You're KNOT Ready: Marriage Is For The Mature // Relationship Goals: In Real Life (Part 5) // Michael Todd

Welcome to Transformation Church Podcast, where we represent God to

the lost and found for transformation in Christ. We're so

glad you're here and wherever you're listening from, we believe

God will transform your life. Do today's message?

All right? Who's ready for the word?

I love when I know what I'm about the preach

and you don't. And I love how I know it's

gonna transform you because it's transformed me. But I know

that it's gonna be some truth that we all gotta swallow.

And so I'm gonna.

Help us walk into this because we are in week

five of a series that we are calling relationship Goals.

Help me in real life?

How many people want good relationships in real life? Not

the ones you post about, not the ones that everybody's

talking about.

I'm talking about good.

Relationships in real life, not just from relationships. I want

my business partnerships to be a okay, I want I

want my relationship with everybody. I want the relationship with

my mechanic. That's a relationship that is undervalue. If you

get a good mechanic that's loyal.

Some of y'all don't know.

What's happening, but wait till your car wait, wait, what's

another relationship that's undervalue?

Your barber that a barber.

Can take your whole month out?

I mean once you oh in the house? What somebody

else said?

One? What's your what? Your plumber?

Yeah?

Yes, what'd you say? Teachers? Therapists? Ooh, that's a good one.

Your relationship with your dentists. Some of y'all don't God want.

You need one.

Relationships. It's how life works. Yet most of us either

avoid them, mess them up, or we get in so

many we don't know which ones have value. Come on,

if everybody's on the same relational value system, we don't

know who actually gets what's necessary to build How many

people have wasted time energy on a relationship that was

not actually good.

For your future? Okay, all right, so we're in the room.

If it was just me and you talking, I would

ask you, are you still in relationship with them? No?

Raising hands, don't raise hands, don't raise hands, look at me,

Because the truth of the matter is, so many relationships

stay around longer than they're supposed to to, longer than

they're assigned, and many people feel guilty because of watch

this time served? What that's my dog that's been my

dog saying. You know what I'm saying, nobody know me

like them, and that's keeping you for becoming the version

you know you're supposed to be. And so today I'm

I'm just coming to bring all of us into the

same room today because I want to tell you what

the goal of health of relationships are. Here's the goal

right here. Okay, what is the relationship goal? Set it

first week, I'm gonna say it again. The goal is

healthy relationships.

That's the goal.

That's what God wants for every person, healthy relationships. And

then healthy relationships come from what healthy individuals.

Your relationship with somebody.

Else is predicated on the toxicity.

You bring to it or the period you bring to it.

And most times all of us are trying to blame

the other person for the relationship friction problem issue. But

the truth of the matter is two people are bringing

something to it. So if you are not healthy as

an individual, you cannot have healthy relationships. Okay, I'm just

setting the ground word healthy individuals. Watch this are built

through Here are two things everybody has to be self

awareness and surrender. There are so many people just don't

know what's going on on the inside and how it

comes out on the outside, and then there's other people

who know and don't want to change it. And those

two things are necessary for any thriving relationship. Self awareness

and surrender. Last point right here. Self awareness and surrender

are the substance of a healthy soul, and everybody needs

a healthy soul, and that means you have to value

being self aware and actually walking in surrender.

So there are two groups of.

People in here that if they don't have healthy relationships,

you're either unwilling or unaware.

Which one are you?

Are you unwilling to give up the toxicity because it's trending?

Are you unaware that it's happening? Are you unaware every

time you text where you at? That that's an innocent

question if you wasn't crazy. Do you understand what I'm saying?

You text where you at thirty two seconds.

Ago, and now.

There's forty where you at texts and they were on

the toilet and the Jannath send what I'm saying and

now you're explaining. Now you've created this whole image and

narrative and they chat on me.

I knew it was she.

Now you at the job walking in making it hard

for somebody to bring a paycheck home? Why are you

because you're you're unaware that they're you.

Don't you have trust issues? This could be anywhere, but

or you know you have trust issues and you're unwilling

to change them.

Okay. The reason I want everybody to come into this

is because a lot of the things I want to

share with you today, they can't actually be applied in

your life if you're still unwilling and unaware. I can

tell you about everything that God says, but if you're

unwilling to accept it, or you're unaware that you might

need it, you literally sit here and it doesn't change

you at all. That's why some people be up here

and crying like oh God. Or some people are like

I know what to do. I'm gonna go change something,

and some people are like I need to go somewhere

where I can get fed.

Or yeah.

Because the truth of the matter is God was trying

to speak to you, but you were unwilling to hear

it or unaware that it applied to you. This is

why I always ask Holy Spirit, what are you trying

to say to me? They can be talking about any

they can be talking about getting dogs say. The message

could be all dogs go to heaven and my heart

is holy spirit. What are you trying to say to me?

Father God?

I know he's talking about rufus, but is there anything

in there. The reason I'm saying this is because if

your heart is not open, it doesn't matter what God

tries to pour in, it gets wasted. And I'm giving

some relational gems today that is gonna change your life.

But I just don't want you to waste it. Not

for my sake because if I had this, if I

got this, it would have transformed my life in different seasons.

And that's why I want your soul to prosper. Third

John Chapter one, verse two. It says below, I pray

that you may prosper in all things, somebody say all.

Things, and be in health.

Just as your soul prospers, your mind, willing emotions should

be the barometer of everything else prospering in your life.

And that's why I told everybody the second week of.

This series, soul health is more valuable than material wealth.

I know people that have committed suicide with a billion

dollars in the bank. Money doesn't do what. Houses doesn't

do it, square footage doesn't do it. Nothing does it.

Because if your soul is empty, if your soul has

a hole in it, nothing else is mouth. That's why

I want you to get healthy. Everybody, just say this word,

say healthy. Where in your life are you not healthy?

Y'all see how quiet it is. The reason it's quiet

right now is because everybody knows immediately where they're not healthy. Now,

we ignore it, We build temples around it, we try

to act that.

