Love Your Family

Hey everyone, this is Josh from Encounter Church

Henley and thanks so much for tuning into our

podcast. Our prayer is that through this podcast

you can have an encounter with Jesus that will

change your life. And now get ready for an inspiring

message from our preaching team. Today's Bible

reading is taken from 2 Samuel 18. Now Absalom

happened to meet David's men He was riding his

mule, and as the mule went under the thick branches

of a large oak, Absalom's hair got caught in

the tree. He was left hanging in mid -air while

the mule he was riding on kept going. When one

of the men saw what had happened, he told Joab,

I saw Absalom hanging in an oak tree. Joab said

to the man who told him this, What? You saw him?

Why didn't you strike him to the ground right

there? then I would have to give you ten shekels

of silver and a warrior's belt. But the man replied,

even if a thousand shekels were weighed out into

my hands, I would not lay a hand on the king's

son. In our hearing, the king commanded you and

Abishai and Ittai, protect the young man Absalom

for my sake. And if I had put my life in jeopardy

and nothing is hidden from the king, you would

have kept your distance from me. Joab said, I'm

not going to wait like this for you. So he took

three javelins in his hand and plunged them into

Absalom's heart while Absalom was still alive

in the oak tree. And 10 of Joab's armor bearers

surrounded Absalom, struck him and killed him.

Then Joab sounded the trumpet and the troops

stopped pursuing Israel for Joab halted them.

And we carry on in verse 31. The king asked the

Kushite, is the young man Absalom safe? The Kushite

replied, may the enemies of the Lord and King

and all who rise up to harm be like that young

man. The king was shaken, he went up to the room

over the gateway and wept. As he went he said,

oh my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom, if

only I had died instead of you. Oh Absalom, my

son, my son. This is the word of the Lord. Good

afternoon friends There's a running joke that

when guys turn 30 they either get into lawns

or marathons or smoking meat Can any men over

30 attest to that? I want to add a third a fourth

which is family trees and genealogies surely

I've been getting my my family tree nerd on And

it has been so much fun investigating, going

through all the records, going through all my

family's photos. I'm trying to get as far back

as I possibly can. And in a family tree, you

can actually see the scale of how many individual

humans make up your family. You probably have

a living memory of maybe a handful of your grandparents

or your great -great -grandparents. And you know

that... Grandparents, you've got four of them.

Great grandparents, you've got eight of them.

But you've probably never met your great, great

grandparents. You have 16 of them. And I've managed

to get seven generations back. So that's the

fifth great grandparents. So it's great, great,

great. No, I need to count on my fingers to keep

going. And you have 128 of them. Fifth great

grandparents. 128 individual humans with stories

and strengths and flaws and quirks and mannerisms.

And if you add up every direct ancestor from

seven generations, that's 1 ,022 human beings

that make up your family. And they're our inheritance.

In some way, big or small, those 1 ,022 people

have shaped you and your story. Is it any wonder

that our families are so complex? You learn some

interesting things about your family when you

start to dig and dig. For example, on my dad's

side, which is also Steph's dad's side, there

is a pattern of sibling estrangement. So siblings

that don't speak to one another. They just don't

talk to them at all. And it goes back generations

and generations. So really it's a miracle that

Steph and I are in the same room. together on

a Sunday afternoon in Jesus' name. Thank you.

You know, we're so shaped by the dynamics of

our families and there's so many different parts

and so many different families that come together

in your family. And it can be hard to know with

all the complexity. How can I most effectively

love my family? Last week Ash talked about an

inheritance of grace and an inheritance of brokenness.

How do we love our family in our inheritances,

even if they're full of grace and those parts

that are full of brokenness? See, we say stuff

like, blood is thicker than water, and we know

that we should love our families. And this is

one of the most basic assumptions we have as

human beings. And it's for good reason. But the

reality is that this is really hard sometimes.

and really complex. And I want to acknowledge

that, that not everyone has had good experiences

with family. And over the last couple of weeks,

we've been going through our series, it's all

about family. And we've looked at the families

in our life. We looked at our church family,

the family that God has given us, as text preached

on. And then we've looked at our family. And

the reality is that neither of those are perfect.

