What's Love Got to Do with It?

Hey everyone, my name is Jelani Lewis, and I'm the campus pastor at the Frisco campus.

So, first of all, shout out to the Frisco family.

I also want to welcome everyone else that's joining us, especially our Jackson Hole campus, because they have so few COVID cases in that area.

They're actually able to gather together physically in their sanctuary this weekend.

And so we want to first of all say we're jealous, but then secondly, we are really excited for you guys.

I am so honored this weekend to continue the series Love Thy Neighbor as we are talking about really how we treat one another.

And I want to let you know about a great resource that Gateway has to continue this conversation.

You can actually go to our Unity page, which is at gatewaypeople.com slash unity.

And there's some resources there.

There's conversations, there's testimonies, there's uh information from pastors and leaders all over the nation to help us continue this conversation.

So I encourage you to go there and check that out.

If you have your Bible, I want you to open it up to John chapter 13, John chapter 13, and we're gonna start at verse 34.

John 13 · chapter mention John 13 · chapter mention

As you are making your way there, let me just share a little bit about my heart for this message, because uh I recognize that anytime we begin to talk about very sensitive topics like prejudice or racism or division, it can be very sensitive.

And so I want you to hear my heart as we as we begin this conversation.

I recognize that people are in different places.

There are some of us that because we're having this conversation, you are excited.

And then there's some of us that because we're having this conversation in your honest moments, you're actually exhausted.

Listen, there are some of us that because we're having this conversation, it is reopening wounds for you because you have experienced racism in the past.

And then there are some of us that unfortunately it's a wrestle because we've expressed racism.

Then you have a group of people that are saying, listen, this is a difficult conversation because I feel misunderstood in this.

And then there are some of us that, frankly, we just don't understand.

I want to tell you today that wherever you find yourself on the spectrum, here's my prayer for all of us in this series.

I'm praying that, first of all, none of us would feel condemnation because that's not the heart of God.

But I'm praying for those of us that are hurting, that God would comfort you, those of us that are confused, that God would bring clarity.

And for all of us, I'm praying that the Holy Spirit would convict us.

Because as Pastor Robert talks about, he says that the Holy Spirit convicts us to convince us that God has something better for us.

And listen, church, God has something better for all of us.

So I'm praying that he would convict us today.

And so that's my heart.

So I want you to go to John chapter 13, verse 34.

John 13:34

And just a little context here.

In this passage, we find Jesus in the upper room with his disciples, sharing with them the night before he's crucified.

And here's what he says in verse 34.

So now I am giving you a new commandment.

I like new things.

Okay, so tell me about this, Jesus.

He says, love each other.

Now that's not the new part.

Here's the new part.

Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.

Now here's verse 35.

Your love for one another will prove or show the world that you are my disciples.

Your love is going to show the world that you are my disciples.

The title of my message today is What's Love Got to Do With It?

What's Love Got to Do with It?

And my subtitle is Learning to Love Like Jesus Loved.

I want us to pray for a moment.

Father, I pray in these next few moments you would open our eyes to see wonderful things in your word in Jesus' name.

Amen.

I have what my family would consider the quintessential Lewis nose.

Okay?

This nose that you see is the same nose that my father has, it's the same nose that his father has, and so on.

And it's become really an identifying characteristic of a Lewis.

In fact, the Lewis nose in my family is such a big deal that when my wife was pregnant with our first child, I'm sure that my dad was concerned about the health of the baby.

But I'll tell you his biggest concern.

His biggest concern was, would this little girl have the Lewis nose?

I remember going to the doctor and uh we're getting a sonogram, and listen, I can't even like read those things.

It's like hieroglyphics to me.

But I remember this this doctor prints off the picture, and I'm looking at this picture, and I can't understand anything on this picture, but I am shocked because there is one thing I can recognize: the nose.

Listen, that nose was so massive, it actually scared me.

I'm just being honest with you.

I was scared.

I didn't tell my wife, but I was actually afraid.

I remember getting in the car and I called my dad.

I said, Dad, listen, let me just tell you, you ain't gonna have to worry about this one.

She definitely has the Lewis nose.

And in fact, when delivery day came, I remember my daughter was born, and one of the nurses walked in and she sees my daughter for the first time.