We know.

I'm embracing myself, I love myself, I'm doing Okay, stop,

What you're really saying is I'm unhealthy and I'm unwilling

to change that.

The reason I'm bringing.

This up is because today I'm talking about marriages. Okay,

I'm talking about marriages, and I need you to help

yourself by helping me, because some of us are gonna

have to be willing to look at this differently than

we have ever looked at it to be able to

get what God has for us in the relationship. And

all my single people hear what I'm saying to you,

you need to listen closely because if you desire to

have relationships the way God designed, this message is going

to really really help you. But you gotta be whole

in your soul. Okay, So my first point today as

I start talking about marriage, marriage is still winning. I

don't care what nobody say. Y'all can listen to culture.

You can listen to these people out here. They might

be struggling in some stuff, but listen.

Me and my wife was talking the other day.

Ain't nothing like marriage. Ain't nothing like somebody and be

able to see all of you and still.

Be like, I choose you even with this, even.

With that, Yeah, I can't stand your breath, but I

kind of like it. Like I'm talking about, I'm talking

about somebody being where to married people?

Can I get some backup in here? Ain't nothing that's

the day. I ain't nothing like. Ain't nothing like it.

Ain't nothing like coming home and my wife putting a

hand on my head and I feel the anoyancent. Ain't

nothing like looking at your kids that y'all created and

being like they just like you, They just like you.

There's nothing like being able to go through something and

make it through it.

And know that it wasn't nobody but you, that person

and God that knows actually what it.

Took to get through this. Somebody that's married that no say,

ain't nothing like it. Marriage is still winning.

You need to write it down as a point. The

reason I'm saying this is because culture is trying to

make you think that somehow it.

Might be better for you to be alone.

Now there are people who have been gifted by.

God and called to be alone.

When he's asking for that call for me, I just

didn't answer the phone because the Bible gives too many examples.

And listen, let me tell this. I don't care how

old you are either. There is still hope for you

to be an a loving, thriving relationship. I'm telling you

right now, marriage is still winning.

And the reason I'm saying this.

Is because I have to represent what the enemy watch

this is trying to tear down anything that God says

is the illustration or the picture of his love for

his church. Guess what the enemy's gonna try to attack

that thing right there, which is marriage. And now people

are making up and I mean since the invention of podcasts,

we have people who've never been in a committed relationship

telling people why they shouldn't be married. We have people

that have multiple wives but.

Can't keep one set of keys.

Let me just give you a few scriptures, marriage is

still winning Proverbs eighteen twenty two.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing.

Watch this obtains favor from the When you get a wife,

there's another level of favor that come to your life.

When me and Natalie got married.

I thought I had access to God before, but when

me and Natalie got married, there was things that opened

up to me.

I said, girl, thank you, because that was all you.

Favor comes from the Lord. Proverbs thirty one to ten.

A wife of noble character who can find one of them,

she is worth more than rubies. See y'all don' understand

because y'a ain't never seen a ruby. But it's a

fine precious metal. It's, I mean, a rock that actually turns.

Into a treasure.

God is saying that if you can find a wife

with character, that's more precious than any type of treasure

that you would find.

Watch this.

Hebrew was thirteen four. Marriage should be honored by all,

and the marriage bed kept pure. Now this is the

twoth I want to say right there. This is why

you don't talk about nobody's marriage, because the Bible says

that marriage should be honored by You don't know all

the details.

You have no clue what's going on. You might have

heard what it is.

I uh. You pray for them.

You believe that God.

If there's anything you can help y'all dealing with a

finance you need a mattress.

We got an extra one.

You try to help people who are because the enemy

has an all out attack against the family. So if

he can kill the marriage, watch this, by default, he

damages all the children. Some of you are needing prayer

right now, not from what you did, but from what

your parents did to you. Okay, it's quiet in here,

so I'm gonna keep going. Write this down. Encouragement for you,

especially my young people.

Listen to this.

Marriage works one hundred percent of the time when you

do it God's way.

I'm gonna say it one more time.

Marriage works one hundred percent of the time when you

do it God's way. This is where we can draw

context clues. A lot of people who are saved don't

do it God's way. Non Christians and Christians have the

same divorce rate.

Half of them end in divorce. I need everybody to

hear me.

That's like you saying, hey, do you want to go

on this plane ride to Hawaii with me. Yeah, the

plane only has one wing, though we're not going. Is

there a way to drive to Hawaii? I guess we're

not going because most people will.

Not get on a plane with one wing.

Yet they'll get in a relationship with somebody who does

not display godly cared They will submit, they will take

somebody's last name.

Do y'all hear what I'm saying. That sound crazy to.

Me, Yet people are doing it every day. Now, I'm

gonna give you that. We gotta do it God's way.

Just because you're a pastor doesn't mean you do marriage

God's way. Well, if the pastor can't do it, he

don't listen to God except when he's talking to you.

He got a word for you, don't got no words

for his wife. Okay, let me stop. Let me help

you be careful when they can be at your bedside

all the time. If a pastor or leader never says no,

that means they are not taking care of their family.

Oh God, if.

Jesus can only have twelve disciples and no wife and

still had to withdraw often, I'm sick of y'all. I

got forget upout it here.

I just need everybody to.

See that you can be working for God and not

doing marriage God's way. I know you ain't never heard

no pastor say that before. But that's why we be

on our second and third, and fourth and fifth wives.

It's because you can preach what it is, but it's

a different thing to live what it is. Okay, let

me keep going write this down. Culture cannot define what

God designed. Culture cannot define what God designed. So I

wanted just for the rest of this message, I got

like thirty five to forty minutes. I'm gonna walk you

through just something that I wish somebody would have told me.

And I'm gonna tell you the way I would talk

to myself now with the wisdom I got now to

the dummy I was talking to back then, y'all got me.

So this ain't really about you.

This about me and what I wish somebody would have

told me when I was at the point of getting married.

But they needed some more context, And I'm gonna give

you the context that was missing.

Most of y'all. Get ready you not ready.

