Spiritual Parents

It is great to be with you this morning.

And prior to last Sunday, uh, our picnic last week, it had been about 12 weeks, I believe, since we had been able to meet together as a church.

And so last Sunday was good for my soul.

It was so good to be physically together.

And I can't wait for a couple of weeks when we can be physically together again.

And if you missed last week, um uh I want to say we miss you.

We missed you.

Uh for whatever reason, maybe you don't feel comfortable getting out yet, or maybe you had a scheduling conflict, we miss you.

I just miss being with my church family.

I have I'm a people person, and so I I realized I needed that that people interaction.

And and if you weren't here, you also missed uh the opportunity to see our children's ministry leadership get slimed.

Um our children's had had had uh uh exceeded um uh a challenge for memorizing a number of scriptures, and because of that, they were rewarded with seeing their children's ministry leaders, Katie and Chelsea, get slimed.

That was among the fun things that we got to see uh this past week.

I I've missed being with my my church during this time, but let me tell you something that that that I'm thankful for during this time of the pandemic.

Something that that could easily be taken for granted.

And my wife and I have talked about this a good bit over the last um uh for about 11 weeks.

Um my family, all three of my kids, I have a 22-year-old, I have a 19-year-old, I have a 15-year-old, uh, we had dinner together almost every night together.

Listen, and that it hadn't been that way for years.

And my wife and I talked about the fact that that this is probably something that we won't be able to do again because they will move on.

They will have jobs, they will get married, they will have their own families, and so we have treasured this time to sit around the table each night over those consecutive weeks and to be able to spend time together.

And one of the things that we were able to do is to talk about what God was doing.

Even in the midst of a pandemic, the fact that God is good and that God had a purpose, that God is working.

It doesn't matter whether we feel like he was at work or whether we thought he was at work, he was at work.

And even recently with some of the racial issues we we before my daughter went to serve at a camp, we had uh heard about um the tragic death of this young man, Ahmad Arbery, in South Georgia.

And we were able to talk about uh the racial issues, and and now it seems like we've been living in a pressure cooker, and it's even it's even intensified uh uh that much more over the last couple of weeks.

But we were able to, as a family, talk about those things.

And one of the goals that we have had as parents over the whole life of our family is to help our children look at the events in this world through the biblical lens.

Look at everything through the biblical lens.

And and see, see, whether they were young, as a matter of fact, there's a there's a couple of pictures I wanted to show you.

One of them is with all our children, uh, very young, and and you can tell that Jill and I are much younger as well.

And then this more recent picture was right before we sent our daughter off to serve at a camp.

And I'm telling you, those days go by like the snap of a finger and they are gone.

And in between those two pictures was the time that we could invest in the lives of our kids and have discussions and conversations about anything and everything happening in this world and help them see those events through the lens of a biblical worldview.

That's so important.

And here's why that's important it's because the family is the basic unit in the body of Christ.

And as we enter into this brand new series, it's called Family Life, we want you to understand that that listen, we're gonna be talking about family over the next four weeks.

And I know your first response is, hey, if I I don't have a family, I'm I'm single, or I'm divorced, or maybe maybe you're in middle school or high school, or you're a college student and you think that this isn't gonna apply to me.

But let me tell you, all of everything that we're gonna talk about over the next four weeks is going to apply to every single person.

You know why?

Because we say this all the time at Church at the Grove.

We're not like a family.

We are a family.

A church family is a collection of families, and so we are all family, we're all part of God's family.

We're all part of God's family.

Whether you're single, whether you're divorced, whether whatever you've got the perfect, what you think nuclear family is, we're all part of God's family.

One of the things that we are going to emphasize over these next four weeks is this is that anything and everything that happens in the life of the church family or in the life of the individual family, it exists for two things, two things specifically.

To glorify God or to be for the good of people.

Everything we do in life comes back to these two overarching realities that we are to bring glory to God and we are to work for the good of people.

That's what everything in life really boils down to is that we are to lift up and magnify the name of Jesus, to make his name known, to make his name famous, and then we are to seek the good of other people.

That's why the church's family exists, and that's why your family exists.

It doesn't matter whether you're in a family or you're single, whatever.

