When Men Mend: Dealing With Our Damage First // Damaged But Not Destroyed (Part 5) // Michael Todd

Welcome to Transformation Church podcast, where we represent God to the lost and found

for transformation in Christ. We're so glad you're here and wherever you're listening from,

we believe God will transform your life. Do today's message. Welcome to

week five of a series that we're in called Damage but not Destroyed, Ain't

Yeah. This series has started healing all over the world. And if you

have not walked with us through the last four messages, I'm asking you,

I'm begging you, I'm pleading with you, go back on YouTube this week

and watch all of them. Just have them going in your house, Just

go to sleep to it instead of the Netflix. Just put on YouTube and

put on Damage. But just allow this to begin to permeate in you,

because I believe that God is starting to allow his people to deal with damage.

Our shout next year is not going to be a shout that is restrained

because of what we have not dealt with. When the Bible says deal with

all your weights and the sin, a lot of the issues of our trauma

and our drama are weights that God's saying it ain't a sin no more,

but it's weighing you down. And we have committed to a season of healing.

Look at your neighbor and say it's healing season. I know when it

starts getting warm outside, everybody think it's cuffing season, and you're ready to

have a bay, and you're ready to get warm and cuddle next to somebody.

Before you get a bay, you need healing. I'm gonna say it

one more time before you do your third marriage, let's go to therapy.

It's called insanity to do the same thing over and over again expecting a different

result. And I just believe it's time for the body of Christ to heal.

Somebody say it's healing season. And today I have a burden, not

just a message. I have a burden that came to me and I was

really trying to fight it off because I've never done this before. I've never

known I have to talk directly, firmly, and strongly to a group of

people that are listening to this message right now, in such a way that

I told them I can't stand up. I need to sit down, put

me something next to like, do something different, because this is different what

I'm doing. I know today that I have to specifically talk to men.

Now. I know this church is filled with eighty five percent of women.

God bless you. But may I submit to you that the problem with our

society is not on your shoulders. Make I know I'm not gonna get a

lot of collapse for this, But may I submit to you that the reason

the enemy has been able to run crazy and our society and our families on

our kids is because men have gotten out of place. And we had a

whole hot girl summer. This summer, we had a whole All the speakers

was women. Everything. We need a hot men's sermon today. I'm gonna

be humble, open, and transparent with men and ladies. I need you

to know this may be the most important message you ever hear, because everybody

is affected by the men in their lives or the lack of men in their

lives. This message is going to teach women how to pray for their men,

not just abuse them and bash them and tell them what they don't do.

It's gonna teach them how to pray with specificity and accuracy and intentionality for

the men of God that you have in your life or you may be raising

today. I want to give you a vision, ladies, for the type

of men that you want to lead you. Let me say it like this,

It's less important where your man takes you on your first date and more

important that he understands his god given mandate. I don't know if y'all were

in the dark like me, but this past week I had the opportunity to

go put Christ in the middle of culture. And your pastor was on the

Breakfast Club on this past Tuesday. And while I was up there talking about

damage but not destroyed and and sharing the love of Christ, they brought up

this list. He said, tell them about the list fast. But there

was this list of that that a conglomerate of women got together and made about

the places that you cannot take them on their first date. And it was

a very extensive list. It was exhaustive. I mean it was there was

like twenty seven thirty things like and I mean I mean they started off strong.

They was like, you can't take me the cheesecake factory. I said,

that is not she That bread is the only free thing. That cheese

game factory. Y'all know the brown bread. And as I began to see

how this cultural phenomenon took over people's ideas, I was like, they're focused

on the wrong thing. It's not a relationship gold series, But I just

I will say it's less important where your man takes you on a first date,

and it's more important that he has a vision from God about the mandate

of why he is here. And I came to the conclusion you only make

lists when somebody doesn't know how to lead. The only reason you need to

make a list is because somebody's not walking in their dominion and leading where people

need to go. And the truth of the matter is the only reason that

list could exist is because there has been an epidemic of passive men that has

flourished in the body of Christ and in the world. The women of God

and the women period are looking to be led ladies. Y'all should a man

more than that? Yuh? And some of y'all like, I'm not looking

to be land. I'm on my own't know, calm down. The only

reason you take somebody's place is because they're out of it. And I just

feel like I gotta sit here and look at you and let you know that

today the men of God need to deal with our damage first. Most of

us are hoping our women get it together, so then it kind of rubs

off on us if she would just get it together. And God is coming

to your house today and saying that I commanded and mandated the man to do

everything in the household. First woman was taken out of man's rith. The

man was already here, and God said it's not good for him to be

alone. It's not good for him not to lead. But since the very

beginning, instead of taking responsibility, we placed blame. Oh y'all don't remember

Adam. Why did y'all eat the food? Do you remember Eve ate the

fruit? God talked to Adam. Go read it. He didn't address them

as equals. He spoke to the one he gave leadership to. And what

did he do is the woman you gave me? He shifted blame when he

should have repented. I cannot believe that the God, who after man is

separated from him, makes us come back to him through repentance, would not

have saved all that time if Adam would have said, it was me,

my bad God. I didn't give her full instructions of what you said,

And even when she offered me the fruit. I love her so much,

but I do what you said. But I was weak in that moment I

turned, I repent, and since Adam we've been shifting blame. But the

damage that happened to you may have not been your fault, but it is

now your responsibility. And today I want to I want to entitle the message.

When men men, When men men, say it with me, when

men men Mark Chapter one, verse fourteen. Now, after John was put

in prison, Jesus came to Galilee, preaching the Gospel of the Kingdom.

It's the only thing he preached, and saying, the time is fulfilled,

and the Kingdom of God is at hand. Repent and believe in the gospel.

And he as he was walking by the sea of Galilee, he saw

Simon and Andrew, his brother, casting a net into the sea, for

they were fishermen. Then Jesus said to them, follow me, and I

will make you become fistures of men. They immediately left their nets and followed

him. When he had gone a little further from there, he saw James,

the son of Zebedee, and John, his brother, who was also

in the boat, mending their nets. When men mendmediately he called them,

and they left their father's Ebede in the boat with their hired servants and went

after him. God, teach every man that it is your desire for us

to mend in Jesus' name. Amen, ooh, I'm about to work this.

