Tighten the Knot | Pastor Sean King | Venture Church

Hi, and welcome to Venture Church Online. My name is

Kelsey and I'm our online campus pastor. We're so glad

that you're joining us. Drop a comment below of where

you're streaming from. We would love to interact with you.

We hope that you enjoy today's service.

I didn't even want to walk up here. I just

want to sit and listen to that. I'm pretty pretty

chill right now.

You're feeling good today?

Yeah, I know, I agree.

I do.

Look I look taller on TV. It's true. If I

can't change it. Well, I'm Sean. I'm one of the

pastors here on staff. You may know me better from

my wife, Rebecca King. Yeah, I know, I know. Say

maybe my better two thirds? Would you say than?

Yeah? You know we've been married thirty one years.

I know, I know, twenty nine happy years. Yeah, it's true.

Take us at dinner. We'll tell you all about it. Yeah.

Relationships are hard, right, Yeah, relationships are hard. My wife

is actually in a wheelchair right now, Brudal. I know,

she has surgery on her left foot and then she

had a little mishap and uh really hurt the other one.

So she's, you know, rolling around in a wheelchair. Uh

you know they say for better or for worse, right,

I think this is for better because she can't get anywhere,

Like she's not running from me. I mean, like her

her wheelchair doesn't even have the wheels. She can push herself.

It's just those four where I got to push her.

So she's slow. Folks like I'm slow, but she's slower. So,

you know, small blessings, small blessings. When you think about

relationship goals, do you have someone in mind, like it's

just a mental picture like goals.

Yeah, uh yeah.

I think if you looked at any marriage, you know,

like ours that's been thirty one years, if you look

under the trump, under the hood, you'd probably see that

it hasn't always been you know, sunflowers and gummy bearers.

You're like, there's probably a better thing to say there,

But that's what I came up with. Sometimes in marriage,

in relationships, we have to walk through the mud, right,

And there's probably a stronger word that I could use there,

But this is church.

Like marriage.

Just we walked through the mud sometimes and it's hard

for those of you who are married. We want to

resource you and help you. For those of you who

are not married this week and next week, we want

to help you as well. So as we talk about

tightening the not that's the name of this sermon series.

I don't want singles to just check out. I want

you to know that, you know, maybe someday you might

be married, or maybe you'll be happily single for the

rest of your life, but we all have relationships. Is

there anybody married in the house today?

Yeah? Good? How about the singles? Come on? How about

anybody at all that has human interaction whatsoever? All right? Good?

Something for you today will be valuable. If not, I

have failed completely in my mission. Before I go too far,

I'm preaching this week. Pastor Die is going to bring

it home next week, and then February thirteen and fourteen

is our annual marriage conference and it is one that

you're not gonna want to miss. And I'm inviting all

of you singles as well, because we're focusing on relationships.

And today I'm only going to preach for twenty minutes.

Can I hear it? Amen? Yeah? You shouldn't say that.

That's just that's not nice, real true, but not nice.

At the end the last ten minutes, we're gonna do

something really fun together and at the marriage conference is

going to be kind of the culmination of the results

of a survey that we're gonna take this morning, and

so for singles for me married people, we want to

make sure that we're bringing value to you as a

part of our church. Your relationships matter to us. So

on the coming events or something like that. On the app,

you can sign up for the marriage conference. I encourage

you to do that. Friday night, we're bringing an improv

group in and food truck, so it's gonna be just

a party.

We're gonna have a good time. And it's Saturday.

We're getting into the nitty greedy when it comes to relationships. Anyanacho,

Lee Bay fans, that's nedy greedy.

Thank you.

I knew Morgan at least would be with me on

that one. How many of you have read the first

two pages of the Bible, even the worst of you,

like even the worst of you when we set up

to read them. I'm gonna read the Bible this year,

like you at least got through one and two right,

And that's the creation story. You know, God is up

there and he's where that is up there, and he's

creating the heavens and the earth and land and fish

and steak and chicken like he's reating at all. And

Genesis one it says this, let there be light, and

there was light, and God saw that the light was

what it was good?

Right, And then on.

The sixth day it talks about God creating humanity and

what does he say here?

It's different.

It says on the sixth day he said he saw

what he had made and it was what very good?

Did you know that you are very good? If nothing

else leave today going, I am very good. I was

created in the image of God. In the beginning, God

created this utopia. You know what that word means. That's

not zutopia, utopia and it's just like a perfect place.

