Session 1 | Parenting with Grace & Truth

What a joy to be with you.

And for this purpose of thinking through of how to parent our children in ways that would really bring honor to the Lord and benefit to our kids as they grow up and keep us sane in the midst of it.

So it's a joy.

It really is to be with you.

Jody and I have done this a number of times at different places.

This isn't the first time.

But on the other hand, we kind of approach it a little bit differently than some do with a bit more of a theological center to it, instead of it being just kind of a list of principles or rules or practices or that sort of thing, all of which can be very helpful.

But I think thinking of it in a theological way is really helpful.

So that's what we're going to do.

Jody's going to be talking to the women tomorrow in a breakout session.

So the women, you really want to be here for that.

I know what she's going to say, and it's really important.

So try to be here tomorrow for that.

Yes, handouts for each of these sessions we'll have.

So they're getting the one out for tonight to you right now.

So let me just pray real quickly.

Again, you can continue handing out while we're doing that, and then we'll get going here.

Father, thank you so much for this privilege of being able to come together to think about one of the most important tasks that you give us to do as we marry and then have children.

Certainly one of the most important areas of our lives then becomes raising those children.

And so, Father, we pray that you would grant us insight from your word, that you would speak to us through that word and through your spirit's work among us, that we may know that we have heard from you, Lord, in gaining some insight in how to parent our children.

And we commit this doubt to you in Christ's name and pray this in His name, amen.

So this title of this first one is Parenting Our Children as God Fathers Us.

Let me give you the big idea first before I launch into what's on the handout here.

The big idea is this, that God is the original Father.

It is not the case that God has called Father because He looked at us and He said, you know, there are homes out there with leaders of those homes, they're called fathers, and because they have authority in their homes and because they function in that way of responsibility, that that kind of matches what I am to them.

So I'll be Father also, you know, to follow in line with what they are as fathers.

No, it's just the other way around.

God is the eternal Father of the eternal Son.

There never was a time when the Father is not the Father.

It's an eternal reality, and the Son is the eternal Son of the eternal Father.

So Father-Son reality exists apart from creation.

So when God makes the world, isn't it amazing that He takes that name Father?

Wow! And He gives it to people like me.

That's just an amazing thing.

And one of the things that I think we're to take from that is we learn from Him what it is to be a Father.

It's not that He looks at us and says, oh, that's what a Father is, I'll name myself the same way.

Uh-uh.

It's rather He is the prototype.

He's the original.

He's the perfection of fatherhood.

And then He says, I'm going to name you men who are responsible in your homes and have wives.

I'm going to call you fathers of your children.

And so there's a sense in which we can look at God as an example of how we should, for men in particular, father our children as God fathers us.

But of course it extends to the wife as well.

Children obey your parents, honor your father and mother, right?

So it applies to them too.

Hence the title, Parenting our Children as God Fathers Us.

So there's a more direct application to fathers, but it also applies to mom and dad both, as they look to God as the example of how parenting should take place, how fathering should take place.

So that's kind of the big idea on this, which raises the question then, doesn't it?

How does God father us?

Ah, you're on the page then with me.

Okay, let's begin.

You've got the handout now.

Introduction, our father, beginning words of the Lord's Prayer, our father who is in heaven.

Let's say it together.

Our father who is in heaven, hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses and forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory for ever and ever.

Amen.

Our father, how astonishing, remarkable, nearly unbelievable that Jesus would command his disciples to pray to God, addressing him with our father.

Of course, many of us don't find this particularly astonishing or remarkable.

We're quite accustomed to thinking of God his father and praying to him as father.

But when Jesus gave this command, pray this way, our father who is in heaven, it was utterly astonishing, remarkable and nearly unbelievable.

Why?

Well, there are two main reasons.

The first is this, that the Jewish world of Jesus' day never, aha, I'll defend that in just a moment, never referred to God as father.

So if you look at Jewish literature from say 200 years before Christ to 200 years after Christ, guess what?

There is not one single recorded reference in that Jewish literature of referring to God as father.

So when Jesus says our father, it is shocking.

It's just too intimate.

It's too near.

It's too close.

You don't do that.

But that's what Jesus does, right?

So for example, the Jesus Seminar, do you remember those crazy guys?

This is maybe 15, 20 years ago, who decided to go through the gospels and vote on which parts of it were authentic and which were not, right?

And the only part of the Lord's Prayer that got a thumbs up, it's completely authentic is our father.

That's it.

The rest they decided was some level of questionable, whether that was really from the lips of Jesus.

But this had to be because there was nothing in Jewish culture or in extant literature that would indicate supporting that way of talking.

So, yep, our father, God voted in.

Well, thanks, guys.

We really appreciate your work on that.

