All In the Family | Heather Sullivan, Jason Gore & Ayren Nelson

And a lot of work with a lot of fun. Isn't that a great story? Yeah,

that is, uh,

as Jim and Jackie Green and what they've done is they have used their farm to

actually provide a place for,

for families or for kids who actually struggling to find a place to belong.

I mean, that's been their journey from success to significance.

And I'm telling you, uh,

that those two are saints and have the privilege of knowing their family and

their son and daughter-in-Law. Uh, but uh,

you also heard them talk about fostering hope. Fostering hope,

if you don't know,

is one of our ministries that we've launched here at Hope that really has the

exact same mission.

How do we come alongside of those that are struggling to find a place to belong

in a family and help them find that? And so it's,

it's incredible when you see like a powerful partnership come together with

those who are willing to be generous, uh,

to bring hope to those who desperately need it. So great story.

Thank you to everyone who's generosity helps that mission and vision come to

life A happy Mother's Day weekend. Alright moms,

we wanna celebrate you.

And I know that while the responsibilities on moms are different from family to

family, one thing that is consistent,

I is the hope and the love and the brightness that you bring to our families and

to our communities leaves every one of us in a better place.

And so on behalf of Hope Community Church, uh, for me personally,

I just wanna say thank you. We, uh,

we wanted to do something special this weekend and I had this realization

that I confirmed by actually talking to real moms, uh,

that most mothers actually,

as opposed to hearing a message that's encouraging just to moms would prefer a

time on Mother's Day weekend, uh, of strengthening the entire family.

And the reality is the biblical family right now is actually being deconstructed

and culture in a way that's, it's hurting all of our,

our sense of belonging and our sense of purpose. And we said, you know,

we're just gonna hit this thing head on.

We're gonna lift up high what it is that God says about families.

And so this weekend you are in for a treat. Uh,

in just a moment you are going to hear from our very own Mrs. Heather Sullivan

and she's gonna come out here and she's gonna talk to you, uh, to our moms,

really parents overall,

I'm then going to come back out a little bit less of a treat and I'm gonna talk

to the men, uh, to the husbands, to the dads in the room.

And then our very own Aaron Nelson is going to come out and he asked me to let

you know that he's going to speak to all of the children in the room so you can

figure out what that means when he comes out here. And then as we,

what we're gonna do though, we're gonna take a look at different aspects, uh,

of the family through a biblical perspective. And then when we wrap up,

we're actually gonna have a couple of our elders come out and their spouses and

pray a prayer blessing over the families of Hope Community Church.

And we're all gonna leave better for it. We're gonna be encouraged, okay?

And so I'm not gonna waste any more time.

If you would please welcome to the stage Mrs. Heather Sullivan.

So that sound, I would have to tell you that if my brain had a heartbeat,

that would be the sound that you would hear.

And that sound is increasing in intensity by the day.

And it's because I have an 18-year-old and I have a 15-year-old and we are only

weeks away from graduation.

And as much as I've tried over the course of time to be intentional,

I have felt that countdown. Have you felt a countdown?

Those of you who are parents just playing in the back of your mind,

I have felt that countdown. And as we get closer and closer to graduation,

here we are alive on location with a mom who's getting ready to launch her first

out. And honestly, when I'm asked, how do you feel about that mom?

Unprepared is the only word I can think of for as hard as I tried to prepare

every podcast I listen to every book that I read, all the blogs that I followed,

and every person that I asked for advice from, I still feel unprepared.

And honestly it hurts more than I wanted to.

I didn't wanna feel this pain. But the reality is,

here's something that I know about pain that I've learned over time and I'm

applying here. If you look in Romans chapter five, verses three through four,

you'll find that pain with the right perspective can be tremendously valuable.

We hear Paul say that if we rejoice in our suffering because we know that

suffering produces perseverance,

then perseverance will produce character and character will produce hope.

And who doesn't need some hope,

especially in a situation where there's a little pain.

And then practically speaking, let's talk about practical.

If a child touches a hot burner on a stove, what are they immediately gonna do?

Cry.

Draw their hand back and they're gonna remember that and it's gonna be seared

into their brain. Do not touch hot.

Well this pain that I'm feeling and the pain that probably some of you are

feeling is a very specific type. It's called grief.

And for a little while here I wouldn't recognize it as that,

but that's what it is.

And grief is different because is specifically associated with

loss. It's specifically associated with an emptiness.

And I would say that that's how I feel. But guys, when I became a parent,

that's not how this conversation started. It starts with all the fun stuff,

all the things that you imagine it's gonna be like. Starts with um, showers.

And thank goodness this was wasn't a thing. Gender reveal parties. Uh,

too many parties and these tiny Nikes, have you seen the tiny shoes?

