Reconciliation

Rachel are away somewhere. I know that Dagmar and all are coming back tomorrow. Jeff and

Marie are in down in the US and I forgot the others who are missing. Okay guys,

before we broke off about two and a half weeks ago, we were talking about presence and so we've

continued down that track and today I just want to first remind you of the things we've spoken about.

So first we started off with this premise from Exodus 33 verses 16 and 17 where Moses says to

Exodus 33:16

God, the thing that distinguishes us as a people from all the other nations is your presence.

So that's the first statement we need to remember. What distinguishes us as a people of God from

other peoples who have other gods? It's that in us lives the God of the universe. We carry his presence.

We also said that there's a difference between carrying his presence and manifesting his presence

and that's what we are trying to do through these series of teachings so that we manifest his presence

because people knew that Israel as they walked through the desert had an amazing God in their midst

because of the things that were happening with them. Leave alone the fact that there was a pillar of cloud and fire.

Let's assume you couldn't see that. They could still see quail and manna and other things happening.

So they were aware of his presence. Are people aware of the presence of God in you and I?

Because that's the manifest presence of God and that needs to happen next guys.

I mean I was going through my notes from 2009 onwards and I'm reading some of it. I'm thinking

great there was tremendous revelation but let's get down to the nitty-gritty of now showing God.

Then we said that the primary purpose of the church is twofold and what are they?

Reveal the father and reveal the father's business. The next question is if we are to reveal the father's business

what does the father's business involve and we talked about two things.

To give life, John 10 10 and to destroy the works of the destroyer.

That's how we the primary purpose of the church is to reveal the father and to reveal the father's business.

We reveal the father through a lifestyle where the character of God is evident and we've honed in on that for years at Acts 29.

And then we now come to the next stage where we say we now also reveal the father's business

which is give life and destroy the works of the destroyer. That was the other thing we spoke about.

And then we said that the word presence comes from I'm going to use Roslyn's favorite color now.

The word presence comes from a Hebrew word that sounds something like this and it's the same word for faith.

And we said that when we say that we reveal the father's business we reveal the father's business.

And we said that when it comes to the presence of God when it comes to seeing him face to face

it's one of the hardest habits to cultivate guys. I mean if I went around this room it would be embarrassing starting with me

at how the one thing that we don't cultivate is face to face time with the God of the universe who lives in us

but we've gotten so full of revelation the more you know I find that the less time you are willing to actually spend with God.

The more you know about God the less you think you need to spend time with him.

And so there's this thing that we need to once again come back to guys.

Ask God for a hunger so that you will once again go back to face to face presence time whatever you want to call it.

Father time or presence or seeking his face go back to asking God for hunger because most of us have even lost the hunger.

Hunger will lead to intimacy.

As I begin to hunger after someone I begin to get more intimate with that person because there is a desire that God now births in me.

So Jacob shouldn't you have the desire already? I should but unfortunately because I know so much because I do so much.

I don't necessarily think that seeking his face is any longer as important as it perhaps you might have to do it.

It's a falling away from first love.

One of the things that happens to couples that have been married for a while and it usually happens around the fifth year is that they begin to lose the excited fondness for each other.

And there's a settled well you're around kind of a feeling that happens.

People say it starts around the fifth year if you're not careful the first two years are pretty decent.

How long have you guys been married?

Well good for you.

So hunger intimacy.

Intimacy leads to awareness.

Stop giggling Jason.

Hunger leads to intimacy.

Intimacy leads to awareness.

So the more you're around the more you're going to lose the excitement.

So the more intimate you are with someone the more aware you are of them.

Sorry not awareness.

Intimacy leads to knowledge of the person.

And knowledge leads to awareness of the person.

And awareness leads back to a greater hunger.

And the cycle begins to spin on its own.

So if I were to go around this room and ask whether people in this house actually were able to find deliberate time to love on God to be loved by God this week you'll be surprised at our answer.

We didn't.

Most of us didn't.

I'm not even talking about Bible reading.

I'm talking about a fondness that causes you to locate him in the middle of ten emails, four phone calls.

The fact that I only have one hour to get to where I need to.

The pressures that are put on me by my children, by my spouse, by my work, by church.

In between all that and sleep and just tiredness.

In between all that to locate where the God of the universe is so that once I locate him I can say behold I have come over the hills upon the mountains to you I will run my beloved.

You've captured my heart.

When does that happen guys?

When does that happen for us?

It's become a rarity.

Some days it will be behold you have come over the hills.

Some days it will be and behold I saw an open door in the heavens.

And I heard a voice saying ascend and enter.

Another day it will be and I saw peels of lightning and flashes of thunder.

