knuckle my love.

That's not how this works.

It is something, church, that we receive from God, then we release.

We want to see Kelowna changed, we receive God's love, we release it.

You want to see your family change, you receive God's love, you release it.

You want to see those in your family that don't know Jesus, stop hammering them with the Bible that they don't believe in, start loving on purpose and release that into them.

This is how we as Christians, as Christ followers, will make a difference is when we actually receive God's love, his agape love, his covenant love, and we release it.

We don't hold on to it and we just sit there like this.

Is my purpose.

We don't do that.

We don't hang on to it.

We love people with intentionality on purpose.

So here's what agape love really is agape is willful, it chooses love even when the feelings fade.

Love that waits on a mood is not love.

Whatever the world has told you about true love is probably wrong.

Because God's love is the blueprint for how we're supposed to love people.

I love my wife, even when I don't like her, and I have to serve her, and there's no feelings of any kind of affection, I still will serve her.

This is the way we do it.

Agape is sacrificial, it costs something.

Time, pride, convenience.

Jesus, or John 13 shows that Jesus was kneeling on the dirt floor to wash disciples' dirty feet.

They didn't have concrete, they wore sandals, if it rained, it got nasty, there was manure, and he chose to get down and serve them.

Washing their feet.

And he still did it.

Jesus is awesome.

Like, if I knew someone was gonna be gonna betray me, good chance I'm not gonna go and try and have coffee with them.

So agape is willful, agape is sacrificial, agape is consistent, it's steady.

Jesus didn't serve once just for show.

It was his rhythm, it was all a part of his life.

We see in Philippians 2, he made himself nothing, taking on the form of a servant.

That's what we call the self-emptying love of Christ.

Explains that Christ willingly laid aside privileges that he had to serve.

The best leaders I've ever served under are the ones that serve the church, that serve me in my job, that serve what I'm doing.

The best leaders are the ones that know how to serve.

The best husbands and wives are the ones that know how to serve, the best kids.

Hopefully, there's not a kid in here feeling bad about yourself.

But you want to know how to grow and move forward as you serve.

And I'm not, this is not like a call out to church because we're missing people in departments.

I'm talking about changing a perspective in your heart about how we love people.

How do we shift this to make a see a nation change?

I said this weekend is that we believe that strong marriages build strong families, that build strong communities, that build strong cities, that build strong provinces, that build a strong country.

We believe that God's covenant love and his revival is what's going to change our nation.

But we as Christians have to receive what he has and then release it.

So agape is consistent.

The last one is agape is rooted in who God is.

Galatians 5, 22, but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, free, faithfulness.

It's not something that you can just grind out on willpower.

I love white knuckling things.

Sometimes the harder it is, the more I like it.

Only on some things.

I don't go to the gym often enough, so it's not one of those things.

You can't fake on-purpose love with human effort.

Agape isn't something that you push up from within, it's something God pours into you so it can flow out of you.

I'm gonna I want to make this clear so it's not like I'm trying, I don't want you to think that this is some massive thing.

I'm talking of like the next Billy, I want you to Billy Graham, I'm let my my mind is going here.

I want you to believe that this is what's gonna change around you.

Is when you receive what God has for you and you release it.

Because you can reach people for the gospel that I can't reach.

You can reach people in your sphere of influence that I can't reach, or Pastor Brody can reach, or Pastor Malachi, you can do things in that area that we can't do.

So I don't want you to think that this is some massive thing and it's for someone else.

No, no, no, this is for you and your circle.

Where are you gonna be able to make a difference?

Where are you gonna be able to serve and show love in a way that's that's different?

If your love isn't flowing from this type of agape covenant love with God, it will run dry.

And you'll burn out.

Can I have the worship team come up, please?

And this is what happens.

Why this is so different for what the world says is that this is counter-cultural.

Agape flips the world's scorecard on all this.

The world shouts, Jesus whispers to us, grab the towel.

Well, the disciples in John argued about who was the greatest.

This is why this all happened.

They were sitting around the table, dining room, arguing about who is the greatest of them all, which is a weird conversation.