The title of my message today.

You ain't ready. You not ready? You not ready for marriage?

You not you want to tie the knot no no, no, no.

You not ready. You are not ready.

Watch this for what it's going to take, not just

to get married, to stay there. You're not.

You not ready? This how am I got my dress

sticked out?

I know where we're getting, We're gonna be in line.

You're not ready, And today I need to talk to

you because I need you to understand my first point.

Marriage is for the mature, marriages for the That's not

an age I just because summit I told him he

was too young.

No, no, no, no, no. Maturity comes with a decision.

When I was young, I thought as a child, I

talked as a child, I played around like a child.

But when I grew up, I decided to put.

Away childish things.

Mature people are ready for marriage, and most people are

not ready. First Corinthian, seventy nine. This is a scripture

that I heard all my life as a young man

who was attracted to the opposite sex, and saw myself.

Hugging them closely.

But if they can't control themselves, they should go ahead

and marry.

Because it's better to marry then to burn with lust.

Y'all, I really want to stress context when we tell

people scriptures, because until I got older.

That's what I thought. I thought Paul was telling.

Us, Hey, you got lusty thoughts, you like that person,

get married, because it's better for y'all to be married.

Then you go to hell singing.

And I can't tell you how many people's parents have

given them that advice. Well, y'all sleeping together, y'all shacking up,

you got funk kids, It's better for you to get married.

Sis.

But until I started studying the Bible for myself, I

didn't get the full context of what Paul was saying

right here. So I'm gonna give it to you today.

Is that Okay, let's look at this together. Let's grow

in the word. First Corinthians. He's responding to a letter

of people in the Church of corinth that are trying

to come out of a lifestyle of having sex in

the streets and doing stuff all crazy and worshiping all

kinds of different gods.

And they said, I'm.

Gonna live for God, but I don't know how to

do this, and so they're writing and asking questions, So

like what about you know, we was having sex all

the time, like when we was doing this, can we

do that over here? And Paul is addressing directly this situation.

Look at it.

In verse six, First Corinthians, seventy six, Paul gonna get

real with these people, He said, I say this as

a concession, not a command, but I wish everyone was

single just as I am, because this stuff is hard. You.

Each person has a special different god of one kind

or another.

So I say, to those who aren't married and to widows,

it's better watch this to stay.

I'm married just as I am.

What if, Paul say, the first better was not as

better to get married? The first better is it's better

to stay single. Okay, y'all missed it. It's better to

stay unmarried as I am.

But if they can't.

Control themselves, they should go ahead and get married. It's

better to marry than to burn with lust. Let me

set some context to you. We're gonna call this bad, better, mode, better,

and best bad.

Everybody say bad. It's bad to.

Burn it flus Why because it's sin.

That's the bad one. So he's like, don't end.

On bad, because when you burn with lust, it have

you jumping in and out of windows. You felt that

over there. When you burn with LUs, you'll be spending

money you don't have.

And let me help.

All the parents say like, oh no, my kids hearing this,

they already know.

Let me just help you. If your kid is in

fourth grade, fourth grade are up. Some of y'all's in

second or third, but fourth grade and up.

And if God is not saying, if they're not hearing

anything about it from God's house, it's only being defined

by culture.

My daughters already know.

We already been having the talks, all of them except

Geah to g g to the little Why are you saying?

It's because I cannot let anybody else lead my family

into the understanding of what they're gonna It is bad

to burn with lust because when you burn in you

gonna do something to quingch it.

If you on fire, you going.

And somebody said, stop dropping roll. You got what I'm saying,

But this is what this is what he's saying. But

that's not the better thing to do. The better thing

for us to do is not just do what we want.

Go ahead and get married, because that's safe, he said.

The bad thing to do is just burn with us

and keeps in it. The better thing to do get married,

it's safe. But the mo better thing to do watch

it stay single.

That's smart.

I know no passa gonna tell you this because they

try to populate their church by getting you married. I'm

tired of doing divorces. Okay, I gotta tell you the

real deal, because it doesn't matter if y'all walk down

the aisle, the counseling, the abuse, the frustration, the children

that are brought into it. We gotta get you helped

on the front end. It's too much collateral on the

back end.

Oh God, it's easy to move when it's just you.

Now you got junior, junior, junior, junior, junior.

Junior, and now all of us got them. Yeah.

Bad, Everybody say bad, burn with us. That's sin.

Everybody say better, go ahead and get married.

That's safe.

Everybody say more better stay single, that's smart. Last one,

best to develop self control. You never thought that was

an option. You can develop self control, and we know

according to Galatians that self control is not self will.

Self control is a fruit of the So you want

to become everything, you gotta have.

The spirit in your life.

The Spirit makes you scroll past. The Spirit helped you

not look again. The Spirit reminds.

You don't call them.

It's twelve fifty nine. Nothing good's about to happen here.

The Spirit says, go to sleep.

Y'all don't know sometimes the Holy Spirit.

Go to bed, turn the lights out.

Go to sleep, turn your phone off, go to sleep.

You thought you were gonna stop getting told to go

to sleep when you as a kid. I'm telling you,

as an adult, go to sleep.

I love my church. Why are you saying this?

Pasting Mike. I need everybody to hear me say this.

I need you to hear self control. It's something you're

going to have to develop, whether you're married or not.

Oh God, because most of us don't realize that when

God's developing something for us in our singleness, he's developing

developing it in us because we're gonna always need it. Okay, okay, Apeasi.

In chapter five, that's where we're gonna camp out today,

and you can go read the whole thing. But if

you see this as an actual playbook for you to understand, okay,

let me just start with best. Let me develop self

control in in what I let in my gates and

what I eat, come on, and how I talk to

people and how I respond. Let me just develop self control.

And I can't do it by just wanting to do better.

I have to invite the Holy Spirit in to help me.

Holy Spirit, I'm angry right now, and I have a

full paragraph ready to say to them with few explotives,

only for impact, though, Lord, so they can.

Feel my heart.