And sometimes they can be really, really hard

to love. It can be hard to know how to love people

that you are supposed to be deeply connected

to. But the things they do and the things they

say can sometimes be deeply unloving and wildly

at odds with who we are and who we want to be.

And sometimes what our family does and what our

family says are at wild odds with who they want

to be. How do we really love our families? In

our teaching text today, we've got the death

of Absalom, one of King David. King David is

the greatest of all Israelite kings. And before

his death, Absalom was actually the first, like

the heir to the throne, the next in line. And

yet in this, we see him die at the hands of the

commander of David's army, Joab, who's ultimately

protecting David from Absalom. Because Absalom's

sole aim in this whole encounter is to end David's

life. How does he get to this point? We can see

by his response, my son, my son Absalom, that

David deeply loves him. He wishes that he died

in Absalom's place. You don't wish that for someone

that you don't like. You don't even wish that

for someone you feel kind of met an average about.

or not even for someone that you like and you

think is like a good laugh and a good hang. You

do that for someone that you love deeply, right?

So how does he get here? How does David, one

of the greatest of all kings, the one that God

said he's a man after his own heart, end up with

a son that is actively trying to see him dead

and take his kingdom? And David still loves him

enough to want to take his place. He gets there.

by a series of tragic failures on his own behalf.

Now, Absalom is a saga, right? It's like, think

of any TV show, like it's a long saga in the

book of Samuel. It's six chapters long, and that's

like an eternity in these books. And so we're

not gonna pick our way through all of it today,

but I wanna highlight three ways in which David

fails to love his family. that ends him up right

here, the death of his son. Because David has

something to teach us about how to love our families,

especially when they're complex and hard to love.

And we're going to do what I certainly failed

to do as a teenager, I'm sure you didn't, which

is to learn from someone else's mistakes. We're

going to learn from David's mistakes today, okay?

So there are three failures in David's parenting

in this saga. And I'm going to call him his three

family sins, because I think it sounds better.

But sin is a word that comes with a lot of imaginative

and perhaps emotional baggage. And talking about

sin, it comes with these connotations of judgment.

But what we're talking about today is in the

objective sense, right? That sin is a misaligned

action. It's a sort of wrong action that has

destructive potential. See, David makes these

choices and they ultimately destroy his relationships

with his children. And this is almost a spoiler

alert. This is a deeply unpleasant story. But

I don't want to shy away from unpleasant stories

in the Bible because frankly they reflect the

reality of life, right? Sometimes life can be

deeply unpleasant. But I want you to hear me,

especially those of us in the room who have children.

We all know that we make mistakes when it comes

to parenting. and that we make the wrong choices

when it comes to our family. And I, like, each

of these three sins, I've done it. I just want

to put that out there, right? And you would be

an exceptional human being if you hadn't. So

the point of looking at David's choices is not

to condemn us or to feel condemned about our

mistakes, or we would all be condemned, but it's

to build an understanding that these patterns

that we see in David's family they still exist

in our families today, and they exist in the

church as well, because the church functions

like a big family. Because if we can understand

them, then we can bring them into the grace of

Jesus, and we can choose a better way, and we

can love our families. Here's the first scene

that David commits. It's a scene of doing nothing.

So this whole saga, it begins with David's daughter,

Tamar. Tamar is Absalom's only full sister because

David has many wives and many sons and daughters.

And Tamar's sister, to put it mildly, very mildly,

is sexually assaulted by her half -brother Amnon.

So Amnon is the firstborn son. He's the heir

to the throne. Amnon does what he wants and then

he throws Tamar away. And he leaves her in that

culture without protection or a future. And when

David hears about this, the text says he is very

angry, but he does nothing. He does nothing.