And in between that I heard a voice speaking to me.

Another day it will be what is your name if you do not tell me your name I will not let you go.

As in wrestling with God.

But unfortunately in this room we have lost out on this.

Go ahead man.

Yeah it does tie in but praise and worship seems limited to a Sunday morning nowadays.

Where is the adoration and if it is not great on you man I've had days of adoration during the last month that were great where it was not necessarily singing but just talking to him and adoring him with words that I've never spoken before.

And then there are days that go by where there is no adoration.

And then there are days that go by where there is no adoration.

And then there are days that go by where there is no adoration.

Guys we need to once again cultivate this habit.

I only have to locate him.

Matt it doesn't.

Surprisingly not when I wake up things on my mind is do I have to wake up.

Secondly I have to do it.

I have to do it.

I have to do it.

I have to do it.

I have to do it.

I have to do it.

I have to do it.

I have to do it.

Second

is

how many cups of coffee in the day.

Third there are so many emails waiting.

Fourth I have got to make this phone call because those countries are at least 12 and a half hours away.

Five but I've got to be here at this time.

And in the process

it's so hard to locate him.

I use the word locate maybe for you it's a different word.

I use the word locate maybe for you it's a different word.

I use the word locate maybe for you it's a different word.

And don't think that because you're retired this will be easy.

And don't think that because you're retired this will be easy.

I'm retired.

In the sense I live like a retired person.

In the sense I live like a retired person.

Roots stop giggling.

Roots stop giggling.

The point being

The point being

I'm re-fired.

I'm re-fired sorry.

Even that doesn't change it.

Even that doesn't change it.

So guys cultivate this.

It's important.

I would so suggest to you that you find this time. Some of us don't even know what I'm talking about

Why because we we have perhaps never engaged in this cycle before I was talking to Jason

I'm asking him. How did your week go Jason and Jason said it's been super busy

Entire week has gone by and he hasn't found this time. I

I

Have weeks like this when I'll prepare a sermon using what I need to read from the Bible

But this is completely missing the thing is I can go on like this for almost a year

Without you knowing it because I've done this for so long. I

Can choose to get out of this not participate in it and yet for one year I can

Continue through what I know not out of a vibrant relationship with God because I've been doing this so long for some of you

It's the same you've been doing it for so long. This isn't as important. This should increase as we grow older shouldn't it?

The older we get in the Lord the grip the greater this

Should become and so I encourage us to cultivate this I'm saying to you as

Seasoned Christians. It's one of the hardest habits to cultivate

And if you have gotten the hang of it

I'm saying to you your life is doing much better than perhaps my life because I am not consistent in this yet

Guys so today we're going to talk about this is just a sum up what we already did

today, we're going to talk about the characteristics of

Or the outworking of its manifest presence if its presence is in us here are some characteristics or

some outworkings of

What will happen if his presence dwells in us which also means then that if these

Characteristics are absent. It means that the presence of God in me is shrouded as in its veil

If the presence of God is in a people these characteristics must be manifested

These outworkings must be manifested and so here is the list of them. The first one is reconciliation

Meaning if the presence of God is in a people these are a people who are

reconciled and do not have a problem in

reconciling things

to prosperity

Three fear of God as in a reverence for God

Four fearlessness as in boldness

Five signs and wonders

Six zeal

As in a strength that comes from the very

Muscle of God the zealous

That doesn't define it exactly but its strength mixed with an enormous

Single-eyed passion

Seven reproduction as in

Its reproduction is a combination of

Multiplying as a numerical growth and multiplying after its kind

Made in his image we multiplied after his kind then Adam came along and then

Genesis 5 says and then they were born in his kind. So when I say reproduction, I mean the ability to increase

Not just in numbers, but in numbers that look like him

Eight

Liberty as in freedom

Because where the Spirit of God is manifest there there is tremendous freedom individually and corporately and nine

Dominion as in the ability to rule

Or have

Dominion over which is the initial Genesis 1 mandate and so there are these nine

Things that we'll be looking at over the next nine weeks, hopefully

Taking each one and saying if

God is present in a people these characteristics should be outworked in this people

Some of these you may already have in your life

That's awesome

I was talking to somebody and

We were talking about James and I was saying one of the things that I see present in James's life is

Boldness or a degree of fearlessness when it comes to voicing things

Now I'd like to increase in that but there will be other areas in James's life where he needs to increase

Same with you. These are already present and some of them are prevalent in your life. Others are dominant

But this is what gives the world a look at our shucks

These people have a distinct flavor because the god of the universe dwells in them

Any questions before we go on?

