Predictable Patterns

As I have prepared this series that we began last week called Family Life, it's been a bit bittersweet for me.

And here's why.

When my wife and I see other parents that have younger children, very often we'll see them playing and they're cooing and they're laughing and they're giggling and just enjoying the simplicity of just having a baby or a toddler.

And my wife will often say, Hey, you better soak it in because these are the best days of your life.

And so it's bittersweet because as I have been preparing the messages the last couple of weeks, as I'm thinking about next week, I realize, oh my goodness, I my youngest just got his learner's license.

So practically my job is almost done.

And so we've got a 22-year-old, an 18-year-old, and now a 15-year-old.

And so I remember those times when they were little, and it was as simple as taking and picking them up and flying them around the room and yelling Superman or holding them against the wall and pretending to be Spider-Man.

And they would laugh and they would just give the biggest belly giggles.

And then when they finished laughing, they would say this.

What would they say?

You know what they would say?

Do it again.

Do it again.

Do it again.

And so what do we do as parents?

We we do it again.

And then we finish and then they say, do it again.

And so we do it again and we do it again and we do it over until we just can't do it again physically.

We're exhausted, right?

And it's in that lesson that I believe gives us maybe a little insight into what we're gonna talk about today.

And I want to lead in with this quote from a Christian philosopher named G.K.

Chesterton.

And listen, this is rich, so I'm gonna read it slow, and it's gonna be on the screen for you to read with me.

But here's what he says He says, he says, um, because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged.

They always say, do it again.

And the grown-up person does it again till he is nearly dead.

For grown-up people are not strong enough to exalt in monotony.

But perhaps God is strong enough to exalt in monotony.

Is it possible that God says every morning, do it again to the sun, and every evening, do it again to the moon?

It may not be automatic necessity that makes all the daisies alike.

It may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them.

Listen to this.

It may be that he has the eternal appetite of infancy.

For we have sinned and grown old, and our father is younger than we.

And so, in that long quote, I hope what you understand is that in a sense, when we grow older, we lose the excitement and the simplicity of a child that simply wants to repeat things over and over and over.

And it's in the monotony that they find excitement.

And maybe, maybe this gives us insight because we are creating the image of God ourselves.

And so when we see the character of God in creation and the repetitive, predictable patterns that he has created, maybe we get a glimpse into what he wants for us and in our lives.

And therein lies the principle today that we're talking about predictable patterns.

Create an environment for family discipleship.

And so we're in week two, we're in this series of family life.

And last week we we introduced the series with this principle that we are to be spiritual parents.

And there's a triangle that you're gonna see on your screen, and we call it the family on mission triangle.

And at the top of the triangle, it says that we are to start with being spiritual parents, and we are to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength.

And in the bottom right part of that triangle, it says predictable patterns, and then next week we're gonna get to the left bottom part of that triangle where it talks about missional purpose.

But today we're gonna camp out on this principle of predictable patterns and this idea that we are to be spiritual parents, but we are also to cultivate environments of predictable patterns where family discipleship can thrive and where we can grow.

And so this last week we said this that family discipleship is God's design.

And it is to be initiated by spiritual parents.

You say, Well, I'm not a parent.

And as I said last week, this series is for everybody.

This series is for the single person, it's for the middle schooler, it's for the child, it's for the high schooler, it's for the college student, it's for it's for the single parent, it's for uh the single person that hadn't got married yet, it's for everybody because the church is a family.

And within the church are are is we see a collection of families, and we're all called to be a part of spiritual parenting.

Tyler Cloud is a single young man, and he is a spiritual parent to our teenagers.

And so Dylan Wages and Austin Sorrels both have invested and become spiritual parents to my kids as single young men yet to be married.

And so this series is for all of us.

You say, so we're all called to be spiritual parents.

As a matter of fact, I'll get to a verse next week where the apostle Paul says, hey, we we we we have enough teachers, we have enough tutors, we need more fathers, we need more spiritual parents.

And so he said, God's design for the family is discipleship initiated by spiritual parents.

And today, here's the big idea.

Family discipleship is cultivated in predictable patterns, it's cultivated in the simplicity of predictable patterns.

And but before before you start thinking about, oh man, he's gonna give us something else to do, or we're gonna add some program to the church.

No.

