Victory Over Relationships

Right.

It is so good to see everyone this morning.

I want to say a special happy Mother's Day to those of you that are moms, and we're so thankful for moms.

We're so thankful for you.

And um and I'm I'm you know, my wife is is uh is pretty much for the last several years she uh tracks over to Dallas, Georgia, where where her mother lives, and so she she uh traveled over yesterday and she'll spend a couple days uh with her mom and and her sister and some of their family.

I I'll tell you something that's great news for my family.

You know, last week, man, I was so discouraged about my mom's health.

She was in the hospital, and I asked you to pray.

I know, and I I I just know beyond a shadow of a doubt that prayers were answered, and so we were able to move her out of the hospital into a rehab facility on Friday.

So praise the Lord.

Um and uh so she's got you know 20 to 30 days of of intense uh therapy and and and and everything to go through, but we're so thankful.

Uh they uh God stepped in, you know, along with medicine, and uh and I I told them the whole time what was the problem and they wouldn't listen to me.

Um uh yeah, I'm I am a doctor.

I am not the kind they wanted to hear from.

Uh but uh uh so I but and I kept but I kept saying that.

Uh I'm I'm a doctor, and I if y'all could just check this, they it didn't help.

But um uh but anyway, she's she's in a she's she's now you know on the way to hopefully recovery.

And and so uh I'm so thankful.

I my mom was just an incredible woman uh of great um faith and and and this intestinal fortitude that she displayed.

And and my father was not the easiest man uh to to probably be married to.

He was not necessarily the easiest uh father to be a child uh to.

And uh anyway, so so she she is a hero in my life, and I'm so thankful for her.

Um and so uh I know that my my wife and and and and I are in a different stage.

Um our youngest left in January and moved to Nashville.

So I've got uh a daughter and son-in-law in Nashville.

My youngest son is in Nashville, my oldest son is in Chattanooga.

Uh I'm not sure how they all ended up in Tennessee, uh which is is okay.

They can live as long as they do not get used to that putrid orange color.

And so um, so this is this is different.

I I'm I sat at home last night.

It was me, me and the dog.

And uh and so uh very very strange, strange feeling.

So, moms, we are so thankful.

Um one of the superpowers that you uh you are able to put on display is the superpower of forgiveness.

And today we're we're we're in this series, the resurrected life, is that we started on Easter Sunday.

And today the topic is is forgiveness, and moms are uh are just incredibly um uh incredible at at forgiveness.

I mean that that's the super power they have.

And so um I here's uh I want to I want to give you a list of of behaviors that that that have been chronicled.

I'm not gonna tell you who the parents are or where I heard this, but but but moms, I want you to help me out here.

So so we're gonna have this scale, scale of one to five, based, and you're gonna give me a response on this scale of one to five based on the behavior that I'm gonna share with you that I actually hope you enjoy, that you actually enjoy.

One is is like automatic forgiveness, right?

One, there's no doubt.

I'm gonna I'm gonna offer forgiveness.

Number two is forgiveness is very likely and probable, but it's gonna take a little effort.

Three is I'm on the fence.

You know, should I forgive them?

Kill them?

Uh you know, we I shouldn't say that, especially this service is being recorded.

Um punish them, whatever it is.

All right.

Four is, you know, probably not likely, and and five is just gonna take an act of God in me and through me to offer any kind of forgiveness.

And so here's the activity.

So child uh remains nameless, parents nameless.

They they colored all over the living room living room wall with the sharpie.

They've colored all over the living room wall with the sharpie.

I know some of you are thinking you've been in my house.

I know you, but but is it is it a one, two, three, or four?

How many of you say a three a three?

Okay, Carol, three?

So, Carol, we need to pray that God works in your heart this morning, right now.

I'm kidding.

What uh who says one?

Who says a one?

Y'all are so soft.

Two, anybody got a two?

We got a few twos.

Who's a three?

Let's be honest.

Who can really be honest?

Three, who's four?

Four, four, and dads are now pointing at their wives.