Any questions before we go on

Okay

Guys when it comes to reconciliation first thing that we already know is that god did reconcile us and

There are three parts in a sense to the what he did

and one he was our

atonement and so

His atonement as in taking the wrath of god his atonement

Satisfied his atonement satisfied

The justice of god

His atonement satisfied the justice of god then there's redemption

All these were worked out on the crosser and then there's redemption

His redemption ransomed us

From

Hell

Death

Sin

Satan

Sickness

His

Redemption danger false doctrine we can throw in a few other things and then finally there's his reconciliation

Which raises us

To the privilege

To the high privilege

Of being sons of god

Thank you for that loud hallelujah

So the atonement

Satisfied the justice of god

By his being able to pour out his wrath on someone human who deserved to die

redemption

Ransomed us from hell from death from sin from satan from sickness and we can add a few more

But here was a ransom that is paid and reconciliation

now brings us back to our original position

With god where god through christ reconciles

The entire world takes away the hostility takes away the enmity and raises up once again

To that high privilege of being the sons of god because when you read

Luke and the genealogy of jesus, how does it end?

It says and adam was the son of

god

Raises up back to that place now guys. It's all day

This is the intent

But this doesn't happen till these two are done

Till you recognize christ as your atonement until you recognize him as the redeemer

There is no reconciliation

Even though god reconciled the whole world to himself through christ

Amazing what he is doing. He wants to bring creation back to its original place

And what is that original place the place of being the sons of god?

That's his intent

Back to where adam used to be

And so he reconciled the entire world through christ and yet

But unless you recognize his atonement and recognize him as redeemer there is no

reconciliation

So, how do you define reconciliation? I know we've talked about this before how do you reckon define reconciliation?

When you when you say to reconcile what do you mean?

To reconcile is to balance a ledger

To reconcile is to balance the ledger

So if there are two columns, there's a mutual change in both columns till there is harmony

Let me say it again to reconcile is to balance the ledger

So if there are two columns, there's there's mutual change in both columns till they are in harmony

So let's assume in one column is guilt and hostility

Now god mutually adjusts it so that he removes the debt of guilt and hostility and

Credits you with the friendship of the father think of how ridiculous this thing is on one hand

He removes the debt of guilt and hostility

And then he credits you

With the friendship of the father. That's what happens in reconciliation

That's what happens in reconciliation

Colossians 1 21 and 22 Colossians 1 21 and 22

Here's what it says

Here's what it says

And you who were once alienated and hostile in mind doing evil deeds

He has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death

In order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him

Let me read that again and you who once were alienated and hostile in mind doing evil deeds

He has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him

Here's what's happening guys in reconciliation god becomes the auditor

And he audits god becomes a debtor

And god becomes a penalized payee

So god is the auditor he audits and finds there's a

Problem he also takes on the role of the debtor who now has a debt to pay and who cannot pay and therefore

He also plays the role of the penalized payee who now has to pay at any cost and in the process

You now have the columns adjusted so that you come into a place where the friendship of the father is credited to you

This is a permanent thing for us guys

Permanent thing for us

Got to understand this because some of us are thinking as we are talking about this. Well, I know i'm saved

No, well, I know i'm saved but look at what had to happen for the saving to happen

You know guys the knowledge of what god has done informs our talking our witnessing our everything

Otherwise we get stuck in a rut and we say the same thing over and over again

And I was thinking that for for jesus christ, I mean this is god i'm thinking of just me being accused

Of being shamed and how not to react requires a degree of nothingness, but here is god

He walks on the earth and he must have been so much more than a human being

But here is god he walks on the earth and he must have been so nothing in his heart to be accused

Stripped shamed beaten like a thief crucified and yet he says nothing man like a sheep being taken silent

Silently to his share

How does how we react when we are accused and shamed and stripped of our dignity? It's like how could that happen to me?

Isaiah 54 17 father let your vindication come

We get so riled up sometimes and yet here is god himself being accused

shamed stripped beaten like a thief and hung like a murderer and

He goes to the cross silent as a

Sheep before its shearers

You got to be really nothing to be able to take that without reacting man

After all these years this thing this person called jesus still fascinates me

In these things he does what kind of man was even

For the joy that is set before him endured

Even though so unjust doesn't say a word

Any questions before we go on we won't finish this today

So i'll go on for another 15 minutes and stop and then continue next time

Any questions?

