That you are my disciples – Part 4

This is all your fault.

Brought a whole lot of stuff from India and everybody is eating it now.

Okay, guys.

Hey guys, we are starting.

Guys, we are starting now.

Hey guys, we are starting.

We are starting now.

The fourth part of what we started quite a while ago, that you are my disciples.

This is the fourth and concluding part.

Because there are four places in the New Testament where Jesus talks about that if you are my disciples, this is what you need to do.

So we have done three and this is the fourth one.

So we go to John 13, John 13, 31 to 35.

John 13, 31 to 35.

John 13, 31 to 35.

This is shortly after Judas leaves when they had sat together at supper.

John 13 starts with Jesus saying that he loved his disciples like crazy and he loved them to the end.

And then he begins to wash their feet and he says, do this just as I have done this for you.

Make sure that you serve people.

Then he sits down and starts eating.

At one point John leans back on him and John asks him, who is it that is going to betray you?

The others are just talking amongst themselves.

But John being one who was really close to Jesus and perhaps a young kid, maybe 15 or 16, leans back on Jesus.

And he asks Jesus one on one, who is it that is going to betray you?

And Jesus says, the one who dips, the one who will, I will give this piece of bread that I'm going to dip and give it to him.

He'll be the one who betrays him.

Only John hears it.

The rest of them are still discussing stuff.

Because when you read the narrative, you see the disciples thinking that perhaps Judas was going because he needed money for the Passover feast and so on.

Only John hears that Judas is the one who's going to betray.

You can imagine what John is feeling.

This is supposed to be a supper where Passover is being celebrated and Jesus has just told him that the man who I gave this piece of bread to is now going to betray me.

And then Judas gets up and he walks out.

And that's the background for the story.

And then it goes on to say in John 13.30, as soon as Judas had taken the bread, he went out and it was night.

Verse 31, when he was gone, Jesus said, now the son of man is glorified and God is glorified in him.

If God is glorified in him, God will glorify the son in himself and will glorify him at once.

When you read it that way, it sounds so archaic that it's hard to understand.

But whenever Jesus talks about his glorification before his death, always see it as an announcement of his departure.

Whenever Jesus talks about his glorification before he goes to the cross, he's always talking about his departure, that I will now be glorified.

God is going to glorify me.

What's he trying to say?

That my time has come.

I'm going to go to the cross.

So he's talking about his departure.

And then he goes on to say in verse 33, my little children, depending on the version, it says, my little children, I will be with you only a little longer.

You will look for me.

You will look for me.

And just as I told the Jews, so I tell you now where I'm going, you cannot come.

Then he gives a new command, a new command I give you.

Love one another as I have loved you.

So you must love one another.

Then the statement that we want to deal with.

By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.

So that's the fourth and the final statement that Jesus makes when it comes to the whole idea of being disciples.

So we see here that something decisive occurs at this meal with the disciples because even in the midst of betrayal.

And imagine this, a man has just betrayed him.

He knows that the man has left.

He knows that Satan entered him.

He knows that he's now heading to set in motion a series of events that last about 15 hours and he will die on the cross.

And yet in the midst of that, he has the ability as fully man to go back into telling his disciples how he requires them to be.

One of the things that happens to us when we read the Gospels is we think Jesus is God.

Therefore, this is so easy.

You must understand that he's exactly like you in this situation.

He's exactly like you in this situation.

The same fears and emotions can ravage him.

The same confusion can ravage him.

The same, I don't want this, can ravage him.

And it begins to come up at the garden of Gethsemane.

Not my will, but yours be done.

The difference between him and me is that it does not ravage him.

He takes charge of it before it gets him.

What happens to us is it gets us.

And then we get dismantled.

Why? Because the purpose and the love for the Father is not present in my heart just like it was in Jesus' heart.

And then he makes a statement and he says to them,

listen, I'm giving you responsibility.

So what's he doing here?

He's giving his disciples a responsibility.

And this is like the last will and testament.

It's like when someone gathers together their friends and their children

just before they're dying and those words matter.

The words that they say then matter.

And so he gives them a responsibility in his absence.

And what is the responsibility?

It's an everyday obligation.

It's an everyday obligation.

It's an everyday obligation.

And what is the obligation?

To love and to serve.

The serve party is already talked about in John 13, 1-3

where he says the whole idea of foot washing was the idea of service.

The whole idea of foot washing was the idea of service.

