Faith Sounds Like: Flat on the Floor

I think the most fun part is watching all of you because it was like

you didn't know what was happening. Great job, guys, it's great to

be back. And I were doing the Churches of Revelation tour in Turkey for

the last couple of weeks. It really was amazing. Lots of people have

asked me what I thought of it. They've asked, is this something that

we're gonna do for venture? And yes, we will do it. This

next year, twenty twenty four, we have an Israel trip. In fact,

today at one o'clock there is an Israel information meeting if you would like

to journey to the Holy Land. And I've said this over and over again,

one of the number one things that we is a pastoral staff care about

for the people that are followers of Jesus in our church is that you know

your Bible, because we believe that the Bible will transform your life. And

there is nothing that makes the Bible come alive more than being in the places

that are talked about in scripture. So if you've ever wanted to do that,

we have a great Israel trip plan next year. Again, one o'clock

today is the information meeting. We do Israel every other year, and then

on the other year we will do the Journey of Paul, will do the

Churches of Revelation, things like that. So that will come. So I'm

good, all right, grab your Bible's turn to Matthew chapter eighteen. As

you're turning to Matthew eighteen, I want to read you a verse from Romans.

It's Romans twelve eighteen and it says, if it is possible, as

far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. I want

to ask everyone to buy your heads, close your eyes, repeat this prayer

after me. Everyone's say, Dear Jesus, speak to my heart, change

my life in Jesus's name. Amen. That song that our team was amazing,

by the way, that was really cool. That song is a song

by Carrie Underwood. It's called Flat on the Floor and it tells the story

of a girl who'd been crushed in a relationship. She opens herself up and

she allows that person back into her life again, and he crushes her again

and leaves her flat on the floor. I think every single one of us

can think of times in our life where we've been hurt, someone's crushed us,

someone's done something that has offended us, Someone's done something that's wronged us.

We've been hurt. The question, though, is how does a follower

of Jesus respond to all the hurt that happens in our life. What I

want you to understand is this kingdom of God that you and I are a

part of. That this is all about relationship. That it begins you and

I having a relationship with Jesus. But we are created by God to be

in relationship with each other. That we need each other. We need people

in our life. We need friends, We need people that we can walk

through life with, experience life with. You and I are created to be

in relationship. But to begin with understand stand that not all relationships are created

equal. So I want to give you an illustration this morning, and I

want you to think of your relationships in terms of concentric circles. They've got

an illustration for me up there. So this is the way I keep this

up. This is the way that I describe your relationships. Remember, they're

not all created equal. You have relationships with people that are in your inner

circle. These are people that maybe your family, that you are super close

with, that you deeply trust. You know that no matter what you are

experiencing in your life, you can rely on these people. This is your

inner circle. It's usually really small. Then you have another circle outside of

that, and these are people that maybe they're your chosen family. Maybe it's

your biological family, people you trust, you're really close to. Then you

have this next circle. Maybe these are people that you consider, oh,

this is like a brother, this is like a sister, someone that I'm

really close to. And then there's another circle and maybe it's your friends,

people that you hang out with, you have fun with. And then there

is that other circle where it's people that are acquaintances. You only see them

three or four times a year. Whenever you see them, you pick up

where you left off. But you wouldn't consider them people that were in your

inner circle. But you like them, you have relationship with them, they're

important to you. Then that next circle might be all the people you know

at church, like you have relationship. You're a part of Venture, and

being a part of Venture means that you're a part of this faith family and

you have like your venture people. Then you have the next circle is your

neighbors. And then you have the circle, which is just kind of other

people are you following me? So we all have relationships, but people are

somewhere in these circles for each one of us. But remember, not all

relationships are created equal. One of the problems that we have with this today

is that social media has blurred the lines of these circles. And what I

mean by that is, because you've interacted with someone a fair amount on social

media, you've mistaken in your head that you're closer to that person than you

actually are. Because that person likes your posts, comments on your posts,

occasionally messages you. You think we're really, really, really good friends.