It's adorable. What you don't hear a lot is the conversations about grief.

But in the realm of parenting, there actually are plenty of them.

Some of you who are watching online are not here on Mother's Day because it's

just too much.

And I understand that there's things associated in the realm of parenting,

like infertility, actually not being able to become a parent.

You get a diagnosis while you're pregnant that you weren't expecting.

And all of a sudden you realize this might not go exactly as you thought for

your child. Life might be a little harder and you grieve that maybe like me,

you faced a miscarriage at some point.

Or maybe you've done as hard a parenting job as you can and your kids have gone

prodigal.

Maybe you're watching your teenagers struggle with anxiety or mental health or

maybe like me, here you are on the verge of letting go.

And grief is an intruder. Grief is a taker and we don't know what to do with it.

We wanna silence it, we wanna shove it away. We want it to end quickly.

We wanna at least be able to manage it if there's seven steps to it,

where am I and what's next? And how am I gonna deal with that when I get there?

In my experience,

one of the most famous passages of scripture that helps us deal with our grief

is Psalm 23.

And I wanna go through that with you right now and I want you to act like you've

never heard it before. And I want you to put it in the light of parenting.

Psalm 23 says, the Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters.

He refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right path for his namesake.

And even though I walk through the darkest valley,

I will fear no evil for you are with me, your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

You prepare a table for before me in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil and my cup overflows.

Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and I will

dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Now where's the place that you most commonly hear that passage of scripture

read? It's really interactive here. Funerals.

Thank you and funerals.

And when I have been in funerals and I've listened to that passage of scripture,

it has meant something to me and it has been comforting.

So as I took this situation and this grief that I was feeling and tried to apply

it to this passage or have this passage apply to it, I searched for those words.

But you know what happened instead?

That very first line hit me right where it hurts.

The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want.

Now I felt challenged instantly because I would tell you the Lord is my

shepherd.

I've had the blessing of knowing a relationship with Jesus and having a

relationship with Jesus and since I was a little girl, but here I am wanting

and this says that I won't.

And because I'm wanting and I'm not getting what I want, I'm grieving.

And just as that pain of that hot burner

communicate something to a child, that grief has something to say to me.

And grief has something to say to all of us. And I don't want you to miss this.

And here's what I'm not gonna say.

God does not expect you to go through life without grief.

And I'm not gonna tell you not to grieve and you're not gonna tell me,

and I'm not gonna tell me not to grieve.

But this is what you do need to know about grief. Grief creates a gap,

that gap that has that emptiness attached to it and it forces an important

question. So when you feel that emptiness as a result of grief,

this is what you should be asking yourself. What do I feel that I have lost?

What is it that's creating that gap in the court? In the case of our parenting,

it often is the exact thing that is creating a gap in our trust of our shepherd.

For me, what is it that I'm not trusting?

Perhaps I'm not trusting that Seth will be okay.

Perhaps I'm not trusting that God can feel what I think is gonna be a vacancy

with more goodness than what I could imagine.

Perhaps I'm not trusting that there's even more beauty ahead or that

God's plan is better than the one I would've come up with.

Or maybe I'm not trusting that God could love my child more

than I could. You see,

God has things to do in Seth's life that can't happen if he stays where he is.

And what do I really want from him to stay with me?

Y'all I'm a hot mess. He doesn't need to stay with me.

If he does,

he won't ever reach that place where he feels the feeling of lacking nothing.

And here's where the threat lies for us as parents, the threat.

When I am fearful of him going away,

I'm putting myself in the place that the shepherd, the good shepherd,

is supposed to hold. I am just an under shepherd, a guide, a protector,

a provider for a time. And truthfully that time is probably largely passed.

Really, I'm just an older, wiser sheep

and so are all of us. My job becomes to model well.

And if I'm vulnerable enough as a parent,

then my kids get to see the good shepherd.

Pull me back from mistakes that I've made and forgive.

They get to see me led beside quiet waters.

They get to see me resting and finding comfort and finding a cup that overflows.

And they get to walk alongside me as I walk alongside him and hear his voice

closely enough so that in that proximity they will find

that they understand and know the voice of their shepherd.

Because here's the point that proximity matters because

sheep are dumb. And I'm not just talking about our kids.

Sometimes I'm talking about us. We're dumb. We're prone to wander.

And if we wander away and our kids are following us because that's what sheep

do, we've now led them away.

We've led them away from the voice that they most need to hear.

In the Book of John, we find when uh,

Jesus describes himself as the good shepherd and he says that as the good

shepherd, he lays down his life for his sheep. And then don't miss this.