And the Holy Spirit would be hey, forgive.

Them, forgive, get woozy, forgive, Pray for them the rest

of this today, Lord, don't let lightning strike their car.

Put just around the vicinity, hear me?

If he's in Chapter five, verse one, listen, how are

we going to do this?

Imitate God?

Literally, I could have stopped right here. Imitate God. Therefore,

in everything you do, because you are His dear children,

live a life filled with Here it is love, following

the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself

as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.

Most of us aren't ready because marriage is for the mature,

and that means we're going to have to watch imitate

God instead of imitating culture. And most of us have

not spent enough time figuring out what God says about

relationships to.

Know what to do.

So I'm going to give you Ephesians five for all

my married folks and want to be married, folks, because

this is going to help all of us. Ephesians, Chapter five,

verse twenty two. You've probably heard it before, but I'm

gonna read it.

This is for all the wives.

For wives, this means submit to your husbands. As to

why y'all start growing while y'all start moaning, why, oh God,

here we go again. I got you. I did it

like that on purpose, because most people never read in context.

Watch it verse twenty one.

Everybody starts at.

Verse twenty two, but it gives us the container in

verse which one twenty one, and furthermore, here it is

submit to one another.

Out of reverence for Christ. So if anybody ever.

Told you're supposed to submit to me, why'd you can

say you're supposed to.

Submit to that? Why?

Because the container of submission is submission to each other.

That's enough revelation to help you understand you.

Not ready for marriage? Watch this.

If you can't submit to another person. Some of y'all

not ready, look at to a neighbors, say you're not ready,

look at him.

Some of the oh that's my husband. No, you're ready.

Look at the reason I'm saying this is because some people.

Are just not ready. To submit.

You got your own way, your own thing, your own car,

yr own ring.

Yo own y'awn.

And you not ready because if you're gonna come into

this level of relationship, you why submit to God? No, no, no, baby,

You have to submit to another person in flesh and blood.

That means they're gonna have flaws. That means they're gonna

make mistakes. That means they're gonna get you wrong. They're

not gonna do it perfectly. And God still says, this

is a relationship that mirrors me and the church. But

are you ready to become sub to the mission? You

not ready? Because what you have to do is watch this.

I don't care, but I was worried in the house

where the man is the man? Your daddy was toxic.

Just because he provided for you doesn't mean that he

was a good You can be there and not be healthy.

Come on, man, y'all better stop. He's a man.

And when my mama, when he just looked that way,

my mama didn't she was abused. Oh God, y'all not

ready for this conversation. She was abused in that household. Well,

he ain't never put his hands on her. If a

man can just go like this, and she shrinks, can't

say what she feels, can't lovingly communicate, And now you're

trying to.

Replicate when I'll say something you hold on?

Wait?

Wait, wait?

Does that look like mutual submission? Does that look like love?

In First Corinthians, where.

It says love is patient, love is God, it doesn't

keep a record wrong, it's you not ready, pastor Mike,

how do I do this? You gotta follow? Remember what

the top of a vision said, imitate God. I have

to immitate God. That means watch this word. I'm gonna

have to practice it. I don't know why the church

feels like everybody is going to get prayed for and

then they're just gonna be something.

Oh now I can sing, No, you can't. You can't sing.

You might have the spirit to.

Want to, but you need to practice. So if you

if you have to practice any skill, why don't you

think you have.

To practice being kind? Practice forgiving.

You came in a household. Your parents never apologize to you.

That's all you've been waiting for for thirty five years.

It's for somebody to acknowledge what happened to you. But

because they never did. Now your kids, Mom, Why would

you talk to.

Me like that? Because when I'll say so and you

do darg and you get to.

And you could stop and be like, hold on, I

can I can interrupt the generational pattern right here. I

could cause transmit. You know what, baby, I'm sorry. I

don't even want to make an excuse. You don't deserve that.

Mommy is sorry for talking to you that way. You

still did not do what I ask you to do,

and we can address that. But I don't have to

stay it like that. I value you, I value who

you are. I respect you enough to talk to you

like that, because what you don't know is you're training

them to be verbally abused by men. Oh god, now

I don't hurt me.

That don't hurt me. I can take that because they

took it from you, and now.

They think it's okay when you can interrupt the cycle,

how by actually submitting one to another. Ain't y'all ain't

even ready for the scripture that tells parents not to

provoke their kids.

Some of y'all are professional provokers. Say something, say something,

say something. If y'alla fight your children, I'm sick. We

got to get healed, y'all. We got up that healed.

Jesus, my feel the presence of God right here. The

reason I'm saying this is because somebody needs to understand

the truth of God's word, even in this moment. He

wants us to walk in wholeness and into healing, and

that means all of us got to come to a

whole another level. You're not ready for marriage, and there's

some people that are married that wasn't ready.

And what you're doing right now.

Is you're you're literally dealing with the immaturity of each

other in the covenant, and that's why it seems hard.

And let me give you a hope. There's hope for you,

but you're gonna have to do work that ain't gonna

be by the way, Oh, it's just over time, it's

gonna get better.

No, it's not.

You not ready for the type of work that is

about to take. Guys, I'm like, why are you being this?

Are you trying to discourage us from getting married?

Kind of No? No, no, no, I'm like, I'm in a

I'm in.

A kind of mood right now because I want.

To let you know. I want to let you know.

That every person who brings their toxicity into togetherness will

never not be with that person ever again.

It's called the soul tie.

Maybe in a couple of weeks, I'm gonna have to

talk about it. But you're many of us are still

carrying around our first relationship. You still got that person

on you, the anger, the frustration, the hurt, the abandonment.

You married to somebody else with them still in the

relationship with you pass. I'm like, why is that?

Because until you do the work.

To figure out, how holy Spirit do.

You let that thing go out of me? All right,

y'all want to play church. You're not ready for marriage

if you can't submit to another person. It's called mutual submission.

