I Am Bartimaeus

Welcome to Gateway Churches Podcast.

Wherever you're tuning in from, we hope you're encouraged by today's message.

If you have your Bible, I want you to go to the book of Mark, and we're going to look in chapter 10, starting at verse 46, the book of Mark, chapter 10, and we're going to look at verses 46 through 52.

Mark 10 · chapter mention

Now, as you're making your way there, just to give you a little context, this is actually the last miracle that Mark records of Jesus before he goes to the cross.

Okay, so this is a pretty significant moment.

So this is Mark chapter 10, verse 46.

Mark 10:46

It says, Then they reached Jericho, and as Jesus and his disciples left town, a large crowd followed him.

A blind beggar named Bartimaeus, son of Timaeus, was sitting beside the road.

When Bartimaeus heard that Jesus of Nazareth was nearby, he began to shout, Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me.

Verse 48, Be quiet, many of the people yelled at him, but he only shouted louder.

Which sounds like what my four kids do when we ask them to be quiet.

He says, Son of David, have mercy on me.

When Jesus heard him, he stopped and said, Tell him to come here.

So they called the blind man.

Cheer up, they said, Come on, he's calling you.

Verse 50, Bartimaeus threw aside his coat, jumped up, and came to Jesus.

What do you want me to do for you?

Jesus asked.

And Jesus said to him, Go, for your faith has healed you.

And instantly the man could see, and he followed Jesus down the road.

The title of the message this weekend is I am Bartimaeus.

I am Bartimaeus.

This is the last weekend of 2023.

And just by a show of hands here and at every campus, uh, if you would say 2023 was a great year for you, would you just raise your hand up high?

Let me just see.

We just want to see the people that we don't like right now, all the hands that are up here, okay?

How many of you would say, hey, I am so ready to be done with 2023, I'm ready to get into 2024.

Okay, okay.

Regardless of how your 2023 went, I want to submit to you that as we step across the threshold into a new year, we are all Bartimaeus.

Let me explain.

When we are introduced to Bartimaeus in the scriptures, we find out that Bartamaeus is blind.

We don't know if he was born blind or if he became blind.

We just know that he was operating in the dark.

In other words, he could not see what was ahead of him.

All of us, although we may not be physically blind, the reality is that you and I cannot see what's ahead of us.

We're also like Bartimaeus because the Bible says that because of his condition, he's a beggar.

He is actually considered at the very bottom of the totem pole in this society, and he is living in poverty.

His circumstances, though, are exacerbated by his name.

Because the meaning of his name is very interesting.

Bar means son of, and Timaeus means valued highly or highly prized.

In other words, Bartimaeus is living in poverty, but he is the son of someone who is highly prized.

I believe that Bartimaeus feels the tension in the circumstances, and he knows there must be something more for me.

In other words, Bartimaeus is searching for purpose.

I believe that all of us, as we step into 2024, although we may not be in poverty, our hearts cry is, Lord, would you purpose 2024 for me?

And then finally, we know that Bartimaeus has something that he wants Jesus to do for him.

I would submit to you that all of us in our honest moments today, there is a desire, there is a prayer, there is something that we want Jesus to do for us in 2024.

So the truth is we're all Bartimaeus.

And I thought, since we're all Bartimaeus, then as we step into 2024, we should probably learn from Bartimaeus.

And so I just want to give you today a couple of observations about Bartimaeus.

Here's point number one if you're taking notes.

Barmaeus hears.

Bartimaeus hears.

In fact, here's what I'd love for you to do here and at every campus.

I want you to turn to your neighbor right now, just look them in the eye and just say, You won't believe what I heard about you last week.

Just say that to him.

Just let them know.

You won't even believe the rumor mill is out.

It's out.

Bartimaeus hears.

In Mark chapter 10, verse 47, the scripture says, When Bartimaeus heard that Jesus of Nazareth was nearby, he began to shout, Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me.

Mark 10:47

I want you to notice that Bartimaeus' introduction to Jesus is not based on something he saw.

His introduction to Jesus is actually based on something he heard.

In other words, because Bartimaeus is blind, he has learned to depend on his other senses, especially his sense of hearing.

Bartimaeus is not dependent on what he sees, he is dependent on what he hears.

In fact, it is what he hears that Jesus is nearby that actually inspires his hope.

It is his auditory information that moves him to action.

In fact, he reminds me of the psalmist in Psalm 27, verse 8.

