The Battle Within | Duane Calvin

You know, I love, uh,

those impact stories 'cause every one of those stories is a story of how

people didn't realize that God wanted to do something through their lives.

And you watch him just kind of show up and it's a really special thing to see.

Uh, I mean, who knows what God wants to do through our lives? Well, uh, listen,

I'm Dwayne. I'm one of the pastors here at Hope.

It is great to be with you and I hope you are doing well. Uh,

and so I kind of want to jump into this thing. Uh,

I am so excited to be before you. Uh,

I have been out of the country for the past few weeks with my wife and it has

been a great experience, but I'm home. And so it's good to be home.

It's good to be back. Um,

let me just start tonight off by asking you a question. Uh,

today if you're watching at one of our physical campuses,

lemme start today off by asking you a question. And here's the question,

do you remember the last time that you realized that you

were the problem?

I'm just gonna let that settle for a second. Do you remember what it felt like?

And let, lemme give you a little context.

Maybe it was in the context of a relationship or maybe it was a problem that you

were trying to solve or maybe it was, uh,

something that you were trying to accomplish for God.

Or maybe it was something that was a really big deal in your life and you came

to the conclusion at some point during that time that you were

actually the problem. Let me give you an example of what I mean.

Like my wife and I, we've been married for 25 years and I told you earlier,

we love to travel together. We are empty nesters,

so we get to kind of just go and do things and it is a blast.

Don't believe the hype empty nest is really, really good.

And so we get to travel together.

But there are times where my wife wants to travel with somebody else.

She'll take one of our children or she'll go with one of her friends and she

leaves me home alone no longer than 72 hours.

The Bible is clear about man not needing to be alone because they know that we

will make a mess. And I,

I'm true to that reality because almost as soon as my wife exits the home,

I begin throwing my clothes everywhere. Uh,

I begin to cook and it's a really bad thing when I cook 'cause I just leave a

mess everywhere. Why? 'cause she ain't there and she can't stop me.

And I make a hot mess in the house. Now outside of the house,

everything is pristine and it looks amazing,

but inside the house there is a hot mess brewing and I make a mess for

almost all of the 72 hours. And I know I'm the only man who does that,

but I do it. And then there's something that happens.

There's this time where I know I need to pick her up from the airport. Uh,

maybe it's 7:00 PM and so at 6 45 I am washing the last

dishes and putting the last load of laundry in the washer because I know I gotta

go pick my wife up and I don't want her to come home to a mess.

But there's also this realization that comes to fruition where I realize

I I'm the problem.

I'm the messy one in the relationship. It's, it's me.

And there are times in my life where I have come to that reality that sometimes

it, it's just us. Like sometimes we are the problem,

especially when there's something big that we're trying to accomplish,

especially when we're trying to solve a problem.

Sometimes when we're trying to get something big accomplished or we're trying to

move something forward or we come to the realization that God wants us to do

something, that we are the ones who are standing in the way we are the problem.

Oftentimes it's not the external factors that stop us, it is us.

It's the internal factor our peoples that gets in the

way that begins to challenge the success of something great.

And when we're trying to accomplish something big for God is oftentimes us.

Let me say it this way,

I think that sometimes the greatest threat to slow down the movement of God,

the movement that God's people need to undertake,

sometimes the greatest threat that slows down the movement of God's people is

you guessed it, God's people. Sometimes it's us.

Sometimes we create internal strife that slows down future progress.

And as a result of our behavior or our conduct or let's call it what it often

really is, our sin, we make a mess of things

we get in the way. And I know that's hard to hear,

but I believe it's accurate. Like,

like you can look all throughout the Bible and see stories of the behavior of

God's people creating all kinds of challenges for other than you guessed it

for people, it's people causing problems for people.

And so what do you do when you are trying to get a fresh start?

When you're trying to build something or you're trying to grow something,

you're trying to do something for the kingdom and you find yourself hindered by

God's people, by us.

