Faithful Then, Faithful Now | Origin of Our Marriage - Genesis 2:18 (Oct 9) Myles Holmes

Hello and welcome to the Redemption Church Podcast.

We're a church in Newmarket, Ontario, Canada that exists to glorify God through the fulfillment of the Great Commission and the Spirit of the Great Commandment.

Thanks for joining us today.

Let's pray together.

Father, we confess in this moment, God, your Lordship that regardless of our opinion, regardless even of our thoughts and feelings this morning, regardless of where we've been in our life, Lord, you are Lord of heaven and earth right now.

God, you're reigning.

And God, there's a day coming where every knee, every tongue, every knee will bow, every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.

And God, what a sweet moment it is to gather together right now in this time.

God, with the opportunity to bow before you.

Lord, we want to hear your voice, the same voice that spoke this world into existence, the same voice that brought Lazarus from the grave, the same voice that will return one day.

And like a trumpet, declare that all the dead must rise.

And those who have died in Christ will rise at the voice of Jesus.

God, that same voice echoes in this room this morning as we open up your word.

And so, God, would you find in this room people whose hearts are submitted to your voice, who want to hear from you, God.

And God, as we promise to do every time we open up your word, would you work in us, Lord, change us.

Mold us into the image of Christ.

Amen.

So good to be here.

We got something going on here with the mic?

I think we're good now.

Bible says you do.

We got something going on here.

See tech team running up.

Alright.

Well, I'm gonna keep going.

And if this stops working, we're gonna go old school.

Alright?

I'm just gonna yell for the whole message.

Does that sound good to you guys?

Okay, if you have your Bibles, and I hope that you do.

Wait, that time doesn't count on the sermon, does it?

Can we like start it here?

I want I still want that minute back.

If you have your Bibles, I hope that you do.

You can open them up to Genesis chapter 2.

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

We've been spending the last few weeks thinking about origin.

And that's what Genesis is, isn't it?

It's the book of origins.

It's the book of beginnings.

And especially as we work through Genesis 1 to 3, what we find is the beginning of many things that are still relevant in our life today.

We just hit a pause button on this very message to look back over the last few weeks as we've looked at the origin of work, as we looked at the origin of humanity and what it means to be purpose, we looked at the origin of our world and creation, and we looked at the origin of our story to declare this truth.

This book from the very beginning, the first page to the very end, the last page, is relevant for our lives.

It's so relevant that even in the beginning, in the very first chapters of this book, it speaks so meaningfully to our life now.

And what that tells us is that God is a God who wants to speak to us.

Church, do you believe that?

Are you here this morning?

This very moment, are you here this morning believing this truth that God wants to speak to you?

You believe that truth in this moment?

Not to the person who's beside you.

God wants to speak to you.

That's why He has us here this morning, and this morning he wants to speak to us about the origin of marriage.

Really, even deeper than that, is the origin of our relationship.

The origin of what it means to be a human.

As being a human, we interact with other people.

And the picture that God gives us, every time God gives us a picture of marriage.

Whether it's in Genesis, whether it's through the Old Testament, whether it's Jesus returning and he tells us disciples about marriage, every time God gives us a picture of marriage, what we find is this breathtaking picture.

You ever seen something like that?

Like it just takes your breath away?

Like you just cannot wrap your mind around it.

No matter how long you stare at the beauty of this thing, no matter how many times you listen to this amazing song, no matter how many times you read this poem, you just cannot wrap your mind around it.

And what happens every time that God comes to us and gives us an understanding of what He means marriage to be, we find that it's a picture that's too great for us to understand.

And so we know that to be true in our culture today, don't we?

As we as Christians proclaim what it means to be married according to the biblical definition of it, what we find is our culture finds that picture too large to grasp.

As we say that marriage is the covenant that is made between a man and a woman, we find that our culture is very much against that.

But I want you to know that struggling to understand God's definition is not something that's new to humanity.

In fact, when Jesus came to this earth and he spoke to his disciples about marriage, he kind of gave them this breathtaking picture of marriage.

In fact, he went very back to these very verses that we're going to read in Genesis 2.

And he said to his disciples, this is what marriage is.

And you know how his disciples responded?

Like the people that followed Jesus most closely, they said, if this is what marriage is, then it's just it's better not to marry.

They just could not fathom marriage as God had defined it.

They could not fathom marriage to be something so great and so glorious as God had defined it.

And my question for us this morning is, can we?

Can we?

As we go to Genesis 2 and start to get an understanding of the breathtaking picture of God's design for marriage, my question for us is, do we think it's possible?

The reality is that our world doesn't, does it?

That's why there are so many efforts being put in today to redefine marriage.

Because at its root, the way that God defines it, our world believes is impossible.

In fact, I love what the modern-day prophet Jerry Seinfeld says.

He's not really a modern-day prophet, but he says that this marriage is like a game of chess where the chessboard is moving water and the pieces are smoke, and no matter what move you make, it doesn't have any effect on the outcome.

And I love that idea because it gives kind of this sense of like once you get married, there's really nothing you can do.

What that is is a cry to say this marriage is impossible.

We can't do it.

How can you get these two people to live together and be on the same page?

And so that feeling that marriage is impossible really bleeds into our culture, doesn't it?