And no lie, here's what she said.

She yelled out, Oh, you know who her daddy is.

You know who her daddy is.

Listen, she says that because this little girl had the perfect Lewis nose.

The nurse was able to identify who her father was because of what she saw.

In John chapter 13, Jesus gives us what I call the nose of Christianity.

John 13 · chapter mention

He says that the world should know, as they look at us, the world should know who our father is or who we're following because of the love that we have for one another.

It's not because of our music, it's not because of our denominations, it's not even because of miracles.

He says the distinguishing factor for believers should be the way that we love one another.

This is a question for you today.

I wonder if one of the reasons why we have so many problems with racism and prejudice and division in our nation isn't simply because we live in a fallen world?

What if it's because the world doesn't know who we follow?

Let me say that again.

What if some of the problems that we have with racism and prejudice and division aren't simply because we live in a fallen world?

What if it's because the world doesn't know who we follow?

In other words, when the world looks at us, they don't know who our father is or who we're following.

Because we haven't figured out how to love one another.

Today I want to talk about loving one another and what it really looks like to love as Jesus did.

And so if you're taking notes today, point number one is this love looks like a commitment to serve.

Love looks like a commitment to serve.

In verse 34, Jesus gives us the command, but he actually gives us an example towards the beginning of that very same chapter.

Let's look at verse one.

It says, Before the Passover celebration, Jesus knew that his hour had come to leave this world and return to his father.

He had loved his disciples during his ministry on earth, and now he loved them to the very end.

So let me pause there.

He's continually showing them love, and now he's showing them love even up to the end.

So there's commitment here.

So we see this commitment.

Let's skip to verse 4.

It says, So he got up from the table, took off his robe, wrapped a towel around his waist, and poured water into a basin.

Then he began to wash the disciples' feet, drying them with the towel he had around him.

Okay, I want you to get this picture.

So Jesus is there with his disciples.

Remember, he is the King of kings, the Lord of Lords.

He is God in the flesh, the Savior of the world.

And he gets up from the table.

He wipes the crawfish etuffet off his face.

I say that, listen, I'm from Louisiana, so I like crawfish, okay?

But he gets up from the table, takes off his robe, ties a towel around his waist, picks up a bowl, puts water in it, and he goes over to his disciples and he begins to wash their feet.

Now listen, as he's washing their feet, they are probably in shock.

And here's why.

Because the disciples understand what Jesus is doing.

They understand, listen, because the first century Jews, they didn't have paved roads.

And so if you were going to go from place to place, you would walk on a dirt road with sandals on.

And in essence, by the time you made it to someone's home, your feet were covered in dirt and sometimes even animal dung.

And so as you would go into this person's home, there was a servant there.

The lowest servant in the house would actually take a water basin and wash your feet.

I remember in the small charismatic church that I grew up in in Treeport, Louisiana, my pastor would do what I call surprise foot washing ceremonies.

Like you would show up, you didn't know they were gonna do that, but all of a sudden, as you walked in, you see the water basin in front of the auditorium, and he would begin to wash people's feet.

And he and his wife, First Lady, they would wash everyone's feet in the auditorium.

And I remember, you know, it was a small church, so they could do that, but I remember going up to the front and you would sit in the chair, and what they would do is they washed your feet.

They would actually sing a song over you.

So they go, Jelani, let me be your servant.

Let me be as Christ to you, so that I might be your servant, and you'll be a servant to.

Listen, here's what they were trying to do: they were serving me so that I would be inspired to serve other people.

And listen, this is what Jesus is doing in this moment.

He kneels down and he serves his disciples as an expression of love.

And his heart was that as you see me express love in this way, that you would commit to serving others.

When you think about serving, it really is pretty simple.

It's simply meeting the need that you see.

And that's what Jesus did.

I mean, Jesus did this all the time.

Essentially, when he's in the upper room, he washes their feet because there's no one there to do that.

So he says, listen, I'll do that.

And we see this all throughout scripture: that Jesus, he would see a need and he would meet the need if somebody needed to be healed, if somebody needed to be fed, if someone needed to be taught, Jesus would step in and he would meet that need.

But here's what's interesting in Scripture.

Before he met a need or served someone, he often felt something.