The first four men that Jesus calls to be a disciple were fishermen.

That could be also said they were men who knew how to mend, because

you cannot be a fisherman and throw your net out there day after day and

there not be a tear, rip breach in your net. So these men

that Jesus walks up, he could have chose anybody. But what he chose

to be disciples of him, followers of him, is men who men mending,

men, men who actually use their hands to build up and not tear

down. Men who don't just use things, they know how to put them

back together. That phrase mending their nets was used in Mark chapter one,

verse nineteen, and Matthew four twenty one, but it comes from the same

Greek word. Okay, watch this qatar teitso? How do you spell that

ka t a r t i d z o qatar teitso. I practiced that

for a long time, But look at the meaning it means to repair men,

watch this one, prepair or restore this Greek word that means mending their

It means that the men that God chose in the very beginning were men that

knew how to fix things after damage, were men that knew how to prepare

fortified things before damage, and men who knew how to restore bring back to

original form. Is that how you would describe the men in your life?

She said no. And this is not a message to bring anybody down.

This is a message to set the bar. This is a message to bring

everybody up to understand that until men of God get into their right place and

mend the nets, men the relationships, mend the breaches, men the brokenness,

we will always have things that slip through what should have been caught by.

We have children slipping through our nets. We have resources slipping through our

nets. We have confident slipping through our nets. We may live in the

most insecure men generation ever. You look at me. They're not confident in

anything they do. What do you do? You know? I'm really between

no, no, no? What say it's Jess. You may clean a

eyem a bathroom technician, say it with something in you. It's not where

I'm gonna be forever. But this is where I am right now and I'm

not ashamed of the process. Okay, Please do not let social media and

people's opinion make you ashamed of the process. God has you in. David's

first time to the palace was as a servant. He was Spotify for King

Saul. I want you to think, play this tune. Oh he did.

That was his first time to the palace. But the place he would

rule in was the place he had to serve first. And we have so

many people ashamed of the process. God has the men, and because of

that, we have not been taught to men nets. Now. When I

started to research this, mending the nets was something that was passed down from

generation to generation. That means if your father was not there, you did

not learn how to mend nets properly. And the truth of the matter is

we live in the most fatherless generation and history where men can sow their seed

but not raise the tree, and then they're ashamed of the fruit it produces.

But the problem is we will not learn this skill. This very intricate.

You can't mend without intimacy. You have to put your hands on something,

you have to be gentle with it, you have to be delicate,

to mend, and men have been demasculated and taught that being delicate is weak,

being careful with our word choice. You have shut the hell up or

you already know you told your kids day yesterday. You feel like because you're

an adult, you're the man. I shouldn't have to explain myself to you.

No, no, no. They may need to learn how when they're

frustrated they can mend a relationship with out going off on somebody. But you

didn't see it, so you can't teach it. But this word mending nets

means to everybody say repair, fix after damage. Everybody say prepair that's fortified

before damage, and then restore, bring back to original form. When I

started to look at the men that Jesus chose to carry the gospel, like,

think about this. He only chose a few men, and all the

men he chose in the beginning were menders, which tells me a common practice

for men before the modern area era of technology was mending. There was no

geek squad, there was no tech support or net support. There was no

place you could go take your net. It was a common practice for men

to know how to put things back together, not just use things, not

just write things, not just make things, but mend things. I believe

with all my heart that Jesus desires men to mend again by faith. Somebody

needs to agree with me right there, It's time for us to mend again.

Maybe you've never seen it, maybe you've not been a part of it.

Maybe it's gonna take a lot of work for you to actually come off

of the pride that you've built up to not do it. But the first

person to say sorry in your household should be the man of God. The

first person to say sorry, the first person to go, the first person

to open a Bible. And the whole church is a body of Christ right

now is very feminine. Oh God, we got more men that know lyrics

to rap songs that degrade the relationship that they want to have than scriptures hidden

in their hearts. How does a young man the young woman keep their way

pure by hiding the word of God in their heart? You got drake songs

in your heart, and now you've made babies that you don't have anything to

pass on except the damage. So what's not transformed is transferred. I'm looking

you dead in your face. It is real quiet in here, Mama,

Chloe, because the truth of the matter is you have learned that correction is

threatening instead of correction being for your benefit. Lebron James has a coach,

Michael Jordan had a coach. Tiger Woods had a coach. The greatest to

do things at their level paid people to correct them. And because we feel

like everybody trying to come at me, can't nobody grudge me except God thug

life. Because of this warped mentality that has crept into the church, we

think correction means separation from people, except the Bible says God chastens or corrects

the ones that he loves. So three areas that I believe that men need

to become professionals at mending again. Number one, we need to mend the

relationship between us and him. How did prayer get out of school because men

didn't stand up? How There's so many real things come into my head right

now, Carl, I don't know if I can say all of them.

We might need to have like a closed men's meeting. Why do these young

ladies dress in a way that is provocative and suggestive under the age of sixteen.

It's because the men in their life did not affirm them and give them

value beyond their curves. And so to get the affirmation you should have gave

them, they have to do things, or feel like they have to do

things to go to get the attention that the man in their life was supposed

to give them. And because in some people's cases the men in their life

were so perverted that they violated them, their mind now is warped to what

a father, a man, even the baritone in your voice was supposed to

mean. And so now they're going to take control into their own hands.

And that's where this whole sexuality movement come. I control my own body.