Relationship with God was easy. He was like there, they

were talking with him. He was in their presence, and

relationship with each other was super easy. Even in the

relationship with the land was easy. Like if you read

a little bit later on, it says that after the fall,

work became work, like the earth wasn't just like giving

food and plants and vegetation. Relationship with the earth was

even easy. But then we all know what happens.

Wah wah.

This sneaky serpent shows up and what does he do?

He lies, and he deceives. And Adam and Eve have

a choice to make and they don't make the right one.

Utopia was destroyed.

As a result, relationship with God was damaged, relationship with

others was damaged. Now we got to work to get

a paycheck that was damaged. We know that relationships can

be complicated. Expected like more from you from that? Like amen, Yeah, Hey,

relationships gonna be complicated. It's okay to say that, Like really,

after thirty one years of marriage. I will tell you

from the good and the bad in our relationship that

your choices dictate outcomes. Your choices dictate outcomes. Adam and

Eve they were given a choice, they made the wrong one,

and as a result, we all pay.

Life is painful.

We all know that in life we're gonna make mistakes

and relationships we're gonna make mistakes all over the place.

But there is a process.

In which we can work back towards utopia. Of course,

we will never reach that if you're like me, we

just make mistakes. So but there is a way that

we work back towards that perfect ideal that God had

in the beginning, and it's called the process of sanctify.

Say that word sanctification. What does sanctification means? It means

literally the process of becoming holy, making something pure or perfect.

Did you know that your relationships, that your marriage can

be sanctified?

That's awesome. We don't always make right choices.

But with God's help we can work back towards God's design.

So what's the problem. Why are relationships so hard? Why

is marriage not utopia? Reality is is that in marriage,

in relationships, there are those who win, there are those

who struggle, and far too often there are those who lose.

Has anybody ever seen the loss of relationship or suffered

the consequences of that, maybe your marriage, maybe your parents marriage.

There are far too often those who lose. But I

would suggest this morning that a Christ centered relationship and

a Christ centered marriage should be a no lose proposition.

It should be.

But like many areas of our lives, what we know

to be good we often ignore, and what we know

to be harmful we often permit that deserves a really

bigger response than that.

People.

Yeah, It's true, like anything, when we follow that pattern,

we're going to struggle, We're going to face challenges. That's

why these messages this week and next week are so important.

We want to remind you that there's a biblical pattern

that you can follow that is meant for your ideal.

It's meant for your good and we want all of

our relationships and our lives to be in the process

of sanctification.

Aren't you thankful that God.

Just doesn't say, oh, you made a mistake, you're out

Like he is long suffering, he is patient with us.

I'll just remind you this morning that that serpent that

was in the garden is still alive and active in

our world today. He is still deceiving, he is still

setting a culture that is constantly working against God's divine ideal.

His tactics are the same. He has not changed.

He tempts, he deceives, and then our choices dictate the

outcomes in our life.

Are you with me? This is good.

He wants to destroy anything that God has established, including

the beauty of your relationships and your marriage. God wants

you to be sanctified. He wants your relationships and your

marriage to be sanctified. God's design is not something that

culture has anything. It has no place to debate God's design,

yet it does over and over. Culture is always pushing

back on God's design.

Listen to this.

Many struggle in relationships not because the Bible is unclear,

but because it goes against what culture says.

Let me hear say that again.

Many struggle in relationships not because the Bible is unclear,

but because it goes against what culture says.

And if you value.

Conforming to culture more than patterning your life, your relationships,

and your marriage around honoring God, you are going to

struggle in relationships. Romans twelve two says, do not conform

to the pattern of the world, but be transformed by

the renewing of your mind. Proverbs fourteen twelve says, there's

a way that appears to be right. Culture says it's right,

it feels good, it must be right. But in the end,

that kind of living leads to what leads to death.

Maybe not physical death, but absolutely death in your relationship,

death in your heart. You follow the pattern of the world,

it is going to lead to death. That is Satan's design.

He wants to separate you from God. So today we're

gonna look at two patterns of the world and how

they differ from the biblical pattern of Christ centered relationships

and marriage.

How does that sound good? Sounds good? All right? Are

you ready? Here we go? How does the pattern.

Of the world differ from the biblical pattern regarding sexuality?

