Can I Still Come Home? // Triggered (Part 6) // Charles Metcalf

Welcome to Transformation Church Podcast, where we represent God to

the lost and found for transformation in Christ. We're so

glad you're here and wherever you're listening from, we believe

God will transform your life. Do today's message?

Alrighty week, We've been in this series for a mile.

I had a corny joke, Jackie. This joke is for you.

I think this is week like six or seven of

the series. I don't know.

Ha ha ha.

Yeah, that's all I had.

This is why I don't appreciate youth ministring more because

I'm officially the old guy that does the corny jokes.

And so I'm like every time I go in there,

I get super nervous. I like ask Hi, I'm like, Yo,

what should I be saying? And he tries to explain

to me what stuff means and what I should be saying,

and I'm like, you know what, I'm just gonna go

with reading the Bible and yelling at the kids.

That's all I know.

No, we've been in this series triggered for a minute now,

and I'll be honest with you. Although obviously work here

pastor here being pastor, Michael talked about all the sermons

that's like one of the main things that connected us

early on in ministry.

About eight and a half.

Years ago, was talking about sermons. Talking through sermons, and

even though probably eighty five percent of the time I'd

be sitting out there and knowing what's about to be said,

I don't experience them as.

Like I know what's about to happen.

I experienced them as like, Okay, what is God trying

to say to me?

What's going on?

And so I'd be listening, and a couple of weeks

ago I was listening and we were talking about, you know,

how do you avoid crashing out? What do you do

once you figure out you like in the middle of

a crash out. Last week, Pastor Michael talked about getting

corrected in the middle of the crash out, and I

was listening to these sermons.

I was like, you know, this is good, this is

really good. But what if you kind of already crashed out.

What I'm saying I was talking about, like, yeah, don't

be crashing out, man, that's terrible.

And I was like, yeah, definitely not.

But you know, let's say you did what are you

supposed to do if you've already crashed out?

What are you supposed to do.

If you already said the thing you weren't supposed to say.

You did the thing you said you were never gonna do.

I want to talk about that feeling today after you

crash out.

Now we're gonna get very serious real quick. And I

told the team, I was like, hey, shorten, my time,

were gonna get out here before twelve.

It's gonna be great. I'm just gonna say it real clear.

So because I got.

Less time, I'm gonna be more direct and just call

us on some of our stuff, because usually I would

use a lot of.

Humor and transitions.

And a lot of stuff to get y'all ready, but

we ain't got time for that.

No.

I love the craft of speaking, like I've studied this

my whole life.

I still study today.

I watch other people preach, I watch commed I do

all this stuff, and it's all really just to get

you ready to say what the Bible already says. And really,

you were supposed to be reading it this whole week,

and this is technically.

Supposed to be a reminder. But I know you ain't

that at all. And it's okay. I'm not mad at.

You, see me y'all be so impressible what preachers say,

and all they did is read the book to you.

You're like, oh my god, that's how I know you

don't read your Bible because I just be I like

open up the verse and they be.

Like, oh, that's so good. Technically you were supposed to

be reading that.

But we don't have to talk about it today.

I'm gonna talk about.

One of the most powerful five letter words I think

that sadly keeps a lot of us from doing what

we're supposed to do. And it's uh, you find it

the most after you crash out. This five letter word shame.

Shame.

See even when you say the word the whole.

Room, because that's what shamee does, takes all the good

out of anything. Shame makes you feel small, makes you

feel insignificant, It makes you feel like you're not as

legit as somebody else. Shame this feeling that I know,

if you've been alive for any amount of time, we're

all familiar with and specifically when it comes to being

triggered or crashing out. I have found myself after a

crash out, after I did something, after I said something,

this feeling starts to creep up and it seems.

To overwhelm my thinking and my ideas.

And this sermon that honestly started with a real life example.

All my sermons really come out of my real life.

And I was thinking about it, and really I was thinking, like,

what is the area that like, I'm still crashing out in?

Come on?

Because we got to be honest. Some of you all

that like, oh, I don't be crashing out. You lying,

get out here.

We know you lying. I definitely still be crashing out.

And one of them is specifically is.

With my kids.

Come on.

Somebody said, Jesus, you about crashed out.

Your kids ain't even in here.

No, but it's and here's and in two ways, I

will crash out at my kids and for my kids.

You know what I'm saying.

So it's both one of my crash outs.

I actually there's one crash out I'd be specifically looking for.

And that's how I know God ain't transformed me yet.

But we were we were at uh, this is so great.

It didn't happen at my house. It happened at the

kids at my at my mother in law's.

House, and we were there and the kids were.

Playing in the street, and you know people be driving

fast when kids is close.

And that's the one thing. If you speed by while

my kids are playing in.

The front yard, I will not know who Jesus is.

I'd be like, I'm sorry, I don't even know who

that meant.

Like, So this man drives by a fast, I'm like,

slow down.

I walked out the front door because I saw him come.

I walked out the front.

Door, was like, if he drive fast, I'm gonna scream

at him.

And he sped by.

Slow down.

He slams on his brakes. Now, some of y'all you

ain't built like this. He slammed on the brakes and

I walked up to the car.