See, Mosaic law, the law that they were under,

decrees at least either death for Amnon, for

what he did, or at least some kind of restitution

for Tamar. But he does nothing. Nothing, neither

is given. It says David loves Amnon, and as he's

first born in his heir, he just does nothing.

He's angry, but he does nothing. And even though

David is complicit in this act, he's the one

who gives Amnon access to Tamar. He agrees to

Amnon's request to have her take care of him.

And he's complicit in this, not just because

of his inaction that he does nothing in response,

or because he greenlit this opportunity, but

because his son is actually perpetuating his

own behavior. If you know the story of David,

David uses his own power to generate an opportunity

to sexually assault the Sheba. David has suffered

deeply for this. He's repented of it. If you

read Psalm 51, it's a cry of a heart that is

genuinely turned around. But his own sin is following

him in his family and his children. Now here's

a moment for David, right? It's a moment that

could have prevented every other moment and prevented

Absalom from dying. hanging in a tree, because

David here could have taken responsibility for

this. He's perpetuated this behavior, but he

has repented. He's suffered. But in this moment,

he could take a stand and say, hey, this behavior

will not continue in my family. It ends with

me. I will put a stop to this and do something

about the evil that had happened and is happening

among his children. He could hold Amnon accountable

and secure a life and a future for Tamar. But

he does neither. Amnon's atrocity is ignored.

Tamar is cast aside. She's not even allowed to

live in David's own house, but she's taken in

by Absalom, her brother. This is the sin of doing

nothing. And this can be a pattern in our families.

I wonder, in your family or in the churches you've

been a part of, what are the things that have

happened that it seems like no one wants to talk

about? And everyone wants to just pretend it

never happened and move on. We just go, oh, that's

just Uncle Joseph, and just excuse their behavior,

and we don't hold Uncle Joseph to account. You

know, there's a saying in leadership, which is

that you get what you tolerate, and that applies

here. Like, we perpetuate the things that we

ignore. If you accept casual racism from Grandpa

at Christmas lunch, say, well, that's just Grandpa,

you know, he's part of a different generation.

Play it out. How keen are you to spend time with

grandpa? How keen are you to have him around

your kids or hang out with your friends? You're

not so keen, are you? Not so keen. So we pull

away and avoid rather than drawing close to hold

account. So who loses in this situation, this

hypothetical? Grandpa loses. But also you. You

also lose. So I want to ask, what's more loving

to grandpa? Doing nothing? ignoring, tolerating,

withdrawing from relationship or coming alongside

and challenging the behavior which could then

lead to deepening your relationship. Now if you

hold people to account and they don't listen,

they don't do anything about it, that's a whole

other thing, right? But so many times in our

families, in the church as well, we just skip

the first step and we just do nothing. We just

keep going and we perpetuate David's sin of doing

nothing. rather than gently and lovingly holding

people accountable. I remember a time when I

did nothing. I was driving in the car with one

of my close mates who was also in ministry, and

he began to talk about the people in his church

who were his fans, who adored him. Now, I don't

have any fans here, so that's fine. But they

adored him, right? And he was talking about all

this. He just kept going about his fans. And

what I should have done is clip him behind the

ears and say, you know, grow up, basically. Proverbs

16 -18 says, pride comes before destruction and

an arrogant spirit comes before a fall. And ain't

that the truth? And lo and behold, a month later,

he just blows up his ministry and his life. See,

I let just let it go. It was like I was playing

cricket and I just let it go through. I just

let the ball go through to the keeper. But what

would have been the most loving thing? It would

have been clipping in behind the ears. And you

can bet that I remember that, and I will never

forget that, and I will never not say something

next time. Because in our families, the most

loving thing we can do isn't nothing, but something.

Something. Stand up to challenge to, like, I

am not going to accept this poor behavior around

me. So instead of doing nothing, hold accountable.

This is the second sin, the sin of pulling away.