How do you move things back into the right direction?

How do you get back on course when you realize that the internal threat of

people is the thing that's causing the problem?

Well today through the lens of Nehemiah's life and his attempts to build the

wall, that's exactly what we are gonna look at. Now if you have your Bibles,

here's what I want you to do,

I want you to go ahead and open up to Nehemiah chapter five and we are gonna

start with verse one. And we're gonna read all the way through this chapter,

right Nehemiah chapter five, verse one. And while you're turning there,

what I wanna do is go ahead and set the stage for you just a little bit.

I'm not sure if you came in week one,

but Jason has been teaching through from week one all the way through.

And we are in chapter five today.

So lemme just give you a little bit of a catch up of where we are now.

Please know Nehemiah is a essential part of the Bible as every single

character is.

And Nehemiah has assembled this group of people to work on the rebuilding of the

wall of Jerusalem.

And you gotta understand that this is like not a small project.

This is a huge undertaking and many believe that it

can't be done. You see the wall is not just another project,

it's a physical symbol as walls always are of the rebuilding of a nation,

of the strengthening of a nation because walls tend to communicate a sense of

strength. And all of this has collapsed and crumbled.

But this is also not just a physical barrier,

this is a spiritual reminder of God's power and how God can use his people

to accomplish amazing things for his glory.

And Nehemiah is rallying these people together for God's glory.

And he knows that not only does his wall say that we're strong,

the wall also says that we're strong because God

is with us. And so collectively the people are working together,

they are building this big wall. And as Jason says last week,

they are beginning to face opposition And a lot of the opposition is not coming

from the inside, it's coming from the outside.

They got one hand on the sword and one hand on the word and they're trying to

walk out life like this as they build this wall.

There's all kind of external factors, there's naysayers,

there's all kind of things that are putting the project at risk,

but then they start to see a different concern emerge.

It's not the outside threat. They start to see the inside threat.

One that if they're not careful can all cause all kind of problems and

potentially destroy them from the inside out and the threat that they're

starting to see. You guessed it people

in chapter five, verse one, here's what it says. It says,

now there arose a great outcry of the people and of

their wives against their Jewish brothers. For there were those who said,

with our sons and our daughters, we are many.

So let us get grain that we might eat and we might

keep alive. There were also those who said we are mortgaging our fields,

our vineyards and our houses to get grain because of the famine.

And there were those who said,

we have borrowed money for the king's tax on our fields and on our vineyards.

And now our flesh is as the flesh of our brothers.

Our children are as their children.

Yet we are forcing our sons and our daughters to be slaves.

And some of our daughters have already been enslaved,

but it is not in our power to help

for other men have our fields and our vineyards.

Lemme just kind of give you an idea of what's happening here. Uh,

this is the poor beginning to cry out to Nehemiah. You.

You see this is a group of people who have been assembled under Nehemiah's

leadership and a significant amount of them would've been the poor and they

would've been gathered trying to do this big thing with their lives.

And many of them have escaped Babylonian captivity.

And now they have come to this city and the city is in rubble and they're trying

to do this big thing with their lives. And no doubt they're probably tired,

they're probably frustrated,

they've probably been through some very real challenges in their lives.

And now they started to face this opposition.

And the opposition is kind of praying on them.

They've rallied themselves under Nehemiah's leadership and as they've done all

this, they started to see problems arise but they're still trusting in God and

believing that they can accomplish this thing and they're the poor.

And so one of the biggest problems they face is the problem that everybody

faces. They just need to eat and feed their families

and they're hurting. They need food.

And while people are helping them, what they're really doing,

the people who are helping them are helping themselves.

They are charging crazy amounts of interest.

Some believe as high as 18% so that these folks can feed their family.

I know nobody would ever charge 18%.

I mean it's crazy and so much so that it's causing them to sell their own

children into slavery.

So they've come from and now they're putting their children back in.