When an actuality, they are on the circle, but they're one that's further

down. The question is what happened ends when there's conflict, What happens when

you have issues, What happens when you get hurt? What happens when you

get knocked down flat on the floor because someone crushed you? What do you

do with that? Well, Jesus actually gave us incredible advice. It's funny

to me because the world is just an absolute utter chaos right now. Let's

just be honest. I go to Turkey, where I'm supposed to be nervous

about everything that happens in the nation of Turkey, And to be honest,

I never felt unsafe at any moment in one of the largest cities in the

world. Yet I come back here and this place is crazy, like the

things that are happening, and the disunity, the fighting, the tension,

like you feel the ten in our country right now. Yesterday we all went

to bed hearing about another mass shooting in Texas. We're dealing with the issue

that happened in the subway in New York. Whatever your opinion is of that.

There's issues where California is fighting over the issue of reparations. Whatever your

opinion is of that. Whether you are on the right, left, middle

diagonal, I don't care where you are. You got to admit there's a

lot of tension and strife, disunity, and one of the number one things

that people keep saying, they keep pointing a finger no matter where you're at.

I wish these people acted more like Jesus. They say this, but

they do this. They should be like Jesus. Everybody's telling everybody to be

like Jesus. What I wonder, has anyone actually read the words of Jesus

to know what they're talking about? So let's talk about what did Jesus say

that you and I are supposed to do. What Paul says, as far

as it depends on me, and you live at peace with everyone, try

to live at peace with everyone. Well, here's what Jesus says. If

you have conflict. He says, if your brother or sister sins, go

and point out their fault just between the two of you. If they listen

to you, you've won them over. But if they will not listen,

take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by

the testimony of two or three witnesses. If they still refuse to listen,

tell it to the church. And if they refuse to listen even to the

church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. So

how would Jesus handle all the conflict that's going on around us? Now?

First off, this principle in Matthew, this is about major conflict. This

isn't about somebody said something and you misunderstood it and it kind of hurt your

feelings. This is about like real conflict. Because we need to get to

the point where we can eventually kind of just get over little stuff like nowadays

everybody takes everything personally. Everybody reads something in to every single thing that every

single person says, and everything offends everyone. There needs to come to a

point where we just let stuff go. That sometimes people have a bad day,

Sometimes we are overly emotional in a moment, and we don't respond to

what someone said or did in a way we would most of the time.

What does Jesus say to do? James says, let every person be quick

to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Jesus gives us

three paths that we walk down when it comes to dealing with conflict. I

very intentionally chose the word path, not step, because a step implies you

take one step, then after you've done it, you take the next step.

The hope here is that you will walk down one path the relationship will

be reconciled. And that's that because the goal is reconciliation, because the Kingdom

of God it is all about relationships. It's you and I loving each other,

living at peace with each other. But if we walk down one path

and it doesn't work, he's got a second path. And if that one

doesn't work, he has a third path that we can try. So let's

dig down into these paths. Are you good? Okay? I know I

just got back from Turkey. I'm supposed to be really funny, and I'm

dealing with conflict. Isn't it just brutal? Sorry, if your brother or

sister sends against you, go and point out their fault just between the two

of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.

Jesus says, if someone wrongs you, someone bothers you, someone hurts you,

you need to go to that person and tell them. Now. The

word you in that verse is used four times. There are that is an

English translation from Greek, but there are actually two Greek words that are translated

you, and each one of those words means something dramatically different. So when

you and I read this text, we are missing a nuance from this text

because of the English translation of the word you. Okay, this is taking

you to Bible college, so follow along because it's important. Okay. There

are two words in Greek for you. One is sue s o u.