But secondly, here's the second reason that Jesus commanding us to pray our father is remarkable.

Jesus himself regularly refers to God as his father, but of course he deserves it.

That is his father.

He is the eternal son, the eternally begotten son.

You remember John 3, 16, God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son.

So the one who comes into the world is one who is already son.

Now he becomes son in a new way in the incarnation as he becomes son of Mary, son of David, but he's also son of God because he's the eternal son of the father.

Though, yes, Jesus himself deserves that name as son of the father.

The father deserves that name as father, and he rightly calls God father, but us?

What right do we have to call him father?

Except that we are brought into his family through faith in Christ so that as those who are adopted into the family of God, we call God father.

It is stunning, is it not?

So amazingly, Jesus commands his disciples to join him in praying our father who is in heaven.

Yes, it truly is astonishing and wonderfully remarkable.

Okay, now what does it mean to address God as father?

Just what kind of father is he?

The biblical concept of God as father, I'm arguing here, has two related ideas which to be thought of and believed in correctly must both be understood and embraced.

This is so important.

Both of these ideas represent God as father.

We'll talk about what they are in just a moment.

Both of these ideas represent God as father, but honestly, we have to understand both of them together, not one or the other.

Either of these two ideas without the other results in deeply distorted notions of God as father.

Only when both are together can we have the right understanding that can nurture our faith and hope in God as our father.

And furthermore, just because you can see where this is going, only as we apply both of those understandings of God as father to our parenting, are we mimicking God correctly in how we parent our children.

Do you get the point?

We should parent our children the way God fathers us.

Well, both of these are critical, critical for parenting well and mimicking the father who is the prototype, who is the perfect example, who does it with excellence every time.

So indeed, understanding how God is father helps us then understand how we should be, should grow to become more like that as parents of our children.

So what are these two ideas?

Well, I'll summarize it here and then develop it through looking at the Lord's Prayer along with some other supporting texts.

So here are these two ideas.

I would put them this way.

God our father, first of all, indicates this, that God deserves our worship, our reverence, our loyalty, our following.

There is a sense in which God as father means we are obligated.

This is not an option.

We are obligated to honor Him, to respect Him, to listen to Him, to obey Him, to follow in His ways.

We have no option but to do that because His father were children.

Children obey your parents. Well, guess what?

God is our father.

So we honor Him. We revere Him.

We follow Him. We obey Him.

So indeed, God deserves, God as father deserves our worship, reverence, loyalty, following.

Here's the second thing.

Beautiful. Oh my goodness.

Aren't you so glad this is a couplet that these two things go together?

Second thing, God as father desires.

You could even say delight sin, right?

It begins with D. You can do that.

It's alliterated, you know, so that's legal.

He desires, He delights in our well-being, our renewal, our loveliness, our fullness.

So in other words, God as our father is 100% for us.

We know that.

We know He wants us to thrive, to flourish.

We know He wants us to grow and be the fullness of what He has created and redeemed us to be in Christ.

As Father, He wants our best.

Isn't that, doesn't that give us just such great confidence, right?

In fact, doesn't it inspire us even more back to the first point?

To want to honor Him and revere Him, in part because He's so good to me.

He's so faithful. He's so trustworthy.

So indeed, you might think of it this way, the greatness of God and the goodness of God.

Both represent the fatherhood of God.

He's great.

Oh my, is He ever majestically, transcendently great and deserves our honor and allegiance.

And He is so unfailingly good.

So kind, so gracious, so generous, so forgiving, so lavish in His love.

Isn't it wonderful He's both of those?

Yeah.

So indeed, let's examine these two facets of God's fatherhood, particularly as they are demonstrated in the Lord's Prayer.

So I just noticed years ago in the Lord's Prayer, that you've got these two things that really comprise the content of the Lord's Prayer.

And then I want to buttress that from other passages as well, where you see the themes represented.

So beginning of the Lord's Prayer, our Father who is in heaven, hallowed be wholly separate is your name.

Your kingdom come. Your will be done.

On earth in my life, in my situation with my people, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven, where those who are there carry it out perfectly in heaven.

May we do that increasingly here.

Okay, so that opening, those opening verses, verses 9 and 10 of the Lord's Prayer, emphasizes God is the one who is to be honored.

Let's realize we're talking about God.

He's the only one who is supremely worthy of honor and glory and blessing, of adoration and respect and worship. Why?

Well, let me just remind you, you know this, but the reason God alone is worthy of these things, because God alone possesses within himself intrinsically and eternally every quality in infinite measure.

Should we honor what is honorable?

Should we worship what is worthy of worship?

Yes, well, who else is there who is honorable in the ultimate sense?

Who is worthy of worship in the ultimate sense other than God?