In that exact same passage he warns that there is a thief who comes only to

steal and kill and destroy that thief.

Look at the thieving of all as he comes to wreck our homes and our kids

future homes.

By having us be the ones who in our own insecurity lead them so far away from

the good shepherd,

that they don't recognize the voice of the one who has laid down his life.

For them, our pride leads them to want to depend on us.

And we get in the way of what it is that God can do in their lives.

The green pastures, the still waters, the rest and the goodness and the mercy.

And when we point out those things instead to our kids,

when we get out of the way and we're willing to share our own failures and what

it is that the good shepherd can do, his voice becomes more familiar than ours.

And when they face something after they leave that they weren't expecting or a

struggle that they didn't know was headed their way,

they will be able to rely on the one who is strong when they are weak

in my own home. As I close here,

I'd love for you to know how it is that we've chosen to practically

approach this. In the book of Nehemiah, there's a story,

I won't get into the whole thing, but the priest,

Ezra has gathered the whole group of people in front of him, the whole assembly,

and they're gathering together to celebrate a new beginning.

And they're celebrating all that it is that they've seen God do.

And as they gather around and he opens God's word taken to you.

I'm taking you to Nehemiah chapter eight. It says, as Ezra opened the book,

the people all stood up. Ezra praised the Lord the great God,

and all the people lifted their hands and responded, amen. Amen.

Then they bowed down and they worshiped the Lord with their faces to the ground

and they wept. And when we think about God's goodness,

when we look back over the, our life with our kids, truthfully,

I should be be so thankful that I can even feel sadness.

Because the reason why I am sad is because guys, my kid is amazing.

He is delightful to me.

And I will miss the time that I get to see him on a daily basis.

But I am so excited to see what it is that God can do in his life.

And truthfully together we've seen some things,

feared some things, and I have some fears about his future. That's natural.

It's okay to be sad. We've been in some pastures together.

We've been besides some quiet waters together.

But my good shepherd says that I don't have to want and neither does he.

Nehemiah jumps up as these people are weeping and he says,

this day is sacred to the Lord your God. Do not mourn or weep.

Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks because in this sacred day,

you should not grieve for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

And that's what I wanna leave you with.

As you look back over your life and you reflect on that psalm and you look at

all the things that are hard about your kids or any place in your life right now

that you're grieving,

I want you to focus on the places where you knew confidently that you were being

led by a good shepherd who laid down his life for you.

That's what God wants for you. And that's what he wants for your kids,

is to see his goodness. And mama,

the joy of the Lord is your strength. We're gonna be okay.

Thank you.

Note to self never Father Heather,

Heather Sullivan and a speaking engagement. Hey listen,

men in the room. Um, being a man is not easy. Uh, and I,

I wanna let that sit in 'cause I mean that uh, the world that,

that we're a part of it often expects us to provide,

to protect many times to lead. But then we also have to do so with compassion,

with gentleness, with love. And then by the way, don't make any mistakes.

And whatever you do, don't take an opportunity to let your feelings come out.

And then here's a new one that we're hearing. Listen to this,

masculinity is toxic.

And and I don't wanna trigger anything by that 'cause I know like I'm not for

like alpha males dominating anything,

but we're told it's possible and quite likely that our natural intuitions and

tendencies actually need to be suppressed.

And then we wonder why it feels like families are lacking.

And I would argue that at best there's confusion around and at worse

there's an all out assault on biblical manhood.

And as a result I think we've lost our way as to what's most important for us

as men. You know, the Bible specifically the New Testament,

like there's a few sections that for hundreds of years were referred to as the

household texts and it clearly teaches how we should operate within the

household of God. And so in the few short minutes that I have with you,

what I wanna do is I wanna lift up as high as I can,

kind of this twofold job description,

like the two most important aspects of what it means to be a man inside

the family of God.

And so the text I wanna look at is Ephesians chapter five and six.

And so if you wanna go there, you can,

I'd encourage you go home and read it later. Don't go home now, go home,

read it later. Uh, we only have time to highlight a couple verses,

but if I had to sum up the entire passage for us as men,

it would be this. Here's our twofold job description. Love your wife

and train up your children in the ways of Jesus.

That's what it means to be a man of God. Ephesians 5 25,

it says,

husbands love your wives as Christ love the church and gave himself up for her.

Uh, if you don't know how Jesus loved the church, it is a joy uh,

for me to tell you that the Bible says when we were at our worst,

Christ gave up his life for us. In fact, it says that left to ourselves, uh,

our sin as a result of that we were deserving hell and separation

from God's love. That was the price. But Jesus in love, the Bible says,

while we were still sinners,

he died for us so that we could have new life and a restored relationship with

God. Paul is saying our priority here is men is in the same way to

sacrificially love the woman in our lives that we are married to. Period.