Somebody say sexuality? You said that in church?

What does culture say about hooking up, about homosexuality, about pornography, dishonesty,

little white lies? What does culture say? The answer is

pretty much, anything goes. If it feels good, it's good.

If it's not causing non harm, it's gotta be okay.

There is no moral compass in culture. Am I wrong?

The level of sexual depravity, dishonesty, secret addiction.

In our world is staggering.

You can't go anywhere without being without seeing culture at work.

Any idea of saving sex for marriage is like a

foreign language to culture. But what does the Bible say

about sexuality? You ready for this? This is God, not Sean.

I'm just the messenger.

You okay? All right? Here we go one Corinthians six eighteen.

Turn there. This is point number one.

Sexual sin is intended to separate you from God and

to destroy your identity in him. Youch sexual sin is

intended to separate you from God and destroy your identity

in him. One Corinthians six point eighteen says, flee from

sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside

his body, But he who sins sexually sins against his

own body. Do you not know that your body is

a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you,

who if you have received from God, you are not

your own. You were bought at a price. Therefore, honor

God with your body. You were created in the image

of God. Remember what he said about you, you are

very good. When you live outside this biblical pattern of sexuality,

you're giving the enemy permission to condemn you and to

remove your identity as an image bearer of God. Anybody

who has struggled with sexual sin knows the shame that

you live under. But you do not belong to the devil.

You are boded to price. This just tells us that

you are bottled a price. You are a child and

a daughter of God. So honor God with your body.

Work towards holiness through sanctification. We're all tempted by the

same things, but we can work towards holiness through sanctification.

By the power of the Holy Spirit.

First Thessalonians four three and four says this, it is

God's will that you should be sanctified, that you should

avoid sexual imorality, that each of you should learn to

control his own body in a way that is holy

and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen who

do not know God. Sin is intended to separate you

from God and to destroy your identity in him. Secondly,

what does the Bible say about sexuality? It says that

God's design for sex is that you are to be

united with one person.

Of the opposite sex.

Genesis one twenty seven says, so God created mankind in

his own image, in the image of God. He created

them male and female. He created them. Genesis two twenty

four says, this is why a man leaves his father

and mother and is united to his wife, and they

become one flesh. Y'all know what united means in the Bible, right,

y'all know what one flesh means. Genesis two twenty five

says that Adam and Eve were naked and they felt

no shame. Now, I'm not condoning, like going to some

beach somewhere.

Right, I feel no shame. It's biblical. That's not what

I'm saying.

God's design of marriage between a man and a woman

is not the because he's homophobic. God's design that you don't

look at porn and have fantasy fantasy sex with different

people over and over and over again, because he wants

to ruin sex for you. Our bodies were created, physically,

created for a unity, a man with a woman of

the opposite of the opposite sex. That is, the opposite sex,

a man and a woman. It's designed that way for

sexual fulfillment.

Can I get an amen?

It's created for that. God wants you to experience pleasure.

But it's also God's design because he wants to pro create.

Remember what God says about you. He says you are

very good. He wants a whole bunch of very goods

running around. He loves very goods. God's design was with

you in mind. He wants you to enjoy intimacy and

to recreate what he calls very good. The pattern of

the world leads to destruction and shame and separation from God.

Anybody who has struggled in this area knows the walls

that we put up when we struggle in this area,

the walls we put between between you and God. He

doesn't put them there, but our shame does, and the

enemy loves to put those walls up. The devil doesn't

care if you feel shame. He wants you to feel shame.

You know why, because when you feel shame, just like

Adam and Eve.

What are you gonna do? You're gonna hide from God.

Let me just get to the point. Sex and intimacy

are intended to be beautiful without shame, but the pattern

of the world and culture gives permission to everything and anything.

Sexual activity outside this biblical pattern leads to destruction.

The serpent is sneaky.

He's active in our world, and your choices lead to outcomes.

If you're tempted to lie to your spouse or lie

in your relationships, if you're tempted to have little secret

hobbies on the side that your spouse doesn't know about,

to give in to same sex attraction, to look at pornography,

to use apps to hook up, to flirt with someone

at work. I want you to remind you that your

choices lead to outcomes, and your choices either lead you

towards intimacy with God or away from intimacy with God.

Jesus came for us all aren't you thankful his life,

his death, his resurrection, the fact that in heaven right

now he is interceding for you and me.