He has every...so should we honor wisdom when we see it?

Yeah, wisdom is an amazing thing to behold.

Well, who has infinite, perfect wisdom?

God does. Should we stand in awe of beauty?

Yeah, good as we should.

There's a lot of beauty in this country right here.

Should we stand in awe of it? Yes.

Well, who is the one who possesses infinite, perfect beauty?

God. And go down the list.

Holiness, justice, righteousness, knowledge, power.

God possesses all of these things within himself intrinsically and in infinite measure.

So he alone is worthy of all of these things.

So indeed, our Father who is in heaven, hallowed be your name, hallowed, holy, set apart.

Why is his name set apart?

Remember from Isaiah the repeated refrain, there is no one like me, declares the Lord.

Oh, indeed, he is sui generis.

That's not supremely kind and generous.

That's not the idea, right?

Latin for? Anybody? Sui generis.

One of a kind. No one like him.

Incomparable is this God.

So he is to be honored and because he is God, we recognize his ways are always right.

So our Father who is in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done. Why?

Well, whose will would you rather have done?

Somebody who is actually a fool and what they're deciding, you want them to be the ones in charge?

Kind of reminds you of something going on in our country at the moment.

But we won't go there, will we? No, we won't.

So, you know, you just realize, yes, why would you want God's will to be done?

Why would you want his kingdom to come?

God, he knows everything perfectly.

He has perfect wisdom.

He knows exactly what is best to plan.

You can't improve on the ways of God.

Have you come to terms with that?

I'm just thinking in terms of how we live before him as individual Christians.

Have you come to terms with that fact when you're pleading with God for something that you really want?

Pray fervently for something you really want.

Have you come to terms with the fact that God knows best, not me?

So the point of prayer is not to convince God of what you know to be best, but rather to bring your request before him, but always end by saying, as Jesus did, not my will, but yours be done.

Why would you say that?

Because, you know, his will is always best, always, every time.

So indeed, you realize he's the one who is worthy of honor.

His kingdom and will should be desired and obeyed.

There's three imperatives that are here, right?

They don't sound imperatival, you know, as you hear them, but our Father who is in heaven, hallowed be your name.

That is a command.

Hallow the name of God.

Your kingdom come, command.

Bring it. Your will be done.

Bring it.

On earth as it is in heaven. Isn't that amazing?

You're so confident in the will of God, you're not just yielding to it.

Okay, I'll accept your will.

You're saying, God, do it.

Bring it. Your kingdom, your will.

And yes, I will hallow your name.

Consider it separate because of who you are.

So we see from the Lord's Prayer, the beginning two verses then, exalt the greatness and the glory, the majesty, the perfection of God and give us confidence that his ways are right.

This is how we approach God in prayer.

This is how we begin.

You know, so I would encourage you, as you pray in your own prayer times, don't just jump to the list of items so quickly.

Meditate a bit on who this is you're praying to, right?

This glorious, great God and humble yourself before him.

Recognize he knows what's best.

You want his will to be done and so on.

Okay, so in terms of God is Father, this one whom we should respect, this one whom we should follow and obey, notice some other passages that just add support to this.

Malachi 1.6, turn with me if you would.

I'm reading from the New American Standard Translation.

Malachi, the last of the Old Testament books of the Bible.

And you know, Malachi begins.

Wow. Just, it's so sad.

So many places in the prophets where the people of God have really turned away from him.

You know, they're even denying that God loves them.

How have you loved us?

This, you know, that question that begins the book of Malachi is not a question of, let me count the ways of how many ways God has loved us.

You know, it's God, you have not loved us.

That's the charge against God.

So he answers that charge.

I mean, in that famous statement, I've loved you, but I've hated your brother Esau.

Right. So we're not going to go into that right now, but you move on down.

You come down to verse six.

And this is what God says to his people.

A son honors his father and a servant, his master.

Then if I am father, where is my honor?

If I am master, where is my respect?

Says the Lord of hosts to you, O priests, who despise my name.

So it's just it's just a very simple little statement, isn't it?

But isn't it so telling if I am your father, where is my honor?

So if we sail to honor God, we are sailing to acknowledge his rightful place as father over us.

But I just you know, just you got to realize in your own heart, I am the same way.

We're all sinners.

So we're all prone to I want my way.

You know, I've said many, many times the theme theme song of hell has already been written and sung many, many times by a famous now deceased Italian male soloist.

I did it my way.

All right. It's a theme song of hell.

That's it right there.

So yes, we're all prone toward this.

I want to do it my way.

Of course, you never see that in your children, do you?

No, never, never shows up.

So I mean, this is just hardwired because of sin within us.

So it has to it has to it requires the work of the spirit within us to move away from.

I want it my way to I want it God's way, right?

