Derwin Gray | First Conference 2019

All right, thank you.

You guys uh are are are so so kind.

So I'm I'm originally from San Antonio, Texas.

Yes, yeah, and so um there was a couple of desires for this trip.

It is I wanted some real barbecue, nothing against North Carolina, South Carolina barbecue, but I wanted some barbecue that is so good, they don't even give you plates, they just give you paper.

And that's so I I knew I was home.

So uh uh Pastor Robert and Debbie, thank you so much for uh just your kindness.

Uh one of the things I've observed about your pastor is uh as we would talk, we would talk about local church and ministry, but he would really light up when he talked about his kids, and um that meant something to me.

That his greatest joy was when he was like talking about his kids, and so I appreciate that tremendously.

And then um I want to honor my wife.

Um, y'all were so kind, but uh Vicki uh is my best friend, so we met when I was 18.

I know, right?

And so we have a daughter that's 22, a son is 18.

I know we don't look like we're old enough, thank you very much.

Uh but she actually came to faith about six months before I did, and was just instrumental in the Lord uh bringing me home unto himself.

And I just appreciate her leadership, her friendship, and uh, she's the greatest Christian example um that I know.

And I'm not just saying that because she used to throw the javelin in college.

She did, by the way, she threw the javelin in college.

So if any of y'all don't like my sermon and mess with me, you better run fast because she'll throw that javelin and harpoon you.

So, well, baby, I love you so much.

Uh, thank y'all so much.

Can we pray?

Let's pray.

Uh, Father, in the name of Jesus, the name that is a great above every name, the name that is absolutely stunning and beautiful and life-giving and transformative, that defeats the power of sin, death, and evil, the one who rose from the dead, the Alpha, the Omega, the bread of life.

It is in his name that we ask that you be made famous, that you do a work in us that is unexplainable except for by your grace.

And God's people said, Amen.

Amen.

Well, I like y'all.

Y'all clap on prayers.

I hope Transformation Church is watching.

Here's a question for us.

Question for me.

Um, will you let Jesus rewrite your story?

Will will you let Jesus rewrite your story?

By the way, he he's a phenomenal artist.

And he will turn your life into a canvas in which he creates this mosaic of beauty that reflects him.

Will you let him rewrite your life?

So, so so salvation, so in the Greek to be rescued, to be delivered, man, forgiveness is great.

Man, I'm so thankful God forgave me for stuff.

And if you're like me, you probably got things in your life that you would like for no one ever to know about.

And the great thing about God's forgiveness is through the blood of Jesus, he throws it into the sea of his forgotten memory.

And every time you try to remind him, he goes, I don't know what you're talking about, Willis.

But not only does God forgive us, but he actually rewrites our story in such a way that what's true of him is true of us.

What's true of him is true of us.

What's true of him is true of us.

I had to say it three times because the first two times I didn't really believe it.

That grace is so stunning that we are interwoven and locked so much so into Jesus because his blood is the glue that seals us forever to him by the Spirit's power, that when God the Father sees Jesus, he sees us.

But there's a great deception that's going on that the evil one doesn't want you to know that.

The evil one wants you and I to separate ourselves from Christ.

Have you ever heard of if it ain't broke, don't fix it?

I think that's the evil one's theme and anthem.

In the Garden of Eden, and also through the nation of Israel, and also through you and I, the enemy has deceived us.

He's deceived us with three deceptions.

He tells us we are what we do, he tells us we are what others think, and he tells us we are what we possess.

Three simple deceptions.

One of the things that we do at Transformation Church is we often say this, the scene of the crime, and then the congregation says, Is your mind?

So just to fill it home, I want you to say that with me.

I'm gonna say the scene of the crime, and you're gonna say, is your mind.

One, two, three, the scene of the crime, that's where the great deceptions take place.

And so what Jesus wants to do, and what he has done, is he wants to rewrite our story so that when the tempter and the deceiver comes, we can remember who we are and whose we are because of what he's done.

As a matter of fact, we learn about this in the Gospel of Matthew.

And by the way, I really love the Gospel of Matthew.

It's written by this guy named Matthew.

Uh but Matthew was a tax collector.

