Freedom in Forgiveness | John Challinor

Hopefully what happens in this room is you have

a conversation starter that lights a fire in

you that you leave here and it's lit such a fire

that it makes it to lunch, right? Because if

it makes it to lunch and you talk about it at

lunch or the drive home, there's a chance it'll

make it to your Monday. And if you have a conversation

on Monday, there's a chance it just might make

it to your life group. But the idea is that these

conversations we have in here, they matter, that

they should start something in you that you now

have a conversation with God, with the others

around you, and you begin to grow out of that.

And so last week we started this collection called

Last Words. What kind of summarizing Last Words

is this, that if you are God and you wait thousands

of years to show up in person, you show up in

human form, right? You've been showing up in

other forms the whole time, but now you're in

human form in the person of Jesus and you now

get nailed to a cross and you have seven statements

left to say. They got to be pretty important

words. Right? Like you're on the cross and the

idea of the cross was that you suffocate, that

you run out of air. And what happens when you

speak is you're actually using air to do so.

So when Jesus is on the cross and he pushes himself

up and he is going to make a statement, I don't

know about you, but that seems like a pretty

important thing that Jesus is about to say. And

here's how this works. If it's important to Jesus,

it should be important to us. And so we're looking

at those statements over these weeks going, what

mattered to Jesus in those moments? Now this

week, we hit a different topic than last week.

We hit a different conversation than last week.

But maybe a simple way to start it is this. Have

you ever, have you ever been hurt by another

human being? Have you ever been mistreated by

another human being? Have you ever been falsely

accused by another human being? Have you ever

not been listened to and discounted by another

human being? Have you ever been isolated? And

intentionally left out by people. Have you ever

been abused by someone else? Have you ever been

made fun of by someone else? If your answer is

no to that, then you clearly never went to middle

school. I'm just saying. Here's the thing. One

thing we have in common is that's all of us.

You're not that unique. And that is painful to

say for an Enneagram 4, that you're not that

unique. How do I know that? Because you live

on a broken planet with broken people. And guess

what broken people do? They hurt one another.

And so the chances are you were born, right?

You lived in some form of human community. And

inside of some of you were like, is there people

that are raised by animals in here? Okay, so

you were raised by a human community. And guess

what happened? People hurt you. That's what people

do. That's what we do to one another. And what

I really care about today and what I really hope

that you walk away with is what happens in the

midst of those hurts. Because there are different

responses. In fact, Jesus tells a story, tells

a parable in Mark chapter 12. It says, Jesus

Mark 12 · chapter mention

then began to speak to them in parables. A man

planted a vineyard. He put a wall around it,

dug a pit for it, for the wine press, and built

a watchtower. Then he rented the vineyard to

some farmers and moved to another place. So I'm

not, never planted a vineyard. I'm fascinated

by it and understand that it is a lot of work,

that there's a lot of things that are temperamental

to it that you have to navigate to be able to

get that to grow, right? So within that, the

story's telling us that somebody else planted

the vineyard. They did the hard work of planting.

Then they did the hard work of the hard labor

of protecting by putting a wall around this vineyard.

And then on top of that, they dug a space for

the wine press, which is also incredibly difficult

work. And then they dug a well and built a watchtower.

Everything you needed to succeed. within the

vineyard, within producing a harvest, everything

had already been provided by somebody else. Then

that person rents it to this other person. Now,

the person walking in who, the farmer walking

in that it's been rented to, everything is done.

All you gotta do is not mess it up, right? All

you gotta do is live inside of what's there and

it will produce fruit and produce a harvest.

It carries on then in verse two, at harvest time.

The person that rented it, he sent a servant

to the tenants to collect from them some of the

fruit of the vineyard. So again, like really,

really natural part of the process. Wait, you

had a great harvest. I'm going to send a servant

and he's going to collect some of the fruit of

that harvest. You're going to share essentially.

Verse three, but they seized him. They seized

the servant, beat him and sent him away empty

handed. Then he sent another servant to them.

They struck this man on the head and treated

him shamefully. He sent still another, and that

one they killed. He sent many others, some of

them they beat, and others they killed. He had

one left to send, a son whom he loved. He sent

him last of all, saying, They will respect my

son. But the tenants said to one another, This

is the heir. Come, let's kill him and the inheritance

will be ours. So they took him out and killed

him and threw him out of the vineyard. What then

will the owner of the vineyard do? What then

will this man who's been completely mistreated,

gross injustice, what's going to happen? The

same story is captured in Matthew 21. And right

after that question, it says this. He, so this

is the crowd speaking, he will bring those wretches

to a wretched end, they replied. And he will

rent the vineyard to other tenants who will give

him his share of the crop at harvest. So response

number one to grave injustice. Response number

one to... The idea of someone harming you and

hurting you, mistreating you, and then going

to the point of actually killing those you love.

