When You Fear What People Think

All right.

Well, it is so great to see you guys this morning.

My name is Russ.

If I haven't met you, I'm one of the pastors here at Church of the Grove.

And just want to say Merry Christmas as we move into this season.

Whether you like it or not, we are here.

So we're going to make the most of it.

And so we're going to gather today and then we give you a little break going into tomorrow and then on Tuesday, Christmas Eve Eve, the 23rd, we'll have a five o'clock gathering to celebrate Christmas.

And then on the 24th, we'll have two opportunities here at our campus at Walnut Grove, 3 and 5 p.m.

And I believe it's the same schedule in Social Circle, but we can we've got it on online and in our app.

You can figure that out and make sure that you have the right choice for your family, you and your family.

But please don't miss out on the opportunity for us to get together and lift up the name of Jesus in this special time of the year.

So listen, I've got a confession to make.

So I'm pretty good at those.

And the confession is this I am a people pleaser.

I'm a people pleaser.

Always have been, I've always had this desperate desire to fit in, to be accepted, to be loved.

I remember when I first was sent to elementary school back in, I don't know, somewhere, you know, back in the 70s, maybe.

There were all these new fashion trends that all, you know, y'all know what happens.

There's a new trend, and young people go crazy.

And these kids were wearing these jeans that were cool and hip.

And my parents, who were awesome and they provided for me, so let me make sure I have tremendous respect for how they sacrificed for all of us.

But I had to wear Sears tough skins to school.

Listen, they pull them out of the box and stand them up in the corner.

I mean, they were so stiff, it it literally took, I think, half the school year to break them in.

My knees would have holes in them by the time I broke them in.

And so I'd go to class like this, and all the cool kids had on their, you know, their cool pants that were flexible.

And so there was a desperate desire to fit in.

And I I made a connection between how you dress or what you wore, uh, I wanted friends, and so that that was that that revealed something in me that wasn't necessarily the best thing in the world.

I wanted to fit in, I wanted to please people, and I've learned that if you want to be a leader, if you want to be an entrepreneur, if you want to be a pastor or a church planter who graduates into pastoring, you can't be a people pleaser and please God at the same time.

I learned that.

And I've always, I still struggle with having difficult conversations.

I really don't have a struggle preaching truth and preaching the word because there's a whole crowd of you here.

I'm not necessarily trying to get into a personal conversation, but sometimes when I need to have hard conversations with people individually or with a family or something, it it's I struggle with wanting to make sure they like me over and above, just speaking truth and let the pieces fall where they may.

And so you might be able to relate.

You might be a recovering people pleaser as well, or you might be a people pleaser.

And so I don't know if that has something to do with our birth order or some of the circumstances that we have and the kind of family we're born into.

And during this Christmas season, we're looking at a familiar passage of Scripture, but we're focusing on the declarations that three different angels made in three distinct situations.

And it was this fear not.

Fear not.

Do not be afraid.

You do not have to fear.

Fear not.

And so, as we have, and you'll see, there are many reasons for for the people of the Christmas story to be afraid, but the message from the Lord is do not be afraid, do not be afraid.

And I think it's an easy, it's an easy hermeneutical jump to applying that to our lives today, that we do not be afraid, we do not have to be afraid.

We are not to be afraid.

Because the king has come.

The one who holds the future in his hands has arrived, and he came in the form of a human being as a baby 2,000 years ago, lived the life, sacrificed his life so that we who live here 2,000 plus years later can live our lives not restricted by fear.

And so as we look at this story, we want to dig in a little bit and see.

Last week it was it was the story of Mary, or two weeks ago it was the story of uh it was the person of Mary and how she received the word from the angel.

Do not fear, fear not.

And I believe the angel's message can help us.

And here's the important lesson I think we need to learn.

Listen.

Obsessing about what people think about you is the quickest way to forget what God thinks about you.

That's right.

That's right.

Obsessing about what people think about you is the quickest way to forget what God thinks about you, what God proclaims about you, what God speaks over you, what God wants to bless you with.

And so you find yourself like me, worrying whether or not you're going to live up to expectations in a way that pleases people, say the right things, drive the right cars, whatever your issue might be, we want God to break the stronghold of that so we can walk confidently in the love of God and the identity that He has given us.