For those of you that are tuning in from around the campuses, maybe you're new to Christ, maybe you're exploring Christ, and maybe some of us need to be re-refamiliarized, but but Matthew was a tax collector.

That was as low as you could get in the Jewish society because what tax collectors did is they took money from the Jews and gave to the Romans who oppressed them, and so the Jews would hate them.

And isn't it cool that Jesus told this outcast, marginalized tax collector, yo, follow me?

That's the Hebrew.

Yo, follow me.

Isn't it cool to know that someone like Matthew, God used to write this gospel?

So I want to let you know you can't outrun his grace, you can't outsend his love, you can't get away from him.

He loves you like that.

In the Derwin Gray Hebrew translation, bring your busted up toe up from the flow up self to him, and he will transform you.

So let's uh let's look at Matthew real quick, and and the scenery is this Jesus gets baptized in the Jordan.

Now, Jesus, 100% God, 100% man, he wasn't baptized because he sinned, he was sinless.

He was baptized to identify with our story.

Jesus rewrites stories.

As a matter of fact, the Bible says this that Jesus is the last Adam.

Why?

Because the first Adam messed up and Jesus cleaned it up.

You appreciate that over there.

I've seen that, I like that.

Jesus had to redo that.

And so, what the enemy does is what the nation of Israel, God does this epic work, He He delivers the nation of Israel through the Exodus, the Passover, and they get to the wilderness, and what does Satan do?

He goes, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

And he begins to deceive, and the nation of Israel doesn't have radical obedience, they have radical disobedience.

So Israel crossed the Red Sea.

Jesus is baptized, kind of like quote unquote, the Red Sea.

Israel goes into the wilderness, and then Jesus is led by the Holy Spirit into the wilderness as well.

So Jesus is even rewriting the story of Israel, and you and I right now are in the wilderness.

And the same temptations that came to him are gonna come to us.

Like the enemy isn't gonna make it so obvious that you're gonna destroy yourself.

Hey, have an affair and lose your whole family, it's gonna be great.

It don't work that way.

The scene of the crime is your verse 4 of Matthew 4.

Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.

So Jesus had just been baptized, and he's led into the wilderness by the evil one to be tempted by the devil.

Why?

To overcome the three temptations that Israel had and that we still have.

After he had fasted 40 days and 40 nights, he was hungry.

I bet he was.

Now notice this.

Then the tempter approached him and said, Look, this right here is for free for you married folks, and for one of you, for those of you who God calls you to get married, please don't have arguments when you're tired.

First of all, men, you're never gonna win.

But just don't.

But he but he came when Jesus was tired, and and notice what he says: here comes deception, number one.

I am what I do, performance-based living.

He's about to tempt Jesus to say, Jesus, really show me who you are.

If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.

Jesus answered, It is written, man must not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.

So immediately Satan is saying, Jesus, you are what you do.

As a matter of fact, that's pretty much the way we're born into this world.

We are born with a performance-based mentality.

So here's my story.

My mom was 16 when she was pregnant, my dad was 17.

Uh, both of them struggled with mental health issues and substance abuse issues, so my grandmother primarily raised me.

But from an early age, I felt that I would be lovable if I could only do something for people to love me.

My grandfather, he provided, he cared, but the reality was he worked about 16 hours a week and he was just tired.

And so I always felt like, okay, what do I need to do for someone to love me and accept me?

Okay, now my football career did not start out well.

First team I tried off for was Pee-Wee League.

I was like nine.

I got cut from Pee Wee League.

I didn't make the team.

Pastor, do you know how bad you have to be to get cut from Pee Wee League?

I've never heard of anybody getting cut from Pee Wee League football.

So my career didn't start off too well.

Anyway, about 14, 15, I start developing, I start growing, and up, uh I went to Converse Judson High School down in San Antonio.

Yeah, we're pretty good.

Thank you very much.

Anyway, um, so something began to happen though.

Wait, if the if the crowd cheers, does that mean they like me?

And then and then you begin to build your life on what you do.

Well, if I do this, people will love me.

And by the way, you guys are brutal on Twitter with football players.

This is what I say to everybody.

If you don't like the way football players are playing, every spring they got try-outs.