Response number one is, man, those wretches better

get what they deserve, right? So now the religious

people are like, give them what they deserve.

They deserve to die, right? What's fascinating

is if you follow this story further and you read

on. all of a sudden the people are like, yeah,

they need to die and give it to someone else.

They realize, oh, we are the people that have

been doing that. Because the story is about Israel.

The story is about God who has given everything

that is needed for a harvest and he gave it to

this nation and he provided for them and they're

wanting to take it from themselves. And so they're

killing prophets and then eventually Jesus shows

up. But isn't it fascinating that our response

to being wronged, is they need to get theirs.

Isn't it interesting that the natural response,

even though we're broken and we hurt a whole

bunch of people, the natural response is make

sure they get what they deserve. We have a moment

in Jesus's life where we get to see Jesus's response.

And in Mark chapter 15, the context is this,

Mark 15 · chapter mention

that Jesus has been on trial. And there's a moment

where what's common practice is they would release

a prisoner as a part of the celebration. And

there's one prisoner, Barabbas, who is a known

criminal. And the governor is essentially going,

hey, you can have this bad guy or you can have

Jesus who I find nothing wrong with. What do

you want me to do? To which the crowd screams,

crucify him, crucify him, crucify him. Give us,

we want Jesus to be put to death. That's the

last thing that's said, and then this happens.

Verse 16. The soldiers led Jesus away into the

palace, that is the praetorium, and called together

the whole company of soldiers. They put a purple

robe on him, then twisted together a crown of

thorns and set it on him. And they began to call

out to him, Hail! king of the Jews. Again and

again, they struck him on the head with a staff

and spit on him. Falling on their knees, they

paid homage to him. And when they had mocked

him, they took off the purple robe and put his

own clothes on him and they led him out to crucify

him. Just so we're clear, We're going to slow

down and understand what's actually happening.

Because Jesus has now been led by soldiers into

what they call the Praetorium, which was the

center of the operations of the Romans. So sometimes

that was in the center of an encampment. Sometimes

that was in the palace, in the inmost part of

the palace. But what scripture is telling us

is that Jesus is led away and he is led into

the center of the enemy. That he is brought into

the center of what he is opposed to. And then

it says that all of the soldiers come in. And

so now you have surrounding Jesus, you have these

Roman soldiers who were designed. By training

and through life, that they would inflict as

much pain as possible. That they were experts

in how to kill somebody. They were experts in

how to torture you. And so what we're told is

he's brought into the middle, he's isolated,

he's alone. And as he's in the middle of this

crowd then, it says that they take a purple robe

and they put it on him. Why purple? Purple had

to do with royalty. What are they mimicking,

mocking in this moment is you said you're a king.

You realize who's in the middle of them, you

guys? This is God. So not just a king, the king.

And he's in the middle being mocked. By his creation.

And so they put a robe on him. It says that they

twisted together a crown of thorns and set it

on him. That sounds so nice, doesn't it? That

they just set it on him. I don't think from everything

I know about Roman soldiers, they weren't that

gentle. But I also know this. If you've ever

been around a thorn bush, you don't have to press

in very hard for it to cut through your skin.

And so they take a crown. of thorns and they

place it on Jesus's head, which is one of the

most sensitive parts of your entire body, the

top of your head. And as the thorns begin to

sink in, blood begins to drip. It says, and they

began to call out to him, hail king of the Jews,

you have the robe, you have the crown, therefore

you are the king. And they begin to mock him.

And can you imagine the noise? of an entire encampment

of soldiers that are now making fun of the person

in the middle. Again and again, they struck him

on the head. Okay, when scripture says something

twice, so when the words repeated again and again,

it's emphasizing it. Because it needs us to get

the emphasis again and again, repeatedly. Jesus

is now struck where? On the head. Where's the

crown of thorns? It's on his head. So what is

happening is the staff comes down every single

time. What is it hitting? The crown of thorns

that are being driven deeper into the scalp of

Jesus. But again and again. And then it says,

I struck him on the head with a staff and spit

on him. Is there anything more degrading than

when another human being chooses to spit into

the face of another human being? I mean, we don't

even accept that in things like football. Let

alone God in human form now surrounded by soldiers

that are all spitting on him as they are hitting

him repetitively in the head. Falling on their

knees, they paid homage to him. Again, just mocking

him. When they had mocked him, they took off

the purple robe and put on his own clothes, put

his own clothes on him. Then they led him out

to crucify him. The next part of the story we

pick up on, we find Jesus on the cross. At this

point, his back would have been torn open. There

would have been blood dripping down the cross.