Let me give you a little example of how this applies to all of us.

Caitlin Boyd is Pastor Nathan's wife, and Caitlin grew up in a great church just down the street called Corinth Christian Church, and she grew up in a Christian family, but but she will tell you that when she got into high school, she took a class called the Christian Learning Center at Loganville High School, and there was a lady by the name of Sharon Shackelford that began to invest in her life.

And Sharon became a spiritual parent in the life of Caitlin.

And then Caitlin went to college and came back, and she became the Loganville CLC teacher, and she began to invest in the life of a young lady by the name of Megan Sorrow, who is a single lady.

As a matter of fact, she was here.

You saw her on camera to do the welcome this morning.

And Megan is now the CLC teacher at Loganville High School, and she has become a spiritual parent to my daughter.

And I could go on and on and on about how people in our church, and I could I could tell you about the Craig and Tanya Calhouns and the Jeff and Patty Bakers that have invested in my children and become spiritual parents in their life, and Josiah and Abigail, and then and people like Kim and Kevin Gibson that have invested in my children.

Encouraged them.

Family discipleship is God's design.

His plan for raising up disciples is to understand that it happens in the context of family.

It happens in the church family, it happens in the nuclear family, and everywhere in between.

Family discipleship is God's design.

And listen, we want to see change in this world.

We want to see world events impacted by the love and by the grace and by the mercy of God.

Let me tell you, it starts with the family.

And you've heard this.

As so goes the family, so goes the church.

So goes the church, so goes the community, so goes the community, so goes the state, so goes the state, so goes the nation, and so goes the nation, so goes the world.

And it's this rippling impact.

And God has called us the household of faith.

The apostle Paul says in Galatians 6 10, he says, so then, as we have opportunity, he says this, we have opportunity.

Let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.

He's talking about the family of God.

He goes on in Ephesians to say in chapter 2, verse 19, he says, so then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God.

He's saying it starts with the family.

Everything begins with the family.

And so we're gonna we're gonna dive in and we're gonna look at this triangle that many of you have seen before that's become part of the culture of Church at the Grove.

And it's called the Family on Mission Triangle.

And we're gonna walk around this triangle over the next four weeks.

The top of the triangle talks about being spiritual parents.

The bottom right corner talks about predictable patterns.

We'll get into that next week in more detail.

The bottom left part of the triangle, it talks about missional purpose.

We'll get into that over the next few weeks.

But but we're gonna talk about how the church is a collection of families that become one family, and it's the family of God, and it's a family on mission.

And here's the reality.

Before you think you don't qualify, let me tell you this: that the church is filled with broken people.

The church is filled with broken, recovering people.

There is no such thing as a perfect parent.

There is no such thing as a perfect family.

And so just to put you at ease, all of us are imperfect.

We are broken, recovering people.

Every one of us, my wife and I are fully aware of our shortcomings.

Our children will tell you every detail of all of our shortcomings.

We fall so short from being perfect parents and having a perfect family.

As a matter of fact, here's a question I would ask is how many of you parents can think back, maybe, maybe not too far in the past where you've lost it?

You've lost it, and maybe you've said something to one of your kids, or you you you've you've looked at them in the wrong way, you've been too harsh with them, and you think I blew it.

How many of you kids that are sitting right there next to your parents at home right now?

I asked you the question hey, do you remember the time, your mom and dad?

And you're like, absolutely.

It was five minutes ago for some of us, right?

I mean, how many of you have grabbed your kids and said on the way to church?

You're gonna see Jesus before you get there.

So we are we are messed up.

There's no such thing as a perfect parent, a perfect family.

And so this is a guilt-free zone this morning.

It's guilt-free over the next few weeks.

We all have to depend on the grace and the mercy of God.

Here's the beautiful thing: His mercies are new every morning.

Today is a new day.

And if you feel like, man, I've blown it with my family, I have blown it with my kids, I have blown it in my marriage.

Let me tell you, you start fresh today.

And we're gonna dive in and read.

If you've got your Bibles, you want to look at the app or follow along in the scripture, we're looking at at Deuteronomy.

It's the Old Testament, it's toward the beginning of the of the whole Bible, so it'll be easy for you to find.

