The Price of Your Device

Happy New Year to everybody.

My name's Russ.

If I hadn't met you, I want to say welcome to all of you that are here, especially if you're here for the first time, or maybe you've been uh you've come recently and you're exploring a new home for you and your family.

We encourage you to hang in there with us as we enter into this new year.

Um we got a new series this morning, and but but let me preface that with a little story that I think plays into this this series.

When Jill and I uh started dating, we were already in our mid-late 20s.

And so I actually got married uh the year I turned 30 years old.

So we were a little older.

Uh I think we there was a benefit to that with some maturity.

Um hopefully God had prepared us uh a bit for what what he had in store for us, and so we we got engaged, and then we knew that the priority before we got married was to go through some premarital preparation, premarital counseling.

And so um guy named Steve Parr over at that time he was a youth pastor at Hebron Baptist Church.

Um, Steve had been a mentor to me, and so he did our premarital counseling.

In the process of our counseling, he gave us what we called the TV challenge, the television challenge for married couples.

And the idea was how long can you go without having a television in your home?

And so Jill and I both embraced that challenge, maybe not in the exact same way.

So what ensued was a negotiation, and what we settled on is hey, six months, six months without a TV in the house.

And so, which I thought was a great challenge, but but what what I learned was is you pull away time from the television, man, you gotta fill it with something.

And that was a lot of time.

Realize, man, at that point in our life.

I grew up in a home where the TV was on all the time.

All the time.

Jill grew up in a home a little more grounded, they didn't turn it on unless they really wanted to watch something.

And and but but here's what we agreed on six months without a TV, and then the other part is we will we we agreed that we would never put televisions in the rooms of our kids and all over the house like I grew up with.

And so just one TV after six months.

Now, you know, anybody knows we got married in 1995.

In June of 1995.

Anybody knows knows what anybody knows what happened in uh October of 1995?

And I didn't have a TV.

But you know what?

I got to know some of my neighbors really well.

That was a proactive approach rather than a reactive approach.

Now that I like the fact that I can tell that story, and I can tell you that there are tremendous, tremendous benefits that we experienced by choosing those decisions and being proactive.

But here's the reality: we thought we were being proactive, but we couldn't keep up with technology, we just couldn't keep up with it.

And so, as we had kids, we had no idea that 2007 would be a huge year, because that's the year that this came out.

And so Josiah was born in '98.

And so by the time 2007 came around, it was he's in middle school age, adolescence, and we did not have a proactive plan.

It caught us by surprise.

And I'll tell you, I've got a 27-year-old son, 24-year-old daughter, and then a 20-year-old son, and we experienced really what I would call an addiction to technology, and we had to fight it.

But we were fighting it from a reactive place rather than a proactive place.

And so I watched it.

I watched technology, and particularly having technology at their fingertips, I watched how it grip the heart of my kids.

And then I've watched how it's gripped the heart, my heart, and my wife's heart, in subtle ways.

And and every child is different.

Boys are different than girls.

So boys are, I think, just they're gripped with image-based, you know, uh, drawn to pictures, drawn to videos, drawn to things that can be good and things that can be really, really bad.

It was different with my daughter, but I watched my daughter embrace social media, wrestle with social media, and and and probably affecting her and her self-worth, self-esteem, the sin of comparison, all those battles.

Now, I think I'm proud of my kids and where they are right now, but man, that was a battle.

And here's why we're doing this series.

It's because I want our families to be proactive.

Now, all of you are at different stages in life.

Some of you are in the stage that I'm in.

You maybe you your kids are raised, your kids are out of the house, the empty nesters, and you might feel this doesn't apply to you, but it does.

But I am particularly interested to see how this might help some of you that have younger kids be proactive in coming up with a plan that would protect the hearts of your children.

Now, I we were we were with our kids up in Nashville.

We went to the the Opreland Hotel.

And it's a beautiful place on the east side of Nashville, it's where the Grand Old Opry is.