Sure

Sorry

Sorry

Yeah, i'm just using it because it's scripture yeah

Oh, sorry to the slaughter yeah, so uh, maybe middle eastern sheep are different

Um

Canadian sheep are like us very individualistic and we have an identity and we have rights and we have the sheep lawyer and

We have the sheep union but in the middle east sheep

just go

Sheep are just sheepish. Yeah

Anyways, it's scripture. So i'll hang with it and then

Maybe three weeks from now jason will give you

The real history behind the hebrew sheep

Um

guys reconciliation

We talked about reconciliation with god and i'm not

Going down that road much because most of us understand it

But now talk about balancing the ledger sheet between you

And me you and your spouse

You and friends

you and people

We rarely talk about forgiveness in this church because it's a given

But because we are talking about these being characteristics of the manifest presence of god in us

Let's go down that road guys at the end of the day the way to balance ledgers between people is forgiveness

Forgiveness is the pathway to balancing the ledger

Forgiveness is the pathway to balancing the ledger or to reconciling

Forgiveness is the pathway because what does forgiveness do?

It deals with debts that people owe us

forgiveness deals with debts

That people owe us forgiveness deals with debts that people owe us

So

If if there is a debt that you owe me in terms of an explanation in terms of an apology

Forgiveness deals with that debt

Therefore it's a pathway to reconciliation because reconciliation takes a column of debt debt and

Reconciled the ledger is made good

Yeah

Yeah

Yeah

Yeah, we will probably

I think we'll get to that part today and then see if

Yeah, physically done

I think we'll get to that in the next 15 or 20 minutes

But I may not be able to complete the second half, but let's see if your question is answered then great

Otherwise, you can ask it again

Guys Matthew 18 23 to 25

Matthew 18 23 to 25

Matthew 18

Therefore the kingdom of heaven

May be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants when he began to settle one was brought to him

Who owed him 10,000 talents and since he could not pay his master ordered him to be sold with his wife and children

And all that he had and payment to be made so the servant fell on his knees imploring him

Have patience with me and I will pay you everything and out of pity for him

The master of the servant released him and forgave him the debt guys the point being that

Forgiveness is a core kingdom value

Forgiveness is a core kingdom value. Jesus is here talking about a parable about the kingdom of god and in the

In the parable he establishes the fact that listen guys if you say you're kingdom people Jacob, then show me

Any area of unforgiveness in your life towards someone in the church or outside amongst your relatives relatives or towards your spouse?

And there is a lack of the manifestation of the kingdom in that area. It's a core kingdom value

And strangely enough there is room at the cross for rapists and murderers

And yet there is no room for victims who refuse to forgive strange

There's room at the cross for rapists and for murderers and yet there is no room at the cross for some of us who have been victims of

Abuse victims of hurt. There's no room at the cross for victims who refuse to forgive

That's how core this value of forgiveness is in the kingdom

Even and notice we are victims and yet there's no room for us at the cross when we refuse to forgive

And yet there is room for rapists and murderers

And

Unforgiveness if you read that parable further

Will show that unforgiveness will

result in tormentors

Having the legal right to inflict us and to ravages unforgiveness

Gives legal right to tormentors

Who now have the right to come and inflict or ravage us i'm turning this one on mat

Matt yeah

Unforgiveness results in tormentors having legal right to inflict and ravage

I mean, it's ridiculous. But just think of how many of us christians are caught in this trapper

We harbor anger and withhold mercy from another and yet we seek god for healing

And expect to be healed

We harbor

Anger and withhold mercy

From people sometimes spouse to spouse and yet seek god for our healing and expect healing

Surprise that sometimes these things are not working out because i'd suggest to you not suggest the bible strongly says that listen

When you are unforgiving jacob tormentors have now a legal right to inflict and ravage you

It seems so unfair. Absolutely, but then even the cross was such an unfair thing

I mean

Sometimes the reason I refuse forgiveness is because my pain is greater

than

The sonship and the love and the great favor and forgiveness I have received from god and that's absolutely possible. Eh, it's odd but

Sometimes because I don't realize how much i've been forgiven

My pain is sometimes greater than the forgiveness i've received and it's I find it very difficult than to release somebody

You can tell me all the stuff about hasn't jesus forgiven you. Yeah. Yeah, he's forgiven me

But you have no idea what this person did to me

Sometimes our pain is greater than the undeserved forgiveness the undeserved sonship the undeserved

Love and the great favor that i've received received from god and it's very possible to be in that situation

Jesus made the statement. He said jacob. I pray that you

Understand how much you've been forgiven so that you can forgive others

Guys whenever the pain or the offense is the focus know that it's going to be very hard for you to forgive cleanly

Even when I hear testimonies and I hear these testimonies often i've read books about this often

Written by people who were abused or who were hurt and you will find that the focus of the testimony or the focus of the book

Is on the offense and the abuse that was committed to them

Out of a 90 page book 60 pages is on the offense and the abuse and I would say to you