It's Deuteronomy chapter 6, and we're looking at uh just a few verses, verses 4 through 9.

Deuteronomy 6 · chapter mention

Let me tell you about this verse.

It's it's called the Shema, uh, it was which which means it was a foundational scripture for God's people.

It was a scripture, a little section of scripture that they would use to teach their kids the foundational truths of God.

They would use this passage and teach them how to read Hebrew, they would use this passage uh to open up worship services and to close worship services.

It was a benediction, it was something that was repeated, it was it became somewhat ritual, but it was meant to be a living section of scripture that the whole nation of Israel was founded on.

And it is a beautiful picture for us understanding the significance of how spiritual family is God's design for discipleship.

Let's just read through it.

Verse 4, Deuteronomy chapter 6, verses 4 through 9.

Deuteronomy 6:4–9

Here's what he says Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might.

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as a frontlets between your eyes.

You shall write them on the doorpost of your house and on your gates.

Now we're we're gonna we're gonna walk through this passage of scripture over the next few weeks, but today I want to look primarily at two verses.

I'm gonna read it, verses five and six.

It says, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might.

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.

Let me tell you something.

God is a God of mission.

Our mission at Church of the Grove is to reach people far from God and to lead them to become followers of Jesus.

That is the heart of God.

And so we are men and women and a collection of families that are that are spiritual leaders.

That's God's desire, that we would be spiritual leaders in our families, in our churches, and in our communities, and that we would love God with all that we have within us, that we would be godly spiritual parents.

And here, here's listen to this.

This comes out of being intentional with creating a culture in your home.

And so I had a conversation this week with our children's ministry leader, Katie Landris.

So would you just kind of join me in listening in to this conversation?

Alright, I'm here with Katie Landris, and so Katie's responsibility with our church is ministry to children.

But here's what I want people to understand, Katie, is that it's not your responsibility to make sure that all the children are discipled.

As we're talking about in this series, family discipleship, our role is to make sure that parents and that we as a church are partnering with parents in discipling their children.

And one of the things I've said in this message as we opened up a few minutes ago is that we're not excluding single people, we're not excluding single parents.

We're saying everybody together is responsible for investing in the context of the life of a child and their discipleship.

Why is it such a big deal that we make sure that parents take responsibility for discipling their kids?

Right.

So let me give you something a little tangible that helps me kind of process what you're asking.

Before this pandemic, before everything shut down, um the parent's role typically had about 3,000 hours a year.

That's a lot of hours that you have total responsibility of your kids.

The church only has about 40 hours per year to invest in the child.

Now we're all home.

Okay, so the parent has more than 3,000 hours.

They have the school role, the social role, everything.

And now the church role.

So, you know, we've taken everything out of the equation, and the parents have every hour of their child's day that they're responsible for.

So who's the biggest influencer?

It's the parents.

It's the parents.

Right.

And it's the, it's the not only just the parents, but it's the circle that you place yourself in around those parents.

Sure.

You know, it's the neighbors, it's the grandparents, it's the aunts and uncles, it's the friends, it's the people on the ball, the ball foot, you know, like it's everybody in that circle that has the greatest impact and influence on your kid.

Right.

And so we said that God is a God of mission.

Right.

And so we know that God's called us to reach people far from God and to lead them to become followers of Jesus, but we know that starts really in the home.

And so what what are some practical ideas?

I mean, for parents to just take uh responsibility and begin to tangibly invest in the life of their kids.

What are some of some of the ideas and and and and how important is that?

Right.

So I think the biggest thing to understand is that children are imitators.

Okay?

If you have a baby, you know, how many times do you play peekaboo or stick out your tongue and they're sticking their tongue back at you, they're gonna imitate what you do.

Right.

So if you are uh showing them, hey, I I'm gonna pray, or let's talk about Jesus, or I'm gonna be kind when I speak to my spouse, or I'm gonna serve my neighbor, they're gonna imitate what you do no matter what age they are, and that's a behavior that they learn.

Sure.

So if you're seeking God with everything, that's gonna overflow and your kids are gonna imitate that.

Sure.

Well, well, and one of the things that um that really the highlight of today is we we want parents not to just be parents, but we want them to be spiritual parents, which means that their main responsibility, their primary responsibility above anything else that they have is to love Jesus and to model loving Jesus in the home.