Psalms 27:8

He says, My heart has heard you say, Come and talk with me.

And my heart responds, Lord, I am coming.

He says, I've heard you.

And my response to hearing you is, Lord, I'm coming.

It's move me to action.

And this is so important for us today, church, because according to Paul in 2 Corinthians chapter 5, verse 7, as believers, we walk by faith and not by sight.

2 Corinthians 5:7

Paul actually elaborates on this in Romans chapter 10, verse 17.

Romans 10:17

He says, so then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

In other words, as believers, we live not by what we see in the world.

We live by what we hear in the word.

Let me say that again.

As believers, we step into 2024, we live not by what we see in the world, we live by what we hear in God's word.

And I love this about Barnabai because Bartimaeus actually puts himself in a position to listen.

The scripture says that he's set by the side of the road.

Why is he there?

Because he's listening.

He's listening.

I I love Psalm 85, verse 8.

Psalms 85:8

It says, I listen carefully to what God the Lord is saying, for he speaks peace to his faithful people.

Come on, aren't you thankful that the Lord speaks peace today?

Amen?

He speaks peace to his faithful people.

John chapter 10, verse 27, my sheep listen to my voice.

John 10:27

I know them and they follow me.

These sheep are in a place or a position to listen.

A great example of this is in the book of Acts.

Acts chapter 10, the Bible tells us about Peter and how God speaks to Peter in Acts chapter 10, and it actually becomes a catalyst for the gospel going forward to the Gentiles.

Acts 10 · chapter mention Acts 10 · chapter mention

The Bible shares that in this particular scene, Peter is praying, and the Bible says that there is a blanket that comes down.

And on this particular blanket, there are animals, reptiles, birds.

And when Peter sees these animals, these particular animals are considered unclean or impure based on the Jewish law.

Now, in my mind, because I'm from Louisiana and I like Cajun food, I just always dream that when the sheep came down, he saw gumbo.

He saw crawfish.

But the Bible says he sees this and hears a voice that says, kill and eat, and Peter says, No way, but ultimately it ends up being the catalyst that God uses to have the gospel go forward to the Gentiles.

Now, the reason why this is important is because the way that Peter received the revelation was that he put himself in a position to listen.

Let me explain.

This is Acts chapter 10, verse 9.

Acts 10:9

The next day, as Cornelius' messengers were nearing the town, Peter went on the flat roof to pray.

Why did he go on the flat roof?

Because he wanted to put himself in a position to listen.

I need to encourage some of you this day.

The reality is that God is calling us to a place where we need to start putting ourselves in a position to listen.

Do you know why we have the first conference?

We have the first conference because we want to gather corporately so we can put ourselves in a position to listen to what God is speaking to us.

Do you know why we have the devotional?

We have the devotional because we want to gather together and read the same scripture, study the same word so that we can put ourselves in a position to listen.

Do you know why we have small groups?

It's so that we can gather together in community so that we can put ourselves in a position to listen.

Because this year, God's calling us to put ourselves in a position to listen so that, like Bartimaeus, we are moved, motivated, and anchored, not in what we see in the world, but by what we hear in God's word.

Come on, can I get an amen today?

So Bartimaeus hears.

Not only does Bartimaeus hear, but Bartimaeus praise.

Bartermaeus praise.

Now, today I brought a picture of my two-year-old son Justice.

And uh, yeah, isn't he cute?

The problem is my kids know they're cute.

Okay, anybody else kids know they're cute?

That's a whole another story.

But but justice, if you look at this picture of justice, you will notice that justice is prepared for anything, okay?

Because he has his bike, but he's also wearing floaties.

Because you you just don't know what will happen in a day, right?

So he's prepared, but I show you this picture of justice because justice, like all of our kids, he loves to pray, but but he he he just has a passion for prayer.

Okay, and it started off where we would gather as a family over over dinner and we'd say, Who wants to pray?

And justice would raise his hand and he'd go, Daddy, I pray, I pray.

And so we go, Okay, let's let justice pray.

And so we would all close our eyes, and then there was this awkward moment of silence because we're all waiting on justice to pray.

And so we just sit there for a moment, nothing happens.

We look up, and then he goes, Jesus, amen, and we go, Amen.

And then as he got loader, he started adding more vocabulary words to it.

And so we would say, Hey, who wants to pray?

He goes, Daddy, I pray, I pray.

We go, okay.