That's number one. Yes we provide, yes we protect.

But see those kinda get worked through the act of loving.

And and here's what I mean.

If you show me a man with a big bank account who's never at home,

or if you show me a man that's built like a castle,

a fortress for the safety of his family,

but he constantly shuts down his wife's dreams, I will show you a broken family.

God's plan is for our wives to experience the gospel

in a bit of the tangible love and grace of God through us as their husband.

Now I know this can be hard.

And so for the love of God, don't say this out loud, okay?

Especially on Mother's Day weekend. But you might be thinking, but Jason,

sometimes my wife is hard to love. Listen to me.

That's the point. Okay? So are you and so am I.

The Bible says in our worst moment,

Christ died for us and we're called to love in the same way.

So we have a unique call as the husband to model that love for our family and to

show that love to our wives. That's the foundation of how families thrive.

Men, we gotta love our wives. What else does Paul say?

Ephesians six verse four. It says, fathers,

do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the

discipline and in the instruction of the Lord.

What does it mean to provoke to anger? Uh, here's what I know.

Uh, as a dad, it is easy to be overly critical,

critical just by a show of hands,

how many of us like it when people are overly critical with us? Okay,

small crowd. So I don't think this is on purpose. Now,

some of us were raised this way and we get it and they get stuck in this.

I don't think this is on purpose, but as men,

we get busy and in the midst of our busyness, we feel this pressure, right?

To see our kids succeed in school and sports and whatever it is. But,

but what happens often is our expectations create this tension

that our busyness will not allow us to resolve. See,

like we have this tension of what we want to see our kids do,

but we're not investing. And so we get frustrated and if we're honest,

we spend more time saying do this, don't do that, don't do this.

I can't believe I'm having to tell you again to do the same thing.

And the reality is our children,

like they have this prefrontal cortex that's not connected yet.

And so if no one's told you this,

you're going to have to tell your children a lot of things, a lot of times.

And this,

what this is saying is you're gonna have to work against that leading you to a

place of being overly harsh. I mean this is essentially saying, Hey,

let's ensure that our interactions are as loving and as emotional,

as emotionally healthy with our children as they can possibly be.

Sometimes the best thing to do as a parent is to stop and

take a deep breath and be firm

yet gentle.

What else Paul goes on to say,

but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Men.

Our responsibility as dads is not to make sure that our kids get straight A's.

It's not to make sure that they get a scholarship to college.

It's not even to make sure that they do good on the family name.

Our responsibility within the family of God is this.

It's to point our children towards the ways of Jesus.

That's our call like that is on our job description before God.

And I know for a lot of us that can be intimidating,

but I want you to hear me say the next to loving your wife.

It is the most important work that you'll ever do. Listen,

none of us would show up as men at our jobs and say, Hey boss, listen,

I really appreciate the paycheck,

but this new assignment that you've given to me, it's a little bit intimidating.

And so if it's okay, I'm just gonna hang.

I'm just gonna hang back and I'm gonna hope that somebody else picks up the

slack for me. Like we're not gonna do that.

But for some reason as it relates to this topic, like we,

we kind of sit back and we think maybe someone else will do it. Listen to me.

No one else can do it.

Like we have a responsibility before God and our children look to us in a

certain way.

No one else can call them into the ways of Jesus the way that we can. And again,

I know it's intimidating,

but what this really means is ensuring that our children both know and see the

gospel lived out in in their families, in your family.

And what's the best way that they can see that? Going back to number one,

seeing you sacrificially love your wife the way that Jesus loved the church,

I wanna give you some practical things really quickly 'cause I know that this

can be like, okay, great, it's Father's Day.

I was going to church with my wife and I thought it would be an encouraging

thing and now you're challenging me.

That's because you guys won't come to church on Father's Day.

You golf and go fishing. And so we're gonna hit it on Mother's Day.

So three things we gotta do here. One we gotta read our Bibles is men.

I'm just telling you that we have no chance at loving our wives the way that

Christ loved the church or pointing our kids towards the ways of Jesus.

If we're not spending time getting to know the ways of Jesus and whether you

know it or not, the world is gonna throw stuff at us and it's gonna distract us.

And the Bible says that we need to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.

We've got to get into the word of God. So you might think, man, that's hard.

I've never done that before. You're a man.

We can do hard things and what's gonna happen is you're gonna get into the word

of God and it's gonna be,

it says it's gonna be like honey on our lips and we're wanting to go back to it

and go back to it. That's number one. We've gotta read our Bible. Secondly,

find a mentor.