And you can just go do it better if it's so easy.

Especially him.

He's talking about the cowboy.

I'm like, you will you come out and run the ball.

And so, just like you, you think that love is found in what you do.

Love is found in your performances, and even my wife, I mean, I love her dearly, but the first time we've seen each other at 18 and 19 years old, she didn't just then go, hey, I don't know you, but I love you unconditionally.

I'm gonna be with you forever.

Like I had to earn her love.

And so what happens is things are going pretty good.

I make it one year in the NFL, two years in NFL, three years in NFL, I'm team captain.

You're four and five.

I started getting injured, and you start getting injured, other people take your place, and all of a sudden you wonder, where is your place?

Because your whole life you're taught, I am what I do.

I earn love by what I do.

As a matter of fact, I think a lot of us are in that place.

A lot of us who follow Jesus subtly, subconsciously, we think, well, Jesus will love me if I pray more, Jesus will love me if I do this more, Jesus will love me if I do this more.

And we live in this constant state of am I sure he loves me because I haven't done enough.

You know, maybe if I did something better, my father who lives six blocks away would have come to just maybe one game in middle school, maybe one game in high school, maybe one game in college.

As a 20-some-year-old man, I would still look up in the crowd to say, Well, maybe he may have come.

Many of us think that we are unlovable because we haven't performed well enough.

You know what's interesting is when Jesus comes out of the baptism waters, and this is really important, what had Jesus done up to that point?

Like, we know early in John chapter 12, like his parents lost him for a couple days at the temple.

John 12 · chapter mention

What was Mary and Joseph doing?

Like, Mary, Mary, like, hey, uh baby, um, have you seen Jesus?

I I thought he was with you.

Man, Jesus at the temple, like teaching theology.

I mean, but what did he do?

Up to that point, we haven't really heard anything.

But when Jesus came out of the waters of baptism, look what his father said.

His father said this a voice from heaven said, This is my beloved son with whom I am well pleased.

Now remember, this is Jesus in his humanity, not in his deity, but in his humanity.

His father says this this is my son in whom I'm well pleased.

Well, guess what?

If you're in Christ, that's what God the Father says about you.

No, no, no, listen.

He doesn't say it about you because, no, no, no.

He doesn't say it about you because, and no, no, no.

He says it about you because you're in Christ.

That when Jesus was on the cross, you were with him.

That when Jesus was in the tomb, you were with him.

That when Jesus came out of the tomb, he drove you out with him.

So therefore, you are in Christ and Christ is in you, period.

Now listen, it is not based on your performance, it is not based on your behavior, it is based on his performance and his behavior.

Now listen, that right there will supercharge your faith.

You will become incredibly gracious and incredibly kind when you realize that God has done that for you.

As a matter of fact, the apostle Paul says this in Ephesians chapter 1, verses 3 through 6.

Ephesians 1:3–6

Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavens.

Now, notice this in Christ.

That's one of the phrases that the Apostle Paul uses over and over.

In Christos, in Christ.

That little word in literally means that through faith in him, teenagers, listen to this, through faith in him, you are interwoven into him.

For he chose us, there he comes again, in him, before the foundations of the world.

Think about this.

Before your daddy saw your mama and said she's fine.

God loved you.

Willie Nelson made a song popular.

He said, You're always on my mind.

He lied.

The only person who can say, You've always been on my mind is Jesus.

There has never not been a moment that you have not been on his mind.

To be holy and blameless, holy means to be set apart like you're his.

And blameless means that your sin and my sin was nailed to Jesus and his blamelessness was nailed to us.

And why did he do it?

In love.

Because he loves you.

What makes you lovable is not what you do.

What makes you lovable is who he is.

You see, you see, the Bible says in 1 John 4:8 that God is love.

1 John 4:8

So love is not something God does.

Love is who God is.

And teenagers and young adults, there's gonna be some things that come in your life, situations and circumstances that are gonna make you question God's love.

Whenever you begin to question God's love, look to the cross, look to the cross, look to the cross, keep looking to the cross, and you will see for God so loved, put your name there.

He loved you.

He predestined us to be adopted as sons and daughters through Jesus Christ for Himself.

Isn't that amazing?

God adopted you.