So that as you look at divorce rates, it's more likely that you're gonna get divorced than you're gonna stay married in our modern day.

Our culture has this feeling that marriage is impossible.

And so, as a church and as Christians, the job is ours, through our marriages, to preach that it is not only possible, that God's design for marriage is beautiful.

That it's both possible and beautiful.

This is what our marriages must do.

They must proclaim God's good design for marriage, that it is a good thing, that it is a beautiful thing, and it is a thing that is very possible.

This is what we need in our marriages, and this is what Genesis 2 is going to teach us about.

And so I want to read this together, Genesis 2, verses 18 to 25, and you can look at your Bibles with me and read along with me.

Genesis 2:18–25

I'm reading from the ESV.

Moses writes these words Then the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone.

I'll make him a helper fit for him.

Now out of the ground the Lord had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them.

And whatever the man called every living creature, that was his name.

The man gave names to all livestock, and to the birds of the heavens, and to every beast of the field.

But for Adam there was not a helper fit for him.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept, took one of his ribs, closed up its place with flesh, and the rib that the Lord had taken from the man he made into a woman, and brought her to the man.

Then the man said, This at last is bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh.

She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

And the man and his n wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

It's a beautiful picture of marriage.

It shows us God's design for marriage.

And as we think about our marriages, our marriages need to display God's design.

So the first thing I want you to see this morning is that if our marriages display God's design, they'll embrace the foundational command.

If our marriages display God's design, they'll embrace the foundational command.

Now I need to just take a moment here because I feel like I'm really loud.

Am I really loud?

Sometimes I'm speaking and it's like ringing in my ears.

So can we maybe turn it down a little bit?

Because sometimes I want to be quiet, but I feel like no matter how quiet I am, I'm shouting everything.

So we can turn that down a little bit, and that'll be very helpful.

Is that better?

Some of you guys wiping up the blood out of your ears.

This is hurting this morning.

Okay, let's carry on.

Marriage that displays God's design embraces the foundational command.

Now look at verse 18 with me.

Look what it says.

Then the Lord God said, It is not good.

Now I need you to help me react to this text, okay?

This I want I want to show you how we're supposed to react to this.

When I read not good, I want everyone, we're working together here, okay?

I want everyone to gasp.

Give me your most shocked gasp you can do.

Are you ready?

Then the Lord God said, It is not good.

That was amazing.

Wow, well done.

I was prepared to have to do that again, but you guys really shocked me with that.

It was not good.

Actually, in the Hebrew, it just starts out with not good.

You ever run into the room talking to your spouse?

You say, Not good, not good.

It's like you just don't have any other words to even introduce the sentence.

Not good, not good.

Now, the reason why this is shocking is because all through Genesis, if you've been with us, what you find in Genesis 1 especially is everything is good.

You remember as God created day after day through the six days of creation, after almost every day of creation, he took a step back, and what did he say?

It is good.

He created more, it is good, it is good, it is good, and then finally he creates Adam and Eve in Genesis 1, and he says, it's very good.

And you get this idea in Eden where everything is perfect.

God is creating a good creation so that when we get to Genesis 2, 18, and it says, the Lord God said, not good, we recognize there's a real problem here.

Notice what is not good.

It says it's not good that a man should be alone.

This sounds like the dream for some men, doesn't it?

You got the little man cave and the basement.

I love being alone.

Being alone is like the best thing you can have.

And yet what we find here is that it's not good that the man should be alone.

And so the question is, why?

And in order to answer that question, we really need a context of what's been happening so far in Genesis 1 and 2.

And what we find is this this is actually in Genesis 2, it's not the first time that God has spoken to man.

Actually, God spoke to man first in Genesis 1.

And you so you can flip back to that if you need to, or just put your eyes back on Genesis 1, verse 26.

Genesis 1:26

Look what God says.

He says uh in verse 26, let us make man in our image after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.

And look what happens in verse 27.

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female, he created them.

But in verse 28, what we see is that God speaks, and this is the first command that he gives to mankind, to Adam and Eve.

He says, Be fruitful and multiply.

Be fruitful and multiply.

And there we understand the creation mandate.

When we spoke about those verses, what we spoke about was that Adam and Eve in their creation were to multiply themselves by having children until their children covered the face of the earth.

All these image bearers were born of them, displaying God's glory.

And the reason once we get to Genesis 2, verse 18, we find that it's not good for man to be alone is because without woman, the man is unable to do what God has called him to do.

Genesis 2:18

In order for Adam to be fruitful and multiply, he needs a woman.

Now, I was gonna go into depth about how all this works, but I know there's some children here, so I don't want to get into that conversation.

I'm gonna save it for you.

I'm just gonna trust that at this point in your life you do know how it works.

Adam needs Eve.

Now there's something funny going on in Genesis 1 and 2, isn't there?

Because in Genesis 2, verse 18, Eve hasn't been created yet, and yet what did we just read in Genesis 1?

Genesis 2:18

In Genesis 1, we read that God created man, and then in verse 27, we read that he created them male and female.

And so the question here is what's happening?

Has Eve been created already, or has she not been created?

And what you find in Genesis 1 is not what some liberal scholars say, is that there's kind of two different creation accounts that they're jamming together.