Oh, you know, you do not get forgiven because you were supervising.

All right, five.

I need to pray about this.

Uh you're you're very kind.

Uh they cut their own bangs.

They cut their own bangs.

One, two, three, or five.

Just hold up your hand.

Uh a one, that's no big deal.

How about if they cut the bangs of their sibling?

Four or five.

We don't, we don't, like, some of you are like here, we don't have we don't care about hair.

Some of some of you are like my husband doesn't have hair.

So uh they told a stranger in the grocery store that you said that they had a big nose.

Just throw the number up.

Throw the well, y'all.

I don't even think you qualify, Clint.

But all right, you're answering for your wife, right?

Uh so so so what's what was that number again?

Uh uh, y'all are most of y'all are kind.

All right.

Um, this is for those of you that that have girls they put glitter in the dryer because I want my clothes to be sparkly.

All right.

Some of y'all are very materialistic here.

All right.

Um drop your iPhone in the toilet.

They dropped your iPhone in the toilet.

How old?

Listen, I will tell you from experience, it does like they they they stay in the bathroom forever.

When they're older, with but we and we know it's the phone.

We know it's the phone.

It's just like oh that's a whole nother.

Um they said in front of the kids grow volunteer, my mom yells a lot at home.

What's the number?

What's the number?

Oh I like that.

She knows she admits it.

She admits it.

It's a big big deal.

I yell at home.

All right.

Um uh they turned and blamed you for passing gas, and that's what caused the ugly smell.

All the dads are on the what up.

You're I don't think the dads are supposed to be.

Uh um uh those of the old older children, you found out that your child has a boyfriend or a girlfriend after you saw it on Instagram.

Five?

That's a five.

Um all right, last one, no names, no names, child or neighbor.

But they said to a neighbor, my mom doesn't wear a bra unless she leaves the house.

What?

If it's true, it has to be a one?

If it's true.

How many of you will forgive me for saying bra and in one?

All right, good.

All right, that's the best part of the sermon, I'm telling you.

No, listen.

Oh, uh I I'd like to call us in session for church discipline right now.

Um I I've no, I'm kidding.

All this is on video, which really is scary.

Um, all right, so so uh moms have this incredible ability uh to forgive, and and they can absorb chaos, they can absorb so much.

Um but it let's be honest, forgiveness, forgiveness can be very, very difficult.

And and so the pain and hurt aren't just reserved for moms.

This is this is something that we all have to deal with.

Forgiveness is a universal need.

Forgiveness is a universal um uh issue.

It's not just a parental thing, it's not just a parenting virtue.

And so here's what I need you to know this.

If you don't deal with pain, it doesn't just disappear.

So it will fester.

It will fester over time.

And so listen, unforgiveness is a thief.

Unforgiveness is a thief.

Unforgiveness is the enemy.

Unforgiveness is a tool of the enemy.

Unforgiveness is a tool of Satan, a tool of demonic forces.

Unforgiveness, listen, it we we sometimes we hold on to resentment, we hold on to hurt and pain, and we we we uh in our minds somehow we rationalize this idea that we're kind of we're gonna force pain onto somebody else, but it's almost like when we when we fester in unforgiveness, it's it's as if we take a little pill of poison every day and we take it and give it to ourselves.

And so it it it is it is something that will eat you alive, it will imprison you.

Unforgiveness doesn't protect you.

The good news is you don't have to live with unforgiveness.

The good news is that you don't have to get into a destructive cycle.

You don't have to stay stuck in the midst of pain and resentment.

Um, it listen, it doesn't mean that that the issue or the problem or whatever the pain is is going to be resolved immediately.

It's not like you're gonna wake up, but and it may take some time, but there is freedom.

There's freedom through exercising forgiveness.

And here's the big idea that goes back to Easter Sunday.

The empty tomb doesn't just mean you're forgiven, it means you can forgive.

The empty tomb doesn't just mean forgiveness is offered to you.