Look around and find somebody who's been on this earth a little bit longer that

you have and whose marriage is still intact and seems to be thriving. And man,

as a bonus, have children that are following the Lord and say, Hey,

can you please help me? And if you are that person,

if you're on the other side,

if you've got a little bit of gray hair I do in my beard, uh,

and you and your marriage is still intact and by God's grace and mercy

you have children that are following the Lord,

look around and find another young whipper snapper and say, listen,

I know what you're about to go through.

I would love to help point you into the ways of Jesus and help you find someone.

I want you to know I'm trying to practice what I preach.

I'm starting a new small group,

a discipleship group for young dads ages 25 to 35. I've got five,

I'm looking for 12. And so if you fit that demographic newly married,

you've got kids on the way or young kids, I would love to talk with you.

See what God might be doing. My email address is Jason [email protected].

Drop me in line and we'll see what we can do. But man, find a mentor. Third,

this is like low hanging fruit for every one of us.

We created a resource here at Hope. It's an app, it's called Hope in Real Life,

right? And if you're thinking, man, I don't know how to read the Bible.

Inside of this app is a daily Bible reading plan. Uh,

there's a growth track for what it means to grow in your relationship with

Jesus. There's a masterclass for how to build a MAs that thrives.

There's a masterclass for how to parent God's way. Uh,

there's a link inside of it to our podcast that we do where you've got me ho

interviewing other guests who can help you find hope in the everyday areas

of your life. And so this, again, low hanging fruit wives,

if you're a mother Happy Mother's Day to you, hold them accountable.

Download this app, super simple,

text the word app to 7 2 9 8 9.

The link will be sent to your phone, a PP to seven two nine eight nine.

The link will be sent to your phone and you can jump in, follow along.

I'm telling you it will be bene beneficial for you. Listen again,

I know this can be intimidating. Um,

I do want to show you one other resource that might offer you some

encouragement. I stumbled across this book this week.

There are dads way worse than you. So for those of you that are listening,

there's a book I found and it has a picture of Darth Vader who cut off Luke

Skywalker's hand. He did that as a dad. Chances are you haven't done that.

Listen a moment of levity for us. I know this can be intimidating.

I know that a lot of you're thinking, man,

no one showed me how to do this God's way.

And you probably feel like you've blown it and you probably feel like, man,

there's no way that I can actually be this kind of parent.

And this is a time if you're a wife or maybe you reach over and grab your

husband's hand. But I want you to look at me for a minute.

That's a lie from the enemy because he doesn't want you to step into what it is

that God has for you.

I'm reminded of Paul's words in Second Corinthians chapter 12, nine,

2 Corinthians 12 · chapter mention

where he says, but he said to me, God said to Paul,

my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect and weakness.

So then Paul says,

therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's

power may rest on me. And you,

what you need to know is you are both stronger than you realize,

but also in desperate need more than you realize of the grace of Jesus.

And as men of God,

the place that we need to stand is both in the front of the cross of Christ and

beside an empty tomb. And know that we can go to Jesus and say, Lord,

I need to call on that resurrecting power to fill me in my life and to give me

the strength to live the life that you've called me to live. Men.

Could you imagine if this church was filled with men who loved our wives

as Christ loved the church and who trained up our children in the ways of Jesus?

Our families are desperate for it. Our community is desperate for it.

Our world is desperate for it men. Let's be that church.

If we can do anything to help you, please let us know. Love you guys again.

Happy Mother's Day.

Alright, before we get too far into this, uh, children in the room,

do me a favor. I need you to raise your hand for me. As a matter of fact,

I want you to stand up children in the room. Go ahead and stand up for me.

'cause I wanna tell you something, um, before we get too far into this thing,

uh, you are a valuable part of Hope Community Church

like you are, hope . Uh,

we don't think of you as anything less than,

we don't think of you as second rate.

You are a part of the church and I can't express to you how glad we are that

you're here. Now, what I wanna do for the next few minutes, and I'll be honest,

stay standing for just a second, is, uh, we don't do this very often.

This is actually something we could be better at.

But I don't wanna just talk about you for the next few minutes.

I want to talk to you, okay?

And not talking about you talking to you. I want to tell you,

raising and dealing with children is tough. Okay?

You can go ahead and grab a seat. ,

raising and dealing with children is tough. It's a lot of hard work.

And I know some of you guys already know this.

When I was working with middle schoolers over at the Apex campus,

like the nine 30 service,

some of our middle schoolers were going serving Kids City.

And then I would see them at 1115 and I'm like, dude, do you need a cigarette?

Like you're 12, what's wrong with you? And he's like,

I've been dealing with five year olds all day.