And so here is the responsibility he commits to them shortly before he goes to the cross.

Listen, you have an obligation that, and it's an everyday obligation,

and your everyday obligation is to love and to serve one another.

And then he says, I'm giving you a new commandment.

A new commandment.

It's not a suggestion.

It's not a good idea.

It's not an option.

He very clearly says it's a commandment.

This is the king of the universe.

The creator of all things.

Your creator.

Today, your Lord and savior.

And he's not giving you a suggestion.

He's not giving me an option.

He's not giving me an idea.

He's saying it's a new commandment.

And so John in particular focuses on this thing more than anybody else.

Paul talks about, Luke talks about the new covenant,

but John talks about this thing.

First John, second John, third John.

The Gospel of John.

All focuses on this new commandment.

That's what just gets John.

And I've said this before, but John was probably a young kid when he joined Jesus,

which is why Jesus probably had an affinity for him and allowed him to be close to him,

took care of him, protected him, because all the others were older.

John was probably young, which is also seen in the fact that when things go wrong,

he calls his mother in to fight.

Only someone young would say, I'll bring my mother to the fight.

And then the mother comes and says, can John sit on the right side and the brother on the left side?

And we also see that John lived the longest.

He was on the island of Patmos and he was about 90 or so.

All the other apostles that died, he was still alive.

So there are reasons why it is okay to suppose that John was someone who had an intimate relationship with Jesus,

partly because he was the youngest and Jesus was protective towards him.

And so the new commandment is a new commandment.

It's not the great and the first.

It is not the great and the first.

What's the great commandment and the first commandment and the second like it?

Matthew 22, 38.

Matthew 22, 38.

Matthew 22, 38.

Verse 36.

Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the law?

Jesus replied, Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul,

with all your mind.

This is the first and the greatest commandment.

That's in Matthew 22, 36 to 88.

Matthew 22, 36 to 38.

And then Jesus goes on to say, and the second is like it,

love your neighbor as yourself.

All the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments.

So there is the great and first commandment, which is love the Lord your God.

And then there is a second commandment, which is like the first, which is love your neighbor.

As yourself.

And now Jesus, just before he leaves the earth or goes to the cross,

brings out a new commandment.

And the new commandment is,

go back to John 13, John 13, 35.

John 13, 35.

And the new commandment is,

a new command I give you,

love one another

as I have loved you.

So love one another.

This is now a new commandment.

And just so you know guys, in John 13, 31, this is just on the side,

sorry, in John 13, 33, he says,

my children, that word, it comes, I mean, it doesn't matter what the Greek is,

that word used there is a word that's only used once in the gospels

and then later on, once by John.

And the word is, my little darlings.

It would be, my little darlings,

it would be what Iris and Derek say to Brielle.

It's the idea of calling a little infant, my little baby,

the stuff that parents do, it's that sense.

So it's not a term that's used generally.

It's my little baby, my little darlings.

That's the sense of the word.

And you need to understand that even though God loves the world,

he loves disciples like a dad loves his baby.

We sometimes have this tendency because we want to be all-encompassing,

all-inclusive.

We say, oh, everybody is God's children.

On one hand, yes, he made them all, but we need to understand

that the way God loves the world is amazing.

He sent his only begotten son, that none may perish, but all may be saved.

But he does not use terms like,

my little darlings, to the world,

that he reserves for those that have become his.

There is a difference.

There is a distinction.

Because nowadays there's a tendency to say,

oh, all of us are children of God.

Not true.

To them that receive him, he gave them the right to be children.

Very clear, John chapter 1.

John 1 · chapter mention

Just keep that in the back of your mind because the place you hold is special.

This is when you say, oh, my little Priya, what happened?

See, she calms down.

See, you can go back and sit down.

You can go and sit down now.

Just go back and sit down.

There you go.

You can go back and sit down now.

Just go back and sit down.

There you go.

Just talk like...

Sorry.

Yeah, die now.

Yeah, die now.

Remember when Jesus at one time says,

do not be afraid, little flock.

It is the pleasure of the Father to give you the kingdom.

The little flock.

That is the sense here.

That my little children, the word actually is technion, which means infant.

My little babies, my little infants.

That's the sense of it.

Boy, when you get to heaven, Jesus will have...

John 13.33.

My darling...

My little darlings, I will be with you only a little longer.

I mean, I feel like I'm corrupting the word, but it's a sense.