I was like, yeah, what's up? I went like that.

I said, yeah, because you need something.

I didn't think you slammed on the brake so hard,

like you was about to do something. This is a

word for word, That's what I said. In front of

my mother in law's house.

My kids are right there. He's like, what'd you say?

I said, slow down? Why it is not even that serious.

I said, it will be that serious if you hit

one of my kids, I promise you.

He was like, I.

Did I talk crazy to it. He just looked at

me and drove by, and I just waved as he

walked off. Turned around Arlott sitting there on a scooter like.

It was like, Dad just loves you a lot.

That's all that was so. But I don't feel no

type of way about that. I'll yell at anybody about

my kids.

Really don't care.

I'll never forget this now. I'm just telling stories.

I promise I'll get to this, sir, my dad, this

is the greatest crash out of all time. I'm like,

I'm like Arlose, so I'm like six years old. I

used to raise BMX we with travel and race bikes.

And me and my cousin are playing in front of

this guy.

He had all these bikes, like these are crazy expensive bikes.

They're lined up in front of his tent. It was

a professional team.

Now me and him are throwing this ball. It goes

in between some of the bikes.

I go to pick it up and I hit one

of the bikes and it's like dominoes, like and.

These are like thousands of dollars worth of bikes. They

all fall over. Well, the guy walks up and kind

of shoves me, like hey, get out of my blah blah.

Blah, and so I'm like, I terrified.

I get on my bike.

I pedal across the hole, around the whole thing, go

for my dad. It's like, Dad, this is what hepp

I'm crying. He was like, what happened? This will show

y'all where my crash has come from.

My dad.

He gets on his bike and we both like and

I'm like behind.

Him, like, oh, something's about to go. Damn.

My dad gets off his bike and he's like, hey,

you push my son.

And he's like what He's like, dude, push my son.

He's like, well, who's your son? And he turns out

and me. I'm just like I stepped to.

His side, and he's like, well he pushed off my bikes?

No, lies, what my dad did?

He said, oh this bike? This it was these Okay.

My dad took that bike and swung it.

And the guy was like, hey, what He's like, did

he hit this bike too?

Was this another bike that he hit? Okay? Okay?

Shoot he won by one through all eight of this

man's bikes. And that was the greatest moment of my

dad's parenting saga. I got all the confidence, courage and

boldness I ever needed from watching my daddy throw them bikes.

At one time, I was like, this is incredible. Ain't

nobody messing with my dad? Now as an adult, I'm like,

probably shouldn't have done that.

But you know, I felt very safe as a kid.

But usually.

After you come down off of the crash out, you

kinda start.

Thinking about it. Who I don't know I should have

done that. Maybe I shouldn't have said that, or.

I want to talk about this word shame because I

think it's so important. Because the truth is, after you

experience a crash out, the goal is like, Okay, how

do I get back to center level headedness, Like how

do I come on something I've never gotten there?

Yes, the goal is not to stay in the crash out.

You want to come down to a normal place.

And there's a story in the Bible that we get

of a young man.

Who crashes out to Luke, chapter number fifteen.

Story is called the Prodigal Son. You've heard this story.

There's two sons, and you may not know this, but

Jesus is actually telling the story to prove two points.

He's proving to the people who relate to the prodigal

Son and The story of the son is the son

he goes up to his dad. He's like, yo, Dad,

I want all my inheritance.

Now, well, the only way he would.

Get the inheritance is if the dad was dead. What

he's pretty much saying is, hey, I wish you were dead,

Go ahead, give me the money.

Super disrespectful. But Dad's like, all right, oh, here you go,

here's your money.

Bible tells us he goes out to a different country.

He goes out to Vegas, and he just spends all

his money, goes crazy and he has no idea what

he's doing.

He spends his money.

Then a famine hits the land. He ain't got no money,

Bible tells us. His friends leave and he finds himself

in a.

Pig pen looking at the pigs food. Now, there's so much.

Cultural nuance to this story because he's talking to an

all Jewish crowd. Pigs are the most disgusting things, So

to be in the pig style is disgusting to be

looking at their because these are unclean animals in their tradition,

so he shouldn't even be around these. And so this

is the most humiliating, discouraging situation he could ever find

himself in.

He starts to ask himself the question, can I still

go home?

What's gonna happen if I try to go home, if

I try to go talk to Dad and tell him, hey, hey,

I know I spent my money.

I know I messed up. I know I made a mistake.

And it's important because we all find ourselves asking this

question after a crash out? Can I still come home?

What I mean by that is can I still step up?

And maybe you crashed out with your spouse? Can I

still step back up and be the spouse I want

to be? After you crash out with a coworker, you're like, man,

can I still come back and be the leader I

need to be?

Can I still step up?

And maybe you've crashed out and you did some things

you didn't want to do, and now you're trying to

live a life of purity or of soberness, and you're thinking,

can I still come back?

And can I still do it?

And Jesus, he tells.

His story because there's a whole picture he's gonna paint

of grace and how he works. But he's also telling

the story because there's this secondary character in the story,

and it's the older brother, and some of us were like,

I don't relate to the prodigal Sun's story. Well that's

because that's not the part of the story that's for you.