So can we pray?

Father, we ask that you would come and speak to us, not just as a group and as a family, but as to speak to us individually.

We believe that when we open up this book, you open up your mouth and you speak, and as we process what you say, I invite the Holy Spirit to come and to help us to apply these truths exactly where they need to be applied so we can be the people that you desire us to be.

It's in Christ's name we pray.

Amen.

So if we if we're we're back in the book of Matthew, we're gonna be in the Gospel of Matthew today in chapter one in the gospel of Matthew.

And so if you have your Bible, go ahead, whether it's electronic or or or paper and leather, turn and open up to that portion of God's Word, and we'll be starting at verse 18.

And we're looking at an often overlooked character in the Christmas story, pretty important character, and his name is Joseph.

He is a he has a massive decision to make.

And the decision is really determining: am I gonna choose the easy path or am I gonna choose the right path?

Am I gonna choose the easy path?

Am I gonna choose the pathway out of here, or am I gonna choose the right path?

Have you ever noticed the choices we make sometimes?

When you boil everything down, it's we have to make these choices, and they're relatively easy choices.

It's to do what's right or to do what's convenient.

And so, have you ever noticed?

They're pretty easy if it's it is if it's right not to gossip, but they're so much more fun to talk about interesting things in somebody else's life.

It's right, it is right to resist temptation, but it's so much more fun to eat it, buy it, and watch it.

And in this passage today, we'll see that Joseph had a choice to make.

Would he take the easy way out or would he do what was right?

And for those of us that are unfamiliar with the story, Joseph is engaged to marry a young girl, and they're actually betrothed.

And that betrothal word and the aspect of being betrothed, it's way different, or a little different at least, from how things are done in our modern society.

When they were betrothed, it was beyond just what we would call ordinary engagement.

It was seen almost, not quite, but almost as equal to marriage.

It was a binding agreement.

Now there was the relationship would not be consummated physically until the wedding.

But between, up until the wedding and after the betrothal, it was as if they were already into in a covenant relationship.

And to end that relationship would require at some level of what we would look at today as divorce.

And and that's how it was handled.

Two ways out of it divorce or die.

So verse 18, here's what it says in verse 18.

The birth of Jesus Christ came about this way.

After his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, it was discovered before they came together that she was pregnant from the Holy Spirit.

Now just stop right there for a second.

Over 30-something years I've read this story.

I want to come every time that I come to God's Word, I want to be able to come expecting something that's fresh.

And so sometimes you gotta just stop and think about this sentence.

After his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, it was discovered before they came together that she was pregnant from the Holy Spirit.

Now just think about how that reads for us.

It reads pretty simple for us.

Now, for those that are not believers outside the faith, maybe new to the faith, this might take a little time to process, but I I don't, it doesn't matter how long I've been a believer, I just think about that story.

It's crazy.

She's pregnant by the Holy Spirit.

I mean, imagine the conversations with her parents.

I mean, that's one of those things that's just not easy to hear in any circumstance.

But when, and we all come up with excuses when we're caught or or found doing something we shouldn't.

But impregnated by the Holy Spirit, that's a new one.

That's a new one.

Imagine that conversation.

Joseph comes home from a long day at work, and they're not living together yet.

They've not consummated the marriage, so he's gonna pick her up and they're gonna go have dinner.

However, you do, and however, you do that in the first century.

He picks her up.

Immediately he can tell that something's on her mind.

She's not her normal happy self.

Mary, what's up?

Well, Joseph, I have something I have to tell you.

And now, just stop there.

That conversation is leading to something that is normally celebrated and we're excited about.

They've never had physical intimacy.

Not to mention what it will mean for them socially.

Think about that just for a second.

Joseph, I have something I need to tell you.

I'm pregnant.

Now, what do you mean just think for pause for a second?

Think what Joseph, what goes through his mind immediately.

It's probably not this response, oh, praise God, you have shown up in a miraculous, powerful way that will change all of history.

You think that was it?

No.

I think it was probably a lot more of what you would expect.

What, well, who is he?

What where is he?

I mean, he's he's probably angry, he's probably confused, he's he's hurt.

His eyes get really wide, and immediately he begins to freak out.

He moves from shock to sadness to rage.