Most people they were violated, and so instead of being submitted to what the

word of God or Father God says, they have to take control because the

earthly men in their life did not mend. So the first relationship that needs

to be mended is our relationship between us and Him Ephesians chapter two. I'm

gonna read a thick piece of scripture right here, and I want you to

see how God made a plan for us to be mended back to Him after

we were separated in the garden. As for you, you are dead in

your transgressions and sins in which you used to live. When you follow the

ways of the world, and under the ruler of the kingdom of the air,

the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. That

is a lot of Bible right there. You serve the devil if you don't

serve God. That's what that first part of scripture said. I just want

everybody to know that if you don't get in the Kingdom of God, you

are serving under the ruler of the Kingdom of the air, the Spirit who

is now at work, and those who are disobedient to God. We'll leave

that right there verse three. All of us all so lived among them at

one time. So everybody that got real churchy and real religious you was there

too, He said. We used to gratify the cravings of our flesh,

and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest. We were by nature,

by nature, by this fallen nature, deserving of the wrath. But

everybody say, BUTO, But because of his great love for us, God,

I love this because it is not religion. There's no church there,

there's no organization. But because of his great love for us. Who you're

talking about, God, who is rich in mercy made us alive with Christ

even when we were dead in our transgressions. What this is is when you

were going after God and going away from God, God was coming after you

while you are dead in your transgression. He was like, but they're gonna

turn around, but they're gonna They're gonna find out that there's a better way.

And he said, it is by grace you have been saved. And

God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms

in Christ Jesus, in order that in coming in the coming age, he

might show the incomparable riches of his grace expressed in his kindness to us in

Christ Jesus. What God is wanting to do in this age and in the

next to see see how jacked up they were, Look how much grace I

put on them, and now look at them. He wants to show off

his grace by how messed up we were being mixed with, how good He

is in us still getting to the finished product. We don't even deserve love

God, for it is verse eight by grace that you have been saved through

faith. And this is not from yourselves. There's no class you took to

deserve this. There's no good deeds you did. I know you think you're

a good person, But there was only one of those. His name was

Jesus. This is a gift of God, not by words, so that

no one can boast. For we are God's watch, this handiwork. We

are the thing that God decides to put his hands on as the man of

man, the man of men, the king of kings, the lord of

lords. He said, with all my power, I want to be in

the details. I want my hand to be on Do you all remember how

we were creating? He put his hand in the dirt, He put his

hand on us. Everything else he's spoke to let there be like he never

touched the sun, stars, earth. The first time he touches the earth

was to make us. Why did he want to put his hand on us

Because he wanted to be in the details, admitting us together so it would

be handcrafted, handmade, his handywork, his design. We are his master

piece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance

for us to do. This makes me think about Psalms one thirty nine.

For you were created for you created my innermost being. You knit me together

in my mother's womb. Real men men, they mend their relationship between themselves

and God. If you want to be a real man, get your stuff

right with God. Stop blaming everybody else, Stop telling everybody why you can't.

If somebody would just see no, no, no no. If God

before you, who could be did y'all just see will heckenbock up here.

I was in the back when he was giving his testimony. He was in

prison. Now he's ministering in prisons. Y'all don't know, y'all don't know

when the shout he gave y'all an insight, He said he went back into

the prison, and it shocked him because he was able to go and come

as he pleased. Do you know how many days he probably looked at those

metal bars and said, I wish I could get out of here. But

while he was in jail, God was mending him back together, y'all.

And I believe that many of the trials that men go through an opportunity for

you to see that you cannot do it on your own. Your failure is

a path to faith. I believe sometimes God intentionally allows you to fall flat

on your face so you can see you're not God, so that you can

and you steal. After all the times He preserved you, after all the

times that you should have died because of alcohol poisoning, after all the babies

you have with all of these women and none of them have killed you.

Yet, that's a real situation after God, after that record being what it

was, and God allowing you to find the one employer who would look beyond

your faults and see your need. After him picking your business back up after

three failed attempts, you still gonna sit in the place of Lord and King.

The first relationship that every man needs to mend is your relationship with Him.

And if you're in this room before the end of this service, you're

gonna have a chance to walk out of here mending back to your heavenly Father.

Okay, all men need to mend the relationship with God. Number two,

every man needs to mend the relationship between us and them. We need

to mend the relationships between us and other people. Now, this one is

the hard one, because what keeps men from mending relationships is pride. And

some of y'all have not mended relationships with your spouse, with your children,

with old relationships with business partners because of your pride, and I just want

to let you know it might be costing you more than you think it is.

Ephesian Chapter four, verse twenty five. So stop telling lies. How

you doing, bro, I'm good. No, I'm good. I just

don't f with them. No, no, no, no, no,

no, I'm good. Just let hey, he stay over there. I'll

stay over here if you come back. It's on site, y'all know what

I'm talking about? On site? Like that means no, somebody's like on

site, Sally, I don't understand. Is that Are they in the same

vicinity? Okay, let me help you, Sally. If somebody says it's

on site, that means when they get together, will there won't be any

talking? Oh my god, that's very very, very very aggressive. Yes,

on site is very aggressive. But the truth is the matter is if

esian stop telling lies, you're not good, You're hurt, you're angry,

you're frustrated, you feel disrespected. There should be more amen's in here from

men. But the problem is you haven't even been even conditioned or given permission

to feel so when you actually want to say something, you shut up.

Can I still I'm doing a whole message on men, and all I hear

is the ladies, yes say that. Okay, like the man what they

do. You might not be doing it physically, but we're doing it emotionally.

You've been protecting yourself since seven And what I'm telling you is pride may

have served you in a season to survive, but it's no longer serving you.

If you are going to be the type of man that God has called

us to be, and we're gonna be the ones to deal with our damage.

First, you have to kill pride in your life. So stop telling

lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth. This is what the scripture

says. Not God, He already know it. Now, God know my

heart? Yes, but your brother does it? I don't know. I

already talked to God about it. Now, you need to talk to your

wife. He'll give you the words to say. He'll give you the desire

and the power to do what pleases him. But many times we're not doing

what we need to do because we think it stops with God. But healing

always happens person to person. That's why James tells us to confess our sins

one to another, pray for each other. And that's when healing actually comes.

So most of us, especially as men, we've confessed it to God,

but we still haven't experienced healing because we have not confessed it to anybody

else. This is why many of us need therapy. This is why all

of us need community. You need a small group that you can walk in

and say, my wife on my last nerve, bro, I mean the

smell of the wig it is getting on my nerves I'm talking about I'm talking

about She leaned over to kiss me and I was like, ell, you

can't say that to her, but she said better not because the truth of

the matter, there's some emotions in there, there's some frustrations in there,

but who can you say? How can you get it out of you?