The part of the story that's for you is the

older brother.

Because there's Jewish people in the crowd, but there's also

the Pharisees in the crowd. Pharisees are people who are

mad at bad people forgetting the grace they got. So

you know, when you see somebody and they thought they

should not be saved, they're a bad person.

You're the older brother.

The older brother in the story, he comes home, Dad

throws a party for him, and your older brother says, hey, yo,

what you throwing a party for him for?

I've been here doing the right thing.

I didn't take none of your money, I did all

this right stuff, and you're gonna throw a party for them.

Come on, This is how some of y'all feel looking

over at people in church.

Come here, y'all won't say that I told you I

was gonna be serious, so they don't act all surprise.

Now you're look, that's a good pastor, and I say it.

You're like, oh, okay, But this story is really about

how do you deal with the shame after a crash out?

What do you do with that feeling?

And here's what I have found. There are two roads

back home after a crash.

Out, and this is gonna be what I'm gonna preacchate

to you today.

Two roads home after a crash out. They seem very similar.

They are right next to each other. They seem like

they leave the same way, but they do not. If

you have ever crashed out, you thinking about crashing out,

maybe you've got to crash out on your calendar right now.

You've already scheduled and penciled it in. Some of y'all

schedule them. Come on now.

Two roads back home, very similar, but very different. One

road is the road of conviction, and one road is

the road of condemnation.

Conviction and condemnation.

These are two words that I want to talk to

you today.

Two roads I want to talk to you about.

Because they're right next to each other and they seem

very similar, but they take.

Very different turns. Give you some definitions here.

Conviction is the will of God in something God uses

to help us grow and become better versions of ourselves.

So you ever been.

Sitting there maybe you walking down the street. I was

telling my friends something. I was like, there are times

I've been in the middle of sermon about to say something,

and the Holy Speople be like, hey, bro, don't say that.

You ever been looking at.

Somebody and maybe you ain't really saying it out loud,

but you're kind of judging them, And then all of

a sudden, you feel like who you judging?

Like you hear that voice in your head. That's how

the Holy Spirit sound to me. Sometimes that's the conviction of.

The Holy Spirit.

And what he's trying to say is, Hey, that's not

who I made you to be, that's not who you are.

I have more for you, I have something or maybe

you some of y'all. My mama was praying so much

when I was a kid because I would get close

to doing bad stuff and start feeling terrible, Like I

would be we would be going to somebody's house, but

like all the party's gonna be crazy, and I'd say

the word party and just.

My whole body would shrivel up, like and I always

used to hate that.

Now I'm praying that same thing over my kids. Like

you get close to something, it just don't feel right.

That's conviction. It's the Holy Spirit. And what he's saying

is there's more for you than that. There's more to

you than just lying down in someone's bed so you

can feel something for a second.

There's more to you than that.

There's more to you than giving up parts of yourself

just so you can get a promotion. That's not who

you are, more more to you than lying about stuff

that don't really matter. There's more to you than that.

And it's the Holy Spirit's conviction trying to make us better.

But standing right next to that road, it's condemnation. And

condemnation is different because at first it feels like it's

trying to make you better.

It feels like it's trying to keep you from.

Doing the wrong thing. But condemnation's main fuel is shame.

So condemnation where conviction says there's more in you, condemnation,

conviction says that.

Combination says that's all there is in you is this mistake.

Conviction says you made a mistake, Condemnation says you are

a mistake. Conviction says you're better than that. Condemnation says

you're no better than that.

And here's the.

Thing we have a lot of people who love Jesus.

And you may not realize.

It, but you live on the road of condemnation. Here's

how the road of condemn nation says. If you prayed more,

that wouldn't have happened to you. That's condemnation, not conviction.

Condemnation is you should be praying more, You should be

reading your Bible more, you should be shouting more. Why

aren't you doing that? It talks down to you. It

makes you feel small. The only problem is with it,

while we don't sense it out, is because it'll have

you trying to do the right thing for a while.

Here's what happens. This is so crazy to me, and

this is why I try to be so specific with

how I preach when I get up here, because some

of you, when you leave here in service, you don't

feel conviction.

You feel condemned.

You walk out of here with your head down and

you feel like the list of things you have to

do for God just got so much longer and there's

no way you can do it. You know, some of

you people I know people who stop going to church

because they did not feel convicted to a bigger life.

They feel condemned to a smaller life.

Well, I can't, I can't don't.

I don't know the Bible like that, and I don't

sing like that, and I don't go to the class,

and I ain't got no more money to give.

I've never got.

I guess I can't do it. I'll never be a

parent like that. I'll definitely never know the word life.

And we get all these things, and what you don't

realize it's condemnation.

Here's the thing. Once you get on this road, they

look similar for.

A while, but as you walk down them, as they

continue to grow, it reaches a point where they make

a distinct turn. And today I asked the team, I'm

gonna try to get you all to read my terrible

handwriting real quick, because I'm gonna show you the difference

between what happens in these two So when you make

a mistake, big or small, there are two paths that

happen here. And I want to show you something because

it's important for you to see. Here's what I'm gonna

jump to the end of my sermon. What I'm trying

to accomplish today is to shorten the amount of time

you spend punishing yourself for what you did.