The word in the Bible means co equal parts. This

is why it's important that you be that you not

be unequally yoked. Does everybody understand what I'm saying? All right, ladies,

can I talk to you for a second? I said, ladies,

I love doing that. Verse twenty two it talks to y'all.

It says for wives, this means submit to your husband

as to the Lord. For a husband is the head

of his wife, as Christ is the head of the church.

Some of you are so hurt. You can't even hear

that sentence? Can your husband be the head? Some of

you are wrestling with that right now, and I'm okay

with you wrestling with it, but I need you to

realize the design of God was the husband to be that.

I'm not talking about making more money than you, because

that's what people.

It's not making more money than you ball out. But

can can he speak into that?

And you listen? Okay, it's quiet in this church.

Uh huh huh.

As the church submits to Christ, so wife should submit

to their husbands. This is hard in everything. It's hard

to submit when you're safe. I mean it's easy to submit.

Excuse me, it's easy to submit when you're safe.

Husband.

I need you to understand the woman's greatest need safety.

If a lump, oh y'all, Oh y'all here, Oh she

ain't moved all service? Oh okay, clockyeat clockye okay, I'll

start with that next time, all right, fellas cheat hole.

If she don't feel safe you, she will not submit.

If she doesn't feel safe, she's not gonna be sexy.

I'm trying to give you the real. If she does, y'all,

I'm gonna have to do an uncut with real people,

because I can't. If she doesn't feel safe, you're not

going to And so this is what I'm telling you.

A lot of people are in relationships right now where

they're coexisting, but they're not seeing the greatest version of

the relationship because nobody feels and Ladies, I need to

help you. The Bible tells us. In Genesis. It says

the Lord God said it is not good for man

to be alone. So what was his remedy for man's

first problem? For Adam's first problem? What was God's remedy?

He said, I'm gonna make a helper suitable for him.

I need everybody to hear me say this.

The woman's role is to help the man's deficiencies. Culture

has made you start weaponizing his deficiencies. Well, he ain't

a man's man. He not a high value woman. It

is your job. So when that man says I'm standing

in this, you say, baby, what do we need to do?

How do we need to help you unorganize? I'm organized,

you don't know where to go. I'm making itinerary.

It is the woman's annoyinging. It is the woman's design

by God to walk into a man's world and say,

what did you dream up in that ass? I'm a helper, y'all,

don't hear me? What did you say? I can help that?

Ladies say I can help that. Y'all got to hear me.

Say this.

That is your anointing. But the enemy has let your

hurt stop your help. The hurt has stopped your help,

and you are walking out of your design by God

trying to protect yourself and fellas, it's partly your fault

because you don't make her feel sad. Okay, okay, I

just hope somebody's getting it right now. You're not ready

to be a husband if you cannot make her safe.

I'm not talking about make sure you have ad t

outside in a pit bull.

That's not what I'm talking about.

No, no, no, I'm carrying no pals even know anything?

Crack off.

Can she just share with you how she doesn't feel beautiful?

Right now? Girls? Stop driving?

Girl?

You know you fine? Girl? You don't say I don't

care a girl. She just needed you to listen.

And at the end of that, just say it doesn't

matter how you feel about yourself. How I feel about

you is you're beautifully and wonderfully made, and whether you

have everything or nothing, I'm gonna be right here with you.

Like, do you hear what I'm saying? Like hear me.

What I'm saying is safety is the woman's number one need. Ladies,

can I give you the cheeko? Honor and respect is

a man's number woman. That's why verse twenty one, not

twenty two. Twenty one says we have to be submitted

to each other. I'm gonna give you respect. I'm gonna

make sure you safe. I'm gonna give you respect. I'm

gonna make sure you say. When I didn't have no money,

my wife worked at Matt Cosmetics and she was making

fourteen dollars an hour.

We thought we was rich.

And I was trying to get my production career off

the ground musically, and I was trying to I was

trying to figure out how I'm gonna provide and do

this other stuff. And so when it came time to

go out on dates, one of our cards had some

weight to it and the other one of our cards

could fly away like it had nothing on it, and

me and my wife would go to cheddars, and this

is when I knew it. We went to pay for

the meal, and she took her card out and she

just handed it to me under the table and she

put it there.

And I'm looking at it, say Natalie on it. But

she all she was saying it didn't matter if people say.

All she was saying is I respect you.

I see you, and I.

Know what your vision is, and I will know what

the plan is and I know we're gonna be okay.

I see you.

When that woman slid me that car. I've been sliding

cars ever since yourself said just sliding cars. Here. Take

you here. No, because when she made me feel respected,

there's stuff she want to say in front of our

friends and stuff like that, and she'll.

Be like, and what she just did, I know it's

coming in the.

Car, Lord, please believe I know it's coming in the car.

But what she wanted to make sure is that she

didn't say anything in that moment where I felt this shreadspectator.

All right, they.

Not ready for the rest of this message, switching me out. Yeah,

this thing is trying to fight against me, but we

back all right, here we go. I'll just go to

this because y'all can't take all this message.

So no, y'all can't. Nah okay.

That word helper. God made a helper just right for him.

Ladies.

It's the original word is aser, okay, and that word

means helper. It's used twenty one times in the Bible

to describe God. He said, I'm going to make a

godlike figure in a woman, and God the Holy Spirit,

which is the peraclet.

Is also called the helper. He said, I'm going to make.

Not somebody behind, not somebody away from somebody cold beside.

That will be the helper to these people, to these men.

And I want you to know.

I just wanted to say for you, ladies, it's a role.

Watch this of a steam. Ladies, you were the solution

to his problem. You may have never heard it like that,

but when man had his first problem, he created you.

You were the solution to his problem. You should give

God some praise right there now. So I just want

to say this, you're not ready for marriage if you're

not willing to help, all right, If he's just five

twenty one verse twenty five, husbands, fell us, I'm gonna

try that one more time, fell us.

All right, let me talk to you, husbands. This means

to love your wives. We get that one. I love. Uh, bro,

I love her bro see bro.

Okay, just as Christ loved the church.

Okay, I can do that. Let me get some more

definition to that.

