Session 4 | Parenting with Grace & Truth

Let's pray together as we begin.

Father, we pause to acknowledge before you that we are weak and feeble and so very ignorant of so many things, Lord God, but you suffer from none of those inadequacies, none of those limitations.

You are infinitely wise and all-knowing and powerful and so very gracious.

And so, Lord, we look to you this morning for what only you can do.

I mean, the things we're going to be talking about, we realize, Lord, can only happen in our lives and in the lives of our children as you work.

And so, Lord, we focus our attention upon you and your excellencies, your majesty and might, but also, Lord, your mercy and kindness and forbearance and your logging, Lord, to come to those who look to you in their need.

And that's us.

We are in need and we look to you, Lord God.

So even now, come and meet with us.

And may we know, Lord, that you have been in our midst and that your spirit has been at work, that your word has spoken powerfully and we will give to you all the honor and glory for every good and perfect gift indeed is from above, from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.

So our hearts trust in you.

We commit this time now to you and pray this in Christ's name.

Amen.

Well, what a joy.

I've had to be with you over the weekend.

Actually started on Thursday with a Thursday session with the seminary faculty and it was really a joy, kind of a workshop faculty time with them.

And that was really a joy.

You've got a wonderful seminary, wonderful people who are servicing there.

And I got to know some I'd never met before and others that I've known and it was a joy.

And then, of course, on Friday and Saturday, the parenting conference, the first one that we did on Friday night was modeled after we would we should parent our children the way God is father to us.

So God's the original father.

We're the ones who are reflections of him.

And so fathers and mothers, it includes mothers on this as well because children obey your parents, right?

We should look at God as the model.

So that was that first session.

Then the second plenary one I entitled, it's kind of an awkward title, but it is participatory parenting, understanding that God is the primary actor in parenting and he works through us.

He gives us that privilege to steward our children.

So that's what that session was about.

And now this one, I hope you have the handout on this one, training our children to love God by loving truths about God.

Psalm 78, let me read verses six and seven.

The generations to come might know even the children yet to be born, that they may arise and tell them to their children that they should put their confidence in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments.

So it's one of the passages of several we could go to in the Bible that indicate that one of the roles that we have as Christian parents is to pass on the faith to our children so that they know that faith, the word of God, but also the works of God, what God has done, and that they may be shaped by that, that they may know those things so that they would obey God.

So notice in that the role, I have this on the handout there.

Notice the role of the head that they not forget and the heart put their confidence.

The hands keep his commandments.

So it's very interesting that there seems to be in this verse, and of course it's true in so much of biblical teaching, a connection between head, heart, and hands.

And I'm going to add another H to that in a bit here.

You'll see that.

But head, heart, and hands is such an important thing that we realize that we are to, first of all, understand the truth of God.

This becomes the most important first thing to have our minds saturated with truth from God's word.

But as I mentioned, after I have that little thing on the order is crucial, I say that after God intends the truth that he gives us to travel.

Interesting metaphor, isn't it?

Traveling truth.

So you meet, he intends that truth to travel first into our heads.

Honestly, nothing good will come of that truth if it doesn't enter our heads first, if we don't know it.

And boy, you realize how important it is to know it rightly.

What if you know truth, put that in scare quotes, that isn't actually true?

That is, you have ideas about God, you have ideas about theological things, but you're not right.

You're not right about it.

My goodness, the whole thing then goes off the rails at that point.

So you have to know the truth and know it rightly and, oh my goodness, and know it as fully as you can so that the glory of continuing to study, continuing to see greater detail and greater richness and greater texture and fullness of that truth over time.

I'm almost 70 years old and I can tell you something.

There's a ton of stuff I don't know that I continue to grow in as a Christian.

My profession is studying and teaching theology and I can just tell you, I know how much I don't know because you just keep growing in this.

I think in all of heaven, we'll continue that process.

So you have that knowledge in your head and correct, accurate, full understanding that then has the potential of impacting heart.

So God intends His truth to travel first into our heads, but from head to heart, if we don't make that 12-inch connection, something has gone terribly wrong.

It is not God's intention for truth to come to our minds and just stay there.

No, it's meant to impact what Edwards, Jonathan Edwards called our affections.

Emotions are not the same as emotions.

They will overlap in certain ways, but emotions are fickle and circumstantially affected.

So somebody says some lousy thing to you.

You might have been, oh, you know, boy, what a great day this is.

Well, I'm so happy.

And somebody says, one little comment to you.

Boy, you just plummet.

You've had that experience, haven't you?

Or the reverse.

You won the lottery.

That's probably a bad example.

You get the point.