The second word in Greek for you is I don't know how to pronounce it

very well, homan howman something hou am I And it's right there, Okay,

Matthew eighteen eighteen. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind

on earth shall be bound in heaven. Whatever you lose on earth shall be

loosed in heaven. The word you is used three times there between these two

verses, we see the word you seven times, but they have totally different

meanings. This is the key to you understanding the Matthew eighteen principle. Hear

me you translated s ou is singular. What does that mean? It means

you. It means what you and I think of in the English language you.

But the you translated from the word how men or whatever that word is,

is plural. In other words, it means y'all. It means plural.

So two different words for the word you that we see in English language.

One is singular, one is plural. And that is the key to

unlocking this principle, so Jesus says. The first path is you go to

the person. If someone does something that hurts you, go to that person

and tell them, give them a chance to make it right, give them

a chance to explain yourself. Sometimes we misread a situation. Go get clarity.

Sometimes we hear something and it doesn't set right with us, and we're

not sure. If that's what the person means, go ask them. I'm

not inviting you to do this today, though it happens every single Sunday,

I stand in that lobby after the service. I'll be there today. And

surely in the all the times I preached, I have said something at some

time that has been Let me continue with the country theme that has been a

bird in your saddle hike you thought. I don't. I don't know if

I like what Brandon just said. I don't. I don't know if I

agree with that. People come all the time and they say, Brandon,

you said this. Did you mean this? And sometimes I look at them

with a smile on my face and said, is exactly what I meant.

Let the Holy Spirit deal with you. But then there's other times people come

and say, Brandon, is this what you meant? And I'm like no,

no, no, no, no no, this was the context of

what I was saying it. And then they're like, oh, okay,

thank you. But you go to the person. Remember, this is an

offense against you. This is not an offense against your adult child that you

have taken up for them and want to fight their battle. It is not

some grand injustice that you were fighting against. That is not a battle that

ever involved you to begin with. This is something happened to you. One

of the major problems we have in the world is we take everyone else's fight

up. It's like, because no one follows healthy conflict resolution practices, we

all do it for everybody else. Man, I have people that fight for

me, and I didn't even know I was supposed to be mad about something

like there's people offended for me and I didn't even know I was supposed to

be offended. And then I find out, and I'm like, wait a

second, you're right that should have made me mad. But you go to

the person first. The word the word you that's used there is singular.

Individually. You go to the person and the goal is to reconcile the relationship

with the person. It helps you avoid misunderstandings. It's you go to the

person in a non threatening or embarrassing way. It helps you avoid gossip.

Here's what you don't do. You don't think well. Pastor Brandon said something

and it was a burn my saddle. So I'm gonna go find five friends

and confide in them and see if it should have bothered me, and if

those five friends agree, then I'll go to Brandon. That is called slander.

That is called gossip. That is not what Jesus is saying. He's

saying is if someone hurts you, go to that person and tell them,

did you know? Sometimes if you have relationship with people, you're gonna have

conflict. They're gonna say things to hurt your feelings. They're gonna forget to

say hi to you, They're gonna overlook you when you're really sad, and

forget to ask you how you're doing. All of the different things that people

get thrown into a tizzy over. Sometimes you just need to get over stuff.

There are times you are gonna have a conflict with someone between you and

them, and it can't get resolved because they refuse to see your side and

frankly, you refuse to see their side. So Jesus says, if you're

at that point, take the second path, bring another person with you.

What does he say? He says, if that person does not listen,

take one or two others along with you. That every charge may be established

by the evidence of two or three witnesses. First off, Jesus is telling

an audience that was very clearly understanding what he was talking about, because he

was reverting to a principle in levitical law. You see, they understood from

Deuteronomy. This is Deuteronomy in nineteen fifteen that a single witness shall not suffice

against a person for any crime or for any wrong in connection with an offense

that has been committed. Only on the evidence of two witnesses or three witnesses,

sell it shall a charge be established. Why did they have this rule.

They have this rule because of false accusations. Because he said, she

said, if there's something, there comes a point you need a witness,

the wit and this should be someone who was an eyewitness to what it happened.