See what happens after this is Absalom's furious,

and he's furious because of what's happened,

but he's also furious that his brother hasn't

been held to account. And so for two years, Absalom

plots to murder Amnon. And he is very successful

in his plot to murder Amnon. And again, seemingly

at every point in this story, David just greenlights

everything. It's like he's asleep at the wheel.

He's he's like yeah, go go hang out go have a

feast with Amnon like like nothing's gonna happen

and Again David continues the pattern of doing

nothing The law decrees that Absalom should be

put to death for the murder of his brother but

Absalom is now the heir to the throne and putting

The next in line to the throne to death as well

is not good for the family business So Absalom

flees for three years or he's banished. It's

really unclear, but he's just not there for three

years and and after three years the scriptures

say that David long like the anger of What's

happened passes and he longs to be recon reunited

with his son Absalom But again, he does nothing

he does nothing So it's Joab The one who ends

up killing Absalom that decides enough is enough

and he manufactures this way to tell the king

a parable that would turn his heart towards bringing

Absalom home, which is clever, right? Because

he's copying the prophet Nathan's homework, if

you remember the story of Bathsheba, where he

tells a parable about what happened with Bathsheba,

but he puts the king in the place of the person

who did the wrong. So David immediately sees

through the ruse, but he still greenlights Absalom's

return on one condition. He can't see him. Absalom

would never see the king again. He can come home,

he can live at home, but he can never see the

king. He can never see his dad again. And so

why? Why does David do this? Is this punishment

for the death of Abnon? I mean, I feel like this

would be worse than being in exile. You're at

home, but every day you're reminded that you're

estranged from your father. So for two years,

Absalom lives in Jerusalem. He doesn't see the

king. Let's count the years now, if you're following,

right? You've got two years plotting a murder.

Three years in exile, and now two years you've

been banned from seeing your dad. This is seven

years in to the saga of Absalom. And in seven

years, David has only cultivated in the heart

of his son, not love, but bitterness, contempt,

and estrangement. He's committed the sin of pulling

away. Now I wonder what would happen if David

had drawn near instead of pulling away to Absalom

after. He murdered Amnon. Go on to him where

he was openly hiding or at least to see him when

he was allowed to return and said, mate, because

I just imagine that King David is like a bit

ocker. Mate, I was wrong to do nothing. But you

were wrong to murder your brother. Here's how

I'll hold myself to account. But also I need

to hold you to account. So here's what we're

going to do. This whole thing ends with you and

I right now. Imagine if David had had that conversation.

I don't think Absalom ends up hanging in a tree

if David draws near rather than pulling away.

See David, but David's just, he's consumed by

his anger, he's consumed by his embarrassment

and probably his anxiety. He's trying to strengthen

his position in the relationship and punish Absalom

by pulling away. But ultimately it creates the

opposite of what David is after. You see to actively

resolve conflict we actually have to draw near

rather than pull away. My daughter has been hard

work this year. She's for I don't know what is

about four -year -old girls, but there's something

else It's so hard she's always been part Disney

princess part Street Fighter, but like she's

just a little bit of psycho that's gotten in

there a little bit and And I recently realized

that this is this is like this is parenting honesty

sessions, right? that there was this dynamic

between us that she would act up and bite and

do all kinds of crazy stuff. And so in response,

I would withdraw from her. I would walk away.

And partially that was good parenting strategy

because I needed a moment to just take a breath

and kind of get a hold of myself before I so

that I could try and respond well because I don't

respond well to being bitten. But here's the

honest reflection, right? And this is my parenting

failure. Learn from my mistakes. Walking away

was also my way of getting back at her. It was

also my way of getting back at her. But this

changed when I realized that Olly acting out

was actually a bid for connection with me, right?