You know, just one thing you say to somebody, wow, these emotions are very circumstantially affected and fickle.

Affections are resilient, stable, very hard to change.

So let me give you just an example so you can see the difference.

Imagine a children's worker, say the toddlers, will make it really hard, the toddlers.

And this children's worker, this toddler worker, came to church that Sunday and the people who were supposed to be there to help her didn't show up.

So she's got 20 little toddlers in this room all to herself.

And the pastor preaches long.

Never happens here, right, Jeff?

But anyway, you know, in this case, at another church, pastor preached long.

And this poor woman is in there with all these kids.

And just, you know, so you come to work at the end of it and you say, are you glad the parents are coming to get their kids?

And she said, oh my, am I ever.

So you really don't care about those kids, do you?

What?

How could you say that?

I would give my life for those kids.

You see the difference?

Emotions are frayed, but affections, ooh, they are stubborn.

They are resilient.

So what God wants to do is take that truth and build affections.

I don't know, in terms of other words in English that convey affection, something like convictions comes close, but it's convictions with a passion.

That's what affections are, convictions with a passion, right?

You really feel the weight of these things.

You grow not only to know the truth head, but you grow to love the truth, to see not only the truth of the truth head, but the beauty and wisdom and grandeur and glory of the truth.

That's affections.

So head, heart, and then hands that make, that practice, that put into practice what your heart is committed to, the things you love and hate, the things that you cherish and despise.

That then is reflected in how you live.

There is a very well-known Bible teacher who went around the Pacific Northwest in particular where I grew up, when I was a boy growing up who had a conference he did at our church.

I remembered very, very well, and it was entitled Right Thinking, Right Living.

And I listened to that, and even as a boy, I was always kind of questioning things.

And I heard this, and I thought, you know what?

I know people in this church who have the right thinking side of it, but they're not living it out.

I don't think this is true, that there's a necessary connection between how you think and how you live.

And it wasn't until I read Edwards later that the religious affections in particular that I understood what the problem was.

We don't necessarily live out what we know, but we do live out more regularly, more consistently what we love and hate, what we cherish and despise.

So that connection is not directly from knowledge to living, heads to hands, it's head, heart, hands.

You see it?

So we've got to see that truth take up residence in hearts where we cultivate a deepened love for it, a deepened appreciation, a deepened understanding of its wisdom and its beauty.

I mean, for example, many of you have come to a reformed understanding.

You believe in the doctrine of election now, but how did you used to think of that?

It was a horrible thing.

The sovereignty of God, it was a horrible thing.

You didn't like it back in those days.

What happened was the truth came to your mind.

You understand, yeah, that's what the Bible teaches.

But then in time, God helps you see what the wisdom, the beauty, the glory of that truth.

Let me give you one other illustration of this.

It's a true story.

Carson, if you know that name, he is a very prominent New Testament scholar, one of the greats of our age, taught at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School for many years.

I taught there for a brief period of time.

While I was there, Don was commuting into campus for some of that time with a colleague who held an egalitarian view on the role of women.

That's the view that the egalitarian view holds that men and women are equal, not only in nature, which of course we hold as well, equally human, equally image of God and so on.

But it also holds that they're equal in terms of function, that there should be no authority that a man would have over a woman in any situation.

They reject headship of the man in the home and in the church.

So they'd be supportive of women's ordination and so on.

This fellow was an egalitarian.

Don Carson decided to use the time in the car with this brother to instruct him on the better way.

He commended the complementarian view to him.

So 30 minutes of the car on the way to campus, 30 minutes back home, he lectured to him on the biblical teaching on complementarianism.

I mean, one on one with Don Carson, if you know who that is, you realize, wow, this is quite intimidating.

But anyway, so the day finally came, like two or three weeks into this, where the guy got in the car one morning and first thing he said to Don was, okay, Don, you don't need to lecture me anymore.

I'm now convinced that the Bible teaches the complementarian view, but I don't like it.

To which Don Carson replied, well, then we've gone halfway.

I love that reply.

Oh my, it just nails it.

We've gone halfway.

Yeah.

You can see the truth of the truth, but you have not yet seen the wisdom, the beauty, the intricacy of the design and how good that is.

Right.

Okay.

So head heart, when the heart embraces and affections are formed and there are these passionate convictions, then hands live it out more consistently.

Now we never live perfectly because sin is always there to muck things up.

You know, it'll work perfectly in heaven, but it won't work perfectly here, but it works more consistently when the affections are formed in the way they are.

And then the last H is habitats.

So then people, you know this, don't you, by watching people, people who really live according to their convictions and they, you know, they're, they're consistent in living out what they believe have greater impact on those around them.