What you find in Genesis 1 and 2 is what you find in some movies that you watch.

You ever watch a movie where it starts and it's following kind of the plot, it's following the narrative line, and then it kind of stops in a moment and it goes to the angle of a different character and it follows that same storyline so that you begin to understand it in a different way.

That's what's happening in Genesis 1 and 2.

In Genesis 1, God is viewing creation from his perspective as God speaks creation into existence from nothing.

But then in Genesis 2, what he does is he comes down to man's perspective and views that same creation.

So that we understand as God created male and female in Genesis 1, in verse 2, we zoom into that creation to discover that first in verses 4 to 17, God created Adam, and we spoke about that last week, and it wasn't until these verses that God created Eve.

And so we find in verse 18 a great problem.

It is not good that man should be alone.

In other words, it's impossible for Adam to do what he is called to do, to be fruitful and to multiply apart from marriage, apart from his union with Eve.

This is the first thing that we need to understand about marriage.

The reason why we're given marriage is because it's necessary in order for us to do what God calls us to do.

It's not good for Adam to be alone because he can't do it alone.

And so we just need to take a moment and think about what our culture is saying about marriage.

Our culture is saying is that marri uh is that our culture is saying that marriage can be between a man and a woman, or that it can be between a man and a man, or that it can be between a woman and a woman, or it can be between a woman who says she's a man and a man who says she's a woman, or it can be between all these different things, and you the the definitions of marriage are really becoming innumerable.

In fact, it's becoming really hard and difficult to understand who's who, what gender they are saying they are, who what the pregnant man is, whether that's the wife or the husband, it's really becoming difficult and confused.

And the thing that the transgender movement can't get around is the fact that at the end of the day, in order to reproduce children, you need a man and a woman.

This is God's foundational design.

And so no matter what you say about yourself, you can't change that biological design of God that in order to have children, you need a man present and you need a woman present.

But this is also to say what the Bible proclaims to our world, this is why the gospel is good news.

This is why what God says about sexuality and gender and marriage is actually good news.

Because what God has to say to our world in this confused age where gender is fluid and you can change however you like, God has to say this your biological creation is a beautiful thing.

Listen, this is the good news that we need to preach to our world that the fact that you were created as a woman is a very beautiful thing.

It's not something you need to change.

You are beautiful in your design.

See, the Christian worldview, the biblical worldview, loves the biological body.

And the good news that we have to carry to the world is that God loves you for who you are, the way that you were created to be.

So it says, I don't care, it doesn't matter what you are, your body does not matter.

You can be whatever you want to be.

You know, a hundred years ago, if you went to your doctor and you said, uh, I'm a man and I'm struggling because I think I'm a woman, they would say, Well, something's wrong with your mind.

And now if you were to go to your doctor and you're saying I'm a man who's struggling to be a woman, they'd say, Well, something's wrong with your body.

And see, what's happened is there's been this flip where now the secular worldview is really anti-the body.

And the Christian worldview comes with this good news that your biological creation is a good thing.

Church in our marriages, we need to embrace the foundational command.

We need to embrace the foundational command that God created us to be male and female.

This means two things for us.

There's two practical takeaways from this first point here that our marriages need to embrace the foundational command.

The first is that as a church and as a Christian, what we need to do is to fight to move our culture back to Eden's view of marriage.

As a church, we're under a lot of pressure.

In fact, many churches and many Christians are folding under this pressure to say that marriage is something that God says it's not.

And we're kind of prodded to say, why are you so stuck up about this?

Why do you care so much about marriage?

Why do you care so much about the definition of marriage?

And the reason why we care about this, the reason why we want to bring things back to God's original design is because God created it for our good.

It was not good for Adam to be alone.

And that is why Eve was created.

And in the same way, our society will flourish as the strength and beauty of marriage, union between a man and a woman, is upheld.

The farther we get away from what God designed in the Garden of Eden for marriage, the farther we get away from a healthy society.

God created marriage as a union between a man and a woman for our good.

The second thing that I want you to understand is that in our marriages, we can only understand what it means to be married as so long as we understand our relationship with God.

That is to say, the closer you are to God, the healthier your marriage will be.

Because the more you understand God, the more you know God, the more you're living for God, the closer you are to understanding marriage's true purpose, which for Adam and Eve was so that they could fulfill God's mission.

This is what marriage's purpose is in your life.

The purpose of marriage is for you to build each other up so that you can live for God.

And so marriage works very much like this.

It's almost like a triangle.

If you can imagine a triangle where God is at the top, and the wife is maybe on the left, and the husband's on the right, and there's no reason for that apart from there at the bottom of the triangle.

And in your marriage, your marriage will be stronger the closer that you both get to God.

This is how you build a healthy marriage.

The most important thing you can do is not that not that you guys communicate together better, that's important.

Not that you get on the same page about finances, that's important.

Not that you have a great intimate physical relationship, that's important too.

But the most important thing about above all these other things is that you are close to the Lord, that you're living for Him.

And so the most practical thing you can do to strengthen your marriage in this moment is to commit yourself.

See, some of you right now, you're listening to this message for your spouse, and you're really upset because I'm talking to you right now.

The most important thing you can do, regardless of where your spouse is at with the Lord right now, is get closer to the Lord yourself.