Or if there is not an eye witness, bring in a third party

that comes with perspective. They're not necessarily biased towards you. They're not biased

towards the other person, but they come with some perspective because there is times

you have conflict with people and you bring in a third party and you look

at each other and they are set in their ways, you're set in yours,

and when that happens, you are responsible for you. If there's anything

that I wish I could tell you is you are responsible for how you act.

You are not responsible for how that other person acts. The number of

conflict that you have when you pastor at church with people or committees, it's

limitless. And there is many times I will be in a situation and I'll

say, well, they are ninety percent wrong. I'm ten percent wrong,

but I can't get them to acknowledge they're wrong. But in the end,

I have to stand before Jesus and give an account for me. And I

want to be right with Jesus. And if I am ten percent wrong in

the eyes of Jesus, I'm still wrong. So there are times, even

though I do not feel fully at blame for something, I will apologize simply

to live out what Roman says, as far as it depends on me,

live at peace with other people. Bring another person for Timothy five nineteen.

Do not admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or

three witnesses. Now, let me just pause for a second. I read

Twitter. I see what you post on Facebook. I know your bosses are

mean. I know if you're a teacher, you deal with parents. I

know you're frustrated with pastors. I read all about it on social media.

You don't like government officials, you don't like this, you don't like that.

Paul says, when you bring a charge against a leader, make sure

to have two or three witnesses. In other words, he's saying, before

you confront your boss, your pastor, or your leader, make sure that

there's some witnesses involved, because it has to be more than just your opinion.

One of the challenges that we have. And and I do appreciate that

there is a large group of people. I just went to the Northwest University

graduation yesterday, the banjo players. My son, he just graduated from College

Parker over here, graduated from and you and the largest major of graduates that

and you were our counseling and psychology degree people. And I appreciate that people

care about mental health. I really do. And I think there's a time

and a place for you to talk to someone and have a counselor. I

really believe that. But to some degree, we've taken that to an extreme

where we've now made our feelings authoritative like that, because I feel this way,

this is true. Did you know sometimes your feelings are deceptive. Sometimes

your feelings got hurt because your boss told you to work harder because you were

a bad employee. Sometimes you lost your job and you felt bad about it

because you should have been fired. It just happens. I don't know what

I'm saying. All right, let's keep moving. Sometimes my feelings get out

of control and I misread a situation. Sometimes I had a bad night's sleep

and I'm overly emotional, and stuff that normally wouldn't affect me really bothered me.

Sometimes you just need to let stuff go. In other words, don't

slam your boss on social media. Don't blast a cop on social media because

she gave you a ticket. Don't slander a teacher that like gave you a

bad grade when you were a sixth grader because you're now reflecting on your childhood

later on. Like, sometimes you just need to let stuff go. Let

me just quote South, Bless your soul, Bless your soul. I love

that. When Beth Moore was here, I heard her say that, like

five times, Bless your soul. It's basically like you, you you're just

being kind to somebody even though you don't like them. Bless your soul.

If that doesn't work, then Jesus says there's a third path. If you've

gone to the person and you haven't been able to reconcile. You've brought a

witness, someone with perspective, there's still tension and you don't you can't work

it out. The third path is involved leaders in your life. Involve pastors,

managers, maybe your small group leader. I don't know who it would

be, but involve leaders in your life. Jesus said, if he refuses

to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses

to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a gentile

or tax collector. That is one of the most misinterpreted verses in the Bible.

Eighteen nineteen years of leading venture. I've been to this point so many

times in relationships, and in the end, I can't get the two people

to get along. I can't get them to agree, and I always have

one person of the two. The quotes this verse in Matthew and thinks I'm

to kick the other person out of the church. Like Jesus, is not

referring to church disciplined situations. This is not an ecclesiastical issue. Is referring

to moments where you have disagreements with people. Yes, it says that you

should treat them as if they're a pagan or a tax collector. Let's go

back to the translation from Greek to English of the word you. Most of

the words for you are individual, but there is moments where that word for

you is plural. The you that is used when it says treat them as

you would a pagan is not plural. It is not saying the church should

treat them as if they're a pagan. It is singular. It is used

individually for you. What does it mean? Pop up the concentric circles means

this. If you have gone through this process where you've tried to work something

out with someone and in the end you can't, there is nothing that says

you cannot move that person to another outer circle. There are people in your

life right now that you have in your inner circle that should be here because

they keep wronging you and hurting you and offending you over and over again.