You know, you look at this guy go, wow, he really believes this.

He's committed to it.

Right.

I remember, I remember I had a geology teacher in college.

I had no interest in taking this course, but he caught me the very first day in class because he had on the front table, an example of an igneous rock and a metamorphic rock and a sedimentary rock.

And he was all about these rocks.

He said, you know, the history of this thing, he holds up his arm.

Let me tell you where this came from.

You know, he's just so excited and passionate.

I tell you, I was hooked day one, hour one.

So you realize people are affected more by those who have a passionate commitment to what they believe and they live it out consistently.

So head, heart, hands, habitat.

We have more of an impact on those around us, including parents with our children.

When they see, my goodness, mom and dad, they mean it.

They love this.

They are committed to it.

It isn't just a Sunday only thing and forget it the rest of the week.

No, they are committed to it.

So my friends, parenting our kids first and foremost is we need to live out our faith in ways that show head and heart have been connected.

Heart embraces with joy and hands live more consistently what we believe and our kids will see that.

So that's the big idea that of course affects all of us, but now I want to tailor it to our kids and think together about how we can help our children grow in these areas of head, heart, hands and habitat.

So I'm now at Roman numeral two on the handout, the progression and possession of God's truth going through this order.

So capital A head start with the priority of learning well, the truth of God's word, the minds understanding knowing the truth is necessary for the heart's engagement with that truth, loving the truth.

That is knowing the truth provides the possibility and basis for loving the truth.

Jonathan Edwards in the religious affections at one point uses the illustration of a fireplace.

And I just love this illustration.

He talks about how if you're going to have a raging fire, you've got to have wood in there.

And so you pack that thing with wood and of course the better quality of that wood and the larger quantity of that wood will affect how much fire you get from that wood.

But the thing is you can pack that wood in the fireplace and you won't have a fire.

We've got wood in our fireplace right now.

I hope it's not burning.

I just think it looks better with wood in it.

So that's why it's there.

It's just aesthetic period.

But anyway, you can have wood in that fireplace.

It has to be ignited.

There has to be something that that that that lame that takes that wood and brings the fire about.

So he likens the wood in the fireplace to knowledge that is put into our heads.

And true enough, the knowledge in our heads has to be ignited.

Okay, we'll talk more about that in a moment.

But it has to be there.

I mean, you're not going to have a fire without wood in the fireplace, right?

You've got to have the wood there for that to be ignited.

So with kids, you just realize, you know, it probably this truth that you're putting into their heads.

Don't be discouraged if they don't go, Oh, wow, mom and dad, thank you so much for teaching me this.

It's just so wonderful.

I mean, my life has been changed from this, you know, I mean, it really a two years old, three years old, five years old, seven years.

I mean, you know, that's not going to happen.

But you know what you're doing as you pack this truth into their minds is you're making it possible for the day to come when the Holy Spirit works in their hearts through regeneration and gives them a new heart that now they can take the reservoir of that truth and begin to see the beginnings of the goodness and the beauty and the wonder of that little by little by little growing in that as they come to Christ by God's grace and grow.

So, so the first really the first most important role that we have as parents with young children is fill their heads with truth.

You know, in different kinds of ways.

So, you know, Bible memory is such a good thing to do.

My goodness, kids can memorize so much better than we can write parents.

So take advantage of that, you know, and really help them spend time in going through Scripture.

I mean, read scripture together with them.

And you know, in my view, this is just my own preference on this.

I do like individual verses like fighter verses.

You can get those from Truth78.

By the way, Truth78 is the number, right?

So the website is truth78.

That's a seven and an eight dot o r g probably don't know for sure.

But anyway, Truth78 is an organization that used to be called Children Desiring God, but they have lots of resources for families and for kids.

And one of the things they have are these things called fighter verses that were used at Bethlehem Baptist Church years ago.

But now Candace Waters, who's the one who kind of coordinates all that, has asked a bunch of people, Jody and I have participated in this, to write kind of brief little, you know, hundred word, 200 word commentaries on those verses that children can memorize.

So that's a great resource.

There are so many things there for both individuals and churches at that place.

And so, yeah, memorizing verses is fine.

But you know what?

I'm a big fan of taking bigger chunks, you know, and memorizing a book of the Bible or a chapter, you know, of scripture.

And really the best way to do that is just to read it over, like the whole thing.

Read it over, over and over and over and over and over and over.

That is the whole thing, slowly, thoughtfully, and pretty soon you'll get it memorized.

But the advantage of that is you always see the whole context of it, right?

You're thinking the thought of the whole of it as you do that, rather than kind of the piecemeal thing, or you might forget, now you're at verse 11, you might forget what was back there at verse 1, you know, that sort of a thing.