It's a sense that you need to carry.

It's like holding a child dear.

Like you would do with Priya.

So here's the things, then, that we need to know about this new commandment.

One, it focuses attention...

It focuses attention not on the neighbor,

not on the neighbor, but rather

on the fellow believer or disciple.

That's huge, eh?

Because usually when we read, we think,

ah, this is just like the other commandments. Love the Lord your God, love your neighbor as yourself.

That is not what Jesus is saying here.

Here he's saying, hey, I want you to love one another, as in,

the focus of attention is not on the neighbor.

It is on a fellow believer.

So these things that Jesus is saying is meant almost exclusively for the church.

Love one another.

He's saying to us, to you, to me, that you need to love each other.

Then he goes on to explain how.

He says, as I have loved you, you need to love each other.

And he's talking exclusively to his people.

This is not the world.

So just to make sure about this,

so the one love who, like, you know, love God,

Yeah, yeah.

It's a new command.

That's why he almost says new command.

So he's not taking away from the first and the greatest,

which is love the Lord your God,

or the second which is like it, which is love your neighbor.

But he says, now I give you a new command.

And because he's going to leave the earth,

and he's leaving the people behind,

this is important.

We don't realize how important it is,

till you begin to look at it.

The second thing about this is,

he bases this command, he bases the command

explicitly on his love,

on his love for his disciples.

And that is based on the father's love for him.

Rami, you want to try it?

Okay, so the second one is,

he bases the command explicitly on his love for his disciples.

He says, listen, I want you to love each other,

but it cannot be the kind of love you think you can love with.

It has to be the same love with which I love you,

that you must love someone else in this body right now.

And that is based on how God loves him.

How the father loves him is how he loves me.

And that is how I need to love you now.

It is not a suggestion.

It is not a life option.

It is not an idea.

It is a command.

And it is a new command.

And it is a new command.

And then the bottom line to this whole thing is,

by this, if you do this, if you love like this,

if you love each other like this,

by this you will prove to be my disciples.

By this you will prove to be my disciples.

And everyone will know it.

And everyone will know it.

Then he puts an if, if you have love for each other.

By this, so there have been three or four ways

we can prove ourselves to be disciples.

Just three or four ways that he suggests.

One of them is, by this you will prove to be my disciples.

And why prove it?

Not because he needs proof, but he says everyone will know it.

And we'll talk about that some more.

If you have love for each other.

Isn't this one of our, isn't this in the eyes of the world

sometimes one of the most difficult problems?

Forget the world, forget the church judging the world.

The church unable to love like Christ loves.

But this is his command.

Go to John 17, Jesus' prayer.

John 17.

Get thee behind me.

John 17.

Verse 21.

Starting at verse 20.

My prayer is not for them all.

My prayer is not for them alone.

I pray for those who will believe in me through their message.

That all of them may be one Father, just as you are in me, and I am in you.

May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.

I have given them the glory that you gave me that they may be one as we are one.

I in them, you in me, so that they may be brought to complete unity.

Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them, even as you have loved me.

Again, some of these sentences are so complicated.

But here's what Jesus is trying to say.

The love of God is only realized fully on earth in our love for one another.

This is heaven's only framework, guys.

This is heaven's only framework.

This is heaven's only framework for making visible his love for us, through us.

Through us, so that the world might see, so that the world might see,

might long for this relationship.

Which relationship?

The one that is vertical with God, vertical with God, horizontal with each other.

We don't believe this, so I hope we slowly get to believe this.

The love of God is realized, the love of God is only realized fully on earth,

if, this is according to Jesus, if our love for one another, in our love for one another.

This is heaven's only framework for making visible his love to the world.

It's the only framework he uses.

So what's an example?

Let's assume I come from a home where my dad was abusive.

Let's assume I come from a marriage which was abusive.

And now I neither trust anyone who is parental,

nor do I trust any person who shows even the slightest interest in getting married

because of the abuse that I have suffered.

But then you invite me into your home.

You invite me into your home and you seem to live your lives openly.

I get to see what a marriage is like that is not abusive.

I get to see a marriage that is kind, that honors, that respects, that lifts up.

I get to see how you treat your son or your daughter.

Initially, I suspected, I think to myself, nah, this is not, this is too good to be true.

Time goes by.

I continue seeing this.

I continue seeing how you love your children.

I continue to see how you love your wife.

As I see your marriage and your parenting, something in me begins to change.