We close our eyes, still the awkward moments of silence, and and then we'd look up and he'd go, Jesus, thank, Amen.

Well, recently he decided to go Pentecostal on us because um he's seen me when I pray over our kids.

Uh, sometimes I will walk and I will place my hands on them and just lay my hands on them and bless them.

And so he's seen me do this.

And so one time I said, Hey, who wants to pray?

And he goes, Daddy, I pray.

Okay, Justice.

Well, he hops up off the couch and he starts walking over.

And he's got this serious preacher face, but he doesn't say anything.

He just walks over to each of the kids.

And then he got to me and he went, and I just passed out under the spirit.

I went, I'm just kidding.

I didn't do that.

That would that would have been that would have been wrong.

But I love justice because he's he's simple but sincere.

And he reminds me of Bartimaeus because the scripture says about Bartimaeus in Mark 10, 47, when he heard Jesus of Nazareth was nearby, he began to shout, Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me.

He is praying, and his prayer begins with a proclamation.

He starts off and he says, Jesus, son of David, which is interesting because that is not what was first stated.

What was first stated was Jesus of Nazareth.

But Bartimaeus, for some reason, changes the title to son of David.

In fact, this is the first time that title is used in the book of Mark.

And he says, son of David.

The reason why he says that is because son of David is a messianic reference.

He is remembering 2 Samuel chapter 7, verses 14 through 16.

2 Samuel 7:14–16

He's remembering Isaiah chapter 9, verses 6 and 7.

Isaiah 9:6

He's remembering that the word says that the Messiah, the anointed one, the one who would save the people, is going to come through the lineage of David.

So when Bartimaeus says you're the son of David, he says, I know you're the Messiah.

I know who you are.

And church, I just want to remind you, I know that there are questions about who Jesus was and who Jesus is, but let me remind us all again today that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.

Jesus is the bread of life, He is the resurrection, He is our Redeemer, He is our hope, He is a faithful friend, He is the Savior of the world, and He is the Son of David.

Amen.

He says, I know who you are.

And then he continues his prayer and he says, Have mercy on me.

He doesn't ask for money, he doesn't ask for material possessions.

No, he asks for mercy.

Have mercy on me.

Have compassion on me.

Deal kindly with me.

I love it because it is not profound or prolific, but it is pure and it is persistent.

I say it's persistent because the scripture tells us that when Bartimaeus called out to Jesus, the people tried to silence him.

And instead of being silenced, he got louder.

He he reminds me of my grandmother.

My grandmother, her name is Millie.

She's gone on to be with the Lord, but but my grandmother was one of those praying grandmothers.

Anybody have one of the praying grandmothers, all the campuses?

So Grandma Millie was a praying grandmother.

She was about five feet tall, she weighed about 90 pounds.

She dropped out of school after the eighth grade, so she had no theological formal training.

She didn't know anything about homiletics, hermeneutics, exegesis, but she knew how to pray.

She knew how to pray.

And in fact, um my my uncle, my mother's, my grandmother's uh son, had a season of his life where he was very far, far from God.

And he got involved in drugs and and really experiencing everything that the world had to offer.

And my grandmother decided, I am going to pray.

And so she prayed every day, every week, every month, every year, not for one year, not for five years, not for ten years, not for fifteen years, not even for twenty years.

But she prayed every day, every week, every month, every year for over twenty years.

Until finally, one day, my uncle surrendered his life to Jesus, and he was so radically saved, God called him into ministry, and now he's a pastor in the Portland, Oregon area.

And how many know we need pastors in Portland, right?

But listen, listen.

My grandmother was persistent in her prayer because she understood something.

This is what Matthew chapter 7, verse 7 says, Jesus talking about prayer.

Matthew 7:7

He says, keep on asking.

You will receive what you ask for.

Keep on seeking and you will find.

Keep on knocking, and the door will be open to you.

For everyone who asks receives.

Everyone who seeks finds, and everyone who knocks, the door will be open.

Listen, my grandmother kept praying because she understood Luke chapter 18, verse 1.

Luke 18:1

One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show them that they should always pray and never, everybody say never, and never give up.

Church, I want to encourage you today.

We don't need to give up, we need to get loud.

Some of us need to leave today and go back into our prayer closets and say, listen, I'm gonna pray for my husband, I'm gonna pray for my wife, I'm going to pray for my kids, I'm going to pray for my grandkids, I'm gonna pray for my church, I'm going to pray for my city.