I want you to look at a couple of scriptures with me and just see if you can identify what Jesus felt.

This is Matthew chapter 14, verse 14.

Matthew 14:14

Jesus saw the huge crowd as he stepped from the boat and he had compassion on them and he healed their sick.

Matthew 9.36, when he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless like sheep without a shepherd.

Luke 7, 13, when he saw her, his heart overflowed with compassion.

He said, Don't cry.

You see the word compassion used in those three verses?

In fact, Jesus even uses this word in some of his parables to describe some of the characters in Matthew chapter 18.

Matthew 18 · chapter mention

He uses this word to describe the king who is settling his accounts and decides to forgive the servant of his debts.

In this particular instance, compassion was a catalyst to forgiveness.

So the reality is that compassion often precedes service.

When you look at the Greek word that's translated compassion, it's used 12 times in the Gospels.

One time there's a man asking Jesus to have compassion.

Three times Jesus uses it to describe the character in one of his parables.

And eight times it's used to describe how Jesus felt before he met a need, how he felt before he served.

And every time it's used, it always leads to a subsequent action.

You cannot have compassion without action.

So if compassion is a catalyst to service, the question becomes, what is compassion?

The Greek word that translated compassion literally means to be moved in your inward parts.

That you see something, you say, I just I have to do something.

The etymology of the word compassion is actually when you break it down the Latin prefix tom, which means together or or with, and then the root word passion or patae in Latin, which means suffering.

And so compassion means literally to suffer with.

To suffer with.

And listen, it's different from empathy and sympathy because compassion always demands an action.

You think about this, even in the story of the Good Samaritan in Luke chapter 10, you know the only difference between the Good Samaritan, the priest, and the Levite, it was not where they were.

Luke 10 · chapter mention

It was not what they saw.

It was actually what they felt when they saw what they saw.

Here's what the Bible says in Luke chapter 10 about the uh the Good Samaritan.

Luke 10 · chapter mention

It doesn't describe any feelings for the priest or the Levite, but it says this about the Samaritan in Luke 10, 33.

Then the despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him.

Listen, when he saw this man, he was moved in the inside.

When he saw this man, he suffered with him.

He didn't see them, he saw us, he saw humanity, and when he saw humanity hurting, here's what he did.

He said, I've got to do something about this.

Here's my question for you today.

When you see black men hurting, what do you feel?

When you see brown women hurting, what do you feel?

When you see white people hurting, what do you feel?

And some of you may or may not know this, but my wife is white, and and uh it's funny, you know, when we get together with our families, we hang out with my side of the family, it's like the reverse blind side movie.

Like there's nothing but black folks, and then there is my my beautiful white wife looking like Snow White, okay?

And then and then when we go with her family, it's like the blind side, but it's still weird because they're all tall and I'm short, so it's complicated, okay?

But but here's what my daughter, my daughter, who's six years old, her name is Judah, uh, here's how she describes our family.

She says, she says, okay, mommy is vanilla, daddy is chocolate, and I'm caramel.

Listen, I want to say something to my vanilla and my chocolate brothers and sisters.

Listen, I want to speak directly to you because I recognize that there are many other people watching this from different backgrounds, but in America, the major tension historically and currently is between black people and white people.

And so let me say this to my white brothers and sisters.

I want to challenge you to ask God to give you a heart of compassion.

Because, like the good Samaritan, we need you to care.

We need you not only to acknowledge, but to become an ally.

We need you to care enough to carry burdens with us so we can move forward.

To my black brothers and sisters, I want to challenge you to ask God for compassion.

Because, like the king in Matthew 18, who canceled the debt of his servant, we need you to have compassion enough to forgive so that we can receive healing.

And for all of us that are watching today, we need to ask God for compassion because compassion leads us to serve, and love looks like a commitment to serve.

Here's point number two love looks like a conversation.

Love looks like a conversation.

When we return back to the story in John chapter 13, now we find Jesus indulging in a conversation with Peter.

John 13 · chapter mention

Now that's not surprising.

Peter's always talking in scripture, but when we pick up this story, here's something we have to understand.

I recognize that that love expressed through serving in this particular passage is the preeminent thought.

I get that.

But I think we would be remiss if we removed looking at the entire chapter through the context of love.