I want it God's way.

So this is what God is calling us to is to embrace that and to honor him as the one who has rights over us.

Absolute rights as creator.

He owns us as redeemer.

We're twice owned by God and enhance.

We honor his name.

If I am your father, where is my honor?

Is it expected?

And of course, the parallel concept that is in that verse, if I'm your master, where is my respect?

So you realize father master, they're not identical, but they're overlapping conceptions.

Children obey your parents, right?

Honor your father and mother, but fathers raise your children in the fear of the Adventist and the Lord.

So you mean there's an ultimate sense that father is the head of the home.

And so he's the master, as it were, in sense.

So honor and respect is owed to father.

God is father.

We owe him honor and respect.

Another passage.

First Peter, chapter one, verses 14 to 17.

Another place where you see this same idea at verse 14.

Now this again, NSB, I think it reads a little differently in the ESV if that's what you're looking at.

But I'm reading from the NSB as obedient children do not be conformed to the former lust, which were yours in your ignorance.

But like the holy one who called, you'll be holy yourselves in all your behavior because it is written, you shall be holy for I am holy.

Now just stop right there.

God is father is is implied in what has been stated so far, right?

Did you see it?

Verse 14 as obedient children, well, children of our heavenly father.

So it's implied there, but then he makes it explicit in verse 17.

If you address as father, the one who impartially judges according to each one's work, conduct yourselves in fear during the time of your stay upon her.

So fear the Lord.

I mean, a concept that is much more developed in the wisdom literature in the Old Testament.

But here it is repeated in the New Testament where we are to tremble at the thought of going against the will in the ways of God.

Because we know he disciplines were coming to Hebrews in just a moment.

He disciplines those who stand against him.

And we want to be in a relationship with him in which we.

And what's the word I need here?

We draw from him his kind and merciful responses to us, not the heavier hand of his discipline that comes to his children.

So move on with me to Hebrews 12.

You'll see it there in Hebrews 12.

Again, another passage where we see father is ascribed to God.

Verse seven, it is for discipline that you endure.

God deals with you as with sons for what son is there who whose father whom his father does not discipline.

But if you are without discipline, of which you have become partakers, then all then you are illegitimate children and not sons.

Furthermore, we had an earthly father to discipline us and we respected them.

Shall we not much more rather be subject to the father of spirits and live?

So respecting your human father is a mirror reflection of the greater respect and honor that we owe to God.

We also see in that verse the way in which the two are parallel, aren't they?

The way we understand God as father is the way we understand fathers, human fathers as father, our parents in our relationship with them.

So this first theme of the fatherhood of God in the Bible is one that faces us with this reality that we owe to God.

Our allegiance, our respect, our devotion, our honor, our worship, our adoration and our obedience to him.

Now, we'll talk more about the application of this, but you begin to see a don't you right away.

Fathers in our homes must represent God as father in part because that's how it works.

This is what father is you father in the way I father you.

But also now listen because your children will learn to honor God as father as they learn to honor you as father.

They disrespect you.

They disrespect their mother.

Also an authority over them.

Children will be your parents.

Then you're encouraging them, not that there's any necessity in this, but you're encouraging them to think in terms of dishonoring God.

So it's the preparatory way in which we help our children grow to understand we must honor God.

We must give our devotion to him.

So in summary, God deserves honor and respect.

He expects his lordship to be embraced, his will to be done.

He will judge and discipline to bring about obedience and holiness.

OK, that's the first theme of God as father.

Roman numeral three.

God, our father, desires our well-being and our renewal, our loveliness, our fullness.

So notice in the Lord's Prayer, it shifts from this honor of God, the great and glorious God of wisdom and power.

Your will be done.

Your kingdom come.

I mean, this God of majesty and authority who reigns over all, it shifts from that to give us this day our daily bread.

Isn't that amazing?

That great, mighty, glorious, hallowed God, caring about every day needs?

Yeah.

Isn't it amazing?

Give us this day our daily bread.

I think Jesus starts there because he starts with probably the most basic need that we know we have.

And that's the need to eat every day.

Right?

We just know we need that.

And he wants us to think, who's your provider?

Who's the one who will bring to you what you need at the most heart?

Who needs at the most fundamental level of your life?

Your father will.

That's how much he cares for you.

That's how attentive he is to your situation, your needs.

So our Father who is in heaven, hallowed be your name, but give us this day our daily bread.

And notice the daily bread doesn't indicate merely that it's given to us daily, but it's also a prayer that we are to pray daily.

I think that's part of the point of that term is we come before God again today and again the next day and again the next day because we realize we're dependent again before him for what he alone can provide for us.

So don't think Kroger provides your daily needs.

Kroger is a secondary cause in the divine agency as are cows and wheat fields.