I believe I'm not going to give up, devil.

I'm going to get louder.

Come on, how many people know this is our time, this is our year.

It's not time to give up, church.

It's time to get loud.

We need to get loud.

Can I tell you this is why we have 21 days of prayer coming up and fasting?

You know why?

Because God's calling us not to give up, but to get loud.

To get loud.

There are some of us that we have a commute to work.

And instead of this year, where you would normally, on your commute to work, listen to talk radio, what if you talk to God?

What if you actually take a few moments and say, I'm going to pray through my day?

What if you decided, and what if we decided as a church, this year we're not gonna give up, we're going to get loud like Bartamaeus.

See, Bartimaeus praise.

I love what the Dutch author and speaker Corey Tinboon asked one time.

She said, Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?

In other words, is it your first response or your last resort?

For Bartimaeus, it was his first response.

And I believe that God's calling us to make prayer our first response this year.

Can I get an amen?

Number three, Bartimaeus obeys.

Bartimaeus obeys.

Mark chapter 10, verse 49, it says, When Jesus heard him, he stopped and said, Tell him to come here.

Mark 10:49

So they called the blind man.

Cheer up, they said, Come on, he's calling you.

Bartimaeus threw aside his coat, jumped up, and came to Jesus.

Now, now you've got to see this picture, okay?

Because Jesus is on his way out of Jericho, going to Jerusalem.

He's with his entourage.

The Bible says there was a crowd of people.

So you got to see Jesus and all of his homies walking out.

And Jesus hears the desperate call, the faith-filled call of a blind man, and so on his way out, which is this is an eight, a 17 or 18-mile trek, on his way out, Jesus stops, turns around, and says, Call this guy to me.

Now it reminds me of, I don't know if you've ever done this before.

Have you ever taken a road trip with your family?

Long road trip, and you pack up everything, and just before you turn out the neighborhood, you hear this little voice in the back, I left something.

Anybody had that experience?

I left something.

We got to stop.

I left something.

Now that's never happened to me with my four kids because we're perfect, but other people, I hear that happens too.

It's kind of like you get this feeling with Jesus that he's on his way out and he stops.

Because the son of Timaeus calls out to the son of David, and now the son of David calls back out to the son of Timaeus.

And he says, Come here, come here.

And I love this because the Bible says that Bartimaeus throws off his coat, jumps up, and goes to Jesus.

Now most theologians believe that this coat actually was a coat that was issued by the government to identify Barmaeus as a beggar.

They also believe that this coat was a Was how Bartimaeus collected money.

So, in a very real way, this coat for Bartimaeus represented identity and provision.

So get this picture.

When Jesus calls him, Bartimaeus takes that coat and he throws it off, as if to say, that's my old identity.

I'm not that person anymore.

And I am trusting in the provision of the Lord for my future.

This reminds us, church, of 2 Corinthians chapter 5, verse 17, where Paul says, this means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person.

2 Corinthians 5:17

The old life is gone, a new life has begun.

Aren't you thankful for new life today?

And so he comes to Jesus, but this is amazing when you think about it because Bartimaeus did all that and he didn't know what Jesus was going to do.

Like he had faith, he hoped that Jesus would do something, but he didn't know what the outcome or the fruit of his obedience would be.

In other words, Bartimaeus was obedient without the certainty of a specific outcome.

He was obedient without the certainty of a specific outcome.

He reminds me of a dear friend of mine named James.

James and I played high school football together.

He was the center on our football team.

And James and I both started walking with the Lord as teenagers.

And when we got saved, we just wanted everybody to know about Jesus.

And so James had this God idea, okay?

He he actually went to our head coach and asked him about it.

He said, I want to, after our football games on Friday nights, I want to go to the other team and I want to ask their head coach, could I share with the team for a moment?

And I would just like to share something about the team, but then I want to share my testimony.

Now we went to a private Christian school, but in Louisiana we played against other public schools.

So this is a this is a big deal.

Well, our coach says, sure, James, if they will let you talk to their team, you can do that.

And sure enough, almost every single team allowed James to come and share.

So after the games on Friday nights, James would walk over to the opposing team and he would say something about the team, and then he would start to talk about his testimony.

I was lost.

I was far from God.

I was separated from God because of my sin.

But God loved me so much that he sent his only son, Jesus, to die for me so that I could be forgiven, so that I could have a relationship with him, so that I could spend forever with him in eternity, so that I could expand his kingdom here on the earth.