And until you let pride die, you can't do it. Let me finish

reading this scripture. Stop lying. Let us tell our neighbors the truth,

for we are all parts of the same body, and don't sin by letting

anger control you. Did I just describe most men. We know one emotion.

It's the one we go to faster than any other one. It really

is a cover up for what we're really feeling when we feel rejected, we're

angry when we feel disrespected, we're angry. It's the easy one to go

to. And we have torn our children and our wives and our brothers down

with the one emotion of anger, and the Bible's addressing it right here.

Don't sin by letting anger control you. It doesn't mean you can't have it.

But if it's controlling you, if it makes you do something after it

that doesn't go to God. If it makes you damage something or somebody,

some of y'all got more holes in your wall pictures. Just it's like,

where were you guys going? Okay, I see the abstract that you were

going for in the decord, Like the truth of the matter is it's just

patches over places, and then you justify it by saying, at least it

wasn't their face. Hold on, wait what don't let the sun go down

while you are still angry. Everybody that says that scripture is like, because

we need unity, so do not let husband's wives. Don't let the sun

go down on your anger. Because God blesses unity. Yes he does.

But if you read the rest of the scripture, it tells you why you

don't want to go to bed angry and Most people miss this part, for

anger gives a foothold to the devil. When you don't mend, you lose.

Let me say it like this, When you don't mend, you leave

room for the devil to come in. Some of you? Why just this?

Oh, I just got these urges right now? Who you angry at?

I know I'm about to do something dumb. Bro, I know I'm

about to do something dumb. She got one more time to say something to

me? And I promise you I'm who you're really angry at. Nothing's happening

for me. Man, I'll be working this whack job, delivering these whack

packages to all these whack people. I got this great idea. Why won't

God let this off the ground? Who you angry at? Because when you're

angry, you open the door. It's a foothold, you know, when

the door is closing. And then somebody says, eh see see, there's

there's something about having access when you when you're in doors that have something precious

behind them. The only place where somebody unauthorized can get in is when you're

not watching when the door is closing. So many times you in your heart

because that's why the Bible says, guard your heart above all else, because

out of that place flows the issues of life. And because anger is in

there, it's like the devil just putting his foot in the door. He

ain't even got to come in right now, he just got access. Yeah,

I'm gonna wait until about one thirty after love and hip hop goes off

and you still angry hunt. Your wife's sitting right next to you. But

I'm gonna allow you to get on social media and going to vanish mode.

Some of your damish mode is It is a mode on Instagram where it deletes

the messages and the dms immediately. She says, shut up. I thought

that was something to do with the Holy Spirit. I know. Know.

So so somebody that dms you six weeks ago, and you've been saving that

DM, you just open it up to look footh hope and you just text

them something like what you've been up to, stressed, trying to figure out

how to relieve some pain? Ah? What scripture? Scripture? Scripture,

scripture. I can't help you with that, Oh I should? Why did

I text it? You? Playing boy? I'm a grown man, but

she called me boy? That felt good. I'm telling you what really happens.

I'm just gonna go to sleep. I'm just go sleep. I'm just

go sleep, go to sleep. Six days later, you stopped it,

you ghosted them done. But did you deal with that anger? Because if

you didn't deal with it, he's still got his foot. The enemy's smart.

The Bible says, he goes around like a roaring, lying seeking whom

whom he might devour. And many times we're leaving the door open to the

enemy because we have not dealt with the damage, the anger, the isolation,

the hurt that's on the inside of us. God's idea of men does

not work with culture's idea of man. Man up, tough it out,

Shut up, for I give you something to cry about. Stop being a

pawph. Your son is hurting. You're teaching him, at five years old,

to ignore his emotions. Stop being a little pump. Your sister could

have took that. You just a sissy. His father's not in the home,

and you're giving him identity that goes against the word of a god.

Jesus experienced every emotion. Jesus was allowed to feel that. But you won't

let your son feel it because of the embarrassment it might cause you because of

the deficiencies you haven't dealt with. No. No, no, I'm just

saying like you can't raise no pump. Okay, So when he stops feeling

and it turns into anger and rage, I don't know what to do with

him. I just can't control him. You trained them. Every child is

programmed. That's why the Bible says train a child in the way they should

go, so when they get older they won't depart from it. The problem

is we're getting the generation we're getting right now because we trained them that way.

Stop blaming school and the church because your children's pastor is you. We

made up children's pastor in church to make you feel good about your kids going

to the place right now. But children's pastor is not in the Bible.

The only children's pastor is the parents. Your kids are a product of your

parenting. I know, I know, and men, you can't parent without

proximity. Oh my god, I'm walking too heavy right now. I know.

Y'all don't want church people to say this. You want me to tell

you your breakthroughs on the way doesn't matter if you get money, if you

don't have relationship with the seeds, you brought into this earth. It doesn't

matter. And you've stopped trying because of the baby mama. You slept with

her. That child had nothing to do, and now you've given up because

she difficult. You were cheating on her, Okay, let me stop.

You act like you was not creeping with her friends. You did it,

and now you're mad because she feels rejected again because the man who was supposed

to give her identity in the beginning wasn't there. So the first time she

was supposed to first two times she was supposed to experience love, she ran

into a father that was absent and a man who had not been taught to

mend. And yes, she is bitter and broken and and mad and pissed,

and if you give her an opportunity, she's gonna slap you. No,

you need to deal with your issue. Deal with your issue. Deal

with your issue, ma'am. What I'm saying is just because it's not working,

you don't get to stop trying. There's too much at stake. The

only reason you go after mending a relationship is because there may be use for

it. Again. These disciples weren't mending the nets to then throw them away.

They were mending the nets in preparation for what was to come next.

I keep telling young leaders all the time, you better value the relationships you're

around, even when you leave companies and exit stuff. Be careful how you

leave places, in what you say, because this world is a widow and

the very person you think you escaping from God has a way of two or

three years later that being the very person you leave. This is why you

always treat people with kindness, and you always you always mend. He said,

teach me how coach? I'm glad that you ask. Okay, meekness.