So anyway, I commend that to you as a way of memorizing that works just because of repetition.

You read it enough times and you're going to have it.

So I encourage you to consider that.

You know, and there are other things, catechisms that you can use.

Bethlehem Baptist Church has had, anyway, a catechism that is age-graded.

I think there's at least three different versions of it that starts really simple.

Who created the world?

God.

So it starts really simple.

And then as you get older, those catechisms expand a bit and have a little bit more substance to them.

So I think probably your church has something.

I didn't check, but you probably have something like that available here as well.

But that's a great thing to do.

And then, of course, teaching them the truths of the faith.

Theology is so good to do when they're young.

So you know, by God's grace, the Lord led me to do this with our two kids, Bethany, our daughter, and her sister Rachel.

And later, they just were relentless in the impressing upon me how important it would be to write this up.

So I eventually did, wrote a book entitled Big Truths for Young Hearts that is really more for parents in helping them know theology in a way that they could teach to their children.

Now for older children, they could just read the book also.

Maybe 10, 11, 12 years old, depending on what level of a reader your child is.

But they could do that.

But I think that younger children, you read it and then just talk through those things with your kids.

So a variety of different things you can use.

As I say here, with children, the first priority is what we can assist them with is the head, knowing the truth.

When most younger children are not saved, the heart is not ready to be touched fully.

And even when saved, some maturity and reflection is needed to begin to sense the weightiness of that truth.

Knowing the truth is fully and accurately as one can is crucial to all else.

The second bullet point I make there is an important point.

Children are curious by nature and have many questions.

Resist the urge to squelch this curiosity in questioning due to not knowing the answer.

This happened to me as a boy growing up, I've always been curious.

And as a boy, I had lots of questions.

And honestly, my folks were wonderful parents, but they were kind of annoyed, to be honest with you, what I would bring questions to them of things they couldn't answer.

And I just would encourage you instead of, you know, kind of dismissing your kids with questions about the faith and theological biblical things to say to them, you know what?

You know, mommy doesn't know the answer to that.

Daddy doesn't know the answer to that.

But you know what?

Let's find out.

Let's work on this together.

Take it on as a project.

Talk to a pastor.

Take a look at some books and...

Excuse me.

See if you can.

Take that as an opportunity for you and your child to explore something and both learn something together.

That's a great thing to do.

And then last point here, take them to the Bible so that they learn that the authority that you have and the authority that they also should have is God's word.

Resist the urge to apply your parental authority in making them believe the truth.

Help them even as young children to be like the Bereans who search out the scriptures to see if these things are true.

So I just am a big supporter of having the Bible open with your kids and helping them see from the scriptures themselves that this is why we believe the things that we believe.

Because if they just believe it because mom and dad said so and I'm supposed to, well, the day is going to come when they're not under mom and dad's authority in the same way.

Right?

And so they may have more questions about whether they should continue believing these things.

I mean, it's what mom and dad said, but I don't know if I should.

But boy, if you start from the beginning and you help them realize this is all.

The only reason I believe this is as your parent is because this is the teaching of God's word.

Well, then it's far more likely they will get it.

You know, that this is the word of God.

If I turn away from this, I'm turning away from God's very word.

That's a sober thing.

So help them understand that's your authority.

That's the authority they should have as well is the word of God.

Okay, so starting with the head single most important thing we could do, especially in their younger years and ongoing.

I mean, this is something that never ends.

It's an ongoing importance for all of our lives.

But then secondly is heart move eventually to the level of the heart and brace of the truth.

The heart's engagement with truth, loving the truth is necessary for the hands activity in applying that truth, living the truth.

So loving the truth provides the possibility in the basis for living the truth.

So just a few thoughts here on this, you know, this, this transition from head to heart, so as, as truth, the truth of God gives us as meant to travel first into our heads, but then it must, if it accomplishes what God sent it to do, it must impact our hearts.

And that's where real change takes place.

That's where character formation takes place.

This is where renewal takes place.

So first bullet point there in time, the heart becomes the key issue.

Not only do they know the truth, but do they feel the weight and sense the personal significance of that truth.

So I think, you know, as they grow older, you can talk with them about what do you think about this truth?

You know, you mean it could be gospel truth even, you know, well, what do you think about the fact that Jesus, you know, gave his life for you and shed his blood on the cross.

And you could talk about gospel aspects.

You could talk about different attributes of God.

What do you think about this attribute of God that, that speaks of his omnipotence, you know, his power and, and his wisdom.

Any thoughts you have about those things.