Here's what we're talking about with predictable patterns is we're saying that our life already consists of rhythm that are natural, they're they're normal routines and rhythms that exist in our individual lives and in the lives of our family.

And God simply wants us to take those already established rhythms and insert predictable patterns with the intention, listen to this, of talking, thinking, teaching, and living out the gospel of Jesus Christ.

So we're not talking about adding a program, and we're not talking about adding another church activity.

We're talking about you taking your normal, everyday family rhythms that are already established, and you insert predictable patterns.

And we see it outlined in this passage that we started last week.

That's this rich passage called the Shema that comes out of the book of Deuteronomy in chapter uh six, verses four through nine.

It's just a few verses, and we're we're spending a whole series in this in this just small section of scripture where Moses says this.

Here's what he says: he says, Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength.

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.

Those two verses is really what we emphasized last week with being spiritual parents that love God with all of our heart.

And so today it's about verse 7.

Listen to this.

And press them on your children.

Talk about them when you sit at home, and when you walk along the road, and when you lie down, and when you get up.

Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads, write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.

We'll get to those verses eight, nine next week.

But today it's about verse seven.

It's about predictable patterns.

You see it?

Let me read that verse seven again.

Impress them on your children.

What's he saying?

Impress the commandments, the truth of God, the gospel.

What God tells us through his word, how he loves us, how he has revealed himself to us, how he has redeemed us to himself.

You impress these things on your children.

You talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road.

And the context of today is maybe when you drive from one place to the other.

And when you lie down and when you get up.

And it's these predictable patterns that we create in the natural rhythms that are already established in our life.

Listen, for the purpose of thinking, talking, teaching, and living out the gospel.

That's what Moses is saying.

He's saying, listen, you don't need to add anything to your life.

You take what you already do.

And you just your kids, when they get up, obviously, one of the first things in the morning we think about is breakfast.

Maybe sit around a breakfast table.

Or while you're getting them ready for school, while while you're you're thinking and talking through the day, or you're whatever it is, you start talking and you start developing rhythms and conversations that bring in a biblical worldview.

And they where they think and they talk, they understand and they live out the gospel.

And that's God's design for the family.

That's his design for making a change in this world.

That's his design for impacting the next generation.

There's three three components, there's three practical applications that I want to just kind of just kind of close with here.

And I want to give you some some really some tools for you to put these principles into practice, right?

Because we listen, and it's not, obviously, let's let's let's not take for granted the fact that you're gonna take them to church, you're you're gonna be involved in the local body of Jesus, you're gonna be involved in in community and groups and small groups, and you're gonna have your kids involved in children's kids' grove and children's ministry, and you're gonna have your students involved in student ministry, and and and and you're gonna be involved.

Listen, all that's understood.

But these three components are more about your everyday rhythms of life.

And the first one is this is simply be consistent, establish consistency.

Listen, here's a question.

I mean, how many times, how many of you parents have had to tell your child more than once to take their plate and either put it in the sink or put it in the dishwasher?

You probably would answer, I've had to tell them over and over and over.

How many times have you told your kids not to leave their shoes in the middle of the floor?

Probably you've told them over and over.

Now I know that some of you parents are looking at each other and you're saying, I'm having to tell my husband to do that, or I'm having to tell my wife, you know, to do something.

And so we even as adults have to be reminded, but what that's how we teach our children.

We have to repeat things over and over.

It's in every area of life that we have to be repetitive and have to have predictable patterns.

We see in education.

You don't just teach them how to do math one time.

No, they they do problems over and over.

They repeat it.

You learn by repeating things over and over.

If they're learning a sport, if there's a baseball player and he's learning how to play in the infield, what do you do?

You hit grounders over and over and over to him.

On the football field, you throw the ball over and over, you catch it over and over, you kick it.

If you're learning a dance, you rehearse the dance over and over.

If you're in a musical or you're playing uh in a band, you rehearse songs over and over and over, and you do it until you get it right.

That's it's it's just learning consistency.

And so you you take these principles of Scripture and you just you you build these predictable patterns and you do it over and over, and you consistently establish rhythms where you're talking about, you're teaching them, and you're getting them to think about how to live out the gospel of Jesus Christ.

The second one is to be creative.

See, it's simple.

When they're three years old, you you read a story, and it's simple, right?

You you can you can just be excited about something that they're gonna be excited about.

But as they get older, it gets more difficult.