She was lashing out at me because she wanted

me to draw near and connect with her. And when

I started to realize this and started to, when

she was biting and doing other stuff that is

great, if I drew near to her instead, If I drew

near to her, then the whole situation resolved

pretty easily. If I like locked in, I was like,

I'm just gonna lock in with you right now. You

have my whole attention. The whole thing just

resolved. But if I withdrew, it got worse and

worse and worse. And there was times, days where

we just got to a point which we could not come

down from. We just couldn't come down. Absalom

at multiple points here. makes bid for connection

with his dad and sometimes it's in pretty bad

ways but David's response is to pull away not

to draw near. You see this dynamic is consistent

in in our churches and in our families sometimes

the most loving thing we can do is to draw near

instead when we on those times that we feel like

we just need to pull away we just need to pull

away we just need to spend some time away from

church we just need to spend some time we need

to go and live overseas for a little bit. or

go live in to stay or go get a job somewhere

else when actually what we need to do is to draw

near. Now I should have multiple disclaimers

in this but here's one that doesn't mean you

override your boundaries to draw near. Sometimes

the most loving thing you can do for your family

sometimes and for your relationship in the church

is just to have boundaries and your own boundaries

and to keep those boundaries. But so often the

conflicts that occur you know, families and in

the church, they would be resolved by actually

connecting, drawing near, moving towards those

that we have conflict with rather than pulling

away, because pulling away exacerbates what's

going on. The third thing is this, the scene

of overreacting. Eventually, Absalom burns down

a field in order to get an audience with his

dad. At least Olly's not really at that point

yet where she's burning down fields. to connect

with me. I guess maybe that's coming in five

-year -old girls. I don't know what five -year

-old girls are like. And so David and Absalom,

they reconcile, right? And there's lots of famous

pieces of art about this whole saga. And here's

one from Rembrandt of the reconciliation of David

and Absalom. Now, doesn't it look nice? Doesn't

it look genuine? Not the painting, but the reconciliation.

But it can't be genuine if you read the text,

this is this cannot be a genuine reconciliation

Because immediately after David kind of ticks

him off like you back Absalom immediately begins

to systemically and openly and publicly Undermine

the King's authority and win the hearts of the

people to himself and he's doing this by the

gates He's saying, oh, well, you know, if only

you had a king who would truly listen to you.

If only I was king because I really get you and

I would really listen to you. And he does this

for four years, right? When people were going

to meet the king, he steps in and goes, oh, gee,

wouldn't it be good if you had a good king? You

know, if only there was an heir who was really

like a really good people person, you know, he

does this for four years. There's no way that

David doesn't know this is going on. But again,

David does. Nothing. And after four years, Absalom

goes to Hebron, which is the place that David

was crowned king, with David's permission, for

miscellaneous reasons, and instead he has himself

crowned king of Israel. So how does David respond

to this, right? Your son has just gone and announced

that he's the king. This is what it says in 2

Samuel 15. A messenger arrived in Jerusalem to

tell David, If all Israel has joined Absalom

in a conspiracy against you, then we must flee

at once or it will be too late. David urges them.

Hurry, if we get out of the city before Absalom

arrives, both we and the city of Jerusalem will

be spared from disaster. Okay, but is that the

truth? Because objectively, that's not the truth.

Absalom only has 200 men with him and the text

says that those 200 men knew nothing of his plan

to crown himself king. And if there's a conspiracy

that's growing against David, sure, he might

be gaining some steam, but it could be swiftly

dealt with by King David, who's a military genius,

right? And the resources of the capital of Jerusalem.

But David's not acting objectively. David is

acting emotionally and anxiously and reactively.

He knows that his son's been systematically undermining

him for four years. and he's too quick to believe

that Absalom has raised up the entirety of Israel

against him and Absalom does do this but only

because in this moment David overreacts and just

abandons ship effectively handing the throne

and all of the army over to Absalom right so

he has raised up all of Israel against him because

David's left all of Israel for Absalom to lead

It seems like David, this brilliant strategist

and warrior, this wise and God -honouring king,

he's just useless whenever it comes to his family.