Even a 12-year-old knows that a 5-year-old,

a 6-year-old is a lot of tough work. And I want you to know,

I just want to invite you into the perspective of your parents for just a moment

to let you know that raising you is tough work.

And so here's what I want us to do, okay?

I want everybody to take part in this game.

Whether your kids are with you or not,

I want you to turn to the person that's sitting next with you.

If your kids are with you, have kind of a family moment here,

and I'm gonna give you 30 seconds and all I want you to talk about,

I actually want you to participate in this.

Take 30 seconds and talk about what do you do for

your children in a given week, okay?

Just list off as many things as you possibly can. Ready?

30 seconds on the clock go.

If you're sitting with your spouse, you and your spouse can talk about it.

If you're here by yourself, go ahead and just,

maybe you can turn to a neighbor sitting next to you and think through it.

Give you about 10 more seconds.

Okay? Listen, I I couldn't hear every conversation specifically,

but if I had to guess, uh, my guess would be to summarize all of it.

Uh, when you were a baby,

I cleaned up your poop and I haven't stopped ever since.

That's basically what it means to be a parent. Now, I don't know this firsthand.

I, I don't have kids. I am excited to announce my wife Morgan.

We're expecting our first in September of this year.

So really looking forward to that. Thank you.

But here's how I know it's tough raising children because I've been one

my entire life, .

And I could just see looking at the life of my single mother who raised me,

how tough it is. Now,

on top of all of those things that parents that you listed earlier, kids,

what I want you to understand is on top of that long laundry list of things,

your parent is still a person as well.

So on top of all of that stuff, uh, they still have emotions.

They still have a marriage to maintain.

They still have a walk with the Lord to keep up with. They still have, uh,

mental health issues that they're dealing with and annoying people at work with

problems that they feel like they need to solve for them. And on top of that,

they need to bring you to soccer practice four times a week.

Raising kids is tough work.

But as I read the Bible, I realize that as Christian parents,

there's an extra layer that comes to this.

And we learned that from the verse that Jason just read a few minutes ago.

Ephesians six, four, uh, we're not gonna read it,

but if we can throw it up on the screen so you can be reminded of it,

they're reminded that they're not supposed to provoke you to anger,

to discipline, or they are to, to, uh, discipline you and instruct you.

So when your parents are disciplining you and instructing you,

they're not trying to ruin your life.

They're doing what God has placed them in your life to do.

And I don't know if you've ever thought about it this way before,

but your parents are God's assigned

people given to you to help mold you into the image of Jesus.

That's actually who your parents are. Now,

they're not always gonna get it right because they're broken and fallen people.

And guess what? So are you. And so this verse Ephesians six,

four that Jason read for us, it talks about, yeah,

all the responsibilities on the fathers, you gotta do this, you gotta, yeah.

But right before that, in Ephesians six, one through three,

let's read what it says together. It says,

children obey your parents in the Lord. For this is right,

honor your father and mother.

This is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and

that you may live long in the land.

And then that's when we get to verse four where he talks about fathers,

don't provoke your kids to angry discipline. 'em instruct them. See,

the command is not just given to the parents,

it's actually given to you as well.

Because together a healthy family is when both the parents and the

kids cooperate with each other to live the type of lives that Jesus has

designed them to live. If I was Paul,

I would've paraphrase this a little bit differently. I would've said, yo,

cut your parents a break. Or if you wanna get a little more eloquent,

I would say, help your parents be better parents.

What can you do to help them parent you and lead you

better? Paul gives us two words. He says,

obey and honor. And I don't know if you've noticed this,

but I said I was talking to the kids in the room, but a lot of times I say we.

And the reason why is because I recognize in this room this weekend and,

and over all of our campuses watching online,

not everyone listening is or will ever be a mother.

Not everyone is or will ever be a father.

Every person who has ever lived will be a child with parents,

with a mom and with a dad.

And there's a way that God commands us to live in that relationship.

And that is to obey and to honor none of the obedience part.

This happens right out the womb, right? It feels like from day one,

your parents have been telling you, Hey, can you just listen ,

can you obey? But I want you to think about this through a different lens.

I want you to see being obedient to your parents is more than just doing what

they tell you to do. Instead look at it as, man,

I I actually get to honor God by the way I treat my mom and dad.

That's what obedience is. When you obey your parents,

it's not just behavior modification and saying, oh,

I'm gonna grit my teeth so that they don't yell at me. It's thing,

it's it's shifting your mind to realize, man,

I actually wanna live in a way that brings honor to God. And the number,

number one place where you can do that most often is at home.

'cause your parents are the ones you're gonna spend the most time with.