So just see if you can draw out from them a sense that there is a, an affective response to that as well.

Beyond yeah, I know what, what God's power is.

Yeah, I get that.

More than just in the intellectual thing, are they beginning to see something of the, the wonder, just a hint of beginning to see what is worthy of our adoration because of this, right?

So you work with them at that help, help them understand really that's the goal in this is to begin to see those things.

And it doesn't come easy and it doesn't come readily.

And of course it has to happen only as the Holy Spirit does work in their hearts.

So second point, pray fervently that God would work in their hearts and help them see not only the truthfulness of the truth, but also the glory and wonder and beauty of that truth.

So of course the first thing you're praying for in them is their conversion, right?

I mean, you, you realize everything depends upon regeneration.

You think, for example, in first Corinthians two verse 14, the, the natural man, referring to a person who does not have the spirit of God doesn't understand the things of the spirit.

Their foolishness to him, he can't, he cannot accept them because they're there of the spirit.

And so you realize, boy, they really desperately need the Holy Spirit to regenerate them and awaken in their hearts the truths of the gospel that they embrace on their own.

But then having believed, boy, then, then the spirit is at work in them.

And there's hope of growth in becoming people whose hearts are changed as their heads are informed, right?

So the hope of that happening, of that taking place.

The last little bullet point there is help them learn at a young age, Thomas Chalmers' principle of the expulsive power of a new affection.

I can just tell you this.

I really wish I had learned this much earlier.

I learned this as an adult.

I don't know how long ago, it's been a long time, but, but I didn't know this when I was growing up and I so wish I had, which someone had told me this truth because it's just glorious.

Thomas Chalmers was a Scottish politician who became a pastor in the 18th and 19th centuries.

That is, he bridged those two and he preached many, many sermons.

He has a pastor, but the one sermon that he is most famous for is a sermon entitled the Expulsive Power of a New Affection.

And in this sermon, he makes the point at the beginning of it that if you want to see love of the world, expulsed, the expulsive power, if you want to see love of the world, you know, the pleasures of what the world offers you, if you want to see those expelled from your life, it will not work.

It will be unsuccessful to just convince yourself how bad those things are in the world and tell yourself, oh, it'll harm me.

It'll harm my family.

It'll harm, you know, it'll ruin my career, whatever the case might be.

It'll be really bad for me if I continue in that or continue to love those things.

He said the problem is, yeah, you can push those things out at first because of the negative effects those will have on your life.

But because they have left you empty, right?

You push them out and you're left empty, then what you're going to want to do is be full again, right?

And of course you were full before by going to those things.

And so what will you do?

You'll go back to them again.

So the only effective way to remove love of the world from your life is to take into your life a greater love, a deepened affection, right?

For something else that is greater and better and so compelling that it pushes out the love of the world.

But notice it leaves you full, not empty with something better.

So imagine if I had a glass up here and I have that glass full of water, you know, there's two ways you can remove water from a glass, two fundamental ways you can remove water from a glass.

One is you can empty the glass.

You could drink the water, you could pour it out, you could siphon it out, you could let it evaporate.

I mean, there's just lots of different ways you could remove water from a glass and that glass would be empty when you're done.

Now glasses, to my long time experience, do not mind being empty, right?

I mean, we've got glasses at home, don't we, honey?

At the top of our cabinet in the dining room there that have not seen a drop of water for probably the full 25 years we've lived in our house.

And you never walk by that China cabinet and hear those glasses screaming out, fill me, fill me.

You know, you just did doesn't happen.

They don't mind being empty, but people do.

We mind being empty.

So here's the other way you could remove water from a glass.

You've got a full glass of water.

You can pour into that glass something heavier, weightier, richer, denser than water.

And as you fill that glass with something better, richer, denser, the water gets expulsed, right?

The expulsive power.

So here's the difference though.

In the first method, emptying the glass, you leave it empty.

In the second method, when you've removed the water, you leave the glass full, full of something greater than was there before.

So I just think, boy, help your children learn what they're missing out on, right?

I have come that you might have life and have it.

Oh, just a little bit.

Is that what Jesus said?

I don't want you to have too much now.

Uh-uh.

Not, not, not too much joy.

Be careful now.

Is that what Jesus said?

Are you kidding?

I have come that you might have life and have it abundantly.

These commandments I give to you that my joy may be in you and your joy may be made full.

Wow, the promise of God throughout the Bible.

It's just incredible.

It's just mind boggling to people who deserve none of it.

Offering to them, you know, so much fullness and richness and satisfaction from Him if they will but look to Him for it, right?

So indeed, this is Paul's point.

I take Thomas Chalmers message seriously, the expulsive power of a new affection.