Because listen, Peter or Jesus did not stop loving when Peter started talking.

No, their conversation is actually a continuation of this expression of love.

So listen to this conversation.

This is John chapter 13, verse 6.

John 13:6

So it says, when Jesus came to Peter, Peter said, Lord, are you gonna wash my feet?

Jesus replied, Well, you don't understand, Peter, you don't understand, but someday you will.

So Peter then protests, No, you will never wash my feet.

And Jesus replied, Unless I wash you, you won't belong to me.

So then Peter changes his tune and he's like, Okay, Lord, then wash my hands and my head as well, get under my armpits, the back of my ears.

I mean, he just takes the whole thing.

He's like, just wash me.

I want to be with you.

It's just like Peter.

But here's what's interesting about this conversation.

I think it has some implications for where we are in our nation that we really need to understand.

First of all, Peter asks a question.

Peter asks a question, and Jesus does what he always does in Scripture.

He gives a kingdom perspective for an earthly problem.

In fact, I don't know if you've ever thought about this before, but many of Jesus' teachings were responses to questions that people asked.

You've got in Luke 10, who is my neighbor?

We got the story of the Good Samaritan in Matthew 18, how many times should I forgive?

And now we have a teaching on forgiveness.

In Mark 10, James and John say, can we sit in the seat of honor?

And then Jesus teaches on leadership.

And the list goes on and on and on.

He consistently gives kingdom perspective for earthly problems.

Listen, I've heard people ask, why do we have to talk about this?

And especially in the church, why do we have to talk about injustice and prejudice and racism and division?

Why do we need to talk about those things?

Let me tell you why we have to talk about them.

Because the world is asking questions.

The world's asking questions.

And listen, the news is not going to give them a kingdom perspective for an earthly problem.

The people that we follow on Instagram that are celebrities, listen, they're not going to give us kingdom perspective on earthly problems.

The only people that are called to give kingdom perspective for earthly problems is the church.

So we have to talk about this.

We have to talk about this.

Secondly, notice that the conversation led to a better understanding for Peter.

Peter initially he's uncomfortable with this.

He doesn't have a clue what's going on, but as he continues to converse with Jesus, his understanding begins to grow.

Conversations can lead to understanding, and understanding can lead to unity.

Jelani, what do you mean by this?

Well, we'll go to Genesis chapter 11, verse 6, and remember this story.

Genesis 11:6

This is the story of the Tower of Babel, okay?

And the people are building a tower to the sky, and really they're doing this as a monument to themselves.

And they get God's attention.

God says, Listen, I'm gonna come down and I've got to see what these people are doing.

And so as he he gets there, he begins to look at their work, and here's what he says in verse 6 it's pretty amazing.

He says, Look, the people are united.

They all speak the same language after this.

Nothing they set out to do will be impossible for them.

That's incredible.

So then he says this, come, let's go down and confuse the people with different languages.

Then they won't be able to understand each other.

Okay, get this picture.

Jesus says they're unified.

Or God says they're unified.

They understand each other here.

So they're going to be able to do what they're setting out to do.

He says, what we need to do is we need to confuse the languages.

He doesn't actually tear down the tower, he doesn't remove their purpose.

He literally just makes it to where they can't have a conversation.

And because they can't have a conversation, they can't understand each other.

And because they can't understand each other, they cannot get unified.

This is why Satan doesn't want us to have the conversation.

It's because he hates unity.

So let me give you just two tips on how to have a conversation about this.

Number one, be courageous.

Be courageous.

Let me say again to my white brothers and sisters, it's going to take courage for you to join the conversation because Satan wants you to be afraid that you'll say something wrong.

And so he tries to get you to say nothing at all.

But listen, that is fear trying to silence your voice.

We need you to speak up.

To my black brothers and sisters, we have to be courageous because Satan will say to you, Well, if you speak up, you'll be seen as the angry black man or the angry black woman, and they won't listen to you.

And listen, that is fear trying to silence your voice.

We have to be courageous because it's going to take courage to move towards unity.

Listen, we've got to be courageous because if we're going to intentionally move towards unity, that means we're going to have to have conversations with people of different colors and cultures and classes than us.

We're going to have to get around the dinner table and ask questions and listen.