The empty tomb states that forgiveness now, you are a conduit for God's forgiveness.

Forgiveness can flow through you to other people, maybe introducing them for the first time to Jesus.

And so my prayer is today for the Holy Spirit to work in our heart, to work in our life in such a way that we can have breakthrough when it comes to forgiveness.

Over the last few weeks, we've just discussed this idea of what it means to live this resurrected life.

That the resurrection of Jesus is as incredible as that one event, that historical event was 2,000 years ago.

And what it means for us in our spiritual walk, in our reconciliation with our Heavenly Father, it is not meant to be something that just stops with the day of Jesus' resurrection.

Jesus' resurrection power, it allows us to walk and journey each day in our life, and it provides the same power that breathed life into Jesus' dead body that brought him back to life, is the same power that is available to you to live the Christian life, to live this life of following Jesus and to forgive.

You don't have the power in and of yourself to forgive.

You don't.

But Jesus, through you, can forgive.

And so in week one, we discussed that the resurrection gives us a new identity.

We're not defined by our past, we're not defined by our performance.

We are defined by the power of Jesus.

His life and his death, and and the power that that gave him the bodily resurrection to walk out of that tomb.

Um, week two, we learn that we have authority over the enemy's lives and all these voices that are that we're bombarded with.

And now we can resist the lies that the enemy wants to speak into our life.

You don't matter.

You aren't important.

You aren't a gift from God, you aren't a child.

And then in week three, we tackled shame.

Last week we talked about how shame hides us, silences us, labels us, but Jesus seeks us, speaks to us, and gives us a new name.

And we exchanged, you all wrote on a name tag a description of sometimes how you know the enemy wants you to feel.

And you came and you exchanged it for a tag that really describes biblically how the Heavenly Father thinks of you.

And so today we're taking this step further.

The empty tomb doesn't just mean you're forgiven, it means that you can forgive.

And and and this is a tough one.

This is a tough one.

That's why we're gonna be in Matthew chapter 18 in just a second.

Matthew 18 · chapter mention

You've got your Bibles, you want to go ahead and open and prepare for chapter 18 of Matthew.

Listen, Jesus replied, How many times?

Matthew 18, when Peter asked him, How many times should I forgive my brother?

Up to seven times, Peter says, and Jesus replies with something that is that is like it's not even measurable.

He says, not seven, but seventy times seven.

You forgive.

So here's the story, the parable that that just kind of stops us in our tracks.

Matthew 18, verse 23.

Matthew 18:23

Therefore, the kingdom of heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with the servants who had borrowed money from him.

In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars.

I'm reading out of a modern translation, so so probably wasn't actual million dollars, but the equivalent of what today would be millions of dollars, lots and lots of money.

He couldn't pay.

Verse 25.

So his master ordered that he be sold along with his wife, his children, everything he owned, to pay the debt.

Now that's pretty that's pretty extreme.

Verse 26.

But the man fell down before his master and begged him, please be patient with me, and I will pay it all.

Then his master was filled with pity.

Another way to explain that is compassion.

He was filled with compassion for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.

Now that that's that's significant.

Forgave all that he owed.

Millions of dollars.

But I want you to see how this man responds.

Verse 28.

But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars.

He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.

Now, do you see a problem here?

I've got this unlimited forgiveness of debt over here.

And all of a sudden, I'm gonna find somebody that owes me a few measly dollars and I'm gonna choke them.

I'm gonna threaten them.

I'm gonna make sure I get it.

I'm gonna forget about this unbelievable display of grace and forgiveness.

And so his fellow servant fell down before him and begged him for a little more time.

Be patient with me and I will pay it.

He pleaded.

But his creditor wouldn't wait.

He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.

When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset.

They were aware of what had taken place.

They went to the king and told him everything that had happened.

Then the king called in the man that he had forgiven and said, You evil servant, you forgave.

He says, I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me.

Shouldn't you have mercy on your fellow servant?

Just as I had mercy on you, then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.

And here's what he says.

He said, That's what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.