I begin to literally lose those images of how my dad used to beat me up

or how if you were a woman, a man abused you in the marriage.

How you cannot trust.

All of it begins to go.

And once again, over a period of time, your belief in both marriage and in parenting starts getting restored.

Otherwise, you don't believe in either of those institutions.

You don't believe in marriage because you know how disastrous it is.

And you don't believe in this idea of parenting because it is your dad or your mom

or someone in your life that abused you.

And slowly it's being restored.

You go from being a pauper to a prince in the very area that you are completely poverty stricken.

And that is what Jesus is saying.

Listen, my love can only fully be realized on earth in your love for one another.

We don't believe this.

We think, surely God can teach people without us.

But he has decided, just like he has decided that clouds will give rain and not leaves.

Leaves don't sprinkle water. Clouds sprinkle water.

He's decided that there's nothing you can do about it.

In the same way, this is heaven's only framework of making visible his love.

He's decided that the only way the world is going to know both his love for you and his love through you

is only through one system and that system is when you love one another.

He's decided that.

It doesn't mean that there are no other ways, but this is his primary way.

And as people begin to see it, they begin to want the vertical relationship you have with him

and they want to belong to the horizontal relationship you have with each other.

I don't know how many of us here are orphans, but every now and then,

after orphans go through a few foster homes, they come to a family that is loving

and it whips them around into, not into a vortex that goes downward, but a spiral that goes upward.

What happens? They begin to experience something they've never experienced.

In the Psalms, it says, God finds the solitary and gives them a home.

But what kind of a home? A home where this is evident so that people can long for it.

We don't believe this.

We believe this, but we don't believe it's one of God's main ways and everything else is secondary.

Everything else he does because this is perhaps not the only way.

This is why in Acts chapter 4 you read, and the people came and they began sharing their goods together.

Acts 4 · chapter mention

They sold things. And it says there were two reactions to that.

People were either in awe of it and kept a healthy distance because they were afraid

or they completely gave themselves to it. It's one or the other.

And the second thing is that God is not afraid of people who are not in love with God.

They completely gave themselves to it. It's one or the other.

Because this is irresistible, partly because the love that begins to come out is not love that you simulate.

It is love that now is grafted into you. It's not a simulation. It's not an imitation.

But we'll get there a little later.

See, the world cannot see the spiritual indwelling of the Father and Son in you.

The world cannot see the spiritual brotherhood that you share with the rest of the body.

The world cannot see that. But the one thing the world can't see is believers having love for each other.

They recognize it. This is what happened with Ruth, Naomi and Boaz.

Israel saw that this woman, Ruth, who is a Moabitess, has a certain love for Naomi

that far exceeds what Israelite daughter-in-law's had for their mother-in-law's.

They saw it. They saw Boaz's love, that he was willing to lay down his inheritance for a woman

outside of the Israelite Commonwealth so that she could now have what he had.

It was evident. They saw it.

Sometimes when I teach, I think to myself, why does it take you 30 years to get to a truth?

This goes on to say that when the world recognizes how you love one another,

they will, they might or they will believe.

He actually thinks so.

How does this work? What's the mechanics?

He's saying that, listen, if you love each other, if you love each other,

and we'll talk about what kind of love this is shortly, if you love each other this way,

and we'll talk about this way, then one, they'll know you belong to me.

Two, they'll know you love like I love you.

Three, that Jesus loves as the Father loves him.

Four, that Jesus came from the Father and we come from Jesus.

Five, that they will turn to this Jesus like you did.

This is what Jesus says.

Hey, if you love each other the way I've taught you to, then here's what's going to happen.

People will recognize that, gosh, these guys actually belong to Jesus because nobody else can love this way.

Two, they'll know that you love like I love.

Three, they'll know that my Father loves me, Jesus.

They'll know that Jesus loves the Father, Jesus loves as the Father loves him.

Four, that Jesus came from the Father and now we come from Jesus.

Five, then they will turn to Jesus just like we did.

Jesus is saying this, and it all goes back to one simple thing.

Hey, do you love Jagan? Do you love Renny? Do you love George as Jesus loves you?

This is the heart and the soul of the disciples' mission.

Obey my commands and you will remain in my love. Love each other like I have loved you.

Two simple things, guys. The heart of the mission, the heart of the mission is

Love each other like I have loved you.

Obey my commands and remain in my love.