I think it is expressed beautifully in Philippians chapter 3.

Philippians 3 · chapter mention

You know, Paul says, whatever things were gained to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ.

And for, you know, for Paul, those things that were gained to him were huge.

You know, Hebrew of Hebrews, you know, as to the law of Pharisee and, you know, tribe of Benjamin.

You know, I mean, these were huge things that for Paul signaled his importance, signaled his identity, you know, showed everybody else how significant it was that he had these qualifications, right?

Those things that were gained to me, I consider as loss for the sake of Christ.

More than that, I consider all things to be lost.

But all things to be lost in view of the surpassing value, richer, denser, weightier, better, more fulfilling, more satisfying.

Paul, don't you want your, don't you want to know that and live it?

Don't you want your kids to get this?

So they can have this ammunition, this Thomas Chalmers principle as ammunition to fight against the whole of this world for their affections.

We need this.

We all need this.

Our kids need this because there's a battle going on out there.

Yes, for their minds.

That's true.

So, you know, we could go back to that again.

You've got to get the mind understanding the truth of God correctly, but there's a battle for their hearts too in this culture.

So God help us.

Okay, moving on.

Hands move to the level of the truths effect on their hands and the application of God's Word.

The hands applying the truth, living the truth is what makes possible the transformation of others in our cultural environment transformed by the truth.

So you're affecting our habitat as it were.

So help them bullet point number one, help them with hands on application of the truth that they learn and grow to love.

Help them think through various areas of their lives to see what these truths mean to how they live and relate to others.

Don't assume they'll just get it.

You know, I mean, most of us as adults don't just get it, you know, to see how the application takes place.

We've got to think about these things.

What does this mean in my relationship to so and so and in this conversation I've had with someone else and the like.

So don't just assume they'll get it, get them started in thinking about how the truth of God's words needs to be lived out in their lives.

So you know, their relationships with their siblings.

What does this mean in terms of how a brother and a sister talk to each other?

How about a sister and a sister, a brother and a brother?

How does this work, you know, in terms of sibling relationships?

The kinds of things that siblings can say to each other to put each other down.

Oh my, it's just not healthy.

Just isn't.

You know, our home we established, until they got old enough to know how to handle sarcasm, because sarcasm, you know, it often has a barb to it, right?

It has, it's a weapon often.

So we just established a rule in our home when the kids were little, no sarcasm.

We're not going to tolerate it.

You know, not until you're old enough to use it in a way in which it's a loving thing to tease somebody about something, right?

So in any case, what is this truth that you claim to know, that you know, and that you grow to love, what does that mean in your relationships with your parents?

How you talk to your mother, how you talk to your father, the chores that you're asked to do in the house and, you know, and the different responsibilities that you're given.

What about with your friends?

Friends at school, friends in the neighborhood.

What about with people indeed?

How do you respond to that?

So help them think through these truths and how that applies to the different situations of their lives.

Really kind of entered their life, become a second grader again, you know, in your mind and help them think, what does that mean in terms of relationships that they have and responsibilities they have, school work that they're supposed to do, and you know, all those different kinds of things.

And the truths of the Christian faith are impacting, affecting how they should live that out in relation to those kinds of things.

Next point, here avoid legalism and moralism by helping them see the gospel at work and how they live.

Now here's what I have in mind by that point.

The gospel is not the gospel of behavior modification.

You get this?

The gospel is not the good news of, hey, we can just force our kids to behave the right way and we've done our job.

No, the gospel is the gospel of the transformation of our hearts by the work of the spirit as we put our faith in Christ who forgives us our sin and empowers us to be transformed.

So that outworking of the gospel then means that we do these things.

We work at the hands-on application, not as a matter of behavior modification, but as a matter of trusting God to work in us to give us new desires, new longings, transformed affections, so that we love people that we used to not even want to talk to or whatever the case might be.

We realize, my goodness, God has called me to love my enemies, so I need to love this person.

And so we are transformed from the inside out and show that then in changed relationships with other people.

So it really is a gospel work.

It all is.

It has to be, if it's really of the spirit, if it really is a matter of Christian living, living out the Christian faith, it has to be then a matter of the spirit's work within us to change us, to do those things that God calls us to do.

And indeed the change is necessary.

I preached this past Sunday at my own church in Louisville on Titus chapter 3.

Titus 3 · chapter mention

Titus 3, wow! It's one of the most amazing case studies, that one chapter, in the importance of good works.

But we are not saved by good works.

Both of those things are in Titus 3.

We are not saved by good works, but oh my, my, my, are we saved for good works.

But those good works are the outworking of the inworking of the Spirit of God in our lives.