We're going to have to invite people to places that maybe aren't in our circle or our in-group.

We're going to have to step out of our comfort zone, and that's going to take courage.

We're going to have to talk to people that we've been friends with for a long time, but we've never discussed this topic.

And listen, that's going to take courage, but we need to do this to move forward.

So for some of us, that's inviting someone over for dinner or going to their house.

And listen, it's not to make them a project, but it's to pursue relationship.

For some of us, as we mentioned even in the commercial block, it's it's having essentially a house party, a watch party.

We watch the service together.

Invite people that have diverse backgrounds so you can connect and you can have a conversation.

It's gonna take courage for us to do this, but courage is needed for unity.

Here's a second tip: be understanding.

Be understanding.

Proverbs 18.2 says fools have no interest in understanding.

They only want to air their own opinion.

So let me say again in all humility to my white brothers and sisters, that means we need to approach the conversation with a heart to understand, not to inform.

We need to listen and ask questions and understand that as a black man, when I talk about this subject, I may begin to process my pain, and I don't need you to pull away.

I actually need you to press in with a heart of understanding.

To my black brothers and sisters, that means we have to extend grace to our white brothers and sisters who are courageously joining the conversation but may occasionally say something wrong.

We don't need to crucify them, we need to encourage them and speak the truth in love because we need each other.

A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with a friend of mine, and here's what I love about this idea of being courageous and understanding.

When we choose to have conversations that are courageous and understanding, they become a catalyst for demonstrating love.

And so a few weeks ago, I had a conversation with a buddy of mine.

He is a black police officer.

And I called him, and when I called him, you know, he calls me Pastor J.

And so I called him and I said, Man, I just want to check in on you.

And he said, he said to me, as we begin to talk, and here's what you have to know about him.

He's a good man, he's a good husband, he's a good father, and he's a good friend to me.

He's a guy that got into the law enforcement arena to really serve and protect.

And he he would be the first one to say, listen, there's some things that we need to get right for sure, but but he got in it with the right heart and he wants to serve people.

And so I call him just to go, man, how are you?

And I'll never forget what he said to me.

And he's not speaking as a microcosm to for all police officers, but here's what he said to me, and I was surprised by this.

He said, He said, Jelani, I feel like we get blamed for everything.

I feel like we get blamed for everything.

And listen, I had never thought about that.

And so we continued our conversation, and at the end of the conversation, he said, Thanks, Pastor J.

And I remember when I got off the phone, here's what I knew.

I knew, first of all, because we had the conversation, he helped my understanding.

But secondly, because I made the phone call, he knew I loved him.

Because love looks like a conversation.

Here's point number three.

Love looks like a command.

Love looks like a command.

So if we pick up the story now, still tell into Peter's conversation in verse 10, it says, A person, this is Jesus talking, a person who has bathed all over does not need to wash except for their feet to be entirely clean.

And you disciples are clean, but not all of you, for Jesus knew who would betray him.

So he knows Judas is going to betray him.

This is what it meant when he said, Not all of you are clean.

Now, verse 12, after washing their feet, he put on his robe again and he sat down and asked, Do you understand what I was doing?

Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?

Okay?

He says, You call me teacher and Lord, and you're right, because that's what I am.

And since I, your Lord and teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other's feet.

I have given you an example to follow.

Do as I have done to you.

Now, this is interesting when we think about this expression of love from Jesus.

Because Jesus communicates to his disciples, but he doesn't communicate like my four-year-old son.

His name is Jaden, and because Jaden knows he has no authority in our home, he has to be creative on how he influences decisions.

So my son Jaden will say, Hey, hey guys, guys, I've got the best idea ever.

And it usually has something to do with us taking him to his favorite restaurant to eat.

Or he'll say, he'll raise his hand and say, Hey, guys, guys, guys, guys, I've got a suggestion.

And I'm thinking, you're for.

Like, what kind of suggestion?

You don't have a suggestion.

Jesus, though, when he approaches this conversation with his disciples, he doesn't say, hey guys, I've got the best idea ever.

I've got a great suggestion.

That's not what he says.

He says, no, no, no, no.

I have a command for you.

I am the teacher and the Lord.

I have a command for you.

I've got a directive for you.

This is an order, not an option here.