And it's like a theme park, especially during Christmas time.

It's just it's beautifully decorated.

There's ice skating, there's all types of activities.

The weather was gorgeous that day.

We were inside and outside.

And the indoor, there's this indoor garden area.

Words can't describe it accurately, but it's just gorgeous and beautiful and decorated for Christmas.

There's all kinds of stuff.

And families are walking, playing.

There's a water park there, there's all types of things.

We just went to walk and to hang out mostly.

And as we watched, went around the park, I noticed that parents were engaged with their kids, but when they stopped doing an activity and there was a gap from one activity to the next, what do they fill the gap with?

Yeah, so I watched as in this beautiful environment, to me, I it's you know when we're amazed at the beauty of God's creation and we resort to finding our attention wrapped up in a digital device, I think there's a problem.

There's something wrong with that.

And I watch these families who are who are spending time together, all sitting down in between activities, rather than continuing to engage with one another and talk to one another, what do they do?

They fill the gap with something else.

It's just, and this is, I don't know about you, but it's become nature, human nature to me.

It's become a habit, it's become an addiction.

Just to pull this out of my pocket and to fill the gaps between things that are important.

What do we fill the gap with?

The gap is important.

And we gotta fill it with something.

And so I felt a bit probably self-righteous that my kids, we were all engaging with one another, not being tempted to pull out our phone, but what happened when I sat down between activities?

It's just habit.

It's an addiction.

I'm not proud of my relationship with my phone.

And I know all the things you're not supposed to do.

I'm guilty of not docking my phone somewhere away from my bed.

I use it as an alarm clock.

That's probably something I could address.

I know that I'm guilty of doom scrolling, going down YouTube rabbit trails.

I pick up my phone to respond to a text, and then 35 minutes later, cute babies, golden retrievers, other other things that have no negative value necessarily, but they fill the gap.

They don't have a it's not being proactive, it's not, it's not seizing the opportunity.

And if I'm honest and I struggle, I would imagine that there are probably some of us that struggle with the same thing.

This isn't about condemnation, this isn't about judgment, it's about taking scripture and applying it to our lives in the 21st century.

And you think, I would even think, I'm probably guilty of saying this, that there are things that we deal with in modern life that the scripture does not overtly address.

But as I've been studying and thinking through this, I don't think that's true.

I think scripture addresses everything in our life.

Even in the 21st century, we've got to do the work of taking something that is inspired by God, the word of God, and we call it the Ark of Hermeneutics, where we apply it to whatever stage of life, whatever uh place in history that we find ourselves.

I know that many of us struggle.

I went to look for a flip phone.

I wanted to bring a flip phone, and I thought we probably had one laying around the house.

How many of you have drawers filled with technology and phones?

And so, listen, if that's you, you are loved, God loves you, we're glad you're here, and and and we want to dive in and hear what God says about giving us a fruitful life of just good fruit.

Technology can be a point of tension.

I know that there might be some pushback in this series, and that's not the purpose.

I don't want to teach something with the idea of making it controversial and pushback.

I'm just asking you to be open in your heart to the truth that God wants to speak.

I'm not going to tell you anything you have to do.

God loves you the same.

Whether you apply any of this and practice it, God loves you just as much.

Here's interesting.

We don't usually choose distraction, it just happens.

The text turns into Instagram, Instagram turns into YouTube, and then 45 minutes later, here's what's happening.

What social scientists and anthropologists are now observing is this our fixation with devices has led us to into a state of sedation.

We're not asleep, but we're not fully awake either.

We're exhausted, but we're not rested.

We're connected, more connected than ever, but we're lonely.

We're entertained, but we're underformed spiritually.

And here's the thing: technology is not going anywhere.

I feel like technology is so far ahead of us, it's hard for us to be proactive.

Which is why I think this 28-day digital fast is something that we need to think about.