And gave up his life for her. You can't keep

an old life with her, Well, this is how.

I used to do it. You gotta be okay with

me and mine.

You gotta do No, you don't get an old life

with a new wife. You gotta give it up. Can

I say it to you how God said it to me.

You're not ready for marriage if you're not ready to die.

This is what I wish somebody would have just said

that clear marriage is a death daily.

Soon as you wake up. I have so many examples. Literally, my.

Mind got flooded. I mean, just anybody that's Mary knows

like it's just dying all the time. No, no, no,

It literally is like a constant. I've never talked to

myself so much. You're gonna make it, Mike, You're gonna

make it. You're gonna be all right. Brother.

You look at another husband and be like, if you're

gonna do.

It, God, Okay, hold up, caveall.

If you're gonna do it God's way.

He's telling you up front, you about to die. Yeah, bro,

wake up, pick up your cross. Were about to die today.

And I'm making it funny, but I just I want

you to know, like, if you're.

Not ready to die every day, you're not ready for marriage.

That's why it literally is like you can make a

plan the night before, go to sleep in the same

bad wake up the next morning, get ready to go

execute the plan, and they can literally call you and say,

you know what, never mind on that. Hold on, Wait,

I've set up, I called stuff, I moved stuff, I

did things. Yeah, we're not gonna do I'm not feeling it. Okay, Okay,

well what are we gonna do? I don't know what

do you want to do?

Hold on? Hold on?

If I had the plan yesterday, I told you the plan.

We already ah, Like it's I'm telling you if you're

not ready to die.

The reason I'm saying this, the reason I'm saying this

is because marriage is for the mature. You have to

decide to die daily, and some.

Of y'all not ready to do that.

You want what you want so bad that you're willing

to overlook the person you made a covenant with to

get what you want.

Do that, then, by yourself.

But if you made this decision, fellas, how are you

gonna become more like him? Imitate him? Die? What did

he do for the church? What did he do for

his bride? It's death to your will, death to your wants,

death to your desires, death to your preferences. I know,

I know, I know. We're taking down marriages this summer

right now, or we're preparing people to actually know what

to expect. Okay, relationis two twenty. Let me give you scripture.

I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live,

but Christ lives in me. Imitate him the life I

now live.

In the body. So my real life, in real life,

what I do in real life?

I live this by faith because I'm walking by faith

with this woman, not by sight, because it keeps changing.

I want you to see how practical God is.

Hey, what are we gonna do about this? I don't know.

We're gonna walk by faith.

We're gonna figure this out together, he said, I walk

by faith in the Son of God, who loved me

and gave himself for me. He's reminding you that you

can do this because I already did it. You can

love her like that and you can love him like

that because I already did it for you. Imitate me.

Remember when I gave myself. Remember I didn't want to

do it, but I said, not my.

Will, but your will be. I've shown you how to

do this. Now you go do it. And if you're

not ready to die daily, you're not ready for marriage.

I am convinced that in Genesis two twenty one, when

woman was made as the solution to man's first problem,

that God could have done it a different way.

Y'all know how he did it.

He put Adam to sleep and cut him and took

a rep How do we know? He cut him and

said he had to sew him back up with flesh.

Y'alln't believe me. Here we go Genesis chapter two, verse

twenty one. So the Lord God calls the man to

fall into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping,

he took one of the man's ribs and then close

up the place with flesh. He could have made woman

the same way he made man. He could have taken.

Dust right next to where he made the.

Man and blown his breath, his numa into him the

spirit woman, And stare what did he do? He said

to be an eternal symbol of what man will always

have to do. I'm gonna take something from him. He's

gotta sacrifice something. I'm gonna take his rib and I'm

gonna make her out of what he sacrifices, which gives

me revelation. Man, anything you give up for her, she

will take that thing and turn it into something you

never thought it could be. That's why you give a

wife at a woman a house, she makes sit at home.

You give that woman a see she gives you children.

You give that woman a piece of meat, she makes

you a meal.

Do you hear what I'm saying? If you sacrifice.

Something but you not already, if you give her an apology,

if you give her a real apology, she might turn

that into the marriage of your dreams, if you would

give her fidelity and stop keeping these other hucies. I

was gonna say something else, so I just said, Hucci.

That felt a little cleaner. But don't give them any time.

Don't entertain anything. Why because if you would get if

you would sacrifice something, ep men hear me. Everything you

do is not bad, it's just not helpful. So I

know you feel like, well, I.

Dang, I just can't win.

I just always everything I do.

Just hear me.

Some things you got to sacrifice, not because you did

something wrong, because it would make her feel safe. I

don't know what my life with Christ would look like

if he didn't give his life for us.

Think about it.

If we were doing this whole thing, it was like

and he was a good man and he just said

follow him, it'd be like, okay. But when you go

to that cross and you remember what he gave up

for us, it makes you be like, you know what,

I can follow somebody. Okay, Okay, I gotta keep moving.

Eph'sians chapter five or twenty six. Read the whole thing

on your own time. It's good. It says, men, you

got to make her holy and clean, watching her by

cleansing her with God's word. Can I say to you

like this, you're not ready for marriage if you don't

watch your words, say.

Everything that comes to your mind. Well, I'm just telling

the truth.

Ah. There are some words that I've said that I

wish I could jump into a time portal, and because

once they land, you cannot take away the impact of

them words. Y'all, I'm telling you there are more people

that have been hurt by words said by their spouse,

and it takes a lot of vulnerability and a true

contrite spirit to heal some of these things. Some of

y'all should just wait a minute till you get control

of this. No. I know y'all love each other, but

as soon as you make you mad, you're gonna say

something that you are going to be seeing the repercussions

of for decades. And the truth of the matter is

you don't have enough patience to wait that long to

see the transformation. You may need to hold your words

right now. Church, Why are you saying this? Gus, You

want to make sure everybody knows, like, don't just enter

this haphazardly. The reason that there had to be blood

when God made Eve is because it was the sign

of a covenant.