He's just asleep at the wheel. He's emotionally

paralysed to do anything. He just goes up to

the Mount of Olives and just mourns and weeps.

For four years, David's been telling himself

a story about Absalom, that he wants his throne,

that the hearts of the people are with Absalom

and not with himself. And so the moment that

there's even a hint that this story could be

true, David just overreacts and flees. But if

he could have kept his head and kept calm and

like investigated the situation objectively,

and all could have differently, again, Absalom

might have lived. But here's the problem, right?

It's so hard to take a step back and ask some

questions and investigate objectively when it

comes to our families. And that's because we

are so, we can be so emotionally intertwined

with them. When we look at our kids, if you've

got kids, we don't look at them objectively as

like little adults that we have in training.

We look at them and we see all our hopes and

dreams for them, everything we've sacrificed,

what they mean to us. We look at what our kids

reflect about us, which isn't always very nice.

When we look at our parents, It's hard to look

at them objectively as flawed human beings who

generally speaking were doing the best, their

version of the best with what they had, even

if we might disagree on some definitions or motivations,

right? We look at them and we see our family

stories, all the good things that they created

in us, the inheritance of grace that Ash was

talking about, and all the dysfunction that's

been passed down to us, all the inheritance of

brokenness. Don't worry, I've passed dysfunction

down to my children. It's hard to get like an

objective emotional autonomy when it comes to

our families. We can just be so intertwined with

them emotionally that we react towards them in

ways we wouldn't react anywhere else or to anyone

else. And that's because things that come from

your family, they carry far more baggage, far

more complexity and weight than they do from

anyone else. Judah was playing at the square

on Friday with some of his friends from school

on those big wavy chairs that go like that. I

don't know if you've been to the square and you've

seen them. And they're great to climb over and

play chase you on. And there was a couple there

and they were doing this fairly close to people

who were sitting down because kids aren't super

aware of their bodies. And an older couple who

were trying to relax got very upset with me and

the other parents. and eventually told us that

we needed to learn how to be a parent and that

parents like us were the reason where the world

was is what it is today. And now, look, I could

have handled that whole situation a lot better.

And sure, there's a small part of what they were

trying to communicate in their aggressiveness.

That was true. Our kids should have been a bit

more conscious of where other people were, right?

A bit more conscious of others. But I don't really

care what some random... who, based on their

response, probably hasn't been around children

very much, thinks about my parenting, right?

I don't care. So I didn't overreact. I just said,

sorry, have a nice day. But imagine if someone

in my family said that to me, right? Whoa. I

mean, that could be just as wrong, but the fact

that it's family adds weight and hurt. I'd be

far more likely to overreact and return serve

if it was someone in my family who said that

than just some random at the square. David wouldn't

have thought twice about swiftly dealing with

an upstart who's declared themselves king if

it had been some random. But it's his son and

his heir. It's who Absalom is to David that causes

him to overreact. And the fact that David overreacts

actually perpetuates the situation, because he

can't get enough emotional distance from the

fact his son's trying to attempt a coup to make

a rational decision. And when we overreact to

things that happen in the church or in our families,

we very often make things worse. But if we can

keep calm, detangle ourselves as much as we can

emotionally from what's going on, try to get

a bit added a bit objectively friends we can

respond to anything in a way that could bring

life into a situation instead of overreacting

try to get objective see we find three ways that

David fails to love his family in this saga the

sin of doing nothing the sin of pulling away

and the sin of overreacting and there's three

things that David could have done differently

to love his family to hold them accountable to

draw near to them and to try to get objective.

And what do we do with all of this? Well, Dr.

Henry Cloud has this great line, no awareness,

no choice. Meaning if you're not aware that these

dynamics are at play, how could you choose to

hope, hope to choose a better way? How could

we hope to love our families regardless of how

complex they are? But if we can build awareness,

then slowly but surely we can make intentional

choices that better help us to love our families.