We need to potentially at least give it some thought and prayer and maybe apply it in whatever way fits you the best.

It's about observing what happens in you when the noise turns down.

When there is a gap, paying attention to your heart, the anxiety, relationships, your spiritual life, your family rhythms, paying attention to what fills the gap.

And if you don't take our word for it, studies show that 100% of the people who've gone through a 28-day digital fast, everyone says it was worth it.

Now they don't say it was easy.

They don't think they weren't perfect at it, but they said it was worth it.

And here's what we need to learn is that we don't just remove distractions, we need to replace distractions.

You don't just remove distractions, you gotta replace it with attention to something else.

When you feel the urge to reap for your phone, here's the application.

Pause and ask the question: is this what I need?

Or is there something else that I need in this moment?

It might be quiet, solitude, it might be scripture, it might be the presence, leaning into the presence of Jesus.

What do you fill the gap?

What do you fill the gap with?

What do you fill the gap with?

We fill it with something that is important and valuable.

At the end of the day, this isn't really about phones and just technology in its of itself.

It's about formation, it's about understanding what is shaping you, and because what we give our attention to is what shapes us.

Let me say that again.

What we give our attention to is what shapes us, it's what forms us.

And in this passage in John 10, we're gonna be in John chapter 10, verse 10.

John 10:10

If you got your Bibles, uh pull them out, electronic or paper and leather, and we're gonna be in John chapter 10, and I love this chapter because it's it's I call it the shepherd uh chapter, where Jesus identifies himself as the shepherd, and we are his sheep.

John 10 · chapter mention

And here's what he says: My sheep know my voice.

My sheep know my voice.

But the truth is, many of us are surrounded by so many other voices, we're not sure that we would recognize Jesus' voice if he was standing right in front of us, sharing something with us.

Here's kind of the big idea for today.

A distracted life is the greatest threat to a flourishing faith.

A distracted life is a threat to flourishing faith.

Something's gonna fill the gap.

We need to be proactive in choosing how we fill the gap.

So, John 10, 10, here's what it says.

It says, the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy.

I have come that you might have life and have it in abundance.

Now that's a one of my life verses, one of my favorite verses.

It's a verse that it that I would encourage you to memorize.

Um, but today we're going to look at the first part of that verse.

Jesus says, He says, I am the shepherd, I'm the good shepherd.

He says, My sheep know my voice, and then he pulls back the curtain and he identifies the strategy of the enemy with three words to steal, to kill, and destroy.

So let's look at each one of these individually.

First one is the thief comes to steal.

This is the strategy of the enemy, and then we're going to take this truth and apply it over the next 28 days to our digital life.

So then it becomes to steal.

What does that word steal mean?

It's the word, in the Greek, it's the word klepto.

Klepto.

Now, anybody know what word we get in the English language out of that word?

Klepto maniac.

And it's the literal, the literal meaning of that is it's a subtle theft.

It's not a, it's, it's not, it's not the idea of somebody coming up to you and holding a gun in your face and robbing you.

It's more of a pickpocket kind of thing.

My my wife, before we got married, she spent every summer overseas.

And so she had taken a trip this particular year before we got married.

She was in Russia and she flew back through Amsterdam.

And, you know, traveling with passports and money and cash, you know, she had she had she had applied all the tricks of traveling to her.

Don't leave your stuff alone, keep your hands on it.

Uh, you know, don't put your money and your ID in the same spot.

All these tricks, but she was tired and she was exhausted, and she was standing in the airport in Amsterdam, and and someone came up subtly and began to talk with her.

And she talked, and her bag was right here.

And then she turned around and her bag was gone.

There was a team of people working together.

Subtle theft.

A quiet, a pickpocket type of theft.

What is being stolen?

Not your salvation, not your faith.

What's being stolen is your time and your attention.

Two of the most precious resources we have.

The enemy knows that he can quietly drain your time and attention.

He's going to affect your life, your family, everything else in your life.

