A Father's Duty

Well, I tell you, God's put a word on my heart for this weekend for the men of the church.

Whether you are a physical father or not, God has called you to spiritual leadership, men.

And there are many sons and daughters that are looking to you for your leadership in the Lord.

And so I want I want to talk to the men of the Gateway family this weekend, okay?

Now, girls, you can listen in.

And uh I there's gonna be some points you'll want to nudge your man to say amen before you do, okay?

But I I I love the privilege of of being with our men.

We we are in such a dire need today.

We are living today literally in a war zone.

There is a battle going on for the hearts, the minds, and the souls of our families and especially our children.

And every day they walk out into a war zone that's competing for the truth of their minds and their hearts.

And we as men have to be ready to lead our families in the struggle and then the battle that we face every day to victory.

That's a men's role.

That's a men's challenge for us today.

I want you to look at our lead verse today, found in Ephesians 6, chapter 4.

I'm excuse me, Ephesians the sixth chapter, verse 4.

Look what it says.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children by coming down hard on them.

Note this: take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the master.

Take your child by the hand and lead them in the way of the master.

Right there is the call of God through the Apostle Paul to we men of the church to assume spiritual leadership of our families.

We have got to realize that we've got this natural call upon us.

Most of us in the natural have no problem thinking about what we would do.

We would lay down our lives to physically protect our families.

We're going to provide for our families.

And we want to prepare our families to be successful in life.

How much more that is upon us as men of God, men who are servants of Christ, to challenge, to be challenged in our lives to also spiritually do those elements for our family.

So let's look at them.

The first thing I want you to look at is that we have been called to spiritually protect our families.

Okay?

You know that we're in this battle and this struggle.

Look what Jesus says in John 10, 10.

He writes this the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy, but I have come that you might have life and that you would have it to the full.

So he he talks about our real enemy.

We have a real enemy that's trying to rob, kill, and destroy everything that God has intended for good for our family and for our children.

So we have got to be ready to take on this enemy.

The Apostle Paul puts it this way in Ephesians 6:12, for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, he says, but it's against the rulers and against authorities and against the powers of this dark world and against spiritual forces in heavenly realms.

Ephesians 6:12

Wow.

Men, we've got to put on the armor and we've got to be ready to go into battle.

So here's really my first point.

Men, you have to be armed for the battle.

Are you armed for the battle?

Are you ready for the conflict that you're about to face?

Because here's what I know.

Your family will only be as strong as you are strong.

If you are weak and unprepared for the battle, your family becomes vulnerable in the battle.

And the next thing you know, we're having spiritual casualties around us because we weren't ready for the conflict.

I tell you what, when you get into a place of real danger, you better be equipped and ready to handle that danger, whatever it may be.

I love Africa.

I uh first time I was ever in Africa, I was over there doing some ministry with Dr.

John Maxwell, some leadership training, and we were in Nairobi, and then out of Nairobi, I said, Well, man, we got to go on safari.

So we went out on a photo safari, and I didn't even have a camera.

I'm on a photo safari with no camera.

Hello.

It's really funny.

I I bought a disposable camera in the camp.

And so for the close-ups, I would hand it to the person in the front seat.

For the wide angle, I'd hand it to the person in the back seat of the Jeep we were in to try to take shots.

I mean, that's how bad it was.

So I got bored riding around in the truck looking at all these animals.

I wanted to get out on the ground.

So I said, Is there any way we can do a walking sofari?

So yeah, tomorrow morning you can go out and walk in on a walking sofari.

I said, good, I'd like to do that.

So I had this Maasai warrior guide, he's got a spear and a stick.

And we had this other African with me.

He had a 375 H loaded with at least a 300 grain shot.

And he's following me.

So we're walking around and we're having a great time.

I'm enjoying us seeing all the animals.

We round this corner and suddenly we come face to face with a herd of buffalo.

And and the the lead bull in that herd did a mock charge towards us.

I mean, boom, he comes running.

And the guy says, freeze, freeze, don't move, don't move, don't move.

Well, what am I gonna do?

I'm standing there.

And then next thing I know, this bull's pound, and he's trying to do another charge towards us.

And and and my my tracker says to me, this Massai, he said, Listen, you see that stand of bamboo over there?

We're gonna run for the bamboo.

Run for the bamboo.

Now that that hit me real quick right there.

I've got two young Africans and me.

Okay?

Now, come on, run for the bamboo.

I I know who's gonna be the last guy hitting the bamboo, that's me.

So I turned to the guy that had the rifle and I said, You hand me the rifle, you guys run for the bamboo.

I'm gonna bust that buffalo up.

So I made a determination there.