But Mary calms him down with these words that make total sense.

Joseph, it's okay.

God impregnated me by the Holy Spirit.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Oh, that's all you had to tell me.

I would I can't imagine what Jonas Joseph was thinking, but here's some thoughts.

Don't give me that.

That makes no sense.

I saw the way that that guy by the well checked you out when you went down to draw water.

From a human perspective, there's only two options.

I think in Joseph's mind, Mary is lying, or she is certifiable, certifiably insane.

One or the other, according to his mind, and I know some of you guys are have that look on your face like that's how my wife was when she was pregnant.

Certifiably insane, but that's a whole nother.

I notice that I I don't I won't talk big neck service when my wife's here.

So I need to take advantage of that now.

This is not a good situation.

Last week, a couple weeks ago, we talked about how this is not the way that Mary anticipated her life turning out.

But think about Joseph.

This is certainly not what he had expected.

If, if, if, and that's a big if, Joseph could believe her and trust her, what do you think is the next thing that comes to his mind?

What's the next question?

What are people gonna think about me?

Joseph is thinking about his reputation, that he's worked hard because he inherited a good reputation from his family.

He wants to honor that.

He's wanted to live obediently, and Joseph understands this will mark me and change me for the rest of my life.

It will follow me wherever I go.

Severe consequences that come from difficult situations.

And imagine what people would say.

No one would believe me, Joseph.

This is a scandal that has happened.

People will never in a million years believe that he and Mary weren't together physically before they were married.

It would have impact profound effects on Mary.

She would be known as an outcast for the rest of her life.

Joseph probably wouldn't be employable.

No one would want to do business with someone that isn't honorable.

The parents in no way could bless their marriage, and the poor child would be mocked because it was born out of wedlock.

It's just the way it would have been.

We don't know Joseph's state of mind for sure, but we do know that he had to be, he had to consider the situation to the point that he's willing to probably consider bailing out on the relationship with Mary.

He certainly wants to walk away and try to maintain or manage the circumstances.

And in verse 19, so her husband Joseph, and this is his response, this tells you a lot about him.

So her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her publicly, decided to divorce her secretly.

He still doesn't understand the significance of what Mary says.

He's thinking practically, how do I cover the tracks?

And you see that he's a man who is willing to consider not only his own interest, but the interest of Mary.

There's character, there's integrity.

He had been taught, he had been taught as a Torah, observant, Jewish young man.

He didn't want to make it worse for her.

He certainly didn't want to make it worse for him.

And this seems probably at this time like the most noble thing to do, divorce her quietly.

It would limit the shame that Mary would experience, and maybe he could rebuild his life.

Maybe he could start over, save whatever bit of reputation that there was still left, and maybe he could find someone else to marry.

But he's about to learn one of the most important life lessons that I think any of us could learn.

And it's this listen, listen.

Pleasing God often means disappointing people.

Pleasing God often means disappointing people.

That's just a reality of life.

Look at verses 20 and 21.

But after he had considered these things, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream saying, Joseph, son of David.

Let's read those next words together.

Don't be afraid.

Let's say it again.

Don't be afraid.

Don't fear.

Fear not.

Don't be afraid to take Mary as your wife because what has been conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.

So an angel comes, and I would say an angel has a bit of an authority.

They show up in a miraculous way.

It had to be supernatural.

So wow, this must be a representative of God.

He comes and speaks, changes everything, not necessarily removes some of those human feelings and uh of uh of and questions, but but hey, at least they're grounded and anchored.

God is in this.

Verse 21, she will give birth to a son, and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.

Now, I don't I'm not sure about this, but I can imagine that at this point there had to be a connection that Joseph would have made to the prophet Isaiah.

Seven hundred years before these events, the prophet Isaiah spoke a word in chapter 7, verse 14 that says this.

Therefore, the Lord himself will give you a sign.

Here's the sign.

Here's the sign.

See, the virgin will conceive, have a son, and name him Emmanuel.

That word Emmanuel means God with us.

So it's not that Joseph didn't have, didn't believe the long-awaited prophecy would be fulfilled.

He never in a million years thought that he would be part of the story.

And can I tell you that you, where you sit, probably think that your story is so minimal in its value, it may not even be worth sharing.