They're all secondary causes, but the ultimate cause of feeding you is God.

That's why you bow your head at a meal, right?

Doesn't matter if you got it from Kroger, if you're sitting at a restaurant, that just is irrelevant.

You bow your head and you say, Lord God, thank you for your kindness to provide again for me what I need.

And you've given me, I'm expanding a little bit here, and you've given me taste buds to enjoy it.

Isn't that so kind of the Lord?

I mean, I've thought so many, many times he could have made us so that we feel the need to eat and we have to eat, but it just is bland and tasteless.

We just do it because we know we have to, because we're going to die if we don't.

But who enjoys eating?

I mean, it could have been that way, but instead he put these little taste buds so that, my goodness, that piece of chicken from Chick-fil-A. Wow, that's tasty.

I'm not on the payroll of Chick-fil-A, by the way, just came to mind.

So give us this day our daily bread.

So indeed, he starts with these daily visions.

Notice in Matthew 6, verses 31 to 33, where Jesus hits this a bit more, Matthew 6, 31, do not worry then saying, what shall we eat? What will we drink?

Matthew 6:31–33

Or what shall we wear for clothing?

For Gentiles eagerly seek all these things.

For your heavenly Father, do you see it?

Here it is.

This is how attentive he is to your everyday needs.

Your heavenly Father knows that you need all of these things.

So seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Honor him as God.

So don't forget the first part of the Lord's Prayer.

Don't just jump into, give us this day our daily needs, our daily bread.

Don't jump in there.

Remember the first part, honor God as God.

And then when you come before him and say, Father, I'm hungry, he will hear your prayers.

So indeed, he knows our physical needs, but then notice, give us a say our daily bread.

But then he goes on and forgive us our debts as we have forgiven our debtors.

So it moves from physical needs to spiritual needs.

Are you thinking all along the way here of the relevance of this to human fathers, human parenting?

Physical needs, spiritual needs, getting the point?

Yeah, so the heavenly Father also cares deeply for our spiritual life, spiritual well-being.

So indeed, forgive us our debts as we have forgiven our debtors.

He knows the only way that we will be able to thrive in our spiritual lives is as our sins are taken care of.

Now, human fathers, of course, can't remove sin in the way only God can do as our heavenly Father.

But nonetheless, we can be instruments in our children's lives of helping them see their sin, helping them face their sin, helping them confess their sin, helping them move beyond their sin, right, all of those ways?

But God alone can forgive sin.

I mean, goodness, if we could do that for our children, we would. We would.

We'd get them all in heaven right now. But we can't, but he can.

So we go to him and say, please, Father, forgive me.

Remove the guilt of sin from my heart. Help me to feel instead the peace and joy, the acceptance that I have with you for sins forgiven.

Oh, how precious that is.

And only then, we can mirror that with our children when they confess.

When God forgives their sins, we can help them feel the joy of acceptance, of a sense of peace and joy in the relationship with each other because of sins that are removed.

God removed them, but we're part of the process in that.

So physical needs, spiritual needs. And then the spiritual continues, not only the past thing, forgive us for what we've done in the past, but my goodness, protect us from what's ahead.

Right. So that's where he goes next. Do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

So indeed, Lord, guide my steps as I walk in this life that you keep me from the temptations that you know are so difficult for me that could trip me up.

Please guard my way.

And again, God can do that in a miraculous way, but parents can be instrumental in helping their children, not only in getting past the sins of the past, but also moving forward in ways that are wiser than before.

Right. In ways that are avoiding the kinds of things that have tripped them up in the past.

Right.

And you know what those kinds of things are with your own kids. You know what they're prone toward in terms of sins of their lives or attractions that they have to things that really end up being a problem for them.

So help them with that. Right.

So again, we can't do it in the miraculous way God does, but we can be instruments in his hands in helping them with that.

So spiritual needs of the past, spiritual formation as we move forward in our lives. And then, of course, the end of the Lord's Prayer was likely an editor's edition later on.

But nonetheless, it just resounds with such a beautiful summation at the end for yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

OK, so God is for his people. Just hear that. Know that. Take that to heart. He is for you.

Let me just a moment on that. If you have any doubts as a believer that God is one hundred percent for you.

I know you will not trust him.

I can just predict this right now because you don't trust someone who you think doesn't have your back, isn't for you.

Don't doubt, please don't doubt the love that God has for you as a believer. Do not doubt that.

He who did not spare his own son but delivered him up for us all.

How will he not with him freely give us all things to all things must be interpreted as not.

I mean, to get a new Mercedes. How about that?

Every everything that is good and building up for your life, he will not hold one thing back.