I said, God, if you get me out of here, I'll never come into a place like this again.

Unless I got weapons hanging all over me.

I tell you, now when I go to Africa, I look like a Mexican bandit.

I got stuff hanging everywhere.

I got multiple rifles, machetes, you name it, I got it.

I'm ready to go.

I'm gonna take them guys on.

You gotta be armed, men.

And Paul writes the truth so well to us, he said, be strong in the Lord, in his mighty power.

And he said, put on the full armor of God so that you can what?

So that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.

And if we don't have on the full armor of God, we cannot take that stand against the devil's schemes.

We gotta have so much truth wrapped around us that that truth has transformed us, and our kids are bathed and protected by the truth of God's word.

We have on a breastplate of righteousness that talks about our right relationship with God because it's about the heart being right, so that we can help our children's hearts be right and protected in the things of God.

We have on the helmet of salvation because our minds have been transformed by the renewing of our minds in Christ, so we can have wisdom and discernment and pass that wisdom and discernment on to our children.

Our feet are shod with the gospel of the peace.

We walk in the ways of God.

As you walk in the ways of God, you find the protection of God, the care of God, the presence of God.

And you want those things overshadowing you and your children.

Amen.

And above all, we take up the shield of faith by which we can quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one, and you can protect your children behind that shield.

And then praise God, we're not just all defensive in this battle.

We've got a sword, the sword of the spirit, the word of God.

It's a double-edged sword, it will cut right to the core of all things.

And we have got to be men that are warrior.

We are warriors by nature in the spirit, and we go to battle for our families.

Because remember, if you're not strong, the family's vulnerable.

We've got to stand strong.

And one of the greatest places we must go to battle every day, men, is we've got to hit our knees in prayer.

We've got to be men of prayer because we have to pray over our children.

I I love this verse of scripture in James.

It's a great verse.

The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

I didn't do everything right raising my kids, but the one thing my wife and I did do, we prayed every day over our kids.

And we prayed with our kids.

There's something powerful when you pray with your spouse, when you pray with your kids, when you create an atmosphere in your home where prayer is a natural response where we go there.

Men, we have got to be ready to go to battle in prayer.

I now come on, guys.

I know our wives are more spiritually sensitive than we are, they're more spiritually mature than we are, they're more, they're spiritually deeper than we are.

But let me ask you something.

Would you dare, if a battle was raging, put armor on your wife and tell her to go out there and fight in the battle while you're sitting at home sipping on your sweet tea?

No way.

So why is it in the spiritual realms we expect the wives to do the fighting for the family?

Come on, men, you need a man up.

You need a man up.

Well, I just got convicted.

I convicted myself on that one because I know my wife prays a lot more than I do, but I'll tell you what, guys, we got to take on that responsibility.

And I want to tell you something else.

You can't do it alone.

Men, we have to team up in covenant with other men.

If we really are going to be in a position of strength to protect our families, we've got to be in covenant with other men.

One thing I love about your pastor, he's a man who's in covenant with the men of leadership right here at Gateway because I've been with them in their meetings and I've seen how they pray over all issues, and they they are there to strengthen one another.

And when men are together, praying together and building real covenant relationships together, it strengthens us.

The Bible says, your faith will strengthen my faith, and my faith will strengthen your faith.

Iron sharpens iron.

It's a principle that's so true.

We are vulnerable alone, but when we got other godly men who are strong and equipped and armed for battle standing around us, baby, you better not mess with us or our family.

In Jesus' name, of course.

See, I'm glad that I had that covenant with your pastor.

I had that covenant with Steve Doolin, one of your pastors.

We're in covenant.

We pray for each other.

We pray for each other's family all the time.

I have men that that all across the country and even in other nations that are in covenant with us to pray.

And they're calling out my children by name every single day.

And I remind my kids of that.

When they're in a place of struggle, I say, listen, I want you to know something.

You know that that men are calling out your name right now before the throne of heaven because they're in covenant with us.

Because it takes that men.

So I tell you, men, you need to get connected with other men.

I don't know if you're in small groups or life groups or whatever group you call it.

You need to be with other men.

You need to team up and you need to pray with them.

You need to be there ready to stand with them in the struggle to save our families and to protect our families.

Come on, give me an amen, somebody.

You know it's true.

You know it's true.

We cannot go in to battle alone.

Just because the kids are out of the house doesn't mean they don't still need your prayers and protection.

In some ways, they need them more now than ever before.

Come on, grandpa, what about them grandbabies?

Talk to me.

So, men we're called to protect our families.

Remember, they're vulnerable if we're not strong.

We have to stay spiritually strong.

We have to stay spiritually connected.