And as your eyes are on the Lord, as you're growing closer to him, as you're becoming more ignited in the depth of your soul about the reason that he created you and your mission to live for him, so your marriage will be strengthened as well.

And so, very practically, we need a high view of God.

You know what else we need in our marriage?

We need a very low view of ourselves, and our marriage will be strong.

So long as we have a high view of God and a low view of ourself.

Because this is what happens when you see when you get a picture of God, you come to recognize it humbles you, doesn't it?

This is what happens with Isaiah, isn't it?

In the throne room.

He sees God, the holy of holies, holy, holy, holy, the seraphim are flying around him, crying this out.

And what does he say?

I'm so unworthy.

He understands his own sinfulness.

And one of the most practical things that happened in my marriage with Amber was that before we were married, we were given a book, and the book is actually a really good book, but the most helpful thing is the title.

The name of the book is When Sinners Say I Do.

And that title has really stuck with us because we remember daily that this marriage is between two sinners.

It's not one like really good person and one person who could use some help.

It's two sinners.

You know how practical that will be in your marriage?

If you can recognize that, it will be so practical because you recognize that marriage is more like bringing together two grenades that you've pulled the pins out and wondering if a good thing is gonna come out of that.

What's gonna happen when you get two sinners to stand at an altar and say, hey, I'm committing my life to you.

I'm gonna spend every waking moment with you.

We're gonna be together through thick and thin.

We're gonna do it all.

What's gonna happen?

Thick and thin's gonna happen, and there is going to be a lot of sin.

And those two sinners who stand at that altar eventually are gonna have kids and multiply.

And what are they gonna multiply?

Perfect little angels?

No, they're gonna multiply little sinners who just make this recipe of disaster and destruction.

Some of the parents in here say he's never speaks spoken such truth.

And the household is filled with more sinners, and what is gonna happen in this house?

Sin is gonna happen.

And if at the foundation of your marriage you don't recognize the greatness of God and the sinfulness of your own heart, you will run into so much trouble.

But as you focus on these two things, I promise you it'll bring such great growth, such great strength to your marriage.

You need to embrace the foundational command.

The second thing I want you to see is that if we're gonna display God's design for marriage, we need to emphasize the beautiful compliment.

We need to emphasize the beautiful compliment.

And so our question in Genesis 2 is how does God fix the problem?

Here's the problem it's not good for man to be alone.

Well, how does he fix the problem?

He says, I will make a helper fit for him.

What we find in Genesis 2 is actually that our roles in marriage become defined.

Roles in marriage are not a product of the fall.

Roles in marriage, differences between man and women, and the different roles they are to take in marriage is something that's created before the fall.

And we understand that as God says as a solution for Adam's problem, that he will make a helper fit for him.

And we come to realize that that helper is Eve.

Genesis 1 and 2 is really showing us our different roles.

And so the first role I want you to see is the role of the husband.

The role of the husband we find in Genesis 1 and 2 is really the role of leader.

And you say, Miles, well, where do you see that?

Well, you see it all throughout Genesis 2.

Notice first that in Genesis 2.4, it's only Adam that's there.

Adam is created first.

And up until this point, from verses 4 to 17, it's just Adam and God.

And we understand that as God gives this command that we talked about last week in Genesis 2.15 to work it, to work the ground and to keep the ground, to be in the Garden of Eden, working it and keeping it.

This command is given solely to Adam at this point.

This is not a command that's given to Eve.

And then notice also that God speaks about the tree of a life, and he gives another command in verse 16.

He says, The Lord God commanded the man, saying, You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat.

For in the day that you eat of it, you shall surely die.

Adam was given this great responsibility.

He had a private VIP session with God.

And God told him some very important news.

God said, There is a tree in the middle of the garden, and if you eat of this tree, you will die.

What do you think Adam said in that moment?

I would imagine that if I gave you an apple and I said, I've poisoned this apple.

And if you eat this apple, you're gonna die.

I would imagine you say, Well, I'm probably not gonna eat the apple then.

I don't want to die.

And when you bring that apple into your car and your wife comes and says, Oh, look at this apple, I want to eat it.

You should say, wait, whoa, wait, do not eat that apple.

Pastor Miles gave it to me.

He's, I don't know what's up with him.

Something's twisted with him.

He said he poisoned it, and if you eat it, you're gonna die.

And your wife would likely say, Okay, well, I'm not gonna eat that apple.

At this point, I don't know why you still have the apple, but in this illustration, you do.

That's just how illustrations work.

I get to make them up, and they don't, they can be as silly or absurd as we want them to be, and that's okay.

And Adam's given this information, and though his role as leader is to share this information with Eve.

He's to be a leader in righteousness.

He's to lead Adam to obey God.

And so we trust that in the time that, in fact, we know in the time that Adam was created, and then Eve was created, and that the serpent came and tempted Eve, that what Eve does is she responds to the serpent with the words that God had spoken only to Adam.

So that in the garden, Adam had successfully led Eve for a time in righteousness.

Husband, you need to know this about your role if you're a husband in this room, that your role is that of a leader.

You are to lead your wife in righteousness.

This is why when Paul speaks to husbands in Ephesians 5, he says your role is to wash them white with the word.