I don't sit around with my buddies and be like, I bet you I'm better than you.

Jesus loves me more.

That's not what I do.

But they're sitting around talking about who they thought was the greatest, and then he just grabs the towel and the water basin and just goes and washes their feet.

Jesus.

The towel wins the title.

So why does this matter?

Because in God's kingdom, power isn't measured by how many serve you, it's how quickly you serve them.

Serving through love isn't natural.

Hear me.

It's not something we can do on our own, it's a supernatural thing.

Agape love is something given by God to us.

It craves the flesh always craves credit.

Look what I did.

Look how great I am.

Look what I served in.

Look what I built.

But the Holy Spirit produces character in us.

Paul moves straight into the fruit of the Spirit to show that love-led service is what true freedom actually looks like.

Jesus kneels down and says, Do as I do as I have done to you.

Like, what a model we have in Jesus.

We see it.

This culture says, You deserve.

You're entitled.

This is what you get.

Christ says you're called.

Culture says, guard your peace.

Christ is saying the exact exact opposite, give your life.

Because your peace will come from him.

Can you stand with me?

Is this all right, Church?

Jesus could have stayed seated and just let the guys argue about who was the greatest.

He could have reminded everyone who he was.

I'm the Son of God.

I'm the Alpha and the Omega.

I'm the beginning and the end.

I'm the name above every name.

He could have done that.

But instead, he grabbed that towel because love doesn't sit around waiting for applause, it acts.

He knew what he had to do.

So maybe the Lord's asking us, some of us, maybe not all of us, to grab that towel again and maybe serve that person.

Maybe he's asking you to serve differently.

Maybe he's asking you to ask for forgiveness for how you served.

I had to go to my wife many times in my marriage and say, God, I'm so sorry that I served you with not a cheerful heart.

That I that I was serving you with grumbling or with anger or frustration.

You know how it is.

They ask you to take the laundry, you grab the laundry basket with frustration, you walk down the loudest you possibly can, stomp on your feet and you like put it down.

You're not serving because you love your wife in that moment, you're serving because it's an obligation.

What's God asking you in this moment to grab that towel?

Maybe saying just don't tell them that you love them, show them that you love them.

Church, love, I can say all kinds of words that I want, but if I don't express that in action, those words mean nothing.

And when you feel God's love in your life, start moving forward, you move with what he's saying.

Can you just close your eyes for a second?

If you're here today and you've never committed your life to Christ, and you're like, I want this love, I want to experience this love that Pastor Brody said about Jesus on the cross.

And you just are just feeling it in your heart, like, I need this in my life, and I want to give my life to Jesus today.

I want you to raise your hand so I can see it.

That's you, just raise your hand.

So I can see it, see it.

I want the whole church with these people that are giving their life to Jesus to say this with me.

Jesus, thank you for loving me first.

I've been chasing comfort instead of your calling.

Forgive me, wash me clean.

I believe you died and rose again.

Fill me with your spirit and teach me to love like you.

To serve through love, not out of guilt.

Today I give you my life and I help me live my purpose and love on purpose.

In your name, Jesus, amen.

Amen.

So if you were that one that gave just just if you gave your life to Jesus today, you'll see on the screen there's a way that you can text us, let us know.

We'd love to help you get set, get started on your journey with Jesus, or just come find me after the service.

I'd love the opportunity to talk to you.

There's one other thing that I'm wanting to pursue here.

So I believe that there's people in the room.

Can I have the prayer team come forward?

There's people in the room that are feeling disconnected from God and have not experienced his love.

And I'm gonna have the prayer team come up front and we're just gonna hang out here.

Some of the marriage team can join us as well.

But if that's you and you're feeling like you just want to experience God's love today, maybe for the first time, maybe you just are just so disconnected you're not sure.

I want you to make your way forward after the service and just have an opportunity to communicate, to pray with, to get loved on, and show you what God wants to do.

But if you're just feeling that disconnection between you and God and you want to experience his agape, his covenant love, this would be that opportunity.

So I'm just gonna let Pastor Brody close the service.

But if that's you, please come on forward.