That in their life, it's perhaps still a scab that is waiting to be pressed open

So when people come up and give testimony and they say

How they were hurt how they were abused how this was done to them how that was done to them

If that takes up the meat of a testimony

I would suggest to you that it's still a scab that is just waiting to be priced open by some more pressure

Because as long as my focus is on the pain or the offense

invariably

Feelings will rise up again that have to do with unforgiveness

I'm not saying that forgiveness minimizes the hurt i'm saying that it chooses not to focus on it

So when someone wrongs me and I have to forgive them

I mean, I remember something that happened

This year and surprisingly through someone in acts 29

I remember going home and saying to the lord father

I've got to come to church tomorrow and you know how resentful I am right now with what was said

And you've got to help me

Not even focus on this because if I do tomorrow I might use the pulpit as a bully pulpit

And I don't want to and it's surprising. I've got to get away

Because i've got to take away the focus from the resentment and the anger I feel

Because if I do then sunday morning when I come here and I look at you I will use

The pulpit to bully you

Or some words will come out of my mouth that are meant to actually affect

you

Emotionally

Yeah

Yeah

When I say focus, I mean that incident that happened to me. It's reliving it again and reliving it never heals me never heals me

so even in counseling

And ministry and conversation and testimonies don't necessarily encourage a person to relive

The abuse done because it does not necessarily helping them get over it if anything

it's

Yeah

Perhaps the first time but what happens in christian circles is we make them go over it again and again and again and again every time

Yeah

Yeah, and that should be

Yeah

Yeah, and that should be drawn out. But once it's drawn out, we don't need to go over and over it again

Different. Yeah. Yeah, not a standard approach. I think the first I mean

We may not get there today

But one of the things that is required is confrontation of an issue so that it can be brought out into the light

Because things flourish in darkness

So the first time it needs to be brought out into the light but not relived in the limelight again and again

guys forgive sorry, go ahead

Yeah, yeah

Yeah

Yeah, and that's because the focus is again on the same thing yeah, i'll forgive you but I won't forget it

Yeah

Yeah

And I think this part will deal with it when we talk about forgiveness what it actually means guys

Forgiveness is not based on the merit of the offender

As in it has nothing to do with with whether the offender is sorry or not

It has nothing to do with it

Because that's an issue that the world always challenges christians on because you see something heinous happening to a christian

And the christian forgives and and the world says

But how can you just forgive this is like a free ticket and yet forgiveness is not based on the merit of the offender

It has to be given before it's asked

Strange but it has to be given before it is asked and you might think no jacob. That's not right

Romans 5 8 says that while we were yet

sinners

It is appropriated or received by the person only if he asks for it, but it cannot be held till the person asks

When when this situation happened

At axe 29 the person perhaps was unaware of it or perhaps wasn't going to come and talk to me about it

But that doesn't mean that I now hold on to it till the person comes in

Asks I got to release it immediately the sooner I release it the less toxic I'll become

Otherwise i'm done for man if I was to wait for someone to ask or if you were to wait till I asked you for forgiveness

What if I don't?

so

So it has to be given before it is asked while we were yet sinners romans 5 8 says

jesus christ

Died for us, so it's freely given and this is the hard part without strings attached

unconditional

Regardless of whether what they did is acknowledged or not regardless of whether they confess to it or not

Regardless of whether they repent or not

They appropriated only when they begin to

Ask for it or only when they begin to

Acknowledge it, but we give it without any

strings attached

So what am I doing? Here's what i'm doing guys when you do me harm when you hurt me

Here's what i'm doing. I'm giving up my right. I'm rejecting the right to settle scores

I'm rejecting the right to humiliate you

I'm rejecting the right to punish you

I'm rejecting the right to hold a grievance against you

What a ridiculous people these are these people must be a people in whom god dwells because no one else can do that

Even our

Laws which are supposedly based on the bible are based on old testament ways of doing things

I for an eye tooth for a tooth capital punishment all we can always go to scripture and find a basis for that

But then here is a people who now have god living in them

Who who have a very different standard when they are hurt and offended when they are abused and betrayed

They reject the right

Even perhaps an old testament biblical right to punish to humiliate to continue to hold the grievance

to

to

Settle scores. We reject that right. We don't go eye for an eye or tooth for a tooth

You see why reconciliation then becomes such a powerful display of the care of the outworking of the presence of god enough people

And in the process I now demolish any platform on which I can build bitterness

I demolish any platform whereby tomorrow I can come and look for faults in you

I demolish any platform for hostility towards you

And I demolish any platform for a host of diseases that come with unforgiveness

So i'm collapsing this platform in my life because if I allow it to be built and it's built

Because if I allow it to be built and it's built piece by piece as I let it

Go on for a while as I do that now what happens is

In my life this platform is being built for bitterness for hostility for tomorrow having an attitude towards you and for a host of diseases

Oh, by the way, a short interruption before I go on

From now on when new people come

I've appointed tavis to

To

Direct them to their chairs and tavis will also let them know where the washrooms are because when new people come

Sometimes they don't know where the washrooms are and tavis will also let them know where the

Offering boxes so that's his responsibility. So you may find him at the door and

If you need help in these three areas in terms of the washrooms in terms of where the offering box is or finding a seat to sit

Tavis that's become tavis's responsibility. You're okay with that, right tavis?