And so let me ask you this question: Do you lead your wife in righteousness?

Is your wife closer to God because of your influence?

And in fact, let me give you some homework.

And don't worry, you're not gonna be the only one who has homework this morning.

But on the way home, or maybe at a time where you're just alone with your wife, can you look at her and ask her this question?

Are you closer to God because of my influence?

And don't let her answer just yes or no.

Find specifics.

What is it that I do that brings you closer to God, that helps you walk more righteously, that helps you obey more easily?

And then ask this question.

That's gonna be really hard to hear, probably very painful, and so I apologize that I've given you that homework, but then ask her this question: what can I do better?

What can I do to serve you better?

How can I lead you in righteousness better?

Because I want to lead you in righteousness.

I was created to do that.

Adam's a leader in righteousness.

He's also to be a leader with authority.

And so we find through Genesis 2 that Adam is given this authority by God that's not given to Eve.

And so notice in verses 19 and 20, something really interesting happens.

In fact, this is one of the areas of scripture where I just think like we don't use our imagination enough when we read scripture, because sometimes some really crazy things happen and we're just like, oh, cool, that happened.

This is crazy what happens.

In verse 19, now out of the ground, the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them.

Could you just imagine that moment for a second?

Like Adam standing in a field.

This isn't a zoo, okay?

This isn't like the Toronto Zoo that's got a lot of exhibits.

It's like every beast of the field is in this giant herd right in front of them.

And they're all standing there and they're just waiting for Adam.

Every beast is come, is brought to the man to see what he would call them.

And what the end of verse 19 says is that whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name.

Now, I don't know how long this process took.

It must have taken forever, because it wasn't Adam just making up names.

What we find from these names is that Adam's actually like studying these creatures and giving them names that's fit for their role in creation.

Adam becomes like this master role observer.

And so he studies the ox, seeing if the ox to be a suitable helper for him.

Well, the ox pulls really well, but it doesn't have it's not great at conversation.

And so I'll name it this, and he moves on.

And every animal, I don't know how long this took, but it must have taken a long time.

Every animal, he observes their qualities, what they do, what they do well, and he names them and then moves on, and he keeps going, naming them.

Now, the very fact that Adam is given this task to name these creatures shows us that Adam is authoritative.

Because in Hebrew understanding, if you are to name something, means you have authority over that thing.

That's why in Genesis 1, it's God who names the light.

It's God who names the night, it's God who names the day.

Because God has authority over these things.

And so what God does is he gives man in Genesis 2, verse 19, the authority to name these creatures.

Genesis 2:19

And we find in verse 20 that God, that Adam gives names to all the livestock, to all the birds of the heavens, and to every beast of the field.

But it says, for Adam, there is no helper fit for him.

In verse 18, we're told that it's not good that man should be alone.

I don't know if in that moment Adam felt that loneliness, but for sure, by the end, as he looked at all of these animals and saw that there was nothing like him.

There was nothing suitable for him.

In that moment, Adam recognized that he was alone.

That he was missing something.

And this is really important for us to point out.

We're going to point this out again.

This really highlights the fact that Adam needs a wife.

Adam needs Eve.

And that's important to highlight because sometimes in the church we tend to make it that because our roles are different, because the man is called to be a leader, and in Genesis 2, the woman is called to be a helper.

Because the man has authority and the woman is called to submission to that authority.

Sometimes we think that just because the roles are different, so also the worth of man and woman is different.

And men can kind of act as though that because they have this authority, well, it's a good thing that my wife has me.

She wouldn't be able to live in this world alone.

It's a good thing she has me to lead her and to carry her along.

And we treat marriage as though it's kind of like a tow truck.

Like, come on, just hop on the ride and I'll bring you along.

That's not what marriage is.

Man, do you does your wife know that you need her?

That you would be an absolute wreck without her?

Because this is what Adam understands.

This is what Adam understands, that even though he's called to be a leader, he can't carry out that role.

He can't carry out God's mission without his wife.

And so they say, behind every good man is a good woman.

And that truth is right here in the text.

Man, you need your wife.

Does she know it?

Does she know how necessary she is to your life?

Do you express your thankfulness, your constant thankfulness to her?

Do you thank her for the ways that she cares for you, that she helps you, that she helps you to accomplish God's mission in your life?

I also want you to notice that the authority that Adam's given is an authority that's based on love.

And so as he's given to Eve in verses 21 and 22, and we're going to come back to that as we talk to the woman, look what he says in verse 23.

It's this piece of poetry.

It's the first poetry in the Hebrew Bible.

And it's just dripping with love when you read it.

Even in the English and in the Hebrew, there's so much poetic beauty that's going on that it's even more beautiful.

But he says, This at last.

That's like a breath of fresh air.

That's like the thirstiest you've ever been, having a drop of water on your tongue.

And Adam now is beholding Eve in all of her beauty, unstained by sin, the perfect gift made perfectly to complement him.

And he says these words, This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.

And she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.

And then Moses in verse 24, he gives a comment on this.

He says, Therefore, notice this, it's really interesting.

Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife.

It's really interesting that it doesn't say anything about the wife there.

What Moses wants to highlight is that the man's role as a husband is a role of holding fast, of cleaving.

It's like of clinging.