The wood would have become stained red, so to

speak. His arms would have been stretched out.

The nails would have been impaled. His feet,

similar. And now in this moment, in this moment,

with everything we just read, now on a cross,

which remember, on a cross, every single breath

you're fighting for. So at this point, for Jesus

to speak, for Jesus to speak means that he is

physically having to do something to speak. And

instead of using his breath just to sustain life,

he's now speaking specifically. and allowing

us to get an insight into what matters to Jesus

and what matters to him matters to us. And in

chapter 23 of Luke, verse 34, it says this, Jesus

said, Father, forgive them, for they do not know

what they are doing. You got the response of

the religious leaders that are like, no, no,

no, make those wretches pay. You've got Jesus

who actually has the authority and the power

and in that moment could have cooked everything

and everyone all around the cross. That at one

point he goes, you know, I've got legions of

angels that can invade this moment. And by legions

of angels, I don't think they were little cherubs

that flew around with arrows. Like I think they're

terrifying. I think when you read scripture,

what's the natural response of humans to an angel?

Fear. So which is why the angel always says,

don't be afraid. Thanks, that helped. But the

beauty of this moment is you've got God in this

moment. What does he care about? Father. So it's

relational. He's in prayer. His relationship

with God in the midst of the cross, in the midst

of the suffering, in the midst of being mistreated,

what matters to him is his relationship with

the Father. And then he goes, Father, forgive

them. We were chatting this week on Tuesday in

our teaching prep meeting, and we were talking

about how it works for us, right? We pray and

we're like, Father, forgive them. Because I know

you'll get them later. Father, forgive them,

but I can't wait until your judgment hits them

and they're going to get what they deserve, right?

Like we pray forgiveness, but we're actually

going, yeah, and you're going to get yours when

Jesus shows up. That's not what you see here.

It's not, it's not, Father, I want to forgive

them. No, it's not that. It's Father. Forgive

them. Remove judgment from them. Release them

from what they have done. This is a spiritual

conversation. I think we miss this so often when

it comes to forgiveness. We think forgiveness

is about me and you, and it's about, oh, well,

if you say sorry, then I'll forgive you. That's

not how forgiveness works. That's not what you've

been set free to do. That's not why you've been

forgiven. You've been forgiven that you would

forgive. And the act of forgiveness for you is

between you and God to release. And here's what's

amazing, that as Jesus is there and he goes,

Father, forgive them, he's releasing them from

future judgment. I love that it says, Father,

forgive them for they do not know what they are

doing. There's this ignorance and wrongdoings.

You find it in scripture in Acts chapter three,

Acts chapter seven, Acts chapter 13. It's repeated,

Acts 13 · chapter mention

right? When the story is told of Jesus, it talks

about that there's a group of people that were

doing wrong that didn't know they were doing

wrong, right? It's over and over in scripture

that you see that when somebody is involved in

wrongdoing, a lot of times it's in ignorance

and they don't even know they're doing it. I

wonder how many times you're all spun up. We

get so spun up, right, that this person did it

and we've got this whole backstory of who they've

talked to and what they did and it was premeditated.

I wonder how many times that they actually did

it in ignorance and didn't even know what they

did to you. And you've walked around and you

are imprisoned in a cage because you have not

forgiven them because how could they do that

to me? Right? And you're walking around in this

cage. You've imprisoned yourself in your own

unforgiveness. What does forgiveness do? Forgiveness

actually releases you. We think it's about them.

Oh, I can't forgive them. That's like me letting

them go. That's like them getting off scot -free.

No, you know what forgiveness does? It releases

you from the cage. Another way to put it is this,

that it's like setting down the poison. That

I'm no longer going to drink poison and expect

the other person to die. That's what unforgiveness

is, right? That I keep drinking this bitter unforgiveness

and I expect you to suffer for it. And what we've

been given is this moment by God that he goes,

no, no, no. You can forgive them and actually

release your own soul. You know what's crazy

about resentment? It's been proven that people

that hold on to resentments, meaning anger, bitterness,

unforgiveness, people that hold on to it, they

have more anxiety in their life. They have more

stress in their life. And on top of all that,

their physical health is in worse shape. All

by holding resentment. Why? Because you were

never meant to hold it. I mean, how many of you?