Meekness is how how do I mend my relationship with God? I come

under submission. Meekness is not weakness. I want the number one quality on

every woman's list to be meekness. Why it's who Jesus was, power under

control. I mean, he's on the cross and literally tells us it's the

most gangster thing. I could call ten thousand angels to get me right now,

but I'm choosing to submit to the will of my father. You better

be glad I'm meek because I could tear this mug up. I could tear

the club up. When's the last time you could, but you didn't.

When's the last time you know Shorty would have gave it up and you deleted

the whole contact? Is the truth? Anyhow? When the last time that

you could have made a decision to financially change the trajectory of your family's life.

And you say, you know what, I'm gonna ask God if I'm

supposed to do this first, I'm gonna submit my will to his will.

No, it's a great opportunity. Is in an assignment from God? Or

is it something else to take you away from the family. Last thing we

need to mend our relationship number one with us and him. Then we need

to number two mend our relationship with us and them. And then the last

relationship we need to mend as men is we need to mend the relationship between

him and them. Every man is supposed to help other men repair their relationship

between God and others. We don't do this at all. All. We

worried about I'm right with God, I'm right with Ma Foe and no Mo.

But what did he tell the disciples, I'm gonna make you fishers of

men. You're supposed to be the lead disciple maker in your house. Where's

the church. Does the church you have discipleship? Yes, you, because

this takes the responsibility off of everybody else. What scriptures can you give your

sons? What scriptures come out of your heart? When you ready to fight

somebody, cut somebody out, make a move, What things come out of

you? You're the lead discipler of your household, even if you don't have

a family yet. Your decisions today create your patterns of tomorrow. And if

you would decide to be a disciple today, when your children come into the

world, you then have the ability to love them, raise them, and

give them out of your overflow. Galatians six point one. Brothers and sisters,

if someone is caught in sin, you who live by the spirit should

uh oh, here's that Greek word again. The word is restore in the

Bible, but if you search it back to the Greek, it's qatar tizzo.

Brothers and sisters, If you live in the spirit, you should mend,

repair, prepare, and restore people gently. But watch yourself because the

way you restore them, you still have the opportunity to be tempted. The

reason I'm up here and I'm sharing my story and I wrote damage but not

destroyed, and I'm telling all my business every week. Every week I'm telling

my business. I went on the breakfast club this week and told my business.

I mean, I'm in the middle of like gossip news culture every and

I was a man obsessed with greatness. And God told me that my standard

could not be higher than his. If he said it was good, why

do I want it to be great? I need to go to therap.

I was molested at six years old. I forgot about it and blocked it

out until I was thirty one. I was already a pastor. I had

to tell my wife what happened to me, and we had to go through

counseling together. God, why am I doing this? Oh, because there's

another man out there that has never seen a man actually help mend them.

You've never told anybody what actually happened. You never mentioned what you actually saw.

You never told anybody you saw that person leaving the house. You never

told your parents what happened to you at school because you knew if they knew,

they would have hurt that person. And because you actually have a heart

of compassion, you didn't want the person who hurt you to be hurt,

so you protected them by hurting yourself? What are you asking us to do?

Pastor? Second Chronicles seven fourteen. If my people who are called by

my name, I want to focus on two words, will humble themselves everything

that comes after that. Everybody maximizes on the next parts that they would pray

and seek my face. You can't do that without humility. What are you

saying, Pastor Mike, I'm asking every men man in this place to become

men? Who men? How do we do that? We stop walking in

pride and we humble ourselves. What's the point of this message passing Mike?

Humble yourself? You've only heard Kendrick Lamar say it, and you still don't

know how to do it. Humble because there's only two ways of humility.

You humble yourself or you be humbled. And many men, the saddest truth

is many men do not humble themselves until they are forced to. You lost

everything. Now, God, I'm coming to you. Have y'all seen that

every person that's like an R and B or rap star, when they get

fifty nine, they give their life to Christ like at the lowest point of

their influence. And I'm grateful that they do that. But how many other

people. Could they have helped if they became a fisher of men and mended

the nets while they were on that platform. James fourten. Humble yourself before

the Lord. Another translation says, under the mighty hand of God, and

he will lift you up in honor. How do I humble myself? One

point, this is how we going home. Acknowledge God, listen to me.

Listen to me, Listen to me, because I wanted some every man

could go home, and every one man. You're a man with a wound,

So this whole message applies to you. But I needed to be very

specific to the men of God. But this is for everybody. Everything I

said, go back and apply it to yourself. How do we walk in

this? Acknowledge God in everything Proverbs three five and six. Trust in the

Lord with all your heart, and this is gonna help men. Don't lean

to your own understanding. It ain't that good. I mean, I know

I be not thinking stuff just between me, my wife and my kids.

So thinking about my whole God said, don't even worry, bro, you're

understanding. You don't even have to be good in all your ways. Do

this one thing. Acknowledge him and he will make your path straight before you

look at your budget. God, I wasn't trained on how to do money

right. So today I'm acknowledging I need you to help me be a good

steward over the finances you gave me. That's humbling yourself and acknowledging him that

mends what the enemy has tried to break. Before you leave your house and

go to work. Acknowledge God, people kiss me off. Oh y'all want

fake prayers. Father, people be tapped dancing on my last nerve, especially

at this job I'm at right now. So God, I'm acknowledging that you

can give me both the power and desire to do what pleases you. You

call me to be a light in the midst of darkness. So God,

I'm acknowledging that it will be your grace and your peace that I make it

through this day without going off on somebody. And Jesus say Amen, before

you give that message to the youth that you're trying to help them, before

you do what you think you know how to do. Acknowledge God, I

am just a man, and my words fall to the ground. But if

you would allow your spirit to be on the words that I say, it

could go into somebody's life, Father, God and change them forever. Acknowledge

him before you get in that bedroom, and bless the union that God has

given you. God, I acknowledge that you are the creator of this body.

Lord, let me do some things that she ain't never seen before.