That's true for you, every Christian adult out there.

Pray that God would, by His Spirit, empower you to grow in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, I think I missed one, self-control, fruit of the Spirit, right, to grow in those things because that's the mark of a true Christian.

What one who is trusted in Christ and by that has received the gift of the Spirit, not, so you know, the gospel is not only the good news of forgiveness of sins in Christ, it's also the good news of transformation of life in Christ.

You know that, don't you?

It's because sin is to us, I'm in a little bit of a tangent here, hang on.

Sin is to us a two-fold problem.

It is both a penalty that we cannot pay and a power we cannot overcome.

So by believing in Christ, the penalty of sin is paid, but the power of sin is broken.

So the Spirit comes within to enable us to change by God's grace.

So indeed, we look to God.

This is not a matter of behavior modification, just making myself be the right thing or making our kids do the right things.

This is a matter of encouraging our kids to trust the Lord, to believe His word, to apply that word to their lives and see the Spirit move upon them to change their attitudes and want to live in ways that are more pleasing to Him.

So indeed.

Okay, capital letter D, habitat.

So then help them see ways in which they can be used of God in transformation of their habitat, that is their environment, people around them, their relationships, through their friendships and relationships as well as in service that they can render.

So two quick bullet points here.

First one is this, do acts of service together, but help them see how these are the outworkings of the truths of God's word and empowered by the gospel.

So it's so good for you in your acts of service when you can to have your children involved with you in part because many hands make lighter work.

That's true, right?

But something much more significant than that.

So they can see your heart.

So by the way, that does mean you don't have them join you and then you go, Oh, I hate doing this, you know, buddy.

Okay, I'm here at the church doing this.

Yeah.

Oh, come on.

Let's let's.

Yeah.

Wow.

Don't lose this opportunity for your kids to see you embrace the opportunity that you have to serve the Lord in a way that expresses joy in doing it.

Right.

I'll give you an example from my childhood.

My dad, every Christmas I knew the day would come when I would hear the words from the top of the stairs.

I lived in a bedroom in the basement for the top of the stairs, Bruce, we're going visiting.

And I go, Oh, okay.

Okay.

So I knew what that meant.

That meant this.

This was, you know, right around December 20th or thereabouts just before Christmas.

My dad had taken the station wagon.

You all know what that is.

Taking the station wagon, gone to a florist and it picked up, you know, about 15 to 20 points that is and put him in the back of the station wagon.

And we spent then the day he would take me with him and he, we would spend the day visiting shut-ins and elderly people in nursing homes and in their own apartments and homes and things like that.

And you know, just 15, 20 minutes with each one, but we'd knock on the door, you know, as soon as they opened the door, you know, we wish you a Merry Christmas or joy to the world, whatever the case might be.

So we sing a song.

My dad was a good singer.

And so, you know, and I'd sing along with him and when I got a little bit older, yeah, he'd have me bring my trumpet along.

And I mean, just think of a young trumpet player.

Okay, Bruce, come on, play Joy to the World for them.

You know, so.

Anyway, so, you know, he just, he wanted me to be involved in this, you know, but I saw in my dad such love for those people.

I mean, later on, he did their taxes for them because he hated the fact that they were getting cheated out by swindlers and all that stuff.

Anyway, my dad just had such a love for older people.

And so I am so glad that he didn't let me off the hook and just do this himself.

He took me with him.

So I saw in him this compassion and this love and this kindness.

And I was shaped by it, you know, and it wasn't, that's just one example of things that I could mention from my dad.

But he was just, he had a generous spirit.

And I just saw, I saw this in him and it impacted me.

So, you know, bring your kids with you when you can on things so they can see your love and your joy and your heart in this.

And they'll go, wow, that's what Christian service is, right?

They'll be trained by that.

But here's the second thing.

Give them freedom to dream and envision how they can be used of God in service to his kingdom.

They may be in ways that don't fit you.

Maybe they're artistic, but you're not, right?

So if you don't let them excel in what they're gifted at, but always, always do just the first point, they're always involved in your service.

Well, then they don't get the opportunity to develop in ways that they're gifted and are suited to them that may not be your gifting at all, right?

So look for those things in their lives and seek to promote it, not just to promote the gif, but promote ways in which this can be used in service, right?

Impacting others to show love and kindness and do things that would be encouraging to other people.

So think in that way as well.

So final thoughts, we're almost done here.

Final thoughts for parents.

The principles of the progression and possession of truth, that is the head, heart, hands, habitat that we've considered are just as relevant for us as for our children.

So a good thing for all of us adults to think about is, do we seek to know and love and live and transform in the ways that we ought to, you know?