John 15, 10.

This is the world's only hope.

Again, these are such categorical statements Jesus is making.

This is the only way the world will know. That's what he's saying.

This is the world's only hope. This is the only way the world will know.

But these are categorical statements that we don't think are commands we think,

at least I think, they are really good suggestions that one must aspire towards.

I do not love you the way Jesus loves me.

It's the only hope, Jesus says, the world has when the people that I have put together

begin to love each other this way.

Any questions before we go on?

Brandon, where are you? Okay, I'll need those slides up shortly.

I mean, going through this message makes me realize how short I am.

I would suggest we are in this department.

It's not that it's not important. It's not that we don't know this,

but it's not on our top list of priorities.

So what does this love look like? What does Jesus' love look like?

So the first question we need to ask is, what does Jesus' love for you look like?

What does Jesus' love for you look like?

I mean, if you go to Ephesians 3.18 in the message, Ephesians 3.18 in the message,

it says there, that may you be able to take in with all Christians

the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love.

Reach out and experience the breadth, test its length,

plumb the depths, rise to its heights.

So, Brandon, can you put up the first one?

No, the other one.

This was something I read and I took it down.

It talks about God's love. It's talking about the breadth, the height, the dimensions.

It says, His love, and I love the way it's worded,

it covers you in the dark seasons.

Some of you are going through it right now.

It protects you through the night.

Regardless of the kind of day or night you've had, knowingly or unknowingly,

it greets you in the morning and smiles on you through the day.

It is captured at dusk and expressed at dawn.

It is hope to the discouraged and peace to the lost.

The love of Jesus has length. It goes the distance.

I can't fall so far that it won't catch me.

I can't run so fast that it can't get me.

I can't hide so well that it can't find me.

His love is better than my worst day.

It is stronger than my most defiant will.

And it is more forgiving than my cruelest sin.

When I give up, His love goes the distance.

When I give up, His love goes the distance.

The intent is, can you plumb the depths and the length and the breadth and the height of His love?

Sometimes the only way we can do it is by meditating on His love.

Sometimes the experience of love is the result of meditating on His love.

We want the experience without the meditation.

And that is basically our culture, instant gratification.

You want to know the love of God, you'll have to dwell on the love of God.

It's the same in a relationship.

You want your spouse's love.

You have to dwell with her.

And so if you want to experience the length, the breadth, the height and the depth of His love,

it will mean that I meditate or meditate is just God-directed self-talk.

God-directed self-talk is what meditation is.

Why are you beginning to relish?

I just found out this thing called some yogurt, some thick Greek yogurt, what's it called?

Oikosno.

Man, that yogurt, I didn't know yogurt could be so desert-ish.

And I'm relishing it, I'm reading the contents.

Even someone sent me these tiny little liqueur chocolates,

so I opened it and put it on the yogurt to see how it tastes better.

I'm experimenting with it.

The fact is, the intent is you've got to meditate on the yogurt before you begin to think,

oh shucks, this thing that most people eat because they want to be healthy is actually a good dessert.

I mean, think of this.

I was going over this.

You can't fall so far that it can't catch you, run so fast it can't get you, hide so well that I can't find you.

His love is better than my worst day, stronger than the most defined will I have.

Reminds me of Betty's song.

I know Betty didn't write it, but I call it Betty's song, Reckless Love.

Yeah, she's so tired of singing it.

Every time I ask her to, her face looks really sour.

So this is Efficient 318.

So one of the ways we know Christ's love before we can give it out is to actually experience it,

but you cannot experience it without meditating on it.

The next question is, what does it look like to love you like he loves me?

What does it look like to love you?

To love you as he loves me.

This is something I wrote ages ago and might apply.

Brandon?

A letter to my daughter can be a letter to my son.

I just thought every letter is addressed to the son, so why not say daughter for a change?

Here's what it looks like to love you like he loves me.

I will not give up on you as a person,

and it does not matter that you are walking close or far from me.

Each one has a scriptural notation.

Regardless of how you respond, I will confer worth on you,

not just with my words, but with my actions.

My love for you is willing and voluntary, not critical,

suspicious, or over-sensitive.

I won't force my love or force you to do anything because of my love,

but I expect my love to overwhelm you.

I will not cause you to live in fear of my anger or the withdrawal of love.

Never be afraid of that. It won't happen.

As you were reading through this, now change it for a second and think of,

isn't this how God treats you?