And in verse five it says that it is not of our power to even

help translation. They feel powerless.

They feel like they've gone from one situation where they've been exploited into

another situation where they've been exploited. Not a person,

uh, that they know or by a person that they don't know, I'm sorry,

but by a person that they know. These are people who live with them,

who do life with them. And these people are now taking advantage of them.

You see the problem's not coming from an attacking army but from internal greed.

It's not coming from an external threat but from an internal force.

The problem is now motivated by something outside,

it's motivated by something inside.

And it's the same thing that typically causes trouble for all of us.

It's a sinful heart.

They are the poor and some of the most vulnerable in the community and they are

being driven to the brink while they are trying to follow Nehemiah in rebuilding

this wall. And when we get to chapter five,

Nehemiah is forced to wrestle with some very real questions.

You see this wall is supposed to be a symbol for God's people.

It's supposed to be this great work that screams out that God is with us.

But what good is it to have this big old wall and on

the inside everything is a hot mess.

What good is it to fight the external enemy and let the internal one rage and

rampage everyone and everything?

What good is it to build a wall that distinguishes us spiritually?

If inside the wall we act and behave like everybody else?

Here's one more.

What good is it to address the external image and not actually

deal with the internal sin condition of the people?

There's this threat that begins to emerge and you guessed it.

The thread is people and it's people from inside the wall, not outside the wall.

And you better believe that it's creating conflict.

Like this is one of the only chapters where you don't see a whole lot of

progress being done on the wall. Why?

Because this is starting to slow things down.

As people are having this disagreement,

most commentators believe that it is slowing the progress of the wall.

There's only a very small section in this chapter that talks about Nehemiah

trying to continue the work you see it's causing internal strife.

And when you look at this and you see the poor being exploited,

what we often think is, here we go again. Right? Uh,

another situation where the rich get richer and the poor don't get anything,

we think, man, this is another issue of the rich taking advantage of the poor.

Can I get you to challenge you just a little bit in your thinking when I say

that? Because I don't believe that this is an issue between rich and poor.

I think this is an issue between right and wrong.

You see the righteousness of this situation when equate to a person

being a a giver

and the wrongness in all of this would equate to a person being a taker.

I mean man, what a question that we can ask ourselves.

Are we a giver or are we a taker? And these folks,

they are being takers and their sin condition is hard at work.

You know,

only the symbol condition of a person's heart would seek to exploit the poor

because nested in this behavior are the sins like greed and pride and certainly

a lack of compassion that if you were following God these would be big red

flags. And they're not red flags.

The folks aren't even convicted by what they're doing and so they just keep

doing it and the poor are crying out.

And Nehemiah knows that if, if people continue to do this,

that it challenges the work that they're doing on the wall.

So when we get to verse six, Nehemiah begins to say something and verse 60,

Miah says, I was very angry when I heard their outcry.

And when I heard these words I took counsel with myself and I brought charges

against the nobles and all the officials. And I said to them,

you are exacting interest each from his brother.

And I held a great assembly against them and said to them,

we as far as we are able have brought back our Jewish brothers who have been

sold to other nations,

but you even now sell your brothers that they might be sold to us.

And they were silent and they couldn't find a word to say.

So I said,

the thing that you are doing is not good.

You know, some translations say it this way,

the thing that you're doing is not right.

Can we just zone in on that right there?

The thing that you're doing is not good.

The thing that you're doing is not right. You see,

because what Nehemiah sees here is that the thing that they're doing is wrong.

And so rather than just continue and breeze right over it,

he calls it out for what it is. He says, this is not right.

And I think this is the first nugget of truth that we can extract from this.

Today. We have to be the kind of people that when we see something is wrong,

we say that it is wrong. If we are trying to have a fresh start,

no matter what it is,

we have to be the kind of people who call out the wrong things that we see.

You see, when we see something,

we should be the people who say something.

And certainly we need to do it in a biblical way like Matthew 18 gives us great

guidance on how to do that.