That's incredible.

We don't have to follow the pattern of the world,

but we can follow the biblical pattern. And if you

have fallen into that pattern, Jesus forgives you if you ask,

come on, that is so good. He doesn't want us

to live in shame and condemnation. Those are tactics of

the enemy.

Be aware.

So when it comes to sexuality, there's a distinct pattern.

Can't you see that? There's a distinct pattern between what

culture says and what the Bible says. If you see it,

say n Amen, you see it. There's also a pattern

that we're going to compare the pattern of marriage. What

does culture say about marriage? How does it compare to

the biblical pattern of marriage? Number one is said culture

says that self is always first. Don't let anyone come

before you. Have you heard that, I've heard it.

The Bible tells us that self is last, that it's

better to serve than to be served.

What a contrast your first versus you your last? Jesus

told us in Matthew twenty twenty six. Whoever wants to

become great among you must be your servant. Whoever wants

to be first, must be your slave. Just as the

son of Man did not come to be served, but

to serve, to give his life as a ransom for many.

Paul talks about Jesus in Acts twenty thirty five, where

he said it is more blessed to give than to receive.

Culture says self is first. The Bible says self is last.

Somebody say that self is last, self is last. Secondly,

Culture says that if someone makes you happy, they are right.

If they make you happy unhappy, they should be replaced. Ouch,

let me say that again. I thought i'd get a

better response. Culture says, if someone makes you happy, they're right.

If they make you unhappy, they should be replaced.

Thank you.

That contrast to what the Bible says. The Bible says,

it isn't the responsibility of anyone to bring you joy,

but your joy comes from the Lord.

Come on, friends.

Niamih eight ten says the joy of the Lord is

my strength. Psalm sixteen eleven says in your presence God,

there is fullness of joy. John fifteen eleven says, I've

told you these things, that you might have joy, and

that you might have it.

To the full.

We tell couples in pre marriage counseling all the time

it's up to the individuals to bring a reasonably happy

person into this relationship.

Your spouse is not the.

Source of your happiness and certainly not the source of

your joy. Can a spouse bring happiness and joy? Absolutely,

and they should so. Culture says if someone makes you happy,

they're right. If they make you unhappy, they should be replaced. Third,

culture says that if it's hard, it's bad, love should

come easy. The Bible teaches, are you ready for this?

Hardship is guaranteed, but love endures. Come on, that's so

good One Corinthians thirteen. We call it the love chapter,

and it is completely countercultural. It says that love is patient.

What does culture say about patience? You figure it out,

he says. Bible says love is kind. Well, culture might say, okay,

you be kind to me, and I'll be kind. I'll

reciprocate that. Love is not jealous, it's not proud, it

doesn't dishonor, it's not selfish, it's not easily angered. Somebody

needs to hear that it keeps no record of wrong.

Somebody else needs to hear that love hates evil but

loves the truth. Love protects it, trusts it hopes, Love perseveres.

ROMs twelve two says, do.

Not conform to the pattern of the world, but be

transformed by the renewing of your mind. Those are good words.

There's two patterns, the culture and there's the Biblical pattern.

I'm going to conclude this first part with just a

few thoughts. First, if you have found yourself in a

relationship where you have been hurt and the outcomes of

those choices may not have even been yours, but you're

feeling pain when it comes to relationships, I want you

to know that your help comes from the Lord. He

loves you. He is a healing God. He restores you. Second,

if you've been struggling in the area of sexual sin,

maybe deception, lying, I want you to know that the

steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never

come to an end. They are new every morning. Great

is your faithfulness of God. All you have to do

is turn ask the Lord for forgiveness, and he will

give you forgiveness. Isn't that incredible? Incredible? I'd like to

pray with you before we move on. We're almost to

the fun part. We just bow your heads. I'm just

gonna ask. I'm not going to ask anybody to raise

your hand the service. I just believe that the Lord

has spoken to you, and if you are struggling in

your relationship, or maybe you're struggling with past hurts, that

in this moment, the Lord is going to touch you

and heal you and get you back on that path

of restoration. I also believe that the Lord is clearly

speaking to some of you about sexual sin, things that

you've been hiding from your spouse. And I just want

to remind you that there's an enemy that wants nothing

more than for you to live in shame, in condemnation.

But there's no condemnation for those who are in Christ.