When that when they get older, you as parents have to learn maybe your personality, the personality of each individual child.

You've got to learn their learning styles, you've got to learn how you talk to them and what their heart language is.

You've got to learn to take advantage of the best opportunities and the times where you can invest and you can have those conversations in the car when they wake up.

You learn when not to try to talk to them.

And you you you you get creative.

When they're little, it's just all about having fun, right?

When Josiah and Abigail and Caleb all were growing up, we would read, we would read the children's Bible story book to them.

And and each one of them, especially Josiah and Caleb, we would get to the story of David and Goliath.

And man, we would have to camp out and do that story over and over for weeks.

And it was that I'd say, hey, let's go to the next story.

No, Daddy, David and Goliath.

And so before you knew it, man, we're making swords and shields and helmets and and and we're acting it out, and every time I'm Goliath, I'm like, Josiah, can I be David today?

No, Daddy, you're Goliath.

You're gonna die.

I'm gonna cut your head off.

That's what the story says.

Over and over.

It was fun, it was easy.

The other day, I mean just this past week, my son Caleb was driving, and we had just had one of those huge thunderstorms.

And the sky had turned blue again.

And he's driving and he looks at he looks in the sky and he says, Daddy, I think we can learn a lot about God by looking at the sky.

He said, I love how in one minute it can be so dark, and the next minute it's blue.

And he said, the shapes of the clouds, he said, man, it's just it's so he said, and the stars.

I mean, he just starts talking.

And I'm just listening.

And this verse popped in my mind, Psalm 8.

And I and I and I couldn't necessarily quote it maybe word for word, but immediately I thought, when I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him.

And it was so cool to have a moment with my son, a teachable moment where he was thinking and he was talking, and he was understanding the principles laid out in the scriptures.

And so you've got to seize it, be creative, and then finally you've got to be willing maybe to seek counsel.

You've got to be willing to ask for help.

And listen, that's where the church is the family, and we we're in this together.

We we know that we can't do it by ourselves.

Let me share with you that there have been seasons where I have had to humble myself and pick up the phone and call other parents in this church and say, I need help.

I need prayer.

And as a result of that, there are many other families in this church that have invested in my family, that have loved my kids, that have nurtured my kids, that have maybe spoken into the lives of my children where maybe Jill and I felt like we couldn't and we didn't have a voice.

And so we had to have somebody else step in and help us.

It was simple when they were little.

When they get older, it's a little more complicated, and you need more family.

You need more spiritual parents.

And this is why we want to put tools in your hands.

We want to be able to come alongside and support you.

That's why children's ministry and kids' growth is so important to us.

That's why student ministry is so important to us.

And so I want you to turn your attention and I want you to listen to Katie Landris share some practical tools as she and Brandon talk through it.

And Brandon, who's invested in my children as a spiritual parent, they're gonna give you some practical tools to invest in the lives of your kids.

Hey, my name is Brandon, and I'm here with Katie this morning, and we are so excited just about uh what God's doing in the life of our church and this series that we're in right now, talking about family life.

And I have to tell you, it's been so timely for me as a young dad.

We got a little baby girl, and um, we've just found out that we've got another one on the way due in October.

So, having a little baby boy, and so this is so helpful for me and our family right now to be able to dig into some of this stuff and talk about what does it mean to be a spiritual parent.

Um, and then today, specifically honing in on predictable patterns and how we set those up to help with setting our kids up for success in terms of their spiritual life.

So, Katie, real quick, why don't you give us some practical, hands-on tools and tips for leading our family spiritually?

Yeah, Brandon, there's so many resources out there.

So don't get overwhelmed by the resources, just start somewhere.

Um I brought some books from my house that my kids are kind of currently doing right now.

Um, a lot of them are interactive with technology, so that's super fun.

Um, I have a three-year-old, he loves pictures.

I'm sure your little girl loves anything I can do to look at a picture and we can talk about the picture is a win for us.

I have a first grader and she is very systematic, and so having a devotion that she can check off that she's done something each day is huge for her.

Um, we give this to new parents.

Yes.

Um, you probably have this moment.

And this is just weaves Jesus all in throughout the entire story, which is we read this every night with a rather.

Yeah, it's so fun, right?

Yep.

Um, right now we're doing um this is like science experiments.

So if you've got a science kid, this is your book.

There's comic strips devotions.