This is the whole sermon right here.

We spend so much time doing something God is not doing.

God is not doing.

That is where it's important, where you understand what you

believe about God.

I read that scripture at the beginning.

God did not come.

Into the world to point an accusing finger at you.

But this is what we think of God. We think

after we crash out, God is standing there like this,

why'd you do that? Why'd you say that?

And what we do is the Bible tells us that

God is quick to forgive us. He is ready to

forgive you the moment it happens, and the Bible says

he forgets our set. He throws them as far as

the east is.

It is done and over.

But here's what we think. That's too good of a deal.

I should feel bad for longer.

This is terrible theology, but it feels good when you

work out your religion this way. If I do bad things,

I should feel bad for a very very long time.

And that's how I prove to God that I'm really

sorry for what I did.

Is how bad I feel.

And you will read your Bible feeling bad. Stop coming

to church because you feel bad about what you did,

and all of that is condemnation. If you ever do

wrong things and it takes you further away from God,

you think I need to back up from God. We

do this, It's like any other relationship. Come on, husbands,

you ever made a mistake and then you're just kind

of scooting around the house like, Okay, what can I wash?

What can I clean up? I need to hang a

picture frame? What do I need to let her? Just

chill in the room for a while. I'll just go

clean the whole garage, just for as a kid, this happened,

you tell mom and Dad was mad or you got

in trouble, and what you just sit in your room

and you thought there was.

A period of time.

I need to punish myself so they can calm down.

And then I'll come out and I'll be like, hey,

can I help you with something?

Anything you need done? Mom? Want me do some laundry?

I clean my room.

Here's what happens, Hey God, I gave money the church.

Hey God had read my Bible. God have been praying

a lot.

Hey God, look what I did. Hey God, I just

want you to know.

I'm gonna do what you asked me to do. I'm

not mad at you for saying those things. But if

you're not careful, you will do that on this road.

You're doing that because you feel so bad about what

you did, and you think God is sitting there waiting

for you to earn his love back. If you are

reading the Bible to prove to God how much you

love him, he has not asked you to do that.

If you are praying really loud so.

You can show God how much faith you have, he

didn't ask.

You to do that.

If you are in church today here or online trying

not to feel bad about what you did.

It's not biblical. See.

Now, this is where when everybody gets tight, this is

who you can tell.

Love's religion and not grace.

Y'all would have loved the Old Testament because you immediately

got what you deserved.

Oh come on, y'all love that. You do a bad thing,

you die, Well, that's what happens.

You do something wrong, Bam, smite the whole city.

Don't do that. Don't do that, Or you.

Think I'm playing Bam whole city on fire.

Y'all gone.

And everybody wants that for other people, but not themselves.

You want other people to get the judgment and you

want to get the grace God.

You see how many times they messed up. You'll see

what they did. You'll see my cousin, You'll see them God,

you know. And what you don't realize is, here's what

I a bull saying. I would say, is you're fighting

the gospel.

There's a lot of people don't come to church.

Because somehow we tell people you saved by grace, but

you stay saved by works.

Y'all, don't hear what I'm saying.

Both God said, We've preached the gospel. There's nothing you

can do to earn it. He's just a free gift.

You take it, then you get saved over here, and.

Then you step over here.

Like but if you don't come on Wednesday night, if

you don't read your Bible, and if you don't give money,

and if you don't lift your hands, you better be

leery because God is standing there ready to smite you.

Which one do you want? You can't have both.

And this is where the people come in with, Well,

if you teach grace too much, be quiet. That is

the dumbest thing in the world. Teach grace too much,

that is dumb.

You sound dumb.

When you say that I was a little aggressive, I'm sorry.

I'm about to crash out, but hey, Jesus flips some tables,

so I do have crash out clearance on a couple

of things, and I will crash out if you try

to mess with the good news of Jesus, which is

you are saved by Grace, kept by g You go

by grace and it's always gonna be that way. Don't

sell me on grace and then trick me and shame

me into.

Being a better person.

Why aren't we trying to shame people into being better?

But you shouldn't do that, you know.

Because God's gonna God's gonna what Now, I'm not talking

about consequences.

Because some of y'all are like, but what if they.

Do bad thing? No, that's just life.

Some of that is like, it's not even nothing to

do with we be loving this over spiritualized state. We'd

be driving fast, somebody pull us over and as like

God was really trying to talk to me maybe or

you just drive fast and the.

Police officer was doing his job. God speaks you through that. Cool,

But that was just.

A consequence and that's all that was. But here's here's

here's what happens. Here's what happens. Here's what happens. Let

me get back to my list. Make a mistake, you

feel shame and the shame.

Now this list is from personal experience I could have

I this was the easiest part of my sermon to

write down what shame feels like, because there are so

much time in my life shame. Next thing that happens,

you sit in isolation. Shame makes you isolate. How do

we know this because it is exactly what happened in

the garden they eat the fruit, shame happens, they run

away from God. And what happens in isolation is it

starts to attack your identity. I'm trying to I'm gonna

make this list so some of you can see where

you are.

You make a mistake, you feel shame.