And then the second layer of this, I think Paul knows what he's doing,

he raises the stakes a little bit. He says, Hey, I actually,

I don't want you to just obey your parents, I want you to honor them.

And just really quick, man,

I feel like the obedience part is the thing that I really had to work hard at

when I was a kid. But now that I'm older,

but still a child now,

it's the honor part where it feels like, man, God is really working on my heart.

Where even despite the times when I agree or disagree with my parents,

I still have a responsibility to honor them. This word honor, uh,

to honor someone, it means to recognize or place value in them.

And I just wanna ask you kids, do you, kids of all ages,

do you view your parents with value?

Do you recognize that they're people trying their best to honor God and

they're not always gonna get it right?

We have a responsibility to honor them. I've,

I've actually had the experience this very recently in my own life.

I mentioned earlier that Morgan is pregnant and, uh, my, my father, um,

who I've never had a great relationship with, um,

him and my mom were never married, but, um,

he's kind of been around just kind of in the background from time to time.

He and I haven't talked in almost two years. And I just knew,

I'm like, man,

I don't want this guy to find out about his grandchild on social media.

And so as much as I didn't want to do it, I said, well,

the honorable thing that I have to do right now is I,

I have to give him that phone call and I have to tell him,

and lemme tell you the conversation. It was brief,

it ended with congratulations. And I love yous,

and I don't know the next time we're gonna talk again.

But I know that in that moment, that was the honorable thing to do.

Not because of the way he had previously treated me,

but because of how I knew God called me to place value in him as a human being.

My mom, I recently, like just as soon as this week, uh,

my mom and I got in one of the biggest arguments that we've ever been in and

in the problem solving in that, of saying, okay,

how do we move forward because I care deeply about you, man,

we've had to try a couple of different things. Like I texted her and I said,

Hey, listen, I can't call you because I know if I call you,

we're just gonna get into another shouting match.

But I want to text you so that I can voice my concerns and you can read them and

understand them.

And I want you to do the same thing so I can read you and understand you without

us shouting over each other. Listen, is that the ideal way to communicate? No.

But is it what I'm capable of right now in order to show honor to her? Yes. So

what does it look like in your context to honor your parents?

I wanna go ahead and invite Heather and Jason to come back out here because, uh,

I, I recognize that this is not an easy topic for everyone,

honoring parents who I, I don't know your situation.

Maybe they aren't even around. Maybe they skipped out on you.

Maybe they did something horrible to you. I don't know what it is,

but that is something that man, lemme tell you, honor,

like we can't conjure up honor.

This is something that Jesus has to cultivate in us.

And so I just wanted these two up here to be able to,

to look at you as a church family and say,

if you need people to walk with you through that process to say, Hey,

I've been walking with Jesus and now I wanna walk with you two.

And so you two can meet and they can show,

he can show you how to honor your parents. Well, as a church,

we want to be there for you.

You know, one of the most, uh,

clear narratives in scripture is that God's desire is for his people

to be a family of families.

And then that only happens when we actually get into God's word and we say,

okay, good. What is it that you has for us?

And so that's why this time is so important. Uh, many of you may not know this.

We, um, have elders here at hope and,

and regularly we get together and we actually just spend time in prayer for

the families of hope. And so I was thinking, man, this week, uh,

we're spending the whole weekend talking about families.

How appropriate it would,

would it be just to have a couple of the elders and their spouses come up and

actually pray for the families of our church? And so coming up here now,

we have, uh, Carl and Gail Wilkins and Jay and Debbie Jennings,

if you all wanna go ahead and come on out and, uh, don't be shy.

Listen, I want you to know these are, uh, they would never want me to say this,

but these are some of the most godly men and women that I've ever walked

alongside of in my life. And they care deeply about the things of God.

And they care deeply about this church experiencing what it is that God has for

them in our lives. It's a privilege to be able to serve alongside of you all.

Karl love. If you all would pray for us.

Heavenly Father, we know you are good.

And as part of creation, you created man in the family and you said it was good.

We believe that then. And we believe it now. Father,

we thank you that we put all the families at hope at the Raleigh campus,

garner Apex, Fuqua Verina, Northwest car,

and all the extended families who are listening today.

We put every family in your capable hands where they can be nurtured,

protected, where they can be led by you in your word.

We pray for every family that they would thrive and be a

light in this world.

We lift up parents who have a hard job to lead and to guide and nurture

their own children and their family.

We pray for children who are listening that they will be successful

in everything they do, and particularly for this time of year,

they have to finish strong academically or whatever endeavor they end.

We pray for their total success now. Father,

we thank you that this ministry is blessed to have a family ministry

and we pray for them as they equip and come alongside every

family. Every student that's listening,

we ask your blessings upon them.