Um, there's devotions for the age of your kid, if you have a boy, if you have a girl, if they like sports.

Um, there's so many resources out there.

Plus, I don't know if our parents know this, but um, every week we're uploading, did you know this?

Uh, devotions for kids in elementary.

So if parents say, I don't want to go buy anything, all you gotta do is print it out, and we've got um a devotion each week for kids.

That's amazing.

So, I mean, there's so much out there, and we're here just to help direct you, but you gotta find what works for your kid.

Every kid is different.

Every kid likes to move or not move.

Yeah.

Some just like to watch technology, some need to go outside and have more hands on.

So find out what works for your kid is the best advice I can give you.

Yeah, so what you're saying is let's not come up with something new, reinvent the wheel, let's use what our kids are already gravitating towards and leverage that for the sake of the gospel.

That's the best.

And leveraging technology.

There are so many apps out there right now.

Um, if you've got older kids, teenagers, um, how do you connect with them?

Through the phone.

Through the phone.

And so sending them text of Bible verses.

U version has tons of Bible studies that you can do, and it can automatically update your family and every you can see if your household is is reading and you can kind of control that a little bit.

Um, that's a huge resource.

Parent queue is something that our kids grow.

You can download that app and that actually connects directly to what our kids are learning each week.

That's amazing.

So, you know, they can watch the video on the phone as they're going down the road.

Um, and it also gives parents uh things to ask.

So that's a parent queue ad that's super beneficial as well.

That's super awesome.

So we can find all this at church of the grove.com.

Um click on the Kids Grove Resources tab and you can download all this stuff there.

Um Katie and the team are they're knocking it out, providing quality resources for us to be able to equip our families and to leverage these things for gospel conversation and to help our children grow spiritually.

Super awesome.

So, real quick before we sign off, I'm a young dad.

This is a lot of this is overwhelming.

I'm not sure what to do.

Um, what's my first step?

You said this quote right before we started rolling and it gut-punched me so so much.

I think um no matter where you are on your spiritual journey, um one step that we forget to include is to pray before we even get started and to ask the Lord's direction.

And I read a quote one time that said, if we're not praying for our kids, it's like putting them on a battlefield for them to get shot at at every direction.

And that's huge, you know?

And so um equipping our family and praying over them before we start anything, the Lord will help us, the Lord will show us what to say and what to do if we just ask Him.

Yeah.

So man, that is so, so good.

Well, Katie, thank you so much.

Yeah.

And uh hey, if there's anything that we can do to help resource you guys, let us know.

And don't forget, go to KidsGrove, uh, churchtheGrove.com, click on those Kids Grove resources, and uh yeah, hopefully we can help equip you to to lead your family as well.

Absolutely.

Chelsea, I'm thankful for our team that provide and invest, and and we support each other in in this as well.

Here's one of the common responses I get is is my wife and I have have have reached out and and led people to Christ and discipled people that didn't grow up in church.

Now understand, I did not grow up in church, so I did not know all the Bible stories when when I got married and we started having kids.

I didn't I didn't have the Bible foundation that my wife had.

And so we hear, I hear very commonly, I I don't really know what to say.

I don't know where to start.

And what if they ask a question, you know, that I can't answer?

And so I just tell I tell parents, listen, you grab you a children's Bible.

And so this is my favorite, the Jesus Storybook Bible that Katie held up just a second ago.

And so this is my favorite.

I had it, we had a different one before this one came out that we read with our children.

And here's what happened: I learned the Bible as a parent at a whole different level.

As I simply read through story after story after story with my kids.

I grew as a disciple.

And listen, you don't if they ask you questions, listen, you you do what I do.

You go to Google, right?

You can't answer it.

You you you Google it.

I'm kidding, I'm kind of, but this is partially true.

You you seek help.

Here's what I want you to understand.

We've got to do something to change the narrative in our culture.

Or the next generation is doomed to just continue repeating the cycles of sin, the cycles of injustice, the cycles of brokenness.

We've got to do something that will flip and turn this world upside down.

And it is laid out right here for us that we are to invest in the next generation.

Here's a quote that I that I'm gonna tell you where I got it.

I got it off a Facebook page from another pastor in this community.

And I'm giving him credit, Jeff Merritt.

But the quote is from a pastor named Bodie Baucom.

And here's what he says: he says, our children are not falling away because the church is doing a poor job.