And I finally said yes to Jesus.

And when I said yes to Jesus, he changed my life.

And so that's what James would share.

Well, last year, James got married, and our head coach officiated the ceremony.

And at the rehearsal dinner, our head coach shared this story I had never heard before.

He said, Several years after James graduated, a guy and his son showed up on the football field.

And so, since my head coach didn't recognize this gentleman, he walks over to him, introduces himself, and the gentleman introduces himself and tells him about his son, but then he goes on to say, hey, I'm here because I was a player on an opposing team across the city.

And I brought my son with me today because I wanted my son to see the place where I gave my life to Jesus.

Because there was a young man after the football game who was bold enough and brave enough to share his testimony.

And when he shared his testimony, I gave my life to Jesus.

So I came back for that.

Can I just tell you something?

James, James is not prolific.

James is not charismatic.

He's not a great orator.

You know what James is?

He is obedient.

He is obedient.

He just, God, if you want me to do it, I will do it.

I need to speak to some of you young people today.

The reality is that we say this all the time at Gateway Church.

There is no junior Holy Spirit.

The same Holy Spirit that's in Pastor Robert, that's in Pastor James, that's in Pastor Bridget, is the same Holy Spirit that's in you.

God is not looking for gifted people.

God is looking for available people.

He is looking for young people that say, God, you can use me.

Use me to change my school.

Use me to change my football team.

Use me to change this generation.

I'll be obedient, God.

I'll do it.

I need to speak to some of you businessmen and businesswomen.

There are things that are stirring in your heart, and I want you to be diligent and to process and to plan.

But I also feel like occasionally God will say, I'm calling you to be like Abram.

I'm calling you to be like Abram in Genesis chapter 12, verse 1, where he says, Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father's family, and go to the land that I will show you.

Genesis 12:1

I'm not going to show it all to you yet.

You're going to have to go before I show you.

You're going to have to step out and be obedient.

And God is calling some of us to step into that space.

There are some of us that have spiritual gifts that are lying dormant because we're waiting on everything, the ecosystem to be perfect.

And God says, no, no, no, no, no.

It is time for you to cultivate that gift.

It is time for you to exercise that gift.

It is time for you to step out and be obedient.

And trust me with the results.

Bartimaeus is obedient.

Without the certainty of a specific outcome.

God's calling us to be obedient.

Here's number four.

Bartimaeus names.

Bartimaeus names.

In verse 51, Jesus says to him, What do you want me to do for you?

Jesus asked.

My rabbi, the blind man, said, I want to see.

This is fascinating to me.

Because Jesus is asking a blind man, What do you want me to do for you?

Like, if it wasn't Jesus, I would think this is the most insensitive, disengaged question anyone could ever ask.

I mean, the guy's blind, right?

It's like, Jesus, you know this answer.

This this to me is like the question that my wife asks me occasionally.

She will say, Jelani, how do I look in this dress?

Church, I know the answer.

I know that listen, any man that's been married longer than a week, you know the answer to that question.

It doesn't matter what she really looks like.

You know what I said, she says, How do I look in this dress?

Girl, ooh, mm-hmm.

Listen, when you put on that dress, you change my life.

I want to be a better person because of that dress.

Even if it's a potato sack, I'm like, girl, you're the best Idaho potato I've ever seen in my life.

That's what I'm talking about.

I mean, you know the answer, right?

And so Jesus asked this question that you initially you think he knows the answer.

And so there must be something else under the surface that Jesus wants to address.

I believe that there are several reasons why Jesus asked him this question.

The first one, I believe, is that he wanted to contrast the request of Bartimaeus with the request of James and John.

See, just a few verses before, James and John have a similar dialogue with Jesus.

Here's how theirs goes.

In Mark chapter 10, verse 35, it says, Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came over and spoke to him.

Mark 10:35

Teacher, they said, We want you to do us a favor.

And listen to Jesus' response.

What is your request?

Very similar.

What do you want me to do for you?

He asked.

They replied, When you sit on your glorious throne, we want to sit in places of honor next to you, one on your right and the other on your left.

In other words, James and John respond to this question by saying, We want a position.

We want power, we want prestige.

Bartimaeus, on the other hand, he doesn't want power, he doesn't want a position, he doesn't want prestige.

Bartimaeus says, Jesus, I need you to deal with my source of pain.

I need you to give me purpose.