We have to stay spiritually nourished in the things of God.

So we're strong and ready to protect our families.

Not only are we called to protect our families, but we're also called to provide for our families.

I was always taught that you're not a man if you don't provide for your family.

I mean, my dad worked so hard, and he had worked multiple jobs to try to provide for his family.

Because that's what you do as a man, you provide for your family.

Well, what about it in the spiritual realms?

What about spiritual provision for your family?

You know, I think it's so important as I thought about this.

I I it came down to two things I just wanted to narrow it down to when I think about we're men, we need to take leadership in providing this spiritually for our families.

And the first area is this it's encouragement.

We need to be a source of encouragement to our families and to our children.

And that's what you say and how you speak and how you speak over your children.

You know this verse of scripture in Proverbs as well as I do.

And I I've heard your pastor teach on this.

He did a whole series on this.

In Proverbs 18, it says this the tongue has the power of what?

Life and death.

I don't know about you, but I like people speaking life over me.

Your children need to hear you speaking life over them.

Look what Paul says in Ephesians 4 29.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Wow.

My daddy's family never read that scripture.

They didn't know how to say something positive about you.

It was just not in their makeup as a family.

Their theme song was the old Hee-Haw theme song.

You have to have gray hair and not much of it to remember Hee-Haw.

Despair and agony on me.

Deep dark depression, excessive misery.

If I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.

I mean, can you imagine going around with that kind of tone and attitude about your life?

Oh my goodness gracious.

I never heard my dad say good game, encouraging word, nothing.

He didn't know how to do it.

I remember one night I ran for five touchdowns and 276 yards in the first half.

Now that's a pretty decent game.

Now listen, hey, we were praying Rosarian School for the Blind, but it was a good game.

I'm telling you, it was a good game.

They were the weakest team in our league, but we were playing a good game.

And I ran up to my dad over that game like a little puppy dog.

I ran up just like a little puppy dog, wanting him to pat me and say, Yeah, good game.

No, he had to critique the bad plays I had and the miss tackles I had.

And you know, you could have run better if you had done this and made that break instead of that break.

I'm going, Dad, just say something positive.

Oh my goodness.

Praise God from mama's side of the family.

Their theme song was, and you can sing it with me, zippity-doo-da, zippity-yeah.

My oh my, what a wonderful day.

Come on, Gateway, plenty of sunshine heading my way.

So, where do you think I gravitated?

I gravitated to mama's side of the family because over there they were speaking life and encouragement.

My grandfather was saying, Tommy, God's hands upon you.

Tommy, God's got great things in store for you.

Tommy, God's gonna use you one day.

Tommy, just remember, you're you're a you're a child of God.

He kept speaking that stuff over me.

You never know what God's got in store for your children.

You need to call out the champion in your children.

Isn't it amazing that when when Samuel went to Jesse's house to pick the next king, Jesse did not even call in his uh his youngest son David, didn't even call him in the house to be be interviewed by the prophet.

Isn't that amazing?

Jesse didn't know he had a champion out in the shepherd fields under his own roof that was one day going to be king of Israel.

You never know what God's got in store for your children.

You need to speak the best over them, speak the life over them, encourage them.

They need to get encouragement from the Father.

Here's the second thing you need to provide.

You need to provide inspiration for your children.

They need to find inspiration when they come with you.

And that's in what you do.

I like this verse of scripture in Proverbs 20.

It says, The godly walk with integrity.

Blessed are their children after them.

Integrity.

Two words.

Integrity inspires.

It does.

Integrity inspires.

Aren't we looking for authenticity in our world today?

Aren't we looking for transparency in our world today?

Aren't we looking for integrity in our world today?

We're desperate for it.

And when we find it, it becomes inspirational.

Let me tell you another two-word tweak that's a good one.

You ready?

Character influences.

Character influences.

When there's true character, it will levy such great influence.

And men, our children, need to look at us and see integrity.

They need to see godly character.

It will inspire them and it will influence them.

It will begin to shape their very lives.

I like this quote by Keeneland.

He said, My father didn't tell me how to live.

He lived and let me watch him do it.

See, back when I grew up, we didn't have a whole bunch of books on how to lead or how to live or how to raise your children.

And Dobson hadn't written that book yet, and all that other stuff hadn't gone on.

So we didn't have any stuff, you know.

But what we did had, what I was fortunate enough to have, is I had a godly grandfather who modeled a life for me of loving God and loving people.

And modeled a life of integrity and character.

How to love and treat people, how to be passionate about the things of God.

I tell you what, we we need men in this day and age that will have enough courage to say, children, follow me as I follow Christ.