Our children are falling away because we are asking the church to do what God designed the family to accomplish.

Now, now, let me read that again because I just came across this like today, and the notes were already, yesterday, and the notes were already programmed in.

So I'm gonna read this again.

Your children are not falling away because the church is doing a poor job.

Our children are falling away because we are asking the church to do what God designed the family to accomplish.

And I'm gonna tell you, there's an there's a lot of enemies out there.

There's an there's an enemy called Satan that wants your your family to be broken and wants to continue the cycle of sin and injustice and brokenness that we see happening right before our eyes in our society today.

And so the enemy wants to steal, kill, and destroy.

He wants to keep you from discipling your children.

Here's a few of the enemies and the challenges I think that we face as parents and families, right?

Misplaced priorities.

It's when your affections are not lined up with the affections that God designed us for, which is to be in love with Jesus.

And so we misplace our priorities and we put our time and our and our resources and our and our giftedness in things that really don't have any eternal significance, right?

The second uh enemy is weak marriages.

The enemy wants to ruin your marriage, he wants you to be broken so that the next generation will suffer the consequences.

And so I don't have time to get into marriage stuff right now, but I'm telling you, that that is one of the things that you need to recognize that if your marriage is struggling, it will affect your kids.

And so the third enemy is is what we what I call non-present presence.

And it's these devices that we're holding up in front of our face all the time while our kids are growing up, and we're with them, but we're not with them.

And finally, the lack of intentionality, the lack of just being intentional with the rhythms and patterns that God's already put in place in our life.

Listen, there is no expectation that we're gonna get this right.

As a matter of fact, the expectation is that we're we're gonna struggle, which is why we lean into Jesus.

It's why we lean into the gospel.

We are suffering the consequences of cycles and generations of sin and brokenness, and we can't fix it ourselves, and so we've got to go to a source outside of ourselves that is stronger than us.

Maybe the creator that designed everything in the first place and that will we we know and trust will restore it back to the way it was intended when everything comes to an end.

And so he put in the middle of history his son Jesus to come and to live and to die and to be raised back to life so we could be so we would have available the power and the presence of God Himself, not just at a temple or not in a building, but living inside our hearts.

And it's through us receiving this gift of life through the gospel that we can access the help and access the counsel to access the Almighty, the power of God living inside of us.

And I put up this this um this graphic last week.

It's got a heart, it's got a home, and it's got the world.

And it says, and I'm um give credit to to Shannon, uh I know she's watching, that gave me this graphic.

And it says, until you fix it here, the heart, and address it here, the home, nothing changes here in the world.

And so, listen, church, here's the challenge.

I'm challenging you, church.

We've got to change the narrative, we've got to change it, we've got to flip it, we've got to do something now to impact our next generation so we are not doomed to repeat the cycles of sin and brokenness and injustice that we are watching before our very eyes right now played out before us.

And so, so, so we want to bless the next generation.

We don't want to pass curses and brokenness and sin.

We want to extend blessing.

And so, God, we ask you to fill us, to empower us, to work in us, and in such a way that we're willing to adjust our lives, our patterns, our rhythms where we can help our kids think and talk and be taught to live out the gospel where life change really can happen before our very lives.

Here's we're about to close with a song that's called The Blessing.

And it and it comes from a passage in Numbers.

It's called the Aaron, Aaronic Blessing.

And it was given by Aaron by Moses to Aaron.

And so here's what he says.

He says, he speaks to Aaron and his sons, saying, Thus, you shall bless the people of Israel.

You shall say to them, the Lord bless you and keep you.

The Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you.

The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

Listen, let's get it right.

Let's be intentional.

And let's pass on blessing to the next generation.

Would you pray with me?

Father, we plead with you, I beg of you, that you would work in a miraculous, powerful way in the lives of your church.

And yes, Father, I pray for Church at the Grove, I pray for this family, this body of believers.

This extends into different areas, Father.

I pray for for our community and social circle.

I pray for for Walnut Grove and our county, Walton County, and the the East Metro part of Atlanta.

I pray for our city, I pray for our state, I pray for our nation.

Father, would you intervene?

Would you work in our hearts?

And as a result of hearts being changed and transformed, homes and families will be transformed and changed.

And as a result of families being transformed and changed, Father, our world will be impacted for your glory, Father, and for the good of others.

It's in Jesus' name we pray.