See, James and John say, we want honor, we want notoriety, we want fame.

And Bartimaeus says, I'm not asking for those things, Jesus.

I just need you to fix my eyes.

And I believe he asked for Jesus to fix his eyes because he wanted to follow Jesus better.

The reason why I say that is because the very first thing that Bartimaeus does after Jesus heals him is not go back to Jericho.

The very first thing that he does is he starts to follow Jesus.

And what he does first communicates his priority.

I believe that Bartimaeus asked Jesus to let him see, not only for a practical need, but I believe it's the one thing that was keeping Bartimaeus from following Jesus the way he really wanted to.

So I'm asking you to let me see.

I believe there's another reason, though, and that is I believe Jesus is giving Bartimaeus an opportunity to name his need.

To name his need, there is something about naming our needs, about putting words around what we want.

There is something vulnerable, and yet something very courageous that when we are willing to name what it is that we really need, in the presence of God and in the presence of others.

See, my wife and I recently experienced this.

I told you that this is our 12th anniversary, and our prayer for 12 years has really always been the same.

And that is, God, give us not a good marriage, give us a great marriage.

Well, about the last two years, we started noticing a shift in our marriage.

We still loved each other, we were committed to one another, but there was a heaviness.

And in fact, the way we described it is we just didn't laugh like we used to.

And so we we shared with some close friends, we began to pray about this.

And I remember reading in the book of Genesis, chapter 26, where Isaac actually lies about his wife Rebecca.

Genesis 26 · chapter mention

Remember this?

He he says that she is his sister because he's afraid that she looks so good that the other guys are gonna kill him and take her.

Now, she probably wasn't wearing a potato sack at that point.

She had it going on, but but I read this and I found something very interesting, interesting in Genesis 26, verse 8, when I read it in the English Standard Version.

Genesis 26:8

Here's what it says Genesis 26, verse 8.

Genesis 26:8

It says, when he had been there a long time, this is talking about Isaac, Abimelech, the king of the Philistines, looked out over the window and saw Isaac laughing with Rebekah, his wife.

So Abimelech called Isaac and said, Behold, she is your wife.

How then could you say, She is my sister?

Now, what's interesting about this text is that it appears that Abimelech looks out the window and he sees an interaction between Isaac and Rebekah that's a tip-off.

Most translations translate the word laughing.

They actually translate the word to caress.

As if he looks out the window and he sees Isaac caressing Rebekah.

But the ESV translates it laughing.

And the reason why the ESV translates this word laughing is because it's the same Hebrew word that's used to describe Sarah when she finds out she's going to have a child.

The Bible says she laughed.

So there's a chance that Abimelech looked out the window and he saw Isaac caressing Rebecca, but there is also a chance that he looked out the window and he saw two people laughing.

And he said, That's not the way friends laugh, that's the way lovers laugh.

And so the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, You begin to pray the laughter back in your marriage.

So we start praying this way.

Well, this spring, my wife and I were actually in the process of transitioning out of Gateway, and we were looking at planting a church in the Texas Hill country.

And Gateway was graciously going to plant us, and we were walking through that process.

And the plan was that in the summer I would go on sabbatical and take a few weeks off, and then when I returned from sabbatical, I was going to join our network team, and they were going to give me an opportunity to start driving to the Texas Hill country to find out where we were going to live and launch the church.

Well, in the middle of sabbatical, I was at a family reunion playing basketball, and I found out that I am not Steph Curry.

And unfortunately, I went to drive the lane and I popped my Achilles tendon.

Yeah, it was bad.

It was bad.

It was especially bad because just before I popped my Achilles tendon, I went over to the cameras.

My wife and my cousin's wife were filming, and I walked up to the cameras and I said, Get this on film, get this on film.

It was an amazing display of humility by the pastor around all of his lost relatives.

And so I popped my Achilles tendon and I found out a couple days later talking to the orthopedic surgeon, he says, I need to tell you what's going on.

He says, You're not going to be able to walk or drive for three months.

And it's going to take you a full year to recover.

Instantly I moved into disorientation.

Was just so confused.

God, what is going on here?

This wasn't part of the plan.

This was supposed to be the time where I would come back and I'm driving to the Texas Hill Country to find out where we're going.

And so my wife and I begin to pray and ask, Is this the devil and we just need to push through it?

Or God, you didn't cause it, but maybe you allowed it and this is a divine stop sign.