Come to church today. Hey, could you sign me

up? Like, where do I go to sign up for more anxiety,

more stress, and worse health? Oh, actually,

you just go into the lobby and sign up for our

unforgiveness list. You just choose not to forgive

them, and you'll be fine. You'll have more anxiety

and more stress. It's going to be great. You'll

have worse health. Nobody would choose that,

and yet what you've been given by God is the

same thing that Jesus has been given. The Father

forgives them. They don't know what they are.

Father, release them. And here's the thing. That

list we started with, in this moment, Jesus has

experienced it all worse than you ever will in

your life. And what is the model that he's laying

down for us? That you would what? Father, forgive

them. They knew what they were doing. You still

got to forgive them. I mean, it's pretty fascinating,

right? Because we're so fickle, you guys. We're

so fickle. You ever watch a little kid who's

figuring out that if they don't say sorry, they

have some kind of control? You ever see that?

Like, they're like, I'm not going to say sorry,

right? Then they're just holding it. I wonder

how God looks at us. We're now 65, and he's like,

oh, that's cute. I wonder how many times God

looks at us and goes, well, they're 65 and still

don't have it. Let's give them 30 more years.

I don't want to live to 95. I'm just telling

you. Like, if I can figure it out before then,

take me home. So many times we're caught up and

I'm choosing to harm myself by not giving forgiveness,

right? I'm choosing to harm myself. All because

I expect. I have expectations of you and how

you will act. I have expectations of you that

you are going to say those words, I am sorry.

Can I tell you what was happening for Jesus?

Verse 34, Jesus said, Father, forgive them. So

as he's saying it, they do not know what they're

doing. And, and what did the soldiers do? They

divided up his clothes by casting lots. As he

is forgiving them, the soldiers are going, we're

getting paid. How are we doing it? We're dividing

up his clothes. As they are being forgiven, they

are essentially continuing to mock him, continuing

to take advantage of him. Verse 35, the people

stood watching and the rulers even sneered at

him. They said he saved others, let him save

himself if, you wanna know the greatest gamble

in the Bible? It's in this word if, right? He

saved others if he is God's Messiah. Let him

save himself if he is God's Messiah. That's a

pretty big gamble. But what are they doing? They're

mocking him. So as he's there on the cross, Father,

forgive them. What are they doing back? They're

not saying sorry. In fact, they're continuing

the very actions that he's asking for forgiveness

for. It's continuing on, but that's not how this

works. Your soul being free is me with the Father

going, you know what? Forgive them because I

don't want to be held captive by what they're

doing. I don't want to be held captive by what

they're done, what's done to me. The soldiers

who hadn't had enough yet also came up and mocked

him. So the mocking is continuing. They offered

him wine vinegar and said, if, there's that if

again, that gamble, right? If you are the king

of the Jews, save yourself. There was a written

notice above him which read, this is the king

of the Jews. So not only are we verbally mocking

you, not only have we physically abused you,

but we've also put a sign over you so that anybody

come by can make fun of you as they go by too.

And what is Jesus' response? Father, forgive

them for they don't know what they're doing.

You know how silly I sound when I'm like, but

God, you don't know. He's like, I think I do.

I think I do. But God, this is such a big thing.

Like, yeah, I know. I know, son. It's a big thing.

But also experience more. Not to belittle yours,

but to show you that you can forgive even that.

A couple of quick thoughts on forgiveness. If

you're taking notes, the first one is this, that

you have to recognize and accept the pain. You

have to recognize and accept the pain. What I

mean by that is don't minimize the pain. Pain

is pain. And you are hurt, and that's okay. but

I can forgive and be in pain. Those are not mutually

exclusive. I can forgive and need to heal. We're

talking about that in our teaching prep this

week, that just because I forgive you doesn't

mean I don't have to go through this gradual

healing process, right? Like there's still healing

that needs to be done even if I forgive you in

the moment. But second thing would be this, that

a thought on forgiveness is you've got to choose

it. You have to choose to forgive. It's a choice

you make. You can choose to not give it and live

with the consequences, or you can choose to give

it and live with the consequences. I'm just saying

that if it's good enough for Jesus to forgive,

then it's good enough for me to forgive. If the

best way to live free is even in the midst of

people mistreating me, even in the midst of things

going wrong, the best way to live is to forgive,

then guess what? I'm going to forgive. And you

have the choice. The choice sits with you. The

next thing I would say is let go of expectations.

Let go of expectations. When you make the choice

to forgive, don't put any expectations on that

person to respond a specific way, to do certain

things, because they may continue to mock you.

They may continue to cause you pain. They may

continue to say things that hurt. And you just

have to know. You just have to know. It's not

about them. It's about me and God. And it's about

me and my standing and how I'm living my life.