And so, for an example, like last night, my family, we we watched a movie together, and we use that movie as an opportunity to have some conversations about about biblical worldview and about how God would see the circumstances there.

And so taking advantage of every day is important, right?

Right.

You've got a little bit of illustrative.

Okay, so I have a six-year-old, and when she was born, one of my very best friends gave me um these rocks.

Now, there's about 936 rocks in here, and every week I'm supposed to replace, take out a rock.

And so this changes your mindset drastically.

And what I mean by that is I can forward that in here.

And they they say when your jar is about halfway full, your child is nine years old.

So this represents how much time you have left before your kid exits your home.

Okay, so at age nine, they only have half the time left with you.

So for me, it shows that my time that was with my children is fleeting and it's quick, and I've got to play for keeps and and go in battle for my kids.

And it it's okay if you haven't done it, but you can start at any moment and do it now.

And I think that's the big takeaway too.

Absolutely.

It's a it every day's a new day.

Right.

And so um I hope that parents will take that away from this first week of this series is not to feel condemned or not to feel um guilty at all, but to just begin to.

To take advantage of every day forward that God's given them.

We know that God's called us to reach this world for Jesus.

And man, the world needs Jesus more than now than ever.

And so, but it starts in the homes.

And it starts with parents that are in love with Jesus.

And so I want to encourage you, parents, to take, maybe take something tangible like this and put it somewhere in your home to remind you that every day counts.

And that God's called us to be spiritual parents in love with Jesus.

And our kids are going to be in love with whatever we're in love with.

See, if I was telling you to take notes of something right now, I'd tell you to write down spiritual parents.

Spiritual parents.

See, I grew up in a home where and I sometimes I'm too hard on my dad.

But the idea that my dad had for being a parent was just to simply put a roof over my head, make sure that I had food on the table, and just to keep us safe and secure.

And he didn't know the Lord.

He didn't know any better.

But I'm telling you, hopefully by the end of this message, by the end of this series, you will be held accountable.

You will understand.

And when I say that, I mean that out of love, that we're called not just to be parents.

We're not called just to provide food and to uh have an income and just to meet the needs of our kids and make sure they play sports and make sure they have activities.

We're called to be spiritual parents.

And this passage that we're in, it's it calls us to know God and to love God with all of our heart.

He begins the Shema with this statement the Lord our God is one.

And good theology is a great place to start.

It's important to have good theology.

It's important to understand that there is a creator.

There is only one God that we should love and that we should follow, and that He He created everything that we have on this earth, and He sent His Son Jesus to come and live up close and to show us His heartbeat and that Jesus lived and that Jesus died on the cross to save us from our sins.

And he left and rose out of that tomb and to show that he had power over sin and death and the grave and all of those things that are part of theology.

All those things are important, but it's more than just good theology.

It's a passion for Jesus Himself.

As a matter of fact, the most important part of our spiritual parenting is a love for God that permeates every area of our life.

Everything.

The most important part of spiritual parenting is a love for God that permeates every area of your life.

And that's what he says when he says you love God with your heart and your soul and with all your might.

And here's why that's important.

Because listen, it's not an understanding of what is right and wrong that motivates us.

It's not.

It's what we love that motivates us.

It's the primary motivator.

Love is the motivator.

You do not do what you do by what you understand to be right or wrong.

You do what you do according to what you love.

Listen, when I go, when I go to the seafood restaurant, I know the right decision is the grilled platter.

But I know what I love is the fried platter.

You hear me?

You hear what I'm saying?

When I go by the mall, I know I need to pick a place that has a salad.

But if there's a cheesecake factory there, I'm loving the cheesecake.

You see what I'm saying here?

It's about what you love.

Your kids will pick up on what you love, not just what you say is right and wrong.

And love motivates your actions, not just your understanding of what is right or wrong.

And so this Jema, this statement about God in the Old Testament, it starts with love and spiritual parenting begins simply with this: with love for God.

With love for Jesus.

For they were fishermen.

And he said to them, Listen to this, he said, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.

And immediately they left their nets and followed him.