Because he is at the heart of David's failure

to love his family. He doesn't take responsibility

for the part that he's played in all of this.

Doing nothing, pulling away, overreacting. All

of what he does is responding to what other people

are doing. Not once does he take responsibility

for how he will respond. You see friends, in

our life, all we can do as people is control

the controllables. In anything that comes at

you in life, from randoms at Henley Square to

your own family, you can't control what anyone

else does. David, even though he's King, can't

really control the behaviour and the actions

of his sons, Amnon and Absalom, but he can control

himself. And we can control how we act, how we

respond to the actions of others. That we will

be people who hold people to account around us.

That there's some things around us that we will

not accept or tolerate. That we will be people

who draw near to people in those times when we

feel like pulling away. That we'll be people

who try to get objective, look at things objectively,

when all we want to do is overreact. In this

church and in your family, you are not in control

of what anyone else does. and no one else is

responsible for or can control what you do. But

you are in control of what you do. You are not

responsible for other people, but you're responsible

for how you respond to them. And this is at the

heart of how we love our complex families, friends.

We do what Jesus tells us to do when he says,

take the log out of your own eye before you deal

with the speck in your brother or your sisters.

We take responsibility for ourselves first. So

the best thing you can do to love your family

is to take responsibility for yourself. Regardless

of how anyone else behaves, regardless of what

they're doing, this is how I'm going to act.

This is how I'm going to behave. Regardless of

what everybody else is saying is cool and laughing

about and accepting, this is what I will accept

around me. And this is what I won't accept. in

your family and in your church, this is how you

love. This is how you show love. And it doesn't

sound very sexy. I get that, right? It's hard

and it's often personally painful, but it's love

as described by scripture. For those of us did

Word Week, we read 1 John 4, verse 10. This is

1 John 4:10

real love. Not that we loved God, but that He

loved us. and send his son as a sacrifice to

take away our sins. This is the scripture's definition

of love. Jesus dying on a cross for the good

of those who don't love him. Here's a Tim translation

of the principle for you. Love is an active choice

to put the good of the other above your own good,

regardless of what the other person does. This

is what Jesus does. And this is what David does

not. David wants to die in the place of his son

Absalom, but Jesus, the other son of David, dies

in the place of all of us. Jesus does not rebel

against his father, but he takes responsibility

for what he will do. He drinks the cup of suffering,

submits to the will of his father in heaven.

Jesus who like Absalom is hung from a tree. pierced

in the side with a spear, buried in a tomb of

rocks. But very unlike Absalom, Jesus dies not

for his own rebellion, but to forgive the rebellion

of his people. In love, Jesus makes an intentional

choice to act for our ultimate good, regardless

of whether or not we reciprocate that. Even just

to give us the opportunity To be reconciled to

God the Father again. See, we are God's children.

We are His complex family. And this is how we

have been loved. God through the Spirit gives

us inner resources, right, to go and do the same.

To no longer walk by the flesh, but to walk by

the Spirit. To make active choices to put the

good of others, even our complex families, above

our own good, regardless if they ever... pay,

repay the favour. This is love, not that we loved

God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as

a sacrifice to take away our sins. Even our failures

to love our own families. What good news is this,

friends? That God's grace is sufficient for you

and for me. Even though like David we fail, time

after time to love our families, to love our

church, the people in our church. We have been

loved by God with so deep and wide and high a

love. And it empowers us to fail forward, to

keep going, to keep growing, to move forward,

to become people of love in the way of Jesus.

Women and men and children whose lives day by

day are being more and more soaked by the fruit

of the Spirit. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,

goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self -control.

Friends, thanks be to God that by the grace of

Jesus all our debts have been cleared and we

have been forgiven. Thanks so much for tuning

into this week's message. If you felt challenged

or need prayer, would love to hear from you on

Instagram at encounterhenley or if you're interested

in how you can support this ministry please go

to our website encounteradelaide .com .au Thanks

again for listening. God bless you.