You feel so small about it that you think I

shouldn't be around people right now.

This is why when you sin, when you do.

Something that violates something on the inside. It is why

you always find yourself sometimes doing it alone, because shame

isolates you, and it isolates you because it wants to

mess with your identity. It wants to tell you you

are no better than that mistake you made. You'll never

be better than that, and that is who you are.

You are an addict. You will always be a liar,

you will always be a crash out.

You will always be and it gets you alone, so

that can isolate.

You, so it can take your identity.

So then it takes this word. It makes you hopeless.

And this is how you're sitting in the thing, thinking,

I'll never get past this. I'll never get past the anxiety.

I'll never get past the feeling of fear because you

have been stuck in shame for you feel bad for

being afraid, or you feel bad for making the mistake,

and then it isolates.

You in the things.

I shouldn't feel this way. Other people don't feel this way.

There's no way other people in church feel the way

I feel sitting here. And it starts to tell you, well,

there must be something wrong with you, and you're the problem,

and this is why people don't love you. This is

why our relayships are hard for you. So now you

feel hopeless. And then what happens is you're helpless and

it does not matter who tells you anything, because you

already know who you are. This is how you have

friends you're talking to and you try to tell them like, yeah,

but that just won't work because of this, And this

won't work because of that, And you can get to

such a place in shame that it does not matter

Discermon you hear, It does not matter the song you sing,

because you have been so attact with Shane, so isolated

that you believe the mistake is who you are. It's

made you hopeless, helpless. Here's the scariest one I felt.

Sometimes then you feel indifferent. What does it matter? It

don't even matter if I go to church, can't help me.

Why should I even try to be a godly man

or woman? Because I've made so many mistakes, It's just

a matter of time till I mess up again. What's

the point of even trying to be sober if I

know I'm gonna do it again?

And this it leads you to depression.

It all started with this one mistake, this word shame.

If you feel any of these, I need you to

know there's a better way.

Jesus did not come to the earth.

To use those things to make you feel bad, to

trick you into becoming.

A better person.

One of the biggest areas I I continually am trying

to go because it's the daily one that works out

all of the.

Goofiness in me. Really is parenting, It really is.

And one of the things I've learned about myself that

is not like God is now parents, we all be

doing this and somebody are like, ooh, this is my

key tactic, and I'm yeah, now you're gonna be responsible

for what you do with this information.

But you ever asked your kid a question that you

know the answer to. Come on, this be having all.

Somebody will go in there and get a snack and

I'll see the pantry just ravaged.

I usually already know who it is.

I walk up to the said individual, Hey, did you

take something out the pantry?

No, only one of my kids will just check me

that directly. Did you take anything out of put?

Nope?

You sure nothing? Nope, nothing you should there's nothing.

You want to tell me.

There's nothing you took out of there, maybe something that

has left residue all over your face.

You don't want to tell me nothing.

You didn't take nothing.

And here's although we've probably all done that as a parent,

what you don't realize is your tricking. Then trying to

trap them, ultimately, to shame them so that when I

catch you in the middle of this lie, you feel bad,

and if you feel.

Bad, you won't do it again. That's not how God works.

He doesn't ask you questions he knows the answer to.

To trap you and make you feel bad.

He'll ask you questions he know the answer to. But

it's to show you who you really are. It's to

show you there's more for you. There's a better option

for you. There's a bigger life for you. It is

not to shame you into something. If we're gonna talk

about crashing out, I want to talk about these two roads.

Here's the other other path. Make a mistake. There's this

word grace.

Now, this word is dangerous because it's not a fair word.

You can't add it up, and it makes sense to you,

and it's beautiful when it happens to you.

It's hard for it to happen to other people.

But let me show you the whole list of grace.

Watch this grace, get up, repent, Oh forgot hospital, repent.

Done. That's the whole list, that's the whole process.

Mistake, Oh, it's sorry, I don't worry about it.

Get up. Repent means turn done. That's it.

Look, here's what I've learned. I'm preaching the Bible for

thirteen years now, started when I was eleven.

That was a joke.

But y'all were too spiritual to catch my joke or

you thought I was dead serious. Sometimes I think Christians

like to be impressed and confused, because when you.

Get the most ah.

Is when people don't really understand or it's really complicated.

Grace isn't complicated. This is why sometimes when you preach grace,

people are like, oh, that's it's but it's there's got

to be more to it than that. You gotta do

you gotta like, you gotta do more. It's gotta be

like yeah. But once you get the grace store, show

me you different.

I hear you. Yes.

And if you don't understand this part, if you don't

check this part, if you don't when you're standing back

up to head home after your crish out, if you

do not check every step which road you are on,

you will find yourself doing the right thing for all

the wrong reasons.

And this is how people, This is exactly how it happens.

Watch this. You're on the road of combination.

You don't realize it, but you start doing all these

good things for God. And because you think these good

things are adding up to Him doing good things for you,

you do all these good things. You keep going, you

land up all the way over here. And this is

how people end up with tallies on all the stuff

they did for God. So now all the stuff He

should do for them. Because I read my Bible when

I didn't want to, I went to church when I

didn't want to. I was a good person, I gave money,

I did all the things you said to do, so

you should therefore have healed that person.