Now I'm not perfect, I've got a lot of flaws, I've made a lot of mistakes, but I want you to know one thing.

My heart is passionate about seeking God.

And here's one thing I've learned about passion.

It's contagious.

And what you're passionate about, men, most likely your children will take up that same passion.

My grandfather was passionate about God.

He was also passionate about the outdoors.

I can't get enough of the outdoors.

I love fishing.

I love hunting.

I love anything that has to do with the outdoors.

Just stand me somewhere in the outdoors in the woods, and I'm a happy boy.

I'm just happy out there.

I just, I love it.

I just pray for me.

My wife thinks I love it too much.

She thinks I've gone overboard with this thing.

But you know, we capture those passions.

And I'll tell you something else, dads, that we need to do for our children that's inspirational.

They need your manly embrace.

My dad never hugged me as a child.

He didn't know how to.

He'd never been hugged as a child.

He'd no one had ever told him the words I love you.

I never heard my father ever say those words.

Praise God for a grandpa.

I don't know what it was about my grandfather's family.

Their last name was Steinbergen.

It's a Dutch name.

Now, they must have been Dutch Italian because when we went in, you had to go in, and it was like a scene from the Godfather.

You had to go and kiss and hug on your way in, and you kissed and hugged on the way out.

And you kissed and hugged everybody in the house.

So was ever in the house?

If we're all having a family reunion, you go around kissing and hugging, kissing and hugging, kissing and hugging, kissing and hugging.

Then you eat.

Then when you're done, you kiss and you hug, you kiss and you hug, and you leave.

We were the kissing huggingest bunch you've ever seen.

So how do you think Don and I raised our children?

And hugging.

Yeah.

I remember back when you could still greet people at the airport at the gate.

And our son Todd was finishing up his first semester of college and come home for Christmas break, and I'm standing at the gate waiting for him to walk off the plane.

He walks off the plane, and there's my son, and he's a freshman in college.

He walks off the plane.

I run up, give him a hug, and I kissed him right on the lips.

Some woman gave me a look like, what are you doing?

And I said, It's my son, it's my son.

And Todd whispered in my ear.

He said, Dad, listen, when we're in public, would you not kiss me on the lips?

So I haven't kissed him on the lips anymore.

I just I kiss him on the cheek now.

But my grandson, fair game, come here, baby, come here.

Come here.

I'm getting all the hugs and kisses I can get.

Dads, our kids need that affirmation.

They need that touch.

They need that embrace.

They need it.

And finally, not only do they need us to protect them and to provide for them, they need us to also prepare them, to spiritually prepare them for victory in their own lives.

We've got to take the responsibility.

We're so concerned about education today for our kids and getting them the right skill and job training and everything else so they're ready for life.

But hey, what about preparing them spiritually to be victorious in life?

Look at this verse in Psalms.

I love this verse in Psalms.

Psalms 112.

It says, Happy are those who fear the Lord.

Yes, happier are those who delight in doing what he commands.

Their children will be successful wherever, excuse me, successful everywhere, and an entire generation of godly people will be blessed, and they themselves will be wealthy, and their good deeds will never be forgotten.

You need to write that puppy dog down, okay?

Because I'm telling you, that is a great promise.

That's a generational promise.

And what's the condition?

Men, that we walk with God.

Men, when we walk with God, nothing but blessings follow us for our children and our children's children.

I'm a result of that.

I I was thinking the other day, I was, I was, uh, I was back home at Christ Fellowship, and my grandson, uh, my son's son, was up leading worship.

He he he led off the first worship song, playing a guitar, and he's he's singing lead-off worship.

And of course, what what the grandpa's doing, their grandsons are up leading worship, they cry.

So I'm standing in front of the road crying.

Remember, I'm Dutch, Italian, Irish.

I think that's what I am.

Somewhere, I don't know where that is, but I'm somewhere in there.

And so I got tears in my eyes.

I'm looking at my grandson, he's leading worship, and I'm blown away.

And then my son comes up and delivers the message.

And I'm thinking, how blessed am I?

But then I realized, see, it was my great-grandfather who was a circuit riding preacher in the 1890s, who used to be a town sheriff, and he'd pack a pistol with him when he rode his horses from little town to little town to preach the gospel.

I like pistol-packing preachers.

I don't know what it is, but I just, it seems natural.

I I'm in Texas.

I know half the men in here are packing, so I'm comfortable in here in Texas.

You know what I mean?

Ain't nobody gonna mess with us in Texas.

I'll tell you that right now.

You you don't mess with us in Texas.

I thought in that something, I was looking at my grandson, realizing he caught the passion of generations before him who walked with God.