But I'm telling you, you, you, every one of us, you and me, we are part of a story sometimes that is so beyond our ability to comprehend, but God has placed you in that story to have impact.

And we said this earlier.

This is one of our lessons we're learning, right?

Obsessing about what people think about you is the quickest way to forget what God thinks about you.

Now listen to this.

On the other hand, obsessing about what God thinks about you is the quickest way to forget what people think about you.

This is the heart of overcoming people, pleasing.

We have to be ruthlessly obsessed with who God is and his character, to know him, to know him personally, be obsessed with pursuing what God thinks about us, what he promises us, what he, how he describes us, how he relates to us.

We have to prioritize hearing and believing about who God is, what he says about us, what his will is for us, and surrender to that.

How do we live for God instead of people?

You gotta learn how to know God.

You gotta learn how not to stand at a distance and say, yes, he's big and he's mighty, but he invites us to come up and to know him.

One of the best, probably one of the most profound books in my life is a book titled Knowing God by J.I.

Packer.

And it's one of those that I go back to every couple of years because it walks me through what the Bible says is the pathway to knowing God.

He wrote a companion book to that book called Knowing Scripture.

Knowing God, knowing Scripture.

You can't know God without Scripture.

You can't read Scripture without being introduced to a relationship with God.

Knowing God.

So how did God use Mary and Joseph in these circumstances?

Mary gave birth to the sinless son of God and gave his life as a ransom.

For many, can you imagine that the event that turned the world in its head also caused severe hardship for Mary and Joseph?

It led them down a path that was going to be uncomfortable, even painful.

And here's another lesson that we can learn.

If you're not ready to be criticized for your obedience to God, you're not ready to be used by God.

That's it.

Yay! Merry Christmas.

The joy of the Lord is my strength.

I could not wait for Russ to tell me.

That it's worthless to think about being used by God.

No, listen, if you're listening that's just part of, that's we're we're we're promised.

We see in Scripture, it's spoken to us.

We see it practically in the world all throughout history, even to the day that we are here where we are today, there's gonna be opposition to those who say they believe in God.

There's always gonna be opposition.

If you want to do something great for God, you're gonna have to be willing to be criticized.

And look, I and I I know that that applies to all of us.

It applies to me.

If you can't take some heat for doing God's will, then you'll never be in the middle of God's will.

People aren't always gonna understand, and there will be people who talk and say things about you.

The apostle Paul understood this.

I mean, think about his situation.

He goes from being a murderer of Christians to being a Christian, a follower of Jesus, and becomes part of the movement of taking the gospel to the world.

I'm sure, man, there was there was persecution on the front end, there was hate in the middle of God using him.

Here's what Paul says in his letter to the church at Galatia, Galatians 1.10.

He says, For I am now trying to persuade people.

For am I now trying to persuade people or God?

He's basically saying, Am I going to please people or persuade them?

Or am I going to please God?

Am I striving to please people?

If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

So if my goal is to please you, I cannot be a servant of Christ.

If you're trying to live for the approval of people, you simply cannot fully serve Christ because you are worried more about what people think about you.

This is why so many people I think fail to go public with their faith because they're afraid of what others might say.

So many people that never take the first steps, never go through baptism.

We've got a baptism today at 10:15, so excited about that.

And so if you're gonna share your faith, if you want to be a person that's willing to invite, invest, and inviting people, make sure these seats are filled up here and over in a new facility, hopefully in March, then you've got to be willing to deal with the reality that some people aren't going to like you and what you're about.

Living for Christ will lead to criticism from the world.

Not doing a business deal, possibly missing out on finances, because we've chosen ethics that have come straight from the morality that's given to us in Scripture.

Not going to a party because you know the environment is going to be ungodly.

Saving yourself for marriage.

This is laughable in our culture today.

But it's an important part, I believe, of healthy marriages is for two people who've honored God.

Now that is not a that's not a message of condemnation because there is no condemnation in Jesus Christ.

He sets us free.

He sets us free from the consequences and the and the uh the separation.

He reconciles us to the Heavenly Father.

Maybe it's maybe you need to uh uh look at how you watch, what you watch, what you listen to.

But if you take a stand, whether it's in the workplace, whether it's at school or whether it's online, wherever it might be, people are going to criticize you.