And if you don't heal that person, I'm out.

Of here because I did the stuff. I did the things,

and that means I shouldn't get something because I did

this for you. I was listening to the interview as

one of the most heartbreaking interviews I've ever seen is

a very famous person. Y'all all know his name, but

I'm not gonna say, but he was in their interview

and they said, what happened your relationship with God?

He said, man, I prayed a lot of prayers. He

didn't answer, so I didn't really mess with that. And

you know, what I.

Thought he was on this road. It's so easy. It's

such an easy road home because it looks the same.

It looks like we go in the same way. You

be in church fifty years, your whole life, and I

know you on the road of condemnation.

Now know you do?

You serve as certain outreaches, not because you want to

show the grace you've been given, but because you think,

if I don't help help homeless people, I'm a bad person.

All this road and here's my question for you. How

much time have you wasted punishing yourself, holding yourself too?

What God has forgotten about?

He literally the Bible.

This is not a lie. This is not a metaphor.

This is not like an ideal. There are sometimes the

Bible is metaphor.

This is not that.

It literally says He forgets them. The moment you say

I'm sorry, I don't want to be that person, he.

Says, bet cool, all done. You don't know how grace works.

Is why we don't like grace is like Holy Spirit

will convict.

You and be like, yo, you owe me a million dollars.

You're like, I can't pay. He's like, oh, I don't

worry about what Jesus, did you good? Go ahead.

I know this is a super simple message. But if

you do not understand this, if you do not under

because this is why people stay away from God, because

they think I don't know if I can do all

this stuff I'll need to do to get with him.

That's not how the Bible works.

This is why let me read you the scripture is

so good. Where I have the way with my clock

at where okay, three minutes, Okay, we're good. Listen to this.

This This is the first part of the of the

story we read in Luke fifteen. This is the message

version Luke fifteen, verse one. By this time, a lot

of men and women of questionable reputation were hanging around

Jesus listening intently. The pharisees and religious scholars were not pleased,

not at all.

They growled.

He takes sinners and eats meals with them, treating him

like old friends.

This is what the Bob says.

They're grumbling.

Triggered this story.

I'm triggered by the stump some of the stuff people

ain't triggered that.

I'm triggered.

How church people can look at people dying and searching

for identity, doing all types of stuff to find it

and sit.

There and judge them.

It's triggering to me.

Triggering to me that we can sit up in church

acting like we got ourselves up in here, acting like

it's how much we read the Bible that keeps us saying,

acting like it's all the good deeds and all the

services we went to, all the worship songs we acting

like we had anything to do with the grace that

was extended to us.

It is very triggering when.

You take a gift you were given and then wield

it to shame and hold it over people and act

like you're better than people. It was given to you,

it'll be given to them. And if you do not

get that right, please until you figure that out, please

don't talk to anybody. I know this is bad, but

I be feeling that way sometimes. I have friends that

this is honest truth and this is not personal to anybody,

But I have friends sometimes that I'll spend a long

time inviting the church, or will be going somewhere and

I'll be thinking, gosh, I hope they don't run into

that person, and that person follows Jesus. It's just they

follow Jesus. On the condemnation road, and it sounds easy

to sell to people. So I think, please, do not

get my friend on this road.

Do not go talk to them.

I know they got a word for you.

I know they're super up in heaven, but they have

not realize that they have been shamed their whole life

into doing things. And you don't need to be on

that road. God loves you as you are. He won't

leave you the same way as you are, but he

does not expect you to fix yourself without him.

Then show up to the church to prove to.

Them that you're good enough, so now He can save you,

and you can keep proving to him that you were

worth saving.

It's not the Bible.

It's not why Jesus showed up. It's not why he died.

And when you take grace and make it about works,

you cheapen the gospel.

You cheapen the.

Gospel by staying over here. Now here's what I'm not saying.

I'm not saying you get saved and you just do

whatever you want because God loves us and he'll save us.

Anyways, that's not true.

Paul is the exact same thing in the Bible as

happens he's teaching.

He's like, so what should we just keep on sending?

No, but this road right here, it will change you,

but it invites you into a bigger life. You do

stuff not because you're trying to prove to God, but

because it just doesn't sit right with you. There are

certain things that just don't align with who you are anymore.

There are certain things I do not because I'm so holy.

It's just I've been on this road so long.

I would have to get off so bad to go

over there, and that's just a lot of work and energy.

I like it over here.

Because if you get on this road, you start judging

other people.

By this road tall tail sign.

If you're really harsh with other people, I know you

harsh on yourself. I'm gonna read the scripture one more time.

Oh I got points to give y'all. Damn how much time? Ah,

time's gone? Well, no points for y'all, no practical application.

I just hope y'all. No, I'll give you these three points.

I'll give you these three points real quick. How do

you come home after a crash out? This is based

off Luke fifteen three things. I'll give all to your

first acknowledge admit, except if you're gonna come home after

the crash out, you made a decision you don't want

to make. You did something you don't want to do.

First thing, you have to acknowledge that you in the

pig pen. Here's some of my beef. I've said this

to some of my friends. As I be talking to

him about Jesus. I'm like, yo, you should come check

out church blah blah blah, and they're like, I don't

really need that. And sometimes my beef with them is

like real quick playing.