Do as I do, love one another.

And I'm giving you this command, and I'm not saying love when it's convenient.

I'm not saying love when it's easy.

I'm not even saying love when they love you back.

I'm saying love one another.

Now think about this.

The way Jesus says this is amazing because the context in which he says it, the Bible just said that he knew who was going to betray him.

And yet he still washed Judas' feet.

This is amazing to me to think about because I'm thinking through the people as he washes their feet.

I'm going, okay, he washed John's feet.

Well, John is the beloved disciple, so I'm sure, hey man, that was pretty easy.

He's like Jesus' favorite, you know?

Peter, okay, I can see it getting a little more difficult because in a couple hours, Peter's gonna deny him, but we know Peter's gonna come back.

But Judas, oh, really?

You're gonna wash his feet?

Woo! That's on another level.

And I'm thinking, we don't have the commentary on this, but but here's what we know about Jesus' character.

Here's what Jesus did.

The same amount of time and energy he spent on John's feet, he spent on Peter's feet, he spent on Judas's feet.

Because love is not about convenience, it's not a courtesy, it's a command.

And listen, I don't know if you're like me.

My inclination sometimes is I don't want to love, I just want them to change.

And yet that's never been what Jesus said.

Jesus never said change one another.

He said, love one another.

And if we would love one another, that would actually give God the opportunity to change us all.

Tell you one last story as I close.

Uh I mentioned earlier that my wife is white, and and I remember when I called her dad, he's in Amarillo, and I called her dad just out of respect to ask him, could I date his daughter?

And I'll never forget what he said.

He said, Jelani, I don't care if you're white or black or rich or poor.

I just care that you take care of my daughter.

And her mother's posture was the same way.

But there was a person in her family who she had known for all of her life that felt very differently.

In fact, when my wife called her and told her she was dating me and she knew I was black, she said to my wife, You are throwing your life away.

Now I had never even had a conversation with this woman.

The only thing she knew about me was the color of my skin.

It didn't get better after we were married.

I remember the first Christmas that we had, this lady uh came to the house and she brought Christmas gifts for everybody but me.

But since my wife and I were married, I thought, hey, you know what, we're one, so that gift must be for me too.

So I decide I'm gonna go and say thank you to this lady.

And so I went up to her and said, Hey, thank you for the Christmas gift.

And she said, uh, Jelani, that wasn't for you, that was for her.

Okay, cool, wow.

Then the relationship was so concerning as I remember we we were having conversations, my wife and I, about whether or not we could actually have our child around this person.

But here's what we felt like the Lord said.

The Lord began to speak to us about not disconnecting, but engaging, about treating her the way that we wanted to be treated.

In essence, it wasn't our responsibility to change her.

He said, our responsibility is to love her.

And so we begin to love her.

And I'm sure there were people praying, I'm sure that there were conversations that we didn't even know about.

All we know is that as we continue to love her, God began to change her.

Because as one pastor said, facts don't generally change minds, friendships do.

And so God began to use this relationship to change this lady.

And can I tell you over the years, God has done a miracle?

In fact, now I get Christmas presents too.

In fact, this lady actually loves my children.

And can I tell you the last time I saw this lady, I put my arm around her and I said, she was getting ready to walk out the door and I said, Hey, I love you.

And she looked at me and she said, I love you too, Jelani.

So Jesus doesn't call us to change people, he calls us to love people.

What if our prayers weren't just, Lord, change black folks, Lord change white folks, Lord change every folk?

What if our prayer was, Lord, change me and help me to love others the way that you have loved them?

I want you to bow your heads and close your eyes.

I want to ask you the question that Pastor Robert asks every weekend, and that is, what is the Holy Spirit saying to you in this message?

For some of you, he's speaking to you about a commitment to serve and compassion.

For some of you, he's speaking to you about having a conversation courageously and with understanding.

For some of you, he's speaking to you about love not being a courtesy, but being a command.

Or maybe you're here today and your question is, I really don't even know where to start.

Maybe he's speaking to you about the very first part of that verse.

That is, as I have loved you, maybe you need to receive his love today.

Father, I pray today that you would help us to love one another the way that you loved us.

In Jesus' name.

Amen.

Amen.

God bless you, and we love you.