And we are now reaping the benefit of those generational blessings that are upon our family and upon my son's family, and upon my grandson and his family, and generations to come.

Men, here's the key.

If we want to see true spiritual growth and strength in our children, where they're equipped for victory in life, we must model spiritual growth in our own lives.

It's critical that we model this.

What I'm thankful is my grandfather lived that life and modeled how to walk before me.

And I'll tell you what else he did for me.

He left me a roadmap.

Not only his words, in his life, but I'm blessed to have my grandfather's Bible.

And he wrote in his Bible, and he he would write down devotions, and he would write prayers in his Bible, and I found things he wrote about me in his Bible.

I have a treasure in my Bible, and I know everything's so electronic now.

We're all using our iPhones and our iPads and everything smart to read your scriptures and study, but you know, you're not gonna leave your iPhone to your grandson.

Get the Bible out and write down that thing and record some things in that and leave a roadmap in God's word for your children for generations to come.

Let your life speak of that.

Because here's what simple truth: your spiritual health impacts the spiritual health of your family.

So as you grow, so does your family grow.

It's not a big secret here, guys.

And so I got a question for you.

What are you doing to keep yourself growing in the Lord?

How engaged are you in actively pursuing the things of God?

How engaged are you with the church?

How engaged are you in serving and ministry?

Man, I tell you what, I tell our men all the time, you you need to be worshiping with your kids.

You need to be serving with your kids.

That you need to model that.

When you come to church, don't just stand there with their hands in your pocket when we're doing praise and worship.

Get involved, get engaged, get your hands out of your pocket.

It's not gonna kill you to get one of them up.

Remember, your kids capture your passion, they follow that.

James Baldwin said this, and I and I love this children have never been good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.

Is that not true?

And have you noticed something, guys, that the older we get, the more we start acting like our parents.

It's scary.

I walked by the mirror not too long ago with my shirt off, and I walked by this mirror and I saw this profile of my father.

And I said, Oh my goodness.

I now have made a covenant with myself to never walk in front of that mirror again unless I have a t-shirt on.

I got a t-shirt on, covered up.

Why do you think I'm wearing black today?

Black covers, black covers.

I'm telling you, black covers.

I'm gonna tell you this too.

When you model spiritual growth, you promote it.

When you model it, you promote it.

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not run from it.

Look for ways to engage your kids in ministry, establish that priority in your home and listen.

Be committed to keeping yourself healthy and your family healthy.

And then you'll be manning up in a spiritual way to lead your family as God intended.

Stu Weber said this the measure of a man is the spiritual and emotional health of his family.

And let me say this.

I don't care how bad you think you've messed it up in the past, but from this day forward you can resolve I'm gonna be the man God's called me to be.

I'm gonna be the father God's called me to be, I'm gonna be the spiritual mentor God's called me to be.

Well, I don't know if you've noticed while I was sharing the message today.

I have this World War II helmet with me here on the platform.

Because it reminds me of a story of Captain James Dyson, who on that eve, when they were getting ready to storm the beaches of Normandy in 1944, the Allied forces were now making the major invasion into Europe.

It would be the turning point of World War II, and the beaches were horrific.

We lost tens of thousands of men died on those beaches as we stormed the beaches of Normandy.

And the night before Captain James Dyson was leading his squad onto those beaches, he was on board and he found some red paint and he painted the back of his helmet red.

When one of his lieutenants saw this, he said, Captain, what are you doing?

You're gonna be a target out there with your helmet painted red when we hit the beaches tomorrow.

He said, No, I want my men to be able to clearly see me because when all hell breaks loose on that beach, I want them to look forward and see my helmet and advance behind me.

So, men, are you willing?

Are you willing to have the courage to paint your spiritual helmet red and say to your family, children, follow me as I follow Christ.

So they can experience the victory that God has ordained for them to experience.

I want to ask on all of our campuses, I want to ask all of our men to stand, all men to stand, not just fathers, I want all men.

You may not be a physical father, but I want you to all stand, men, because all men, you have been called and ordained by God to be a spiritual leader.

And there are those waiting for you to take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the master.

And I want to challenge you to be willing to commit to become that spiritual leader that will protect, provide, and prepare those God has entrusted to you for victory.

I've got a little pledge.

I'm gonna put it on the screens.

And I want at all of our campuses, this is our prayer and our commitment as men, and I want you to speak it out boldly as men.

Don't give me any whimpering little things.

Come on, reach down deep, get that man voice coming out of you, and I want you to proclaim this with all your heart.

And let's say it together.

Here we go.

Ready?

I pledge to spiritually protect, provide, and prepare my family for victory.

In Jesus' name, amen.

Give it up a shell of victory.