And I'm not going to let you control my life

anymore. And so I choose to forgive. I let go

of the expectations of what you will do with

it. You have to release resentments. That means

the anger that you've been holding onto since

middle school because somebody mistreated you,

you gotta let it go. The nickname you were given

in high school, the broken marriage you experienced

as a young adult, you gotta let it go. You have

to release the resentment. Why? Because the resentment

is toxic to you. You were never meant to carry

it. And as you release resentment, it's your

choice, right? But it's gradual, you guys. It's

gradual. As you release resentment, as you choose

to forgive, it's not gonna be something that

is a one and done. It might be, praise God if

it is. But what it might mean is you sit in here

and you go, Father, forgive them. I'm releasing

it today. And you get to tomorrow morning and

you're like, why am I so spun up again? And you

have to go, Father, forgive them. I'm choosing

to put it down. And you get to lunch and you're

spinning again. Father, forgive them. Here's

what happens. It's a gradual process. And over

time, your soul changes. Your soul changes. Last

thought on forgiveness is this. Set healthy boundaries.

Just because you forgive does not mean you don't

set boundaries with that person in your life.

Just because you forgive, there's this lie out

there that, well, if you've forgiven, then everything

goes back to, no, it doesn't. No, it doesn't.

You get to set the boundaries. Boundaries are

healthy, and boundaries set expectations for

the relationship, and that makes the relationship

healthy, and so setting boundaries is appropriate.

One last thought. And first, Peter. Chapter two,

verse 21, Peter's writing to the church and he's

writing about suffering for doing good. And he

says, to this, to this, those of you that are

followers of Jesus, to this you were called.

You wanna know the calling on your life? One

of the callings? That you were called because

Christ suffered for you. So what Jesus suffered

for you, you were called to what? He left you

an example that you should follow in his footsteps.

What does it mean to be like Jesus? To look like

Jesus? To live like Jesus? It means that I follow

the example that Jesus set. What was the example

that Jesus set? That in the midst of being hurt,

Father, forgive them. I'm letting it go. And

so I got one question for you as you hold your

communion elements. Hopefully you got these on

the way in. I love that you're holding the representation

of the body and the blood of Jesus, the things

that purchased your forgiveness. This is why

you're free. It's what he's done for you. And

here's what I love about it, is as you sit in

this moment, the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit

wants to have a conversation with you. Who do

you? need to forgive today. Before you leave

this room, here's the thing about church. Sometimes

we come in here and we think churches, we sing

some good songs, we get some encouragement, right?

Like, and then we leave here. That's all true.

But the way you're transformed, because that's

what this is supposed to be, is you practice

what we do. And so who, who, who, Do you need

to forgive today? As you hold the very thing

that has bought your forgiveness, a representation

of Jesus, who do you need to forgive? So the

next moments are yours, conversation with the

Holy Spirit, and then we'll take it all together.

When Jesus sat with his friends for that last

meal, I love that he took ordinary bread and

he knew, he knew, he knew what was coming. He

knew what his body would entail. That you realize

without his body, there was no place to put your

sin. That his body is what carried your sin,

your wrongdoing, the things that nobody knows

about. That his body carried them, carried your

sin, carried my sin, so that it could be nailed

to a cross, so that it could be beaten, and so

he could eventually die. And with his followers,

he goes, don't forget. Don't forget. And so whenever

you get together, get some bread. And remember,

I was here and I died for your freedom. And so

he handed him bread and he said, take, eat, do

this in remembrance of me. He took a cup of wine.

And he talks about how in his blood, there was

forgiveness for sins. You realize without Jesus

shedding his blood, you are not forgiven today.

But because we have a savior who went to the

cross, because we have a savior that bled the

cross red, you are forgiven. And the punishment

was laid on him that was yours. And so he took

wine and he goes, don't forget you guys. I have

to bleed. But in the midst of bleeding, Father,

forgive them because they don't know what they're

doing. And so he handed him a cup and he said,

take drink, do this in remembrance of me. God,

we are so grateful. Today, we just say thank

you. Thank you for being a God who has purchased

our forgiveness, has purchased our freedom. God,

that we sit here today completely forgiven so

that we in turn can forgive others. There's such

hope inside a message. There's such hope inside

a reality. That God, we do not have to live with

unforgiveness today because you are our living

hope. We stand firm on the foundation. That our

living hope, the person of Jesus, has conquered

death and brought life. And so we simply, in

an act of worship, say thank you. In an act of

worship, declare that you are our living hope.

In an act of worship, we release and we say,

Father, forgive them. Whether they knew it or

not, would you forgive them today? Thank you

for grace and mercy. Thank you for loving us

first. And everybody said, Amen.