And here's what is he saying?

It hits hard.

There's a deep principle here.

It's possible to receive grace and still live as if you are owed something.

It's possible to receive grace and still live as if you were owed something.

So the servant had just been forgiven millions, but wouldn't let go of a few hundred.

He received mercy, but then he goes and demands justice.

He's freed from prison, but then he takes what he's been set free from, and he goes and builds another prison for somebody else.

Here's the the twist in the end.

His unforgiveness put him right back into bondage.

And that's what that's what Jesus ends this with a warning.

He says, That's what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.

And basically, Jesus is making sure we understand, hey, if we expect if we desire forgiveness, then we need to be willing to be conduits of forgiveness.

If we want God's forgiveness applied to our life, our heart, our debt, our sin, then we've got to be willing to practice forgiveness toward others.

And so in other words, forgiveness is not optional for the believer.

It's not an option.

It's not something we can debate.

It's not something we can argue.

And I know, listen, I've I've you know I've sat down.

I'm not a, I don't, I'm not a licensed counselor, but uh, but uh, but I do counsel uh on occasion, and and I and I I I do what I would call triage sometimes to kind of try to get a feel for where people are and then and then and then maybe what their needs are, and then and then I try to you know make sure and get them.

Sometimes they need encouragement, but sometimes they need something that's more in depth.

And so a counselor can work with us, walk with us, help us to process.

The danger is if we don't deal with it, if we don't process it, if we don't consider this principle that we're learning in this passage and in this series and what we're learning today, then we will, listen, we will imprison ourselves into unforgiveness.

And so some of us, some of you know what I'm talking about.

Some of you right in the thick of some of this right now.

I understand that.

And I don't necessarily feel like you've got to resolve everything today.

This isn't like you're gonna walk out of here.

What I'm telling you is I want you to choose a path.

A path that says, you know what, I'm gonna I'm gonna follow the will that God has for me.

And somebody really wants me to finish fast over here.

We see it those of us who've received the forgiveness of Jesus, listen, if I ask all of you what you know, do you feel like you're worthy of forgiveness?

And some of you would tell me stories of why you don't feel Like you are worthy of forgiveness, and I would spend my time arguing with you that there is nothing that makes you unqualified for the forgiveness of Jesus.

But in turn, we've got to be willing to release somebody else from their prison of their prison of being unforgiven and to forgive.

Paul writes in Ephesians chapter 4, verses 26 and 27.

Ephesians 4:26

Here's what he says, and don't he says, and don't sin by letting anger control you.

Don't sin by letting anger control you.

Don't let the sun go down while you were still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

A foothold to the devil.

This is a verse that was so huge for Jill and I as we went through premarital counseling.

And one of our pastor that was leading us through premarital preparation, he says, hey, don't let the sun go down on your anger.

Man, we've had a lot of nights where we've stayed up pretty late.

And I'm just going to be honest with you, like, hey, listen, I'm, you know, I'm whatever, at three o'clock in the morning, I'm like, dear, I promise to forgive you.

I promise to forgive you.

If you'll just let me sleep, I will forgive you tomorrow.

And I joke, but sometimes we've had to say, okay, time out.

Press the pause button.

We got to have some sleep.

And we but we we can't leave it unresolved.

So we come back to it.

And so, but but here's what I want to Can I teach just for a second?

Can I just give you a couple nuggets here?

It says, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

In other words, unforgiveness opens a spiritual door for the enemy to leverage his work in your life.

That word foothold in the Greek is the word topos or topos.

Topos.

So we get the word topography and which means place or territory or the lay of the land.

And when you harbor forgiveness, you give the enemy ground in your soul that doesn't belong to him.

It's like renting out a room in your heart to someone who only wants to destroy it.

However, we have talked over the course of the series and as believers in our church that we have a new identity.

We are new in Christ.

And you've been set free from the bondage of sin.

And so before encountering Jesus, you're slaves to Satan, you're slaves to sin, you're slaves to the grave, you're slaves to death.