You know your life is trash.

You called me having panic attacks every two days, and

then you want to act like, yeah, but I'm getting

it under control. No, you're not you smoking until you

are in the sky. But then I think, like, so

you no, it's legal. Now I'm not asking if it's legal.

I'm asking if it's good for you and it makes

you a bit more of who you want to be.

So I ain't got no beef if it's legal or not.

By the way, my standard for my life is if

it's not legal or not. If that's your standard, I

love you. But if your standard is will I go

to jail for it?

There's a little.

Bit more to life than running it off of do

I go to jail or not. You can live there

if you want. That's just a very small life, so

I don't bother. Well, it's legal now, So God, no,

I'm not.

I'm not. And here's the thing I'm not saying anything

is that.

What I'm saying is some.

People you won't be honest with where you really are.

The truth is that relationship does not make you. I

know it looks awesome, but you feel terrible on the inside.

And I'm just asking you to be honest with you.

You ain't gonna tell me. Just acknowledge.

Dang.

I feel super ashamed of my past and God has

forgiven me. It's giving me a grace, but I carry

it with me everywhere I go.

You gotta acknowledge it.

The next thing you gotta do is you gotta admit

you can't get your self out of there. And this

might be the toughest one because we love to be like,

all right, i know I'm in a bad spot, but God,

watch this. I'm about to do seventy five hard. I'm

about to read the Bible in ninety days.

This is literally me. I'm about to do Dave Ramsey

for the eighteenth time.

This is my.

Exact this is my exact regimend when I felt like

I had crashed out.

Watch this.

I'm about to set so many blocks on my phone.

I couldn't even type the letter P into my phone

without getting it flagged. Some of y'all don't get that

you've never been addicted to pornography, but some.

People you're like, I know exactly that play. I'm doing

that play right now. And here's the thing. The thing

about condination is condemnation doesn't change you conviction. This is

the thing. Why just is an honest take on that.

Some of y'all addiction to pornography or just addicted to anything,

and you just try to will yourself to doing it.

You could lock your phone in a cage and throw

it in the ocean, but your addicted self would find.

A way to do it because you haven't changed. It's

not about.

Locking your phone up.

It's not about somebody calling you every time you about

to do something you're not supposed to do.

It's not on other people to keep you. I understand

we love to blame people.

You didn't call me, so I had to sleep with her.

No, that's your fault that was done.

Be blaming accountability partners in the past or where the

past or did it?

No, get out of here. You should be reading this

book for yourself, she said.

Period.

Yeah.

Anyways, admit I cannot get myself out of this place.

I do not have it in me to be the

person I want to be in this area.

I need help.

One of the greatest prayers you get, pray God help me.

I do not know how to do this. I do

not know how to navigate this. I do not And

this is why you've got to be honest with the

results of your life. Some of you you want to

be friends with people who their life is terrible. All

my homies, incent you, what's up? Look at me real quick.

I know it's not Wednesday, but I'm gonna still talk

to you.

Some of the people you want to be friends with

their life is terrible and they're lying to you the

moment you get around them. I'm gonna say it like

my granny would say it. You hang with nine broke friends,

you're bound to be the tenth one. Just you gotta

admit last thing you gotta do. We're gonna get out

of here, you gotta accept.

This word grace.

The most difficult thing for church people is believing that

the gospel is true costing. I'll bet money on it

covers than.

For anybody all of the issues.

I would literally bet that every issue you struggle with

that now, every counseling thing, every marriage issue, every relational issue,

every finance issue is all about do you believe is

that true or not? Is it true that God died

on the cross for a bunch of people who could

do nothing to save themselves. And at the second you

say I'm sorry, he extends new grace, new mercy. You're

a new creation. The old is gone, the new has

come and it's a brand new start whenever you want it.

But what if I do something really bad? Oh so

there's levels of bad.

So another way we judge people because you think kind

of lying on your taxes ain't as bad.

As that person who cheated on their wa life. The

standard for Jesus is perfect. So this isn't about good

and bad. This is about perfect or not.

In case nobody's told you, we all land in the

not perfect category. So the grace is needed for everybody.

Heard somebody illustrate this way they said, if me and

my wife and me and my wife are standing up

here and it's like who can jump the highest, it'd

be like, oh, I can definitely jump.

Higher than Abbey. But if the goal was to jump

to the moon, it's.

Like, you know what, I really don't in comparison with

what the standard is, I don't jump that much higher

than Abby.

We like to use our.

Sin to judge, well, you know this sin, it didn't

really affect me that way. But no, no, no, the

standard is perfect, perfect, not having one thought against anybody

that is not willing their good.

If you've ever done that, you're out.

Yeah. My prayer today is if you have been stuck

in a cycle of shame, You've been stuck in carrying

the weight of the decisions you've made in the past.

Maybe you're here today and you're in.