So this rabbi comes to these, to these young, uneducated men who probably have been told that they weren't smart enough to be a part of the religious system.

And he gives them the invitation to follow.

He says, follow me.

That's the first step of discipleship is to simply start following Jesus.

And here's what it says: He says, I will make you.

And before we even finish the sentence, Jesus wants to do the work of helping us to become spiritual parents.

It's not something we can do in and of ourselves.

It's not something we even have the power within us to do.

He says, I will make you.

I will make you.

I will build you.

I will build your life.

I will turn you into something.

He says, I will make you fishers of men.

And then it says immediately they left their nest and they followed him.

And so modeling what it means to follow Jesus means that sometimes we've got to drop and leave something.

When I perform a wedding, I talk about the scripture that says that a husband and a wife, as they are joined together, they are to leave all others and to cling to one another.

That means they leave and they forsake.

There's no more dating, there's no more pursuing.

They leave something to be committed to one another.

And so following Jesus, learning to be spiritual parents, means that we model to our children what it means to leave something that was important to us and turn and follow Jesus.

And when they see that, that speaks volumes.

That is life-changing, that is world-changing.

Jesus goes on in Matthew 22, and this is kind of the New Testament version of the Shemai.

We also call it the great commandment.

And it says in verse 34, Matthew 22, but when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together, and one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him, Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law.

And he said to them, You shall love the Lord your God.

Listen to this.

With all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.

This is the great and first commandment.

And then listen to what he says.

And a second is like it.

You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets to love God, love our heart, and love our neighbor as ourselves.

Who's our neighbor?

And he goes on.

I can tell you the story of the Good Samaritan, but who's our neighbor?

It's whoever is around us.

It's people all over the planet.

It's people that look like us and people that don't look like us.

It's people that have the same color of skin as us, but it's also people who have different color skin.

Every person that we cross paths with, that we lock eyes with, they are created the image of God.

Listen, there's not even multiple races.

There is only one human race.

And we are all created in the image of God, and we are all called to love God with all of our heart.

And as a result of loving God with all of our heart, we will learn to love our neighbor as ourselves.

Now that will challenge our children.

That is spiritual parenting.

That is what will change a generation.

That is what will change this world.

We live in a world that is broken and that is messed up and that that is full of a pressure cooker right now.

That's how it feels.

There's rioting and there's there's there's violence.

And so what is the answer?

We say, hey, hey, there's a political solution, or there's an economic solution, or there's some type of protest solution.

No.

It's a heart solution.

It's when God gets a hold of an individual heart and he draws us by the power of the Holy Spirit into a personal relationship.

And if you're listening to me right now and you don't understand that, you don't know that, but but something's happening in your heart, let me encourage you right now just to simply admit that you need God.

We say it's as simple as ABC here at Church at the Grove.

To follow Jesus, admit that you need a Savior, admit that you need rescuing.

Then believe.

Believe in your heart, confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, that God raised him from the dead.

You confess him as being the Lord of your life.

You leave everything, you leave, and you start to follow Him.

And He begins to change your heart.

And this last little image that I want to show you that we'll come back to over the next few weeks is a beautiful illustration of how the world can ultimately change.

It's when it starts right here inside of our heart.

It leads to a home with spiritual parents where generations are taught the principles of Scripture and address some of these issues in our world.

And then finally, it leads to the world being changed.

So would you pray with me right now as we conclude this time?

We're gonna close with a song of reflection titled Build My Life.

And I love some of these lyrics, some of these lyrics, just this little section.

It says, Holy, there is no one like you.

There is none besides you.

Open up my eyes in wonder and show me who you are and fill me with your heart and lead me in your love to those around me.

Can we make this song a prayer?

To begin this series that would lead to a church family literally being changed by the power and the spirit of God, families impacted, and then a community and a state and a nation and ultimately a world changed by the love and the grace and the mercy of God.

Father, would you change us?

Would you build lives that are centered passionately on the love of Jesus Christ?

Would you help us to become spiritual parents that lead the next generation to be world changers in such a way that we won't have to repeat some of the things that we've seen happen recently in our world.

Father, I beg of you, I plead with you to work.

And it's in Jesus' name I pray.

Amen.