But after meeting Jesus, you have a new king, and you are a citizen of a new kingdom that is run by new kingdom ethics, if you will.

And so Satan has no authority over you.

The pain you've experienced at the hands of someone else has no power over you unless you hand it to them.

Unforgiveness is one of those lies, and here's some of the lies that the enemy will throw into your head.

It says, hey, if I let go, I'll lose control.

That's an enemy's message.

If I forgive them, they get away with it.

Now that's those are lies from the enemy.

And it and it lies from the enemy are opposite to what the truth of Scripture is.

Scripture says the opposite.

Holding on doesn't protect you.

Holding on to pain doesn't protect you.

Holding on to resentment doesn't protect you.

Holding on to the offense doesn't protect you.

It imprisons you from walking in freedom.

Now listen, let me just say this.

I haven't experienced what you've experienced.

So I do not want to stand here and try to speak with an authority that I do not have when it comes to your personal circumstances.

My authority simply is being the messenger that gives you the truth of God's word.

So it's not, it's it's I I don't know your story, and I can't claim to know your story, and I'm not gonna claim to say, hey, just forgive.

Just forgive.

No.

I'm saying it is worth a fight.

It is worth it.

And and we've got victory.

We're promised victory.

Don't give the devil a foothold.

Don't give him a place in your life.

Do not give him a stronghold.

That's our heart for forgiveness.

And Paul, so what do we do instead?

If holding on to unforgiveness gives the enemy ground, what does it look like to live free?

And here's what Paul says in Colossians 3, 12 through 14.

He says this, since God chose you to be the holy people, he loves.

Now I just let me, can we stop there and just I'm gonna read that little part again?

Since God chose you, so if you are here and you are a believer, you're a follower of Jesus, you've believed and repented, you've repented and believed and put your faith in Christ.

You're a follower of Jesus.

Since God chose you, so that's you, family of God, church, that's you.

Since God chose you to be the holy people, what He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tender-hearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

Make allowance for each other's faults.

Here's what he says.

And forgive anyone who offends you.

Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

How plain.

Much more plain.

Now, I say that, and the reason I wanted to give the disclaimer, I don't know your situation, is because that this is a principle of truth.

It doesn't make it easy.

It doesn't mean it's not something we've got to fight for.

And he says, above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.

We'll never be able to do what God calls us to do.

We'll never be what God calls us to be.

Unless we come from a place of acceptance, forgiveness, acceptance and forgiveness of others.

Listen, you're not called to forgive so you can be forgiven.

It's the opposite, you are forgiven so you can forgive.

Listen, forgiven people forgive.

Forgiven people forgive.

And so he, what does it look like in this passage?

He says, clothe yourselves with tender hearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

What are you going to clothe yourself with?

These are characteristics that we put on, like clothing.

He says, make allowances for each other's faults.

I just want you to know I know every day I go through life, I expect that somebody may not treat me well.

Now, when you add in the factor that I'm a pastor, it's multiplied ten times over.

I mean, there's somebody mad at me every week.

Because I something I said or something I left out.

And I and I'm I'm I might be exaggerating a little bit every other week.

And when I say mad, sometimes it's it's just, you know, they want to just kind of let me know they know a little more than me, or what I don't know what it is.

He says, make allowances for each other's faults.

Forgive anyone who offends you.

Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you.

And Jesus, Jesus is our example.

He didn't wait for us to deserve forgiveness.

He didn't keep a grudge.

He didn't say, I'll forgive you when you prove that you've changed.

He even went to the cross and said, Father, forgive them.

They don't know what they're doing.

And now he says, For me and you, go and do likewise.

Neil Anderson, which, you know, I'd encourage you, if you want to read about spiritual warfare, if you want, you know, solid, good theology on like demonic oppression and possession and spiritual battles, Neil Anderson is your guy.

He says this, you don't heal in order to forgive, you forgive in order to heal.

Now, if you're gone through something or you are dealing with it, you are healing from something, pain and hurt.