We approach the person who has caused the problem because they're probably the

person who can fix it.

And we root everything that we believe is righteous to share in the words of

scripture because we can't make up our own measurement on what's right and

what's wrong. But when we see something that's wrong,

we ought to be the kind of people who say something, can I get an amen?

We don't say it through Twitter reviews or through Instagram

posts. We don't film a video about the problem.

We just go to the person the way Matthew 18 tells us to do.

And we fix the situation and we hope that the person will change it.

And for a fresh start to last,

we need to be the kind of people who wanna say something.

When we see something we don't sta nightly by when something is happening that's

wrong, we say something, we bring it up.

And what Nehemiah sees here is RONG. Wrong.

It's just wrong. And so he speaks up, he says, this is not right.

And in verse nine, he continues on, he says, I said,

the thing that you are doing is not good. Again,

some translations say it's not right all you not to walk in the fear

of our God to prevent the talks of the nations or the enemies. Moreover,

I and my brothers and my servants are lending them money and

grain. So let us abandon this exacting of interest

return to them this very day, their fields, their vineyards,

their olive orchards and their houses and the percentage of money, grain,

wine and oil that you have been exacting from them. And then they said,

we will restore these and require nothing from them.

We will do as you say.

And I called the priest and I made them swear to do as they had promised,

I also shook out the fold of my garment. And I said,

so may God shake out every man of his house and from his labor who does not

keep this promise. So may he be shaken out and emptied.

And all the assemblies said, man,

and they praise the Lord and the people did as they had promised.

Now what Nehemiah does here is really important.

And if you don't look closely,

you can almost miss it because everybody's so excited about what they did.

But a lot of it is because Nehemiah led in the right direction.

He does these a couple of things in a row that that man,

they make all the difference.

The first thing he does is he goes first in setting up an active generosity.

He says, you know what? I'm gonna start first.

I'm gonna go out and do this first. And then he does this second thing,

he creates a way for them to be accountable.

So he goes first and then he creates accountability and he does it all. Why?

Because he is operating as he says,

under the fear of the Lord.

He's working under the fear of the Lord. You know,

the fear of the Lord is a really interesting thing to me.

When I was young in my faith, I, I would hear those words, the fear of the Lord.

And the truth is,

is that I just thought it meant that God was mad at me because I hadn't read

enough Bible, I hadn't lived enough life.

And so I kind walked around in a little bit of a daze just thinking like God's

just mad at me all the time.

He's just this angry God who's always mad because I don't do the right thing.

Can I just share something with someone who might need a little bit of hope

today? God is not mad at you.

He is certainly not happy about our sin

and he's angry about that. But he loves you.

And you need to know that, you know,

the fear of the Lord had this picture of a God who just made me

fearful because he was angry. And the more I studied the Bible,

the more I shaped this deeper image of God and it's much

more than a God who's just mad at me. You see,

what is scripture shaped in scripture is a picture of a God who deserves our

reverence and our adoration and our obedience.

It's a God who is awesome in all ways and in all things.

And so when we give him that kind of reverence,

it demonstrates a healthy fear for him. Now, certainly he could crush us,

but I think the thing that makes him so awesome is that he chooses not to.

And it creates this healthy fear,

this trembling trust

and who he is and all that he has done.

And Nehemiah is operating under this kind of fear,

an adoration for God, a deep trust in him.

And he's clearly upset. I mean, he shakes out his garment that that was a,

a universal sign of being angry and almost wishing a little bit of a curse that

something would happen to the people who wouldn't listen.

And so he shakes out his garment, but instead of harping on the problem,

he just trusts God. And he does something that all great leaders do.

He sets the example, he lends grain,

he sets the tone. He it is men.

He does what is necessary and what needs to be done.

And he also brings in the priest to have the priest follow up and he begins to

establish a sense of accountability. You know, this whole series,

we have been talking about a fresh start.