Let me give you another one. You're not ready.

You're not ready for marriage. If you think that it's

a contract marriage doing it God's way, it's called a covenant.

What they used to do back in the old days

is they would take they didn't have all the wadgon

bails and the grooms and all the What they would

do was slice a piece of the hand of the

bride and slice a piece and there would just be

enough blood and they would put their hands together, because

there always has to be blood when there's a covenant

being formed. Hence the reason why Jesus had to go

to the cross and they beat him, because he was

making a covenant with humanity, and he said, I'm gonna

always be here for you. This is my decision.

We're not getting out of this.

That's why the Bowles say to death do us part?

Do you mean that?

Because a contract says until you make me mad, until

I find out something, But a covenant says until.

Sickness and health.

Rich or poor, good days, bad days. You're not ready

for that. You don't even keep a cell pH on

contract the year. There's no way unless you decide I'm

gonna put away childish things because marriage is for the mature.

I'm gonna read the last part of this verse twenty seven.

Jesus gives a six example. He did this to present

her to himself as the glorious Church, without a spot

or a wrinkle or any blemish. Instead, she will be

holy and without fall. In the same way husbands ought

to love their wives as they love their own bodies.

For a man who loves his wife, actually shows love

for himself. No one hates his own body, but feeds

and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church,

and we are the members of his body. You're not

ready for marriage if you don't love yourself. Some of

you are looking for loving that person, but the truth

of the matter is you don't love you. And the

Bible tells us in Mark that you can only love

somebody else, your neighbor, to the level that you have

figured out how to love yourself. And some of y'all

ain't real nice to your neighbors. You're not nice to

Democrats or Republicans. You're not nice to people who look

different than you or vote different.

Those are your neighbors.

You're not nice to people who who like certain things

or go to a different church, or he says, you

haven't even figured out. I can tell you haven't figured

out how to love yourself because you don't like them.

So to the level that you figured out how to

love yourself, that's the only level you can love somebody else.

And I'm telling you right now, you're not ready for

marriage if you have not figured out how to love yourself.

This thing said husbands should love their wives as they

love their own body. I'm not gonna get into the

details of that, but what I'm saying to to you

is what you put in your body describes if you

love it or not. What you watch with these eyes

and put into your brain tells me if you love

it or not.

Do you hear? I know it's good.

The reason I'm saying this is because there were so

many times watch this. This is the trick of the

enemy to make you self soothed and damage yourself. And

you say it's not hurting anybody else. This ain't hurting

nobody else. I mean, it's just me, Like this ain't

hurt nobody else. And God's saying, you literally are taking

away from the person that matters the most. For you

to love anybody else, you gotta be able to love you.

That's why I went back to the beginning where I said,

your soul you need to be seen safe, secure soup

it says, I gotta figure out how to love me,

even if I didn't get that from nobody else. And

God is the only one that can show me how

to do that. So now that I got it from him,

now I can stand confident in who I am, and

now I can see my mate and see their deficiencies,

and I judge them.

That's why I.

Love is patient, love is kind. The reason I can

be patient and coind is because I knew what it

took for me. But I don't have no grace for

you to work on your stuff if I've never worked

on mine.

Oh God, all I'm saying, Church.

Is most of us aren't ready because you only can

love someone else to the level you love yourself.

Verse thirty one.

As a scripture, say this is my last scripture. A

man leaves his father and mother and his joined.

To his wife. They always say this one at the wedding.

They need to say all them other ones at the

wedd I think that's how my new wedding is from

that home. Dearly beloved would gather here because y'all not ready.

That's how I think i'm gonna do it. I think

I'm gonna do it like that, he said.

A man leaves his father and mother and joined to

his wife, and the two are united. As the two become,

say it again. The two become. It's no longer just you,

It's no longer just them. It says this watch this

is a great mystery, but it's an illustration of the

way Christ and the Church are one. He said, this

is the picture of what I want the whole world

to see on the earth. So again I say, each

man must love his wife as he loves himself godly.

He keeps saying it. And the wife must respect her

husband because this is mutual submission. You're not ready for

marriage if you don't see the mystery as a miracle.

He said, there's a mystery to marriage. Well, Mike, you

said I'm not ready. I'm saying like, you gotta do

everything you can and then trust God for the because.

There is a mystery to marriage. There's some stuff.

You'd be like, I want to know everything, and God

be like, you're not gonna know. I'm gonna show you.

Take my hand, woman, take my hand, man, and we're

gonna walk together. He's trying to get us back to

the picture of Adam and even the garden.

That's what marriage should look like.

Man and woman walking together in the cool of the

day with God. God can speak to you, change you.

God can speak to him, change him, and we continue

to walk together. But there's a mystery that goes along

with that. I'm praying for this next generation of people

who get married that they would be ready when it's

time to get married. I believe in the next fifty

years we can change the divorce rate for Christians.

I need somebody with faith we can help.

But transformation comes with understanding first.

Standing.

All over this building, God, I thank you. Everybody.

Listen to me real quick. We're about to leave.

But if you're in a place where you desire to

be married, I'm going to pray for the wisdom of

God to show you. Now, these are just the points

that I pull out that I had in the time

that I had today, But there's so much more. But

I'm going to ask God to give you wisdom on

how to prepare for the relationship God has for you.

And then there's a second group I want to pray

for for all of those who are already married. And

there have been tensions. There have been knots that have

been tied around y'all that have just seemed to really

stop your forward move I'm praying that God is about

to allow y'all to get.

Into unity.

And that you're going to be able to watch this

reverse engineer the dysfunction that's what I heard in my spirit.

There are some things that has just been like this,

and you don't know how to get out of it.