So we're going to ask the Lord to restore us

so we don't have to live in condemnation. Will you

just repeat after me, Dear Jesus, I need you. I

need you to heal my heart. I need you to

restore my mind. I have been deceived. I recognize that deceit.

I turn from it. I turn my eyes to you.

I ask you to forgive me to restore me, to

heal me. Holy Spirit, I welcome you, convict me of sin,

lead me downright paths. Thank you Jesus for your forgiveness.

In Jesus' name, amen to thankful for his forgiveness this morning. Yes, yes,

thank you Jesus, Thank you Jesus. All right, now, we're

going to take the last few minutes and we're gonna

turn to something pretty fun. If you're over the age

of sixteen, I want you to get your phone out

right now, and I want you to turn your camera on.

In just a minute, we're going to put a QR

code up here. Not yet, but in just a minute,

we're going to do that. We have partnered with less Parrot.

You guys familiar with us Parrot. He was one of

the founding contributors to e Harmony. He knows a thing

or two about relationships and marriage, and he is partnering

with us on a survey we're going to take this morning,

everybody single, married, everybody in the room, and he's also

going to help us resource you at our marriage conference.

I'm going to just call it the conference because I

want some of our singles there, because we want to

equip you This survey that we're going to take is free.

It's completely anonymous.

Husbands and wives, you're not taking it together as a couple.

You're taking it individually, so no peeking over your shoulder

to see how they're answering. What this survey does is

it gives you a puts you in a category. There's

thirteen different categories, and it's going to just kind of

identify where you are in regards to commitment, communication, and

your overall relational health. Hey, it's a powerful tool, So

go ahead and put the QR code up. I will

say this, some of our friends in the first service

had a problem. I love I see all these phones

going up. We're gonna give you time. We're gonna fill

that survey out right now in the service, So get started.

I will tell you this. As you're filling out.

The survey, it is going to ask you if you're

in a relationship or or single. That'll be clear, and

they'll ask you questions pertaining to that. At the end,

some people were getting kicked out and it wasn't showing

the results on our What's next page. If you followed

that link later on at home, you should be able

to complete the survey. So I apologize to those who

weren't able to complete it, but we will make sure

you get those results at the very end of the survey.

If you're married, it's gonna give you the option to

add your email address. If you do that, it's gonna

send you the complete results of the survey.

So here we go.

We're gonna put on some chill music. There's qrs on

both sides sides of the room. I'm just gonna let

you do your thing. I would encourage you to read

the answers before you select. I've made the mistake of

selecting the wrong answer and I didn't have the way

to correct it. So just read the answers. Be like,

I'm a bad test taker, So read the answers before

you answer. Not okay, I don't see a lot of eyeballs.

I see a lot of top of heads. You're still working.

I see a few heads that could use some roguine

Just just just say I'm just seeing if you're listening.

That's all that was. I love you, Pastor Morgan.

Yeah, let's see all right, Pastor Kelsey, go ahead and

come on up. And I know you want to wrap

the service up here in just a minute. We're gonna

give you just a couple more seconds here to finish

the survey. As you finish the survey, you'll you'll probably see,

unless you get kicked out, you'll probably see one of

those categories. Uh. It might say isolated, they might say fickle.

There's thirteen different categories. But I'm going to leave you

with this two quick thoughts. First of all, this is

just a survey. It's not a pathway of your life.

So if you are discouraged by the results of your survey,

remember we're all in a process. We're all on a journey,

and we want to be here to help you as

your church family. Give you some direction if you're thriving

or in the strong category. Those are the top two

strong or thriving. I want to ask if you would

accept my invitation to a conversation about being a marriage mentor.

On our next What's.

Next page, you'll see one of the follow ups is

I will consider having a conversation about being a marriage mentor.

I would love to have that conversation with you. If

you select that, it's going to direct you to my

email and I'll reach out to you. We need more

marriage mentors. Those who have been in this who are

doing well. We need you to help those who are not.

I think that might be a biblical, biblical process. Okay,

I'm going to turn it over. Have you had a

good morning? All right, Thank you all. We'll see you

next time. Kelsey bring us home.

Well of you.

Here today's Matt. Thank you again for joining us. If

you enjoyed today's service, go ahead and subscribe to our

channel so you can see future messages. If you'd like

to learn more about Venture Church, you can like the

link that's in our bio. Do We hope to see

you again.