And ultimately we felt like it was a divine stop sign.

And Gateway has been so gracious to allow my wife and I to still be a part of this amazing family, and we are so thankful for that.

But we also didn't know that God was up to something else, a deeper work in us, because what most people don't know is that when we had our first child nine years ago, my wife went through postpartum depression.

And we didn't know what it was at the time, we just knew that she really struggled after having the baby.

In fact, we met with the counselor, and the counselor later on apologized to us because she said, Listen, we I'm sorry, I misdiagnosed you.

You actually had postpartum depression.

Well, my response to the postpartum depression was to go into full caregiver mode.

I just said, Okay, babe, I uh you're struggling right now, I'm going to take care of you.

You don't have to worry about anything, I'll take care of you and I'll take care of this baby.

And that was probably appropriate for the season, but even after she came out of the postpartum depression, I still operated like a caregiver.

In fact, she would say I was always very encouraging to her, but the truth is I was also a person that fragilized her.

And so me doing everything, taking care of everything, became the ecosystem of our family.

And then you had another kid, and another kid, and another kid.

What happened, church, is over the last couple of years, in my effort to make things better, I started becoming bitter towards her.

And at the same time, the enemy is bombarding my wife with shame.

Shaming her for what you're not as a wife, what you're not, as a mother.

And all of this is converging together, and we don't even know it.

So now, with the context of me popping my Achilles tendon, not able to do anything, here we are, sitting at home, and Jelani, the caregiver superhero, can't do a thing.

The first three days, my wife has a meltdown.

She's like, baby, I can't do this.

And I'm like, you can and you have to.

And then after the first three days, she starts killing it, church.

She is like amazing.

And instead of me being excited, I am so angry.

I'm so mad.

I'm like, you should have been doing this for nine years.

Where were you?

And all of this anger just starts to come out of me.

It's so bad, church, that I go, we need to go to counseling.

We need to go to counseling.

And so we meet with the counselor again.

And as we share everything that's going on, she begins to paint reality for us.

She says, Okay, let me let me help you understand what's taking place here.

She said, You guys love each other, you're committed to each other, you're not going anywhere.

She said, But you have had a crack in the foundation of your marriage.

And if you had gone to the Texas Hill country to plant a church, the pressure of a church plant would have caused that crack to move to a significant chasm, and there's no telling what would have happened to your marriage.

And so God, in his goodness, allowed you to pop your Achilles tendon to bring the crack to the surface so that he could strengthen your marriage.

This is actually the goodness of God.

God says, I need to deal with the bitterness in you, Jelani.

I need to deal with the shame in you, Aaron, that you're wrestling with.

Because I'm actually trying to answer your prayer.

I want to give you not a good marriage, but a great marriage.

I want to bring the laughter back in your marriage.

And what we realize, church, is that this wasn't about a church plant.

This was about God changing to people.

And can I tell you our marriage isn't perfect now, but it's the best it's ever been.

And can I tell you, we have laughed more in the last few months than we have laughed in years.

Why?

Because God is so good and He allowed us to name our need.

I want to encourage you, church, as we step into 2024.

We're Bartimaeus.

Bartimaeus hears, Bartimaeus prays, Bartimaeus obeys, and Bartimaeus names.

I want you to bow your heads and close your eyes.

And I want us to simply answer the question that Pastor Robert asks us every weekend.

And that is, what is the Holy Spirit saying to me through this message?

For some of us, the Holy Spirit is speaking to us about putting ourselves in a position to listen.

We need to hear from God this year.

For some of us, the Holy Spirit is speaking to us about praying.

It's not time to give up, it's time to get loud.

For some of us, the Holy Spirit is speaking to us about being obedient.

For some of us, the Holy Spirit is speaking to us about naming our need.

In a moment, I'm going to pray.

And when I say Amen, the pastors at each of the campuses are going to come up and they're going to lead us in a time where we have an opportunity to respond.

You're actually going to have an opportunity to pray with other leaders at the front of the church to name your need.

So, what's the Holy Spirit saying to you?

Father, I pray for all of us that as we step into 2024, that we would be like Bartimaeus.

That we would hear your voice.

We would petition in prayer.

We would obey your voice.

And we would have the courage to name our needs in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Amen.

Come on, let's thank God for this word.

Thanks for joining us today.

If you'd like to connect with us, text Connect to 71010 or visit gatewaypeople.com.

We hope you have a great week.