Now think of it as God reading it out to you.

Stop thinking of it as you loving somebody.

Think of it as God reading it out to you.

I will not give up on you as a person,

and it does not matter that you are walking close or far from me.

Regardless of how you respond, I will confer worth on you,

not just with my words, but with my actions.

My love for you is willing and voluntary.

It's not critical. It's not suspicious. It's not over-sensitive.

I won't force my love or force you to do anything because of my love,

but I expect my love to overwhelm you.

I will not cause you to live in fear of my love,

in fear of my anger or withdrawal of love.

Never be afraid of that. It won't happen.

I will not bring up and rehash things that we have settled,

and I will not remember things that we have dealt with.

I will bring up in honesty things that need to be spoken and dealt with,

so that our leather sheet of love may be reconciled.

My love will be full of truth, because if my love lacks truth, it is not love.

By the same token, the truth I say to you will be full of love,

because truth that does not have love is not truth.

When things go wrong, when there are hurts, misunderstandings, breakdowns,

times of silence and separation, I will wait for things to change,

and will always leave the door open, expecting you to return.

I'm not easily put off, and I deliberately look for the best in you,

always through the lens of truth.

My love for you is intentional, it's unconditional, it's not looking for return.

My love for you has the same quality of the love I have for my son.

This is the love I extend to you today.

That is how you must expect me to love you,

and that is why I am saying to you that I'm falling short.

And that if I fall short and you fall short,

then the framework that God has provided for the world to see and long

for a community that loves God and loves each other is dismantled.

Any questions?

I will bring up honestly the things that need to be spoken and dealt with

so that our legislative love may be reconciled.

It won't be glossing over things that are wrong.

And my love will be full of truth, because if my love is wrong,

then I will be full of truth.

And then the other one was, I am not easily put off.

I will look for the best in you, but through the lens of truth.

So the glossing over suddenly ends.

And so today, I would like to share with you a few things

that I have been trying to do in my life.

And so to love like this, I can't do it.

I can't love you this way.

Because if I do, then it's not an, it's just an imitation.

It's not a manifestation of his love.

So the only way I can love you like this,

if I understand that we love as he loved, because we love with his love.

We love as he loves,

as he loves, because we love with his love.

That's the only thing that will make what is unlovable in my eyes

or unseemly in my eyes or offensive or obnoxious in you and you in me.

And you in me is the only way I can step into that.

Because there will be times when you seem unseemly, obnoxious, offensive, unlovable.

And there are times when I will be that way in your eyes.

But this is where I cannot love with my love because I am not able to do it.

That's just an imitation. I don't have what it takes.

But because I'm a branch grafted to the vine, it is possible for me

to draw from the same that he does.

This is an extreme call that he's making, which is why we don't usually go for it.

But he says that this is the way to prove you're my disciples.

1 John 3, 1 John 3, from the message, 1 John 3, 11 to 22, from the message, 1 John 3, 11 to 22.

For this is the original message we heard. We should love each other.

We must not be like Cain, who joined the evil one and then killed his brother.

Why did he kill him? Because he was deep in the practice of evil while the acts of his brother were righteous.

So don't be surprised, friends, when the world hates you. This has been going on for a long time.

The way we know we've been transferred from death to life is that we love our brothers and sisters.

Anyone who doesn't love is as good as dead.

Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer.

And you know very well that eternal life and murder don't go together.

This is how we've come to understand and experience love.

Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers,

meaning me for you and you for me, not just be out for ourselves.

If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it,

but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God's love?

It disappears and you made it disappear.

My dear children, let's not just talk about love. Let's practice real love.

This is the only way we know we are living truly, living in God's reality.

It is also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it.

For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.

And friends, once that's taken care of, we are no longer accusing or condemning ourselves.

We are bold and free before God. We are able to stretch our hands out and receive what we ask for

because we are doing what he said, doing what pleases him.

Sometimes when it is difficult to love, look for grace.

When it is difficult to love, look for grace.

As you know, God, give me the ability, give me something from you that will help me.

Look for grace to love.

Often though, you have to step in by faith to receive grace.

When you choose to love, you receive grace to love what may seem unlovable.

Sometimes guys, when you are finding it very difficult to love someone,

I'm not even talking about the outside world, I'm talking about in the church.

When it is very difficult to love someone, ask God for grace. I'm not able to.

So many things have happened, I'm not able to. Ask him for grace.