Believe that God is for you. So yes, he's the mighty exalted, holy, revered God who also hears so fervently, thoroughly, perfectly, unfailingly for his people.

For their everyday needs, for getting them past what's in their background, what's in the past for them and moving them forward in ways that will be more productive.

He is for you. Trust him.

And now a couple of the passages that help us see this.

Psalm 89, such an interesting Psalm, Psalm that refers to the Davidic covenant. That is the covenant made with David back in 2 Samuel 7.

We're not going to turn to it. Just turn to Psalm 89 if you would like to.

But in that passage in 2 Samuel 7, God promises David that he will have a son who will sit upon his throne forever.

So this Davidic covenant establishes then the line that goes to Jesus, the ultimate greater son of David, is one that has to go through David, has to come from him.

So he is referred to as a son of God. David is a firstborn. So look with me at verse 20.

I have found David, my servant. With my holy oil I have anointed him, with whom my hand will be established, my arm will strengthen him, the enemy will not deceive him nor will the son of wickedness afflict him.

But I shall crush his adversaries before him and strike those who hate him. My faithfulness and my steadfast love will be with him and in my name his horn will be exalted.

I shall also set his hand on the sea and his right hand on the rivers. He will cry to me, you are my father. You see that there? You are my father, my God and the rock of my salvation.

Now notice in that one verse right there in verse 26, you have both aspects of crying to God as this great mighty God who is powerful and worthy of honor, but this God who will rescue me, this God who cares, this God who will deliver. You see it? He will cry to me, you are my father, my God and the rock of my salvation.

I will also make him my firstborn, the highest of the kings of the earth. My steadfast love I will keep for him forever.

My covenant shall be confirmed to him. I will establish his descendants forever as his throne as the days of heaven.

So this passage also reflects upon that God is father to David in a particular way as the promised one through whom the Messiah will come of protection and provision for him.

Second Corinthians 1 verses 2 to 4, another passage that highlights God as father in this way of care for us. So Paul begins, Second Corinthians.

2 Corinthians 1:2–4

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God and Timothy, our brother to the church of God, which is at Corinth with all the saints who were throughout Achaia.

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort who comforts us in all our affliction.

Circle the word all. You will never be afflicted in any way in your life that God is not there.

You talk about pastoral oversight. You know, this is an incredible promise of God so that he who comforts us in all of our affliction, so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

So this this is God as Father, the Father of mercies, the Father who comforts, the Father who cares, the Father who comes. He won't fail to come.

He's not too busy. He's not out of town. He'll be there. Now we can't do that. I mean, we can't always do that with our children.

We can't, you know, husbands can't always do that with their wives. Wives can't always do that with their husbands.

But guess who always does, can and does. God your Father.

OK, then finally, James one, sixteen to eighteen.

Do not be deceived. James writes by beloved brethren, every good thing given, every perfect gift. Does the ESV say every, every?

It does good because it is. It is every good thing given. Every perfect gift is from above coming down from the Father.

Now he's called here the Father of lights. Why do you suppose that would be the case?

Well, what is lights bring to mind? Oh, beauty, splendor, majesty.

I mean, you have lights that make everything bright and beautiful, don't you? Right.

So the Father of lights who light lightens your life, who brings you these good things.

And this and this Father of lights is one with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.

So they're all just hold fast to this, my friends. He never changes.

He's always this way. This Father of lights who is for you, who wants so badly for you to know.

He hears your prayers. He knows your affliction. He's there is the Father of mercies.

Second Corinthians one as the Father of lights. James one, he's there to help and comfort and console and bring every good, every perfect gift that you need in your lives. What an amazing Father.

OK, so both of these things are tied to Father summary on this one is this.

God possesses an unfaltering, unwavering commitment to the well-being of his children.

He delights in being the one who meets their every need, helps them when they're in trouble, comforts them when sorrowful. His presence brings grace, peace, goodness and joy.

Now, my friends, this is the same God as the one we talked about earlier, who disciplines his children, who requires their allegiance and obedience. This is not, you know, take your pick, one God or the other.

This is God whose Father is both of these. Right? And both are so important.

OK, well, I've already dipped into application, but let's move into that directly and think about this a bit together.

Fathers, first of all, consider and of course, this is parents more generally, although it has a more direct application to fathers, but it relates to mothers as well in the home. Consider the two ideas together that comprise the biblical portrayal of God as Father and apply it to your own father relationship, fatherly relationship with your children.

So think first of respect, honor, obedience. Do you expect your children to show you respect, to heed your word precisely because you are their father?

And for that matter, if Ephesians six children obey your parents, honor your father and mother because you are their parents.

Right. So we can extend this rightly, justifiably from the Bible to mom and dad.

Do you expect them to show you respect, heed your word precisely because you are their parents?