And God's gonna buy his spirit and through these teachings,

he's gonna help you reverse engineering it. Oh, I do

just be talking. Every time you make me mad, I'm

gonna start being quiet. I'm gonna apologize. We're gonna go

to therapy. We're gonna get some new tools. We're gonna

get in a small group with other married We're gonna

get in a tribe with other married couples, so we

know we're not the only ones going through it. But

in isolation, the enemy picks people off. Today, I believe

God's gonna do a work. Would you lift your hands

all over this place. Father, thank you for those who

desire to be married. Father God, You've given them a

spare grace and desire and want. And today I just

thank you Father, from the youngest all the way to

the oldest. I thank you, Father God, that you're about

to give wisdom how to prepare.

Father.

I thank you that we will not let culture define

what you have designed. I thank you that marriage is

still winning, and I thank you Father that it is

the picture of what you want all people to see

here on earth, a sacrificial, mutually submitted relationship where the

it's joy and love and peace and legacy. It multiplication, transformation.

I pray it over this church. I pray it over

everybody listening. For those Father God who are hurting right

now and they've stopped helping and they've stopped making safe places.

I thank you for healing the hearts today. God, I

thank you that you would mature all of us so

that we can walk into the full measure of what

you've gone relationships to be.

Father. For those.

Who have been married a long time, Father God, but

the passion is gone and they haven't seen.

A spark in a long time.

God, I'm asking you, in the name of Jesus, Father God,

would you help him literally reverse engineer the dysfunction the

words that have tried to tear down. I think that

those words are coming out of hearts right now, Father God,

that people are forgetting, Father God, even the ramifications of

past seasons where there's been infidelity, Father God, or hurt

or pain.

Father God.

I'm thinking you, Father God, that you are making all

things new. Father God, I thank you that you are

revealing and resurrecting. Father, God, your grace and mercy in

marriages right now, thank you for the greatest seasons of

their lives. Today, God, I'm asking you to do a

deep work so that we all can live with healthy relationships.

We need you, Holy Spirit. We can't do this without you.

There's some people in here just in this same spirit.

I feel the presence of God because healing is happening.

The past few weeks, we've just been letting God minister

to people at the altar and letting worship go for

because there's something that's happening, and I feel like there's

some people that really need personal ministry, and so here

in just the moment, I'm gonna have the altar workers coming.

If you're watching online, I just want you to stay.

I want you to stay in this present because you

don't move when God's doing heart surgery. Anytime there's a surgery,

God's healing marriages.

Even your husband may.

Not be here or your wife may not be here,

but you don't know what God's doing right now. The

Bible tells us that the faithfulness of one spouse can

literally save their entire household. Y'all, I'm telling you there

are some things that are happening right now that you

got to just let God do his work. But if

you want to create a covenant with God today, I

want you to get into the greatest relationship goal and

have in real life. It's a relationship with Jesus. And

when I talk about a covenant, there was blood that

was shed so that your sins could be forgiven and

my sins could be forgiven. And He took me when

I accepted him, from being a liar, a manipulator, addicted

to pornography. I have very dark things in my heart.

And he did not make me a perfect man, but

he made me a progressing man. And I'm telling you

my life today has transformed. I wouldn't trade it for

anything in the world. And today I want to tell

you it's your day of salvation. If you're in this room,

or you're watching online, or you're watching it a penitentiary.

God has aligned everything for this moment of destiny, and

I'm telling you right now this is your moment.

On the count of three.

If you want to be included in a prayer that

says Jesus, I want to make you the lord of

my life.

I just want you to slip your hand in the air.

You can do it digitally, you can do it in

this room. You can do it watching on rebroadcasts, if

you're at the gym right now, or you're in your car.

I want you to know this is the thing that

God is going to recognize in heaven the moment you decide. One,

you're making the greatest decision of your life.

Church. I need you to begin to pray.

Because somebody's eternity is in the balance right now.

Two.

Your name is gonna be written in the Lamb's Book

of Life, and your eternity is going to be safe

and secure. If you want to receive Jesus, slip your

hand in the air.

Three.

Right now, I see hands right there. I see hands.

I see hands. I see hands. I see hands. Brother,

I'm proud of you. I see hamp come on transformation

in church. There's hands all in the chap glory of God.

You can put your hand down, bro, I see you.

Man. This is a new day for you. And this

is what I'm gonna tell you. This decision right here

changes all the other ones.

This is a keystone habit.

This is one that changes everything else. And that Transformation

Church where family, nobody prays alone. I feel the presence

of God in this place. If you would just lift

your hand in the international sign of surrender and just

say God, come on everybody, thank you for sending Jesus

to make a covenant with me today. I give you

my life.

I repent and I turn to you.

I believe you live, you die, and you rose again

with all power just for me. Change me, renew me,

transform me. I'm yours forever in Jesus' name.

Can we celebrate all over this place?

Hey man, oh, come on, all that heaven is rejoicing

right now. You just made that decision. I want you

to text saved to eight two eight two eight two.

Our team is going to send you some information and

as the altar workers come right now.

I just believe that.

There there's healing coming from people right now. If you

need prayer for anything, I feel the presence of God.

God is about to heal, restore, He's about to renew.

I feel the presence of God in the name of Jesus.

If you need healing and your heart relationally, if you

need healing for your marriage, this is a beautiful time

for you to come. I want you to come from

all over this place. I'm telling you right now. If

there is anything that is going on, yeah, I want

you to come. There is no shame for getting prayer.

There is no shame for asking God to meet you

at the point of your need.

And I believe that this week.

God is going to begin to do something. He's gonna

make you ready. Come on. I might not be ready,

but I can get ready. Come on, somebody. Father, in

the name of Jesus, I thank you that you are

drawing people to your pattern over everything else. Marriages will

live and not die.

We give you glory.

Relationships will live.

And not die. We give you praise. We thank you

Father for your word coming true.

We need your Holy Spirit. You are welcome. Cheer Father,

do what nobody else can do.

Thank you for joining us today. If you said that

prayer and accept it Jesus into your it's the best

decision you could ever make. We want to celebrate with you,

and we have some tools to help you on your journey.

Tech saved to A two A two A two and

to find out more about TC text connect to A

two A two A two. Be sure to subscribe and

share this podcast with your friends, thanks for listening. Now

go out and live a transform life.