And in the ancient Greek world, Jewish world, when a person was adopted, you could not unadopt them.

God goes, you forever mine.

And why did he do it?

Listen to this.

According to the good pleasure of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace.

Now watch this.

That he lavished on us in the beloved.

Can I just have a moment?

He lavished us in the beloved.

The beloved is Christ, and you're in Christ, and God the Father goes, I'm gonna lavish.

It's like a dump truck pulls up, and instead of garbage coming out, it's love, it's grace, it's mercy, it's kindness, it's goodness, it's all of who He is.

He lavished on you.

Why?

Because you're in Christ.

Friends, this is the motivation for obedience.

Kindness is what leads us to repentance.

Like, I want to be faithful to my wife because I love my wife.

18 years old.

She goes, Do you have credit?

Like for like for school?

I mean, I didn't do too good last semester, but I think I had a few credits.

She no, no, no, like credit, because one day, you know, you're gonna need to, you know, uh get a house, get a house?

What?

Nobody in my family owns a house.

Anyway, she goes, okay, let's go.

We're gonna go to the Exxon and we're gonna open up you a credit card, and what you're gonna do is every month, you're gonna pay it off, you're gonna build your credit.

Do you remember that?

I remember that.

I got a crazy memory, man.

With our children, she has a condition called hyperimesis gravidum.

That's a lot gravidarum, that's a Latin word for throw up all day, every day.

And I watched her bring our kids into the world.

It was painful.

Like nurses had to come over.

One time a nurse came over who had to feed her intentiously, that's through IVs.

The nurse had two glasses on, two pairs of glasses.

I'm like, Lord, help us.

But but but I want to be faithful to her because I love her, and that's the same thing.

When we understand God's radical, lavish love, it produces obedience.

So, so deception number one is I am what I do.

The gospel reality is no, you are what Jesus has done.

When you get wrapped up in what he's done, you begin to get wrapped up in worship.

And worship isn't just a song we sing, it's a part of it.

Worship is a life we live in response to his love by loving ourselves and loving others.

Deception number two is this I am what others think of me.

It's the myth of popularity.

I am what others think of me.

Now, oftentimes we think of this positively, you know, like, okay, there's only so many times you can put your face on Instagram, like it ain't changed since yesterday.

No, seriously, it really has not.

Like your kids' faces ain't changed since yesterday.

I get it.

Now, in my generation, it's a little bit harder to always have your kids everywhere, but when your kids hit about 14 or 15, they're gonna be like, mom, quit taking pictures of me.

Stop sharing.

Not parenting, sharenting.

Y'all catch that?

I read that in an article the other day, though, so don't think I'm smart.

But I want to take it from another perspective.

For some of you, you heard words like this.

You'll never be nothing.

Look at you, I told you you would fail.

Oftentimes, emotional abuse through words lasts longer and are more deadly than physical abuse because sometimes the scars can heal on the outside, but it's the scars on the inside that never heal that end up hurting us the most.

Some of us are trying to outrun our past, knowing in reality that you can't outrun your past, but your past will run past you and always be in front of you.

When I was a little boy, um I was running around the house with my Fruit of the Loon underwear on, and the Houston Oilers were playing.

That's how old I am.

And uh still to this day I hold a football that's like my pacifier.

And so I was running around the house and I was listening on TV, and they were like, uh, a player signed a contract.

So I was messing with my granddad, and I was like, Grandpa, well, let's let's sign a contract.

And I was just a little boy in my fruit and loon underwear.

And he said, uh, people like you just dream.

Oh, it was devastating.

But now that I look back, he was tired.

He was he was a recovering alcoholic.

He he was taking care of like five, ten kids and whatnot.

The man was tired.

So I give him grace, I forgive him, but I never forgot that.

And even when I signed a couple of pro contracts, I was like, yeah, dreaming does help, doesn't it?

But that didn't heal the scar.

And some of you have got scars that you are what others think.

For some of you who've gone through a divorce, you are that divorce.

For some of us who are battling addiction, now please understand this.

This isn't for every case, but like 40-something percent of people who have addiction issues, it's not a character problem, it's a chemistry problem called self-medication.

And so stop judging and start helping.