Yeah, so because we saw how well he did when we had the

The first banquet at himalaya he and jason was standing there and after some time

I saw that jason wasn't doing anything. He was just standing there, but tavis was directing all the guests to the chairs

So I thought it's a good responsibility to have

I love this liner and I was thinking of it this morning that this is something

So true of God and me and how this has to be the same with other people forgiveness is a power

To free the offender from the offense

Forgiveness is the power just one thing James forgiveness is the power to free the offender from the offense

And not punish them or prove them wrong

Forgiveness is the power to free the offender from the offense and not punish them or prove them wrong. Go ahead

Yeah, very true. That is also, bitterness rises up in my heart. Yeah. And so, it, and

when bitterness rises up in my heart, my usual desire is, I wish there was some way to humiliate

this person or to bring them down a notch or to cause them some harm that will diminish them.

That is a problem with bitterness. When I'm bitter with you, I want to put you back and put you in a

place where you are demeaned. And when I can't do that, then my only option is use sarcasm,

use words, use actions that will somehow humiliate you or punish you or extract a pound of flesh.

And if I don't get an opportunity for that, now it begins to build in me. Pardon? Yeah,

totally. Which is why I need to eliminate it early. In a sense, guys, forgiveness is really

God's action. Because what did we say? Graces. Grace is God giving himself to us bountifully,

joyfully, and mercifully, even though we don't deserve it. And somehow when I am not going to

hold on to what you have wronged me in, I'm participating in the action of God, where instead

of hostility, I'm through the vehicle of kindness, beginning to offer you bountifully, joyfully,

and mercifully. Undeservedly, I'm offering you not unkindness, but kindness. A very hard thing to do.

Guys, I mean, when I look at my life, it's been easy to forgive people because all that has

happened in my life is people who have said things nasty, treated me nasty. But I haven't had betrayals

like spousal betrayal or my parents doing me harm or my siblings doing me harm. I haven't been through

that. But know this, that at the end of the day, if Maurice carries in his heart any resentment or

unforgiveness against his sister, if you as a spouse carry in your heart resentment against the

other spouse, these things are such toxic buildups. Because if you don't forgive trespassers, you

accumulate garbage.

I'm not speaking out of experience. I'm just speaking out of what I know from the word and from other

people's experience. The thing is to guard my heart against the root of bitterness. We are offended

enough at what we hear on Fox News and CNN, so that Christians begin to hate Obama. How silly is that?

How many times do I keep forgiving? Lamech said that if he was harmed, he would murder or avenge

people 70 times seven in Genesis 424. Jesus takes that and reverses it on its head. He says if you

are done harm, Lamech said he would hurt people 70 times seven, you are to forgive them 70 times

seven. And I know I've displayed this before, but just to refresh our memory, if every time I ask him for a glass of

water, he comes and gives me the glass of water, but whenever he gives me, I hit him. The first time I hit him,

he'll say, all right, it's okay. I ask him for another glass of water. He brings me another glass of water.

Again, I hit him. Third time he's smart. Third time I ask him for a glass of water, he'll come. He doesn't

throw it at my face. He comes and leaves the glass of water here and he stays about a feet and a half away

from me because he can still give me the glass of water, but he will not be foolish enough to give it from

within a radius of one and a half feet. He'll stay outside that radius because he'll still give me the glass

of water, but he will not choose to get slapped again unnecessarily. Twice is enough. You only have,

Jesus said, give the other cheek. Two cheeks are enough. That's all. After that, no more cheeks to give.

Guys, there's a process to reconciliation. I thought I would stop. Let me finish this, guys. Otherwise,

half finished next time will be difficult. I'm sorry it's going to take 10 minutes. Reconciliation, the

process of reconciliation, be it in a body or be it between individuals. There's a process for forgiveness

to be appropriated or to be dished out. We have to go through these four stages, guys, which we prefer

avoiding because these are not fun. Confrontation, confession, restitution and restoration.