Church worshiping God out of shame. I'm gonna prayer a

very simple prayer that all I'm gonna ask you is

to give that shame to him. I'm going a little

bit over time, but I have to express this to

you because it's so important. The story in the Bible

of Luke, chapter fifteen, The Son is a long way off,

the Bible says, and the Bible tells us that the

father is sitting on the porch looking, and he's looking

out there, and the son is practicing his speech of

what am I going to say to Dad so I

can just get in okay, And it says the father

is standing there here and he's looking.

Bible tells us he takes off running.

At this time it was disgraceful for a man of

that stature to run. And here's the other thing you

don't know. In Jewish tradition, if a young man left

the city like that, there was this concept where all

the Jewish men, if they saw that boy walk back

into town, they had rights to go beat him up

and say, you don't get.

To come back. So here's what the dad is doing.

He's saying, before somebody gets to you, he tries to

tell you that you can't come back here. Let me

get up here and put this ring on you, let

me put this robe on you, let me tell you

who you are, because there will be some people when

you are trying to come back home that'll try to

tell you you're too far gone and you've messed.

Up too much.

And by the long standards, they're right, but sweetheart, you

are my child and.

There's nothing you could ever do. So he runs out

up there. The son doesn't even get his speech. The

scripture literally says you can go read it.

It says the son finishes his speech, but it says

the father wasn't even listening. He grabs a ring, he

grabs a robe, and he throws a party. If anybody

has told you, hey, you better change your clothes before

you come up in here, you better stop doing that

before he won't let you come in here, it's not true.

It's not true. He's standing there waiting, just saying, hey,

just come home, But Dad, I got a lot, you know,

don't just come home. But I'm a bad person.

It's not just.

Come home.

If you're in here today, every had bowed, every eye, close,

two prayers, maybe three, first prayer.

You're home, but.

You feel like the older brother.

Sometimes you've done all the right things and bad things

keep happening to you, and now you're kind of mad

that either God or the people that's happening too.

But you don't want to carry that weight, that shame,

that burden. You feel frustrated that you in this room.

I'm gonna ask you to raise your hand right now

all over the room.

Thank you for your honesty. Thank you, Thank you God.

I pray right now for my brothers and sisters that

you would remove.

The shame and the judgment they have carried. Think you,

they would receive the gift of grace. About everybod close

you put your hands back down.

If you're in this room and you feel like the

sun preparing speech, and you're sitting here thinking, Okay, I

gotta figure out a way to do these things so

God will love me, and I gotta and you feel

the weight of shame, of decisions you've made, of things

you've done, of things you've said, and you are crippled

by it.

Right now, you know who you are.

You are carrying the weight of sin and shame and

your mistakes. I want to tell you today you can

make a decision that.

Will change your life forever.

It is a decision that does not make sense, that

does not add up. But the Bible says in Isaiah

that he will trade you your shame for honor. You

will find it. You will not have to carry the

weight of what you have done. And this is what

happens when you give your life to Jesus. If you're

in this room and maybe you have never made this decision,

or maybe you're in this room and you realize you've

been following Jesus but out of the wrong place.

But you want to surrender to grace.

You want to surrender to the fact that you have

been saved by grace through faith, so that no one

could boast that you are putting your faith. You can't

do it by yourself, and you want Jesus to be

your Lord and savior.

I'm gonna count to the count of three, and on

the count of three, I'm gonna ask you to lift

your hand boldly. Do not apologize, don't think about.

Anybody next to you.

This has nothing to do with them.

If you want to accept Jesus, you are tired of

the shame you have carried for the things you have done,

and you do not want to carry it.

I'm gonna count the three. You're gonna raise your hand,

and you're gonna raise it boldly.

One He loves you.

Two.

Today is the day of salvation. Three right now, all

over this room, and online lift your hand all over

this room. I got you over here, so many over there,

I got you, big dog. I see you, I see you.

I'm so proud of you. I got you right here, two, three, four, five, six.

Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.

Thirteen, fourteen, come on, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen.

Oh, come on, y'all twenty.

I got you, big dog. Everybody value has enclosed your eyes.

Dear God. Everybody repeat after me, say, Dear God.

I acknowledge I'm a sinner. I admit I cannot save myself.

I accept the gospel that you lived, you died just

for me, Change me, save me, make me new, And

Jesus say my prayer.

Amen.

Can we celebrate everybody who just made that decision. Hey, listen,

if you just made the decision to follow Jesus, we're

so proud of you. Biggest decision you could ever make

in your life. If you text the words save to

A two eight two A two, it'll help you on

this journey. I'm gonna ask everybody to go ahead and

stand up. We're about to get out of here.

But a team's gonna sing lead us in worship.

And if you need prayer for anything at all, If

you need prayer for anything, maybe you've been carrying shame

you've been carrying weight. I'm gonna ask our prayer team

to come up to the front end. You can come

down and receive prayer for anything, but I'm gonna pray

for you as we head out of here.

Lord God, we love you so much.

God.

I thank you that we are not under the shame

of what we have done. Lord, from a crash out

to a bad decision.

God, I thank you the Lord.

Your grace covers us and empowers us to live a

different way, empowers us to.

Change the things that do not make us like you.

I pray Lord this week that your grace and mercy

would follow us.

We thank you so much for us.

In the name of Jesus, we pray, and everybody said Amen, Amen, Amen,