And I believe that this is where most of us get stuck when we want to take a

fresh start. We don't necessarily take action

and we don't create accountability. Well, maybe it's just me.

You know, if I've watched people live life out,

I've seen them want to take major change steps in their lives.

And when these two things aren't in place,

I watched us fumble and fall over and over and over again.

You know, it's great to wanna read scripture.

And every year I see folks who say, I really want to read the Bible.

And that is a noble aspiration.

But if we don't create time in our calendars to actually read the Bible,

the likelihood of us accomplishing that, if we don't take steps forward in that,

the likelihood of us actually accomplishing that work is gonna be slim to none.

And speaking of slim, one of the biggest things we say every year is,

I wanna lose weight. But if we never step foot and a gym,

it's gonna be rough in these streets to lose weight.

I see us say things like, I want to create accountability.

Can I just say that accountability will never work if when we say we want to

create accountability,

we invite somebody to hold us accountable and in every time they do,

we get angry at them.

Accountability requires us to be accountable. You know,

accountability is one of the greatest things I see in leaders.

And can I just say like,

if you are a leader and you are not willing to be held accountable,

you should probably stop leading.

And if you have a leader who doesn't want to be accountable,

help them to be accountable because it's such a big deal.

And Nehemiah helps these leaders pursue accountability.

He isn't afraid to confront the people,

but he also knows that they need to be accountable.

And so he does something to prevent that from happening again.

He brings in the priests and these guys want no part of this man.

They want no part of this. And so they agree to do as Nehemiah says,

they see the area of their ways and it says that the assembly says amen and

praise the Lord and they begin to change course. I mean,

one guy sees something,

says something does something, and everything changes.

And in verse 14,

Nehemiah shares with us just a little bit more. He says, moreover,

from the time that I was appointed to be their governor in the land of Judah,

it's a really important note.

He is the governor from the 20th year to the 32nd year of our

taxis the king, 12 years.

Neither I nor my brothers ate the food that was allowed to the

governor. You see, he gets a salary, he gets food,

he gets a whole bunch of privileges. But he pushes in aside,

he says in verse 15,

the former governors who were before me laid heavy burdens on the people

and took from them their daily rations. 40 shekels of silver,

even their servants lorded it over the people, but I do not do.

So why? Because of the fear of God.

He says, I also preserved, uh, in the work, or excuse me,

persevered in the work on the wall.

And we acquired no land and all of my servants were gathered there for the work.

Moreover, there were at my table, 150 men.

So not only does he push aside privilege,

he invites 150 people to eat at his table.

Jews and officials besides those who came to us from the nations that were

around us. Now,

what was prepared at my expense for each day was one

ox, six choice sheep and birds got to have them birds,

Chick-fil-A.

.

And every 10 days all kinds of wine in abundance. Nehemiah was a wino.

Yeah, for all of this,

I did not demand the food allowance of the governor because the service was too

heavy on the people. And then he says this, remember for my good,

oh my God, all that I have done for this people,

you know, when I read this, I thought to myself like,

I wish I could just be half the leader that Nehemiah is.

Here's a guy who just pushes away privilege

and he pushes it to the side and he helps the people move from where they are

to where they need to be. I mean,

this is the work that all good leaders do.

And I thought to myself like, man, what?

What is it that makes this guy have this kind of conviction and this

kind of courage in a moment where he's facing a lot of opposition?

Like what is it that motivates this guy to be who he is and to do what he do?

'cause if I could just have some of that man,

I think I would be a really strong leader.

And so I just got reading the text over and over and over again,

and then something just jumped out at me. You see,

when you get to that last verse,

He says, remember for my good,

oh my God, that I have done

for this people. And it dawned on me,

Nehemiah

is living and leading for an audience of one.

He is living to serve the Lord. You see,

he's not motivated solely by the people. He,

he's not motivated solely by the project He, he's motivated by the Lord,

he knows and he has discerned God's plan and he's executing on God's plan and

he's gonna do everything in his power to see God's plan enacted.