I'm hoping that this church will always use this method for things within the corporate body and that

you will try and use this in your man-to-man relationships and even God and man deal like this. See,

forgiveness and reconciliation must precede prayer and praise. Matthew 5.23 says, if you know that

your brother has something against you, before you come to the altar, go sort out things with him. Not

even that if you have something against your brother. If you think your brother has something against

you, it becomes your responsibility. These are the four steps, be it in this church or be it in God

and you and be it in man and man. Confrontational requires us to understand that sin is not a private

matter. Sin is not a private matter. We have made it a private matter, but sin is not a private matter.

If I am aware of a sin in your life, not by guesswork, not by hearsay, but either through seeing it

or through knowing it, but God has very clearly said it, then sin is no longer a private matter and I

need to come and talk to you about it as you do me. So now that I confront you with it, and it should

be so because the church belongs to Christ who is light and the church is called the pillar of truth.

I love the word, one of the Greek words for truth which is aletheia, which means non concealment.

I love it. Non concealment. What a life to live. Non concealment. Where now that you know that

there is an area of darkness that exists, if I'm aware of it, then I need to come and confront you

with it. And this is one of the things that we are fortunate in because we are small because you can't

do this on a large scale because we don't have time for it. And the Holy Spirit will convict and

confront me on my sin usually through people or through the word, one or the other. Many times

people have come up to me and confronted me on sin. Roland has, Eddie has, Michael Scantleberry has,

Jeannie has, some of you, once or twice you have, to confront me on sin. This is a privilege we have

in a small church like this. Don't shirk away from it when it happens. Once that happens guys,

we then go on to confession. Confession is admission and agreement that yes there is a

problem. And without that ability to agree and admit and acknowledge it, there is no transformation

really. So why even wait for confrontation? One of the things I really liked about Eric is that in a

certain situation, Eric was having a problem and I was going to take him with me to a place and before

even going there, he said, Jacob, I need to talk to you. And he came and said, I've got a situation

and a problem in this area and I need you to know it ahead of time and I want to bring it into the

light because I want it to lose its power. I would have never known, but the reason he brought it up

to the surface and exposed it is so that it would lose its power. I thought to myself, that's nuts,

man. Even I wouldn't dare do that if it was hidden. I prefer it being hidden. This doesn't mean we come

up in front of the church every Sunday with a confession time and wear our heart out on a sleep.

That can be disastrous sometimes. I've done that and it's very disastrous. I went up, I know I told

you this before, but I went up to the pastor of a church just before he goes over to preach and I

confess to him publicly in front of the church that I really hated him. This was 20 years ago. It just

didn't do him any good, nor did it do the church much good. I know if you look at the mistakes I've

made, it was very satisfying for me. It was like, now I can enter into worship easily because my

guilt is over. I just hung an albatross on his neck, man. That's the intent of not confessing

publicly, but sometimes if you're struggling with an area, and I do it every so often with some of

these guys I've mentioned, where I'll go and say I'm struggling with this area. I remember coming

back from a trip, struggling in a certain area, and I remember telling Eddie about it. The beautiful

thing was Eddie says, Jacob, I used to have the same struggles, and then he told me how he overcame

it. It was the first time I'd admitted something to Eddie without him having to pull it out or him

having seen it. It really helped. Sometimes you do that, confess your sins one to another, or talk

to the set man or the pastor or someone that you trust is operating at a level, hopefully spiritually

at a place higher than you. This is not accountability. I do not believe in this accountability stuff,

where you and I sit every week and you tell me your sins and I tell you my sins. It's disastrous.

I think I told you that too, where I'd sit with this guy and he was married and he'd tell me such

terrible sins that by the third week I started inventing sins, man, because I was beginning to

feel bad that he would say, and what about you, Jacob? And mine would be stuff like, oh, I set a

white light this week. And I realized this guy is not feeling encouraged, so I started fabricating

sins so that he would feel that, okay, at least he's with... And then I confess that line. So it was

quite a painful thing. Moving on. Then comes restitution. This is a hard thing. Restitution is

when you deal with the fallout of your action instead of walking away from it saying, God has

forgiven me. I'm okay now. This is very difficult. We would prefer burying the past, burying guilt,

and just moving on. I hear this very often from people. Let's start afresh and let's start to visit

the past. You cannot start afresh without dealing with the past. Spouses do this too. The question

may arise, should I tell the guy I'm marrying about all my affairs? It depends on situation

to situation. That's not up for discussion right now. It's beyond the scope of what we're doing

here. But generally, the question, the thing that happens between people is they've sought God's

forgiveness and it's taken care of. And now it is like, let's move on. Let's start on afresh.