Do you see their obedience to you as foundational for their obedience to God?

Now, there are many people who end up obeying God who had terrible parents and didn't weren't taught to obey.

So there's not a necessary connection if you don't do it the right way than there.

So I'm not saying that, but I am saying this, trade up a child in the way you should go.

And when he's old, he won't depart from it. That's a general principle. Right.

So generally, our children learn to obey God because they've learned to obey us.

So I just want to hit on this for a moment.

My sister and then our family, my sister is four years older than I.

They established kind of a, oh, not a slogan.

What would you call this? A motto, a motto for their home.

To delay is to disobey. And we practice this with our children.

So, I mean, here's the problem when you tell your child to do something and they don't do it.

And you tell them again and they don't do it. You tell them again and it gets a little heated and the volume goes up.

And then, well, then they learn, oh, mom, dad doesn't mean it until they say it this way.

Then we know they mean it. Don't do that.

So to delay is to disobey. So train your children to obey.

Now, I just ask yourself the question, when does God expect us to obey him?

Third time, fourth time? And the first two or three don't matter?

I'm sorry. It just doesn't work that way.

So be consistent with your kids.

And especially those of you who have younger children at home, be consistent with them in the early years.

And I'll tell you, it will relieve you of so much grief that you might end up having in the later years if they learn when they're young to obey their mom and dad that they have to do it.

You know, so, you know, it's just a matter of being consistent with it.

I mean, sometimes you know this. I know this. It's just easier to let it go.

Oh, they didn't listen. They didn't do what I said, but I'm just going to ignore it.

Well, yeah, you can do that. It's easy, but it's not good.

It's not the best thing for them to do that.

And I'm joking. I've just noticed that there is a tendency in parenting nowadays.

Maybe it has been for a long time. And certainly we've seen this in other cultures, too, of just far too much permissiveness.

Child centered homes where the kids rule.

We were just in a place recently. This is recorded, isn't it?

Where we observe this with some children.

And I actually talked to one of the dads about this because I just thought, you know what?

This is not going to work well for the family, for the children, for the parents.

Just by letting this keep going, because you end up then with a place that's oftentimes very unhappy.

A lot of quarreling and bickering and demanding.

And instead of, you know, early compliance establishes a home of order and peace.

So be consistent. In fact, I would be so bold as to say with little children, you always win with them every time.

That's the goal. Always win.

That is, they do what you say.

And if they don't do it the first time, there's a pop on the rear end or something that they realize, ah, ah, you can't ignore this.

And so, and again, this isn't, I'm not, boy, maybe I have to say this in this day and age, I'm not calling for abuse. Being mean or harsh with your children.

I am not calling for that, but I am calling for consistent and appropriate discipline that will help them learn children obey your parents, honor your father and mother.

Now, let me say one more word about this, particularly to dads in relation to their moms.

One of the most important gifts that you, dad, can give to your wife is to train your children to respect their mother.

She's not going to do it probably. She's too tender. She just is, you know, at least in many, many cases.

Of course, there's a lot of differences here, but, you know, in many, many cases, she just is not going to be the one who enforces the rules with her own kids.

Dad, you got to be the guy who comes into the room and says, you know, hey, you do not talk to your mother that way.

You know what? That woman you're talking to, that's my wife.

I love her with all of my heart. And you just cannot be that way toward my wife, your mother.

You respect your mother. You do what your mother says.

And if you don't, I'll tell you, you got me to deal with.

So, dads, just do this. Do this with your kids. Sit them down.

I don't care what stage they're in with mom right now. You sit them down and say, you know what?

We're going to establish some rules here that perhaps we should have done earlier in which you respect your mother and you listen to her. You do what she says. No backtalk.

Now, you can ask politely if you think something else should be done or whatever the case would be.

But it better be polite. It better be honoring to her.

So, I think this is just something a dad can do so that when you're at work or you're out of town or you're not there, my goodness, those kids have learned to live with their mother in a way that their mother can survive this.

You get it? Can thrive with this because their kids are really a joy to be with.

So dads do that. So, you know, the obedient side of it is a very, very important thing.

And I just think it takes consistency. It takes the appropriate kinds of discipline that fit the situation.

It takes wisdom, obviously. And in most cases, it's something that should be led primarily by the dad in the home.

Now, those of you, some of you out there probably are mothers without a father in the home.

And it's harder. I know it is, but I've talked with mothers, single moms over the years.

And I know that you too can do this. It just is harder for you to do it.

But you just have to with your kids, sit them down and say, you know what?

The Bible is very clear about this. I stand before you as God stands to me.

So I have you ever noticed that the commandment, honor your father and mother in the 10 commandments, is in the middle between the vertical, honor God, and the horizontal, how you live with one another.