Forgiveness is the pathway to your healing.

It doesn't mean that the pain's gonna go away.

Snap of your finger.

What it means is you're on a pathway.

Ephesians 4, 31 and 32 say this: get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

We are told to forgive.

There are no exceptions.

Now, I I didn't grow up in church.

And so at 18 years old, I came to Christ and I began to volunteer and I began to serve, did a lot of stuff in youth ministry over the next decade.

I spent time, you know, uh at a camp up in Tacoba, Georgia called Impact.

That's where God began to speak to me about ministry.

That's where I met my wife, that's where I've met some of the best friends in all of my life.

And so I learned there that I need the support of others and accountability of others so they can speak into my life and hold me accountable for things like forgiveness.

Russ, how's your heart?

How's your heart doing?

How are you doing with what happened with your dad?

How are you, what about, you know, I mean, you you can think of any any question they have the freedom to ask me.

And so we're Paul says, be kind, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has for forgiven you.

And how did God forgive you?

He gave his son.

His son's life and his death and his resurrection.

And now he sits at the right hand of the Father praying for you and me that we would be people of forgiveness.

How did God forgive you fully, freely, before you ask for it, without keeping score?

And T.

Anderson says, forgiveness is resolving to live with the consequences of someone else's sin.

That is hard.

That is so hard.

Here's what I've learned.

As hard as it is, God's desire for me is to be holy.

And so I sometimes I've got to make a decision.

Am I gonna am I gonna choose to hold on to what's hard?

Or am I gonna choose to walk in holiness?

Forgiveness is how we walk three.

Walk walk free.

So with the remaining time, here's I I I want to I'm gonna try to get real practical.

So, so uh right now, I'm I'm gonna walk through steps to forgiveness.

I'm gonna do this really fast.

And and if we if we don't get all the notes, I think that all of these notes are in the Church at the Grove app.

And and so you can go to the Church at the Grove app, download it, and I believe, I believe we'll have these notes in there.

If not, you know, let us let me know, and I'll I'll email you.

I'll email you the whole sermon if you want it.

I I know what you're thinking.

One is enough.

Once is enough.

It's okay.

Here's steps to forgiveness.

Number one, ask the Lord, listen to me.

Ask the Lord to bring to mind the people you need to forgive.

You say, well, Russ, that's an easy one.

They're sitting right next to me.

I'm just kidding.

I don't that I don't know that.

It's possible, very possible.

Do you know that?

Well, I that's I'm getting in the weeds here.

Number two, so ask the Lord to bring to mind the names of people you need to forgive.

Number two is acknowledge the pain and the hurt.

Acknowledge this is this is painful.

God help me, this is painful.

Read through the Psalms, pray through the Psalms and feel the pain of David, King David, who is who is who's been rejected, who's been had, I mean, his his some of his own people have turned their back on him.

Number three, embrace the cross.

Embrace the cross.

You know, this the idea of what Jesus did for us, the heart cries, it isn't fair.

Where's the justice?

The justice is in the cross.

Jesus paid for every sin.

And so if I've accepted that, then that same forgiveness is available to the worst of the worst.

Number four is understand that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling.

Listen, you may not feel it.

You may not feel emotionally like you want to, but you can still make a decision to forgive.

And you know what?

Feelings will follow your obedience.

Understand that forgiveness is a choice.

Decide.

Number five, that you will bear the consequences of their sin, just like Jesus bore the consequences of your sin.

That's a tough one.

Number six, take your list to God.

Take your list of God.

And you can write or say something like this Lord, I forgive, fill in the name.

Lord, I forgive my dad for for his infidelity against my mother.

So that's that's that's personal to me.

I forgive my dad for for choosing alcohol over our family.

Lord, I forgive.

And there's sins of commission, things people do, and then there's things that people don't do that that they need forgiveness for.

And number seven, destroy the list.

Destroy it.

Do not sit on it, do not ruminate on it, destroy it.

You are free.