Not stealing your salvation, not putting your salvation at risk.

This is, this is like this didn't, your soul's not in danger, but the quality of your life, the abundant life, is at risk.

Paul says in Ephesians 5.11, he says, have nothing to do with fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.

What's happening beneath the surface of our digital lives deserves exposure.

Tristan Harris says this to the the, and he he was a he was formerly the Google product philosopher, and he says this the tech industry is at an arms race for people's attention.

That's what's happening.

And part of that attention is coming through grabbing your children with technology and stealing the abundant life.

Most digital platforms that you and I are intentionally engineered for are intentionally engineered for distraction and addiction.

Because that that's how money is made.

It's all about economy.

Economists call it the attention economy.

Seth Godin, this marketing guru, he says this your phone doesn't work for you.

You work for your phone.

You see the strategy?

I mean, they're not even secret about it.

It's out in the open.

We want the attention of your kids.

We want the attention that you have in your family.

We like to think that we're the customer and we're buying products from these big tech companies to help better our lives, but that's not the business model of these companies.

We want to believe that we're the customer, but that's not the business model.

We're the product.

We're the product.

What's being sold is our attention.

What's being monetized, it's not your money, it's your attention.

And they want to cultivate in you and your kids a digital addiction.

Here in Neil Postman's book, titled Amusing Ourselves to Death, it was written in 1985, and it was a prophetic book long before its time.

The book was about the effort of television and entertainment in the American Western culture.

Now, this is 85.

This was before all of us had a phone in our pocket.

I don't even know, this is even before I had a bag phone.

Remember those phones that were in a canvas bag?

And you had to have them plugged in all the time in your car?

So this is way before, and he writes, he says, what he predicted in the 1980s was that the two areas of society that would be most damaged by TV and entertainment were politics and religion.

In politics, he predicted that TV celebrities would replace educated, intelligent, wise leaders.

And in religion, he predicted that depth and discipleship would give way to superficial, feel-good spirituality.

Ouch.

So our attention is up for grabs.

And they're shaping everything around us to capitalize on that.

So how you know how many times have you sent a text message and you respond?

And while you got your phone out, I'm just gonna check my weather real quick.

I check the weather.

I ain't thinking, I just pop over.

It's just habit.

I pop over.

I gotta know what people are going through, what's happening in their lives.

I'm I'm a I'm their shepherd.

So a little quick over to Instagram and Facebook, just just to see what's happening, make sure nobody's going through something to need prayer for.

And then then it happens.

It happens.

You see a suggested reel of a mountain biker on a hilltop, and you think, man, that's so pretty.

And then a hang glider, man.

That's beautiful.

Then a science experiment between Diet Coke and Mentos pops up.

A quote from Dr.

Phil pops up.

Guitar solo, music video, magic trick with an egg.

Then a scene from Seinfeld.

Man, that's great.

Then the best pickleball point you've ever imagined.

Then a quote from Elon Musk.

Then an audition from America's Got Talent.

On and on and on.

My personal favorite is Golden Retrievers.

I mean, I'm a sucker for a cute dog video.

But I learned if I click on one, they just start popping up.

And then I have this fear of missing out.

I start saving and bookmarking things.

It's a sickness.

And you look up, an hour has gone.

Not to mention clickbait.

Clickbait?

You know what clickbait?

You know what clickbait is.

We get sucked down these wormholes of worthless, mindless trivia.

It's all about your distraction and your attention.

Psalm 119, 37 says this, turn my eyes from looking at worthless things and give me life in your ways.

And so we all know it.

Do you get a notification that shows how much time you've been on a screen?

They usually pop up on mine on Sunday, right before I preach.

And I'm like, oh my goodness.

Four hours?

Five?

I mean, we we could, you know, that I've had those pop up and it's convicting.

It's convicting.

Here's what Catherine Price says in her book, How to Break Up With Your iPhone, or Break Up With Your Phone in General.