What's the bridge commandment? Smack dab in the middle. On honor. Isn't that amazing?

Honor, which had been given to God earlier, honor your father and mother.

And as you do that, you learn not to steal. You learn not to commit adultery.

You learn not to, you know, so these other horizontal ways of living then are taught in homes where children honor their father and mother.

OK, so think first of that. And I just would encourage you even, you know, go home tonight or tomorrow sometime and talk together as a husband and wife about how we can better help our kids learn to be respectful, to be honoring of us.

And and obedient. Second, consider love, care, provision, protection, well-being.

Your children know in the depths of their hearts that their dad and mom loves them and wants their very best.

Do they see God's love and care for them through their own human parents, love and care for them?

So this is equally important, isn't it? That your kids know that you are for them.

You love them. You care for them. Even when you discipline them, you, you know, have this time afterwards, maybe even before, before and after of affirming your love for them.

Because this discipline is not out of a heart of anger and hatred. It is out of a heart of love that wants their best.

So you know what? I'm not going to hold back because you need this.

And then you cuddle with them and you just let them know your love for them.

I think it's just good to ask yourself this question. Do my children know that I absolutely love them? Do I tell them that?

You know, my mom and dad were very good parents. My dad had a dad who was a horrible father. He was an alcoholic, ruined their home.

His mother died at a young age because of how hard life was for them in Fort Valley, Georgia.

You just, you know, poor farmers and watermelon, cotton, just really tough.

My dad became a Christian, prayed that the Lord would show him how to be a Christian husband and father because he had never seen one.

Had no idea what it looked like. And I can tell you as the only son of Bill Ware that God answered that prayer.

And he was an outstanding father. And he knew this blend of a, I mean, I got spanked hard and consistently.

But oh my, I never, ever once doubted how much my dad loved me. I knew it.

He was just all about, you know, what he could do to help me grow and, you know, and advance.

You know what, I'm a little bit of a tangent here, but one of the things he did was he cultivated in me trust.

That is, he entrusted to me certain things that you typically wouldn't do with a kid at that age.

And he just said, Bruce, I trust you. Now don't, you know, if you do something that betrays this trust, of course, that I won't keep trusting you with this.

But I want you to know I trust you. And so, you know, the idea was prove that the trust is well-founded. Right?

I am so grateful for that. Right? So there is love. But, but okay, but here's, but he never said to me, Bruce, I love you.

I wish he had something about that generation. They just didn't do it. At least my parents didn't.

I craved hearing those words from my dad. I knew he loved me, but I'd never heard him say, Bruce, I love you.

Do you say it here, kids? Tell them, tell them, hug them, pull them up close.

Hey, son, daughter, I love you. And then, and then love them in practical ways so they know.

So, so that when the heavy hand comes, when the obedience is demanded, when, when the honor, the honor is, you know, required of them, they know the one who is requiring that is one who cares so dearly and deeply for their best.

This is how the two have to go together. Now, all of us can consider also how our walk of faith with God is affected by these things.

Do we relate to him as the true Heavenly Father that he is? I'm down at the bottom of the page now.

Think first. This is for all of us in relation to God. First of respect, honor, obedience. Are you quick to obey God?

Oh, boy, that's an important question to ask. Or do we fight with him about things? Do we want to negotiate things?

Well, there's no negotiation. You know, the Ten Commandments aren't ten suggestions.

These weren't worked out with us, you know, and are getting our input. Like, I don't want to say anything that you don't like, you know.

So are you kidding? This is God. So are we quick to obey? Do we fear the Lord?

Do we want to please him in all that we do think, say, say and do? Now, I know that none of us will do this perfectly.

We all fail. You know, we all fail in many ways, as James says. But nonetheless, we grow in wanting to become more and more this way.

Quick to obey. Quick to hear. Here I am, Lord. Send me. You know, are you just quick to obey?

And quick to listen and do what God wants us to do and do so because we want to honor him.

And then second, consider his infinite love, his immeasurable kindness, his unsurpassable longing for your best.

Do you trust him implicitly? Do you go to him when you are in need?

Do you honor him as the giver and the provider, the sustainer, the healer, the helper and friend of your life?

So, my friends, you who are parents out there, parent your children, modeled after how God fathers you.

And it will revolutionize your home, you know, as you bring both of these things to bear.

May God help us. Give us wisdom. Give us courage. Give us vision to carry this out for his glory and the good of our families.

Let's pray. Father, thank you for the opportunity to think of these things together with people who love you and love your word and want to honor you.

I know that is true, Lord, of these dear people. And we pray that your spirit would be at work in helping each family to grow in ways that would be beneficial in their lives and honoring to you.

We pray this in Christ's name. Amen.

Amen.

You