Play if you want to. But he's a good guy, oh, it

says. Acknowledge him in He will direct your back before you buy that dream

house. And you got the money to do it, he says, it

might be monetarily the thing to do, but the more square footage is gonna

make your family move apart. You can't see it now, but three years

down the road, you're gonna be in your man cave and she's gonna be

in her she shed, and your kids are gonna be in the game room

and some boys gonna be sneaking out the back. Somebody said, no,

he's not. He already has. It's crazy what you find out years later.

Why are you saying passamo. Maybe it's not that you can't get the

bigger house. Maybe you're not supposed to, But how would you know if

you don't acknowledge him in all your ways so he can direct your path before

you put that child up for adoption before you take him to planned parenthood.

And I understand there's real reasons for all kinds of stuff. All I'm saying

is, could you acknowledge God in all your ways so that he before you

pick the college you're going to. Don't go there because your friends go there,

Go there because he's assigning you. What if you at the wrong college

and your wife at the other one, and you went there for dudes you

will not be friends with six years from now, in all your ways,

Acknowledge Him before you play the biggest game of your career. Acknowledge him.

Can you bring me that net real quick? I just want everybody to see

this mending. I never thought of it as manly until I understood that this

is the type of people that Jesus picked. He picked people who would take

nets and they would throw them out. And then if something came to cut

pieces of the net, to destroy pieces of the net, to break the

tithes of the net, these men would have to be still enough to see

where the breach was. And it's not that many of us don't know how

many of us are too busy to even pay attention. It's when it's disconnected

and it doesn't look big now. But the truth of the matter is is

one week place leads to another week place leads to another week place. And

we're growing up generationally with holes what we were meant to catch a whole person

could slip through. How many people have slipped through your net? How many

relationships have slipped through your net? How many conversations could change the trajectory of

every holiday y'all ever have. From here on out, stop lying, Tell

the truth, because people are slipped through the net of your life. Mending

men. A prophesied this message is going to start a revolution of men that

take their space, that do not lead from the back, but we will

lead from the front. We will be the prayer warriors in our home.

We will be the men who set things in order, not with the strong

arm and a hard voice, but with tender compassion and love. We will

be the men that men I feel the power of God. We will speak

life into our daughters and speak virtue into our sons. We will esteem our

wives and our women and our sisters. We will be men of valor,

men of war. Don't you come in my house, devil. We won't

passively sit by. We will wage war on the enemy. I believe that

there is a season in this church coming. There will be more men serving.

Oh, y'all need mist it, More men saying no, no,

no no. They may not have a father, but they will have a

father figure. I'm gonna go serve in the children's I'm gonna be in the

parking lot. I'm on the security team. I'm worshiping. I wish that

all men would lift up holy hands in worship. I'm undignified. You was

out there going crazy. I can't control myself when I start talking about the

Father who loves me. We will be men that cry. We will be

men that apologize. We will be men who take responsibility, will be men

who let our yes be yes and our no be no. We will be

mending men for every man staying in this place. I feel like this is

the beginning of a new era, because there will be men that deal with

they damage everybody. Say first, don't let your wife be the first one

to sign up for counseling. She been begging you to go talk. I

ain't gonna talk nobody. I don't know me, nobody knows you. You

don't even know you. Why do you feel the way you feel? You

don't know. It was old white ladies that helped me. I say that

because I want to break every stereotype, as you know what a black man

don't. But everybody knows what emotions are, and everybody knows what it is

to be oppressed and suppressed at some level. It was older white women that

helped this big braided black man. I just want to let you know that

there's no right way to do this. This is about progression, my perfection.

Maybe y'all do need to go to family counseling. Maybe for Christmas this

year everybody gets counseling and y'all playing, but them, Jordan's not making nothing

better. Them iPhones have not changed anything. It's just taking you further apart.

They got an Xbox and they gonna x you out of their lives.

But what would happen if we became mending men? Sons, You may have

to go and start the conversation with your father. He wasn't given the tools.

He doesn't even know how to say I'm sorry. But you could become

what he wasn't. You could be a mending man. He could look at

you like I want to be like him when I grow up. I want

to tell you a story where I felt very inadequate. I'm going to be

very vulnerable right here. Me and my wife went to an award show in

Las Vegas earlier this year and we bought this beautiful future dress. She got

our hair done, makeup done. We're headed to the award show and my

wife asked me to help her zip up this dress. The dress is expensive,

it's been tailored, it looks perfect, and in my new found on

strength, I went to pull it up and the zipper broke. Now it

wasn't one of the regular zipper breaks. It was one where it started coming

apart in the middle. You know what I'm talking about, Like you zip

it and then some of it zipped up, and you thought it all zipped

up, and then in the middle start going. So it's zipped up in

the back and it zipped up at the bottom, but the middle has all

her undergarments, everything exposed. It's ten minutes before we're supposed to be on

the red carpet. I prayed, I spoke to it, I fasted,

I did everything in that moment, laid hands on it. There was nothing

I could do and Natalie said, I'm just gonna go back to the hotel.

I was like, first off, I don't even look good without you

on the red carpet. I'm not going to this award show without you,

just the whole reason we came. I was like, all right, we're

going back to the hotel. And the Holy Spirit told me to go out

to the car. And I went out to the car and Charles was in

the car. Now I had to let my pride go at this moment because

I messed it up. It was my trying to fix it that broke it,

but I had no tools to fix it. And I was with Scott,

Charles and Cordel and I go to the car and I look around and

I was like, who can help me? Scott cannot help me in this

situation. I looked at Cordel. I was like, Cordell does not have

what I need. And I looked at Charles and I said, Charles,

bro, do you know how to sea? And I was expecting to like,

nah, bro, And he said, my granny is Stale taught me

how to sew. And I said, I need you come quick. I

felt like Batman, come quick me. Charles and Natalie are in the women's

bathroom of this establishment, being loud enough so that no women would come in

there with us, and Charles takes a needle and thread and while I was

standing on the sidelines, begins to mend Natalie into the dress. Now watch,

I'm sitting there, and all I could do was cheer for him,

encourage him, tell Natalie it was gonna be okay. But he was a

mending man. I literally watched another man put his hands close to my wife's

butt, and I didn't care because it was fixing something that I broke.