Let me say that again.

Stop judging and start helping.

I come from a family that's been ravaged by substance abuse addiction and mental health issues are tied directly to it.

Now listen, do I believe in prayer?

Do I believe God can deliver?

And I believe in medication too.

How many of you go on mission trips to like India?

I bet you get them malaria shots.

Just, nah, man, the Lord will deliver you from the malaria.

Don't get no malaria shots.

You be right up there getting the malaria shots.

God made medicine.

So whatever that issue is that you've heard that you are, Jesus experienced that too.

Listen to this.

Matthew 4, 5 through 7.

Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on a pinnacle of the temple.

And he said to him, If, notice this, if, did y'all catch that?

If.

If that's what he wants you to do.

Question.

Doesn't that whisper sound familiar?

That's the same serpent tongue in the Garden of Eden.

Did God really say?

If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down, for it is written, He will give his angels orders concerning you, and they will support you with their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against the stone.

Jesus said to him, It is also written, Do not test the Lord your God.

Now here's the interesting about the evil one.

He loves to quote scripture.

That's Psalms 91, verses 11 and 12, but he didn't quote Psalm 91, 13.

Psalms 91:11

This is a Psalm 91:13.

Psalms 91:13

You will tread on the lion and the cobra, you will trample the young lion and the serpent.

He left that part out.

The scene of the crime is your.

Matter of fact, if you're Egyptian, you may know the word Abibi.

It means near my heart.

So Abba, Abba means near my heart, that that we are what our Father says we are, that we are his children.

Now notice this: to become a child is not something you achieve, but it's something that you receive.

You don't achieve it.

You have it because you are born again into God's family, that you are a child.

Listen, I don't care if you're a CEO.

I mean, that's awesome.

I don't, whatever your title is, mom, dad, husband, wife, whatever your title is, all of it is secondary to you are a beloved son and daughter of God.

For those of you who have children, you know you would die for your kids.

You know that you love them with a love that is unwavering and unending, and even when they don't understand it, you have their backs.

Well, imagine if we broken people can love that way.

Imagine how the how the perfect, infinite loving Abba loves you.

You, you, you, you, you, you see, that's that's the trampoline, that's the fuel that moves us into the world because the enemy wants to strip away it's your dignity.

How you feel about yourself is how you treat yourself.

If you want to know how a person feels about themselves, look at how they treat other people.

And by the way, the way you and I treat other people is called worship.

The greatest worship song that you could ever sing, that I could ever sing, is love your neighbor as you love yourself.

Here's gospel reality number two.

You are what God the Father thinks of you.

Deception number three.

I am what I possess.

The deception of possessions.

This one right here was one of those three-prong hooks that not only had me, but I think it has many of us because we are Americans, right?

I mean, we we we we we are and we've been taught the American dream, which by the way, we can't even afford the American dream.

I mean, our nation is like eight trillion, gazillion, billion.

We can't even count that high in debt, so we can't even afford the American dream.

We broke.

But so so I grew up shopping at a store called Hand Me Downs.

That meant my cousin, who was four years older, handed me down his clothes.

And so I was that kid that would go to school and the the clothes wasn't nice, and I was the kid that I don't know if they do that in school now, teenagers, you can help help me out.

Um, but I had the blue card, which meant I got my food free because we're on welfare.

And and so immediately my world was if you get money and possess stuff like like you've made it, like, like you're there.

How many of us believe that our worth is found in our net worth?

How many of us are running ourselves ragged or feeling horrible?

Matter of fact, for some of you millennials and younger or older generation Z, like you feel like you're unsuccessful because you're not the CEO of your job after six months.

It's like I'm not a millionaire already?

Geez, only been it's been a month.

What in the world's going on?

Let's look at the text and I'll make some more commentary.

Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain, showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor, and he said to them, I will give you all these things if you will fall down and worship me.

Here's the deal.

We are not what we possess, we are who possesses us.

Now, now now hold on.

Now, is it wrong to have things?

Of course not.

Shoes, I got them some new underarmors, man.

They feel good to my feet.

I got a lot of miles on these feet, man.

It's nothing wrong with having stuff, but when stuff has you, everything's wrong.