She says that if you wanted to invent a device that could rewire our minds, if you wanted to create a society of people who were perpetually distracted, isolated, and overtired, if you wanted to weaken our memories and damage our capacity for focus and deep thought, if you wanted to reduce empathy, encourage self-absorption, and redraw the lines of social etiquette, you'd likely end up with a smartphone.

And so the thief comes to steal a subtle theft, a strategic.

Nobody would say out in the open, we want the hearts and the minds of you and your family.

It does, but the thief also comes to what?

To kill.

The thief comes to kill.

And the word in the Greek is the word thu'o.

Thuo is to kill, to slay, to slaughter.

In Scripture, it's most often in the context of slaughtering an animal, maybe even a sacrifice.

1 Peter 5.8 uses this word devour.

Be alert and of sober mind.

Your enemy, the devil, prowls along, prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.

And that word devour means to swallow whole.

Swallow whole like a reptile that sunk its teeth into an animal and swallows it whole.

The idea of an animal tearing apart their prey.

And why does this matter?

It's that in the last decade since the widespread adoption of smartphones, rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide among teens have skyrocketed, especially among young women.

Multiple studies from multiple countries, including the U.S., the United Kingdom, Turkey, and China, have shown strong links between heavy social media use and anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, insomnia, and loneliness.

These are important things.

Can I tell you this?

Anything that steals hope or convinces you that life isn't worth living, it doesn't come from Jesus.

It comes straight from the enemy.

It comes from the devil himself.

So we're watching a generation struggle.

And what I my desire is that you as families would take an inventory and pay attention.

And as we give you application, maybe you don't adopt everything.

Maybe there's three to five things that you could apply that would really change how you fill the gap in your life.

So the thief comes to steal, he comes to kill, devour, he comes to destroy.

The Greek word is apology.

Apology means to destroy, but not always instantly.

Listen, it can also mean existing without flourishing, alive, but not being fully alive and enjoying the life of joy and flourishing faith that God has for us.

It means being alive but being diminished.

Maybe I would describe it as hey, we're we're alive, we're physically alive, but sometimes we are just living a hollow existence.

And Jesus says the thief wants to destroy a flourishing life.

Now, there's now with iPhones, not only do you have all the issues with distraction, addiction, and attention, you basically put in the hands of a middle school adolescent boy every bit of the pornography that we've known that was out there, but probably miss out on how available it is now at the fingertips of young people.

Now that ought to wake us up right there.

It ought to wake us up.

He comes to destroy, he wants to destroy lives.

He wants to grip the hearts and lives of all of us in such a way that we miss out on the joy.

Now, we're not saying we're against technology.

There is value in technology.

There can be good things that come from technology, but I don't think we should dismiss the intentional, strategic attempt for the enemy to grip the hearts and the minds of our families and our young people.

And so, what do we do?

The goal for this series is not just to give you a bunch of information, it's for us to wrestle with and to change how we do life.

So here's it's not about rules, not about the law, it's not about, it's about establishing maybe rhythms and habits that are much healthier for us, for our kids, and our families.

And what are some of the practical applications is make your smartphone a dumb phone.

Make a smartphone a dumb phone.

I I've had a couple friends in my life that, man, years after the iPhone came out, they were still having a flip phone.

And I and I look back and I respect them, and we laughed at, I would make fun of them a little bit, but I think they understood, they had the foresight, man, I'm not going to give in and give up my flip phone until I have to.

And so, but you can take your smartphone and you can make it a dumb phone.

There are some settings that you can you can go into your phone, probably watch a YouTube video.

Or maybe you could hire uh Reese to help you because she's an expert in that area.

And so you can you can set settings, but the idea is to move away from distractions.

Email can be a distraction.

Social media is it's not evil, it's not bad at all.

I enjoy keeping up with people's lives and seeing the pictures of their families, but but social media can be a rabbit hole.