And his only request, his only thing that he's asking for is not privilege,

it's not title, it's not to be ascended to a high place.

The only thing he's asking is that God will remember him for the good work that

he is trying to do.

And that's because his heart

is focused and fixed on God.

Lemme just share one last essential truth.

I think if we are gonna maintain a fresh start,

then we must have our hearts and our eyes fixed on

God. You see, the folks that Nehemiah was dealing with,

these folks that that enacted all this interest,

these folks were fixed on themselves and Nehemiah comes along and he

has been fixed on God the whole time. You know,

a heart that has been set on God is a very powerful thing.

It's like this catalyst that can do all kind of good work in the world.

That's the video we saw earlier. It's a heart that has been fixed on God.

And because it's fixed on God,

it can accomplish powerful things for the kingdom.

Can I just ask, what's your heart fixed on?

What are your eyes fixed on?

You know, sometimes our hearts are fixed on our own success.

And so we try to paint this picture like we can do it all alone.

And if your heart's fixed on that, can I just tell you that's a dead end street?

You know,

sometimes our hearts are fixed on some problem that we think has to

be solved in order us to to be successful.

And so we focus all of our energy and attention on this one problem.

And meanwhile, God is in the background going, I'm here. I'm right here.

Come to me all who are heavy late and I'll give you rest.

This problem's not gonna save you,

but I can. You know, as I watch our world right now,

I think many of us, if we're honest,

our eyes and our hearts are focused on the political cycle cycle.

And so we got a 24 hour news reel going in our head and our hearts.

And God is trying to get our attention and he's saying,

get your eyes and your heart on me and let me work in you and through you.

And if you really want to change this world,

You're gonna have to come through me.

What's your heart focused on?

What are your eyes fixed on?

Because if it's not a healthy helping of Jesus

and something is wrong,

it's okay that something is wrong, but it don't have to stay wrong

because the God of the universe can fix the broken

and sinful.

Heart.

Nehemiah is giving all glory to God with how he lives.

And when our heart is set on God in this way,

our vision shifts well what seemed impossible,

whether it's rebuilding the wall or rebuilding our life quickly becomes possible

and things go from impossible to difficult to done under God's power.

Nehemiah knows that the completion of the wall wasn't just something that needs

to happen under his strength,

but he knew by God's power that every brick that was placed,

every descendant that was made was a testament to God's faithfulness.

You see, he's not just trying to resurrect a wall,

he's trying to resurrect.

Hearts.

And he is trying to turn broken hearts

towards the creator.

Maybe you're here today and you are on your own resurrection journey.

You're on your own rebuilding of a wall and you've

experienced external conflict, people telling you it's never gonna get better.

Or you've experienced internal conflict where you come to the realization that

maybe you are a big part of the problem,

things have gotten messy and you feel weak.

Can I just share with you that like his power is made perfect

in our weakness

and in the end he has the power to restore broken lives.

And if you're in your own rebuilding project,

whether it's your marriage or your career or your health or your walk with

God, can I just share with you that,

that sometimes while the greatest threat to our fresh start can be us,

the greatest answer to our troubles is Jesus.

And as we close today, I want you to remember

that if your eyes are not fixed and focused on

the same God

that changed and rebuilt that wall,

and you can refocus them today,

or maybe for the first time

you can choose to trust in the God that Nehemiah did

And follow his example right on down the road to glory,

lemme leave you with a prayer. God, would you help us

to keep our hearts set on you?

Would you help us to be the kind of people who say this is not right,

especially when sin threatens to divide us, when our people,

this gets in the way. Would you help us with that Father God?

Would you help us to take action? Would you help us to walk in accountability?

Would you help us to live lives that bring honor and glory to you?

Because we know that in you,

our fresh start is possible,

help us to trust that you'll carry us through to completion.

In Jesus name, amen.

Amen.