And I want to challenge some of you men.

I promise you, the size of your house will not make the greatest impact on your wife and kids.

It'll be the size of your presence and purpose and emotional connectivity and spiritual connectivity in their lives.

I promise you.

Like, like, like yes, God wants us to accomplish incredible things within our gifting, but here's the deal that doesn't mean that you're not successful because you're not the richest or the smart smartest or the brightest.

God is looking for lovers.

Look what he tells Satan.

I'm gonna skip here, but but look what he tells Satan.

He says this.

Then Jesus told him, Go away, Satan.

For it is written, Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.

Why do we serve him only?

1 Peter 1, 18 and 19.

Let this word speak over you, let it soak over you, for you know that you were redeemed.

That means to be bought.

You were set free from slavery, from your empty way of life, inherited from your father's.

Now look what Jesus bought you with teenagers.

I want you to get this.

Teenagers, I want you to get this.

Teenagers, I want you to get this.

You were bought not with perishable things like silver, gold, or bitcoin, or mutual funds, or real estate, but you were bought with the precious blood of Christ, that of an unblemished and spotless lamb.

That's what you were bought with.

That's who bought you the spotless, unblemished Lamb of God.

Think about it.

What could be greater than that?

The greatest of the greats is, I want you.

I'm gonna buy you.

Ladies, look, look, look.

Listen, I love my wife, but I can't love her like Jesus.

My wife loves me, but she can't love me like Jesus.

As a matter of fact, she loves Jesus more than she loves me.

That's why she can put up with me.

You and I were purchased.

The gospel reality number three is you are not what you possess, but who possesses you?

Verse 11 says this of Matthew 4.

Then the devil left him, and angels came and began to serve him.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

We don't want to be susceptible to the three deceptions.

You are not what you do, you are what Christ has done.

You are not what others think of you, you are what God thinks of you.

You are not what you possess, you are what God possesses you.

And like a good football player, you got to think about this all day and every day and soak in it so you can play the game of life.

Uh, let me finish with with this story.

So uh Pastor mentioned that my son uh Jeremiah is gonna be playing football at Wake Forest, and uh man, these last few years has flown by.

Man, it has been amazing.

Like senior year over, he had a great year, he balled out, it was beautiful, uh awesome.

But when he was a little boy, we would go places and travel, and then sometimes he'd stay home, and when I would come home, I would go through the garage and I'd get down on one knee, like this, and I would say, Big Bull, big bull, because he's just been big since birth.

It is it is ridiculous.

So I'm like 5'11, he's like 6'1, 6'2.

It is ridiculous, right?

So he's just been big.

Like he's had a size 14 shoe since he was like 12.

It's just crazy.

So big bull, and so when I would say big bull, wherever he was in the house, he would run.

And I would open up my arms and he'd say, Daddy's home.

And then he'd smash into me and I'd grab him and I'd kiss him and I'd touch his face.

He won't dare let me do this now.

And I'd kiss him on the lips, I'd kiss him on the head, and I'd say, son, your daddy loves you so much.

I'm so proud of you.

Son, no matter what you do in life, I'm proud of you.

I just thought of this.

Huh.

So in the state championship game, he actually uh broke his leg.

And so I was on the field and he was laying there, and so I got down by him, and you know what I said?

I said, son, man, I love you.

Man, I am so it was like the exact same thing I've been telling him all these years.

And like we had this moment, even though he was in pain, like he's great now, six, six weeks later, he's out of his boot.

I think the doctors use like vibranium from Wakanda to fix it.

I don't know.

It's amazing.

Um but uh uh so like so like we had this moment, and I would just embrace him, just say, son, I love you so much.

Well, 2,000 years ago at a Jerusalem garbage dump when Jesus was on a cross, as God the Father said, I love you so much.

You are who I say you are, you are who I think you are, and you are because you are mine.

Will you pray with me?

Let's pray.

Father, I thank you so much for the power of your spirit.

I pray that these words would penetrate deeply into our hearts, that that beautiful name of Jesus, that name that is above all names, that we would realize that He has rewritten our story and that we no longer fall prey to the evil one's deception.

We love you, Lord, because you first loved us, and God's people said, Amen.