It's this intimate language of leaving the father and mother and holding fast to the wife.

What the father, what the husband is doing in this moment is saying to his wife, I'm leaving everything behind.

You are the jewel, the crown jewel of my life.

I'm leaving everything for you.

And this would be absolutely shocking to Hebrew culture.

Because in Hebrew culture, what happened is when you were married, it would be the woman who left their family.

And often, this is what we're going to see with Abraham, families would become kind of like these compounds, and the man would stay with the family and the wife would join.

But what Moses wants them to understand is though, even though you're still gonna travel together as sort of this family compound, the husband has left the father's authority and now has clung to you.

The husband now cleaves to his wife in love.

This is the way that we are to use our authority.

This is why I think it's funny.

Anytime a man walks around with a sense of pride that he has the authority that God has given him, I think it's kind of laughable because when Paul in Ephesians 5 again talks about authority, you know what he then says about men that they're to do with that authority?

They are to love Christ as Christ loved the church.

That should make your jaw hit the floor if you're a man in here, because that is the most impossible command there is.

And we, you know, we we can't wait till we get to the point in the text where it says wives submit to your husbands to say, ha, look what you have to do.

You gotta submit to me, and yet here we are with that command.

Husband, you gotta love your wife the way that Christ loved the church.

How impossible is that to do?

And yet what we find is that your authority should be a very sweet thing to your wife, because it's an authority that's dripping with love.

It's an authority that often, most often, the thing that your wife should have to submit to is to submit to your loving kindness.

This is the only time I bring up submission in my own marriage.

I look to my wife and I say, Listen, it's gonna be time for you to obey the Lord here, okay?

It's time for you to submit to my leadership.

The wives know where this is going.

This is not going to a good place.

And yet I tried, I'm trying to fulfill that command to love my wife as Christ loved the church.

So this is the only time we'll bring up submission.

I say, you have to go have a bath while I do all of these dishes.

Okay?

And I'm just trying to highlight myself from the stage as a really great husband.

I'm really not great.

That's happened once in 10 years, okay?

But that's what our submission is to do.

Our authority is to do.

It's to lead our wives in love.

So can I give you more homework?

Can you look to your wife sometime today and ask her this question?

Do you find it sweet to follow me?

Do you find following me a thing that brings great pleasure and joy into your life?

And husbands, if you're leading your wife with the authority that God has given you and the way that God has given you to use that authority, then the answer should be yes.

And at the end of your life, you should be swinging on a swing on your porch in the front of your house, looking at each other in your old, sagging faces and eyes, saying to each other, Life has been so sweet because of you.

That's what our marriages are designed to do.

Men, you're designed to use your authority to make your wife's life a joyful, sweet life of abundance.

Women, you're called here in this text to be a helper fit for your husband.

Those words are so uh deep in their meaning of companionship and of a compliment.

You're to be a helper to your husband.

And we see this all throughout the text in verse 21 when Adam, sorry, the the Lord God, it says, caused Adam to be in a deep sleep.

And this is where women are created.

While he slept, he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.

Notice that women are created from Adam.

It's a really interesting wordplay here.

Let me go to the Hebrew again just so you understand it.

In Hebrew, the word for ground is Adama.

So you can understand why Adam is named Adam.

And so Adam is made, is called Adam because he is made from the ground.

And what happens here is Eve is created.

She's taken not from the ground.

Eve is taken from the rib of Adam.

And in verse 23, when the man wakes up and beholds Eve, he understands that the animals weren't like him, but this woman is, because she was taken out of man.

And so it says in verse 23, she shall be called woman.

This is still relevant to us.

This is the depth of man's creativity, okay?

In Hebrew, man is East, and woman is Esau.

That was the depth of his creativity.

I'll just add an ah to the end of it, and that'll be good.

And yet what is happening here is Adam is showing us the beauty of Eve's design.

Just as Adam was taken from the Adam Ah, the ground, so Eve, the woman, Esau, is taken from man, East.

And you need to understand that your role is to help your husband as he obeys God's command, as he fulfills God's commission.

Now I need to say this as well: that just because your role is as a helper, because your role is of submission, that doesn't mean that you're of any less worth.

What people always hear when a complimentarian talks about marriage is that women are less worthwhile than men.

And so let me just say it loudly and clearly.

Maybe we can turn my mic up again for this point.

Men and women are of equal worth.

The Bible nowhere upholds any view that would make women less worthy than men.

We've seen this all through Genesis 1 and 2.

The man needs the woman and the woman needs the man.

Though the roles are different, the equality is the same.

And yet what we find here is the role of the woman, taken from the rib, is to help the man.

Women, this is a beautiful thing.

I love what Matthew Henry says.

He says, women was not made, the woman was not made out of the head to rule over him, nor out of the feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected by him, close to his heart to be loved by him.

And your role in your creation is to come along beside your husband, and just as he uses his authority to make your life sweet with his love, so you use your submission to make his life sweet.

And so, wives, here's your homework.

After your husband has taken his role as a leader and asked him your questions, can you look at him and ask him this question?

Am I helpful to you?

Is life sweeter because of my influence on your life?

Because of the things that I do?

Then ask him this question.

Is it possible that I can do anything to help you more as you seek to pursue God and live for him?