Now watch, now, watch my watch and I watch. I have pictures

of it. Natalie's joy begin to come back. We're in this bathroom and

I'm watching my brother do something that he never probably intended to do to his

pastor, mend her into this dress. And I'm looking at him do this,

and Natalie look at her face over there on the side. She's crying.

He's like, uh, thank you, and she looks good in that

dress. But watch this, watch this, watch this, watch this.

We get it to the red carpet and everybody is taking pictures of me and

Natalie. Everybody it. They did not know that ten minutes earlier, what

was completely damaged and exposing what would have kept her off of the place she

was supposed to be. Until she had a manned man that knew how to

mend, she would have been exposed. And I dare say there are too

many children and women that are exposed because men have not committed to learning how

to mend. The one thing that I know about Charles and the one thing

that I know about men who mend is on the red carpet, nobody was

thinking Charles, he was clapping for him. Nobody even knew except me and

Natalie. Sometimes men who mend don't get mentioned. It won't be about the

credit on this next one, guys. It'll be about the outcome. The

outcome which she was on the red carpet confident. It's not until months later,

when I'm being vulnerable that the man who mended gets mentioned. You're gonna

have to lead and they may not applaud. You're gonna have to go first,

and they may steal talk back, But it's about the outcome, not

the recognition. Today, if you're a man in this room or you're watching

online, know that you want to be a man who is taught by God.

How to mend. And you need the men your relationship with him,

or you need to you know you need to mend a relationship with somebody else,

or you know you're called to mend relationships between God and other people.

I want to ask you to do something huge. I want you to come

to this altar right now. I want you to take a step of faith,

and I want you to come. I don't care who you are,

how much money you make. Old ladies, you should be clapping and shouting.

I want to pray for you. Come on, as they're coming,

Come on, come on. We tear them down all the time, we

tell them they ain't nothing all the time. But let's thank God right now

for men who are deciding to mend. I feel the presence of God,

fellas, that's more coming. I see you. I see you in more

than I see you. God sees you. He knows what we've been through.

He knows how we've had to try to white knuckle our weight. I

need women to be praying right now. He knows the abuse that happened,

he knows the things we've never said to nobody. I'm looking in your eyes.

There's stuff we ain't told nobody. He knows the perversion that's in there,

the years, the months, he knows. He knows our body count

come on, our wife might not even he knows all of it. And

yet he still looks at you and says, son, mighty man of God,

man after my own heart, who me yes you today? Man,

I don't want us to come to this alter and pride, the one thing

God cannot refuse as a broken and contrite heart. I don't care how many

guns you have. I don't care how much money in your bank. You

cannot protect your heart without God. What happens when men men, we all

win? Oh God, y'all didn't even hear me. When men men,

everybody needs well. I don't got to prove myself to nobody. But I

can walk in meekness and make the decisions that are gonna benefit me. When

I can control my body, when I can walk in purity, when I

can give as much time to my faith as I do fantasy football. I'm

talking about real stuff, y'all. Everything in here depends on where we stand.

Many of our ladies are doing too much work because we've abdicated our role.

If you want to be the man there and be the man. She

can't. She wasn't fashioned to. It's built in your DNA to provide.

That's why the enemy has come against your confidence. I can't leave no business.

I can't. Yes you can, Yes, you can do everything God's

called you to do. Well, how do I know if it's God?

How do my kids know it's me? They spend time with me. The

only way you know his voice is by being with him while he's speaking.

How do I know his voice by his word? Some of us need to

commit to just reading the Bible. Figure out how I get his word hidden

in my heart. Some of us are dealing with same sex attractions. Yes

I said it, But that abuse that happened to you, or that feeling

or that urge that was that was affirmed by somebody because you weren't protecting.

God's not scared of that. He's right here with you in it, and

neither are we. Today as a church, we're gonna pray for men and

I'm believing. Yeah, I stopped the whole sermon series just to talk to

y'all, And there's probably another five hundred brothers attached to each one of y'all

that should have been here. We share clips with our boys. Highlights with

our boys. When do we start sharing healing? If every man at this

altar would would you just lift your hands. It's a sign of surrender,

And could everybody else stand up and just stretch your hands this way? Mm.

Father, I've spoken with the authority you've given me today as a man

who is committed to mending today for every man that's young and old, white

and black, generation to generation, watching online or in the room. God,

I'm asking you to do heart surgery on us. Father, do what

no narcotic could do, Do what no sex could do. Do Father,

what no amount of money could do. Could you please mend our hearts?

Could you, please, Father God, return the sons back to their father.

Father? Would you do us even like the prodigal Father? God?

Would you please accept us? Even though we've been in the pigs pen God,

many of us mentally, emotionally, spiritually, we've been out away from

you. But God, today we repent, and all that means is we

turn back to you and thank you for your grace and your mercy, who's

been looking for us the whole time. God, Today I thank you that

I am talking to mended men. Father, I thank you that you will.

You'll heal the deep places, the anger, the rage, the hurt,

the frustration, the pain, the pornography, God, the passivity Father,

the insecurity, God, the abandonment. I got a camp out right

there. I pray against the orphaned spirit over every man of God, the

men who felt like they did not have protection. They were exposed to early

Father, that they didn't have anybody that was actually looking out for them.

Father, you are not like our earthly father's Father. You're better than even

if we had a good father. You're better than our earthly fathers. And

today, Father God, for every man that has felt like they've been abandoned

and it's been them against the world, thank you Father, that they would

know that you were for them, You were with them, won't leave them

or for sake you, Father, help us to acknowledge you in all of

our ways. And God, we will obey when you direct our path.

Thank you that mend and men will rise up all over the world. Thank

You that we will take our place in the house of God and God today

as men, maybe for the first time, we are gonna praise you for

the work that is already starting in our lives. If every man in this

place could lift your voice, clap your hands and give God praise. Why

don't we all join with them? Holl helujaa enemy the devil is scared of

a praising man. The devil is scared of a man that takes his authority.