News, games, web browsers, YouTube, Amazon.

I I I could my kids are all on my Prime account.

And I get I watch, I get I get a notification every time they order something, and I'm like, man, where'd y'all get all the money?

And why don't you help me pay for my Prime membership?

I did bring that up in Christmas.

Uh it was ignored, but I brought it up.

But you you move from distractions of those things to using your phone in the in a utility type of way that was, it was, that does benefit you.

And that's having a phone, having the ability to communicate with people, text or phone calls, a calendar, a calendar.

Maybe there's some things you have to have for your work.

A camera, uh being able to check weather, your banking apps, all those things that are more utility-oriented over being distraction-oriented.

Maybe one of the things you might do over this 28 days of a digital fast is eliminate other screen time when you're tempted just to fill the gap with just mindless attention on electronics.

Fill the gap with family time, fill the gap personally with you uh spending time discipling uh your kids, experiencing discipleship yourself.

Limit digital technology to only work apps during work hours.

I mean, there's a whole series of things.

There's a workbook, there is a book called The Digital Fast, 28 Days, written by Pastor Darren Whitehead in Franklin, Tennessee, just below Nashville.

And he does a great job of taking research, modern research, and pairing it with through the lens of the gospel, through the lens of scripture.

Here's what I want you to know.

As I have thought about this term, fill the gap.

What does it mean for us to fill the gap in our spiritual lives?

You know that God loves every one of us.

He created us in his image, he created us for relationship.

But we know that sin has entered the equation.

Sin draws our heart away from God.

Sin can fill the gap.

But sin caused a gap between us and our relationship with the Heavenly Father.

We, in our own strength, cannot attain righteousness.

We need something outside of ourselves to redeem us, to restore us to right relationship with our Father.

There is a sin gap.

And that gap has to be filled with something else.

And you know who filled it?

Jesus filled it.

Jesus filled the gap.

Jesus stood between sin and your lost heart, and he, through his life, his death, his resurrection, he filled the gap for us.

And he said, I've come that you would have life and have it in abundance.

That's what he wants us to fill the gap with, abundant life.

Jesus filled the gap so we can be reconciled with our Heavenly Father.

And I think part of our response is to, in worship and in discipleship and spiritual formation, is to be intentional, to be proactive, and not to be a 60-year-old with adult kids regretting how I set patterns for them in my own life, and how I would teach them, and how I would fill the gap in my personal life.

And so the application is this if you've never experienced the life that Jesus wants you to have, you've never surrendered your heart and faith, you haven't repented and believed in Jesus and what he's done for us, maybe this morning your first step is to put your faith in Jesus.

Maybe you've done that before, and you come into this new year, and we all like new beginnings and fresh starts, and you hadn't really thought about this, but maybe God wants you to think about how you can steer your life away from just numb death scrolling and to be more proactive with the rhythms that you have in your life and in the life of your family.

Amen.

So would you pray with me this morning?

And I think the desire that I would have would be that the Holy Spirit would begin to speak and begin to work in your heart and life, that you would be open to the gospel, not just the gospel that draws you into relationship with Jesus, but the gospel that also forms you spiritually and helps you grow.

So, Father, would you speak to us?

God, I pray, thank you, Jesus, for being the good shepherd.

Thank you for working in such a way that we could be here in January of 2026 and know and trust that your word applies to every area of our life.

I don't, my desire is not to be condemning, not to be judging, judgmental, but to focus on redeeming.

Redeeming our time, redeeming our attention, redeeming our families, bringing them back under the Lordship of Jesus.

And ultimately, we know that God wants what's best for us, what is falling and lean into the gospel in every area of our life.

So, Father, speak to us this morning.

God, I pray that everything else will fade away and that we can focus our eyes on Jesus.

So speak to hearts, speak to minds.

I pray that we would be open to this challenge.

It's in Jesus' name that we pray.

Everybody said, Amen.