It doesn't mean you don't love them, It doesn't mean you don't care about

them. It doesn't mean you don't need them in your life. It just

means you don't need them quite as close as you've allowed them to be.

There is nothing wrong with constantly moving people in and out of these circles.

When Jesus says, treat them like a pagan. If you had someone and

they were here, and they wronged you, and you tried everything you could

to make it right, and in the end you can't. Please, don't

ask me to kick them out of the church. What you used to do

is just move them here. That's what Jesus is saying. He's saying,

you don't have to keep having this deep intimate friendship with them. You can

move them out, But in the end, the goal is reconciliation. The

goal is that you and I live at peace with each other, that we

live at peace with our neighbors, that we live at peace with people in

our community. We live at peace. But when you view your relationships in

terms of concentric circles, it's okay to move people in, and it's okay

to move people out. Harsh reality of pastoring venture. For eighteen years,

we're in the Seattle area. We live in a very transient area. People

move into Seattle, they're here for a few years, and they move.

Happens a lot. Now. Some of us have been here for a long

time, but we all know people that came in, they became part of

our inner circle, and then they got to work transfer our tech companies.

They hire people for three to five year contracts and then they get fully vested

in their stock options and they go take a job somewhere else and people move.

It just happens. For you to remain relationally healthy, you have to

be willing to let people go, to move people to other circles, to

move new people in. One of the things that I tell our staff all

the time, and anytime someone moves, our staff mourns that person that moves

every single time. If you're here, you're planning on moving out of state,

we are sad about it every single time. But I tell the staff

every time that happens, what we have to do is do this, just

open ourselves up to new relationships. Because justice people move out, people move

back in, go back to the concentric circles. Somebody might have been here

and they moved out. You still want to be friends with them, but

you're only going to talk to them on social media and maybe never see them

again. But then God brings somebody new and you move those people in.

That is how you maintain healthy boundaries, healthy relationships. That is how you

work through conflict in a way that brings honor to Jesus and allows you to

live at peace with each other and a really really crazy world. Let every

person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. Because

I have a minute great leadership book that I read when I was in grad

school in the nineties. Oh my goodness. It's called The Seven Habits of

Highly Effective Leaders. It's like one of the greatest leadership books ever written.

I always tell everybody it's a three hundred page book. Just read the heading

of the seven habits and you pretty much got the gist of the book.

But one of them is this great principle that says, seek to understand before

you're understood. And it is this idea that every one of us we want

to be heard. I mean, this is where we are in America today

when everybody to hear us. We think everybody should know our opinion about everything.

But this principle is instead, seek to understand where someone else is coming

from before you want to be understood, so you have healthy relationships. Everybody,

by your heads, close your eyes. I want to pray for you.

If you're here and you want to say Pastor Brandon, I have some

relation will hurt in my heart that I really need to get over it.

I really want to let go of. If that's you, I want to

just pray for you as I close. If you've got some hurt that you

would like Jesus to heal you of, would you raise your hand all over

you can put them down Jesus right now. You know every circumstance, you

know every situation. You know things that were done, words that were spoken,

And Lord, I pray right now that you would overwhelm these people allow

forgiveness to flow through their life life. I asked that you would heal this

hurt. In Jesus name, God, I pray that venture would be a

place that even when there's conflict and disagreements, that this would be a place

where we would strive to live at peace with each other. And I pray

that throughout this week, each one of us is reminded of this message and

we would do our best to just get along with everyone. In your name,

I pray Amen,