The role of a man is a leader, the role of the woman in marriage is a helper.

I want to just speak really quickly to those of you who are single in this room.

Because I think there's a lot of application we can take from this text for single people.

See, the reality is that Adam at one time was single as well.

And there's a period in this text where Adam doesn't have a helper, he doesn't have Eve, he's not married.

And Adam senses his loneliness.

And I trust that for many in singleness, the battle is the battle of loneliness.

Recognize that in this text, Adam was alone.

And Adam felt his loneliness.

And yet the application we can take from this is that you need to trust God's timing.

Trust God's timing.

In time, God would provide a helper fit for Adam.

But it would come according to God's timing.

Wouldn't it come according to Adam's timing?

Isn't it funny in Genesis 1?

God solves every problem like that, doesn't he?

Genesis in day one, there's no, it's dark.

So he says, let there be light, and there's light.

It's immediate.

But then in Genesis 2, it's like this long process.

And what is God doing in Adam's life by parading every animal through this long process?

He's doing something significant and purposeful in his life.

And Adam in this time needs to trust God's timing.

And God's going to provide for you.

That's not a promise.

The Apostle Paul speaks of the gift of singleness.

But the promise is this that even in your singleness, God is present.

God is purposeful.

He's working for a reason.

Second thing I want you to understand is that you're worthwhile.

Just because Adam doesn't have a helper in the beginning of these verses doesn't mean that he's any less human.

And sometimes the feeling that you might have in your singleness is that you're less of a whole person because you don't have a spouse.

And the reality is that that just is not true.

That's a lie that Satan can speak to your mind, but it's not a lie that can go very far in Scripture.

Because you know what the reality is?

Two of the most useful men in the church were single.

The first is Jesus.

There's no argument that he's the most useful.

And Jesus was never married.

He was single for the fullness of his life.

And yet he was the most whole person that ever walked the face of this earth.

And so the apostle Paul wasn't married.

And he was the most useful man to the church.

And you need to understand that just because you're single does not mean that you're not worthwhile.

You need to understand that just because you're single does not mean that you're not worthwhile in this church.

I want to speak to you and tell you that we need you in this church.

And that's an application for married people as well.

Every once in a while, will you express to a single person how valuable they are to you?

Because I gotta tell you, they feel it.

I hear it time and time again how a single person feels like maybe this isn't the church for them because there's so many married people around, and they need to know how valuable they are to you.

This is the body of Christ.

And if you're single, you are a part of the body of Christ, and to lose you is to lose a part of our effective body.

We need you in this church.

We need you speaking the truth in love to husbands and wives.

We need you ministering.

And just because you're not married doesn't mean that you can't be effective in this church.

In fact, Paul wasn't married.

He's the most effective person in the history of the church.

Jesus wasn't married, and obviously we don't even have to talk about that.

He's the most effective person in the history of the church.

And just because you're single doesn't mean you can't be of use to the Lord in this church.

Or marriage, when it displays God's design, emphasizes the beautiful compliment.

The last thing I want you to see really quickly here is that marriage that displays God's design, it experiences the joyous companionship.

Experiences the joyous companionship.

And so look at what happens in verse 24.

I've already read there that it says, therefore, this is Moses' comment a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife.

But then look what it says: they shall become one flesh.

Something significant happens in the marriage ceremony.

This is why we celebrate marriage ceremonies, because there's something significant happening in that moment.

These two people who were once two flesh now become one flesh.

What this one flesh is, is a comprehensive union.

In every area of life, the husband and wife are brought into one.

I love what Ray Ortland says about it.

He says, in real terms, two selfish me's start learning to think like one unified us.

I love that.

Do you think about yourself like a selfish me?

Let me keep reading this quote.

Two selfish me's start learning to think like one unified us, building a life together with one total everything.

One story, one purpose, one reputation, one bed, one suffering, one budget, one family.

Marriage removes all barriers and replaces them with complete oneness.

And it is this marriage, this union that sets marriage apart as marriage.

It's this oneness that makes marriage so sweet.

It's this oneness, this comprehensive union that shows the world how sweet marriage is.

This is why in verse 25, after man and wife, after Adam and Eve become one flesh, it says the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

Because in verse 25, what they're experiencing is an intimacy that would not be felt for long in the garden.

It was this intimacy of everything is yours, Adam.

This is what Eve would say to Adam and Adam would have looked to Eve and say, Everything is yours.

There's no barriers, there's no rooms of my heart that are walled off to you.

Everything is yours.

We are of one flesh, there's nothing hidden here.

And yet what we find in verse 25 is that it foreshadows what's coming in ver in chapter 3.

And in chapter 3, verse 7, you find that it only takes seven verses that Adam and Eve have fallen.

And look at what it says in verse 7.

Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked.

And this intimacy of joyous companionship and fellowship and one flesh union that Adam and Eve shared where there was no shame, there was no guilt, now they're heaped.

Shame is heaped upon them, they're filled with guilt.

All because sin has entered into their life.

Church, you need to know that in the same way that Adam and Eve have fallen in their relationship to each other, we've fallen in our relationship to others.

Isn't it interesting that when Satan comes to tempt Eve, what does he attack?

Well, really, Satan attacks God's design for relationship.