We thank you that you would continue to have your hand on them,

And we thank you for that.

Heavenly Father,

we ask for your continued blessing on this family that we call Hope Community

Church as elders, you have, uh,

called us to love and to serve these people who these

fathers, these mothers, these sons, these daughters,

it's in a humble privilege.

We are honored as elders to pray the the blessing that uh,

you commanded Aaron to pray over your people.

May the Lord bless you and protect you.

May the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you.

May the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.

And all God's people said, amen.

I just wanna invite you all to stand and we're just gonna have a moment to

respond to worship together.

Church.

We just wanna sing this blessing over you and your family.

We just pray that you would receive it in the mighty name of Jesus today.

Come.

Let's this together. The Lord bless you.

Lord.

Bless you.

And.

Upon you and be gracious.

The.

Lord bless, Lord bless you.

And keep you.

Make upon you and be gracious.

Lord.

Come on. If you're comfortable,

would you just lift your hands towards the heavens as we sing this today?

Come on sing. Amen.

Their children.

Before you and behind you and beside you,

all around you and with you. He's with you.

He's you in the morning, in the, and you're

and you're going and you're weeping and rejoicing.

He's for you, he's for you, he's for you,

he's for you, he's for you, he's for you.

He's for you. He's for

favor. Be upon

generations and children

go before you, behind you,

beside you around you.

Sing that one more time.

Sing this out the Lord

and

make his faith upon and be gracious,

Lord.

Come on, let's give the Lord some praise.

When we get to a moment like this, uh, sometimes it's, uh,

easy for us to kind of just breeze over it, but I think

that the Lord has, um,

something that he's sharing with our church.

And so I just wanna take a minute for us to just pray.

And so if we could turn our posture and our this moment to just prayer,

let's take a moment. Father, we thank you.

We thank you for this time of worship today.

We thank you for, um,

the opportunity to just take a moment to focus on the family.

Father, we know that the, the home,

the family is a growth environment where people grow in their relationship with

Jesus and are launched out into the world to make a difference for you.

We know that in the family, uh,

everyone has the opportunity to be strengthened and encouraged and to grow.

And there is great hope that comes with what happens in the life of a family

and Father, we also know that because of that, the enemy tries to steal,

kill and destroy what you mean to be a great source of impact in the

world. And so Father, that song that we sung,

that blessing is a prayer that we pray over every family that is a

part of Hope Community Church,

or associated with Hope Community Church or comes into contact with Hope

Community Church.

We pray that the families will be a mighty force for the kingdom of God in and

around this triangle area and around the world.

We pray that you would be glorified through the families

that are represented here. And Father,

if we have any opportunity as a church to help,

to restore a family, to strengthen the family, to serve a family,

we pray that you would show us how we can best do that

and help us to be faithful to that work. Father,

we thank you for this opportunity to worship you

and we pray that lives would be changed

and that families would step into what you have for them. In Jesus name we pray.

Amen. Come on, let's give God some glory. One more time there.

Listen. Um,

I am so thankful for that time of worship that we had today and what we got to

experience. And I'm excited for what that means, uh,

for the families who will hear this message and be able to respond to it. Uh,

we are so thankful, uh, for our families here at Hope and we're thankful, uh,

knowing that it's Mother's Day, what that means, how families will, uh,

spend time together and we hope that you have been encouraged by all of this

today. You know, uh, even as I was listening earlier to the story, uh,

of a family who just decided to do something to serve other families,

I was very encouraged by that. And I believe that's a model for, uh,

many of the things that we have the opportunity to do here at Hope Community

Church.

They just saw a need and stepped in and provided a space to strengthen families

and to make an opportunity for families to thrive by inviting 'em to a farm.

You know, uh, at Hope Community Church from time to time, we share, uh,

what it means to be, uh, a giver at hope.

And I need you to know that things like that, moments like that,

the strengthening of families,

those are the things that your giving goes towards.

And so when you give to Hope Community Church, it goes to moments like that,

opportunities like that,

where we have an opportunity to share the love of Christ with all kinds of

people, which include our families. Now, if you're new to Hope,

you may not know this, but there's a couple ways that you can give. Uh,

you can go to get hope.net/give. You can go to Hope Community Church App. Uh,

you can give by simply texting the word Give to 7 2 9 8 9 or in and around our

campuses during the week and on the weekends,

there are offering boxes right outside our auditoriums.

Here's what we want you to know, that your giving does make a difference.

And so we appreciate you. We thank you.

We also wanna take one last opportunity to say thank you to all of our mothers

on Mother's Day, and that we hope to see you guys back here next week.

So God bless you. We love you. Happy Mother's Day. We'll see you soon.