God, we are are you? I'm telling you, men of God.

You're about to get your voice back. Oh I felt that thing.

You're about to get your voice back. You're not gonna have to say much,

but what you do say you will have a thority. You're gonna have

dominion. Every man in here say I got dominion. Don't say it like

you mean it. Don't let the enemy ever lie to you will get You

are not a product of your circumstance. You affect your circumstances. This week,

God's gonna give you instructions. Don't play like he not speaking to you.

Oh man, that must have been the taco bell. Like taco bell

will tell you a couple of things, but it won't tell you to write

a letter. Some of you need to write a letter. Some of you

need to apologize to people that was back in college and you don't need a

response for them. You need to get it out of you. Some of

you. There's a hard conversation you need to have with your wife. It's

real quiet at that point. Well, what if everything messes up? God

would rather take your broken and put it back together, then try to act

like it's not broken. I believe in you, every man, under the

sound of my voice. You need community. I just feel alone because you

decide to be You're gonna walk past all these men to get out of here

today, and you just gonna you know, we all have people crying up

here. This is the time. What's up? Bro? Man? Nice?

What's your name? Broro? Where are you from? Be regular?

It's not being weird. We're not in competition with each other. We complete

each other. If all of us right here just supported each other, we

wouldn't need nobody else's business. And oh God, if you would just And

the beautiful thing about this is every ethnicity, every age group. God has

made this place a place where men can take their rightful place. But we

don't lead with our fifth Star words. We lead with our actions. Look

at the way that I So you may have to start being discimals. You

want your wife to start working out, you start working out. No,

DoD, I'm not the one that needed she needed you. I'm gonna have

to do We're gonna have to get together and do a whole situation. You're

the leader, work out for three months and don't say nothing. I move

my gym to my garage to lead my family. I needed her to see

me sweating and not say nothing. I come in here, Hey baby,

what you doing making a silence? You want one? Just trying to to

keep the bread damn. And then one day she said, I'm I'm gonna

come out there with you. It's in their DNA. Don't lead with your

talk, lead with your walls. Stop buying all the other you start saving.

H you know she's gonna keep spending, keep saving, you know,

like do what you know. Don't blame prepare you know Christmas is coming up.

You lead men of God without women lead. You ain't got no money

for a down payment, but you dripped out. Lead. Now hide scriptures

in your heart that you're gonna tell your kids one day. Start being a

man who worships. There shouldn't just be tea teenagers and women at the altar.

I'm talking about Sunday morning. The men is at the front, Like

where are we at? What song we singing today, Wait on the Lord.

I like that one. I mean, bring y'all swag to it.

It don't gotta be weak, it just gotta be meek. I feel some

What would happen if every church, every gym, every auto parts store,

every business had men of God that were an assignment from the King to take

up their space and dominion in arts and entertainment and the barbering industry, in

movies and music and government. What if and then we all came together to

worship on Sundays and worship the God who gave us the ms, and gave

us the property, and restored us back to our relationships with our brothers,

sons, fathers. It's going to be a revolution mended. Men. If

you're in this room, whether you're a woman or a man at the altar

or watching that home, and you've never accepted Jesus as your personal Lord and

savior, today, I want to give you that opportunity. Nobody leaving,

nobody moving, will be home in five minutes, or we'll be leaving to

go home in five minutes. But this is the most important part of the

service. You can mend your relationship with God right now, right now the

chasm has been there, and God saying, Yo, this is the easiest

part. Right here, by faith, you can mend one of those three.

Right now. You're in this room and you've been doing stuff your own

way, been going your own direction, and you need to say, God,

I want to make it right with you. I want to mend.

I want you to put me back together again spiritually. All you have to

do on account of three is lift your hand and were gonna say a prayer

together. And I don't want pride to keep anybody watching or in this room

from making this decision. Something of y'all need to rededicate your life. Today

is the day that everything changes. I'm drawing a line in the sand.

I will not be the same man I was before I came in here.

Today's your day. One. You're making the greatest decision of your life.

Two. It took me from being a pornography at it from somebody who was

a manipulator and back. It didn't make me perfect, but it made me

progress. Your name will be written in the Lamb's Book of Life with faith

all over the world. Three. Just lift your hand, man or woman.

I see you, my brother, I see you. I see you,

my sister. I see you. Come on, y'all, I see

you. I see you. I see you. Greatest decision you could ever

make it. I see you. But more than me seeing you, God

sees you. Hey. We're a family at Transformationing Church. Everybody lift your

hands and let's just pray this together. Say God, thank you for sending

Jesus to mend relationship today. I give you my life. I believe you

lived, you died, and you rose again with all power. Changed me,

renew me, mend me, transform me. I'm yours in Jesus' name.

Amen, Welcome to the Kingdom. Oh, come on, y'all,

let's celebrate. We were just mended back to him. Hey, listen,

every man up here, everybody, I made that decision. There's a QR

code on the screen that's gonna come up. I want you to text it.

We want to give you some steps. Man of God. I need

you in this church. I need you helping me serve. I need you.

I need listen. We can't do this without you. I'm not perfect,

neither am I, but I need as long as your breathing and you're

dedicated to moving forward. We got too many more men to go reach.

We need you. So let's make a decision this week that we're gonna be

men that show up in the House of God and not just come and sneak

in. We're gonna show up those kids up there. They need us,

and this is a new day for us. A man, I love you.

I just feel like every man, y'all, hug somebody. I know

this is weird, but man up and hug somebody. Man. Ladies,

y'all should be clapping for this right here. Hey, if you need prayer

for anything, are altar team's coming up. I need y'all to share this

video with everybody. If you love a man, if you know a man,

if you want a man. Now, ladies, there's some single men

up here. You need to take your cell phone out and start snapping and

go home and just start praying. Put them on your prayer wall. I

love you. Until next week, y'all, go out and live a transform

life. I love y'all so much. Thank you for joining us today.

If you said that prayer and accept it Jesus into your heart, it's the

best decision you could ever make. We want to celebrate with you, and

we have some tools to help you on your journey. Tech saved to A

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