People might make fun of you, and they'll say, you just think that you are better than everyone else.

If you're not ready to be criticized for your obedience, then you're not ready to be used by God.

Here's another lesson.

Those who make the biggest difference often endure the greatest pain.

There's a direct correlation, I believe, with leaders who continue in their mission and the pain that they have to endure to make it through it.

Direct correlation.

Now, am I an advocate for pain?

Am I saying, woo-hoo, that's great.

No, it's just reality.

It's a reality.

The quickest way to get feedback, whether it's positive or negative, is to step out and do something on faith.

Start a business, start a ministry, take the leadership of serving in your community, whether it's on a city council or as a as a local leader.

Listen, you do anything that takes a step to be out in front of other people, you are going to have arrows shot at you.

That's just the life and the world we live in.

And so there has to be the ability to absorb some of that and continue to move forward.

Listen, living for the Lord, doing something that leaves a legacy, raising your kids the right way, sharing your faith, being part of a body of Christ.

All of that is worth it.

And it's hard.

And one of the things I think maybe we've lost sight of in our cushy American culture is how to prepare our children to do hard things.

And then finally, extraordinary acts of God often start with ordinary acts of obedience.

Mary and Joseph had no idea what awaited them by saying yes to God.

They didn't know that they would still be talking about their faith, that we would still be talking about their faith today, or that they would be seen as, you know, they've been considered saints in in the Catholic Church.

They just had a choice.

And their choice was this is I will walk in the obedience of God.

I'm gonna trust Him.

Psalm 119, 105 says, Your word is a lamp to my feet, a light to my path.

And I I may not be able to see way down there, but I can see see what this next step has for me.

And I'm gonna walk in faith.

There are some areas in your life where you are living to please people instead of God.

It leads us to spend money we don't have, we go into debt to try to get the approval of people that we don't even know.

I could go on career, compromise ourselves for to try to be in a relationship.

We'll compromise ourselves sexually all kinds of ways.

Sometimes we hide our faith because we're afraid of the outcome if we go public, whether it's job or school or a sports team or or a club or or some kind of activity.

But here's what I want to finish with.

Listen to me.

And this is when we think about Mary and Joseph and the pressures and the fear that had to be a part of their life as they are brought into this truth that a child will be born.

They'll carry this child, and it's gonna change the world.

It leads me to this.

You have no idea what God might do through one single act of obedience.

You have no idea what God could do through one single act of obedience, and that's how we should come to the Lord.

So would you bow your heads with me and let's pray together, Father?

God, as we consider what you have for us this morning, as we consider how we're to respond this morning, God, would you move in our hearts?

I pray for the power of the Holy Spirit to move.

God, speak to people, bring them out of darkness and into the light.

By the power of the Holy Spirit, help them move beyond being a people pleaser, to being someone who wants to make a difference and take a stand and a stand for truth and what is right.

And I just want to close with this.

It's a statement from R.

G.

Lee, who passed away in 1978, one of the great preachers in our country.

He says this Christ, who in eternity rested motherless upon the father's bosom, and in time rested fatherless upon a woman's bosom, clasping the ancient of days who had become the infant of days.

What deep descent, from the heights of glory to the depths of shame, from the wonders of heaven to the wickedness of earth, from exaltation to humiliation, from the throne to the tree, from the dignity, from dignity to debasement, from worship to wrath, from the halls of heaven to the nails of earth, from the coronation to the curse, from the glory place to the gory place.

And in Bethlehem, humility and glory in their extremes were joined, born in a stable, cradled in a cattle trough, wrapped in swaddling clothes of poverty, no room for him who made all rooms, no place for him who made and knows all places.

Oh, deep humiliation of the Creator, born of the creature, but in his descent was the dawn of mercy because we cannot ascend to him.

He descends to us.

And that's what Christmas is.

And because of this reality and the power that comes from God entering this earth, we now have the means by which we can have hope, we can have courage, and have the strength and the understanding that God will never leave us nor forsake us because of Jesus.

And if that is true, I can do whatever he calls me to do.

I can be obedient wherever he issues his decree, his plan.

So we thank you for Jesus.

Would you bless us today?

It's in Jesus' name.

Amen.