But sometimes the way to receive that grace is to take a step of faith.

As in deliberately say, I do not have what it takes, but I'm going to go up to Sheldon

and some action, something I'm going to do that despite me not feeling it,

despite it feeling like sawdust, I will take an act, a step.

And the moment you take a step of faith, grace is released.

Sometimes, we don't realize that sometimes in asking for grace, we do not take steps of faith.

Often grace kicks in when a simple step of faith is taken.

Yep, start with one. Start with whoever is in front of you and then let it grow.

How do you do this with more than one person?

So you start with the one in front of you, or start with the one you have to deal with,

and then take it from there.

Either start with the one in front of you, or start with the one that things need to be worked out with.

And it'll take time. Love is a relationship. Relationships take time.

Sorry Joan, do you need a...

The last line, grace to love what may seem unlovable.

Yep.

Some of the best places this love is practiced is in the context of a family,

because you have to take risks. It's in families that you take the risk of hurt,

the risk of it turning messy, the risk of serving, the risk of joy, the risk of laying your life down.

And that's why God would deliberately call what he was creating a family.

There's a reason he would call it that.

He is saying that if you don't do this, if you don't love the way I have just told you to love,

the world will not see.

You'll have to explain to them, Christ dwells in me, I dwell in Christ, we are brothers, we are sisters,

all that stuff that, I mean, you find it hard to understand Jesus.

How hard is it going to be for people to understand you? It's going to be really difficult.

Paul is even worse.

Any questions?

Because we call the church a family of families, and because the church in a sense is supposed to be a primary family,

as you take care of your primary family, your families get taken care of.

And by the same token, when you don't neglect your personal families, you will not neglect.

It's both ways.

One is supposed to take care of one's own family, one who doesn't is an infidel in Jesus' words.

So you are supposed to take care of your family, but not at the expense of the family of God,

which is now your primary family.

And by the same token, when you take care of your primary family, your family is taken care of.

It's not one or the other.

It just fits into each other.

And that's another very hard concept for most Christians, because we live,

I mean, this is going back years ago, where we think God, family, church,

which is an absurd division and is unbiblical.

The question Diana asked was, long ago, and I don't remember, what was it?

What was it?

Yeah, does this apply to my physical family or does it apply to the church family?

I'm saying to both.

One affects the other.

If Derek doesn't take care of Brielle and Iris, please don't think that he will be able to take care of you.

If I don't take care of my mom, then please don't think I'll be able to take care of you.

If I don't give to my mom, if Derek doesn't give to his wife and child, then trust me, he won't give to you either.

Cool.

It's odd, eh, this topic really sobers you up instead of making you very loving.

That's good.

Any questions?

Anything you want to ask before we end?

Go ahead, Tommy.

Okay, so say that again?

Sometimes?

You say that sometimes we need to ask any questions.

And you say that sometimes we need to talk.

Okay, so say that again, sometimes?

You say that sometimes we need to step in by faith.

What would be the other time?

Okay, so Jeremy's question is, it says here that you have to step in by faith.

Sometimes you have to step in by faith.

What about other times? What are the other methods at other times?

Sometimes, God just gives you oodles of grace even though you're not even asking for it.

I remember this person I really disliked, like disliked with such intensity.

And they didn't do me any harm. They were just highly annoying.

That was very annoying.

Highly annoying. And so every time I'd see them, I'd feel irate.

And I'd see them often, so it was not a good thing.

And so I remember sitting at the Dykes in Richmond near Steveston and pleading with God saying,

Father, help me every time I see this person.

They haven't done me any harm, but their ways are so annoying that it just wrecks me inside.

I just get so agitated. Please help me.

And someone, all this person came and said to me when I mentioned this to them is that,

Jacob, can you trust the work of the Spirit to do something inside you?

And I thought that was really sad advice, trust the work of the Spirit.

So I went sat and pleaded with the Lord and all I can hear God saying is,

trust the work of the Spirit, trust the work of the Spirit.

I thought, God, you're also giving sad advice.

And so I go home and then I go to visit this person.

And when I go to visit this person, I'm waiting for that annoyance and irritation to kick in

because it's been happening for years.

And I'm waiting for it to kick in and nothing is happening.

And I'm saying to myself, don't worry, it'll happen in two or three minutes.

Like that's the kind of faith I have. I don't have faith for good things.

I am saying to myself, don't worry, it is going to happen in two or three minutes.