And so you could start at the beginning here.

How am I doing in terms of truth input into my mind?

Can I grow in that?

Are there ways in which I can grow in understanding better the truth of God's word?

Could I be a better Bible reader?

Could I be a better reader of good things that would instruct me?

Could I be more faithful in my attendance to church?

Could I, you know, just do things that would better equip my mind in knowing the truth of God accurately, richly, fully?

What about my heart?

How am I doing on that 12-inch connection between head and heart?

How am I doing on that?

Am I seeing the beauty of the truth?

You know, one thing I encourage, I've always encouraged my students that I apply in my own life is when you're doing your Bible reading in the morning, if you do that, I hope you do.

If you do your Bible reading in the morning, don't close your Bible and call it quits unless, until your heart has been impacted by something, something in what you read that morning.

Not just your mind, reminded and informed, but your heart impacted.

So go back and say, Lord, help me see something here that challenges or inspires, convicts or encourages my heart in some way from what I'm there.

And when you see that, just stop and say, oh, Lord, thank you.

Thank you for touching my heart as well as informing my head.

And you can move on that, right?

So I just think that's such an important part because if you do devotions day by day by day by day and never have kind of this sense of wow, the impact of it on your heart, I don't think that's healthy.

I think that establishes a pattern of head only and the rest of it doesn't matter.

And that, again, this is not God's design.

God's design is for truth that goes into our heads to travel to our hearts.

So pray that God would help you do that.

How am I doing on that?

Well, what about, what about how am I thinking carefully about how I live this out in my, in my relationship with my wife, my husband, living out the truths of the Christian faith with my kids?

How am I doing that?

So just think in terms of your own life, you know, first in terms of how you're doing that and then the effect, am I really having a, are my, my kids watch me?

I guess that's the next point.

So let me jump to it.

The second bullet point there.

Do our children see in us a fervency and passion and love for the truth that they will want to emulate children often observe what is caught along with what is taught?

We all know that don't we?

So did your kids see in you a love for Christ?

There's a question, a love for Christ.

You want to honor him.

You want to live in a way that pleases him and that advances his reputation.

Right?

Because really that kind of living that is wanting to see Christ honored, Christ exalted Christ loved Christ adored indicates the spirit is a work in you because what is the spirit come most fundamentally to do?

John 1614, he will glorify me.

Jesus says of the spirit concerning himself.

So the spirit that the chief Mark of a spirit filled person or spirit filled community is they long to see Jesus honored.

They long to see his word respected and followed.

They love to see Jesus character esteemed and so on.

So help your kids be drawn to Christ, be drawn to the Christian faith as they see in you alone for God, a love for Christ, a love for the truth of his word.

And it may be used by God then to impact them in significant ways.

Again, there's no guarantees.

I know that, but in terms of what could be used by the Lord to make that happen more likely, that's an important part of it.

Well, head, heart, hands, habitat, right?

I mean, these, these elements of our kids growth that apply to us as well.

May God help us to grow in ways that we see all of these areas impacted by the power of the spirit and the word of God so that they're growing realities for us.

Let's pray together.

Father, thank you for the privilege we've had this morning to look at things that really matter and how we live life before you.

And Lord, we are so grateful for your word.

We're so grateful for your self revelation that you have made yourself known.

And we long to know you better.

We long to see more of the richness and the fullness and the glory of who you are as our God and your, your work through your son, Jesus, and through the power of the spirit, we long to know more of that.

But Lord, we also long to have hearts that are deeply impacted by that, that see the beauty and the glory.

And you know, we, we smile because we say, wow, this is so great.

God is so great is, is, is the gospel is so good.

And so we're pleased to do this work that our affections are moved and, and may, may our children, Lord be, be impacted in the same kind of ways we pray, Lord, as they come to Christ and as they learn the truth and may you work in their hearts to, to see the beauty and the glory of it as well and live it out.

So Lord continue this good work.

We pray in our lives and in the lives of our children, and we will be quick to give to you alone all the praise and honor and glory because this is all your work.

And we thank you Lord for your commitment to us and your unfailing love for us.

We pray these things now in Christ's name.

Amen.

Would you join me in thanking Dr. Ware?

We're not thanking the man per se as, as an end, we're thanking God really for working through men and helping us, lifting us up.

Parenting is a serious calling.

It is a serious task.

Is it not?

Children are a gift.

Children are a blessing from the Lord, but we need God tremendously to be the fathers and mothers that God has called us to be.

Praise God.

God is a great God.

God is a good God.

We've been shored up in that and I'm thankful for that.

We now have a 15 minute break as per usual.

God bless you.

Thank you.