Now, you may not feel free, but you're free when you decide to forgive.

Number eight, do not expect others to change.

Don't expect others to change.

This is really less about others and more about you and your relationship with God.

As a matter of fact, there's going to be times where you will not and should not resume a relationship with someone who's hurt you because it's not the right thing for you or somebody else in your family.

You can't have a relationship.

Forgiveness does not mean that there is complete reconciliation with another party that's hurt you.

What it means is you've wrestled with your own pain and hurt from that person, and you've decided you're going to forgive them.

Because Jesus forgave you.

And I'm I'll stop there.

Probably the toughest act of forgiveness that I've ever experienced is the forgiveness that I had to offer that I felt compelled by the Lord to offer my father.

I'm the youngest of three boys.

And my dad, who had been a good, he had been a strong family man.

He wasn't a believer, but he was a hard worker, strong provider, good family man, uh, up until I was probably the age of eight or nine, ten years old.

He started traveling out of town.

The economy was really bad in the 70s.

And they said, hey, you can either be laid off or you can go out of town and work.

And when he started doing that, he started drinking.

And it led to all kinds of terrible, terrible activity in his life.

That I would have never blamed my mother for one second if she had left him and divorced him.

I wouldn't have held that against her.

But she hung in there and she forgave.

She led the way.

This is why my mom is a hero.

And she set the tone for the rest of the family.

That led to my dad's salvation and the reconciliation of our entire family before he stepped into eternity with Jesus.

Now I don't, I don't, I'm we can't completely understand each other's experiences, but I'm telling you that that is an absolute miracle that God worked in the life of my family.

Probably why I'm standing right here today I saw God at work in such a way that I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't resist the pull of being a man or a leader that would hopefully facilitate that kind of forgiveness and reconciliation.

Corey Tinboom says this forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred.

And so I want to just ask you to bow your heads for a second, if you would.

Bow your heads.

And I want to I want to speak to those of you that are here that may not have a relationship with Jesus.

And so forgiveness for you is toward other people is going to be much more difficult because you have yet to experience the forgiveness that Jesus offers through his life and his death and his resurrection.

Jesus says in Mark 1, 14 and 15, he says that the kingdom of God has arrived.

It is here.

Repent and believe the good news.

And so that's you say, Russ, how can I, how can I follow Jesus?

How can I access what he offers me?

Is you simply you simply pray and you say, Jesus, I want your forgiveness in my life.

I want you in my life, and I repent, which means to turn, to turn from the old way of life, and you turn and you walk with Jesus, and you focus your attention on the cross.

You focus your attention on what Christ has provided through his work on the cross.

You focus your attention on the person of Jesus that has provided this Bible, this word.

And when we open it, when we open up this Bible, God opens up his mouth and he speaks life into us.

And so if you've never put your faith in Christ today, today, that is your first step, is before you can forgive others, you must first receive the forgiveness that Jesus offers you.

Now, that's you.

If you need to ask Christ into your life, you need to put your faith in Jesus.

Like there's no magical prayer.

You just say, Yes, Jesus, I need you.

I repent, I believe, I trust you.

Lord, I apply what you did in your life and death and resurrection to my life.

The Bible says you move from death to life, you move from being condemned to now set free, you move from being an orphan now to an adopted child of God.

Your identity changes.

And so now, for those of us who are believers, the question is, how do we how do we begin?

I tried to give you some practical steps.

Identify.

Don't ignore.

Process.

If you need to talk to someone, let one of us know, let myself know, let let Jonah know, let let Pat know.

Let one of our leaders know.

One of these people that are up here on the platform leading us in worship, they they can direct you to the right person to talk to.

So, Father, would you work?

And would you change?

Would you lead us to being born again?

Would you lead us to applying truth to our life?

Would you lead us, God, to embrace your forgiveness and then to be a vehicle, a conduit, a means by which others can experience the forgiveness of Jesus.

Father, we thank you.

We thank you.

It's in Christ's name we pray.

And everybody said together Amen.

Amen.