And you still haven't dealt with the issues of the past and you cannot move on. Restitution needs

to deal with the fallout of your action. I remember learning this very early where I told this person,

I'm really sorry and all this stuff. The person said to me, so what about all the debris that

you've left in your wake? And my reaction was, but the past is the past. No, the past is very

present in the lives that you have just disrupted. Now you have to work at setting that right. If I

have stolen money from you, I now need to make restitution. If I have coveted your wife, now I

need to go through a process of discipline where my ways are straightened out. That's not how normal

Christianity works. You can be restored in an instant by some apostle or prophet who will lay

hands and say, the Lord forgives you. Of course he forgives you. But now let there be a process of

discipline and restitution through which a person is brought back into normal. I mean, guys, two

incidents that I want to highlight, one without taking permission from someone in this room. One

is when we had a problem with, when I had a problem with Artie at the coffee shop and he wouldn't even

talk to me. He wouldn't give me coffee. That was the most dreadful thing. For three weeks I had to

go buy coffee beans from other places and it sucked. And so three weeks he wouldn't talk to me. He

would only talk to Heidi. He threatened to lock up the church. And this was around the same time

that the Lord was saying move. And I remember saying to some of you guys that we will not move

till our relationship with this person is restored. And so I would go there even though he wouldn't

talk to me. When he was sick, I would go give him soup. I would buy him things, not to suck up to

him, but to show kindness. Took three months, guys. But in three months the relationship was

restored to better than what it was and then we left. Because how you leave a place is how you

enter the next place. Because you will always reproduce into your new phase what is left,

how you left. I mean, some of you, when you left the last church you were in, you went and spoke to

the pastor of the church and sorted things out. You didn't leave there with any animosity, but you

still went and got blessed and got released. So when you enter this place, you now are blessed.

This is the way, I mean, one of the things I don't like doing and I always have to do is sit with

someone who's left the church and say, okay, so what were the circumstances and why are you here

and how did you leave? I mean, we are a small church. The last thing you should do is that. You

should just invite them by horde saying there's 700 people, they bring 10 more. No, no, no, no.

You can reap a whirlwind if you're not careful. Because how you exit is how you enter. Otherwise,

you just keep infecting your next phase with the same leaven that you had before you left. And only

now it gets worse because the longer you keep leaven, the more it ferments and the more potent

you get. So when you come into a new phase of your life, you're even more toxic than you were if you

didn't exit properly. Unfortunately, many refuse and want a quick fix. And I would suggest to you

that till restitution is complete, keep a healthy arm's length distance from the person who's

refusing restitution with discipline. This is why we've set up Bob Kran and Eddie as two people

that you can go to if I refuse discipline. And finally, restoration where wholeness and forgiveness

is released to the person or to the body or to people in the body because they've gone through

the process of discipline and restitution. Whatever needed to be taken care of is taken

care of. Harm done. I mean, people, churches, they do nasty things to their pastors and then say,

oh, now that the new pastor has come, let's begin all over again. No, what about the guy you messed

up? We got to live out this process of reconciliation because then it becomes a very wavy function. In

all your relationships, begin to think along these lines in terms of these four things in a process.

So let me end with this, guys. Now go home and do what you have heard if there is something

outstanding that needs to be reconciled. We got to be doers, not hearers of the word. So go home

and gather the courage through your time with God to do what you have heard and recall if there is

any situation that needs to be rectified. And remember, the process of restitution is the

hardest part where the harm that I have caused her is forgiven by God and she may have forgiven me,

but the debris that has been left in her life through the harm that I caused her, I now have

to help either clean up or restore. That is the hardest part. Our lives are so interwoven that if

I do her harm, it will affect Heidi and because they live in the same house, it will affect Gisela

and because they're leaders in this church, it will affect you. Amazing, huh? Through one person

doing. We are never isolated situations. What I do to you always affects a few more. Always.

Then I walk a few extra miles till I know that at present there is no chance of them opening the

door. I'll let it be. But I'll go at least two or three times. This is out of practical experience

where I've done others harm, gone again and again and again till they are offended enough to even

open another wound. That's when I back off. Yeah. Guys, if I do you harm and I'm not aware of it,

come and gently confront me with it. Confrontation always has to be gentle. Right? Good. Confrontation

always has to be gentle, but if I have done you harm and I'm usually if I'm not aware of it,

you'll have to come and make me aware and there are so many ways that I may offend you. And when

we talk about we'll see whether there's substance for your offense. Expect this process of reconciliation

to be applied with regard to your personal life and with regard to the corporate body. The other

thing I want you to do is take a copy of the CD and give it to people who need it. Take a copy of

the CD and give it to some people who need it.