Three or four minutes go by and I'm saying to myself,

this is one of those days when it takes longer.

You just wait, in five minutes it will kick in.

I wait there for five minutes, nothing is happening.

I wait for ten minutes and I'm being super nice to this person.

I wait for fifteen minutes and the person and I are having a decent conversation.

And I suddenly realized that I did not have faith.

I did not trust what the Holy Spirit said when he said trust the work of the Holy Spirit.

I wasn't expecting it.

I had negative faith and yet God did a miracle in my heart.

It was a miracle. You think when you see miracles of feet and hands and all, yes, it's amazing.

But I know the condition of my heart and I know how in seconds my heart turned from bitter annoyance to absolute love.

And that was about six years ago and it has stayed that way.

I couldn't believe the grace I received for something inside me to change

when I did not want to change, when I did not have the faith to change.

So sometimes when it's not faith, it's just oodles of grace.

Grace as in God saying, hey listen, I will touch your heart with my hand and you will not know what has happened.

And it changes you.

Other times he says, hey, I'm willing to give you what you need, but show me that you really want it.

Take a step.

And that's when you sometimes take a step.

Other times you don't do anything, but the person that you're dealing with receives tremendous grace

and they come to you and they are so changed that you don't know what to do, but to respond.

That's when you respond to the grace in somebody else.

These are some of the methods that are used besides faith.

But this thing that I experienced, I treasure.

That was the first time I realized in actual experiential sense, God can change hearts in an instant.

In an instant.

And it was a sheer work of God.

It had nothing to do with me.

So this is the standard of love that we are being asked to now not aspire to,

but to walk, run, stand in.

And so when I deal with you, I'll have to remember this.

When I deal with you on your best day or your worst day, I'll have to remember this.

Because this is the only framework that Jesus Christ has for his love to be fully visible here on earth.

If you love the way I have loved you, if you love Joe, Joshua, Nick,

then it will become evident to the world that I am in you, you love like me,

and they will begin to desire this. They'll desire the vertical relationship, they'll desire the horizontal relationship.

You don't have to figure out how this will work. You just have to obey.

Just have to obey. Let's break bread.

I mean, to answer Emily's question, how do you love more than one person like this,

can you try it with one or two or three persons throughout the year?

Next year, start with one, then go to two, then go to three.

In this church, in this church, start here.

And let it not be the one you are presently married to or that is your best friend.

Let it be someone who is not your best friend.

Guys, we are a community created by shed blood.

We are a community that was created by shed blood.

Not by affinity, not by ethnicity, not by a common belief, not by some great mystery that we found.

We are a community created by shed blood. That's how this community has been created.

And so, this loaf of bread is supposed to represent our many fragmented lives put together.

That's what the loaf of bread is supposed to represent.

The Bible says that in 1 Corinthians 11, that in this loaf of bread,

you understand how your fragmented lives have been put together.

And so, today when we have communion, come and tear from this one loaf.

And as you tear from this one loaf, remember that his body was torn so that we may be one loaf.

So we deliberately come and tear from this loaf.

And as we tear from this loaf, know that his body was torn so that we from different backgrounds,

different tribes have been put together, put together to love one another just as he has loved me.

Second, as you tear, also know that it is one thing we will not do to the body.

Tear it apart. It's both.

So feel free to come up and tear from this loaf that we are.

And as you tear it, know that Jesus was torn so that our fragmented, torn lives may be put back together.

And that we are a community created by shed blood.

And he was torn so that we could be put together and to love one another as he has loved us.

And then after that, go form groups of eight, pray into what we have said,

and then intentionally bless someone, recognize them and bless them.

Think and bless them. And then we'll go.

So what are the steps? We come and tear out of the one loaf.

And as we do, we realize that this is one loaf that's been put together by Christ.

But as we tear, we also remember that he was torn so that we may be put together.

Two, we break up into groups of eight and sit together and just pray into what we've heard, any of these things.

Three, before we leave in those groups of eight, think of how you can bless somebody,

but let it be intentional blessing as in thoughtful blessing.

That's what people who like each other do.

Yeah? Okay. Feel free to come up.

And then while you're sitting in the groups of eight, we'll come and give you the cup,

and you can eat and drink together at your own leisure.

Yeah? But we have to be out of here by, I mean, we have to end by 6.10

so that the crew can take 20 minutes to dismantle. So let's go.