This is what we understand in Genesis 2, that God created Adam to have authority over Eve.

And so what does Satan do?

Satan doesn't go to God, Satan goes to Eve.

And instead of helping Adam, what does Eve do?

Eve hinders Adam and bring her the fruit that would lead to her death.

And instead of leading Eve to righteousness, what does Adam do?

Adam leads her to sin.

And what Satan does is ruin the relationship.

How sin enters the world is through relational sin between Adam and Eve.

And you need to know in the same way, sin has entered into your life through your relational sin.

There's not one of us who have not sinned against another person.

See, we understand that there are other people out in the world that are really messed up, don't we?

We understand there are some evil people in the world.

And yet don't you also understand that there are times that maybe, maybe there are moments that you wake up in the middle of the night and immediately think about because there are things you have done that have been so evil you can't even imagine that you've done them.

You have burst out in anger at people that you have loved so deeply and did not want a wound like that.

You have gossiped about people who are made in the image of God and are worthwhile.

And you've gossiped about them in order to tear down their image.

You've told lies in order to get what you want.

You've used people in order to build up your own image.

Maybe you haven't done all of these things, but at least each of us have sinned relationally against other people.

And just like Adam and Eve, we've heaped shame upon our life.

You know what the beautiful, amazing truth of the gospel is, is that God never stopped loving us.

Despite our sin, he never stopped loving us.

And we see this right from the beginning because there's something amazing in Genesis 2.

You know, Eve, she doesn't have a name yet.

She doesn't have a name yet.

She's called woman.

But it's not till chapter 3 that Adam eventually names her Eve.

And why does Adam name the woman Eve?

Well, Eve means living.

And it's really interesting.

It displays God's grace and mercy that the woman who brought death into the world would be called living.

Why is that?

It's because thousands of years later, a baby would be born.

That baby would be born of a woman who, if you go far back enough in her lineage, is born of Eve.

And this baby would also be given a name, and his name would be Jesus.

And the name Jesus meant deliverer.

And from Eve, from the seed of Eve, from the family line of Eve, would be given a man named Jesus who would deliver his people from their sins.

Eve had brought death into the world, but she would be named living because through her line, through her seed, life would be brought to the world.

And you need to recognize that in the same way you have brought death through your own sin, in the same way that you deserve eternal death because of your sin, Jesus was born of a woman for you.

So that if you believe in him by faith, you too can have life.

You too can be restored.

You can be healed of your brokenness.

This is who God is.

He's never stopped loving us.

Despite our marriage, the fact that our marriages do not, in many ways, I trust that even as you've heard this message like me, you're convicted about the ways that your marriage doesn't display God's design.

And yet in our sinfulness, God never stopped loving us.

He sent his son to die for us so that we could have life.

Let's pray together, church.

Father, God, we thank you that though we brought death to this world, you promised through Eve to bring life.

And God, we confess our need for life, Lord.

We need forgiveness for the shame that we've brought in through the things that we've said, through the angry words, through the gossip, through the lies, through the slander.

God, each of us have fallen short in the ways that we are to love one another, let alone the ways that we're to love the person close to us, our spouse.

And Lord, we give you praise for sending us Jesus Christ.

Lord, despite our sinfulness, despite our weakness, despite the ways that we've fallen short of your glory, you have given us Him so that we could have life in you.

And God, you never stopped loving us.

You never stopped chasing us.

You never stopped pursuing us in our sinfulness and the way that we had ruined your design for marriage, Lord, you never gave up on us.

You sent your son to die for us.

And so we give you all the praise.

I pray, Lord, even now as we reflect on this song, Lord, you would just drive this truth deep into our hearts of your great love for us despite our sinfulness, despite the fact that we've ruined your plan and your good design for marriage and relationship.

God, we pray this in the name of your son.

Amen.

And take a moment right now to sing a song that I don't know if you've heard it or not before, but I'd just love for you to reflect on the words.

And so you can just stay sitting and you can either just bow your head and close your eyes and think about these words, or you can read them up on the screen and reflect them.

Just take this truth and allow it to be driven deep by the Holy Spirit into your heart.

And scripture both begins with a wedding and it ends with a wedding.

And in Revelation 21, it says, and I saw, this is John speaking of the vision he sees, I saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God.

Listen to this, prepared as a bride, adorned for her husband.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man, he will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.

Church, do you recognize that because God loved you, because God sent his only son for you, you have hope to make it to the most important wedding day of your life, the day that you will stand before the Lord, and Jesus has prepared you as his own bride, and you enter down the aisle of eternity to spend all of eternity with Jesus Christ.

No matter what your sin is, no matter how far you've fallen from God, this is the promise that God gives to those who place their faith in you.

Why?

Why do we deserve it?

All because God has loved us.

And so I think it's fitting in this time.

Would you stand with me?

Let's just sing the song again.

We're just gonna sing the chorus.

Let's respond to God, thanking Him and declaring His love for us.

Amen, church.

That truth is so true.

If you're new with us this morning, we're so thankful that you could join us.

We're excited to meet you at the Connect booth.

I'm gonna be here at the front.

I'd love to meet you.

Love to pray with you.

If you have anything that we can pray for you for, there are some leaders up here at the front that would love to pray for you.

Church, go this week knowing that you are loved.